luckyspike

[luckyspike]

No one wants to talk about how intimate jump starting someones car is.

[luckyspike]

Listen when I picked up the next book on my list, Cryptozoology A to Z, I did not expect to be slapped in the face immediately with quotes from a guy I’m deeply familiar with from all of my readings about Mount Everest

It just really surprised me is all

[luckyspike]

[luckyspike]

In case you’re wondering why my reading list has not updated (nobody is) it’s summer and I’ve been doing Activities and Yard Work and so reading has taken a back seat.

That being said I HAVE been slowly working my way through The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time in my life and let me tell you guys

Have you read this thing? It’s good as hell who knew

[luckyspike]

I strive to accomplish droogs level of utterly unbothered but honestly I have a spade on one shoulder and a club on the other

heist gone wrong. don't talk to the boss. don't look him into the eyes. well. eye. best not to be in the same room with him right now. or building. or elevator. but here we are. and the elevator music is not helping.

[luckyspike]

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

[luckyspike]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[luckyspike]

if you are going to need some kind of sedative for 4th of july fireworks for your pets NOW IS THE TIME TO SCHEDULE THOSE APPOINTMENTS TO ASK FOR THEM

NOT WHEN ITS 2 DAYS AWAY

[luckyspike]

do y'all think the parallel mouse America is like also dealing with resurgent mouse fascism or have they been doing better

[luckyspike]

Sir Terry Pratchett is a master of the written word but he ain’t shit for the way he trained me to accept dumb naming conventions because i got three missed calls on my phone from Scam Likely and I spent like half a day wondering who I knew named Scam. 

[luckyspike]

Description: [A video of a woman riding a galloping horse bareback while holding a large rainbow flag.]

[luckyspike]

[luckyspike]

When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

[luckyspike]

On the first day God said "let there be light, and even if there isn't any just take the photo, don't worry about it".

[luckyspike]

so what youre gonna wanna do is crush the garlic and ginger instead of just slicing it ok, it releases more of those good flavors. yoshi is going to eat me and turn me into an egg now, i love you. remember everything i taught you