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I have been off my game lately and not making dad jokes :/

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Who wants to come be friends with an insert great qualities here goalie guy??

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I'm waiting for Delly to yell at me...

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It's a great night to stress watch a game for a team I'm no longer on.

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In other news, thanks to Charlie for pointing it out, I'm going to join the local baseball team.

According to the internet, they can't do any worse 🤷🏻‍♂️

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TV shows are so unrealistic. A couple has clearly had sex and when they cut back to the scene, they're in their undies?! Unrealistic expectations!!

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I can’t even describe how fucked up my insta algorithm is 😭

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while i was not the anon, i also find sushi gross.

darling anon, you are so valid. ❤️

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It's been a hot moment since we've posted one of these, so we wanted to throw another silly little quiz your way! This one especially made me laugh. As always, feel free to reblog and share your results!

where do you fall on the boytoy-trophy husband scale?

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sometimes i overthink the concept of sleep and it keeps me awake at night.

like... we really just... have a raised cushy platform to lay horizontal on, cover up, and... time lapse.

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Love going to watch baseball and just eating a bunch of hotdogs

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i have sweet child of mine stuck in my head

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I like the kind of hot dog places that have chopped onions and hot peppers in addition to the usual condiments. Bless those places.

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H-O-T-T-O-G-O.

I'M GETTING 5 HOT DOGS TO GO.

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Can’t believe round 1 I have to play against all my besties from my old team 😭

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My dogs keep moving on the blanket and shocking us. This is outrageous!