lontrain

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they dont tell you this but like half of adulthood is just washing the same FUCKING pan

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i want a cute planner but i literally don’t do anything

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cat with creature :)

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By Lynda Barry  May 2016

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I love you paladins I love you knights I love you sword and shield brawlers I love you intimate healing I love you warriors with a code I love you unbearable weight of expectations I love you longing for the quiet life you gave up so others may have it I love you fighting to the last breath I love you doing the right thing I love you doing the wrong thing and spending the rest of your days dealing with the consequences I love you hubris I love you god complex I love you plate armor

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cat 2021. drawn for a viewer in my twitch stream

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Shadowheart and Lae'zel

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forever haunted by hozier's face when he sings "put me back in it" (and by haunted i mean i'm clawing my eyes out)

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Isabela | Dragon age 2 | M O O D |

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By Lynda Barry  May 2016

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the unwanted guest made an unrepairable damage to my soul

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it's free real estate

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Like. To Gideon, love is sacrificing yourself for someone else. It’s violence, especially violence enacted upon the self for another’s benefit. It is objectifying oneself, making your body a tool of another. Love is a baby having oxygen its mother doesn’t have. It’s the Ninth’s endless devotion to Harrow. It’s Jeannemary screaming for Isaac, even though he’s already dead and going back would only kill her. It’s Palamedes blowing up to kill Cyth. And that’s why she makes the choice she does, why she has to go nuclear. She can’t express love except as violence, as sacrifice. And then to have this sacrifice so universally rejected is to have her love rejected. She feels dumped.

But Harrow didn’t feel loved when Gideon did it. She felt alone, and vulnerable, her parents swinging for the greater good. Her house’s future destroyed, all to keep Alecto in her tomb, a tombkeeper necromancer of Anastasia’s line. The first flower of her house, dead, for Harrow, again, who has said that she can never be enough to justify it. Harrow feels too keenly the injustice to be able to accept that sacrifice. She can never justify what has happened, so her work must be to remedy it, however poorly. Thus, the puppets, the need to be a lyctor, and thus, the lobotomy. They’re all too-small measures, they don’t solve the wounds, but she must do something because she can’t bear the weight of the entirety of fucking Pluto on her shoulders.

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first flower of my house ect

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Anastasia is THE ghost haunting the lockedtomb narrative. Failed the lyctor trials because she could not bear to ask her cavalier, someone she loved, to die for her. Her punishment for that act was to be asked to guard the tomb and die for Alecto, who swore a cavalier oath to her quietly in the cold dark. Anastasia was too human and Alecto wasn’t human enough and so they got sent into the dark together to waste away. And she died. But she’s the only Cavalier whose name is remembered by her house!!!!! The Ninth was never supposed to exist but carried on and on for a Myriad because of the resilience and love and devotion Anastasia, the only human on the Mithraeum, had for the world.

All of her descendants have to be necromancers because that’s what love is, and that’s what god is: someone has to pass the candle to the next one forever. Anastasia died for Alecto, so now all her descendants have to LIVE for her. That promise is too much to ask of anyone. It’s what kept the Ninth House and their memory alive in the face of the negligence of god himself, but it’s also a curse. Anastasia’s oath is what dooms Harrowhark into being a war crime since her birth, it’s Gideon dying for Harrow because she doesn’t know how to live for her, but it’s also what made baby Harrow sneak down into the tomb and see Alecto and decide that she wanted to live…..love is god and love is a curse and god is a promise to endure made between a fallen angel and a failed disciple sent to languish in a tomb ten thousand years before the story even began. and they were both girls