loudinmyhead

[loudinmyhead]

[loudinmyhead]

[loudinmyhead]

[loudinmyhead]

I hate that I’m so desperate for you. It makes my chest hurt. I tear up and I can barely maintain composure. I wish I could make it stop. I wish I could turn it off or run away from it. I just want to be loved. Why do I feel so disgusting? Am I crazy? Why am I so desperate for you to feel something for me too? It’s the most awful, gut wrenching feeling when you’re in love with someone who’s told you they don’t love you back… multiple times! I just cant seem to fucking help myself. Our chemistry is undeniable - I know I make you feel all types of confused sometimes. I swear one time you told me you loved me and then immediately brushed if off, hoping I didn’t hear you. Was i so high that I imagined that? I don’t know anymore… I’m so confused. Why are you holding back? I want to keep you safe. We can keep everything secret just like always. I want you to trust me. I love you so much. I’m sorry, but it’s true. I can’t hold it in anymore. I have to vent somewhere… and there’s no way in hell I’d ever be honest irl. I can’t handle the rejection. I’ll be a good little secret and shut my mouth. As long as you make me cum like you always do.

[loudinmyhead]

I’m so fucking annoying I have to come here so I don’t explode but even I make myself fucking sick

[loudinmyhead]

I’m just a dumbass girl fr. I’m so embarrassed all the time. I wish I knew how you felt for me.

[loudinmyhead]

I’m not good enough for you </3

[loudinmyhead]

[loudinmyhead]

[loudinmyhead]

[loudinmyhead]

[loudinmyhead]

[loudinmyhead]

[loudinmyhead]

don’t ask me how I feel if you’re not prepared for the answer

[loudinmyhead]

You’ll never know how bad I need you

[loudinmyhead]

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been so close to vomiting my entire heart up to you. Why am I like this? It’s so fucking embarrassing but evidently I can’t help but constantly make a fool of myself. I’m so weak when it comes to you. I look at you and my entire body shivers and melts. You make me so nervous in the best way. I want you to be as obsessed with me as I am with you. I want you to think I’m perfect just like I think you are. I can’t imagine you ever being with anyone else. The thought literally ties my stomach in knots. I’m so pathetic. I feel like if I’m not constantly reassured, I’ll die. God I need you so badly it feels like my chest is being ripped open. Please tell me how you feel about me. I get so many mixed signals from you and it hurts so badly. Sometimes it feels like you’re stringing me along on purpose. I know that’s not true but my intrusive thoughts try to convince me that you’ll leave and none of the time we’ve spent together has ever meant anything to you. Last year you confessed that you were terrified of developing feelings that go beyond just friends… but then when I admit that I have feelings for you, you told me you didn’t think you were capable of feeling romantic feelings towards anyone (and compared me to your ex, ouch). I’m so confused. The way you look at me… the way you kiss me and touch my body. It makes me fantasize about something more. I wish I could turn my feelings off, but I just can’t. Are you just using me? Do I mean anything to you? I have to. I don’t believe that you don’t feel anything… or is that awful and selfish of me to say? Of course there are aromantic people out there. I guess I just don’t understand why you seem to care about me in that way and then pull away when I start to catch feelings in return. I feel like I’m being breadcrumbed. Maybe I’m just an idiot who can’t handle being just a hookup. Fwb. A fuck toy. Subhuman. Forgettable.

[loudinmyhead]