#bpd poem

[la1npilledg1rl]

Poetry will always be a part of me

[paragon-httyd]

𝐢 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟

[sunblchedflies]

[graveyard-poetry]

[halfdeadhands]

our trauma fits perfect like puzzle pieces but what an ugly picture we’re building

[borderlined-up-for-the-slaughter]

Abandonment

A crumbling house,

held up by its unstable foundation,

rocks in the wind.

If it falls,

who will fix it then?

Within its walls,

something hidden.

A child.

A flicker.

Only the house knows of their existence.

[trappedinmyemophase]

Wonderland

I once got lost in a Wonderland,

After falling down a hole.

Like the tales of girl who had fallen in once,

It had frightened every soul.

Except this Wonderland had no mad hatter,

There was no Cheshire Cat.

I could find no Red Queen, no White Rabbit,

Nor the place the caterpillar sat.

The most beautiful thing was also the worst,

A forest ripe with bright flowers and old trees.

Poisonous pollen and throat gripping vines,

The smell alone brought me to my knees.

This Wonderland smelled putrid and damp,

With car sized flies buzzing around.

Their eyes scrutinising and watching with hunger,

Killing on their brains, I could tell by their glare.

There were cross-bred creatures that played on the mind,

Ant-cockroach hybrids that preyed on the weak.

Horrible beasts that smelt the insanity,

Of the broken, the helpless, the meak.

I was trapped in this Wonderland alone and afraid,

Devoid of all happiness, company and joy.

Its fed on the instability of the self,

A conniving and treacherous ploy.

I got cuts and bruises from shadowy fiends,

When I wished for the mad teas at the Hatter's home.

Instead of psychedelic journeys with eccentric figures,

I was tortured and broken, and left all alone.

My trip to Wonderland was more like a plummet,

It twisted and morphed the inside of my soul.

When I finally climbed out of the treacherous pit,

I knew a constant climb was my eternal toll.

[emptyprescription]

9.27.23 I Stay High, Though I Feel Low

Live my life in a lucid dream

Life and Death and the places in between

When I leave I will lock myself in my room

And spends my time with things unseen

Fill my time with thoughts and feelings

And Ill tell them all Ive been busy

And ill get higher than the tallest ceilings

I like it when my head is noisy

It replaces the empty hole in my heart

And I can cope with it by creating

But nothing takes it away, not even art

I was born empty, so hollow

Always waiting to be filled

Something to replace my sorrow

Something to pass the time

But I'm busy, I’m fine, I got work to do

And again it is me in my room

And the voices that consume

[lonelylavenderghost]

I live in a world

that was never built for me.

I'm too broken, too scared

too controlled by BPD.

you see, I live on

the inside of this world

that only I can see.

through a lense made of

glass, metal, and screws

trying to hold together

all these pieces of me.

I know I feel far too strong

compared to those

that aren't like me,

but don't you realize

this is all I know?

there's no way for me

to see the other side.

no way to live

a life without BPD.

cause yes I am emotional,

and I'm stubborn, and I cry.

why don't you see that

all this hate for it,

is you hating the parts

of me that make me?

I spent far too long

being ashamed of

a disorder I didn't choose,

a disorder I didn't want,

far less did I ever need.

yet why should I hate

the disorders I have,

when I know I'll never be

on the outside of the screen?

so call me abusive.

say I'm manipulate.

say all the terrible things

you choose to believe.

I wasn't born to please you,

and no, I didn't ask for this.

but if you hate my BPD,

then that means you hate me.

I'm not sick. I'm not broken.

you just don't live

any sort of life like me.

you have no right

to hate my kind

when you've never

been hurt by me.

maybe some people

think that I'm foolish,

announcing the disorders in me.

except I'm not here to serve you,

you have no place in my life

if all you see is my BPD.

so learn that we're kind.

learn that we're caring,

more than most people

ever can hope to be.

learn that we're strong,

and learn that we're human

no matter which battles you see.

9-26-23

[paragon-httyd]

𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢

𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖞𝖔𝖚

[onlyanothermundane]

Emergency Exit

I wish my body had an emergency exit, so that I could leave it whenever these feelings become too much to handle.

I would just run down the hallway, passing the doors to forgotten memories, that I never want to uncover again.

Sprinting for the exit leading me out of all that I am and don't wanna be.

Breathing in some fresh air and feeling free from everything that should have never happened but changed me deeply.

And when I remember who I am without these feelings haunting me, I will be ready to go and take back control over my body.

-Ri.

[graveyard-poetry]

life is a whore first it fucks you then it wants you to pay the price.