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Google+ reindeer edition <3

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Mondays - The Types Of Relationships - Long Distance Relationships

Monday – The Types of Relationships -The Long Distance Relationship

Being in a long distance relationship always has its difficulties. Whether you define long distance as across an island, across the sea, or halfway around the world, long distance relationships do get tough. For anyone who’s been in love, you know that the long distance relationships really escalate things to the next level: the visits and time spent together become more amazing, the phone calls become longer and more passionate, the fights become rougher and more fragile, but above all, the love becomes more amazing.

Yes, I said it. Call me crazy. Being in a long distance relationship makes the care and compassion that more fulfilling because everything does hold more value. Sure, the feeling of seeing someone every day does mean a lot and makes love grow pretty strong, but a long distance relationship strengthens even the weakest of people. Yes, it’s hard, but if you have committed to be in one, you have proven that you are among the toughest of people. You have proven to yourself and anyone else that your love is so strong; you are willing to sacrifice a part of your comfort for something greater.

Getting and committing into one is definitely a major decision, and is one that could either define your strength as a person or a lover or could absolutely destroy you if you don’t handle it correctly. But above all, there is something to remember when dealing with or in a long distance relationship – no matter what, the both of you are stronger than any obstacle or force in this world, that you can accomplish anything, and that the strength of your love can overcome anything.

A long distance relationship might be the greatest risk in the world. It also may give the greatest rewards in the world. Dream big.

DO’s: Reassure one another that when the going gets tough, everything is going to be okay. Stay in touch with each other frequently, call or video chat with each other every night if you can. Tell each other that you love each other very often. Communicate often; let each other know what you doing. Surprise each other with gifts. Celebrate the strength of the both of you.

DON’T’s: Never go silent for days at a time, especially during fights. Never try and seek other members of the opposite sex to ease your pain. Never do drastic things without letting the other one know. Don’t say things recklessly.

-Richard

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the person whom i was so madly in love with has left me for someone else. she left me so fast that it made me wonder whether or not if she really loved me. i don't know what to feel anymore. what should i do?

I believe that you two were in love at some point. You can't start a relationship without having positive emotions towards each other. Love is really hard to define. No one said that it would be easy or that it would last a life time, they only said that it would be worthwhile.

And it's true - love is worthwhile. It teaches you things that books and school can't teach you. Love is filled with good and bad experiences. Some experiences will leave scars and others will leave nothing but happy memories. Love is a tragedy of its own.

Although you two have parted ways (whether or not you wanted it to happen), it doesn't mean that it wasn't meant to happen. Somewhere out there in the future, you may end up being together again. That is something that only time can tell.

Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Don't drown yourself in misery, embrace it. Learn from what caused your relationship to be what it is now. Be hopeful for the future. Who knows? There may be someone out there waiting for you, but you're too hurt to see it.

You'll be okay, friend.You'll be a-okay.

~ Michelle 

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The "friend-zone"

It's so funny that I am writing about this particular subject because it was not only highly requested by a few close friends of mine, but because I've been put in this position so many times that I find it strange how I have not shared my thoughts on it.

THE FRIEND-ZONE

You've heard people talk about it. You've probably overheard your girl/guy friends sulk about it. Heck, you probably even watched the video that KevJumba put up (featuring the gorgeous Jamie Chung) on it. It sucks when you're getting to know someone and just as you were about to ask if they have any sort of mutual feeling towards you as you do for them, they reject you in the nicest way possible. "I only see you as a friend," or "Let's just be friends."

It's not the easiest thing to deal with, I know. I've been in that situation far too many times. The worst part about it is, it takes you a long time to accept their answer. You'll sulk for a while in self-pity wondering the "what if's" or the "should've, could've, would've, but didn't do". 9 out of 10 times the answer is because of timing. Now I can't really tell you whether or not this plan is foolproof or not, but given the circumstances that I've been through, it's worth a shot if all else fails.

Exhibit A: You just got to know this girl and you've been feeling her for a while. You guys talk to each other just about every day through texting, phone calls, and instant messaging. A month passes and you want to ask her if she's feeling any emotions towards you. Her response is: Can't we just be friends?

Exhibit B: You've known this girl for a long time. Heck, for all you know you two could be considered best friends because of how well you two know each other. You've been through all of her ups and downs (relationships, school, family, etc.) and you are normally the person that she turns to. You finally find the courage to ask her if she likes you, but her response is: I'm sorry. I like you too, but I need time to think about it.

In both situations, there are many unforseen variables that could have triggered a negative response.

The girl has a lot of emotional baggage. I'm not trying to say that it's a bad thing. Some people deal with the past at a much slower pace than others. With that said, it'll take a while for her to knock down her wall of defense before she decides to let you into her life. The only way you can get through that wall is through baby steps. Building trust is key to doing just that.

The girl is into someone else. Ever remember that time when you got dumped and when you found out a cute person liked you, you immediately ran to them for comfort? It's kind of like that. You're the parachute in case they fall (or in this case fail with another person). If this is the case, don't bother. If someone doesn't acknowledge the genuinity of your actions/gestures, don't waste your time on them. No one likes being used.

The girl likes you too, but she is scared of change. This one may sound stupid, but you'd be surprised by how many girls actually feel this way. It can be change of friendship to relationship, how others would react to the relationship, and more. This one will require a lot of reassurance and patience.

She doesn't know what she wants. I think of all of the possible reasons why she said no, this is probably the most common reason. It sucks knowing that you are stuck in between being "just a friend" and "potential significant other". Here is where you'll have to decide whether or not you want to proceed giving it all that you've got to get to the "potential significant other" side, but without pressuring them into thinking that way. Never pressure the other person to be in a relationship with you. Not only will that make them push you away, but it will only force you into the "just a friend" circle with the rest of the guys who wanted to be with her. Of the 4 choices, this one requires the most time to deal with. Most people give up because they want to know if that person likes them right away. It just requires a lot of understanding and patience.

Even though I wrote this in the perspective for the male audience, it can go vice-versa. You don't necessarily have to always be stuck in the friendzone. Again, it's all about timing and building that foundation of trust. Hopefully this helps some of you guys out (who requested this blog post)!

~ Michelle

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So me and this guy have been talking for a year, but we never really defined the relationship. Whenever I ask him about it, he always says that we'll have our moment. A couple of months ago, he told me that he couldn't do this right now and that we should focus more on school (we were also long distance). Honestly, I was devastated by it, and still am to this point. If he really cared about me, he would've tried to make it work, right?

Disclaimer: I am only answering this through personal experiences.

There are so many unknown variables that could be a reason or reasons as to why the two of you didn't work out. Long distance relationships to begin with is something that is difficult to deal with on its own. It is probable that he may have gotten tired of having a LDR and has someone else in mind or that perhaps he really is too busy to be in a relationship with you.

I remember this one incident where I wanted to be with a particular person, but he told me that he didn't think the timing was right. He had a busy schedule and didn't have the time to be with me as he would like to. His reasoning was that he didn't want to get into a relationship with me until he knows that he has the time to be with someone - to give someone all the attention that they deserve.

Perhaps the guy who you were talking to does have feelings for you. The feelings may be just as strong as you would hope they would be, but the timing is off.

There are some guys who don't want to rush things. They want things to fall into place without being pressured into getting into a relationship. Unfortunately, I can't say if he really cared about you or not. He could be like the guy that I described earlier (cares about you enough to not hurt you by not giving you enough attention if you were to be in a relationship) or he could be a selfish person.

Since you've talked to him for about a year, only you are able to tell what his intentions were. If things were meant to happen, it will happen. I am sorry that you are still feeling the pain since, but you must'nt be sad. Although I don't know you personally, I'm sure you're a wonderful person. There's always a somebody for everybody out there. It'll just take time. You have to go through a couple of heart breaks to find the right person. I promise.

~ Michelle

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thank u for taking advice. so, i really like this girl and she really likes me. how do i make the move on her to tell her everything and that i wanna be with her?? thanks.

Hello, and thanks for asking for advice! Your question is an interesting situation, that I've been in a few times, but one I had difficulty in approaching before. Saying and doing the right things can make the difference between a beautiful beginning or a hard end, so you definitely want to do things right here. There's a simple concept when it comes to these situations, and it is the concept of emotional highs.

Emotional highs are usually that really warm feeling inside of you when you really enjoy the person you around, it's almost like that warm feeling that graces your heart when you first realize that there may be something more than a friendship. So to capitalize on the situation well, you want to get the other person into a situation where the both of you can feel comfortable, like the feeling is brand new again, and then you can ask her to be yours and so forth.

So do something amazing or romantic with her. Go for a long walk on the beach and point to the sky and tell her something like "the space in that sky is the only measurement appropriate for how much I love you", take her to dinner and be relaxed while easing into the question, invite her over and make her dinner and pop in her favorite movie, if you know the moment is right, good things happen.

The one thing you don't want to do (and I've made this mistake) is get so bottled up with feelings and send her a text or phone call and say "Hey, we need to talk". That sounds very confronting and as far as emotional highs go, that just seems aggressive and pushy. Don't go asking her after she's said no to you once either, it usually is better to move on in those sorts of situations. 

It is also important to note in those kinds of situations that during the time you spend together right before you ask her out, you want to be really relaxed. Don't stay silent and seem like you're going to ask her to marry you and appear nervous, if you stay relaxed and you think positive, chances are you'll ease it into it really nicely and if you know that she likes you, that magic will happen. Tell her that you realize that the both of you can make something amazing out of it, kiss her if you can. The sky is the limit.

I want to personally wish you good luck on this, know that we're here anytime you want us to help you. Love is a magical thing, and when you find the right person, it really feels like the first time. Give her something amazing!

-Richard 

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Love Where We Are, Trust Where We're Going

So, my wonderful girlfriend Michelle decided to type our little introduction for this blog, so I figure I'd do the right thing and give the first post to talk about what this is really all about and give some background info as to what I figure out the concept of love to be and how I envision it.

Love is a crazy thing, it seems like we spend ridiculous amounts of time to try and get it right, so many reasoning sessions with ourselves and Facebook posts asking discrete questions; for me it's been no different. The past year for me has been filled with falling in love and falling out of it, hitting highs and hitting the ground, spending time trying to reevaluate everything. Hours spent up at night, so many advice sessions with friends trying to figure out where I went wrong, and to anyone who has gained a headache trying to figure out heartaches, I have been there with you. But you have to remember that things do in fact get better, that love eventually makes sense and if you seek stability and stay patient, good things will happen for you.

You'll know when it feels right. For me, I was with someone way different then I was in every aspect to the point where our weekend schedules were dramatically different and when we saw each other, it was frustration over the other's activities. You may encounter those people on your journey. I also was with someone who was a near opposite sex replication of myself - great until the fact that we figured out we could never fix anything because we were too busy wanting to solve it to heal ourselves, and that person had a past I was not ready for. Michelle is my perfection because she is a balance of everything I need - she's funny and creative and we can talk to each other for hours on end without getting bored, and the fact she's different to a point where we make each other better with opposite thoughts. I know I love her when I feel like there is not enough space in this universe to express my love for her. You know how the media and fairytales paint the concept of "the one"? Michelle is that girl, and it is something I feel every single second. 

Do not be scared to ease up, face your problems and feel free. If you feel like you aren't social enough, start by talking to members of the opposite sex on Facebook. Small talk, make that conversation, no one is asking you to launch yourself into a club talking to six chicks or guys and once. Be honest with yourself, if there is a past that needs to be dealt with, deal with it and move forward. Don't be scared of change, it is the most misunderstood concept in the world and with the right care, it can be beautiful. Above all, stay patient. Good things will come, keep yourself busy and smile until then (it's attractive). 

Michelle and I will get into specific advice later, but please, if you have any questions to ask or advice to seek, we are here for you. We both realize that the gift to communicate with the world is a beautiful one, and with both of us having attention brought on us in the past, we see this blog as an exciting endeavor and we can't wait to get to know all of you. There is no blog without you :)

-Richard

BONUS: I'll give all of you a freebie when in the pursuit of the opposite sex and during a relationship with the opposite sex: be unpredictable in a good way and use surprises to your advantage. For instance, for every day in the month of December (and potentially beyond), I send Michelle a voicemail a day telling her how much I love her, and I never tell her when I send them so that it keeps her guessing. I also pick up on what Michelle wants, she talked about how she wanted a blogging video camera and I decided to get one for her and surprise her with the fact that I bought it for her. The trick here? Pay attention to detail. The opposite sex will love it when you do that, trust me. :) 

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Love So Wifi

And so it begins!

+ ABOUT US

Everyone needs TLC (tender loving care), but in a relationship, it requires more than just that. Being in a relationship requires another kind of TLC - trust, communication, and loyalty (goes hand in hand with honesty). It doesn't matter what kind of a relationship that you are in, there are solutions to every problem possible. We're no relationship-gurus, but that doesn't mean that we can't help others out who wants advice. 

+ WHY "LOVE SO WIFI"?

Richard and I (Michelle) are in a long distance relationship. Our relationship is dependent on communication considering that we are not able to be physically together due to the distance that has separated the two of us. Because of that we are constantly taking advantage of technology to keep in touch with one another (texting, phone calls, letters, e-mails, and web chatting).

+ WEEKLY ROUND UP (What we'll post on)

Monday - Dealing with various types of relationships. There are various types of relationships out there: best friends who became lovers, long-term relationships, forced relationships (let's hope you aren't a part of this category), long-distance relationships, and more. Got a question? We'll answer all your questions in regards to various types of relationships on Mondays.

Tuesday - Little tips on how to keep your relationship thriving. It's always nice to find out what other people do to keep their relationship going. Some people do daily phone calls and others send some snail mail to their significant other. Want to know a few tips and tricks to keep the love flowing? Stay tuned to our Tuesday posts.

Wednesday - How to fix common problems in relationships. As crazy as it sounds, everyone suffers from the same problems when in a relationship. Sometimes we get so caught up in the moment (more like argument) that we forget that the problem can be easily resolvable. Let us help you out!

Thursday - Finding the "perfect" half. Thursdays are days when we feel like answering questions from individuals who are seeking their "perfect" half. We don't want to just hear from people who are in relationships - we want to help everyone out. Tune in on Thursdays to see what we've got to say to our love-seeking friends.

Friday - Personal relationship updates. We figured this blog wouldn't be fun if we didn't add our own updates on our relationship. We are pretty darn sure that this is the main reason as to why people would even follow our blog to begin with, are we right or are we right?

Thanks for reading and have a lovely (haha, get it?) week!