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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 4 months

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In the Shade of the Sun

jason todd x gn!reader

summary: a twin that can’t shake the feeling of being second best and a jason todd that’s all too familiar with always being compared to someone else

tags: angst

rating teen | wc: 2.1k

a/n: a response to a lovely ask partially inspired by this snack fic i wrote a while ago

Comparison has followed you since the minute you were born a twin. Earlier in fact, when the first few ultrasounds revealed a pair of heartbeats where there should have been only one. You’ve always been them-and-you, inseparable from the sibling that came into the world with you. You love them — how could you not love them? — but there are times when you also hate them a little bit too, for there never being a Them and a You. They don’t mean to shine so bright, to suck up all the air in the room leaving you to feel like a cheap knockoff bargain version of them. The twin that’s there too sounds about right, a nickname that whispers through your ears when rooms full of people seem to gravitate towards them.

Jason Todd has always been the second Wayne child, ever since he entered Bruce’s life. He was the second Robin shortly after, a title he can’t seem to shake no matter how long it’s been or how many different identities he’s tried on since. The unwanted son, three times over, the unwanted sidekick, unable to follow orders and constantly letting their emotions get the best of them. There’s a time when the idea of always coming second, of never being someone’s first choice, chokes the air out of his lungs. There’s a time when he chooses to make the first wound, to not care about being cared for. After all, with brothers like the Golden Boy and the Drake Heir, how can a screwup from Crime Alley compete? No, much better kill hope in its flowerbed and learn to expect nothing.

The moment Jason Todd lays eyes on you, he swears he can feel the stirrings of hope, buried deep underground but not yet dead. He reminds himself that it’s childish to wish someone would pick him for once, that bone deep longing to be someone’s priority nothing more than a trick of the mind and the effect of his drink.

The moment you lay eyes on Jason Todd, it feels like everyone in the room can see just how deeply interested you are in him. A gala, a college house party, the local dive bar — none of it matters anymore, fades into the backdrop of one of the most gorgeous and aloof men you’ve ever laid eyes. He’s the centre of so many hard gazes and lingering looks, people crowding along the periphery of his notice. There’s a room full of people and every one of them has taken notice of him, yet the only thing he seems to have noticed is the perspiration on his beer. He’s got a drink in his hand, dark glass of the long-necked bottle catching the light as he turns it between his fingers. What would it be like, you wonder, to have all of that single minded focus on you?

Your twin nudges you, makes some sort of mumbled remark about the handsome stranger that you don’t quite catch over the force of your fascination. They go off, pulling you along in the wake of their personality, ready to make friends and charm strangers. Your eyes never leave the stranger’s broad back, itching to see more and almost certain that no one will notice you trailing along with your brighter twin. By chance he glances up, eyes locking with yours. Staring back, you decide you may as well learn what his eye colour is if he’s already going to think you rude.

It goes quickly after that, a definitive clink as he sets down his beer, a few long strides before he’s standing in front of you asking to buy you a drink, you staring helplessly at your twin who only makes wide eyed shooing motions at you. The whole time he’s only got eyes for you. You agree, still shocked that this man would choose to make conversation with you out of everyone else present, but more than grateful to take this chance before he inevitably realizes that there’s really a better, shinier version of you holding court by the bar. Conversation starts in drips and drabs, soda sipped between off beat answers and interrupted questions. Jason tries though, and that more than anything has you slipping him your number with the promise of seeing him again.

Jason tucks that piece of paper away into the inside breast pocket of his leather jacket and smiles. Makes him feel good to know that just like Dick he can make someone blush and trip over their tongue, but also that people still have the same capacity to do that to him too. He’s had beautiful dates before, but none that had made him so giddy at the mere prospect of getting to know them more and to be known by them. It sobers his mood a bit, to know that the closer you get the less you’ll like what you see, but for now he’ll enjoy this and you.

The next time you see Jason, you’re determined to act like your twin would. After all, they’ve always been successful at getting people to like them and you both look similar enough that the same things should work for you too. It goes terribly. Their mannerisms fit like an ill-sized coat on you. Wrong and uncomfortable, a discordant note in every one of your sentences, you end up excusing yourself to the bathroom almost in tears. It takes staring at your reflection in the bathroom mirror to check how red your eyes have gotten to make you catalogue all of your differences. The way your noses slope ever so slightly differently, the subtle difference in the shade of your irises, the crest of your brow bone curving where theirs flattens. You rejoin him fully yourself, thinking that at least he’ll only be rejecting you for yourself and not for all the ways you’ve not been able to measure up to your twin. Instead the air between you eases into something comfortable and affectionate.

Jason listens to you the way no one has ever listened to you before. He turns his whole body to you, head cocked on a slight angle to catch each word that you breathe out. An old head injury as a child, he explains, one that makes it harder to filter out ambient noise that he’s learned to overcome if he tilts his head just so. He is listening, he promises, it might not look like it always but he’s listening to you. He asks you to repeat yourself if he doesn’t catch something, makes a point of making sure you get heard in your own words. Ordinarily, this is where your twin would step in to paraphrase you at a louder volume. But he wants to hear you. If someone cuts you off in a social setting, he’ll bring the conversation back to you. Every thought you’ve had and every point you want to make gets heard. Jason cares about what you have to say because it is you — and no one else — saying it.

Jason is well aware that not all of your interests are aligned. He’s not seen all the movies you have, or heard about most of your niche topics of interest, but he’s come to care about them because you care about them. He listens to you because the joy on your face at noticing he cared about what you cared about has taken root in his own chest. Jason notices the way you hesitate and your face falls when someone interrupts you or summarily dismisses your opinions. He works to get your voice heard because in any scenario he will always choose you over anyone else. He remembers what it was like to work his way back into the family fold and to feel like the weight of his words went unrecognized and unheeded.

For both of you, the thought of introducing each other to your respective families is like the sword of Damocles hanging over your heads. Jason has a home full of brothers, each of them more capable than him in so many areas (and none of them having the same stupidity to get themselves trickery to being killed). He’s more nervous about introducing you to Dick (who he is mature enough to admit is a handsome idiot if only in his own mind), Tim (who is downright terrifying when it comes to strategy and tech, with a trust fund to match), and Damian (the kid’s got a few years yet before he’s competing for your heart but Jason swears he’s a much more talented Robin than he ever was) than he is about trusting you with the Red Hood. On your part, you think about introducing Jason to your twin and get paralyzed by how the inevitable comparison will leave you looking so inadequate. You’ve learned to live in the shadow they cast, their achievements standing tall beside them, but this is one thing you can’t bear to come second place in. Jason’s chosen you, but how long will that last when presented with someone that doesn’t have your flaws?

Your unknowingly shared fears lead the both of you to become snippy, testing the waters to see how far you can push before they stop choosing you. Things come to ahead when Jason asks you why you treat him like a secret, like something to hide away when all he wants to do is show the world — and your family — just how lucky he is. Why you won’t share him with your self-professed other half, if that means you aren’t as serious about this love of yours as he is. He doesn’t tell you what it costs him to say that out loud. How each word is like a frost come early, turning everything in its wake brittle and fragile.

There’s tears and snot and possibly too many used tissues to be sanitary before all your insecurities can be let out. Hung out for scrutiny under Jason’s piercing stare.

“It’s not that I don’t love them, or that I hate having a twin. It’s just that it never feels like there’s a real me if I’m not compared to them. And even then, it’s not like I can outshine them. I feel like I’m constantly running behind them, trying to catch up with them with my hand outstretched to reach them, but I never will. Always the one a half-step behind, too slow too small too not enough of everything that gives them that spark. And I didn’t want you to see everything I’m not and realize that there’s a better version of me out there.” (This of course, is not put so eloquently or said particularly coherently but rather through a choked throat and a runny nose that would out even the worst allergies to shame. He holds you through it all.)

“You know I’m just as scared of you meetin’ my family too? Every one of my parents found somethin’ to love more than me. A better brother, a better soldier, a better memory of me. And now I’ve got who knows how many adopted siblings and I’m still the black sheep of that family and I’ve gotta introduce you to all those perfect people and hope somehow you’ll still wanna choose me? I accepted a long time ago I wasn’t gonna be anyone’s priority until you came and waltzed your way into my life. You’re the only one that’s ever chosen me and kept on choosin’ me and everyday I wake up terrified it’ll be the day you stop.”

That conversation is the first of many, each one feeling like 10 rounds with Gotham’s worst villains. But after there’s always a sense of healing, acrid wounds finally draining of all their poison. Insecurities run deep in both of you, the constant fact you wake up to each other a surprise. The constant litany of what ifs eventually begins to run a little quieter. Comparisons you make in your own head become a little less harsh. You don’t always believe Jason when he says he loves you best, but that’s alright for now. You know now that one day you could believe it, every day a step closer to when you can hear it and not feel that twinge of doubt. Jason flinched in the beginning when you said you’d keep choosing him until tomorrow became yesterday. He flinches a little less now, even managed to press a kiss to your forehead every time you say it.

Eventually you do introduce each other to your families. When Jason mouths I love you best over the head of your twin, it plays to rest lurking doubts you thought had been banished months ago. When you link your arm with his and tell him, I don’t see what’s so great about all your brothers anyway, he barks out an incredulous laugh and squeezes you closer.

#jason todd x reader #idk guys this feels like it was made for me #kind of exactly my situation lol #love this!

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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 5 months

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-ˏˋ YOU BELONG WITH ME ; james potter

summary :: james potter, your best friend, gets a girlfriend. you hate him for it because you’re in love with him, but it’s because you love him that you pretend it isn’t eating you alive. but it doesn’t take James long to realise that everything he’s ever wanted was right there the whole time.

warnings/tags :: swearing, tiny bit of misogyny, modern!marauders, rugby player!james, rugby player!sirius, university!marauders, self doubt, rushed ending sorry!!

james potter fic inspired by you belong with me by taylor swift

words :: 7k

You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment you found yourself enamoured with the wildcard that was your best friend, James Potter. The exact moment you found yourself blushing every time he spoke to you in a cheesy way, or when you found your skin erupting in goosebumps every time his fingers trailed up your arm.

The exact moment you realised you were in love with the boy you had spent half your life being around, was probably when all of the moments you cherished so deeply were ripped right out from underneath you. When you realised he was no longer yours to share any of those moments with anymore.

When James had told you that he had gotten a girlfriend, you wanted to laugh at first honestly. You wanted to pinch yourself, hoping to snap yourself from the nightmare which was the brunette he had wrapped around his firm arm.

She wasn't a sight for sore eyes, that was for sure. She was a picturesque version of everything you could've ever wanted to be and more. Her long hair that trailed down her back just above the fold at the top of her skirt, and her dark skin that melded into James's perfectly as one.

The final straw would've been the pretty smile plastered across her face, but it was when she used her perfect mouth to speak, that you forgot all of her intimidating attributes and you actually laughed.

"Y/N?" She snarked, "James has never mentioned you before."

"Yes, I have!" He laughed, clasping his hand around her arm, "I talk about her the time." God, was the boy clueless. It was kind of pitiful, but you would never blame him for being so naive. Especially right now.

"No, you haven't, Jamesie." She almost pouted at him, batting her eyelashes his way. You could've heaved right then and there at the nickname she had used on him. You could tell James could've also, his eyes pinching together in a wince that quickly formed into a tight smile at the girl. You weren’t sure if he was embarrassed by her, or just the nickname she had chosen. Probably both.

"Yeah, y’know? Our families are friends, I've known her ever since-"

"What was your name again, sorry?" You couldn't listen to him try to redeem himself any longer, it hurt honestly. He didn’t need to defend you just because she pretended not to remember you. Sure, he always jumped to your defence, no matter what. But it pained you to watch him get so flustered at how awfully this first impression was going.

“Olivia.” She smiled weakly.

“That’s a lovely name.” You returned the gesture, but really it was more pointed towards your best friend.

James on the other hand just dropped his head low. He wasn’t sure what had come over his girlfriend, she had never acted so abrupt since he had met her. Maybe it was the nerves? Meeting new people can be scary for some, especially when meeting your new boyfriend's best friend. He hoped that was all it was.

“Well, I’m going to go grab a drink.” You broke the awkward silence that had settled over the three of you. It was only then, that you had time to think about the situation you were actually in.

James had gotten a girlfriend. The mere thought of James being with someone that wasn’t you, made your throat close up and struggle with strained breaths. The official dumbfounded aftershock had settled from your mind and you were now on the verge of tears thinking about James and another.

You were always one to laugh in the face of such stupidity. But now you looked at James as he smiled at Olivia, leaning forward to peck the corner of her mouth. She then reached up to wipe the red lipstick from his lips with a perfectly manicured hand.

God, were you going to be sick?

“You okay, Y/N?” James's question confirmed that not only did you feel like being sick, you must have looked it too.

“Yeah, you look a bit pale.” Not right now, thanks, Olivia.

“Drink…” You murmured, “I’m going to get a drink, you guys want one?” You barely gave the two any time to answer before you were traipsing off away from them, towards the drink table.

To your luck, Sirius and Remus were sitting on the faux leather couch beside the table that was topped with too many liquors to choose from. It was times like this you needed James, he was the one to always make your drinks for you. You were sure he probably realised that too, as soon as you said you were getting your own drink, not him. But there was no way you could be around him at this moment.

You didn’t even attempt to mix your own concoction, just walked over to the two boys draped over each other and squeezed yourself in between them. As soon as you found yourself settled, you let yourself take in one of those quick, staggered breaths. The kind of ones that always felt good when you were crying, but the situation surrounding them was never pleasing. You always hated that you could only find yourself doing it if you were a crying mess.

“Y’right, love?” Sirius questioned as he shifted so you could be more comfortable between him and Remus. Your cold body a harsh comparison to Remus’s warm, cosy one. He probably would’ve scolded you if you didn’t look so distraught.

“You met Olivia?” Remus questioned, coming to the conclusion his boyfriend couldn’t. His large, scarred hand came up to brush the flyaways from your damp cheeks.

All you did was nod against his hand, picking at your nails in your lap. Your mouth was downturned in a small frown which was disturbed by a hiccup.

“She’s a right twat, isn’t she?” Sirius laughed bitterly, “Dunno where he found her.” He made her sound like a lost puppy. Though it seemed like she was the way she trailed behind James, always with a hand around his wrist or hip. They needed a leash.

“Rubbish tip.” Remus laughed as well, his shoulders falling backwards. Sirius just snickered beside you.

Normally you weren’t one for talking down on women. Neither were they, honestly. But right now you didn’t care. She may or may not have deserved it, but at the moment it felt like she did.

You couldn’t even be angry at her. Maybe you could be angry at James for being such a naive, selfish, egotistical, self-centred prick. God, even describing him that way felt wrong. Felt good to think, but you knew there was zero meaning behind your thoughts. You could only be angry at yourself for being so self-seeking. You should’ve told him how you felt years ago when you had the chance. Because now that chance had been missed by a mile. Because, he looked happy, right? Who were you to fuck that up for him?

“She probably picked him up there.” You mumbled through wet lips. “Fucking idiot.”

“Jesus, Y/N.” Sirius laughed, though his eyebrows were pulled together, “When did you get so hard on him?”

“Are you serious?”

“That’s what they call me.”

“Fuck up,” Remus reached behind you to swat him up the head. Sirius just glared at him, rubbing his hair with a ring-clad hand.

“He shows up with her, and you expect me, to be happy about it?” You weren’t sure if you were sad or angry. Probably a mix of both.

“Look, maybe she’s just a phase?” Sirius rubbed his hand across your leg in a soothing matter. To which you only grabbed it in your own, your eyes tracing over his tattoos to distract yourself from everything happening.

“Yeah. Just a phase.”

Nausea started to settle in your stomach as bile was urging its way to leave your throat. You weren't sure if it was the amount of alcohol you had consumed on an empty stomach. Or if it was because when your eyes lazily scanned the room, they settled on the happy couple right before you at the drinks table. James pouring himself and Olivia a drink, as she had her arm draped around his waist, firmly holding him to her side. You were sure it wasn't in a romantic manner, but more of an overprotective one.

You observed as James noticed you between his other best friends, his eyes lighting up momentarily behind his glasses. He pulled himself from Olivia's overbearing grip, her face scrunching up into a scowl as she watched where the boy had been making his way over to.

"I feel sick," You began to excuse yourself, pushing yourself up off of the couch, bearing your weight on the two boys' inside thighs. Remus just looked at the boy beside him with a pained look, sensing your uncomfortable feeling was only because James was beelining towards you.

"Y/N?" James asked in that tone he only reserved for you, his hand on your shoulder sent a shiver up your back, his warm hand a stark comparison against your clammy skin. You felt yourself wanting to lean into his touch but you could feel Olivia's eyes burning into your back. You held yourself back, pulling yourself from his grip.

He looked so pretty tonight, it almost hurt. The sleeves of his brown sweater rolled up mid-arm, showing off the veins you knew he loved. His dark locks overgrowing their usual length, you almost wanted to reach up and brush them away from his eyes. You probably would’ve told him to get a haircut tonight, but you couldn’t fall into the comfortable conversation you always did with him. Not right now.

If you weren't fisting at your eyes with clamped hands, you would've seen the hurt look spread across James' face. You had never been one to pull away from him.

"Y'alright love?"

"Fuck," you mumbled under your breath, "Please don't ask me that. Why does everyone keep asking me that?" You pulled your lips together to form a firm line, your hand raised to rest on your forehead.

"You look properly ill, s'all." He laughed firmly.

"Thanks, James." You laughed back, no form of happiness actually behind the huff of air.

"What? No, I didn't mean it like that!" He bent down to look into your eyes, pulling your hand from your face to place it at your side. You couldn't even look him in the face, eyeing off every corner of the room instead of being met with his concerned eyes, "You drink too much, or...?"

"I'm just gonna go back to my dorm." You turned to wave the other two boys another goodbye, both their hands waving in a pitiful manner.

You didn't spare James or his new girlfriend a second goodbye, turning away from the both of them to make your way over towards the front door.

"I'll see you later then, yeah?" James raised his hand in the air as he watched you walk away, a confused frown across his face.

You turned one last time to unforgivingly look at the group. All you saw was Olivia pulling his arm down, and grabbing him by the jaw to lay a kiss on his face. James's lips turned towards the girl but his big confused doe eyes were still trained on you as you slipped out the door.

A phase right? God, you only wished that’s what they were. Where ever you looked around your university campus you would only be met with James and Olivia making out in the Library or in hallways, and if they weren't eating each other's faces, they would always find some way to be all over each other.

At first, you wanted to be angry with James. Wanted to hate him for doing this to you. But it didn't take you long to realise that whatever he had going on with Olivia, had absolutely nothing to do with you. Why would it? You and James had never had anything between you that was nothing but platonic. He could do what he wanted, even though you felt like it was wrong and she was bad for him.

You had never brought this up with him, never wanted to overstep. Never told him how, no matter how nice and amazing she seemed to him, Olivia could have been one of the worst people you had ever met. He was so blinded by love, it was ridiculous.

"How long have you known?" You questioned Sirius and Remus, perched up on James' bed in their dorm. You had always gone to the two for advice with James whenever he was out, they always knew how you felt towards your best friend.

"Know what?" Sirius questioned, running his fingers through Remus's hair, as his head was situated in his lap.

"Sirius..." You sighed.

"Look, we didn't know for long." He coughed, Remus eyeing him from the corner of his eye in a scolding manner.

"If you're just going to lie to me," You went to get up from the bed but stopped as Remus quickly sat up from Sirius's hold.

"Not long," Remus let out, causing you to pause your movements, "A few weeks at most. We didn't think they were that serious."

"Yeah, she honestly just seemed like a one-night stand." You sat back down to listen to what Sirus had to say, "That was until she kept hanging around our dorm and showing up to rugby practice,"

"Why have I never seen her before?"

"I don't know, you've been so busy lately with assignments and shit." Sirius huffed out a laugh but his smile quickly faded at your concerned look, "Look, as we said, they weren't that serious. Their relationship was much of a shock to us as it was to you."

You let out a loud huff, throwing yourself onto your back, leaning your head into James's pillows. The soft material falls around your head, enveloping you in his cologne and laundry detergent. You could've let out a small cry at the overwhelming sense of him. It had been a while since you had been around him, not letting yourself face him since you had met Olivia. You weren't sure if you felt guilty yourself, or angry at him. But it was too much.

You threw your hands to your face, covering your eyes that pricked with small tears. The boys could sense your uncomfortableness, their faces down turning into frowns as they heard little sniffles from underneath the pillow.

Sirius got up to walk over to you, his knees pressing into the firm mattress, "You want to be left alone for a bit?"

You nodded through the plush material, wiping at your damp cheeks, "Yes please," You sniffled.

"Alrighty, we'll come back later."

"Thank you."

You weren’t sure how long it took you to fall asleep, but you were assuming it wasn’t long. Because when you were awoken by a warm hand on your calf, your eyes, expecting to be stung by the bright light they fell asleep to, were welcomed by a dark hue shining through the curtains.

“Hey,” James soothed, giving your leg a small squeeze.

Your eyes shot open momentarily, bringing your hand to wipe the drool from your lips. “Shit, sorry James.” You cleared your throat, throwing your legs over the side of his bed.

“What for, love?”

You winced at the all-too-familiar pet name he gave you, one you normally would willingly accept with a smile, but you now shunned with a crease between your eyebrows.

Not only did the strained look not go unnoticed by James, but it also had him wringing his hands together, concerned about why all of a sudden you flinched at every pet name and caring word he would give you. Usually, you would reciprocate every nickname with one even more cheesy. Now he was only met with a frown.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I was talking to the boys and I...” You inhaled sharply. You couldn’t help the change in demeanour, you had been avoiding him for a week and now he was all of a sudden at the foot of his bed, his thumb rubbing circles into your leg. “Got too comfy, I guess.” You sheepishly admitted, blush rising up your cheeks, pulling your chin to your chest.

“S’alright,” he reached out to brush the hair sticking to your clammy, post-nap skin, “I missed you, where you been?”

“You know where to find me,”

“Yeah, I know that. You’ve jus’ been a little distant, s’all.”

You inhaled sharply, biting back the urge to just blurt out everything you’ve been wanting to say to him since the last time you were together.

Oh, I don’t know, James? Maybe I’ve realised that our relationship meant a lot more to me than it did to you. For the last week, I spent every waking hour wondering what I did wrong to make you change everything about us. Blaming myself for ever wanting you that way in the first place. Realising that I’m probably the stupidest, most naive person to ever walk this planet. But, no, I’m not sure why I’ve been so distant.

But no, you couldn’t say a single thing to him. And you would never. You were the bigger person and you were going to prove that to not only yourself but to everyone else. You could be happy for him, you could push your feelings aside and be there for him. Because he was your best friend, and you loved him. No matter if your feelings were reciprocated or not, you could do it. No matter how much it hurt.

“Y/N?” He waved his hand across your unfocused line of sight, “You’re only proving my point here.”

You blinked lightly, straightening your back out, “Yeah, sorry. Been a little sick. Y’know whatever Remus had last week? Yeah, I think I caught that off him.”

“Oh okay.” He sighed, biting on his bottom lip gently, “You should’ve told me. Y’know I’m fun to be around when you’re sick.”

You couldn’t help but let the smile you were fighting overtake your face, but not quite letting it reach your eyes, “Yeah I know.” You trailed off slightly, “I just thought you would’ve been busy with Olivia, s’all.”

“Yeah, we have been a little busy, I guess.” He wiggled his eyebrows, elbowing you in your side. All you could do was giggle weakly. Pretending to be happy for him was going to be hard. But, you could do it. “You should hang out with us sometime. She’d love to get to know you.”

“Olivia?” You huff air from your nose, “Get to know me? I don’t know, we’re not exactly the same.” The same? Weren't even close. Polar opposites in fact. The fact you were so dissimilar made you wonder why you ever thought he would be interested in you of all people.

She held herself with such beauty and respect and clearly looked like she had had the ground she walked on, worshipped ever since she was born. Not saying she didn't have her struggles or hardships, we all do. But, she just looked so above that.

And of course, you found yourself beautiful- on a good day. But her beauty was different. Like she was born with it. Like she never had to discover herself and everything came so naturally to her. A natural beauty.

“Yeah, you guys have heaps in common!” You could’ve snorted at that. But, you didn’t.

“Yeah? I doubt it.”

“Why would you say that?” God, you really didn’t want to talk about this right now. It was like holding a hot poker to a fresh wound. But, you could suck it up.

“I don’t know.” You mumbled to him. “She just doesn’t seem to be anything like me.” She wasn’t you.

“Yeah! She’s into that band you like. ABBA!” He clasped your shoulder, smiling giddily. You hadn’t listened to ABBA in a very long time. Years probably. Of course, James knew that because you both liked the same things. “And she’s really funny.” Again, you could’ve snorted. “Not as funny as you, though. Don’t tell her I said that.”

Cutting his confession short, he pulls his phone out that was buzzing in his back pocket, “Speak of the devil.” He grins.

The devil.

“Hey, sweet thing.” He spoke into the phone. Good fucking lord, you hated this.

Straight away, you were drowning out whatever it was James was talking to Olivia about over the phone. Not wanting to awkwardly impose.

But it wasn’t long before the muffled voice you had pushed to the back of your mind was breaking through, as James began to raise his voice. You wanted to ignore whatever he was yelling about, but you found yourself listening in intently.

“I know, love! But it means a lot to me!” He was waving his hands in the air, huffing loudly.

You could only just hear Olivia’s voice through the other end. Screaming at him for not being able to make it to a concert he had been promising to take her to. They had been together for only two weeks and it sounded like she already had him on some sort of short leash.

“It’s the grand final! I’m sorry, I didn’t know they were on the same day.” He now had his hand in his hair, pulling tightly at his overgrown locks.

Then there was more yelling from her end.

“Look, I can’t help it that I’m the star of the show. The boys will be lost without me.” James laughed lightly to ease the situation, but the tension was quickly cut short by the sound of the hang-up dial tone ringing from his phone.

He huffed out again, chucking his phone next to you on his bed, “I mustn’t be that funny.”

You couldn't help the smile on your face, “I thought it was a little funny.”

“Yeah, you would. You’re as awful as me.”

James found his way back to his spot next to you on his bed, leaning his shoulder into you, this time you just allowed him to be this close to you. "You'll come, right?"

"Hmm?" You hummed, bringing your eyes from the spot where your thighs touched, to his face next to yours.

"The grand final. You're coming, right?"

"Have I ever missed one of your games?"

"Yeah, last weeks." You wanted to slap the smug look off of his face.

"I was sick." Lie. Obviously.

"I know, I'm only kidding." He nudged your shoulder with his own.

"Yeah, and it's the only one I've ever missed, anyways." You reached out to push his glasses up his nose, "Of course, I'll come. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good, because I only play well when you're there." He crinkled his nose at your touch, "You're my little good luck charm. A four-leaf clover, if you will."

"Sure I am."

"It's true, I lost last week's game and what was I missing?"

"Okay, I get it, James," He really knew how to make something ten times harder than it had to be.

"You."

"I'll be there."

"Good."

"I"ll have a hot chocolate, thanks, Sirius." You rubbed your gloved hands together, puffing a cloud of fog out past your cold lips, dramatically.

"I'm about to go start warming up." He frowned at you, tying the laces on his cleats. "Get Remus to get you a drink."

"He has no money and I don't know where James put my bag." You pout lightly as he had now moved his tying skills to his hair, making sure to pull every last strand into the low ponytail.

"I'm sure it's in his locker." Sirius laughed at your fake pout, huffing at your lack of reply. "Fine. There's money in my bag. Grab me a drink for afterwards please, babes."

"Thank you, Siri." You laugh, leaning up to peck his cheek with a cold smooch, "Good luck!"

"Go find James before you run off. He's nervous."

"He has Olivia, she should be here by now."

Sirius raised his eyebrow at you, "Did James not tell you?" You shake your head, urging him to continue, "Olivia's not coming, she decided to go to that concert with someone else."

You furrowed your eyebrows deeply, seething with anger. The fog from your nose almost whistles comically, "She what?"

"I know. S'bullshit." Sirius stood from the bench he was seated at, jumping up and down, the studs from his boots smacking against the concrete floor of the shed.

"Fuck, some girlfriend she is."

"Don't say anything to James about it, he'll only defend her. He's been doing it all morning."

"They make me sick."

"Anyways," Sirius pecked the top of your beanie, pushing you out the door, "Quickly go find James and wish him luck. Remus is probably sitting by himself."

"Okay, Okay."

You made your way to the edge of the field to find James with a few other teammates, running up and down a small patch of frostbitten grass. You watched as his calves strained through his gold and maroon socks, little bits of grass stuck to his skin. You loved him in his rugby clothes. He always opted for choosing a jersey that was a little too small. He blamed it on optimal flexibility for when he was running around. You blamed it on him wanting his muscles to stand out more. You weren't complaining though, he looked amazing.

He still had his glasses on, a weird superstition he had. They had to stay on until he was about to run onto the field. You thought it was cute, watching him train before a game, struggling to keep them from slipping down his nose.

"James!" You waved over at him.

His eyes lit up, veering from his running path to slow to a jog over towards you. "Jeez, love. Aren't ya cold?" He huffed, rubbing his colder hands up and down your arms, over the thin fabric of your jumper. Giving up almost immediately at the lack of heat his friction was causing, opting to wrap his strong arms around your front instead.

You peered up at him, your arms pinned to your sides, "Yeah, Remus has my jacket. I'll put it back on when I go sit down." You beamed up at him, your nose almost touching his chin. "You nervous?"

"Not anymore." He gave you a small squeeze before letting you go. Maybe you were a little cold because you almost whined at the loss of small heat he was providing you. "How can I be nervous when my good luck charm is back?"

"Well, don't get too big for your boots."

"Never." He smiled at you, his cheeks creasing around his mouth.

You reached up to grab his glasses from his face, your fingertips ghosting over his temples, "What have I told you about this little superstition? Hmm?"

You folded the arms of the glasses, slipping them into the sleeve of your cardigan. "You'll break these and cry to me about how expensive a new pair is."

"Yeah, sorry, Mum." He pulled his chin to his chest, jutting his lip out.

"Whatever," you rolled your eyes at his antics, "I'm going to get a warm drink, Remus probably misses me."

"Okay," he was now also kissing your beanie, patting your shoulder, "Go get warm."

"Good luck."

It wasn't long before the game was over. James' team, obviously winning by a mile. You and Remus moved to the shed where the team had gathered, their cheers and general hubbub spewing from the windows and filling the small university stadium.

You found James' curly head through the wave of rugby players cramped into the underfunded team shed. You left Remus's side as he made his way to Sirius, enveloping him in his long arms, nothing but pride in his eyes as he planted a kiss on his lips. They made your longing heart ache with how affectionate they were towards each other. Wanting that with someone else, someday.

"James." You poked him on his shoulder, standing behind him as he laughed at something with some of his teammates, "Mr Potter!"

He turned on the spot and you watched him squint his eyes at you before smiling grandly and throwing his arms around your waist. He lifted you from the ground, spinning you around in the cramped space, you let out a loud giggle as he planted you back to the ground.

"Maybe I am a little bit of a good luck charm?" You laughed again, pulling his glasses from where you had kept them in your sleeve, and placing them back on his face.

"Just a little bit." He scrunched his nose to lift the glasses snug to his face.

"No, it was definitely all you." You poked him on his sweaty chest, him swaying on the balls of his feet. You giggled at the sound of his cleats clicking against the floor.

"Mhm." He stared down at you happily, "Anyways, you coming to the after-party?"

You pretended to think about it deeply for a moment before speaking up again, "Uh, yeah, I think so."

"Okay good." He smiled even more, god he was a happy boy sometimes. Too happy. Something you missed. "Anyways, I'll go clean up. We gonna walk back to our dorms?"

After every home game, the both of you always made the short walk from the university sports ground, back to school. Stopping off at the park on the way.

"Yeah, I'll go find the boys and say goodbye. See you outside?"

"Yeah." More of that smile you had missed.

"I couldn’t see you.” James offered you his hand as you climbed up onto the bridge of the playground set at the park.

“Hmm?” You hummed, swinging your legs out over the edge.

“In the seats. I couldn’t find you the entire game, I thought you’d left or something.”

“Oh yeah, as soon as you scored that second try, I was out of there. Knew you would win.” You smiled at him smugly, watching as his own smile turned into a playful scowl.

“Shut up!” He pushed you with his shoulder, causing you to fall sideways and catch yourself with an outstretched arm.

“No, Remus and I watched from over at the canteen, it was much warmer.”

“Oh okay.” He smiled at you again. Looking at his upturned lips, and shining eyes. You realised you hadn’t seen him smile this much in at least a month. You wondered if it was because he was now with Olivia. Because the very cheerful, always smiling James had been lost on you ever since they got together.

There was a small, comfortable silence over the both of you, both of your inside legs swinging in a synchronous rhythm. You decided to speak up, “So, where was Olivia?” You didn’t ask to give him a hard time. Or maybe you did, maybe after watching him play today and seeing him so happy, you’d scold him over his absent girlfriend.

You could see his eyes drop at the mention of her name, the ghost of his smile officially gone. James didn’t want to explain why she hadn’t turned up, he was sort of embarrassed.

“Uh, she couldn’t make it. Y’know that concert I was supposed to take her to?” You nodded, “Yeah, I gave my ticket to one of her friends.”

“Oh okay,” You couldn’t do it. Couldn’t not talk to him about it. You hesitated only for a moment before opening your mouth, “Are you two okay?”

“What do you mean?” He didn’t look at you. Like he was expecting you to say something about it. He had ever since you had met his new girlfriend. He was surprised you’d lasted this long, honestly.

“Well, I don’t know.” You inhaled sharply, you hoped not to overstep with the upcoming conversation you had been wanting to have for a while, “I mean, she didn’t show up today. And I know this was a big day for you.”

“It’s okay. I feel bad, I promised I’d take her and it just ended up falling on the wrong day.” He was fiddling with his hands in his lap, his leg coming to a standstill, “It’s my fault, really.”

“James,” You scolded him. Could he not hear how stupid he sounded? “Don’t do that. How could you be expected to not show up to the grand final of all games?”

“I mean, I guess. Especially because it’s my last game with this university.” He tensed beside you like he’d let something slip accidentally.

“What do you mean? What about next year?” You frowned at him, “You’re not quitting are you?”

“No. No, definitely not.” He pulled away from you, letting the cold air run between the new gap through your arms. “I was going to tell you at the party tonight. But I’ve decided to transfer university's.”

You froze at his words. He was what? He was joking, surely. Another one of his stupid jokes. He took your silence to further his explanation.

“The boys graduate this year, and I want to move to the university to the city over, to be with Olivia.” He wasn’t even looking at you. Coward.

“Oh?” That was all you could manage to say.

His words were like a stab to the heart. You and him had always planned to finish university together. Ever since you were little, you had everything mapped out. And now just because of some relationship he’d had for just over a month, he was abandoning you? Well not really abandoning you, not everything he did had to involve you. But it made you feel like everything you had ever had with James had now officially been thrown out the window.

“Y/N?” He waved his hand across your face, “Are you okay with that?”

If I wasn’t? Would you stay just for me? If I asked you to leave her and stay with me, would you?

You could’ve smacked him up the fucking head. He was so stupid. Actually no, you were stupid for ever falling for such a stupid boy.

“Yeah!” You feigned excitement, swallowing the lump in your throat, “Yeah, you guys seem pretty serious.”

“You could say that.” He coughed, awkwardly at that. “It was her idea, but I think it’ll be good. New beginnings.”

Was it you? Had you done something to make him want to move away? You couldn’t help but think that it was your fault. Maybe because you had been distancing yourself from him for the past month, he had realised that he didn’t need you anymore. He could move on from whatever childhood friendship he had with you and begin his life.

Were you being dramatic?

“New beginnings.”

“Hey, maybe once you graduate you can move up there? I think the boys are. Not sure yet though.” Was that a pity invite? Fuck.

“Yeah, maybe. We’ll see.” You gave him a small lopsided smile as he placed his hand atop yours on your thigh.

“We better get going. I gotta shower before the party and shit.”

Great, a party. Now, instead of going back to your dorm and overthinking everything he had just told you. You had to overthink and mope around surrounded by drunken rugby players, and their respected partners.

The party had eventually rolled around, after having a shower and dressing in your most university-approved dress, you were standing outside the pub, your friends Marlene and Lily hooked around your elbows.

They had convinced you to spend the night having the most fun possible, forgetting about your stupid best friend who seemed not to care about you. Because he for sure was going to.

“Y/N, babe.” Marlene squeezes your arm, “Forget him. What’s better? James fucking Potter? Or a shot of fireball?”

“A shot of vodka.”

“See, now you’re getting it!”

The three of you pushed through the front door to be met with a crowd of your school’s rugby players around the bar, James in the middle sculling a pint of what looked like beer. The dark stout running down his chin and falling onto his, conveniently dark top, masking the stains.

The rowdy boys cheered when he finished the beer within five seconds flat before he slammed the glass atop the bar countertop. You couldn’t help but stare as he wiped the beer from his face, breaking out into a boyish smile. Your eyes trailed down his chest, covered by a tight black top, down to his trousered legs. He looked good, you wouldn’t lie. Amazing even.

“Alrighty, let’s get some vodka into you.” Lily snapped you from your daze, pulling you towards the bar. Conveniently standing next to Sirius perched against the wood, ordering some drinks.

“Where’s, Rem?” You leant over to ask him, leaving the drink ordering to Marlene.

“Hello to you too, Y/N.” He smiled, handing the bartender some money, “He’s over by the fireplace, probably sculling his last beer.”

“Great, he’s drinking. If he’s getting drunk, so am I.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

Your conversation was interrupted by Marlene handing you a pink drink, a smile plastered across her face. “I’ll see you later.” Then Sirius was off, headed towards Remus with two beers in hand.

“Here’s to meatheads winning rugby games!” Marlene cheered, clinking your glasses together before you were all downing them as quick as possible.

"Meatheads? Cmon Marls, you don't mean that." You heard James's voice behind you before he had his arm slung over your shoulders. A boyish grin on his face.

"Of course I do, Potter. You're the biggest meathead of them all." She sniggered behind her glass, eyeing him over the rim.

"Why would you say something like that?" He feigned shock, hand over his chest.

"Well maybe because little miss Y/N-"

"She doesn't mean it, she's just being stupid!" You cut Marlene short, glaring at her from the side of your eye before turning your attention to James, giving him a pinched smile.

"How's your night been?" You turn away from the girls, feeling their glares burning into the back of your head, cocking your head to James.

"Really good," He smiled some more, pulling you away from the crowd at the bar, over to the seats near the fireplace. Just a few metres away from Sirius and Remus. "Even better now that you're here."

Fuck. His hopeless flirting was nothing out of the ordinary, but it still hurt knowing there were no actual feelings behind them like you always hoped there were.

You wanted to maybe shamelessly flirt back with him, but then you remembered the news he told you just a few hours earlier at the park. You straightened out your back, folding your arms over your chest.

"Is Olivia here?" You didn't even acknowledge what he said.

"Uh, yeah. She's around here somewhere." Great.

You scanned your eyes across the room, fidgeting with your hands and bouncing your leg up and down. You wanted more than anything to get up and go find your friends and down a few more drinks. The thought of for once, not wanting to surround yourself with James, hurt a little bit. You had never felt that way about him, ever.

Though, you thought of an excuse to get up, "Hey, you want a beer?"

"Yeah, I'll go grab us a drink."

"No! It's okay, I will." You stood abruptly, "My shout for the man of the match." You cleared your throat before you spun on your heels and headed towards the bar.

"Uh, pint of Guinness and a vodka tonic, please." You smiled to the bartender, leaning against the bar and bending one of your legs behind you.

You waited for the bartender to pour your drinks, tapping your fingers against the wood and turning back to look at James. But, when you look back you're not only met with James sitting on the lounge, you see Olivia sitting in your seat, leaning over and kissing James on his cheek, leaving a deep red lipstick stain on his dark skin. James only giggled, wiping the wet mark off his face.

You feel yourself shrink in toward yourself, wanting nothing more than to just leave. But, you promised your friends a good night. You could forget about him and just have fun. It would be easy.

The bartender brings your attention back to the bar when they place your drinks down, you turn to thank them and give them your money. By the time you had gotten your change and picked up the glasses and turn back to head towards your seat, you found the lounge to be empty. You scanned the bar to find them both, only to see James leading Olivia out into the beer garden by her hand.

You swallow deeply, instead, making your way to your group of friends surrounding the enclosed fireplace in the middle of the room. You fall into the seat next to Lily, careful not to spill the drinks in your hands.

"Here." You lean over to Sirius, handing him the beer in your hand which was slowly going flat. "Got this for James, but he fucked off somewhere."

"Thanks, lovely." He willingly took the beer from your grasp, bringing the glass to his lips.

"You need to stop thinking about him, he's a fucking dick," Marlene speaks up, sipping from the half-empty drink in her hand. Her other hand over a thigh belonging to a girl you'd never met. God, was everyone this lucky with finding love? Marlene might not have even loved that girl, but fuck she was doing better than you.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but she's right," Sirius added, placing his drink on his coaster.

"Always am."

"Hmm, debatable."

"I know how we can get you to forget about Potter."

Before you knew it, it was starting to get late, you had thrown back too many vodka tonics and you were sitting in the lap of a random guy you had met a few hours earlier.

You weren't too drunk, but tipsy enough to let your friends convince you that the only way you could move past your relationship with James, was to hook up with another one of the rugby players.

Sober you, probably would've said no, but after the day you'd had, you decided that it wasn't a half-bad idea. You weren't tied to anything, especially not James Potter, so you went with it.

Now you were in the beer garden, sitting under a gas heater that was doing nothing at heating you up. Your ass pressed into some boy's front, your head turned to reach his mouth to make out with him.

You moved your mouth along his, his tongue moving into your mouth. You ran your hands along his chest, but his mouth enveloping yours was beginning to overwhelm you, so you pulled away to angle your head so his mouth was at your neck, as he sucked along your skin.

You opened your eyes momentarily to see James over the guy's shoulder, eyeing you down. He had a beer in his hand, his knuckles white from how hard he was gripping the frosted glass. If you didn't know any better you'd think he was angry.

You let in a sharp breath at the bite on your neck, pushing the stranger away from you and jumping from his lap. "I'm sorry, I feel a bit sick," You lied to him, turning to walk away. "I might head home."

"Hey wait," He grabbed your wrist lightly to spin you back around, "You want me to call you an Uber?"

"Uh, yeah sure, just let me go say goodbye to my friends." You walked away from him as he pulled out his phone, to what you assumed was to call you a lift home.

You let everyone know that you planned on going home, letting them know you'd see them later. You then let the rugby player walk you out the front to wait for the Uber he had called you.

But, to James, it looked like you and one of his teammates had decided to move it along and you were taking him back to your dorm to hook up. He didn't realise it until that moment, but the thought of you bringing home a guy that wasn't him made his stomach flip and his fists clench in anger.

What did his teammate want with you that wasn't anything more than a quick fuck? He wouldn't take you home and treat you with the love and respect you deserved, something James knew he could give to you.

Something he always had given to you up until a month ago. But now he had pushed you away, just to find love in a place where he didn't want it. He had selfishly gotten with Olivia, just to get over the best friend he knew didn't want him. He had been naive and stupid and he hated himself every day for it.

"Oi! Sirius!" He called out to his mate, leaving Olivia's side to jog over to him, "Where's she going with him?"

"She's going home." He gruffed, "Why do you care all of a sudden?"

"What?"

"Don't act like you suddenly want to know what she's doing just cause she's with some other guy." That's exactly what he was doing.

"I need to tell her something."

"Gonna go remind her that you're leaving her at the end of the year, huh? Rub it in some more?" Why was Sirius all of a sudden so angry with him?

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"My problem?" He scoffed in James's face, putting his drink down, "My problem is how you've been treating Y/N lately. Going off and getting with some bird you obviously don't like, acting like you didn't know Y/N has been in love with you since primary school."

Sirius obviously had been wanting to say this to James for a very long time, the words spewing from his mouth like they had been rehearsed.

"Sirius!" Remus stood to pull on his boyfriend's shoulder, rubbing it to hopefully calm him down.

"No! The dickhead needs to hear this before I knock some sense into his thick head." He pushed James at his chest, causing him to stumble backwards slightly.

"Don't push me, Sirius." James was now the one beginning to get angry.

"No, you've been a shit best friend these last few weeks and I'm fucking sick of it. Y/N doesn't deserve any of it. She's just too fucking nice to say anything."

"Say what?" James felt his heart beating in his chest, wringing his hands at his sides.

"She fucking loves you, mate."

God, why were you so stupid? Why did you think you could get over James by making out with some other guy? If anything, it only solidified your feelings for him even more. Made you realise that no one could ever fill the void in your heart which was the hole James had created.

You had eventually made it back to your dorm room, throwing your phone to your bed, now pacing back and forth across the carpeted floor of the room. Tears streamed down your face, black trails of mascara smudging along your cheeks. Your breathing quickened as you fisted at your eyes to calm yourself down.

The dull ache in your ears was disrupted as a knock at your door disturbed your meaningless pacing. Before you even had time to head towards the door, there was more pounding.

"Fuck, I'm- I'm coming!" You called out, wiping the tears from your face, albeit with no actual cause to make it look like you hadn't been crying.

You swung the door open to be met with a panting James leaning up against your door frame, "James?" You quickly whipped your head to the side, careful to not let him see your distressed face. This only allowed James to push his way past you, into your dorm.

He stood in the middle of the room, his hands on his hips. "I need to talk to you," He was a panting and huffing mess, his chest heaving with purpose.

"Did-" You blink the old tears away, scanning over his dishevelled appearance. His shoelaces were half undone, there were sweat patches in the armpits of his dark top, and the mop of dark curls which earlier tonight had been slicked back into place, were now a mess atop his head. "Did you run here?"

"Yes." He panted, admitting it like it was nothing.

"Jesus, Potter. We were on the other side of town," You walked around him, avoiding asking why he was actually here, "Do you need some water?"

"What? No-"

"Sit down,"

"No, fuck- Y/N! Shut up..." He was clearly flustered, you tried not to take his words to heart, but you were already upset with him. "Sorry." He apologised, the crease above your eyebrows and your fidgety hands making him regret raising his voice.

"Sure."

"Sorry." He repeated, his breathing finally calming down. "I need to tell you something,"

"Okay." You fought the subconscious urge to reach out and smooth out his hair.

"I'm sorry for how I've been treating you lately." He began, doing his own pacing now. He looked really nervous, "I've been so stupid. I'm a fucking idiot.''

"You could say that again," you only scoffed, the crooked smile on your face disappearing quickly at the look of his frustrated face, "Sorry." Now you were apologising.

To be quite honest, he looked like he was going to throw up. His pacing had stopped, but his sudden silence had you on edge, "James, you're making me nervous,"

"Sorry!"

"Fuck, stop apologising and just tell me why you're here!" Honestly, all you wanted to hear from him til' the end of days were apologies, but right now you needed him the get on with it.

"There's no way to say this without skipping over any details," He was trailing off again, lost in his own thoughts.

"Potter..."

"I love you..."

You swallowed thickly, "Yeah, I love you too, James..."

"No!" He cut you off again abruptly, "No, like," More. Fidgeting. "I'm in love with you."

He was kidding, right? Surely this was just another one of his pranks. He was with Olivia and you knew, no you were certain, he only had feelings for her. Did Sirius say something to him? Was he only saying this be annoying? Dangling the one thing you've always wanted to have, right in front of your face, just out of reach. Saying the words you've always wanted to hear.

You shook your head quickly, backing away from him. Though he only took a step towards you, "No you're not."

"What?"

"You're being cruel, James." Now there were fresh tears pricking the corners of your eyes. "You don't mean that. You're with Olivia"

"What are you- Yes I do! Of course, I do." He outstretched a hand towards you, though you only ignored it. "Listen, I was talking to Sirius, I know how you-"

"Oh, so you spoke to Sirius? Whatever he said, he was lying."

"No, he wasn't, I'm not stupid Y/N." You had now sat down on your bed, him wasting no time in sitting down next to you, "He told me everything. Well, not really everything, but I just want you to know, that I feel the exact same way."

"But, Olivia?"

"It's so shitty, but I only used her to get past you." He admits, picking at his nails, "I thought you would never see me as anything more than a friend, so I thought I could move on."

You just stared at him, listening to every word he had to say. You had always dreamt of these words leaving his mouth, and now that they finally were, you felt dizzy.

"I'm so sorry I never told you any of this sooner. I've been such a dick to you these past few weeks." He was now reaching out to trace the mascara tracks down your cheeks, his touch sending a chill down your spine. You now finally allowed yourself to lean into him. “It’s crazy because the one thing I’ve wanted- no, I’ve needed. Has been right in front of me this whole time, and I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to figure it out.”

"It's okay,"

"No, it's not." His hand retreated, "It's really not."

"It will be."

"It will?"

"I think so. It always has been."

"Yeah," He hummed, nodding his head, his eyes fixed in his lap. "It's always been you." He mumbled into the open air.

You sat in silence momentarily before his hand had settled atop yours on the sheets between your bodies, "I really am sorry."

"Enough with the apologies."

You both sat on your bed for the rest of the night, your head in his lap as he massaged your head and you spoke about everything that had happened in the past month. More apologies fell from his mouth, which you only scolded. There were more tears, more confessions and truths as you both realised how clueless the both of you had been ever since you met.

"Have we both always been this hopelessly and obliviously in love with each other?" He asked.

"I think so, Mr Potter." You only smiled up at him, "I think so."

#james potter x reader #james potter #hp #read later

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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 5 months

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୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ oh he looks so cute, wrapped around my finger! ⋄ 𓍯

….IN WHICH: i made a fic based of espresso by sabrina carpenter/luke is WHIPPED.

tags/warnings: toothrotting fluff, luke & reader is mentioned to have exes, ‘she was like a shot of espresso,’ kinda short, not proofread, not in my usual format.

ೃauthor notes⁀➷ sorry for not feeding yall for awhile i been busy asl☠️☠️!!!! my sister lowkey got hit by a car

—“now he’s thinkin’ about me every night.”

luke tossed and turned in the cabin, clearly getting on the nerves of the younger campers. he couldn’t help it, though. luke was never one to be able to sit still when giddy with excitement. y/n l/n was basically the only thing on his mind.

of course she was, she was on everyone’s mind. luke didn’t know what spell she cast on the boys at camp half-blood to make them look at her like olympus lost a god. y/n was like a shot of espresso to luke, she could wake up him at any time of night. just like now.

“jesus, luke. go to bed,” a younger camper complained with a huff. he mumbled a small sorry in response, trying to meditate himself to sleep. he’d felt quiet jealous of hypnos’ kids. maybe then—he’d be able to sleep.

—“too bad your ex don’t do it for ya!”

you were better than anyone else he’d ever have. anybody else wouldn’t compare, not in the slightest. his other exes seemed almost incompetent with you in his life.

they didn’t hold him the way you did, didn’t have him wrapped around your pretty fingers like you do. luke looked at the past with sympathy for his past self. ignorance is bliss. ignorance being, obviously, that he didn’t have the pleasure to call you his.

he didn’t know what you’d put in his coffee to make him love you like you personally paint the sunsets every evening.

luke couldn’t imagine himself with anyone else even if he tried. and, truthfully, neither could you. you can’t even fathom that you let anyone other than luke wrap their arms around you.

mutual love. but, of course, to him you were everything. his one and only.

—“oh, he looks so cute wrapped around my finger!”

“there goes your wife.” “wait, what? really?”

chris just meant to taunt him. a little bit of teasing between friends. he didn’t expect luke to almost get whiplash from how quick he turned his head to even catch a glimpse. the camp counsellor clicked his tongue, lightly shoving chris’ shoulder.

“that isn’t funny.” “well, i’m sorry, loverboy.” chris rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. he wanted to tell luke he currently sees you. but he knew he’d be shoved again. so he kept silent, listening to luke rant about his shitty sleep since his mind was racing.

luke felt your lips press against his cheek, a quiet ‘mwah’ sound being heard. you giggled at seeing his shocked expression, putting a hand on where you kissed. luke got a loopy grin on his face, looking you up and down.

“hi, luke.” “hey, hun,” he greeted, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. he kissed your temple gently, smiling slightly into the kiss.

chris took notice to the fact that luke’s slumped shoulders looked relaxed, his pinched brows were raised. he acted like he just downed a redbull the second you came around.

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan #pjo #I NEED A BF LIKE HIM ASAP

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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 5 months

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— two people, one umbrella ∘⁠˚⁠˳⁠° headcanons

the hoO boys when starts to rain and there's just one umbrella. ft. apollo

who's here: frank zhang, jason grace, leo valdez, percy jackson and apollo

warnings: none

a/n: its friday, so headcanons arrives here. kisses for y'all. enjoy.

— frank *⁠.⁠✧

This guy doesn't hesitate for a second, he's got you covered with the umbrella, most (if not all) of it.

"I don't want you getting sick," he says while holding the umbrella.

He's so tall he doesn't need to raise it any higher than necessary, and you keep pushing it toward the center so each of you gets at least a little covered.

He might pretend he's covered, but his shoulder is getting terribly soaked.

He's thinking about the shape-shift, imagining what it would be like if you had a canary on your shoulder while walking in the dry, safe rain.

But in the end, he obeys you. He takes your hand and tries to cover both of you (because he thought he might get sick, then you'd want to help him, and he doesn't want to bother you).

— jason *⁠.⁠✧

Once the umbrella is fully open, he figures out the best way for both of you to be covered, always putting you first in his mind.

He moves you in front of him, but he can see you might trip.

He considers just covering you, but he knows you'd both end up fighting and getting wet anyway.

So, he wraps his arm around your waist to pull you closer. Now, you're both under the umbrella, dry.

He smiles at you and takes advantage of the closeness to kiss your cheek and your knuckles.

“let me, my love” he says soflty if you try to help him with the umbrella.

He's the type to hold your hand and tuck it into his jacket to keep you warm.

Another thing he could do is control the air so the umbrella holds itself up and you can walk together even more comfortably.

— leo *⁠.⁠✧

"I already anticipated that!" he exclaimed when he saw that both of you weren't completely covered by the umbrella he was carrying and smiled eagerly at you.

He presses a button on the umbrella's handle and it expands even more, Hurray! You're both covered.

But...

As you continue walking on the sidewalk, Leo looks at other couples in similar positions, only much closer, cuddling and lovingly playing around, while the umbrella with the improvements he invented works so well that you even walk a bit away from him.

Oh no... :(

He wants to do those cheesy things with you too, and he plays the fool.

If a child of Hephaestus can fix something, they can also break it, so he presses the button too hard, for breaking it. The extra space is gone.

"What happened?" you ask confused, some drops start to wet your hair, and Leo smiles seeing how beautiful the dew looks on you,

he just shrugs "I don't know, I guess it doesn't work anymore" he says uninterestedly, and he pulls you to him impatiently,

definitely using some of his warmth so you don't get cold.

He adjusts himself, hugs you, and you walk together.

— percy *⁠.⁠✧

He literally gives a fuck if it rains or not, so the problem is, he never carries an umbrella.

But that's because he can control his waterproofing. If Percy Jackson doesn't want to get wet, he won't, but you're not him.

"Don't worry, babe," he says with a confident smile as you cover yourself with your hand from the increasingly heavy rain.

He bites his lips and looks above you, now the rain avoids you both, and you're no longer getting wet.

He winks at you, and you hug him sideways. Let the mist take care of what others see, and he leans in for a kiss. You give it to him.

suddenly feeling the drops hitting your hair again. For a few seconds, neither of you cares, and he hugs you, prolonging the kiss.

A kiss in the rain.

When the water trickles down your noses and you can taste some of those drops, you break apart with a giggle.

"Oops," he says, and he focuses again to keep you both rain-free.

Though you run to get home as soon as possible because for Percy, it's hard not to want to stop and kiss and cuddle you.

— apollo *⁠.⁠✧

He's a god, and the god of the Sun. He could literally make a few calls to get rid of that silly rain bothering his beloved.

But oh no, Apollo lives for the drama, for love, it's for the feelings he exist, so he conjures up an umbrella and covers you.

Apollo will definitely sing "Singing in the Rain" while dragging you along and giving you gentle spins.

For him, it's such a mundane moment, but because he's with you, he wants to turn it into the greatest musical ever told, because it's for the two of you and for him, it's better.

He takes your hand and swings it with great humor.

He's literally a sun walking on the streets full of people grumpy because of the bad weather and a gray, cloudy landscape.

When he sees you smile and chuckle, his spirit overflows with joy, and unintentionally, the sun appears among those clouds, and the rainbow makes a nice trio in the sky.

He gives you a peck on the lips when you raise your eyebrows at his mischief.

"I can't help it," he says with a smile and links your arm with his to continue the walk.

*⁠.⁠✧

#percy jackson #leo valdez #frank zhang #jason grace #pjo

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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 5 months

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sweet on you | jason grace

wc + pairing: 1k, jason grace x f!reader

notes: short-ish jason blurb while i chalk up some of my beefier fics (& my 1k celebration thank u again)<3 this is my first time publishing for him so hopefully this isn't too ooc! i need to let myself write shorter stream of consciousness things,, all fluff, just jason taking your makeup off after a party <33 also its set at chb because i said so

Whenever Jason washes off your makeup, he acts like it's his sworn duty.

You’re a little hazy as he wets a cloth in the sink, repositioning himself between your legs that hang limply off the bathroom counter. You keep scanning his face for any trace of weariness or urgency. After a long day of camp duties, the last thing you think he’d want was to clean up his drunken girlfriend after a secret party. But he’s as kind and patient as ever, and you don’t know if it’s your heart or the alcohol talking, but you are deliriously in love with him right now. He’s a leader—a brave, powerful demigod—but he’s only that good because he’s gentle. That's what you see, anyway. Everyone loves him for a reason, but you're still sure you love him most.

You got drunk. You got anxious. But it’s more than worth it if Jason takes care of you after. Even under these fluorescent bathroom lights, he’s beautiful.

“Why thank you,” he says, a bemused smile on his face.

You blink. “Did I say that out loud?”

“Sure did.”

The scar on the corner of his lip lifts as he kisses your cheek. You hum pleasantly, and you feel the ghost of his laugh before he pulls away. “Close your eyes for me?”

You oblige. In seconds, you’re greeted with the warm press of a towel on your face. Jason keeps you in place with his hand cupping your chin. “Let me know if I poke your eyes, okay?”

“If you do I’ll just bite your finger.”

“Awesome.” He works on sweeping the cloth over your skin to drag off all that makeup. You wait patiently, happily, indulging in the occasional idle chatter and the steady brush of Jason’s thumb underneath your chin. Every pass of his fingers against your face lulls you further into your haze. He’s warm, methodical, sweet. He switches the cloth to a different side and drags up your cheekbones. Your brain is mush with alcohol and appreciation.

“‘M sorry I got carried away, Jace,” you mumble, head swaying involuntarily. “Didn’t need to come get me like this.”

His soft laugh swims in your ears, and he lowers himself a bit to see you better. “Trust me, I wasn’t doing much. The only notable thing this evening was crossing the hundred-page threshold in my book.”

“Is it good?” You slur, toying with his dog-tag necklace you’d gotten him for his birthday.

He tilts his head, “Eh. Alright. I still like taking care of you more, though.”

You must be beaming stupidly wide, because Jason shakes his head with a smile, and he wraps his arms around you to kiss your jaw. “Besides, you’re sweet on me when you’re drunk.”

The feel of his lips would have shut you up in any normal circumstance, but your idiotic thoughts only heighten. “Sweet on you?”

“Mmhm.”

“That’s a thing?”

“Yes! They … people say it.”

His cheeks flush red in that insanely adorable way, and he presses his face back into your neck. “They said it in my book,” he mumbles, and you laugh so hard he has to shush you.

He goes through the rest of your rather particular skincare routine as per your instructions. He’s seen you do it a thousand times, but you repeat the order anyways just to be sure—although it’s likely you’re jumbling up your words and taking too many pauses for any of it to come out coherent. He takes his time, focused intently on the planes and ridges of your skin. If you were any more sober you’d probably be self-conscious, but sometimes his thumb runs across your cheek with a tenderness that has nothing to do with your serums.

Once all’s said and done, your skin refreshed, you’re practically snoozing on the counter. “Sweetheart,” Jason hums, winding arms around you once more, “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Only if it’s with you,” you yawn, cheek smushing into his chest.

“Well, that’s a given.”

He’s smiling again as he runs his hands down to your thighs, so you can loop your legs around his hips. “Hold on, okay?”

You oblige, relishing in the curl of his biceps against your sides as he hoists you off the counter. Usually you’d be hesitant to let him carry you around with you clinging to him like this, but your capacity for embarrassment had vanished about two drinks ago. You hear him chuckling into your hair as the breeze tickles your face, although it's far less severe in his arms.

Camp’s practically deserted this time of night so Jason has no problem getting you into his cabin. He puts you down on his lonely bed in a sea of marble, lit with nothing but the warmth of his reading lamp. “Thank you, baby,” you murmur as he helps you out of your clothes and gives you a shirt of his own. The way he smells reminds you of morning mist as he ties your hair back.

Soon you’re in your favourite place in the world: drowned in blankets on a cool summer night in Jason’s bed. You’re nestled snug against his chest, letting the fog in your mind settle as he traces shapes on your back beneath your shirt. Transfixed by the ebb and flow of his breath, you can’t help but press your lips to his collarbone, lazy chapstick kisses spooling onto his skin.

“Y’re right,” you mumble, “I am sweet on you.”

Jason laughs quietly, setting down his book. He taps on your chin to draw you out of his chest, leading you to his mouth. You’re giggling and falling into him before you even kiss. He tastes like sweet mint as he cages you against him with his arms, nothing but gentle. “Love you,” you whisper with a plucky smile.

He kisses your forehead, “I love you.” He disposes of his glasses and turns off his lamp, sinking the both of you down onto the mattress. “Get some sleep, angel.”

You must be a lot better at following instructions than you thought, because you smother yourself in his warmth and you’re sure you’ve never slept better.

#jason grace x reader #jason grace #pjo #fic recs

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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 5 months

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because i love you — [hoo boys headcanons]

summary: your "thing" with the hoo boys!

author's note: in honor of the pjo series coming out today,,have this rlly rlly short draft from earlier this year! xoxo

percy jackson — doodling on him

“give me your hand.”

“yes ma’am.”

minutes pass as you doodle gods know what onto percy’s hand. you always resort to this whenever the camp head counselor's meeting begins late—which seems to be every meeting—and giving percy "tattoos" certainly kills time. last meeting, you drew a can of beans and the time before that, was a bouquet of tulips. so honestly his guess being a pair of socks this time isn’t too far of a reach.

“okay, done,” you release his hand, a proud smile gracing your features, “cute right?”

he quirks a brow upon seeing the drawing, “is that…” percy turns his head to the side, gaining better perspective, “is that a flying fish?”

“wow, you’re good,” you say, giving him a nod of approval, “although, last time you did say that my can of beans looked like a roll of toilet paper…”

your boyfriend throws his hands in the air, “in my defense, you used a shitty pen so it was hard to tell.”

“whatever.”

jason grace — sewing your initials on his clothes

“hi love,” jason says, plopping down beside you on the couch. you give him a bright smile as he places a gentle kiss on your head, “almost done?”

nodding proudly, you hold up his pair of jeans to show him your work: your initials sewn onto a corner of his back pocket, “yup, just finished actually! what do you think of the color? i think you bought the thread for me on our second date. but i totally forgot i had it until i went digging in my supply box.”

a grin plasters itself on jason’s face as he nods his head in realization, “i knew the color seemed familiar. i remember wondering why a tiny spool of thread was so expensive. but it’s perfect, i love it,” he kisses your cheek, “all my friends are gonna be so jealous that they don’t have their girlfriends’ initials sewn onto their clothes.”

you laugh as you imagine jason vehemently bragging about his jeans to all his friends, “tell them i’m charging $50 if they want me to do theirs,” you wink.

“we’d make more than the stolls’ and their smuggling business if we did that,” he laughs, admiring your work once more. who knew that having your initials on his pants would have such an affect on him, “also, can you do my sweaters and my other jeans?"

you raise a brow, "i might have to start charging you at this point."

leo valdez — impromptu fashion shows

“wow!” you clap enthusiastically, “your outfit even puts paris fashion week outfits to shame!” yes, because a rainbow checkered crop top with a humongous green tutu and a pink boa paired with insanely skinny stilettos beats any and all high fashion runway outfits, “now, leo valdez, can you give us a few words about your new clothing line? and possibly a bit about what it’s like to be so amazingly talented?” you inquire, raising an invisible microphone to his mouth.

leo oh-so humbly bows and rises with a proud grin, “thank you, thank you, but i honestly must give all credit towards my beautiful muse, y/n, she’s the inspiration behind my new line. and about being so talented, it really is such hard work to be this naturally gifted.”

“ooh, do tell about this ‘y/n.’ i’ve never heard of her but she does sound absolutely gorgeous!” you exclaim, keeping up with the act.

your boyfriend nods firmly, “oh yes, she’s very, very, very beautiful,” adding a playful wink, “but i must say, she has the worst morning breath i’ve ever encountered!”

your smile drops and you squint your eyes, “i’m going to choke you with that stupid ugly boa if you don’t take that back right now.”

“uh ma’am,” leo backs up nervously, clutching his boa, “i’m going to have to call security if you threaten me again.”

"i'm seriously going to kill you."

#percy jackson #jason grace #leo valdez #jason grace x reader #percy jackson x reader #leo valdez x reader #pjo x reader #pjo #fic recs #YES MAAM ?!?!!! I NEED HIM SO BAD #if a man called me maam id die right away ngl 😝

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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 5 months

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#poetry #prose

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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 5 months

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*ੈ✎ everybody talks!

"it started with a whisper, and that was when i kissed her!" —neon trees

note: fun fact this was supposed to be titled friends by chase atlantic but then i started going for a cliche hs romance vibe cause i went and listened to a 90s playlist um ANYWAYS @hopelesslyromanticshark HEYYY TWIN SURPRISE MAYBE?? IT WAS ME ALL ALONG 😈😈 ps this doubles as my apology for the pronunciation confusion FORGET I EVER STARTED THAT

content: leo valdez x reader, childhood best friends to lovers, mortal au; oneshot, 4.3k words

warnings: jealousy, little bit of angst (typical teenage drama 🙄), like one mention of not wanting to live, cursing, google translated spanish, lots of pov switches (my bad 😓), vague spoilers for the ballad of songbirds and snakes (like two lines abt it), clumsy confessions, denial (is it really denial if you just suck at feelings??)

"that was supposed to be my ice cream!" you marched up to a curly-headed boy, face scrunched up in childish anger. your parents were too busy catching up with friends to notice that you had strayed off.

said curly-headed boy turned to the sound of a shrill voice, his eyes meeting a pouty face with cheeks red in the summer heat. he raised the cone in his hand a bit higher. "this one?"

you nodded eagerly, hoping he was going to give it to you. "yeah!" you stretched out your hand to grab it from him, but the boy pulled it away at the last second.

he smiled mischievously, dimples flashing as he stuck his tongue out and licked a stripe up the stacked swirls of ice cream. "too bad!"

you gasped at the utter audacity of the other child, your bottom lip starting to tremble. one sniffle. two. soon, you were downright bawling on the sidewalk. the boy’s jaw dropped, his feet taking panicked little steps in place as he looked around.

"hey! hey, you can't cry! i'll ask my mama to buy you one!" he squeaked, trying to comfort you. he patted your back, which was quite hard to do with him bouncing around and holding an ice cream cone.

your sobs were quickly reduced into a sniffle as you blinked at him. "..really? and you're not gonna steal it this time?"

he nodded enthusiastically. "yep! i mean, no! i won't steal it!" he took your hand and ran to his mom, dragging you along.

you ran behind him, your tears replaced with excitement at the newly promised ice cream.

"mama!" the boy called out, stopping in front of a kind-looking woman who looked just like him. "meet my new friend!"

you smiled a bit shyly at the lady, giving her a wave.

she returned the gesture with a smile of her own, before facing the boy with a slight frown. "leo! sus padres podrían estar buscándola! did you ask her parents if she was allowed to go with you?" she chided, pinching his ear lightly.

leo cried out as his mother pinched his ear, even though he barely felt it. "no..! but le debo un helado!" he whined, shaking your interlocked hands for effect. "can you buy her one mama? pleaseee?"

she sighed in defeat, giving into two pairs of puppy eyes. "alright, alright. but we find her parents first, okay? what's your name?" she gave you a little wink, taking your other hand.

"i'm y/n!" you said with a bright smile as she agreed to get you a new ice cream. "my mommy and daddy are over there!" you pointed to a spot not too far from where you stood.

leo's mom nodded, leading your little trio in the direction you said. soon enough, you were reunited with your parents, who gave you a gentle scolding and thanked her. she explained the situation between you and leo, at which all the parents laughed at, much to your confusion. what was so funny about getting your (well, not exactly yours but you had your eyes on it, so, it was technically yours) ice cream stolen?

whatever, at least you got it at the end of the day—and a new friend!

ever since then, the two of you stuck together like glue. if elementary school teachers tried to separate you? either of you would throw a hissy fit. if your high school teachers tried to separate you? either of you would make up some elaborate bullshit about how well you guys work together and how productive the two of you would be (you were sure they never believed it, but they paired up the both of you anyway).

"like i know she probably didn’t get enough love as a child or something but does she have to take it out on her students? why even be a teacher?” you waved your hand in the air, the mess of papers on the desk long forgotten.

"exactly, like she really needs therapy." leo took his bite-ridden pencil out of his mouth to add a point.

"totally,” you agreed. “too bad it’s so expensive, otherwise-“

a cough behind you made you and leo turn around, already dreading the punishment about to befall you. you smile sheepishly at your history teacher, who had her arms crossed. "another word and i'll send you two to detention, you hear?"

the both of you shut your mouths and nodded in sync, waiting until she turned around to whisper. "she's feeling merciful today."

"detention!"

guess not.

you slumped against the desk, resting your head against your arms and sighed loudly. the teacher in charge of detention for the day gave you a glare, turning the page to his boring book about finance or something. you rolled your eyes once he looked away, and looked up at the clock. five more minutes.

you tapped a message on the desk, the morse code leo forced you to learn coming in handy once again. i'm so bored.

leo's head perked up from the similar slouch he was in. me too.

i'm coming over. you rapped your finger against the smooth wood. you were hungry just thinking about him and his mom's tacos. if you didn't know how much leo wanted to be a mechanic, you'd probably beg him to open a restaurant.

a little forward aren't you? he drummed his fingers back, raising his eyebrow.

just as you were about to reply, you were cut off with a "shh!" from the teacher, who then looked at his watch. he gave it a scowl, but motioned for the two of you to leave. "you're free to go."

the two of you raced to the door, eager to get out of the stuffy classroom.

"oh my gosh i thought he was never gonna let us leave!" you groaned, tugging on your backpack straps as you walked home with leo.

"i know! can't believe he wasted our precious hanging out time like that!" leo scoffed, nudging you with his shoulder.

you laughed, shoving him back. "exactly!"

the two of you walked in peaceful silence, up until leo tapped you on the shoulder and shouted, "tag, you're it!" and ran off ahead.

who runs with a backpack on? you didn't care, chasing after him and trying to get him. "not fair!" you yelled.

sprinting all the way, you made it to his house, panting and out of breath. as he leaned against the doorway, you smacked him upside the head. "you're it."

you didn't want to spend your friday afternoon doing extra work, but leo wanted the help and who were you to deny him? you knew it'd probably end up with the two of you on the couch, curled up next to each other and watching a (usually) pirated movie.

"so," leo started. you two were sprawled on your stomachs, doing homework on his wooden floor.

"what is it now?" you exhaled with exaggeration, not looking up from your book. your english teacher had said to read two chapters, but was that really enough? you were too invested, completely forgetting that you were supposed to help him analyze it.

"..wanna take a break?" he was already getting to his feet, looking down at you with a cheeky glint in his eyes.

you pretended to think. "hm, i don't know... shakespeare's getting really interesting..." you shrugged and turned back to your book.

leo pouted. "seriously!? he just spews random bullshit and everyone thinks its poetic!"

you kicked his foot, not letting the insult slide. "you know what? now i'm really not gonna take a break."

"oh come on! if i make you birria tacos will you come with me? my mom's been simmering the meat since earlier," he bargained, waggling his eyebrows.

"..maybe."

"holy shit." you moaned in bliss as you took a bite of one of the tacos leo had so kindly prepared. he chuckled at your reaction, it was the same every time he made it.

he grinned proudly, taking his plate from the coffee table and setting it on his lap. "good, right?" he switched on the tv, resting his other arm on the back of the couch.

you let out an unintelligible noise of agreement, mouth stuffed. you swallowed. "can we watch the new hunger games movie?"

he hummed, taking out his laptop and searching for it on some illegal website. "again? we already watched it in the theaters."

you rolled your eyes. "yes, again. it's my turn to pick."

his lips quirked up the slightest. "yeah, yeah." he clicked on the movie, connected his laptop to the tv and pressed play.

the two of you were watching intently as coriolanus snow kissed lucy gray like a starved man.

"goddamn," you breathed out.

"i know." leo nodded, his eyes flicking to you for a moment. your legs were folded under the blanket you guys shared. during the duration of the movie, the two of you had somehow huddled closer together, probably due to the cold, he thought. his arm was now over your shoulder, your knees touching his.

he felt something stir in his heart. maybe it was the kissing scene, maybe it was the underlying feeling of sadness that came with winter, but god did he suddenly get overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting a girlfriend. he'd probably flirt with every girl in the world if it meant he could find true love. he suddenly felt hyper-aware of the way you were nestled in his arms, of the casual way you two touched each other. leo would love to do these things in a romantic sense. but, not with you, of course. i mean, you were his bestest friend, it'd be weird to think otherwise.

your heart fluttered wildly as you played it cool, not letting the way his legs were intwined with yours affect you. you didn't know exactly when you started feeling this way, all you knew was that something about his touch never failed to send you sparks of fire.

but fire burns.

you heard leo suck in a breath. "you know your friend alicia?"

you froze, the butterflies in your stomach turning into ash. "yeah, she's my friend, 'course i'd know her."

"great, so you wouldn't mind setting me up with her, right?" he winked at you, tugging at the ends of your hair.

you bit your tongue, mood dampening. why did he always have to ruin the moment by asking about some other girl? i mean, am i not enough or something? "..i'll think about it."

he frowned. usually you'd agree right away. "is that a yes?"

"i told you i'd think about it, now can we just watch?" you turned back to the tv, eyes looking but not seeing.

leo didn't seem to get the hint, still pushing the topic. "why think? it's not like you haven't done it before! are you really not gonna help your best friend out?"

"maybe i'm really not," you said sarcastically. it was getting more and more difficult to keep the irritation from your voice, and he was already starting to notice.

"whoa, okay, what're you so mad about?" he took his arm off your shoulder, turning to face you directly. "did i say something wrong?"

"nope."

he took your sardonic tone as your usual sarcasm and kept prodding. "okay... so you'll help me then? i mean, that's all you're for! you don't wanna be my best friend and do your job?" he laughed, poking fun at you like usual. but the feeling in your gut twisted his offhand comment in a way that hurt.

"if you're just gonna keep me around to set you up with a bunch of girls then maybe i don't want to be your friend anymore!" you snapped, agitation finally breaking the thin mask of patience you had.

leo set down his empty plate on the table, needing to give his hands something to do. "i was just- you know that's not why you're my friend!" he chuckled incredulously.

you stayed silent, letting his words dissolve in the air.

his eyebrows furrowed at your lack of response, as if trying to decipher the finality of your words. "you don't.. you don't mean that do you?"

"maybe i do." you stood up, the blanket falling off your legs. you grabbed your backpack, a reminder of what you guys were supposed to be working on.

leo quickly followed suit, springing to his feet and speeding after you as you walked towards the front door. "wait! i was just kidding! c'mon we can talk about this!" a hint of desperation seeped into his voice as he grabbed your wrist.

"we already did." you shot him a glare over your shoulder. he froze. he'd never seen that aimed at him. playful irritation, sure, but never that. not to him. his hand dropped your arm in shock, and you took your leave.

"i said, are you trying to kill me!?" the tv was still on.

the walk to school was quiet without leo, that you'd admit. you even got up a half hour early just so you wouldn't see him. yeah, it was a little petty, but you weren't exaggerating in your words. he had other friends, you had other friends—you're choosing to ignore the fact that half of them were mutual—you guys would be fine without each other. especially you.

except you forgot the fact that you guys were seated next to each other for nearly all your classes. that was awkward. everyone around you sensed the tension in the air, with you pointedly looking away from leo, at the board, and him trying to do the same. you could feel his leg shake the table as he bounced his knee, as well as the side glances he gave you.

even so, you continued to ignore him and the stupidly cute way his lips pursed into a frown. you weren't getting over it that easy.

leo fucked up. like, seriously fucked up. he hasn't fucked up this bad since.. well, since his invention quite literally blew up in his face. but this? this was like your friendship figuratively blew up in his face! and it felt even worse. he took a deep breath, rolling over in his bed with his blanket half-off. he brought the fabric up to his nose, inhaling the faint scent of your perfume that had stayed since last friday. without you, his thoughts felt louder than usual. they ran free in his mind, ranging from what should i eat for dinner? to god, did i mess up our whole friendship? was i taking her for granted when i kept asking her for relationship advice? why did i even do that? i didn't even really like any of those girls. what's wrong with me?

he curled up into a ball, squeezing the blanket to his chest and burying his face in it. leo willed himself to cry, but no tears would come. the overwhelming feeling in his chest had no way to escape. his heart thumped heavily, each painful beat reminding him of why he should've never been allowed to live.

"...and that's why you should- hey! are you even listening?" piper frowned, raising an eyebrow at leo, who was picking at his food.

he didn't answer, too busy moving the gross cafeteria food around his tray as he drooped against the table.

"okay, i know that you've got your little lover's quarrel with y/n, but you've gotta stop sulking and start doing." piper crossed her arms, eyeing him with a very unimpressed look. "did you seriously not hear a word i said? talk to her! apologize! it's been a week already!"

leo groaned, his head resting in his arms. “i know! and- wait did you just say ‘lover’s quarrel!?’” his head shot up, face feeling warm all of a sudden. “pipes, she’s just a friend! like you!”

piper gave him a disbelieving hum. “‘just a friend’ my ass! everyone can see how you look at her!” that’s why all the girls you make her set you up with never go on a second date.

leo genuinely looked confused. “what? i look at her normally, what are you talking about?”

jason, who was silent throughout the whole exchange, chortled a laugh. the two whipped their heads to him, the sudden noise from him surprising. "are you serious? leo, i don't think even i'm that oblivious!" he shared a look with piper that only the two would understand. ugh. another couple thing leo feels he'll never get.

leo's eye twitched. "oblivious about what? y/n's my best friend, i don't see what's so weird about that!"

the pair sighed. "you'll get it one day," jason said firmly, clapping him on the shoulder with solemn resolution.

"okay..?"

a whole week. leo had never gone without talking to you for a whole week! this was driving him insane! yeah, he knew you were mad at him and by default, he was supposed to be mad at you, but it was too much! next period, leo thought resolutely. i'll get her to talk to me next period. which just so happened to be his last period because although he had been thinking of this the whole day, he was too nervous to confront you earlier. he took a deep breath in and walked into chemistry class.

fate must hate him. or maybe his science teacher. right when when he slipped into his seat beside you, she clasped her hands together and cleared her throat. "class! today were going to be switching seats!" leo swore he saw her look at him as he said that. what did he ever do to her!? his heart sunk as he realized he might not sit next to you anymore. surely the teacher's gonna keep us together? i mean, they've all done that since like, the start of the year! she won't be any different.. right?

oh he was so wrong. leo pouted in his spot at the back of the class, watching you from across the room as you chatted it up with some jock. why is she being so smiley!? isn't she supposed to be mad? i mean, yeah, she's only mad at me, but doesn't that mean she's supposed to be grumpy in general!? why am i the only one who looks affected by this!?

the girl next to him cleared her throat, snapping him out of his thoughts. "uh, we need to start the experiment," she said without emotion, as if the mere action of talking to him was boring. seriously, why did everyone hate him today? it's not like they know anything that happened!

"oh.. right." leo took his notebook out and set it to the side, moving the vials to the center of the desk. he felt the girl's stare dig into his side, like she was looking at him with disdain. leo sighed. this was going to be a long period.

how did leo even end up here? parties weren't really his thing. he only came because he heard that you'd be here, but you were nowhere to be seen. leo leaned against a wall, trying not to look like a complete loser as he stood by himself. he took out his phone, navigating to his trusty weather app. where were you? if not you, then jason and piper? even percy or annabeth would do! they're probably each hooking up in a bathroom or something.. he thought with a grimace, trying to get the mental picture out of his head. leo wandered around with a cup of fanta, hoping to see you in the crowd.

you sipped from your red solo cup, the bubbly taste of soda delightfully stinging your tongue. this party's kinda boring... it'd be more fun with- you cut off your thoughts with a shake of your head. whatever. you had girl friends you could hang out with. as you made your way to them, a tap on your shoulder got your attention.. is it..? you turned around. it wasn't. you ignored the feeling in your stomach and smiled at the familiar—but not familiar enough—face of your new seatmate.

"oh hey! i didn't know you were coming!" you greeted with a smile.

he laughed, raising his eyebrow. "you think i'd miss this? i mean, look at me!" he gestured to himself quite vainly. "i throw these kinds of parties!"

you chuckled, nodding along to be polite. "uh, yeah, for sure!"

the both of you fell into an awkward silence that seemed to stretch out for forever.

leo spotted you across the room, the chatter around him seeming to die down as he saw you with that guy. i mean, seriously, he wasn't even your type! and, he'd know your type! like, weren't you guys just talking shit about jason's football friends? you could do so much better. like.. like me. leo's eyes widened. holy fuck. that's it! the feeling in his chest was akin to tightening the last screw of his project. the words his two friends had said to him earlier came rushing back with sudden clarity. they day he finally got it was sooner than expected. with a determined blaze in his heart, he slipped through the crowd and made his way to you.

you took the lull in your conversation as a sign to go to your other friends. "so, i'm gonna-"

"hey, i was going to-" he started.

the both of you stopped mid-sentence after speaking at the same time. you guys laughed it off, with you waving off his muttered apology.

"you can go first," you said, dipping your head at him to continue.

he cleared his throat, looking into your eyes intently. "well, i was wondering if you'd wanna go ou-"

"y/n!" leo strode up to you as if the fight between the two of you had never happened.

your face scrunched up in confusion, too perplexed to remember that you were supposed to be ignoring him. "leo? what are you-" he cut you off, directing his words to the other guy.

"hey, sorry if i interrupted something, but i gotta talk to y/n for a sec," leo flashed his teeth, mischievous dimples showing.

the jock's eyes widened as he took a step back. "oh.. oh, my bad man! i didn't think you guys were- are you really?" he laughed with obvious embarrassment, shaking his head as he retreated. "guess so.." he muttered under his breath as he faded into the crowd.

leo's hand slipped around your waist as he weaved the both of you in between people. his jaw was clenched, a sight you've only seen when he was concentrated on one of his many inventions. "what the hell are you doing?" you repeated your question, ignoring the way his touch sent familiar sparks down your spine. you shied away from it, half to push away your feelings and the other to keep up your fight out of pure pettiness.

his hand twitched as you moved away, his eyes narrowing as he stared straight ahead. but leo made no move to grab you again, ever the gentleman. "just come with me. please."

his tone itself was enough to make you listen to him without question. never had you seen him so.. serious. you found yourselves in an empty guest room, music thumping softly behind the walls.

"y/n," leo murmured, finally speaking as he turned around. his eyes were shifty, looking everywhere but directly into yours. you could see the way he chewed on the inside of his lip, as if rehearsing the words he had yet to say.

"i- i don't want you to talk to that guy." he blurted out after a beat of silence. his cute face wasn't enough to distract you from his words, however.

"excuse me?" you stared at him, your rose-tinted glasses shattering immediately.

leo shifted on his feet, realizing how off-putting he sounded. "not- not like that! sorry, i mean like-" he swallowed thickly, his leg starting to bounce.

"fuck i really suck at this, huh?" he muttered under his breath, before daring to look into your eyes.

"i mean i want you to talk to me instead because.. i like you. i want to be the one you talk to, like we used to. but- more than that because i like like you." he fumbled over his words, trailing off at the end as his eyes dipped down once again.

what? you opened your mouth to answer but he beat you to it to continue.

"i'm really sorry for how i acted like a jerk. and taking you for granted and making you set me up with practically every girl you knew. to tell you the truth, i don't know why i did that, 'cause i never really like any of 'em. or i thought i did and then i just, didn't and-" he would've rambled on forever if you hadn't cut him off with a kiss.

you heard him squeak in the back of his throat, hands tensing at his sides before gingerly wrapping around your waist, as if he was scared of messing up again. the both of you pulled away after a soft minute, his disbelieving eyes staring back at your playful expression. boy, did he miss the way you looked at him like that.

"took you long enough." you laughed, hitting his shoulder lightly. "better not make me set you up with anyone ever again."

his face broke into a wide grin, never faltering even as you punched him. he brought you back into his arms, hugging you tightly. "the only person i'd want to be set up with is you." he drew back only slightly, his hands trailing up your body until he cupped your face, squishing your cheeks gently. "so? will you let me take you on a date?"

your smile was one that rivaled the sun, one he'd like to center his world around forever. "are you kidding? obviously!"

the kiss he gave you after was one you'd remember forever.

("twenty bucks jason, pay up!" piper whispered, peering through the crack in the door.

"..fuck.")

#leo valdez #leo valdez x reader #heroes of olympus #hoo #pjo #i am a SLUT for mutual pining bestfriends to lovers

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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 5 months

Text

New Year’s Day

in which: leo valdez has always been pathetically in love with you, and he finally confesses on a porch at a frat party

fratboy!leo valdez x daughter of athena!reader

warnings: language, use of y/n

requested: yes/no

a/n: english is not my first language, so sorry if there’s any typos!! :)

leo was sitting on the couch, holding a half-empty paper cup in his hand, observing all the people at the party. his friends, people he didn’t even know, and people he had seen two or three times in college and greeted with a head nod. but you weren’t there. or at least he hadn’t seen you yet.

his best friend, jason, flopped onto the couch.

“why are you here alone?” he asked.

“this party sucks,”

“you haven’t seen y/n, huh?”

leo looked at jason. he had lipstick marks on his cheeks and neck.

“someone had a good time,” leo said, pointing to jason’s face.

“shut up.”

leo sighed and looked at the front again. everyone was dancing to the music, happy, joyful. some holding onto someone’s waist, some not. some kissing someone, some not. some probably fucking someone on the rooms upstairs, some not.

“she said she’d be here,”

“maybe she is,” jason reassured, “but you haven’t seen her yet.”

“the house is not that big,” he chuckled.

“piper said she’s here.”

“maybe she left.”

“for the gods’ sakes leo,” jason hid his face in his palms. “go search the girl, you are not doing anything sitting here.”

jason got up and walked towards piper again. leo took a sip out of his cup. he drummed with his fingers in his left thigh.

he was waiting for you. waiting for a text, a call. something. waiting for you to suddenly sit down next to him and tell him (at last) you love him.

you two met at camp. chiron told you to show him around and you got closer after that. you were always together.

leo saw his phone screen lit up. it was a text. from you.

“porch :)”, it read. he smiled and got up.

jason winked at him from the distance, and something told leo jason already knew you were outside.

he opened the door slowly, and saw you facing away. he approached you, quietly.

“so…” you faced him, “good evening.”

“good evening.” he leaned against the fence, like you, by your side. “i thought you wouldn’t come.”

“and miss percy doing karaoke drunk? hell no.” leo laughed. “also, it’s new year’s eve. i wasn’t going to rot in my room the whole night, evidently.”

the chill air of the night brushed through your hair. leo was low-key staring at you, but could he help it?

you fell into a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s presence. you rested your head on leo’s shoulder, feeling his body warmth.

you could hear the before loud music now faint, the only sound that mattered to you being leo’s calm breathing. he could hear his own heartbeat going faster, and prayed to his father you couldn’t feel it.

“i heard you were going out with a boy,” he said. you looked at him. “what was his name… lucas?”

you laughed, “luke. no, no, i’m not going out with him, we’re just friends. maybe just study buddies.”

then something crossed your mind.

“are you going out with someone?”

you mentally prayed to your mother that he wasn’t.

ever since camp, you’ve had a crush on leo. when late at night you helped him with summer homework. when you reassured him after a bad nightmare. when he forced you to help him with his inventions. when your lives were so miserable you didn’t have time to think about feelings. and now, that your lives were remotely normal and you did have time to think about relationships, it would suck to know some other girl was faster than you.

“no”, he said, and you breathed out even though you didn’t know you were holding it, “i’m not dating anyone.”

“would you like to?” you asked, hoping for him to take the hint.

you heard cheering inside the house, clapping and the music got louder. you checked the time in your phone. 0:00, January 1st.

“happy new year leo,” you smiled sweetly at him, his eyes darted from your eyes to your lips.

“happy new year. and i would love to,” he said. “to date someone. well… not someone, you. i want to date y…”

you cut him off by kissing him. he hesitated a few seconds, but then he kissed you back, placing his hands in your waist. you placed yours in his neck, gently touching his curls.

you felt his smile on the kiss. you imagined your first kiss differently, but this was perfect.

now, you didn’t have to save the world. to risk your lives everyday. so you could dedicate entirely to love each other properly.

on the distance, you heard everyone shouting.

“to new beginnings!”

#leo valdez #leo valdez x reader #pjo #i literally love him

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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 5 months

Text

true luck's kiss

pairing: luke castellan x daughter of tyche!reader

summary: luke is stuck with a streak of bad luck. what better way to get rid of it than with a child of tyche?

a/n: so this was supposed to come out on st patrick's day but unfortunately im the slowest writer in the world and ive also been doing nothing but watch basketball because we sleep in may. anyways here's a short fluffy blurb because it is getting way too sad in here with my hurricane fics lmao

wc: 1.2k

warning(s): none, this is all fluff. i know crazy coming from me

You grimaced as you pulled the arrow back. Sweat dripped down your forehead and you itched to brush it away, but you ignored the urge as you let out a deep breath.

“Just like that.” Kimia nodded as she stopped behind you. “Perfect angle—now let it fly.”

You did, and the weight lifted off your shoulders once the arrow embedded itself in the center of the target.

“Ending on a bullseye,” she said with a grin. “Great work.”

“Only way to do it,” you said, smiling at her. “Am I a worthy opponent yet?”

She chuckled and patted your shoulder as she moved on. “Maybe one day you’ll be as good as Cabin Seven. Today’s not that day.”

You shook your head with a laugh and took your quiver off your back. “Keep telling yourself that!”

A bow and arrow had become your weapon of choice since the moment you stepped foot into camp, and you’d gotten good over the years—so much so that it was a surprise when your mother claimed you. One day, though, you would get an Apollo kid to admit you were better than them.

You’d just finished putting all your equipment away, and when you turned back, you were met with a mess of brown curls and shining eyes.

“Luke,” you said, pleasantly surprised. “Didn’t know you were in archery today.”

He shook his head. “I’m not. I didn’t come here for archery—I came here for you.”

You chuckled as you gestured with your head, and he got the hint as you started walking together. “How forward of you.”

“It’s a living,” he said with a smile. “How was practice?”

“And small talk?” You pressed a hand to your heart and shook your head. “It must be my lucky day.”

Luke’s smile widened as he ran a nervous hand through his hair. “That’s what I came to talk to you about, actually. I do wanna hear about your day, though.”

You shrugged. “It was boring. Killed it at archery, nearly got killed on the climbing wall—I was gonna head back to the cabin to chill for a few hours before dinner, but it looks like you’ve taken that slot.”

He chuckled. “So you are free?”

“I’ve always got some time to listen to Luke Castellan,” you mused. “What’ve you got?”

“I’m cursed,” Luke said.

You stopped in your tracks and looked him right in the eye. “...Cursed.”

He nodded. “I know it sounds stupid, but it’s gotta be true. I mean, nothing is going right for me. I’ve been off my groove with my sword, I’ve lost every canoe race, I nearly burnt my eyebrows off last time I was in the forge, and my team hasn’t won a game of capture the flag this entire month—”

“I know,” you interrupted. “I’m in your cabin.”

“So you know how bad my luck’s been lately!” he exclaimed with a gesture. “It— it was embarrassing, but now it’s just pathetic.”

“You know I can’t fix it, right?” you said wryly. “I’m not my mom.”

“That’s what Annabeth said,” Luke mumbled. “But— but I’ve seen the way you live—you’ve got luck on tap! Your strawberries are always the ripest, you somehow find drachmas on the ground, and your volleyball serves are better than anyone’s.”

“I play varsity back home,” you said. “No luck needed.”

“Still,” he emphasized, “you’re naturally lucky. You’ve literally got it in your DNA, and I’m fresh out of it. That’s gotta be worth something.”

“Not really.” You crossed your arms. “So what do you think I can do about this?”

Luke shrugged. “I dunno. Say something?"

You barely managed to stifle a laugh. “Like what?”

“Pray to Tyche,” he said. “You’re her only kid here—she’s gotta be listening.”

You bit back your smile as you shook your head. “Fine. Just for you.”

“Thank you,” Luke sighed, watching with bated breath as you cleared your throat, closed your eyes, and pressed your hands together.

“Tyche, dearest mother, goddess of luck and fortune—I ask you to shine on Luke Castellan on this day. Smile upon my friend and break his very real curse. If you do this for him, in return, he will do all of my cabin chores for the next month.”

When you opened your eyes, Luke looked quite unimpressed. “Very funny.”

“Feel any luckier?” you asked with a smile as you started walking again.

“I don’t think so,” he said, falling into step with you once more. “Especially because you’re putting conditions in your prayers. I didn’t know we could do that.”

“My mom has a sense of humor,” you mused. “And I also think I might be her favorite.”

“Not all of us have that privilege,” he said wryly. Suddenly, his eyes lit up, and he grabbed your arm to stop you.

��I think I’ve got it,” Luke said. “How about a kiss?”

Your eyebrows rose, but you couldn’t help showing your amusement. “Now it’s a kiss that’ll break your curse?”

He shrugged. “Like I said—you’ve got luck in your DNA. Maybe you could pass that along.”

“Really,” you said dryly.

“I’ve kinda tried everything,” he said. “A kiss from a lucky and pretty girl is far from the worst option.”

You chuckled. “You really know how to flatter ‘em.”

“I try,” he grinned. “Are you up to it?”

You bit your lip as you looked at Luke. Obviously, he was attractive—you’d always held an appreciation for his curls and the way they would constantly get in his eyes. He cut an impressive figure from constant, year-round training, and he even made the camp shirt look good. And gods, that damned smile got you.

There were worse things than kissing you, and there were certainly worse things than kissing Luke Castellan.

“Alright,” you sighed, taking a step forward. “Pucker up, Castellan.”

Before you could really doubt yourself, you leaned forward and kissed him. You weren’t really expecting to actually… like it.

Your first thought was that Luke’s lips were softer than they had any right to be. Your second thought was that his cologne was the scent always floating around the Hermes cabin. You didn’t really mind, though.

Luke gently put his hand on the back of your head to keep you there, and the moment lasted much longer than you initially planned. You also didn’t mind, though your thoughts were far more muddled than they should’ve been when you finally managed to pull away. He seemed to have a gift for that.

You felt your cheeks flush as you looked at him, not even trying to hide your smile. Turns out kissing Luke Castellan was actually pretty great. “Feel any luckier?”

“Yeah,” he said with a soft grin, his eyes twinkling. You wondered if he had the same thought about you. “Yeah. I really do.”

“I think that means it’s worked, then,” you said.

Luke nodded with mock austerity. “We should probably stick together for the rest of the week, though. Just to make sure this bad luck goes away for good.”

“You might be right,” you said. “And uh— you think you need an extra boost?” You glanced away as you bit back your smile. “Just to be safe and all. To really get rid of this curse.”

“You know,” he drew your attention back to him as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and you leaned in closer. “I think I might.”

#luke castellan x reader #pjo #luke castellan #aaaa hes such a cutie

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lovelygalaxy333-rbs · 5 months

Text

DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW ANGRIER

✸ pairing: jason grace x daughter of minerva! reader

✸ summary: you don’t know anything about jason anymore, except for the fact that you hate him for leaving

✸ warnings: kinda angsty…BUT I SWEAR THERE’S FLUFF AT THE END!! hurt / comfort type, & i think i swore like twice whoopsie

✸ notes: this might be my longest fic yet, hello? i mean, that’s not saying much but STILL

you didn’t know much about jason grace as of lately. it was true that there once was a time that even the smallest of scratches on his skin weren’t a mastery to you, a time when you knew him better than you knew yourself.

until six months ago, when he disappeared without a trace and left you all alone.

as a daughter of minerva, you’d never had many friend to begin with aside from the two praetors of new rome, for your skills and intellect set you apart from your fellow members of the legion and as leader of the first cohort, you were high up in the ranks anyways.

but now, six months later, you found yourself filling the post of second praetor not because you wanted to, but because you had to. the weight of the world had fallen upon your shoulders in only a fortnight

then, percy jackson had appeared.

you’d given him the position you held graciously, but it did nothing to repair the damage done that caused you to be emotional and physically strung out beyond relief.

you didn’t know much about jason grace anymore, except for the fact that you hated him, and unlike reyna, would not be welcoming him back with open arms when he arrived at camp jupiter as percy said he would.

and arrive he did, aboard a flying warship with three other demigods you’d never seen in your life.

while percy, reyna, and the rest of the legion welcomed them in with open arms, you were nowhere to be found.

jason’s eyes scanned the crowd over and over again and each time failed to find just the face he was looking for.

ever since his memories had been returned, the son of jupiter had been driving himself crazy with anticipation to see you again.

the curve of your soft lips and spark in your eyes; the flex of you muscles as you fought and the amused quirk of your brow when you inevitably won. he remembered it all and he missed it all so much that he thought it just might suffocate him. to him, every minute without you was another minute closer to asphyxiation.

fortunately, even after six months, you were still the same girl he had always known. the same one who would tie her shoe laces with two loops instead of one and always had to step out the door with her left foot first.

the same girl who knew him better than himself, and who he knew just as well.

so when he walked into your typical getaway spot, you couldn’t really say you were surprised.

hidden and tucked away in the corner of the new rome library you sat, a book you could’ve even say the name of propped open in front of you just in case someone came in and you needed to look occupied.

you hadn’t read a word since you’d gotten in there, for your brain was too busy reeling with thoughts about the boy who was now sliding his way through the front door to the library in search of you.

you heard footsteps enter the otherwise pen-drop silent room and darted your eyes to the page of your book, resting your face in your hand and letting hair fall over your face in hopes it might cover you up and by some miracle, conceal your identity.

but unfortunately for you, jason would know you anywhere.

he stopped in his tracks when his eyes fell on you, his darling girl hiding away in a corner, trying to disguise herself from the world. you weren’t in your official centurion getup like everyone else, but instead jeans and a purple camp jupiter t-shirt that exposed the four lines scored across your arm.

four years. four years that you had known jason, and four years that had been stolen from him just like that.

“yn?” he uttered, asking even though he knew for certain that it was you.

you didn’t answer, just flipped the page of the book you weren’t reading. it bruised his heart a little bit, but he expected nothing less ever since your absence at the welcome party.

he walked closer, testing the water in hopes that you’d at least spare him a glance up. when you didn’t even give him that much, he crossed the room fully until he was standing in front of the table you sat at.

“i braced myself when reyna told me you were mad, but i didn’t expect for you to ignore my existence entirely,” he told you after the silence became too much to bear.

with a huff, you snapped your book dramatically shut and looked up at him, avoiding eye contact and making yourself seem as uninterested as you could possibly scrounge up.

for the first time in months, you took in the beautiful sight that was jason grace. he looked almost the same, with his starry eyes and pretty smile. except he was dressed in a eye-stabbingly bright orange shirt that read camp half-blood on it and was seemingly a size too small, considering how it distractingly hugged his biceps a little too snugly.

he still looked like him, but if he was masquerading around as someone he wasn’t. a son of zeus and not jupiter. a quest leader and not a praetor. a teenage boy, not a soldier.

“library’s closed, and you don’t have authorization to override that rule anymore,” you told him bluntly. “or did you forget how to read, too?”

“okay, ouch,” he nodded, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans to stop himself from fidgeting. but that was the girl he knew: assertive and naturally bossy, for lack of a better word. a true leader, just like himself.

“i’m trying to read, leave,” you mumbled, keeping your eyes off of his.

“i know you’re not reading that,” he rolled his eyes, knowing that you didn’t see it became if you had, he would’ve been chided.

“yes, i am.” you insisted, reopening the book.

“sweetheart,” he sighed, pushing the cover shut again and pointing to the bleary title. “it’s in italian. which if i remember correctly, you don’t speak.”

your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but you were mad at him, gods damn it, and you were gonna act like it.

slamming the book down, you pushed yourself to your feet and began towards the door, not giving him the decency of another word.

poor jason didn’t know what was going on. he didn’t know why you were acting this way or why he didn’t get the overwhelming joy of you running to his arms like annabeth had percy’s. no, instead you ran off at the mention of him and refused to meet his eyes.

he’d lost six months with you, and briefly lost the memories of all four years of you, there was no way he was going to lose you now too.

the fear of losing you— all of you— for good had a grip on him so tight that it made him catch your wrist with his hand before you could leave, and the touch of your skin against his sent a refreshing shock through his senses. one chance was all he needed to make sure you didn’t slip through his fingers again.

“don’t go,” he said. “please. i— i don’t really know what’s wrong, but i know that i want to and that i want to fix it.”

for the first time again, your eyes met his. but where his were soft and concerned, yours were glassy and inflamed.

“you don’t know?” you glowered loudly, voice echoing in the silent and empty library, eyes holding angry tears. “jason, you left me! and for months, i tried to figure out what was wrong with me that made you do it, until everyone reminded me that it doesn’t matter what i think or how i feel, because there’s people to take care of and responsibilities to handle.”

jason stared at you, all the things he’d planned to say suddenly lost as he processed your broken words.

“and yeah, i know now that it was all juno, but by the time i was told, everything had already changed too much.”

“too much?” he questioned, looking down at you like a wounded puppy and yanking on your heartstrings.

it wasn’t his fault, none of it was. the involuntary leaving, the memories being wiped, the identity shattering feeling of being an amnesiac. it was all juno and her twisted plans and jason was just a victim of it, and you knew that.

but he had forgotten you once, so what would stop him from doing so again? or worse, what if he had gotten all these memories of you back and the fresher version of his mind had decided that you just weren’t worth it anymore? maybe you never were.

you were just protecting yourself, your heart.

at first when he left, you’d prayed every night he’d come back, wished on every shooting star and dandelion. but then you were forced to accept that no, he wasn’t coming back and somebody had to step up. you had to step up.

it hurt so hard to have your life flipped upside down and take on more than you could even imagine, you just couldn’t do it again.

who’s to say that the minute you let him back in, he wasn’t going to be ripped right away again?

“too much.” you restated. “before percy showed up, i was filling your position and holding my own. all while people either asked me what happened to you or looked at me like i was some poor, little wounded deer, and helping reyna keep everything from falling apart, and with fucking octavian breathing down my neck! and the whole time i couldn’t think of anything but you, and your stupid…you!”

you groaned and shoved your face in your hands to hide the tears that had already started falling, the frustration becoming too much.

slowly, jason put a hand on your shoulder and pulled you into his chest, to which you let yourself slowly collapse into his embrace, your hands the only barrier between your face and his chest.

he wrapped his arms around you carefully like he’d done many times before, rocking back and forth as a silent attempt to calm you. he felt a little guilty for enjoying the feeling of you in his arms again, given the circumstances.

“i’m sorry,” you whimpered into the cotton fabric of his ugly orange shirt. “it’s not your fault. and you don’t deserve to be yelled at or ignored. i’m so sorry.”

“it’s okay,” he murmured into your hair. “i’m sorry for letting you think there was ever anything that could make me want to leave you. and, i’m sorry for not remembering everything sooner.”

you must’ve looked pretty damn rough for him to be apologizing that his memories were stolen by a goddess.

“you really remember?” you whispered into his chest, scared that if you said it too loudly the answer might change.

“yeah,” he answered, picking his head up off yours and tapping the back of your head to draw you out of his chest.

you didn’t go far, looking up at him while still in his arms, tear-streaked face and all.

“there she is,” he mused. “there’s my pretty girl.”

the frown on your face deepened at that, purely because your face was surely red and covered in tears, and he decided to compliment it anyways.

“everything? you remember it all?” you sniffed.

“everything.” he confirmed. “like how this is where you go when you’re stressed,” he dipped his head down and kissed your cheek.

“and your favorite color’s light blue,” he kissed your other cheek. “and you prefer mystery books to romance,” your forehead. “and i even remember the time i tied your shoe for you and got kicked in the face in exchange.” your nose.

you were eye-to-eye now, drowning in oceanic blue surrounding his blown-up pupils.

a small giggle passed your lips at the last anecdote, pressing a nostalgic smile onto your lips. “i missed you,” you admitted.

“i missed you too,” he said. “can i have a kiss now?”

you smiled and pulled his face to yours, capturing his familiar and dearly missed lips with your own. after all the fussing and fighting you’d done, he could have as many kisses as he wanted.

#jason grace x reader #jason grace #pjo

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