lookinggoodjohn

[lookinggoodjohn]

Writer: *Accidentally mentions that they write*

Family: “Oh show us something you’ve written!”

Writer:

alternatively to my last post 😂

[lookinggoodjohn]

me, a supposed writer, when i can’t find the very specific scenario i made up in my head in any fanfic: am i- am i supposed to write it myself??

[lookinggoodjohn]

Hey you. Yeah you. Fanfic author over there thinking their work isn't good enough to be published. Your work is amazing, it's so creative, whether it has 100 words, 10k words or 100k words, your work is amazing.

Your creativity knows no limit, your creativity is so appriciated, it's so very much loved, you're going to do great things with your writing abilities, it's unique, it's uniquely you, it's a little piece of your soul being put on display and your readers ADORE you for it.

You are adored by your readers, you are loved by your readers you are worth the whole world, we love you, we love you like the stars shine on a clear night's sky.

Cut yourself some slack, don't burn yourself out, and remind yourself that you are worth every bit of what joy you give others.

[lookinggoodjohn]

Born This Way

Pairing: Reader x Winter Soldier

Summary: You were the one that got away from Hydra’s spell. 

Word Count: 1.4K

Warnings: Trauma, self harm

Death Siren, born to serve as a weapon. After having trauma dealing with her past gone mute. If you see this woman shoot tranquilizers don’t give time for her to react. Needed alive, reward is life. 

You rolled your eyes at all the news announcements for your arrest. It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t know it was wrong and that you were a powerful weapon. However, you knew it was just for show to not worry the world if they were going to do something about you. They wouldn’t kill you, because you had an in with the head of SHIELD. He adopted you after your dad died. You were technically old enough to go out on your own, but being in hydra your whole life kind of messed with your maturing. Since you have the serum running through your veins you still look like you’re sixteen. It made dating hard. Not like you wanted to date. After what his men did to you at the base the idea of relationships was repulsive. 

You walked through the compound jamming music. Even though you were mute, you could still hear. No matter what people think. If you could laugh you would when people think that you definitely would. You loved to dance, it was like how you were able to communicate with the world. Before your mom died, your mom taught you ballet and after she died you expanded your lessons to other types of dance. You were dancing through the base they had you in to keep you away from people. You were dancing and making food when you suddenly turned around and saw people watching you.

 “Who are you? Wait, aren’t you-What are you doing here?” The man rested his hand on his gun. You slapped your face and ran it down slowly then looked at the man again. You made a hand signal that was the universal sign for stop and pointed to your throat. “Are you threatening me?” You shook your head and ran over to the counter looking for a paper. “Don’t move.” You shook him off and found a pen and paper on the counter. You quickly wrote on the paper: I can’t speak. I’m mute. He read it without moving his hand from his gun. You went over to the stove and turned it off. You scooped out your Mac and cheese into a bowl and got one for him. You offered it to him and nodded for him to sit down. He just stood there and you were starting to become helpless when more people came in. “Great” you thought. 

Then you saw him in the crowd and you relaxed and waved to him as if explaining what had happened. He divided the crowd and saw what was going on. “Damn it.” He sighed. He wanted to keep you a secret for a little while longer. “Well I didn’t want you to meet her so soon, but since someone doesn’t know how to lay low I guess you met her,” he rolled his eyes and waved his hand at you.

 Now it was your move, you rolled your eyes back and gestured to him to suck your dick. You turned away from him and flipped him off as you walked away. “Really mature Ro,” he exhaled and you shrugged. He looked at the team waiting for some kind of explanation. He looked at them and gave up. “I’m out, I hate teenagers,” he threw his hands up. Jarvis came over the speaker: Miss Death would like you to fuck off and you to suck her dick. You little bitch. “RO WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT USING JARVIS TO CURSE AT ME YOU LITTLE SHIT! I swear imma kill that girl,” he mumbled the last part. Loud enough everyone around could hear him though. He didn’t really care, he just walked away. 

You went into the training room. You loved Fury, but he wasn’t much of a talker. You knew that coming in, so instead of standing around alone you’ve just been spending a lot of time training. You loved to train, it got you out of the reality of everything, of what you’ve gone through. It was a good distraction. It didn’t challenge you though, you’ve trained your whole life with rooms like this so your endurance overpowered any of the equipment. So you might’ve asked a favor to get a vibranium punching bag. 

Ever since it was your new best friend. You punched that thing till your knuckles bleed and you could see the bones of your fingers. You did it everyday so it didn’t hurt, but it was just enough where you could feel a sting. It seemed to make everything feel better. You beat all over the past out of your system till you decided you had enough. 

You heard someone walk in but you figured it was Agent Hill coming to tell you that it's time to eat or tell you the schedule for the day, so you kept at the punching bag. You were forsaken. You’ve never seen this man before he stepped in and you heard him talk to someone down the hall making it known to you that it wasn’t Agent Hill. 

You spun around and saw there were now two guys who entered the room. There was a man standing there leaning against the doorway and the other man you recognized was the first to walk in on you this morning. The man that had previously made you known nodded to the other as if reading his mind. He must have noticed the quizzical look on his friend’s face as he looked at you.

“This is the new girl her name is…Actually I never asked,” he looked at you unsure how you were going to answer but you took your computer out and it said it for you. My name is Caro but everyone calls me Ro. However, Fury calls me little shit. The two men seemed to like that since they both laughed. Someone walked past the training room then walked backwards and came in. “Ah, there you are. I’ve been meaning to introduce myself since Fury was so rude not to. I’m Tony Stark, capsicle here is Steve and the bird brain is Sam. I’ve heard a lot about you and have so many questions,” this man seemed to almost praise you. You furrowed your eyebrows. Never in your life have you had someone be so eager to talk to you, usually they are terrified. “Tony slow down, relax on the girl.” You smiled. Well Tony, you are to be greatly disappointed. I was never taught much but to kill and my knowledge is limited to the books I could find. Sorry but, I have never been known to be much of a people person. So, would you all would excuse me, I have to wrap up and bandage my hand before I get yelled at again for not caring for myself and other shit I don’t give a fuck about.

A week went by in a hurry. Everyone seemed to adjust to you. They seemed to understand that you were a reserved person. Although you didn’t mind them leaning on you in the mornings when you all sat around the compound. They came to accept you, even though you didn't think you deserved it. However, one thing stayed the same, Agent Hill was still your personal assistant.

 “Ah, Ro I’ve been looking for you. Remember your therapist is awaiting you at five and you have dance practice right after,” she informed you and put your stuff up cleaning after you. You stood up and left to go to your appointment since it was ten till five. You hated seeing doc. You refuse to even use her name. Everyone hated her style but she got it done.

 “Caro, nice to see you are on time today. How are you?” She asked plainly, everything about her was plain. You shrugged. You “talked” for a little while later when she hit you with what she wanted to get out of this session. “Well I know that it’s going to be difficult with more people around and not being able to talk, so I thought maybe I could teach you how to again.” You swore your eyes were bulging out of your head and you might’ve pinched yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming. There was almost nothing more that you wanted

[lookinggoodjohn]

Love isn’t Real

Pairing: Reader x Avengers

Summary: You love everyone, and wish the best. However when it comes to true love, you believe it's a choice between freedom and being a puppet on a string. So you chose not to love, but that’s not how it works.

Word Count: 1.5K(stay tuned for part two.)

Warnings: Mentions of rape, abuse, torture

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have chosen him to fall in love with?!” She looked at you completely confused. “ Do you really believe I would’ve chosen that upon myself? You are so fantasized. You can not tell reality from your perfect life plan. One day you’ll realize that you can’t choose and in the end you need to love that person because you will only hurt more in the end denying it. You’ll never be able to tell them you love them or admit to yourself you love them, and you are going to suffer.” She scolded you while tears flew down her face. “Whatever, you know I am right. Now stop crying. It’s not a big deal, we all knew the risk going in.” She just rolled her eyes and walked out.

*70ish years later*

The key to doing her job was to compromise on occasion, but when that wasn't possible, “it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say no, you move.” She smirked as if she was proud of herself for quoting her aunt.You tried not to roll your eyes but, she just exhausted you so much you couldn’t help it. She was a wannabe but no one could replace Pegs, although you were the only one who seemed to notice. Even her star-spangled man is wrapped around the little copy cat’s finger. I mean good for her though, she pulled the man with the giant metal frisbee in her trap. Even thinking of it made you nauseous, before she could say or do anything else you stood up and stormed out, a little louder than you were expecting. 

*Your phone rang*

“Hello?” You answered confused over the fact he was calling you. He never calls unless necessary, otherwise it's texts saying to stay safe or asking what you’re up to. I mean he is your Dad-well he adopted me but it’s the same difference. He has the right to call but it’s just strange and it caught you off guard. “Y/n,” he asked to reassure he was calling the right person. (He tends to do it more than you would think.) “Yeah Dad it’s me, what’s up?” You reassured him. “Can you come home? I know with the loss of Peggy and everything but we need you here.” We? You thought. “Are you sure? I have to go up in the city anyways for help with a session. I’ll pack and be there in 10 minutes if you are sure this is what you want,” you are starting to ramble on. “That sounds perfect. I can’t disclose it all since I am charged by minutes but I’ll tell you as soon as you get here,” whatever he needs it must be important. “Okay  I’m on my way. Love you bye!” You said as you went to hang up and you heard a faint, “love you.” You pondered what he could possibly need but you got ready and headed his way. 

“Love you? I didn’t know you had that in your vocabulary,” the man chuckled at the fact. “Fury said love you? When? What did I miss?” The red-head said teasing. “Over the phone, I heard it. Who’s the lucky gal?” The man asked overflowing with curiosity. “If you certainly must know-oh I must,” the man interrupted Fury. Fury rolled his eyes then said,”my daughter, I called her to ask her to come home and help.” The man stood shocked. Everyone was in the conversation now commenting that they didn’t know he had a daughter and what help she could bring and why he never told anyone. “Wait, little Lei is coming to visit? Finally! I missed her so much and was tired of not being able to make contact with her. Does that mean she’s back on the grid for awhile?” The red-head who is usually more relaxed and sarcastic became giddy. “Wait Nat, you knew?” Her best friend asked but everyone had the same question in mind.  “I mean yeah. Lei and I were close while she was here, but she had to be sent off to train where she could learn and not hurt anyone. I used to visit her but she’s been off the grid for years.,” Nat explained and answered some of their unasked questions. “Yes, I have a daughter, I adopted her a while back. Yes, Nat got me to sign the adoption papers. We need her, she is skilled in many different areas that could help us right about now. I didn’t bring her up sooner because for a while I didn’t know who to trust and she was deep undercover in hydra and other missions. We put her there since she can go easily undetected and since there are no records of her, anywhere,” Fury sighed as he answered all their questions.  “So when is she getting here? We have so much to catch up on,” Nat was filled with utter excitement now. “Wait you said Lei? You mean Lorelei? I knew her because she was one of the leading commanders of my troop. She is the most caring and protective person I’ve ever met,” he praised you. “She just wants no one to go through what she had to.” Nat agreed. 

*The doorbell rang*

Jarvis opened the door without even asking and revealed you quickly shutting your computer and taking the wires off the security box. “Hey, miss me yet?” You asked as you set your stuff down and rolled your wheelchair in. Nat came forward for a hug and you tried to go for a fist bump but she ignored it and hugged you anyways. “I thought I’d truly never see you again,” Nat said finally as you let her go and went for a side hug with Fury. “Well you can’t get rid of me that easily,” you grinned and everyone backed up to reveal all the new faces. “Well looks like you’ve gathered up quite the recruits, huh dad?,” you nudged your father a bit and continued, “I suspect you have never heard of me since this guy is such a people person. My name is Karma but my friends call me Lorelei or Lei,” you took a breath wondering if you should tell them why you can’t stand. You decided against it. “Now since that is settled you can meet the team. However, I know you are exhausted and you haven’t slept in two weeks. You can meet the team when you wake up. Jarvis can give you the rundown on all the advancements since you were last on the grid. Can someone show her to her room?” Fury finished and left without reason why he couldn’t do it himself. You look around and cross your arms not knowing what to do. “I-I can find it,” you  half waved and headed in what you thought would be the right direction and you could hear people shuffling around out of the room. Someone grabbed your hand and you were met with the walking flag. “Your room is this way, let me show you,” you nodded, “I’m Steve by the way.” You looked at the walking flag, you saw the sincerity in his eyes. You followed Steve to this cute room painted in your favorite color and you chuckled a bit. “He did not,” you laughed a little more when you saw your favorite stuffed animal as a kid on your bed. You went to your bed and grabbed it. “Max!” You stumbled off your wheelchair and laid on the bed. You look over at the super soldier on the other side of the room. He had a little smirk tilting his head a bit. “Okay, okay don’t say it.” You smirked at the thought and you waved your hand and said, “ My dad has good intentions but he treats me like a little kid. Which I come to admit is nice to feel that way sometimes after all I’ve been through he still thinks of me as his little angel…Even after everything,” you paused and you felt your heart become heavy. You took your bag from Steve and threw it on your bed and grabbed his hand as you got on your wheelchair and led him. “Follow me.”

You took Steve to your favorite spot in the whole wide world and it was just as you remembered. You let go of Steve’s hand to take it all in. The trees, animals, and the sound of the birds was all you needed. You could feel Steve taking in the beauty behind you but you held back your tears long enough. You could feel Steve’s concerned look staring at you but you still stared outwards. “You know sometimes I would go here and just be one with the air, where nothing mattered and I could just breathe.” Steve nodded and you waved your hand and you both walked back going to the common room. “Ah, there you are Steve. I wanted to tell you right away.” Nat was talking excitedly. “We have Bucky.”

[lookinggoodjohn]

sunshine

synopsis - bucky’s therapist tells him to get out of the house more and he meets the human embodiment of sunshine.

warnings - smut, tooth rotting fluff, dom/sub dynamics, oral male & female receiving, spanking unprotected sex, mentions of PTSD, pet names, bucky struggling with his mental health

a/n - i really left yall hanging for MONTHS. if you read this at all i am thankful because if i was my own reader i would ignore this post out of spite lol. critiques are welcome since I haven’t written in so long. replies, reblogs, & likes are appreciated!! :)

masterlist

wc: 5k ish

The rain outside pelted against Bucky’s leather jacket loudly. He groaned and stepped into a nearby library to escape the less than ideal weather. He welcomed the warmth that enveloped him.

He looked around for a moment, it seemed like he was the only person in here. Stepping into the dark library felt like switching dimensions in comparison to the loud bustling streets of New York, add in the incessant rain and it was a nightmare out there in the real world.

Bucky wiped his feet on the rug before stepping fully inside the library. He didn’t have anywhere to be, he was really only out because his therapist thought he was getting a bit too comfortable in isolation. Of course, that was true, however, he still despised having to interact with innocent people he had the potential to hurt.

The library was dimly lit and had books from floor to ceiling. There were even miscellaneous piles of books scattered around his feet on the floor. All of the colors that surrounded him were neutrals but they felt so comforting and inviting. The library he stepped into was cozy and he had no qualms about being trapped here while the rain poured outside.

Deciding to make the most of his time, Bucky walked toward the nonfiction section. He loved reading books that had anything pertaining to the military, it was something that had stuck with him through his childhood and into adulthood. He slipped into the narrow aisle and scanned down the shelves.

His fingers gently grazed the spines of the aging books in front of him. Bucky was slowly relaxing into the silence that the library provided for him.

His apartment wasn’t the safe haven to him that it once was, it was now a place haunted by the nightmares that were slowly consuming him. Here in the library though, his demons couldn’t find him.

“Excuse me, sir,” a small voice said apologetically as they squeezed by him.

Bucky moved his focus from the books in front of him to the woman that was now browsing right next to him. She had her long light brown hair flowing down her back and a bit messy from the rain. The skirt she was wearing was black and entirely too short for the weather they were currently having, but the cream sweater with the Polo logo on it somewhat made up for the shortcomings of her skirt.

Bucky’s first thought was His apartment wasn’t the safe haven to him that it once was, it was now a place haunted by the nightmares that were slowly consuming him. Here in the library though, his demons couldn’t find him.

“Excuse me, sir,” a small voice said apologetically as they squeezed by him.

Bucky moved his focus from the books in front of him to the woman that was now browsing right next to him. She had her long light brown hair flowing down her back and a bit messy from the rain. The skirt she was wearing was black and entirely too short for the weather they were currently having, but the cream sweater with the Polo logo on it somewhat made up for the shortcomings of her skirt.

He moved his attention away from the doe-eyed girl that was a little too close to him and refocused on the combat books in front of him. Funnily enough, the books about violence were distracting him from his fears of violence.

It took a few moments, but Bucky’s anxiety slowly trickled off until it was nothing but a dull ache in his chest.

That was until the pretty girl smiled at him, “Hi.”

Her tone was warm and kind and she was obviously inviting Bucky to have a conversation with her while they shared the aisle of old books so intimately.

His eyes widened slightly but he quickly took his composure back from the perfect girl in front of him that seemed to be stealing it.

“Hey,” he almost cringed as soon as he said it. His voice was much too rough in comparison to the gentle tone she was using to speak to him.

“Do you read a lot of nonfiction?” Her head cocked cutely to the side which made his heart beat a little faster.

“On the rare occasion I pick up a book, yes,” he answered after a beat of silence. He was mentally high fiving himself at such a collected response considering the effect she was having on him.

“I’m grabbing some of the old medical journals for some of my writing,” she answered the question without being prompted.

“What do you write?”

“I mostly do romance but my latest idea has been murder-mystery.”

“Oh, so you’re a novelist?” Bucky was beginning to feel more comfortable with the conversation now. The girl in front of him now felt like a breath of fresh air rather than a suffocating hand around his throat.

“Not exactly a superhero, but it pays the bills,” her smile was infectious and Bucky couldn’t help but grin.

“What’s your name?” He leaned back against the shelf behind him.

“I’m Amelia. But most of my friends call me Milly,” she answered him without breaking her gaze.

Amelia was very confident it seemed. But, not in a cocky way, her confidence was kindness. She radiated an energy that could only be described as pure gold.

“I’m Bucky,” he told her.

“I know. I saw you on the news last night, you save the world a lot it seems.”

Her comment made the tip of his ears burn red, “I guess you could say that.”

“Don’t be so modest. I think it’s cool, you’re like a real life comic book character,” her flattery was like ten arrows pointed straight at Bucky’s anxiety, slowly dwindling it down to a tiny stump that sat in the base of his stomach instead of the huge tree that once took over his entire body.

“You’re acting like you don’t have the coolest job in the world,” he rolled his eyes playfully at her, “You’re the one who gets to make the comic book characters.”

Their conversation continued and they slowly migrated over to the leather chairs in the corner of the room. They sat down next to each other and he told her his war stories while she took little sips of her coffee.

Every small movement she made, every little flip of her hair, all of her crossing and uncrossing of her legs, enticed Bucky even further into her spell.

“I love the rain,” Amelia said to him after he complained about the horrific weather, “It’s so pretty and calming.”

It confused him how she could find violent thunderstorms calming.

“The only reason I even walked into this library was to get away from the mess outside,” he replied back while looking through one of the windows to see that the precipitation had slowed down to a gentle mist now.

“Well if there was no rain, you would’ve never met me,” she smiled at him.

They had been talking for at least two hours by this point, but it felt like only twenty minutes. Everything was so easy with Milly. Conversation was like an ever flowing river with her, it just was so smooth and easy.

All he could feel was her energy, not the pain of his past, just her. For two hours, what happened to him fifty years ago was just that, the past.

She was pure light. She radiated warmth, she was what made flowers grow, she was what supported life on Earth, she was the sunshine.

Bucky looked down to check his watch and noticed the time. His eyes widened a little bit and he glanced back up at Milly who was happily chatting about her cats Moose and Sushi.

“Am I talking too much?” She suddenly stopped and looked down at her lap shyly.

“No! Of course not,” he quickly reassured her, “It’s just, it’s getting late.”

“Oh,” she said, a little disheartened he was finished talking to her.

“How about dinner?” Bucky didn’t even think about what he was saying until it was out of his mouth. It was very spur of the moment and he wish he could go back in time and think about the consequences that might come of taking her out.

“Dinner?” She repeated back as if she hadn’t heard him.

“Yeah, I know this great Thai place a few blocks down,” he smiled at her trying to tamper down his own racing thoughts.

Her pale pink nails clicked against the now empty coffee cup in her hand as she thought, “That sounds great.”

The pair stood up and Bucky took notice of the cloudy sky no longer pouring rain. He almost smiled at the thought of how long they had been talking. Not one notion of violence or hurting her had crossed his mangled brain.

They stepped out of the library and into the street. Without thinking, Bucky grabbed her hand and guided her down the street.

Milly hoped he didn’t notice the pink tint on her cheeks and trembling hands.

The duo were both lost in their own thoughts about one another and walked in silence while the world around them moved at an impossible pace.

Bucky stopped at a door on the corner of the street that Milly had always assumed was abandoned.

“I’ve never been here before,” she commented to him as he opened the door for her.

“I don’t know many people who have,” he chuckled.

No one greeted them but that didn’t seem to bother Bucky who led her to a booth in the corner without any guidance from the staff.

Milly slipped into the booth first and Bucky very surprisingly sat on the same side she did.

Bucky was testing himself. He wanted to see how far he could go without any thoughts or flashbacks to the life he used to live.

Their shoulders touched and he basked in the warmth she brought him, both physically and metaphorically.

He looked down at her and she was trapped in his unwavering gaze. Her lips parted and Bucky’s heart hammered loudly in his chest. They didn’t speak, they just drank each other in like sweet wine.

“Can I take your order?” A woman with a thick British accent interrupted them.

Bucky’s head whipped around and Milly was ripped from her trance with him. Their picture perfect bubble had burst.

He cleared his throat quickly, “Sorry, um, yes I think we’ll both have the chicken pad thai and some water.”

The waitress chewed her gum loudly while writing down the order and Bucky offered her a small smile.

“Sorry, I just sort of guessed on what you would want,” Bucky said almost sheepishly.

“I like chicken pad thai,” Amelia responded back with a smile.

He locked eyes with her again, “Do you think you want to do this again tomorrow?”

She laughed cutely at him, “We aren’t even done with today.”

“I think it’s gonna go well.”

His confidence almost shocked her. All day it felt like he was walking on eggshells but now she felt like she was getting all of him, not just the parts he felt like showing. The thought made her stomach flutter.

Their meal went on with lots of flirtation. Knees touching and hushed giggles were like their own secret language.

When the bill came Bucky deflated. He wasn’t ready to give up the sunshine yet.

He put his card down and the waitress came back with the receipt far too quickly. Bucky felt his time with her winding down and coming to an end.

“Hey,” he blurted out, “Do you want to come to the tower with me?”

“What tower? Like the Empire State Building?”

“The Avenger’s Tower.”

Amelia’s eyes widened, “Are people even allowed in there?”

Bucky’s heart stopping smile appeared once again, “Of course, and now you have an invitation.”

“I don’t want to get you in trouble,” she frowned.

“I won’t get in trouble. Tony’s not even in town this week. I think Steve’s the only person there.”

“It sounds like we would be breaking the rules,” she quirked an eyebrow at him.

He laughed, “It makes it more fun.”

She sighed, “As long as we don’t get caught. I really don’t want to be in trouble with the most powerful men in New York.”

He smiled, “You could never be in trouble with me, doll.”

Amelia could’ve passed out. The dominance that oozed from just that sentence made her head fuzzy and knees weak.

She tried to play it off by rolling her eyes and he laughed again.

Bucky stood up from the booth and reached his hand towards her.

“This time we can take a car to the Tower. It’s probably unbearably cold outside, especially with that skirt on.”

“I’m wearing fleece lined stockings,” she defended.

He tried his hardest to not daydream about what was underneath those stockings.

The pair walked into the windy night of New York. The rain had returned as a mist that made the horizon hazy and gray.

Bucky tucked his dog tags into his long sleeve shirt. Similarly to him, Amelia was struggling not wondering what else he could do with his hands.

A car pulled up to the sidewalk and the two quickly got in.

Bucky brushed some stray rain droplets from his hair and she jumped back and giggled when they landed on her face.

She looked up at him through her eyelashes and he silently wondered how he was going to get through the rest of the night without grabbing her by the neck and kissing the hell out of her.

She smiled up at his now serious and poked his cheek.

“You’re so cute,” he said after she finished her laughing fit.

Her cheeks reddened and her nose scrunched. She really was perfect.

The traffic wasn’t as horrendous as Bucky expected and they made it to the Tower quicker than he thought they would.

She was enamored by the bright lights of the Tower. The glow from the building reflected in her brown eyes like dazzling stars.

“C’mon,” he interrupted her gawking, “I’ll show you around.”

Bucky escorted her out of the SUV and to the front of the building. He remembered feelings just like she did when Steve first brought him here, impossibly small.

“Let’s go in. I promise it’s much more impressive from the inside,” Bucky said to her.

“Are you sure this is allowed?” Milly asked one last time before they went in.

“If I say no will you still come in with me?”

“Bucky,” she whined, “Please don’t get me into any trouble.”

The pout on her lips sent his mind into overdrive. She made it hard for him to form sentences sometimes.

“I won’t,” he regained his composure, “It’ll be fun and if it’s not I’ll take you right back home.”

She begrudgingly agreed and they walked into the glamorous building.

Reinforced glass walls surrounded them and a few employees strolled by without a second glance at her.

“Wow, it’s really pretty in here,” Milly breathed out.

“It’s definitely not the tax bracket I grew up in,” Bucky chuckled.

“Do you guys live here?”

Amelia knew she was being nosy and almost immediately regretted asking. Bucky however didn’t bat an eye and answered her quickly.

“I share a floor with Steve on one of the top levels and Nat sometimes stays here, but that’s it.”

“You have your own coffee shop,” she said pointing to the 24/7 coffee cart situated in the lobby.

“It’s incredibly convenient,” he chuckled, “Do you want to see the upstairs?”

His cheeks turned red, he didn’t want her to have the wrong impression of him. Bucky didn’t want to have some one night stand with her, although he wasn’t opposed to taking her up there and fucking her stupid.

“Sure. What floor are you on?” She asked while walking toward the elevator. Amelia didn’t even catch the innuendo.

“Floor 8,” he stepped on the elevator, “Let me put in the stupid passcode.”

He punched in four digits and rolled his eyes, “Tony is way too serious about security.”

The ride up was quick and relatively quiet. When the doors opened to Bucky’s penthouse suite she audibly gasped.

“Wow. You live here?” Her tone was practically incredulous.

“Have for 3 years now, sweetheart.”

The room was mostly decorated with neutrals except for some artwork on the wall.

Bucky noticed her eyeing it and offered an explanation, “That’s Steve’s contribution, he loves to paint.”

“It’s beautiful here. I would be scared out of my mind to even cook in a kitchen as perfect as this one,” she eyeballed the million dollar penthouse.

“I’ll use that as my excuse the next time Tony scolds us for not eating at home enough,” Bucky joked.

Amelia turned her attention back to him, “Did you say Steve was home earlier?”

“Let me check, he might’ve gone out with Natasha,” he said while walking out of the room and calling out for his flatmate.

When he figured out Steve wasn’t actually home as he originally thought he leaned against the wall. He had barely any time to process that there was a beautiful woman in his apartment. A beautiful woman that he wasn’t scared of harming. Someone who took all of those bad thoughts away from him.

Bucky had never felt this way before. It was the first time in a long time he wasn’t scared of himself.

He sighed in relief at the feeling of not having to worry. It felt like he had just finished the marathon of his life and finally got to sit down when he was around her.

After taking a couple of seconds to process he walked back into the living room to see her sitting on the couch looking at the view of the city.

The wall was glass and it made for a beautiful backdrop in their home. Especially tonight, when the stormy clouds parted just enough to see the full moon.

He went to the kitchen quietly as to not disturb her and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses.

Bucky took a deep breath and strolled towards the couch and sat down. He placed the wine glasses on the table in front of them.

“It’s beautiful out there isn’t it?” She commented.

“Yeah, it’s perfect,” he said, staring at the side of her face.

“I brought some wine if you want any,” Bucky offered while pouring his own glass.

“No thank you, I hate the taste of wine,” she scrunched her nose again.

“I can grab some water or juice for you,” he offered quickly. He felt like a terrible host.

“No, that’s okay,” she finally turned her body towards his.

His breath stopped when he saw her brown eyes gazing into his own. Bucky didn’t even think about it when his hand touched the right side of her neck and he leaned down to kiss her.

She reciprocated quickly and grabbed the bottom of his shirt in her fist as if she didn’t know what to do with her hands.

Their lips moved against each other for a few seconds before he slipped his tongue in her mouth. She sighed into him and pressed herself closer to him.

Bucky picked up her smaller frame and placed her in his lap without breaking the kiss.

Millie straddled him and grabbed the short hair at the base of his neck.

“Fuck, Amelia,” he breathed out when he pulled away.

Her sweet giggle filled the room as their foreheads touched and their chests heaved in unison.

“You're really good at that,” she said, still out of breath.

He chuckled at her, “I wanted to kiss you all night. It’s a surprise I’ve made it this far.”

“Are you gonna stop now?” Milly tilted her head and pouted her lips.

Bucky threw his back and cursed, “You’re making it very hard to be a gentleman right now.”

Amelia kissed a hickey on his neck and leaned in next to his ear, “I’m not asking you to be a gentleman, Bucky.”

It felt like all of the resolve he had left in his body had snapped and he wrapped his calloused hand around the soft skin on her neck. He squeezed the sides of her throat and watched as her eyes took on a glimmer he hadn’t seen before.

Milly challenged him with a smile he wasn’t expecting, “How did you know just what I liked?”

“I never pinned you for a girl who liked to be thrown around,” Bucky’s eyebrow lifted in surprise but the grin remained on his face.

“I never pinned you for a guy who liked to throw girls around,” she returned his smile.

Even with his hand wrapped around the delicate skin of her neck he wasn’t scared of hurting her. Bucky felt fully in control for the first time in a long time.

“Safe word is red, baby.” Bucky smirked after a beat of silence

His hand tightened around her throat once again and he kissed her. Amelia’s hips grinded down against his lap.

Her short skirt slowly started to ride up until Bucky’s hands found the hem and pushed it all the way up.

His hands wandered down from her neck to her hips. Bucky moved her against him. He felt his pants tightening to accommodate how hard he was.

Amelia pulled away from the kiss and leaned her head against his chest as he continued to move her hips against his own. All that could be heard were her shaky moans and the sounds of bucky sucking a trail of hickeys down her neck.

“Not so confident now, huh baby?” He taunted her when he felt her thighs shaking around him.

“Please stop teasing me,” she begged with her eyes squeezed shut.

“Aw, but you look so cute squirming on my lap,” he mocked her.

Gone was Bucky’s almost shy demeanor, now he was domineering and arrogant.

Amelia could feel herself getting wetter by the second, “Please, Bucky. Please fuck me.”

“Only because you sound so sweet when you beg.”

Bucky moved her and stood up from his position on the couch. He took his black shirt off and let it fall to the ground.

He almost groaned when he saw her look up at him from underneath her lashes. Her eyes were full of want and it made his chest hurt.

Amelia stood up from the couch and then dropped to her knees and looked up at him with a cute smile.

“Fuck, not as innocent as you seem huh?” He chided while she ran her hands up and down his jean clad thighs.

Her fingers ran across the prominent bulge a couple of times before she began to unbuckle his belt.

Bucky could tell she was reciprocating his teasing from before and teasing him.

She gentle pulled his boxers off and let his cock stand proudly in front of her.

Milly inhaled deeply and tried to keep her confidence from before as she stroked him gently. Before she put her mouth around Bucky she looked up at him and he gave her a small reassuring smile.

That gave her all the confidence she needed to take his length down her throat. She bobbed her head up and down until her eyes watered and mascara trailed down her flushed cheeks.

Bucky groaned out loud, “Jesus fucking Christ Milly. You look so fucking pretty with my cock down your throat and tears in your eyes.”

Amelia sucked hard on Bucky’s length and his hands found their way into her thick brown hair.

She stopped moving and looked up at him expectantly.

His jaw almost dropped when he realized she was waiting for him to fuck her face. She had to be created in a lab or something. There was no way she was that perfect for him.

Bucky’s hands gripped harder into her hair and he started to fuck her mouth.

He felt himself getting closer and closer as he fucked her mouth at a sinful pace. Bucky took her off his cock and Milly frowned.

“I want you to come down my throat,” she pouted.

Fuck, she feels like the answers to all of life’s problems.

“Not tonight. Tonight, I’m gonna cum inside you,” he said pulling her up from her knees.

“Take off the rest of your clothes.”

She stood there for a moment without moving.

“Now, Amelia. Don’t make me ask again,” he warned.

This made her strip off her sweater and her ripped tights. She unzipped her skirt quickly and looked back to Bucky for instruction.

“God, you’re so gorgeous,” Bucky praised her and cupped her cheek.

His words were so kind and reminded her of the way he was earlier in the night. Amelia wasn’t sure which side of him she preferred, the domineering and brash Bucky or the kind and soft spoken Bucky.

She took a step towards his hulking frame and ran her hands over his abdomen. She felt his taught muscles twitch underneath her wandering fingers as he kissed her again.

He maneuvered her back onto the couch where they previously were and perched her body on his lap without taking his lips off of hers.

Bucky broke the kiss and whispered gruffly, “Over my lap.”

Amelia could tell by his tone that it wasn’t request. She shivered at the dominance he displayed and did what he said quickly.

Bucky ran his his large palm over the tan skin of her Milly’s ass and had to stifle a moan. Her body was a fucking masterpiece.

Amelia could feel his hard on pressing into her middle and she wanted nothing more for him to be inside her.

Without warning his hand came down harshly on the sensitive skin of her ass.

She gasped when she felt him spank her. She rubbed her thighs together at the feeling of the sharp pain.

Bucky took notice of this, “A painslut too? Very cute.”

Milly’s face turned pink at the name but she couldn’t deny that it made her feel that much more turned on.

Bucky gave her a few more before finally ending her anticipation and reaching down in between her legs.

She almost sighed in relief when his hand glided over her folds. Bucky rubbed small circles over her clit. His fingers went between her dripping hole and up to her clit torturously. All she wanted was for him to be inside her, in any way possible.

He was rewarded for his efforts with her cute moans egging him on. Finally, he slipped a finger into her and she gripped his thigh hard, surely leaving marks where her fingernails were digging into his skin.

He pumped in and out of her heat at a pace that made her eyes roll into the back of her head. He had a second finger and curled his fingers right into the spot that made her see stars.

Her pants were audible, “Please, Bucky! I’m about to cum.”

As soon as she said it his pulled his fingers out of her. She whined at the loss of contact and sat up from her position over his lap.

“Bucky, please!” She whined hopelessly.

“Don’t be such a brat, you’re gonna cum tonight,” he rolled his eyes at her.

Milly pouted up at his handsome face. Before she could say anything else she was being scooped up into his arms and trotted off somewhere.

“Where are we going?” The whine in her voice was still there.

“My bedroom,” he responded in a short manner.

Bucky opened the door to his bedroom and threw Amelia on the grey duvet of his bed.

She didn’t even get a chance to look around before he was once again on top of her kissing her.

Milly squirmed underneath him and let out helpless moans.

Bucky pulled away and let out a mocking laugh, “You’re so desperate for my cock huh? How did I find such a perfect cockwhore?”

Amelia wanted to cry at how badly she wanted him. It felt like she had been teased for millenniums.

Bucky ran the tip of his length through her folds to get her even more worked up.

“Please!” Tears clouded her vision.

The sight of her crying for him to fuck her was enough to send Bucky into a spiral. He finally pushed into her heat.

He threw his head back and they let out simultaneous moans. He slowly started to pump into her velvet walls.

“Fuck, it’s like you were made for me, baby.”

Amelia couldn’t form words all she could do was whimper and clutch onto his sheets as he pounded her into his mattress.

Bucky grabbed her leg and threw it over his shoulder and watched as her mouth opened into a silent scream at the new angle. He smirked as he fucked into her, he knew she was close.

“I’m gonna cum,” she panted out at him as she arched her back up into him.

He grabbed the headboard and set a brutal pace when he felt her tighten around him. Bucky was sure this was what heaven felt like.

He felt her constrict around him even tighter and arch her body into his own. Her moans came to a crescendo and she came undone around his cock.

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut. Feeling her cum around him was his final straw and he released inside of her.

Feeling him cum inside her made Amelia preen. They stayed connected for a moment before he pulled out of her and laid next to her panting body.

She turned toward him and pressed her head into his chest. Bucky kissed the crown of her head and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her body closer to his.

“Was that okay?”

“It was perfect, Bucky.”

[lookinggoodjohn]

Today’s the Day

Pairing: Reader x Me

Summary: How I would treat you if I was in love with you. (A little idea I had to make sure everyone feels loved. It makes it personal, and if you want a different prompt with this same pairing I’m so done, just message me!)

Word Count: 1.4K

Warnings: Cuddling, wholesomeness

I got up early that morning. Baked cookies just like my mother did before. Sure I didn’t agree with everything she did but we could hit commonground with her cookies. When they just came out of the oven and the chocolate lathers your tongue, lingering after each bite. I wanted everything to be perfect. This was the day I was waiting for since November of my eighth grade year. How couldn’t I, I mean it was the perfect thought to even think. Maybe too perfect I thought, but I didn’t want doubt to cloud my judgment. Not today when there is so much on the line. Not when…Well I don’t exactly know what but something magical. I put the cookies in the warmer in hope they would still be warm when I got back. 

I didn’t want to get there too early or I would be antsy waiting for the moment I’ve waited for. So I casually stopped into one of my friend’s apartments on the way to meet up with them. (Something I wouldn’t ordinarily do because nothing brings me that way to town.) However I chatted with them and when it got about time, I left and got a smoothie from McDonalds and went in. At first I got lost in the busyness and noise. I had to ask this really established looking lady who would seem to know where everything was. She nodded me in the direction and I set off. Sometimes I would catch myself speed walking and had to tell myself to slow down otherwise if I needed to wait I would get nervous.

By the time I made it there it was time. The moment I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever is here. The thing is though, the other person hasn't seen me yet. So I smirk, taking the opportunity to hug them from behind and swing them in a circle before facing them towards me. I glanced into their eyes and got lost once again but this time in amazement. On the way their hair fell to their shoulders, the way you could see a tint of pink in their cheeks, the most gorgeous smile that I swear could fucking light up the whole NYC square of Christmas lights. The way they are looking back at you, it was all enough to just make someone go insane. The one thing that put me over the top was the realization of the fact that you were mine and I was never going to let you go. You were the most precious thing I have ever seen and all I wanted to do was fucking make out with you right then and there. Claim you in front of all these innocent bystanders. I refrained not know what you’d be comfortable with so instead of breaking the perfect moment with words I grabbed your hand and led you to my car. I blasted your playlist as I saw how happy you were at the fact I was listening to it beforehand. We sang and we talked and talked. It was really perfect. We went out for ice cream and we made a mess over our clothes. We didn’t even care, we just laughed happy to be with one another. 

Finally I drove us home. It felt good knowing that we could share what we imagine as home. It felt like a type of promise for a future. I was so excited for you to see what I did with the place, obviously we planned it out together and I sent you photos, but I remodeled it to make it ours. A smile came to my face as you gasped and laughed nervously. You did like it and that’s all I ever wanted. You walked into the spare room, but it was also set up to where you could use it as your room if you felt you didn’t want to stay with me. I was hoping you would stay with me but I wouldn’t dare to pressure you into it. On the bed laid probably 15 squishamallows with one white wolf. You laughed and grabbed the white wolf swinging it around. I opened the closet to show you a walk-in closet with a few things in it. Some stuff that I saw indifferent stores throughout that made me think of you. Along with a sweatshirt that I hid in the back that reads, “Fries before guys.” I got it a long time ago and had myself a custom sweatshirt to read, “Hi my name is French fry,” on a name tag looking decal. 

The last thing I showed you was our bedroom, filled with tons of marvel pictures and drawings I did up on the walls. Including some of the drawings you’ve drawn for me. The wall beside our bed frame without pictures was painted to have the marvel logo. The covers have a Bucky Barnes drawing on it. The pillows have different quotes of his and even his symbol. I wanted to capture the face you made when you entered the room and it was all I’d hoped for. I caught your face on my phone at just the right moment. Your eyes glistened, your hair fell perfectly around your face and your lips-god your lips curved up into the sweetest curve. I quickly put my phone up to not let you see me taking a photo so you didn’t become self conscious or anything.

Then once I let you take it all in I grabbed your hand to take you outside where I strung lights on our porch and set up a white sheet and my projector set projecting a blank screen. I set up mattresses and fluffy throw blankets. You looked at me with awe and I smiled. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. 

We binged watched a couple Marvel movies before going to bed. You walked into our room and got dressed in our bathroom while I got changed in the bedroom. When you came out I stood by the door in case you were uncomfortable. We stared at each other for a while before I walked up to you and took your hands in mine. I took them and kissed the back of your hands before walking you over and gesturing to you to sit on the bed. You sat and I noticed you became flustered so I held my hands out for you and you did the same. Now you were smiling ear to ear as I wrapped you in my arms as we laid down on the bed and I rolled you to where you were on top of me. With one hand I played with your hair with the other holding you to me at your hip. Then I placed my hand upon your cheek and seemed as if to ask for consent. You quickly nodded and your face turned a brighter shade of red as I pulled you closer and kissed you. It was soft and sweet as if to say a million things at once to reassure you that you can be yourself around me. 

After all that’s who I came to love in the first place. The girl with the same love interest as me (which is weird when I type that out but yk), the one who adores Marvel just as much as I do, helps when it's needed, brought me from a dark time in my life, supports others, and is genuinely interested in hearing what I have to say. The last part was the cherry on top that made me fall mind bafflingly in love with you. Now holding you in my own arms, I never wanted to pick myself up. You giggled nervously again and I lost it. I freckled your face with kisses. I rolled you over to be able to lay on your own and let go of you. I didn’t want to but I didn’t want you to feel pressured. It wasn’t until I heard you give a little whimper when you felt my touch disappear that I hugged you. Both of us hugged each other from our sides, legs intertwined as you laid your head on your pillow and I laid mine on your chest. 

[lookinggoodjohn]

Woah There-What?

Pairing: Reader X Sam??

Summary: Sam called you up and of course you jumped at the opportunity. He was the closest thing to love you had.

Word count: 1.2K

Warnings: PTSD, mentions of sex, friends with benefits?

Why did it always seem like you were running late on the most important days? He said be there at 8 a.m. but of course you got stuck behind traffic and a really slow car in the no passing lane.

Pairing: Reader x Sam????

Summary: Sam has been like the closest thing you’ve ever had to love so when he called you up you said yes immediately. You would do anything to spend more time with Sam then you have been able to in the past. 

Word Count: 1.2K

Warnings: Mentions of sex, friends with benefits? PTSD

Why did it always seem like you were running late on the most important days? He said be there at 8 a.m. on the dot, no later. It stung when he said it, I mean you knew you always ran a little late, but nothing major. You did plan on being there at 8. You set your clothes out and had everything ready to go so you could take five minutes to get ready. What you didn’t plan for was traffic. Why are so many people up this early you whined. 

Not to mention the car you got stuck behind in the no passing lane. You thought your last straw was going to be when he abruptly hit the brakes and got out of his car to “save” a raccoon. It was nice and all but the fact that the raccoon was dead, was the breaking point for you. You got out of your car and picked it up and set it on the side of the road and gestured for the man to get in his car. He shuffled to get in his car and you face palmed your forehead as he ran into his car door. Can people get any dumber, I mean c’mon. You got back into your car and at the next stoplight the man finally turned and he made sure you knew he was turning by slowing even more and turning his turn signal on three miles before the next cross-section.

 You didn’t care, you might have sped on the way there, but you weren’t going to be late for this. You finally got a vacation and you weren’t going to ruin it already. You actually made it there with 10 minutes to spare. Of course you didn’t want to risk getting a drink from McDonalds or smth because with your luck the place would be packed as soon as you got there. 

You found the address he gave you, but the house…I mean he wasn’t poor but boy you didn’t think he could afford this. It had its own valet parking with a big metal gate and shrubs running up and down the driveway. It was immaculate, I mean the architecture was just beautiful. You spun around in circles trying to wrap it around your head when you accidentally ran into something. You didn’t think that guy was real to be honest he looked like a statue so when he said,”It’s a lot to take in isn’t it.” You jumped a little, setting yourself back up out of his arms. You could see remorse in his eyes at the fact he scared you. “Sorry I thought you were a statue,” you kicked yourself a little for thinking he was the statue. “That’s a new one. Are you Sam’s friend?” You nodded, “in the flesh.” He turned, “This way, this place can be a maze but you’ll get used to it. I’m Steve by the way.” You palmed your forehead for the second time this morning, “Of course you are. I knew that.” He laughed and showed you around the building. He was right, it was a maze, a wonderful, expensive-looking maze. Your face was still tinted pink from the embarrassment of not knowing who Captain America was. I mean c’mon who does that?

 Apparently you do, and you weren’t taken too kindly to the fact. To one of his coworker friends he introduced you as the one girl who didn’t jump up and down at the fact she was talking to Captain America. Obviously any girl in their right mind would want to date Steve. I mean he was the stereotypical perfect man, but you weren’t in your right mind and you simply could give less fucks. I mean its not that big of a deal anyways. He is just a normal guy. Sure he had amazing hair, deep blue eyes like the ocean, totally ripped but with a smile that makes you feel all fuzzy and welcome, and god I mean when he looked at you it felt as if you might die right there but other than that he was a totally normal man who happened to be twice the size. 

He got you to Sam and you ran up to him. You missed him so much. He swung you around in his arms. When you got sat down he finally introduced you to Steve properly and you totally ignored the handshake making a disgusted face past Steve. They looked to see what you were looking at and you could’ve threw up right then and there when you saw all the girls making googly eyes at Steve. Sam laughed and patted you on the back, “That’s what normal girls do, they actually find attraction towards good guys.” You rolled your eyes at his controversial statement, “Actually statistics show that-Yeah blah, blah blah statistics show that girls like the stereotypical bad boys or whatever- I was just saying that I am part of a majority.” You quickly added to make sure you got your word in. “Why can’t you be normal and hate math, fantasize about boys, and gossip or that shit?” You hit him, “You might as well climb Mount Everest because your percentage of getting to the top is significantly higher than me to do any of that, hypothetically speaking of course. Speaking if you didn’t have your wings to help you.” You smiled because you knew you won the argument. You always won, he never put up much of a fight. It wouldn’t be worth it, you always won. “Whatever, let's get you unpacked and ready for the thanksgiving party so I can introduce you to everyone.” Your eyebrow furrowed, “Thanksgiving party? Don’t those usually happen like on Thanksgiving?” Sam chuckled, “It’s a pre-Thanksgiving event. Tony will come up with any old excuse to host a party. The man is insane.” You laughed as you trotted behind him.

 It felt weird being in these halls. You knew they weren’t the same ones you walked through but the feeling was. You began to shake ever so slightly, becoming hyper aware of everything. The air, the ground, the creaks in the steps, the whispering voices-wait whispering voices. You listened to hear what they were saying and you pieced it all together. “You should join us at the party. It will be fun, plus Sam is bringing his friend. At least come to meet her, after all what Sam has told me about them she might become the next Mrs.Wilson.” Your eyes grew big. “What do you mean?” They knew you thought you wanted to quit eavesdropping but you couldn’t. The curiosity in your mind took over. “He said that they have had sex together before but just decided to stay friends. After that they just kept doing it. Who knows, maybe it will turn into something.” You relaxed, they didn’t know why you and Sam did those things. You and Sam had no feelings toward each other in that way. It was just something that helped with-well everything.