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If you like what I do consider supporting me! I post all images in High res and before they get posted publicly.
https://www.patreon.com/SushiSusii https://ko-fi.com/sushisusii / https://ko-fi.com/sushisusii/tiers
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genshingarbage · 23 hours
hi there mod diluc! can i request a drabble/oneshot with diluc x fem (or gn) reader where the reader is insecure about their looks and feels like they're not good enough for him? kinda like a fluffy hurt/comfort? :)
Awe! Hey there, lovelyluc! Ofc I can do this, it was a nice breather from all the angst and smut that I have just brewing away behind closed doors, lmao!!! I hope this was to your liking! Sorry for keeping you waiting just really busy with personal things right now!! - Mod Diluc
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Time and Time Again.
Diluc x Reader / Fluff-Comfort
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Why does he like you.
It wasn't a question anymore. It was a demand you really wished to have the answer to.
Your fingers tapped incessantly against the oak tabletop surface you stood beside, your hand tightly wrapped around a wine glass, the flavoured liquid swirling inside fervently as your wrist rolled in circular motions. Your actions oozed with clear impatience and frustration; to what, however, was something only you were privy to right now.
You squinted your eyes and flared your nostrils as you bought the glass to your lips, taking a hearty swig of the beverage before returning back to your prior actions. Your mind continued to race with the 'what ifs' and possible 'whys.' But it was all for nothing without concrete evidence, theorising and speculation was never your strong suit. So you sighed out in exasperation, wishing to admit defeat, but the gnawing voice of no reason in the back of your head wasn't going to allow it.
You audibly groaned out now and rolled your eyes, your hand leaving the tables surface to rub against the side of your face. Your stubbornness was certainly going to be your ruin, so many questions to ask him, but no courage to voice them. Him being, of course, Diluc Ragnvindr; Mondstadt's biggest tycoon of the wine industry, the most wealthy soul and most eligible bachelor, well all of them were true except the last one now.
But that was the problem right now, wasn't it? He is supposed to be no longer eligible to single women out there, no longer a bachelor. For he is with you, happily, of course... right?
You took another deep swig of your wine after the realisation that he may not actually be happy with you. Maybe he married you only for convenience? Oh, Archons... what if he didn't like you at all?! What if you were just an easy option because he already knew you, a familiar face that could solve his problems?
Your eyes widened as the heaviness of it all began to sink your mind and heart into a pitiful state of despair and worry. He did always seem distant, didn't he? ... somewhat aloof to your gestures of affection and tenderness. Your glass is now empty and so placed on the table while you traverse the short distance to the storage cabinet stowed at the corner of the spacious and luxurious living room.
As you subconsciously manoeuvre around and fetch yourself another bottle of high-priced wine, your thoughts continue to swirl inside; he only ever shows for dinner and special occasions that require his presence with you, as if it was all just another task... another tedious duty... as if you... was just another mundane necessity.
You blink rapidly as the sound of uncorking the bottle brings you back, and you don't even remember grabbing the extra strong alcoholic beverage as you watch the deep red liquid pour into your emptied wine-glass-now full. The unsteady wavering of the smooth contents locking your gaze in a sudden hypnotic power, watching as it rises and sinks left and right, till finally settling once the liquid no longer pours inside, steady, still, unmoving.
Much like your romantic life.
You whined to yourself pathetically as you placed the bottle down and swiftly lifted the glass back up to meet your dried lips and suddenly dried throat, swallowing more of the numbing buzz that slowly clouds you more into intoxicated cushioning. This was childish and certainly unhelpful. You knew that much, but what else could you do?
Nervously, you bit at your nail on your free hand unoccupied with keeping a steady hold on your glass, a nasty habit you obtained as a child when the nerves of failing in your parents eyes plagued your every waking moment, when things seemed to look bleak and wasn't going your way or in anyway that had been intended. And much like back then, that same dreaded feeling began to overwhelm you now. What if you're unattractive? What if your ordinary self is too plain for that level of extraordinary that Master Diluc so clearly was?
You never made mighty or outstanding achievements in your past. You never conjured up to much of anything worthy of note, let alone history defining. Your biggest crowned achievement was this, right now, your life, married in unison with Diluc Ragnvindr. It was something that made you brim with pride and unbridled love and happiness, your faint smile was fleeting as you reminisced on those sweet memories, before the darkness swept back over and left you alone with the mere thought of; happiness for you, sorrow for him.
The grip on your glass grew increasingly tighter, your knuckles whitening under the pressure, and your eyes also began to shine with a glossiness to them, tears threatening to spill. Was your true love only true to your heart? And not a shared experience with the man you'd held so dearly? You meekly rubbed the spilling tears from your cheek as some managed to escape you and drop onto the wooden surface you stood beside.
The door...
That voice...
No, no, no, not right now, he can not see me right now, not like this... no!
It was the very man you'd spent the best part of an hour stressing and crying over, his voice laced with concern as you heard the footsteps grow nearer and louder as he approached you from behind. You hated this! How was he so skilled at being so silent, only knowing he's nearby when it's far too late.
"O-oh, hello dear, I didn't hear you approaching." You tried to feign softness in your voice to hide the wavering tone behind it. You dared not to glimpse behind either. You feared seeing him right now. Eye to eye will only unleash the gates you're desperately holding under lock an key. So you remained faced stiffly toward the table and away from his heavy stare; "Naturally," he replied in that suave voice he naturally holds, "how else am I to keep my beloved on her toes?" He finishes with a soft chuckle.
Your heart aches, a smile forming ever so slightly on your now reddened face, your eyes still glossy and your cheeks somewhat shiny from the few tears prior. He jokes with you... would a man who loves you really care to entertain you? Your hand placed absentmindedly against your chest as you pondered: Diluc would, regardless, because he's always been a charming gentleman. To any an all. It did little to soothe your worry as much as it instead led you to admire him more, which resulted in your self resentment to blossom hotter.
"Y/N, you seem troubled, speak to me." He pleaded, though it sounded more of a demand. You were used to his stoic voice in most cases, that's why those odd times he did crack a joke or shoot a flirty line to you it caught you off guard and never failed to fluster you.
Suddenly, you felt his warmth press against you from behind, his arms slowly snaking around your waist to pull you more into him. His forehead resting gently on the base of your neck where your hair lay neatly braided, his eyes closed unbeknownst to you, of course. His body shifting ever so slightly to press tighter against you.
There was a thick awkwardness of dead silence after his request however, your mouth parted, but no words left you. You were losing yourself in your self worry, your self-hatred, all of it, and you closed your eyes to still your nerves that bubbled under the surface, threatening to erupt. He held you so lovingly, caressed you with earnest intent, showed concern, these are all acts a lover would surely portray to their beloved, in yet... something in your mind wouldn't rest, wouldn't leave well enough alone, and unfortunately, it took hold of your reason entirely and began to control your words.
"Do you love me Master Diluc?" You questioned.
"Master?" He questioned back. His eyebrows lifted ever so slightly in a quizzical expression as well as slight shock. You hadn't called him that title since the last day you served him or his family as a maid, since the day he proposed to you...
"Do you?" Your head instinctively began to turn, the itching desire to look the man in his eyes, in yet you froze, halted your actions and remained faced forward, eyes glaring down at your hands pressed against the tabletop, your focus locked onto the beautiful crystal smelted wedding ring the red head behind you had so gently slid onto your finger that faithful day.
"Y/N, of course I do. What is this?" His voice grew more stern now, stricter and laced with demanding expectancy. His grip on you began to loosen ever so slightly. The feeling of his grip softening only served to sting your heart harder. Could he not stand to you hold in an embrace for that long? Of course he couldn't, why would he want to? You're nothing.
You sniffed in sharply, a frail attempt to steady your racing heart that thumped aggressively in your chest, the blood rushing around and drowning your ears in white noise. You swallowed down the lump that had at some point lodged itself into your throat, a shaky breath exhaled past your lips.
"Y/N." He sounded annoyed...
"Why?" Your voice meekly replied back.
"Why what?" He sighed out, annoyed you'd answered his question with another question, yet still continued to humour you.
"Why do you love me?... no... how can you?" You spoke softly, it sounded as if it was meant only for you to hear, but with him pressed against you, his chin now digging into your shoulder softly and nuzzling against you, he was sure to hear it as well, and hear it he did.
"Why do you speak like this? Has something happened?" He began to deflect your questions now, the lack of a true answer doing nothing to calm your impending outrage.
"Yes, something did happen." You spoke clearly now.
"What." He was no longer asking.
"I've come to realise the truth." You replied, he pressed against you harder, only to glance down to see the two empty bottles of wine, and the currently opened high percentage one, your wine glass beside your hand that was clenched and whitening moreso.
He let out a defeated sigh before pulling away from you, the cold surrounded you like an unforgiving villain.
"You've been drinking." He stated factually.
"And what of it?" You retorted with somewhat aggression.
"You don't realise the nonsense you're saying to me right now." He argued flatly. His distate toward alcohol was known well to you, but it never deterred you from enjoying it from time to time, or using it as a way to lessen the burden of realising you're in a loveless marriage with a man far too out of your league.
"It is not nonsense. And stop assuming I am drunk." You growled, still not daring to face him.
He crossed his arms now, the somewhat screech of his clothes echoing out while tightening on him as his arms flexed in his ruby red long coat.
"You'd be inhumane to not be drunk after consuming so much of that wine, Y/N, specially from my self made bottles." He groaned out like a disappointed father.
You breathed in deeply and decided fuck it, turning round to face him now, you wish you hadn't though...
His crimson eyes instantly captured you into a sudden lock you were too weak willed to break from, his anger mixing with concern clearly painted over his face also hurt you, maybe you had been acting irrationally... but... but no, you wasn't, you are not drunk, certainly not, and you know what you're saying is true.
"I am inhumane though aren't I, Master Diluc?" You narrowed your eyes to which he squinted back, his hand coming out open palmed in a gesture to explain, "and how in all of Teyvat did you summon this ridiculous statement?" He questioned.
"I am nothing more than a maid... it's all I've ever been... all I'll ever be..." Your lip trembled, your resolve dissappeared faster then your prior glasses of wine did when you was downing them oh so ungracious like.
You hadn't realised at that point the way Diluc's angered expression softened almost instantly, his strict demeanour breaking in record time and replaced with one of hurt and confusion, how could you have noticed? Your eyes were looking down at your hands, at your ring.
"I... I don't deserve a man like you, I was stupid to ever think I deserved more in life. I don't deserve to love you, a man so beautiful, so fierce and charming, so talented... a man... whom I was meant to only serve..." Your eyes began to fill with tears, this time the alcohol had numbed your senses of it all and so they fell freely, dropping into the delicately woven carpet beneath your heels, the very heels that Diluc gifted to you for your birthday only four weeks ago.
Your lip trembled harder, your voice lost to your grieving, "you should be married to a woman of higher stature, dignified purpose, like... like the acting grand master Jean, or Eula Lawrence, a woman of nobility to match yours... not a commoner with nothing to her name! N-not a shabby maid whose only purpose was to clean dishes and mop floo-!" You were suddenly silenced.
Your eyes widened, the tears halting in your glossy stare, blurred ever so slightly, but the feel of his lips were always decipherable, the tender movement of his guiding lips on yours well known, his gentle tongue caressing your own into a joint dance of the wet muscles inside both of yours mouths. He pressed against you softly, your hands flatly pressing against the table behind you now, the need to feel grounded to avoid falling.
Your eyes closed as you slipped into the blissful embrace of your lovers passionate and somewhat desperate kiss, he was a man of little words, he didn't know how to soothe a troubled person let alone his suffering lover, but he hated seeing you this way, detested hearing your words, those lies, all of it wrong. He didn't know how to make you see this except to embrace you, something he's now realised while engulfed in all that is your womanly beauty, he's done very little of, definitely not enough of.
Only when the burning need for air gripped you both in your lungs did he finally pull away.
Panting softly, his hands now pressing either side your smaller frame, keeping you trapped against the table, his red hair up in his signature high ponytail, yet a few strands now come loose and frame his beautifully sculpted face. His eyes deepening its glare into you.
"Y/N. Please stop." His voice sounded so frail now, so hurt and your flustered self suddenly felt ashamed.
"That isn't true... none of it, and you know it." His eyes trail down your body slowly, shamefully eyeing you, he made it clear he was attracted to you in the way his eyes hunger and lust along your frame, only to come back to a stand off with your own glossy ones.
"You may have been a maid before that much is true, but that doesn't define you, it never did. I love you, for you, I would not have gone through such hassle to learn from my broth..." his voice cut short suddenly and died in his throat, the pained expression on his face making you fully understand who he was suddenly remembering, "...Kaeya, when I was younger, how to win your hand in marriage and gain your love, now would I?" He questioned, his head tilting slightly as he did so.
He held valid reason there... even your cloudy and intoxicated brain couldn't rebute that fact...
"I..." Your voice couldn't come out, you was too overwhelmed.
"Eula is an astranged acquaintance, to whom I keep at friendly and polite distance, for the mere sake of nobility respect, and Jean is a very close friend of mine Y/N, and yes, I love her dearly." Your eyes began to drop down, the jealousy already threatening to consume you once more, but his strong finger and thumb grip your chin softly and guide your sights back onto him, his lips close to yours, his hot breath fanning across your face. "But she isn't the one I'm in love with Y,N,"
He drops your face now and suddenly engulfs you in his warmth, the embrace soft and welcoming, hugging you tightly into him and clouding your sight in darkness now as you close your eyes and nuzzle into him helplessly.
"You are." He gently places a kiss atop your head; his hands stroking your back and another locking your head into place to keep you pressed into him lovingly so.
You couldn't help the smile that broke onto your face now, as if a weight had been lifted from you, the darkness finally beginning to dissipate within your mind, inside your heart, nothing but your burning love for him remained now. He says he's a man of few words and doesn't understand how to woo a lady, but you find it increasingly hard to believe, he certainly is a master at reassuring your drunken hazy worries.
"I am sorry Diluc, I let my doubts consume me..." You apologised softly while still nuzzled into him, and his gentle strokes, soft caresses and pliant kisses on your head let you know he forgave you, and it made you feel that somehow, he always will... because it felt that bit more safe to believe him, in his words, that Diluc Ragnvindr, the charming winery tycoon and Mondstadt's Dark Knight Hero wouldn't let you suffer alone, now, or ever.
And then suddenly, you knew for sure that your comforting thoughts of this man, this strong and fierce man, your lover, your husband, your soul mate, were all correct when you heard him mutter against your head as you began to be lulled into a gentle soothing motion; "I will remind you how much I love you Y/N, Time and Time Again."
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