lokilysolbitch

[lokilysolbitch]

a tip i don't think i've seen:

do you want to know what non-intuition (like getting spiritual information wrong) feels like. just tell a lie

like. say something verifiably untrue, something you fully don't believe. observe how your body feels internally. now say something you can prove is true and fully believe. observe again. you could try a half truth too. or a deceiving truth that leaves out vital information. idk go crazy. i'm not your mom

ex) i have a cat. i have no cats. i have two cats.

at least for me, an intuitive no, or "wrong" feels like telling a lie. intuitive truth feels like saying something true. this will make you uncomfortably aware of when you're lying to yourself sometimes though lmao

but yes get in tune with your body. know how it feels in your body when you lie.

protip, you can do this anytime too. "is that loki's energy im feeling? my name is [lie]. loki is here. my name is [your name]. loki is here. okay yeah loki is here"

[lokilysolbitch]

once again having nerd hour but this time it's also like. part of a formal class

is it just me who sees the modern american christian parallels. i feel like whenever i'm learning about a civilizations dominant religion im like oh yeah christians are like that now

and then wonders if the same nicher christian parallels are there

like christianity is dominant here. most people are christian. there are easily findable christian places of worship, theres even different options, different areas will have their own dominant form of christianity (like southern baptists). there's different levels of christians from nuns to pastors to regular churchgoers to the "only on easter and christmas" goers, to passive believers, to devout christians who practice entirely differently from the church and actively avoid the church, to devout christians who regularly went to church but privately had a completely different view of the religion, to people who didn't even really believe but just went for the atmosphere and the music

i need to go back there and spy on everyone. i need to be the 10 year old standing in the back of the [insert joint place of worship] wondering why everyone does all that and do they feel anything? or do they do it just because it's what they do. i need to know how much of it was personal and how much was performance of what was expected. i need to see the group psychology as it happens. i need to see the weirdos who worshipped alone because they didn't want to be called demonic. i need to see who was worshipping the demons of the time. i need to see the community inside jokes and idioms about their gods. did they have versions of "leave room for jesus" and "the devils beating his wife" too? let me innnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

like plsssssss just give me an ancient priestess's phone number😭

i need to see what parts of the religion was there for solely devotion and what parts were added to display dominance, or to use as control, or to further outcast people they didn't like, or what was watered down to get more people to follow their religion, because following their religion meant following their government

let me innnnnn there just let me see i promise i won't touch anything🙏

[lokilysolbitch]

i hate saying spell ingredients and spell in witchy contexts but i can never think of good alternatives

i could not explain why either i just hate it. "gather your spell ingredients" 😕 no....

but like what do i say. mouskatools?

i can't keep living like this😞(/j)

[lokilysolbitch]

me: *thinking about lucifer and satan*

me:

me: so how do you guys know each other🤔 (/j)

lucifer: 🤭

lucifer: friends from back in the day (/j)

[lokilysolbitch]

my classes are starting up again and i just found out within the first week two separate classes will cover some history of places whos gods i work with oh my god oh my god

guys god loves me. if i had a nickel for every time the topics i struggled studying on my own ended up right in front of me in a bow and with a tutorial book

IM SO EXCITED

[lokilysolbitch]

stop this is so me XD

no but every time i come across this post it's bittersweet bc it's nice to see someone get it even if it's literally me but also this shit still happens non stop. why is everyone convinced i just sit around. i can name like two people in my real life who understand that i'm actually just disabled

anyways though, the fatigue, and the "flu" symptoms in the morning, and stomach pain i've been able to cut down a LOT, bc uhhh i found out i was allergic something in toothpaste and that also my body really cannot tolerate most foods (esp gluten that's where at least 70% of my fatigue was from). so. i'm no longer accidently poisoning myself every single day on a schedule 👍

and i lessened some of the other symptoms a litttle bit bc i found out not the cause, but this one comorbidity that was making some other stuff worse so i dealt with that first and it helped w everything else

but i am in fact still chronically ill, and all my "extra" energy is put right back into almost getting basic self care tasks met. and now people are more convinced i spend my day just fucking around bc "if your fatigue is so much better, then why can't you ________". bc im using all that new energy for the basic self care i couldnt do before, plus better specialized self care for all my other still existing symptoms. 🧍no i still cannot go on a daily walk, i'm still working on feeding enough fuel to a body that doesn't go on daily walks, and a body that reacts to most foods. can't put out more energy than i get in.

it's like being in $500 in debt and people keep telling you to just buy a budget planner. and then you come into $200 and they just get mad you spent it on groceries and lessening your debt instead of on a planner.

like BRO if ur idea ain't free it's not happening like it physically cannot happen. stop asking me

new idea next guy to not understand my chronic illness are more than just a mild issue gets raw shrimp in their car hoods

[lokilysolbitch]

so dodies album comes out october 3rd which honestly is basically september and august is pretty much over which means her album comes out in 45 minutes can't wait guys XD

[lokilysolbitch]

spiritual rambles and theories

im not the first person to say these things but i get all my spiritual beliefs from my own experience, mainly bc i just hate the idea of adopting spiritual beliefs without experiencing it first. bc don't tell me what to do😭i will stick my hand in there and figure it out myself, thank you very much

spiritual v physical

i think the spiritual mirrors the physical and the physical mirrors the spiritual. (this is def not a unique thought) so i think if you can't do something physically and you do witchcraft to do the thing, that's you moving the spiritual energy so the physical will follow to match. like magnets across glass. you can move whichever one first but the other will follow.

i think everything has a spirit (also not new, this is animism) so like, one car on a road will have a different overall energy than two cars. a red car has different energy than a blue one. and i think those differences effect the physical but not nearly always in some big way. the red car might just make your spirit feel a little more bold, the same way it can physically subconsciously makes you feel more bold. or maybe you personally react differently to red, that could be reflected spiritually too. i think they're connected but not in the big way people fearmonger about. i think the parallels between spiritual and physical can get very hard to spot sometimes, and they can be misread.

not sure though how i feel about the idea of a "glass" or veil separating the spiritual and physical. i usually say i think of the physical as objects in a room and the spiritual as the air. like the air is all over. there's no wall separating it from anything. there's no single portal really. maybe you could open something to give air more access to other parts of it though. maybe you could get a really really good airtight jar but there will automatically still be air in it. just contained air. maybe certain specific "airs" like smoke or something could be somewhat blocked out? to a degree? things leak through though. you can't block out ALL the air.

more spirit thoughts, atom edition

i also wonder sometimes if the spiritual is the space between atoms, and the space between electrons and the nucleus, and maybe when a god triggers an intuitive thought, they are subtly and gently pushing atoms and cells in your brain to make the right synapses connect. or feeling a "hug" from deities is them VERY gently pushing the atoms on your body where arms in a hug would be. but for whatever reason i've always just really fucking hated talking about atoms so this theory pisses me off a little bit. like i think it makes sense but i don't wanna think about atoms😭

so like do spirits have nervous systems? no. but can they feel atoms move? yes. probably through their entire being. that's my guess.

spirits but like as a color wheel

i also don't think there's a hard separation between spirits. like i think lucifer is a little bit loki somewhere. and lokis connected to odin somewhere. and odin is connected to a random ghost somewhere. like those circular color spectrums. there's no solid line between blue and green.

psychic perception

i think people are always or usually taking in spiritual information that's around them but not always recognizing it. like you can technically always feel clothes on you but you can block it out (at least for allistic people). i think practicing clairs is just noticing more and paying more attention spiritually. it's like training your ear to consciously notice the subtle underlying sounds or harmonies in songs

so like sometimes deities will tell me things and i won't pick it up until later, and i'm claircognizant so like i'll just be thinking about deities and i'll just. find an answer sitting in my brain like it's been there for a while. it's like they just leave an envelope and wait until i find it on my own time.

biblically accurate curiosity NOT CLICKBAIT

if u have ocd or anxiety around like mind-reading or thoughtcrimes maybe skip this section😬

i think want and intention and curiosity spiritually look like reaching out. the image that comes to mind is always like. a little soot sprite and the want/intention/curiosity is it's little hand sticking out. not always grabbing. maybe with curiosity it's poking a little though.

i say this bc i'm very curious by default and whenever i'm just passively curious about a question sometimes my deities will answer before i even think of asking anything😭and i'm like "did u.......did u see that" and they're like "yeah👍🤷‍♂️" UR NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT😭i just wanted to ponder a little leave me alone✋😔

kind of like how cats ears automatically perk up when they hear something even if they don't move their head. idk if they realise that happens but humans can definitely see it. i imagine my "spiritual eyes"* focus on something and deities see it and go "oh, this? do you want to see?"

*i actually imagine curiosity spiritually almost like a 3-d paint splatter and the drips of paint that splay every which way have eyes at the end and the eyes stretch out and look at or poke and prod at stuff. 🧍is that creepy. idk i think it's cute. but also i'm always thinking about how whenever i'm curious about like why lucifer's hair is blond for me or something, is he just. seeing a bunch of eyes all over his hair😭my bad, king, i just wanna know what conditioner u got on

gods

i don't really have thoughts on what a god is in comparison to other spirits bc sometimes the question bothers me when people act like i need to know. i think they're big though. and i also think they are concepts but i think concepts are alive and have preferences and autonomy. like i don't think a truth deity represents truth the way a person represents a company. i think they ARE truth. i think truth can take a human appearance through clairs. i think it can speak languages. i think it can be ugly, there's literally a phrase for that. it can also be beautiful or scary. it can hurt and heal. it can be attracted to certain people. idk if truth has human feelings, but it could have similar ones. it can look like it has human ones but also humans project human qualities onto things. or are we sensing qualities that are similar to ours and naming it as well as we can. i've only ever known the human experience so there's no way to tell

i'm not sure though if a deity is like, existing on earth as the concept and spiritually they're like something else. like there's my physical body and my spiritual one. so is truth a physical body if it's not even physical? or is truth itself spiritual, and it's physical body would be physical representations of truth. if i write the truth down on paper, have i made a physical body for the deity, like a statue? idk🤷‍♀️but if truth is spiritual then that's what i mean by spiritual being the air in a room. there's no one big wall, but to a degree you can kind of block out certain truths or try to keep them away. but also, the truth is already in you. this shit is so hard to explain😭

maybe a better example would be the ocean. an ocean would be a physical body, so maybe an ocean god is the spiritual body. so do gods appear physically then, just as things like the ocean? is sitting in the ocean to be with an ocean god. is accidentally swallowing ocean water, like, communion. is carrying a jar of ocean water a bit like carrying lock of hair of someone you love.

idk these r just my current theories. if you've seen these same thoughts echoed elsewhere let me know bc i feel like some of them match older theories but whenever i try to learn about the older theories i'm like. wtf are they saying to me rn. but i swear it's the same😭

[lokilysolbitch]

seeing people my age talk about how scared they are of memory loss, which they only associate with old age, is so surreal to see as a 24 year old who has actively experienced memory loss for a long time now

there are causes for memory loss besides dementia and alzheimer’s, i hope y’all know that. dissociative disorders, trauma, brain injuries, thyroid problems, even just stress and lack of sleep can fuck up your ability to store, process, and access memory. and that’s just a few of the many causes i can think of off the top of my head right now.

please stop treating disabled people like some scary “other” that you might become only in the distant, decades-away future. we are your age, too. you may become one of us sooner than you know. stop acting like memory loss marks the end of a life, when so many of us have so much living left to do!

[lokilysolbitch]

kpop demon hunters from the perspective of the fans is so fucking funny because what do you mean the biggest kpop girl group in korea is beefing with and wrote a devastating diss track about a brand new boy band that debuted like 4 weeks ago and only has one song out

[lokilysolbitch]

some of the comments on my censorship post are like “um I think books should be rated like movies because some books feature stuff like gang rape that teens shouldn’t be allowed read”

ok. now imagine being a librarian and looking a teenager who’s been gang raped in the eye and saying “oops, sorry, can’t allow you to read this one, it’s for big kids and you’re not ready for it”

[lokilysolbitch]

Nothing I’ve read has changed me more than “you do people a favor by accepting their help” like I repeat this constantly to so many people because it’s true!!! People like to feel useful, they like to feel kind, they like to feel like they have an ability to impact people’s lives so just let them!! Not everything is a thing to be owed back — accept people’s kindness without making a competition out of it

[lokilysolbitch]

Just make it exist first, you can make it good later

[lokilysolbitch]

I think there's this problem where a subset of The Left has assigned a positive moral value to the amorphous concept of kink, but a negative moral value to any individual actual kinks. so you get people gleefully calling themselves perverted freaks but then you scroll down their posts and it's like s&m is abusive and teacher/student roleplay is gross and petplay is basically bestiality and if you don't use a safeword for every scene and check in every three minutes then you're evil and if you wear a collar in the grocery store you're basically committing sexual assault on everyone who sees you. and it's like I dunno man I think you might just be vanilla. which is only a problem because you yourself don't seem to know that.

[lokilysolbitch]

Reading a story you wrote when you were 13 is something that makes you realise that there was always something weird and lonely about you. Mostly weird.

[lokilysolbitch]

[lokilysolbitch]

Well, you know what they say; Rome was built in a day, and if you're going any slower than that, you're basically fucked with no hope at all