littlenuggsworld

[littlenuggsworld]

“I don’t regret us but I wouldn’t do it again.”

— Unknown

[littlenuggsworld]

[littlenuggsworld]

2 year update… requested by the man I still call Daddy.

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It’s been A LONG TIME since I’ve actually sat to reflect on the relationship between him and I. And it’s been around 1 year since my last writing assignment. That last writing assignment we were still in an “official” 24:7(ish) dynamic. A lot has happened since that last writing assignment. A lot has happened in general between him and I. But, he asked for an updated writing assignment, so, what Daddy wants Daddy gets…

The last 1-2 years, for me, have been a huge whirlwind of emotions. Happy moments. Extremely sad moments. A lot of anxious moments. Moments of feeling almost utter euphoria to extreme despair and gut wrenching pain. Hard realizations that hurt to even let your mind discover and you quickly try everything in your power to forget and go into denial to stop the hurt. Some weeks at a time feel effortless and easy and some are alot more work and hard and hurt. But we get through and continue to grow. The biggest change/update made about a year ago now actually, was ending our 24:7 dynamic. The dynamic that was everything to me, but also not giving me enough at the same time. Funny about these kinds of dynamics you build with someone, it’s true when they say it’s almost an unbreakable bond. We may have ended our D/s official dynamic, but so many parts of who we are with each other have stayed. The biggest one being he IS my person. Still. Something I literally refuse to let go of. Despite how much it hurts me at the same time.

Over the last year while still remaining in constant contact, there’s been some positives in the way our dynamic/relationship with each other moves. It’s still growing. Firsts are still happening. There are so many firsts I still want to experience with him. There are times he is there for me more than he ever was before. And in big ways. Dynamic or no dynamic in play. Our connection and unique bond remains. Consistent. But at times I’m also still finding myself disappointed and heartbroken, since this much time later the biggest part that needs to change hasn’t and shows no promise of it happening. But still, I’m holding on. The thought of not holding on anymore, hurts too much. One of those primal instincts maybe?

I’ve noticed over the last year how much our connection still seems to be growing. We may be even closer now than ever before, despite the downs we’ve had. We move past them. Sometimes easily. And sometimes not so easily. But every time a struggle comes up, it never causes resentment for us. We move past it and try to strive for better, learning from each other what we both still need and striving to grow together. For me, all of this is a huge sign that our relationship is a great one for each other. We are still even now, nearly 100% compatible in every way. But regardless of this fact and the connection we have, I’m not the only one deciding how to move forward with us.

This last year for him and I has probably been the hardest year. The most painful emotions have come into play For him and I both. I briefly dated someone else, which may have been a small eye opener for him and our situation. But, maybe not? Since we still are where we are. Trying to navigate not having an official dynamic anymore, despite still treating each other a certain way. It comes very naturally for us to fall into old dynamic patterns. He is still Daddy. I am still Nuggs. I still am learning bits about myself, and learning to fully and openly communicate certain things to him without feeling a negative type of way for doing so. I’m still praying that he is also doing the same and working on how to always be better for me, striving to meet my needs, even while not in some strict dynamic. He still is always willing to listen to me. Let me vent. Be my person. I’m still grateful for that.

Im still hopeful things can end up the way we need them to, the way I want them to. We aren’t getting any younger, life still continues to move forward, while it feels like him and I are just standing still, watching life we could be living together, continue to pass by. I’m hopeful this changes and that it’s for the best for him and I.

I appreciate him and everything we’ve been through more than he knows. He is still my favorite person. My person that calms me when I need it, even when I’m told things I don’t want to hear. He is always still my Daddy. I still am learning to control some of my emotions when they hit me. He does his best to navigate around them when I’m being irrational or more in the sensitive side. It has been the hardest year for me, when it comes to him and me.

While I miss our official dynamic. The rules. The protocols. The feelings and emotions that come with it all. The feeling of belonging to him, growing with him. I miss the feeling of belonging to him and only him. I dreadfully miss it. But at the same time, I’m constantly reminded of the things he isn’t able to give me right now. And might not ever give me. These last 2 years of a growing dynamic we built, and the ending of it, and the in between we are in right now I’ve still cherished and am thankful for. But me being who I am, I still strive for more. For better for us both. I want to see him happy and living in life. And I want to be with him doing life. And I know, we could be and would be, the best for each other, eventually. For right now, we’re in the in between and trying to make the best of it.

Side note:

-I still love anal with Daddy. ;) best orgasms.

-I still need paddle spankings most likely for my emotional needs and the fun bruises I love…

-I recently communicated more of what I want to try and need from him. And he was good about telling me how to communicate it or start a convo for it.

I love Daddy more than he knows and sometimes I show it in weird ways. He knows why. He is my person. The person I don’t want to ever let go of. I want to forever be Daddy’s Princess/Nuggs and Daddy’s fuck toy, 24:7.

All things worth having never come easy. I know I’m worth having by him and I know we’re worth fighting for… for now

❤️‍🩹

[littlenuggsworld]

What I’ve learned these past 10 months in this dynamic…

**New writing assignment given by Daddy**

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•I’ve learned more about my needs Vs. My wants. What I truly NEED. But also what I truly WANT.

•I’ve learned that I really don’t know what I truly “like” or don’t like until I’ve tried it.

•I’ve learned to be more patient.

•I’ve learned and am still learning to be less reactive to emotions sometimes. They’re what make me human, but reacting in a better way sometimes is more proactive.

•I’ve learned and am still learning to really fully trust another human.

•I’ve learned that it’s ok to let your guard down sometimes with the right person. To be more vulnerable. I have a hard time doing that, but with Daddy I can be vulnerable and it’s ok.

•I’ve learned that to submit to Daddy, being vulnerable is crucial.

•I’ve learned just how much one can connect with another when it’s the right human. Daddy’s been that right human since day 1.

•Ive learned to speak up about what I need, but at the right time. (Work In progress still)

•I’ve learned to start embracing and owning exactly who I am. (Service sub, brat, little) all of my subby traits that make me ME. But also my non subby traits.

•I’ve learned to fight for what I want and what I deserve.

•I’ve learned that although I’m very independent, I crave deep connection.

•I’ve learned that while I am very mentally strong, I don’t always want to be. I want someone to sometimes be strong for and with me. I want to sometimes be taken care of, not always the one to take care of others.

•I’ve learned that I truly want someone to lead. I don’t want to lead. And how much I love Daddy leading me.

•I’ve learned just how deep my emotions run and how important they are.

•I’ve learned certain bonds you develop with another are unbreakable, no matter the circumstances.

•I’ve learned that giving up control to the right person is exactly what I need.

•I’ve learned just how much I really love this dynamic with Daddy.

•I’ve learned how much I love the D/s dynamic in general. The rawness and real connection it can lead you into.

•I’ve learned that Daddy is the one I want to continue to grow with. To continue to learn with.

•I’ve learned just how much I can truly love another for everything that they are, right now. Exactly as they are.

•I’ve learned how much I love learning more with Daddy.

I’ve learned how much I love doing life with Daddy.

•I’ve learned just how much I really love Daddy.

•I’ve learned that this dynamic with Daddy is everything I needed and want.

•I’ve learned exactly what I want.

•I’ve learned that to be owned by Daddy is exactly what I want. The idea of someone “owning” me 2 years ago I would have thought to be ridiculous. Now, it is literally my biggest craving. To be Daddy’s, 100%, all the time, everywhere.

I’ve learned a lot this past year and look forward to learning more about me, Daddy, this dynamic, and life.

[littlenuggsworld]

[littlenuggsworld]

Do you ever just get so overwhelmed with life that all you want is your dom/daddy to come in and completely dominate you? Like please make my decisions for me. Make me a mindless subby for you. Even if it’s not sexual. Force me into little or puppy space. I wanna be a brainless little girl who just does what she’s told. I don’t wanna think anymore

[littlenuggsworld]

[littlenuggsworld]

My Daddy likes to take a lot of naps… he’s a hard working tired Daddy… so this is me a lot of the time! 😂💁🏻‍♀️

[littlenuggsworld]

[littlenuggsworld]

[littlenuggsworld]

anal play…

**New writing Assignment given by Daddy **

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What’s my Anal play journey been like? Interesting. Haha

I was always one for being more against anal play. Stick a finger in there during sex, ok. No big deal. But stick a full size toy in there, no thanks. Stick a dick in there, absolutely not. But admittedly, I was more against it due to fear. Fear of the possible mess. Fear of being judged. Fear of actually enjoying it. Omg, what if I actually ENJOY it?!? 😑

Anal play comes with a huge stigma. You must be easy if you like anal. You must be dirty if you like anal. You must be one that “gets around” if you enjoy anal. You must be one that’s so overused you needed another hole. Or you must be any or all of those if you even let someone put it up your butt, whether you enjoy it or not. These are things people associate with anal. Along with, exit only. The thought of anal actually being something enjoyable for sex, the place poop comes out, is unnerving to a lot. Poop also being a talking point most are against, especially women & poop. Another topic for another time. I’ve also learned over the recent years how close minded so many of those people are. And how much their sex life might and probably SUCKS! (No pun intended)

So, some almost 2 years ago I meet Daddy. Daddy is pretty well rounded in the sex department. Pretty experienced. Ok, he used to be a man whore. I’m ok with this, he’s seasoned! We click. I naturally submit to him in so many ways, from the very start. Can’t say why, I just do. So starts the sex part of our journey. Daddy knows from our discussions that I’ve never done anal. But after discussions, I’m pretty open to it with him. (For some reason I’m open to almost anything with him. This man could get me to do almost anything. Don’t let that go to your head too much Daddy…😏)

So of course it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world the first few times. It’s definitely a different sensation. Not horrible. But it does take a few times before your butt is like, ok, this isn’t bad. Then, ok, I kinda like it. Then ok, I can get off this way! So the first few times were uncomfortable, but bearable and quick. Baby steps. Of course we started with picking out a butt plug.

This pretty rainbow one with a diamond. Started using it during foreplay. Worked my way up to using it longer and a few random times by myself at home. Some time passed with this, then Daddy decides it’s anal time with him. Not too bad. Not amazing either. My Main focus the entire time the first few times was the feeling that someone should be coming out, not going in. We naturally associate that feeling with anything in your butt. So it’s an adjustment and you need to rewire your brain a bit to that sensation not always meaning somethings coming out so that you can start to enjoy it. And, breathe. It took a few times before my butt got used to the different sensation and then for it to actually feel good.

I now can wear the diamond butt plug, or another kind we got, for a long period of time. Including half the day and out to the bar. Haha forgetting I even had it in. Daddy enjoys when I’m wearing it out. Daddy also I think is ready for me to up my plug size a bit.

We now dabble in anal play more often, now that I more so enjoy it. I have this cool vibrating anal toy. He’s given me a few assignments where I’m to masturbate doing anal. The first one I did, I used a toy for anal and a vibrator on top. It was a much more intense orgasm. I was surprised. 1. Because it happened pretty fast. and 2. The more intense orgasm I wasn’t expecting. It’s an interesting feeling to be slightly sore but also relaxed and have that kind of orgasm. It’s a mix between pain & intense pleasure. Only a few weeks ago I had my first orgasm doing anal with Daddy. Also, pain & intense pleasure. And I definitely enjoyed it.

I still get anxiety over if it’s gonna be a mess at all. But, Daddy also knows what he’s getting into if he’s putting it up my butt.. soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sorry for the mess Daddy?! I am only human. I know I’m a girl, but I do poop.

Anal has its stigmas but, this girl enjoys it once in a while and could literally care less now. I’ll own that shit. (Again, no pun intended😊)

Good sex = anal included. Daddy loves all my holes.

So a big thank you to Daddy for getting me to experience more. And popping my anal cherry.

Here’s to future anal orgasms and experiencing more butt play things. Im still not sure if I want your reign can smelling like my B hole though. 😂

[littlenuggsworld]

[littlenuggsworld]

[littlenuggsworld]

So Daddy and I reworked our rules/protocols list after discussing some new things I’ve realized I need within our dynamic. I made it pretty. 😊

[littlenuggsworld]

What does being a little mean to me?

**New writing assignment given by Daddy.**

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I’ve been in this D/s relationship with Daddy now about 8 months I think. My first one. And I will say it has definitely been eye opening with learning more and more about myself. What I need, what I don’t need. What I want, what I don’t want. What I crave, What repulses me.

Daddy has done a great job at opening my mind up to exploring so many amazing things. New feelings. New desires. New cravings. Needs and desires I’ve had, but suppressed out of fear, shame, guilt? He’s accepted all the things I either love or don’t.

From the beginning I knew being submissive came pretty naturally for me with Daddy. But, only with him. Of course, I have my moments where it takes more work, especially while learning so much about this new relationship and myself. Learning to let go of more control and surrendering to him. Trusting he is doing everything FOR me and my best interest. I’ve been eager to learn and please Daddy as best I can in each moment. However, I did not realize until more recently, how many “Little” traits I have.

Being a little of any kind has its stigmas. So I may have realized these traits of mine, but not been ready to admit them or To discuss them with Daddy and actually give them that proper recognition. I own being a sub. And I don’t believe anyone fits only into one box. At times I’m a service sub. At times a bit of a brat. But more often than those, my little traits come out. And I still feel weird(?) discussing it. I’ve never been embarrassed(?), ashamed, or shy about discussing things with Daddy, until I brought this up. Most of all completely terrified that it would make him not want me. What if my more little traits he hates? What if it’s a turn off? What if we don’t align anymore once this is all discussed and brought to light more? This all makes me extremely nervous. To the point that I could easily cry if one wrong word is said while discussing it.

But it is Daddy who’s brought this out of me. For whatever reason, so many things about me have been brought to the surface after meeting him and starting this relationship. Something about him, our connection, our bond.

Some things that contribute to making my “little” heart happy and put me more into that space:

- calling Daddy, Daddy

- Hearing Daddy call me Nuggs, little Nuggs, My little girl. (Do it all the time Daddy)

- Cuddling in Daddy’s hoodie.

- Daddy making decisions for me. Even the simplest.

- Daddy’s rules I’m supposed to follow.

- Lots of reassurances and attention

- Cuddles, hugs, grabs from Daddy ALL the time. I need to be touched by him often.

- Him touching me whenever we’re together. (Leg grab, holding my hand, arm around me.)

- The idea of stuffies. I don’t have any yet but, I like the idea of getting them

- Lots of blankets

- Big pillows to cuddle with

What does it mean when I’m in more of a little headspace?

I’m a more serious person often. Strong. Strong headed. Organized. OCD. Anxiety. Lots of anxiety. Realistic. This space allows me to be more carefree. Less responsibility. Less stress. Less negative thoughts. Less anxiety and if I feel anxious, Daddy would help ease it. Being more present in those carefree moments and just enjoying every minute with Daddy. Feeling more protected, safe, loved, taken care of, admired, desired, and free to indulge in a more naive, playful, and the most vulnerable manner. I desire most to be taken care of and accepted more than I usually am.

It is time to own this part of me that I do want to get to know more. And hopefully with Daddy by my side, accepting and guiding me. He is my favorite person. And now he knows more about my desires, wants and needs within our growing dynamic. I love doing this part of life with you Daddy.

[littlenuggsworld]

“I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation for the little things, my vivid inner life, my deep awareness of others’ pain, and my passion for it all.”

— Unknown

[littlenuggsworld]

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”

— Carl Jung