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:)

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a pile of unused notebooks.

everyone tells you you're gifted, smart. the pressure of it hurts. its like when people tell you, "you would be a ravenclaw." and thats what you'll always think of yourself as. its okay to be something else. you don't have to fit their expectations. in the end, you'll look back and think; "im glad i stopped.." you feel as though no one will truly understand. your thoughts tend to spiral and spiral. take a deep breath. write that thought in your head. those fantasy books you read as a child? "you're so smart!" "wow they can read at such a young age!" rather, you used them to escape. escape what? your parents? your "friends"? you're so angry at them. but time passes and you think "maybe its not that bad" "maybe i was overreacting" but something happens and you get mad again. its just a cycle you cannot escape. advice? rather than adjusting your personality to accommodate the world, change the world, for people like you.

man..

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This quiz is pretty

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MAKI MY BELOVED 

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Interesting....

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"You're confused. Maybe you're at that titular time when people expect you to know who you are, but you've had no time to figure that out yet. Maybe you had figured that out, but something that happened threw your entire life course off track. You're trying to pick up the pieces and scrape something together, something, anything that will work. Its okay. Its okay to not know everything. Take a deep breath. You'll figure everything out in time."

...why you gotta hit me with realness at 10 in the morning 😭

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BAHAHAHAHAHA

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*giggling inside

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This quiz was so cozy 😭😭😭

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High nineties, actually 😉

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This is lit

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This is a really cool concept

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Matches my Myers Briggs

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in for a penny, in for a pound — "for the mission," a family is found 💕

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sweet song

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😭😭😭😭

An Almost Proposal

***This is my longest post yet so grab a beverage of choice and a plushie to keep your company. It's going to be a long, long read.

[LOID and FRANKY are having an intense discussion at an outdoor café. YOR is out running errands when she sees them.] 

LOID (to FRANKY): I already told you I tried thinking of over 800 ways to do it but... 

LOID: *sighs, heavy-hearted* 

LOID: None of them seem good enough.  

LOID: *fiddles with small velvet box in his gloved hand* 

LOID: What if she doesn’t even like it? 

FRANKY: *spots YOR walking over to them* 

FRANKY: Why don’t you ask her yourself? She’s heading our way now. 

LOID: What— 

YOR: Loid! Franky! Imagine running into you two here! 

LOID: Yor!  

LOID: *quickly stuffs his hands in his pockets* 

LOID: What...what are you doing here? 

FRANKY: Is that any way to greet your wife? 

LOID: Shut up, Franky. 

YOR: Is Loid mad at me? What if they were talking about something important? What if they...don’t want me here? 

YOR: I...I just dropped off Anya at Becky’s house and decided to run some errands before going home. I-I hope I’m not interrupting anything. 

FRANKY: Oh no, not at all. We were just bouncing around some ideas... 

FRANKY: *glances sideways at LOID, a sly glint in his eye* 

FRANKY: As a matter of fact, we would love to hear your opinion on something... 

LOID: *blanches* 

FRANKY: *ignores LOID’s frantic hand signals from behind YOR* 

YOR: Sure, I’d be happy to help. 

FRANKY: Great! What Loid wants to know is— 

LOID: *about to have a heart attack* 

LOID: Nothing! It’s nothing! 

FRANKY: Oh, it’s something all right. It’s definitely something.  

LOID: *looks at FRANKY murderously* 

FRANKY: *ignores LOID* 

FRANKY: He wants to know what’s the best way to propose to someone.  

YOR: Propose? Propose what? 

LOID & FRANKY: 0_0 

LOID: Thank God my wife is so innocent... 

FRANKY: Propose... 

FRANKY: …marriage.  

YOR: Oh! That! Of course!  

YOR: *laughs nervously* 

FRANKY: He’s asking for a friend, of course, seeing as how he’s already married to you. 

YOR: He’s asking for a friend? Is the friend...you? 

FRANKY: *full-body shock* 

LOID: What’s THAT look for? 

FRANKY: *clasps YOR’s hand as tears stream down his face* 

FRANKY: Yor, you think...you think I can get a woman to marry me someday? 

YOR: Why, of course I do! You’re going to make some lucky lady very happy someday.  

FRANKY: Oh, Yor, that’s the most confidence anyone’s ever had in me since...well, ever... 

LOID: *cuts in between them and snatches YOR’s hand back* 

LOID: That’s quite enough of that. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ in whispers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

LOID: That’s my wife’s hand you’re holding! 

FRANKY: *grins toothily* 

FRANKY: Someone is in a little too deep. 

LOID: I am not! It’s only because...if someone sees Yor holding hands with another man, they might get the wrong idea... 

FRANKY: Yeah, sure. That's the reason you’re so anxious to take her back. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end whispers~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

FRANKY: So, Yor, what do you think? How would you want someone to propose to you?  

LOID: You don’t have to answer that, Yor. 

LOID: Although I wouldn’t mind the inspiration... 

YOR: No, I want to help. 

YOR: *thinks hard, then brightens* 

YOR: The best way to propose to someone is... 

LOID & FRANKY: *leaning in eagerly* 

YOR: With respect! 

LOID & FRANKY: ... 

LOID & FRANKY: WHAT.  

FRANKY: *recovers first, then thumps LOID on the back* 

FRANKY: Well, there you have it, Loid! The best way to propose to someone! It’s so obvious I wonder why we didn’t think of it ourselves! 

LOID: *deflated* 

LOID: Yes, of course...It was...staring me in the face...the whole time... 

FRANKY: Now you can go tell this...friend...of yours the best way to propose to his lady love. 

LOID: I will. Erm, thanks, Yor.  

YOR: Of course. Anything I can do to help!  

LOID: Well, I think we’re done here so why don’t I walk home with you? 

YOR: Are you sure? You two looked like you were having a good time. I just wanted to stop by and say hello. 

LOID: No, I’m sure.  

YOR: All right then. It was nice to see you again, Franky. Come by and visit us sometime. 

FRANKY: Oh, I will. I’m waiting on some good news that should be coming very, very soon, and when it does...I’ll swing by to celebrate. 

YOR: Please do. 

LOID: *grimaces as he tips his hat* 

LOID: Franky. 

FRANKY: *gives LOID a cheeky grin and two thumbs up* 

[As soon as YOR and LOID turn their backs, FRANKY shakes his head.] 

FRANKY: Sheesh. That guy’s got his work cut out for him. 

LOID: *walks home with YOR, hands still stuffed in his pockets* 

LOID: So what did she mean by that? Was that code for something? No, of course not. She didn’t even know we were talking about her. But that means her answer didn’t give away anything at all! I still don’t know how I’m going to do this. I’m back at square one. 800 ideas and nothing to show for it! Come on, think, Twilight. Surely you can do better than this! If only I could come across some clue... 

YOR: Um...Loid? 

LOID: *stops abruptly, causing YOR to trip. He reaches out a hand to steady her* 

LOID: What? Oh no. Was she saying something? Was I ignoring her this whole time? Does she find me inattentive? Uncaring? Or worse, a...a horrible husband?! I knew it! She’s mad at me now. Well, she has every right to be. I’ve been so preoccupied that I can’t even take the time to listen to her when we’re together. All right, pull yourself together, Twilight. You can do this. You can— 

LOID: Ahem. Yes, Yor?  

YOR: Er...while I think it’s very sweet that you held my hand for this entire walk and you even kept it in your pocket to keep me warm, you...you’ve been fidgeting a lot. I’m worried that you’ll wear a hole in your pocket and the other thing you have in there will fall out. 

LOID: *freezes as the color drains from his face* 

LOID: I’m still holding YOR’s hand?! Please don’t tell me that I put her hand in the same pocket as... 

[LOID forces himself to look. His heart plummets. He pulls their intertwined hands out of his pocket, leaving the velvet box in there.]

LOID: Yes, well. I apologize. I was thinking very hard about this...friend of mine and how I was going to use your idea to help him. However, I can do that later. Right now, I should be listening to what you’re saying. 

YOR: Oh no, I wasn’t saying anything! I was very much enjoying our walk together. I’m just worried since you seem so tense. If...if this isn’t overstepping bounds, how about you tell me a little more about your friend’s situation and I’ll see if I can do anything further to help. 

[LOID thinks for a moment, then pulls YOR over to a nearby bench. They sit and LOID takes off his hat, twirling it on his free hand.] 

LOID: There’s not much to say, really. My friend has been with his lady for a while now. Neither one of them was looking for a serious relationship in the beginning and honestly, he’s surprised it’s lasted this long. However, what surprises him even more is...what developed during their time together. At first, spending time with her baffled him. She was so unlike anyone he’d ever met that it took time for him to figure her out. 

LOID: *bows his head, chuckling wryly*  

LOID: To be fair, he still doesn’t have her figured out. But he likes that, in a way. It keeps things interesting, keeps him on his toes. And there’s other things about her, too. Qualities that caught him off-guard, but things that he wouldn’t give up for the world and now can’t live without: her selflessness, her strength, her tenacity...and her tenderness.  

LOID: *moves YOR’s hand onto his knee, absently tracing her fingers with his thumb* 

LOID: And they work so well together. When he has trouble with something, she encourages him and teaches him, presenting new perspectives. When she struggles, he does what he can to support her and be there for her. It’s not every day that people find someone who complements them like that.  

LOID: *leans back into the bench and looks up at the sky which was turning a rosy hue* 

LOID: I guess that’s why he wants everything to be perfect. He wants to show her that even though their relationship wasn’t supposed to be serious at first, now he wants to prove that he’s never been more serious about anything in his life...than making their relationship real. And making it last.  

YOR: She sounds like a very special lady. 

LOID: She is... 

LOID: *bolts upright* 

LOID: I mean, from what I hear! From my friend! 

YOR: *giggles* 

YOR: And your friend sounds like he’s found his match. 

LOID: *glances at their interlaced fingers* 

LOID: That he has. 

YOR: *squeezes LOID’s hand* 

LOID: *looks up at YOR, surprised at the look in her eyes* 

YOR: Loid, I don’t know this friend of yours, but I know you. I know how intelligent and talented and creative you are. I know how hard you try. I know how much you want to help. The fact that you’re so worried about your friend tells me how much you care. However, if you carry on like this, you’re going to worry yourself to death and then you won’t be able to help your friend at all! So I want you to do something for me. 

LOID: W-what is it? 

LOID: YOR never asks for anything... 

YOR: I want you to believe in yourself. Believe in yourself the way Anya and I believe in you. Believe that you can and will help your friend. Believe that everything will work out. I know it will because I know you. I know you can do anything. 

LOID: *stares at YOR as a strange feeling washes over him, YOR’s words baptizing him in her unshakable faith, momentarily absolving him of the anxiety, fear, and stress he’s suppressed for so many years* 

YOR: Loid, are you...okay? 

[LOID’s hand goes limp and his hat falls from his fingers.] 

YOR: Loid! Your hat! Here, let me... 

YOR: *catches LOID’s hat just before it hits the ground. She holds it out to him, but he doesn’t move* 

YOR: Loid? Please say something. 

LOID: *unable to speak because he’s fighting every instinct to get down on one knee and propose to her right then and there. Instead, he leans forward and kisses her forehead* 

YOR: What...what was that for? 

LOID: For being my special lady.

YOR: O-oh... 

LOID: *takes the hat and places it back on his head, then pulls YOR to her feet* 

LOID: Come on, Yor. Let’s go home.  

YOR: O-okay.  

LOID: Only this time... 

YOR: Yes? 

LOID: Let me hold your other hand. 

LOID: *takes YOR’s other hand and places it in his other pocket, then walks home with one hand holding onto his wife and the other hand holding onto a small velvet box, hoping to join the two someday soon* 

***Special thanks to Nick Offerman for the inspiration. And yes, I mean THAT Nick Offerman. The Ron Swanson guy. Who’s married to Karen Walker. If you don’t know who any of those people are, please Google them. I promise you it will be worth your time.