lourenmercado-blog

[lourenmercado-blog]

Great dress 😍

( Floral Off The Shoulder Slit Maxi Dress || Free Shipping on all US orders!)

-sitewide discount Maxi /Mini dresses here-

[lourenmercado-blog]

I’ve never trusted anyone all the time. It’s the people I care about the most that always seem to do the most damage.

Jay Crownover, Rule (via books-n-quotes)

[lourenmercado-blog]

[lourenmercado-blog]

SHALLOW REASONS

I’m so down this time. I don’t know how to handle this pain anymore.I feel so down. Ewan ko kung gigive-up na ako or should I still keep trying My boyfriend kept on telling me not to cry so I should not ayoko umiyak dahil yun pinangako ko sa taong mahal ko. So,give me ways on how to eliminate this pain. Should I laugh? Should I pretend again and again? 

JAMAICA FIGHT LANG! KAYA MO YAN ORAYT? STOP NA BABYGIRL. YOUR BOYFRIEND WONT LIKE KUNG IIYAK KA NA NAMAN. STEPHEN DOESN’T LIKE THAT ORAYT? FIGHT LANG AJA!. 

tell me what to do. HINDI KO NA ALAM. I wanna cry, but this is just a shallow reason to cry on. :’( itutulog ko na lang siguro to then bukas wala na.

BE STRONG JAM BE STRONG!

[lourenmercado-blog]

FRUSTRATED SINGER

I just got home from a singing elimination today. 

well, as usual, I lose again, actually dapat masanay na ako kasi lagi naman. :’( it’s not the fact that I lose. it’s the fact that I am so embarassed with myself and with my mom. Wala na akong napapatunayan sa sarili ko, I am such a big LOSER. and I really hate that. I don’t know when is my time. I’m having too much time I think. for 19years of existence, is it still not too late to try? or I had too much?

Pagod na pagod na ako. sobrang pagod na. I just want to tell myself na “Jamaica, stop dreaming, you’re not a singer and you will never be.” kailan kaya ako makakramdam ng tatawagin naman yung pangalan ko na nakapasok ako sa sa top finalist pero wala eh. I’m always the second choicee. :’(

I’m so down this time. I don’t know how to handle this pain anymore.I feel so down. Ewan ko kung gigive-up na ako or should I still keep trying. some says, maganda boses ko some says pa voice lesson ka para ma-improve,and some doesn’t appreciate it.

tell me what to do. HINDI KO NA ALAM. I wanna cry, but this is just a shallow reason to cry on. :’( itutulog ko na lang siguro to then bukas wala na.

[lourenmercado-blog]

[lourenmercado-blog]

I will 😭

[lourenmercado-blog]

[lourenmercado-blog]

I don’t want you to change, […]. I’m not in love with who you could be, or who you used to be, or who the world says you should be. I’m in love with you. Right now. Just like this.

Colleen Hoover, Maybe Not (via books-n-quotes)

[lourenmercado-blog]

not-so-sweet GOOODBYE

Kagigising ko lang. nagmessage sa akin boyfriend ko na minessage ka raw niya I tried to reach you out don sa account kong isa pero I guess blinock moko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ano sinabi ni Stephen sayo kasi wala akong access sa account niya. Whatever it is ako na humihingi ng pasensiya. Kasalanan ko rin naman. Pero masakit lang sa part ko na, dimo man lang sinabi sa akin. Bigla bigla kang nangbloblock, osige Iblock mo na rin ako sa account kong to. Don ka naman talaga magaling ang tumakbo sa mga problemang dumadating sayo at sa atin kaya tama rin na pinili ko si Stephen over you. Kasi ever since Mund, you’re still that coward guy na minahal ko noon. Coward means duwag. Duwag ka Mund. Tama rin na sinabi ni kuya Richard sa akin na wag kitang piliin over kay Phen. Diko alam kung mababasa mo to. Pero sige pasenisya na lang Mund. Ingat ka lagi. Salamat sa pangbloblock. Godbless ! 🙂

[lourenmercado-blog]

WHY?

For 5 months of having a toxic relationship with you, now I can finally say how did I endure that kind of relationship and WHY did I let myself suffer from that kind of relationship? August 2016 is the first meeting that we had. We also had our first chitchat on text and I really hate you for having jejemon messages. I don’t like you I admit that because you’re not that head-turner guy that a girl wants too. (Well although I’m really not into physical appearance but sometimes yea haha!) Sa sobrang naririnig ko si mama lagi na sinasabi kang gwapo yon tuloy, nabulag yung mata ko at pakatingin ko na rin sayo gwapo. You’re great. You’re a great boyfriend yes, for only 1 DAY. 1 DAY? Yes oo 1 DAY. Dahil throughout sa 5months na relationship natin, isang araw mo lang pinaramdam sa akin na mahal mo ako na prinsesa mo ako na pinapahalagahan mo ako. And that was August 28,2016. That was all our FIRST. Our first church service together sa church namin and sitting beside you inside the sacrament hall makes me think that I chose the right guy. That I don’t need to regret choosing you over the guy that I know will give me eternal life without exerting a little effort on him. Ang bilis ng pangyayari right? I met you at August then we became couple at August too. I was fooled by your flattery words dear and I hate that part. You know what my ex babe, if you’re the person that I knew since Day 1? Maybe we’re still together right now. Siguro kung pinaramdam mo pa rin sa akin yung pinaramdam mo on that August 28 day siguro kahit issue sa atin ang religion pinaglaban pa kita. Siguro you’re asking yourself now kung ano ang pagkukulang mo, pero gusto mo isa isahin ko? Osure ex babe I will. Babe, healthy pa ba ang relationship na almost everyday away? No personal communications? We don’t talk during DAYS then pag tumawag ako ng gabi 1hour of talking then tutulugan mo na ako? Those efforts na pagpunta mo sa bahay? Ay ooppss.. that was not your effort, that was all my efforts too. Effort kong awayin ka at umiyak sa phone para lang mapilit na bisitahin ako sa bahay. Lahat yan tiniis ko ng 5months. To those who will read this, maybe you’re thinking “grabe 5 months lang naman compare sa iba” yes guys 5 months lang pero being with him/being with you with that 5 months seems like a 5 years freaking hell. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Marami pa, marami pang nangyari. I can’t tell all. Sobrang nahirapan ako, natrauma ako sa relasyon na yon. And maybe you’re asking why am I writing this blog and I entitled it as WHY? It’s because I wanted to ask him why. I know may nililigawan or something ka na ngayon. Your brother told me that. I’ve been suspicious kasi lagi ka sa hometown mo. And take note during weekdays pa diba dapat may work ka? Maybe because nanjan yung babae na mahal mo ngayon. Pero I just wanted to ask one thing, WHY DO YOU EXERT TOO MUCH EFFORT ON THAT GIRL? Manaoag to Lingayen grabe ang layo pero napupuntahan mo pero ako isang bayan lang ang agwat then dimo pa ako mapuntahan. I’m hurt not because may bago ka na. Well may boyfriend na rin naman ako. Pero I am hurt kasi WHY? I’m asking myself now, Am I not worth exerting effort for? I don’t know the answer. Pero I hope someday I can know it. Thank you for giving me lessons. I’ve learned so much from you. Those pains that you gave me made me know how courageous I am. I hope dika lang hanggang sa umpisa. Maawa ka sa babae mo. Salamat rin sa Diyos dahil nilayo na niya ako sayo at binigay niya ako sa lalakeng pinaramdam sa akin yung LAHAT ng bagay na hindi ko naramdaman sayo noon. Now I know the real feeling of being a girlfriend. I look happier now pero yon lang masakit lang makita na hindi ka man lang nagsisi sa lahat ng ginawa mo sa akin pero okay lang. Let’s be happy. I will be happy. I’m now totally letting you go. Love, Your ex baby gurl

[lourenmercado-blog]

[lourenmercado-blog]

[lourenmercado-blog]

🍓🍓🍓

[lourenmercado-blog]

Spending my all saints day with these donuts 👌🏻👌🏻🍩🍩