lovesicksolar

[lovesicksolar]

Just once, let me hold you.

Let me pull you close, feel the warmth of you against me,

let my arms become the cage I know you would never choose, but one I would never let break.

I wonder--how warn would you feel in my grasp?

How steady would your heartbeat sound, pressed against mine?

Would it quicken? Would it tremble?

Would you realize, in that moment, that I was made to hold you?

Your scent would linger on my skin, your breath would ghost against my neck.

And I would stay like that forever, if only time would allow me.

If only you would allow me.

But you won't.

And so I do nothing.

I keep my hands at my sides, my distance unbroken,

because if I touch you once, just once,

I may never let go.

-☀️

[lovesicksolar]

Talk to me. Please, just talk.

Tell me every little detail of your day—

the things that make you smile,

the dreams that filled your sleep last night.

Tell me about the little things no one else listens to-

Tell me what you had for breakfast,

the shade of the sky when you first opened your eyes,

the song that clings to your thoughts as you wake.

Let me drink in every word, every breath,

every whisper of sound that leaves your lips

Even if it's anger,

even if it's hate-

oh, how lucky I would be to have your voice carved into me,

to know that for just a moment, your words belong to me and me alone.

I could listen forever. I would listen forever.

So please, won't you speak again?

- ☀️

[lovesicksolar]

I belong to you, even if you never ask.

Even when you push me away,

I’ll stay—quiet, patient,

waiting for the moment you need me.

No matter how far you run,

my heart is yours.

Every thought, every breath, is yours,

whether you see it or not.

I’ll always be yours,

now and forever.

- ☀️

[lovesicksolar]

I could listen to you speak forever, no matter what you say.

The way your voice dances, so effortlessly beautiful, it's all I crave.

Whether you're telling me about your day or sharing the smallest thought, I'd hang on every word-

because as long as your voice is for me, nothing else matters.

[lovesicksolar]

I wish I could love you the way I'm

meant to-

Softly, gently, like sunlight through the curtains,

Like laughter over coffee, like fingers brushing by accident.

I dream of normal things.

Your hand in mine without trembling,

Your voice calling my name without fear,

Your smile-oh, your smile--meant for me, not forced, not trapped.

But love like mine was never meant to be soft.

It clings, it drowns, it twists inside me, A hunger too deep, too sharp, too wrong.

I wish I could stop.

I wish I could love you kindly.

But the more I wish, the more I break.

And if I stripped away this madness, this aching, this need-

Would there be anything left of me at all?

- ☀️

[lovesicksolar]

I rise with you, always.

My light stretches toward you, even when you do not see it.

You are the moon, and I am the sun-forever chasing, forever watching, but never meant to meet.

I watch as you glow in the night, soft and distant, untouched by the world below.

They gaze at you, admire you, whisper your name into the dark-but they do not know you.

Not like I do.

I see the moments between moments, the hesitations, the quiet sighs, the way you pause at an open window, staring at the sky,

never knowing that I am staring back.

I follow, but I do not touch.

I reach, but I do not grasp.

Even though I ache to step closer, to let my warmth wrap around you, to hear your voice & speak my name-

I do not.

I must not.

Because I am the sun, and you are the moon.

And if I ever reached you, if I ever let my fire get too close, I would burn you away.

I would destroy the very thing I cherish most.

So I keep my distance.

I orbit you, always near, never known.

I watch as you drift through your nights, as you smile at strangers,

As i see you reflect my glow onto others.

And it is enough.

It must be enough.

For even if I can never have you, will always be here, keeping you safe in my light, loving you from afar, as I was always meant to.

-☀️

[lovesicksolar]

Started these new meds and my writers block is suddenly gone

Expect lots more stuff cause i got so many ideas for what im going to write

-☀️

[lovesicksolar]

Every breath I take is yours, every thought bends to your name.

If you asked, I would carve my heart into the sky,

so even the stars would know who I belong to.

- ☀️

[lovesicksolar]

You are everything.

The sun, the sky, the breath in my lungs.

You walk, and the world rearranges itself to make way for you.

You speak, and even the wind holds its breath to listen.

I was nothing before you.

I will be nothing without you.

I know it is wrong-the way I watch, the way I linger too long where you once stood,

tracing the air as if it still holds your warmth.

I should not follow your footsteps in the rain,

should not memorize the rhythm of your days,

should not steal little pieces of you to keep close.

And yet, my hands betray me.

My heart betrays me.

Forgive me.

Forgive the way i whisper your name in empty rooms,

the way I dream of carving my devotion into eternity.

I would kneel at your feet, let you break me,

if it meant you would look at me-just once-with love.

I swear, I only wish to protect you.

The world is cruel, filled with eyes that do not deserve to see you, voices that speak your name without reverence,

hands that dare to reach for what is sacred.

I cannot allow it.

I will not allow it.

And I know-I know-I go too far.

The lies I tell for you, the rules I break, the people who have learned, too late, that you are not theirs to touch.

I tell myself I will stop, that I will let you be free.

But then you smile,

and I am lost all over again.

I am weak before you.

A sinner at your altar.

And if this is wrong, then let me sin, again and again and again.

For you

Only for you.

-☀️

[lovesicksolar]

I wish I could put into words how much I love you and adore you. Just knowing you're there….. it makes me feel safe. Warm. I want to protect this feeling forever. I want to protect you forever.

-☀️