lordofthepoorssaviourofthebroken - Tumblr blog

[lordofthepoorssaviourofthebroken]

When the world is plunged into the apocalypse their going to call upon people much smarter than a backyard survivalist to help fix things. Just saying. Who needs someone who can make a fire with two sticks and owns a survival straw when there’s literally people who know how to put an entire meal into a pill and send people to another planet without blowing up.

[lordofthepoorssaviourofthebroken]

So I was at work and my smoking spot is behind a brick wall beside some stairs that lead into the building where customers can’t see me.

Well I was smoking a cigarette, minding my own business when I hear a man telling his woman that others opinions on how she looks doesn’t matter.

I was never soo ready to pop my head out from behind a corner and scream “ damn straight!” Like a maniac as I was then.

But this guy was a 7 foot tall black guy who looked like his morning routine was lifting truck tires above his head, so I shut my mouth and awkwardly shuffled uncomfortably while I weighed out the pros and cons of having broken bones.

[lordofthepoorssaviourofthebroken]

Some guy was paying for ice and he took out a wadd of crumpled bills and change was falling out and he dropped a bill while uncrumpling them to give me $3.

I told him ‘a wallet might help’ he quickly said “ nah I’ll just lose it”

Like my guy, I picked up two pennies you missed. I’m pretty sure you lose $20 once or twice a week. You need a wallet because I don’t see a difference between losing $20 and losing $150 because you kept it in a wallet.

Either way I usually pick up anywhere between 50 cents and $15 off the ground per day because people don’t like wallets.

Buy a wallet and I won’t be picking up your money to buy snacks from the vending machine.

[lordofthepoorssaviourofthebroken]

Sometimes I step on grass and realize there’s like 20 bees where I’m stepping and I freak out because bees are important.

But sometimes I really need that four leaf clover for a luck potion and accidentally stepping on 5 bees 20 ants and 4 beetles for a single ingredient would be worth the entire ecosystem collapsing in on itself.