lostthenfoundmyself

[lostthenfoundmyself]

important to note two things:

1. Boulder Colorado has historically been a progressive liberal part of Colorado. it's blue bubble and Denvers blue bubble is the reason the state, while technically a swing state has been blue. this is honestly the last place I would've imagined a hate crime like this to occur.

2. the victims of the attack were 67-88 years old. On shavuot. at a March for the hostages. this is not some young adults getting into a heat of the moment fight at a protest. this person lit 6 elderly jews on fire.

I don't have any words for this.

[lostthenfoundmyself]

I found a hidden convenience store and bought grape juice, so I will not be doing ritz cracker cheese sandwiches kiddush!

Dining hall closes before sunset? Okay…I’ll just fill up my water bottle with grape juice and take that out. Wait, they don’t have grape juice? I’ll just do kiddush over challah, but since I don’t have real challah I’ll just use bread. But actually, I don’t even have bread, just ritz cracker cheese sandwiches. Fine. I’ll do kiddush over ritz cracker cheese sandwiches, because Google says I can do HaMotzi over ritz crackers. But I don’t have any salt! Well…ritz crackers have salt on top of them them. So if I remove the salt from the ritz crackers cheese sandwiches, they’ll still be bread, kind of, and then I can dip them in their own salt!

…at this point, I’m getting the feeling that my substitutes are too far removed to do kiddush.

[lostthenfoundmyself]

Dining hall closes before sunset? Okay…I’ll just fill up my water bottle with grape juice and take that out. Wait, they don’t have grape juice? I’ll just do kiddush over challah, but since I don’t have real challah I’ll just use bread. But actually, I don’t even have bread, just ritz cracker cheese sandwiches. Fine. I’ll do kiddush over ritz cracker cheese sandwiches, because Google says I can do HaMotzi over ritz crackers. But I don’t have any salt! Well…ritz crackers have salt on top of them them. So if I remove the salt from the ritz crackers cheese sandwiches, they’ll still be bread, kind of, and then I can dip them in their own salt!

…at this point, I’m getting the feeling that my substitutes are too far removed to do kiddush.

[lostthenfoundmyself]

Whelp, according to my university’s CAA, the Jews—sorry, Zionists—are at fault for India’s “settler-colonialism” too.

[lostthenfoundmyself]

Well...yesterday, I managed to forget stringbeans were beans. (My brain for some reason thinks of beans, peas, lentils, etc. as their own category separate from vegetables...and thinks of string beans as vegetables.) So, I'm definitely not doing anywhere near perfectly.

It is “Thou shalt not eat 10% of thy diet, but thy ancestors declared thou shalt not eat 90% of thy diet so thou art stuck with potatoes” week.

[lostthenfoundmyself]

It is “Thou shalt not eat 10% of thy diet, but thy ancestors declared thou shalt not eat 90% of thy diet so thou art stuck with potatoes” week.

[lostthenfoundmyself]

…I had a nightmare last night about accidentally eating a cookie.

[lostthenfoundmyself]

While you were eating dates in Babylonia, I studied the bl…Torah

[lostthenfoundmyself]

I have tolerance for people being idiots, or misinformed, or overly wrapped up in ideology.

I do not, unfortunately, have tolerance for someone claiming they can’t be antisemitic because they’re “of Jewish descent.”

It’s not even “I can’t be antisemitic because I’m Jewish.” It’s “I’m not Jewish, was not raised at all in Jewish culture, and don’t know anything about being Jewish, but someone somewhere in my family line was Jewish so therefore I’m immune to a highly prevalent form of bigotry!”

Ugh.

[lostthenfoundmyself]

you do bedikas chametz thursday night and burn it on friday. save enough to do hamotzi for shabbos lunch, and eat or dispose of that before the last chametz time

Thank you! That’s interesting.

[lostthenfoundmyself]

Good luck to everyone on erev pesach shabbas this year. the glitch in the halakhic system. Everything you need to do for each day is not allowed because of the other day

[lostthenfoundmyself]

I’m a gentile, but I recently switched bodies with my Jewish friend (like in Freaky Friday). Am I obligated to keep kosher while I’m in his body? Is he obligated to keep kosher while he’s in my body?

I’m assuming you’ve already had your calls rejected by Lindsey Lohan, Jamie Lee Curtis, and several Rabbinic authorities. They’re the experts, so trust anything they say over anything I say!

This is sticky. I originally wrote a paragraph explaining why it was okay for you to eat whatever you want, because kosher laws would be tied to the Jewish soul, not the body. Then I remembered Marit Ayin. If you and your friend have publicly disclosed your body-swap status, you should be good to go! But if you’re pretending to be your Jewish friend during the body-swap, then eating treif could cause him social and reputational harm. In that case, I’d steer clear of the bacon cheeseburgers for a while, if only to do your friend a solid.

Either way, I think your friend is obligated to keep kosher, because he still has a Jewish soul, regardless of which body he's in. (Obligated is a weird word. I’m Reform, so I choose to keep kosher, it’s not an obligation. But for whatever reason your friend was keeping kosher before, it’s probably best he still keeps it now.)

[lostthenfoundmyself]

Whenever people ask me what do Jews believe about X I always start with how much time do you have? How many answers do you want? Would you like the four most common interpretations?

And then I get to watch their face as they try to wrap their head around the idea that a religion based on debate and questioning might have multiple disparate opinions on scripture.

[lostthenfoundmyself]

what year do we think there will be a chabad on the moon

[lostthenfoundmyself]

Explaining to my gentile friends what a mezuzah is and was looking up a picture and I am now adding these alongside propeller hat yarmulke to my now expanding list of things that are totally kosher but would give your mother a heart attack if you showed it off to people

[lostthenfoundmyself]

Have you involuntarily become more antisemitic in the last year?

How do you involuntarily become more antisemitic???