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lonelybob · 3 years ago

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Long read on the behind the scene challenges of making a successful TV series.

Good day Mr Flanagan. please what does "the rest is confetti" mean to you and in the context it was used in hill house??

Okay, here we go. Buckle up for a long read.

To answer this, I've got to explain a little bit about what was happening and where I was when I sat down to write episode 10 of The Haunting of Hill House.

Hill House was not a fun shoot. The picture above is from very early in production, when I was still chubby and happy.

It was my first foray into television. I was absolutely terrified that I'd mess it up. So I'd opted to direct all of the episodes myself, figuring that - if nothing else - I'd have no one else to blame if it went south.

It was the most grueling professional experience of my career. The shoot was by no means a smooth one, every day was an uphill battle from a budgetary perspective, and between the three giant production entities involved with the production, I spent a lot of time fighting over the creative and logistical elements of the series.

I began losing weight. I was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.

By the end of the shoot, I had dropped almost 40 lbs.

I was very depressed. Every day was a battle, and for the first time in my career, I wasn't excited to go to work in the morning. We were fighting for basic resources, fighting for the show we wanted, and even fighting amongst ourselves by the end. It was grueling.

We hadn't written all of the scripts when we started production. I believe we had finished through episode 7, but the rest of the scripts had to be finished while we were already shooting.

We'd mapped everything out in the writers room, and I had great support on the other episodes, but I was writing the finale solo. I'd thought I'd be able to juggle it with everything else. I quickly fell behind.

I finally got to the script about halfway through production. I'd work on it between takes at the monitor, and then get home to our tiny rental house in Atlanta, where Kate was waiting with our baby son. (One of the rare bright spots of this shoot came when Kate found out she was pregnant about halfway through production. We even named our daughter Theodora, in honor of her origins.)

I'd typically fall down from exhaustion when I got home, but I had to push through it and work on the script. My weekends were spent shotlisting and prepping for upcoming episodes. We didn't have enough time to stay ahead of prep, so every available day was used for that... I went three months without a single day off at one point.

I'd sit up late staring at the script. I was in a dark, dark place. Overwhelmed, exhausted, and feeling like I lived in an eternal present. Each day bled into the next and it didn't feel like there was an end in sight. That feeling of unreality was heightened because we kept returning to the same sets, same locations, and even the same scenes throughout the 100 shooting-day production. Stepping back into the exact room we had shot in days or weeks or even months ago made the whole thing feel absolutely surreal. Making moves is always an non-linear experience, but this one felt particularly so... it was like the days of our lives were happening to us all out of order.

I remember feeling something like despair creeping into my daily experience on the show. And I remember dwelling on that when I got into the scene work of episode 10.

As I worked through the draft, I recall that despair coloring a lot of what was on the page. My filter was breaking down. There's a monologue at the beginning of the episode where Steven's wife Leigh (played by my dear friend Samantha Sloyan) spews out a torrent of eviscerating insults about Steve's value as a writer. That is just me vomiting onto myself. She was voicing all of my deepest insecurities about myself at the time, and of what I was doing with this series.

She says "Is anything real before you write it, Steve? The things you write about, they're real. Those people are real, their feelings are real, their pain is real - but not to you, is it. Not until you chew it up, digest it, and shit it out onto a piece of paper and even then, it's a pale imitation at best."

This was the mindset I was in for a lot of the shoot. The writing became a reflection of a lot of that turmoil, and I knew who I was referring to in that monologue - I was talking about my family. I was talking about how much of their lives I'd used as building material for this show. I was talking about the fact that I'd lost two loved ones to suicide, and seen what it had done to my mother in particular. And I knew I was using - possibly even exploiting - those people for this series.

There's a lot of despair in this episode. The Red Room, as we conceived it, was a place that would feed upon those emotions. Grief, sadness, loss... those were the real ghosts of our series, and where our characters find themselves at the start of the finale. They're being slowly digested - eaten alive - by those feelings.

So finally, it came time to write Nell's final scene with her siblings. I knew from the outline we'd constructed in the writers room what this was supposed to accomplish - she was supposed to be their salvation. She was supposed to take all of these feelings that we'd been wrestling with and finally provide catharsis... finally say something that would free everyone.

I remember sitting with a blinking cursor for a long time. The Crain siblings had just turned and seen Nellie standing by the door, and suddenly were able to hear her speak. But what should she say? What would I say? What would I want someone to say to me?

What she ultimately says lays bare a lot of what I was thinking about when it comes to grief. It exists outside of linear time, much as I felt I existed at the time. That sense of eternal present, that sense of a nonlinear eternity of moments and memories - it all came out in her speech to her brothers and sisters.

I remember feeling, looking at my insane present and looking back at my past, how strangely overwhelmed I was by memories. That I wasn't experiencing time in a straight line, and hadn't been for a while - for the better part of a year, I'd felt more like I was standing in a whirlwind of moments. "Our moments fall around us like..." Nell said, and I recall sitting back and trying to find the words.

"Rain," for certain, but there was something too uniform about that. The moments of life as I experienced them weren't that orderly, they weren't that small. They didn't fall the same way. Some sailed by, fast and unremarkable, while others lingered in front of me, twisting and stretching. So it was a good word, but not the right word. I left it on the page though.

"Snow" was my next attempt. Better, in that I imagined the snow blowing in the wind, swirling and dancing and feeling more organic. More chaotic. More like life. But for some reason, the word that stuck with me, the word I felt Nell Crain would connect with was...

"Confetti."

And that was because I was thinking not of Victoria Pedretti at this point, but of Violet McGraw.

Violet played Young Nell, and I wondered what she might have said if she experienced time this way. As an adult, Nell was despairing. Nell was overwhelmed. But as a child... there was an innocence to the word. There was a joy to the word.

I imagined moments falling around her, this little girl with the big smile and the wide eyes. Her moments would be colorful. They would be of different shapes and sizes, some falling fast and some falling slow, flipping and turning and dancing in the air, independent of the others. Sparkling, whirling, doing lazy summersaults as they sauntered down to Earth.

I thought of myself, and of the members of my family. I thought of those we'd lost. I realized what I hoped for them, and for us all, in the end... was to look upon that mosaic of experience, that avalanche of days and minutes and moments... and to smile with some of the joy we had as children.

And this, I thought, was something that gave me hope. This gave me a glimpse of some kind of salvation for them. This was also how I hoped my life might seem if I was a ghost - a cascade of color and light and shape and movement, something I could dance in.

So Nell smiled and said... "or confetti."

It stuck with me. The rest of her monologue gets heavy again, and gets to the real point of the show - the point of the whole series, if I'm honest - and that's forgiveness.

I figured the only thing that would let the Crain children out of the Red Room was to be forgiven. I thought of the losses in my own family, and I thought of what I wished for my mother and for my aunts and uncles and cousins and I tried to pour that into her final words.

"I loved you completely, and you loved me the same," she said, "that's all." And this was the point I wanted the most to make. That at the end of our life, if we can say this about each other, the rest doesn't matter. The rest is that rainstorm, or that blizzard, that fell around this one central truth, and maybe built itself in piles around it, to the point we lost sight of it along the way.

And I thought again of that little girl, and almost as an afterthought, wrote "The rest is confetti."

I liked the way it sounded, but I was insecure about the line. I almost took it out, in fact. I remember asking Kate to read the scene and talking about that last line with her. "Is it too cute?" I wondered. She was on the fence. "Depends on how it's acted," she said, and I figured she was right. We could always take it out if it didn't work. The scene could end with "I loved you completely, and you loved me the same. That's all."

Why not shoot it and see what happened.

I turned in the script, we published it quickly so that we could start breaking it down and prepping it. And the next morning I was back on set. I'd deal with episode 10 when it came down the pipe again, sometime in the coming months. We had a lot of shooting to get through before I had to worry about it.

I recall Netflix asking me to cut a lot of that monologue, and I remember them also having questions about the "confetti" line. I pointed out that it didn't cost us any extra to shoot it all, it was only words, and fought to keep the script intact.

Ultimately, they insisted I make a series of cuts on the page. I begrudgingly agreed, but left Nell's speech alone. I made superficial cuts around it, throughout the draft, and even considered changing the font size to fool them into thinking it had gotten shorter (I ultimately was told I wouldn't fool anyone and not to risk starting a war). But Nellie's final goodbye stayed intact.

It must be said - Victoria Pedretti SLAUGHTERED this scene.

By the time we got around to filming it, things had never been worse for the production. There was almost nothing left for a lot of us. Tensions were sky-high, resources had been exhausted completely, and we were all ready to give up.

Filming in the mold-ridden Red Room was depressing, morose, and led to a lot of arguments and unpleasantness. The room itself just felt gross, always, and we were in there for days at a time. The last thing we had to shoot in there was Nellie's goodbye.

Victoria came to set having to push through pages of monologue, and she did so with captivating bravado. I recall being teary-eyed at the monitor watching her work. And when we finally made it to the last line, I watched her deliver it with... a smile. A sincere, innocent, longing, joyful smile. A smile informed by the sadness, grief, and loss of her own situation, of her own life... but a smile that finds forgiveness and grace after all. Pedretti knew how to say the line, and how that word would work.

And as she said it, I knew it would stay in the show.

Over the years, that sentence has become something of a tagline for The Haunting of Hill House. I'm always a bit mystified and touched when I see people approach me with the line on T-shirts, or even tattooed on their bodies.

I started signing it with autographs back in 2020 after enough fans asked me to. Now it's my go-to when I sign anything related to Hill House.

The line, for me, represents a lot of things.

It's about the insane, chaotic, non-linear experience of making that show. It's about trying to find and hold onto joy, even in the grips of despair.

It's about the way the moments of our lives aren't linear, not really, and how we may be unable to understand them as we exist in their flurry. It's about finding hope, innocence and forgiveness in the final reckoning.

And it's about how, outside of our love for each other, the rest is just... well, it's fleeting. It's colorful. It's overwhelming. It's blinding. It's dancing. And, if we look at it right, it's beautiful. But it's also light. It's tinsel. It flits and dances and falls and fades, it's as light as air. The rest is the stuff that falls around us, and flits away into nothing.

It's the love that stays, though.

#horror #movies

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lonelybob · 3 years ago

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Mike Flanagan is now on Tumblr!

Katy and I had an amazing time at the Stanley. Miss it already but glad to be home!

Okay I figured out how to allow replies

#horror #movies

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lonelybob · 3 years ago

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#horror #podcasts

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lonelybob · 4 years ago

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First Vaccine Jab - Complete - Update: 2nd Jab - Complete

After months of waiting with anticipation I was finally able to get the first vaccine jab on July 3rd at a company organized vaccination drive in Tokyo. A bit about the company vaccination drives in Japan: The Japanese government opening up the option for companies to apply and provide vaccines to their employees, family members, and the community where they work is a game changer for those who are under 65 and have been eagerly waiting for an option to be able to get vaccinated. Before this option Vaccinations have been only available to 65+ age group for months in Japan, with a frustratingly slow roll out of vaccines to the wider population. Timelines or estimate schedules for expanding access to vaccines has been disorganized and lacking in information to say the least. Company provided vaccination drives work well for large companies with 1,000+ employees who also happen to have doctor’s on staff to give the jabs or the ability to hire doctors (these are some of the requirements for a company to hold a vaccination drive); however for small-medium sized companies that don’t have access to doctors or the resources to plan a vaccination drive it is still challenging to provide vaccines for employees. This is the case for my company with less than 40 employees wondered what the company vaccination options would mean. I was pleasantly surprised to receive an E-mail on Saturday from my companies CEO sharing information about a vaccination drive being organized by an organization that my company is members of. The organization (ICC Summit Kyoto) had applied and been approved for 1,000 vaccines for a vaccination drive for their employees, and opened up appointments for company members of their organization. I quickly jumped at the chance, and submitted my details for an appointment. I was glad I did, because the available slots filled up by Sunday night, had I not registered I would still be waiting haplessly for the Japanese government to expand vaccination appointments to my age group. The Vaccine Drive was split into 2 weekends, 500 people per day. People with appointments could check their name on the list of appointments for which day their appointment was, and an estimate time period to come to the vaccination site to start waiting. My appointment was in the second weekend group. On the day of my vaccination I arrived early (recommended especially with rainy season delaying trains), found the office building where the vaccination drive was taking place, then grabbed a take out Cafe Latte from a nearby Tully’s and waited at a nearby bench outdoors until it was my time slot. When the time came, I returned to the office building where several volunteer organizers were waiting to greet people. A volunteer checked my forms were filled in, then waited in a zig zag line like at an amusement park. After about 15 minutes I came up to the front of the line, checked my appointment time matched approximately, my temperature was checked then written down onthe pre-screening questionnaire by a vaccination drive member. After that I waited a couple minutes before a group of 4 was ushered to the building elevator and brought up to the 4th floor office. In the office I followed the line to a table where my ID was checked to match my documents. Then proceeded to the next line waiting for a doctor to check the pre-screening questionnaire. When you get up to the doctor, they will check the questions you filled in and ask you a couple of the questions from the form. After reviewing the questionnaire the doctor signs the form, and I moved onto the vaccine doctor. The vaccination was quick and painless (like a little pinch), the doctor puts a Stamp with the Vaccine Lot. # on the Record of Vaccination document. This document is your proof/verification that you received a vaccine and includes the Vaccine Lot # in case there are unexpected issues or you have questions later on. You bring the Record of Vaccination document when you get the second jab, and a second sticker will be placed on the form which is proof of your full vaccination. After receiving the vaccine jab, you go sit down for about 15 minutes to make sure there are no unexpected reactions or problems with your body responding to the jab. After 15 minutes, I got up thanked a Vaccine Drive organizer watching over us and headed out the door taking the stairs down to the first floor then headed back home on the train. In 4 weeks time looking forward to do it again, getting the 2nd jab and finally vaccinated! Things to Bring to your vaccination: - A Photo ID: such as your Resident Card, Driver’s License, or Passport. - Your Health Insurance Card - Wear a proper mask (not clothing-style and not plastic/urethane masks). If you don’t have a proper mask on the day, buy one at a nearby pharmacy or convenience store. - Wear clothing that your upper arm is accessible, such as a T-shirt or sleeveless shirt. 1. Preparation for vaccination a. Preparation of inoculation record Record of Vaccination for COVID-19 document: https://www.mhlw.go.jp/content/000744276.pdf Each person should print it out, fill in only three lines: name, address, and date of birth, and bring it with you. The other parts will be filled in by the doctor. Print one sheet per person. This is a very important document. Please keep it in a clear file. When you inoculate the second time, bring this inoculation record with the record of the first inoculation. However, if you have a vaccination ticket (voucher ticket), you do not need to fill in the vaccination record document. Please bring your vaccination ticket. b. Preparation of pre-examination slip Preliminary questionnaire slip PDF https://www.mhlw.go.jp/content/000739379.pdf (Japanese) English Preliminary questionnaire: https://www.mhlw.go.jp/content/000759454.pdf (for reference only) Print the pre-examination questionnaire slips. The Japanese version of the document is required by the health officials and they will take this for record keeping. I suggest filling in the English version, then filling the same information in the Japanese version, since the fields are the same. Bring both language documents on the day of your vaccination, the english (or your native language) for your reference, and the Japanese for submitting. The pre-screening questionnaire is also available in other language on the Japanese Health Ministry page: https://www.mhlw.go.jp/stf/seisakunitsuite/bunya/vaccine_tagengo.html Please fill in the necessary items (DO NOT fill in body temperature field) in the thick frame and bring it with you. It is necessary to fill this for each inoculation. Therefore, it is necessary to print a second copy for the second jab. Although it is a check item on the pre-examination slip, those who have received other vaccinations 13 days before the corona vaccination date cannot be vaccinated. Frequently asked questions on the pre-examination slip are as follows. Q: Do you fill in the body temperature before the vaccination in the upper right? A: Please do not fill in the temperature. Measure your temperature at the vaccination site on the day, it will be filled in by a vaccination site member or doctor. Q: How should I fill in the second question item, "I don't have a vaccination coupon/voucher." A: You can leave it blank. No description required. Q: How to submit Vaccination voucher/coupon? A: If you are unable to submit the vaccination voucher/ticket on the day of the vaccination (because the vaccination voucher was not yet distributed by your local government), please send it to the company by August 20, 2021. Details will be sent later after vaccination.

UPDATE: Aug, 5th, 2021

Vaccine Voucher/coupon:

I finally received my Vaccine Voucher on July 26th from the city hall in Urawa, Saitama area. The Vaccine Voucher includes a number that can be used to book a COVID-19 vaccination appointment at a local doctor’s office or vaccination site run by the prefecture government, but for my age group the vaccination coupon could not be used until after August to reserve an appointment in Saitama. Another option in this case could be to use the Vaccine Voucher to reserve an appointment at one of the large scale Tokyo vaccination sites run by the Self Defense Force, however everyone in Tokyo is lining up and competing for appointments at those sites as well. Which as I mentioned above, is why I’m glad I was able to get an appointment through a company organized vaccination drive.

Vaccination 2nd Jab:

On Saturday, July 31 I got my second Moderna vaccine jab at the ICC company organized vaccination drive. The process was pretty much the same as the first time, so I won’t repeat the details already described above.

A couple of differences this time, the lines were shorter so the speed of going through the check-in process and screening questionnaire went quicker, not sure why maybe because the first vaccine people came late so there was a back up in the lines or maybe because there was slow down at one of the steps (temperature check, or questionnaire screening, or getting the vaccine jab itself). In any case, the lines were shorter this time, so it went quick and smoothly to get vaccinated. Also the Dr who reviewed my screening questionnaire this time spoke english, I didn’t have any questions to ask him, but it was nice of him to ask if I preferred english or Japanese, and then have him review the questions in english.

The first vaccine jab I didn’t have much noticeable side effects, just pain in my arm where the shot was given which is normal. For the 2nd jab I experienced more side effects, from around 24 - 36 hours after the jab I had a fever and developed a headache after a while. I laid in bed and took naps on and off, and drank Aquarius sports drinks to stay hydrated. My fever went up to about 100 degrees Fahrenheit (37.8 Celsius) at the peak. These are normal potential side effects of the 2nd vaccination, and the following morning when I woke up the headache was gone and fever was down. Just sharing my experience with the side effects for anecdotal reference.

Note: This was my experience with getting the vaccine jab in Japan, your experience may differ depending on the vaccination site and organization.

#health #Japan #coronavirus #japanese #Healthcare

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lonelybob · 4 years ago

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Here is an insightful Twitter Thread by Resident Evil Super Fan, @cvxfreak Alex Aniel, on travel advice if you are an American living abroad and are thinking of going back to the US for a COVID-19 vaccine. Re-posted below for those who are not on Twitter:

If you're American in Japan thinking of going to the US for a vaccine, please read this thread for travel advice if you decide this is the best choice for you. Please ensure you research the topic thoroughly from multiple sources before making any decisions.

As of January, boarding a flight to the US requires a negative COVID-19 test 3 days before the flight. The requirements aren't as stringent as Japan's; you only need to produce a negative PCR test result so the airline lets you board the flight; you need to sign an attestation.

Don't bother with overpriced clinics that will rapid test you for ¥30,000 and charge you ¥5000 for a negative certificate. The Kinoshita group in Tokyo charges ¥2500 for a simple emailed result the next day. This was accepted when I flew to the US on March 26, without any issue.

Check your destination regarding isolation following your arrival in advance. AFAIK, there isn't any strict enforcement, but it's advised to distance from others unless they're vaccinated. Conduct yourself in the US as you would in Japan; wear masks and social distance.

Check your destination's mechanism for booking COVID-19 vaccines in advance, including your eligiblity as per local/state government rules. Do not lie about your eligibility. Most should be eligible in mid-April at the earliest (versus summer or later in Japan).

In California, you must use the MyTurn website. Not sure about other states, but MyTurn geoblocks foreign IP addresses, so use a VPN. Check for availability at 16:00JST (midnight in CA).

Currently, you can get shots from Pfizer, Moderna or Johnson & Johnson in the US. Availability varies by location. (Currently Japan has only authorized Pfizer.) All 3 are safe to take and normally it shouldn't matter which you choose. However...

Pfizer and Moderna are 2-dose vaccines with 21- and 28-day gaps between doses, respectively. This means, when taking into account Japan's 14-day quarantine requirement for returnees, that once you go to the US, you should be prepared to stay for the duration between both doses.

If you take Pfizer/Moderna, wait 2~3 days after 2nd dose before flying back to Japan in case you develop severe side effects. J&J is single dose and convenient for tighter schedules. But unlike Moderna, there's no clear info on its eventual authorization in Japan that I've seen.

You still need a negative COVID PCR or antigen test 72 hours before flying to Japan regardless of vaccination status. Carefully check the requirements to avoid being denied boarding. https://www.mofa.go.jp/ca/fna/page25e_000334.html

One may wonder about catching COVID while flying. IMO, the chances aren't high. Planes have high-grade filtration, masks are required and flights aren't full. (-) test is needed and most pax are US military, who may be vaccinated already. But the risk is NOT zero, so beware!

You must be very careful once you land, as airports are tough to socially distance in. Try to get out of the airport ASAP. Use Global Entry if you have it; pack little luggage. Fly direct if you can; otherwise transit a low infection location like Seoul or Taipei.

If direct isn't an option, perhaps get your vaccine in the transit city to avoid a domestic flight, which is bound to be more crowded. Cities w/ direct flights from HND&NRT: SEA, SFO, LAX, HNL, JFK, DFW, ORD From HND only: ATL, DTW, IAD, IAH From NRT only: BOS, EWR, SAN, GUM

Uber & Lyft drivers take COVID-19 precautions, so they aren't likely to expose you to infection (and vice versa). Roll the window down for good measure.

At the vaccine site, you may be asked to show your insurance. My understanding is uninsured people get the vaccine for free. It's extremely unlikely JP insurance will be recognized, so you may have to say you're uninsured. (If you have expat insurance, it might be accepted)

Most sites may schedule you to take the 2nd dose 21/28 days later at the same site, so plan accordingly if you need to relocate during the period between doses (i.e. from the transit city to your main destination)

Remember: US COVID transmission is magnitudes higher than Japan. Uninsured medical care is extremely expensive–buy travel insurance (check for COVID coverage) before you go! Consider your work/family/health situation before deciding. </end>

<Post-Tweet DLC> Worth mentioning that Japan initially barred foreigners, even w/ residence status, from returning. While that rule isn't in effect currently, it's theoretically possible it could be reinstated in response to a sudden wave, natural disaster, war, etc.

Plan for a scenario in which you may be unable to return due to circumstances beyond your control. </End Post-Tweet DLC>

Via: https://twitter.com/cvxfreak/status/1376773180208021505

#health #Healthcare #coronavirus #Japan

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