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lupinobi · 1 year ago

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So long, my love (Asahi x Nishinoya)

Summary: "There are little to no rules when it comes to love. But when love is left to wonder and wait, love grows tired." Asahi waited for Noya as much as he could, but time made love cool down, and with his heart seeking for a new reason to beat, he found his way to Mei. His heart, still loyal to the love he once had for Noya, knew it was time to move on. Six years later, with a comfortable life, he is face to face once again in front of the guy he loved for a long time, and as much as he wants to give in to what his heart wants, his life is not with him anymore.

"So long, my love... it was a lovely ride being in love with you."

Word count: 2,837

Warnings: Just some fluff and angst. Just in case, I'm letting you know.

Notes: Mention of one of my ocs, Mei Aoki. I will post more about her and the rest eventually :D

Had he known his day was going to be like that, he would've avoided the park.

The first sunrays of the day hit him in the face just before his daughters jumped into the bed to wake him up. Asahi barely had a second to gasp for air before Nagisa and Asuka hugged him as they giggled playfully. He recomposed himself and sat on the bed, tickling them as Mei walked into the room.

"Girls, I told you to wake daddy up gently. This isn't gently", Mei said shaking her head but smiling as she saw the girls hugging Asahi once again.

"I don't mind, this is the life I always imagined for us", Asahi replied, kissing the twins' foreheads. "Good morning to you too."

"Good morning", Mei replied, leaning in to leave a gentle kiss on Asahi's lips he gladly took and smiled. "Okay, so the girl's already had breakfast, in case you couldn't tell by the milk mustaches they have. I'll go take a shower, and you can get them ready."

"You heard that, buggies?" Asahi asked looking at his daughters. "I'm choosing your outfits today."

The twins smiled and ran towards the hallway, turning back to Asahi as he slowly got out of bed.

The routine was something he got used to pretty easily. At first, the routine of having his first formal relationship since... since him. It wasn't hard to get the hang of it. Soon enough he asked Mei to move in with him, and before they knew it, the twins were on the way. And it was something he loved. The moment he saw his daughters for the first time was the moment he knew he had an even bigger purpose than the one he thought he had at first. And everything was worth it. The disappointment in his parents' eyes when him and Mei broke the news of the pregnancy, the rushed wedding that was regardless full of the love he once imagined, the nervousness of his friends who wanted to learn to be proper uncles for his kids, the late night shifts he and Mei had to work, every single thing was worth it.

Eventually he didn't think of him. The pain his goodbye brought to him started to slowly fade away. He was okay.

By the time Mei was done showering, he already had the girls dressed, hair brushed and put up in little pigtails with tiny bows Tanaka and Kiyoko bought them for their birthday. Once Mei got dressed and got ready, he kissed her and the girls goodbye.

"I'll be back before dinner, so we can cook something when I come back. Make sure to pick the girls up by four, my mom has a bowling club event later today", she said, smiling at him as she blew him a kiss by the front door.

"Will do, don't worry", he reassured her, as he waved goodbye to the girls.

"Bye daddy!" Nagisa said.

"Have a good day at work, papa" Asuka added.

"Love you", he replied, and the three of them repeated it.

Over the past six years, he had been doing good at work, enough that he had a more flexible schedule. He was thankful for it. It gave him time to spend with the girls, and more time to spend with Mei. That was all he wanted, and he certainly loved being around his family. Occasionally, it gave him time to take the girls back to Miyagi to visit his family and friends. He was truly doing amazing, and he enjoyed the life he had. He really did.

But sometimes a brief flashback took over his mind, and a familiar heartache visited him like a long lost friend.

That was, at least, when he saw the old pictures. He never had the courage to tell Mei about him... about Noya. He asked himself why would he have to tell her? He was his past, and the feelings were buried in the past, or at least that was something he wanted so bad to make himself believe to be true. The reality, the crude reality, was that he still had love to spare for him. And it didn't matter how much he wanted to leave all of that behind, it was a part of him his heart was holding onto really hard.

As he stepped outside the shower, he shook his head. He had to focus, and not let the past catch up with him and the good life him and Mei had built for their family. There were more important things than his high school boyfriend. His daughters were more important. His marriage was more important.

He got ready as quickly as he could, and barely had something to eat before he stepped outside the house, making his way to his office. He was lucky he had a job that required him to be creative, that allowed him to distract himself from the thoughts that came to his head every now and then. He was good at his job, and it was enough to make a living. Combined with Mei's income, they lived comfortably and were able to spend time with their daughters, and that was all he wanted.

Certainly, there were times when Asahi missed the days in the gym, playing volleyball with his friends, having winning streaks, and hard defeats. He never forgot the people that he met through the sport that changed his life. Now it just seemed like a distant memory, from which only good stories remained. He was lucky he still had contact with his closest friends, and eventually got a message or two from the guys he once had to face in a championship match. But he was so willing to give up the life as a volleyball player in order to pursue another one of his dreams. He was okay with it, even with remembering the libero that stole his heart once.

Before he knew it, he received a call from his mother-in-law.

"Hello, Asahi. How are you doing?" She asked.

"Hello, Kanako. I'm doing just fine. Just about to finish here in the office."

"Good, good. The girls already had lunch and they're playing with Mei's old dolls right now. I have to leave to my event in about an hour, so I just wanted to make sure you're coming soon."

"Don't you worry, I'll be on my way in a minute."

"Alright, son. We will be waiting for you."

Asahi hung up the call with a little smile on his lips. The feeling of being loved and accepted in Mei's family meant the world to him. When Mei asked him about meeting her parents, he felt as if all the colors drained from his face. The truth was he was terrified of meeting her parents, especially because they were living together and he wasn't sure about how Mei's dad would feel about it. He felt such a relief when he met the old couple. They were everything but terrifying. Mei's dad, Aoi, was the sweetest man he'd ever met. He spent all that evening showing him his toy collection, and the feeling he got from them was so comforting.

When Aoi passed away right before the twins' first birthday, he thought he'd never see Mei or Kanako smile again but life got better, and Asahi made sure he was the greatest support they could get.

So to him, being loved by his wife's family meant everything.

Once he finished with what he was doing, he made his way to the car and drove to Kanako's house. The ride was short and before he knew it, he was already there. He wasn't sure if his daughters had the ears of a hawk, but before he could announce himself in the front door, the girls swung the door open and jumped to hug him.

"Papa!" Nagisa said, grabbing Asahi's hand.

"We missed you so much!" Asuka added. "We were waiting for you."

"I missed you too, little birds", he replied, getting to their heights and kissing their foreheads.

He stood up again as Kanako walked to the door, ready with her bowling equipment and a big smile.

"They behaved like the little angels they are", she reassured Asahi, smiling at him and patting his shoulder. "I got to get going. My friends are waiting for me."

"Do you want me to drive you?" Asahi asked.

"Nonsense, son. I'm walking to my friend's house and her son is driving us. Walking is good for me at my old age."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Why don't you take the girls to the park? They've been mentioning it all morning."

Asahi looked at the girls, each one holding one of his hands.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. We still have time to spare before Mei gets home."

Kanako smiled and looked at the girls.

"Be good, be kind, be grateful", she said, and the girls repeated those words.

When Asahi met Mei at the Tokyo art gallery, he overheard her say those same words as she said goodbye to her mom on the phone. It caught his attention, and it was a topic of conversation they hooked on for a good moment. As they walked through the gallery, he knew he liked her a lot and wanted to see her again. Eventually, he learned she loved to visit the gallery every weekend, and made the visits a habit. Before they knew it, they were something more than friends. He found comfort in talking to her, and he quickly fell in love.

As he saw Kanako walk away, he made his way to the car with the girls, making sure they were secure in their car seats, then he drove to the park.

The park was not too crowded, and that was sort of calming to him. That way he could keep an eye on the girls that were just a few meters away from him. He stood by the playground and smiled at Nagisa and Asuka as they kept asking him to watch them go down the slide, or go into the swing.

As he helped the twins swing, he caught a glimpse of someone. Someone he recognized really well.

And he saw him. Before Asahi could react, he was already walking towards him.

He turned his gaze away as Nagisa spoke.

"No more swing, papa. Can we go slide?"

Asahi nodded.

"Yes, but stay close."

The girls nodded and ran to the nearest slide, still a couple meters away from Asahi.

Refusing to take his eyes off his daughters, he felt him stand beside him. He hadn't changed that much. Those travelling shenanigans didn't make him grow a centimeter. The only thing that had grown in him was his hair, now tied in a sloppy low ponytail.

Asahi refused to say the first word. He said the last. Why would he have to speak first when he spoke last before he left? Noya had to say the first word, and if he didn't, then he could leave.

Alas, he spoke.

"It's good to see you. I'd recognize you anywhere."

His voice still sounded the same, the voice that he heard many times pronounce countless i love yous and empty promises he never fulfilled.

Asahi didn't reply.

"I see what you're doing. You want me to do all the talking? Okay, I will. I was hoping I could find you. I didn't imagine it would be at a children's playground."

"My life is different from what you remember, and what it used to be", he said finally. "I'm a father."

"Congratulations", Noya replied. "They look just like you."

"That's the only thing they have from me. That spirit of theirs they get from their mother. My wife."

Noya smiled.

"Ah, yes. Congratulations on the wedding too. I hope you are happy." Noya said, gazing to his feet as he gently kicked the sand. If Asahi didn't know him better, he wouldn't have noticed the jealousy in his voice.

"I am, no thanks to you."

"I know, I know. To be fair, you can thank me for leaving and not coming back because you have a happy life now."

Asahi finally looked at him, but Noya refused to look him in the eye, instead, he just looked at the twins, who kept laughing as they used the slide.

"My life and my happiness is not something I owe you, Noya", he said, anger and pain in his voice. "I loved you, and I was broken when I knew you weren't coming back. I chose to move on, not because of you, but because of me. And what I have right now is because I chose to keep living."

Noya sighed, and finally looked him in the eye.

"I'm glad that at least one of us is happy and moved on."

"Noya, it's been six years. You can't expect me to have stayed in the same place waiting for you."

"And I am glad you have a life you love, that you moved on. I'm happy you have love. That is all I wanted for you."

Asahi shook his head in disappointment, turning once again his gaze to the twins.

"And all I wanted was you. And I waited, but I grew tired. I deserved to live a life even if it was without you, and now I have it and I don't want anything else. Even if..."

He stopped for a moment, trying to hold back the tears as his throat started to hurt.

"Even if?" Noya asked. That attitude of his drove Asahi crazy. Somehow, in that moment, it still did.

"Even if sometimes I still think of you."

Noya kept quiet for a moment.

"I tried to get over you, but I just couldn't. Miyagi was too little for the both of us, but we had different plans."

"We did", Asahi agreed, waving at Nagisa as she asked him to look at her go down the slide for the thirteenth time. "But I am right where I am supposed to be, and I wouldn't trade what I have for what could've been."

"You shouldn't." Noya said, patting Asahi's shoulder. "I love you, and I think I always will."

"Please, don't. You're far too late, Noya.", at this point, he felt as if he was once again that highschooler in love with a guy who played volleyball with him. But that wasn't him anymore.

"Even if you don't feel the same... I just wanted to tell you."

Asahi nodded, not being able to bring himself to reply.

"And I'm sorry for leaving how I did, when I did", Noya said, pain in his voice.

"Don't. It is our choices what makes us what we are now", Asahi interrupted. "I'm sure you'll find someone, and you'll be okay."

Noya smiled shily.

"I'm sure I will", he agreed, locking eyes with Asahi just one more time. A gaze that made a million thoughts rush to both of them, a need to be together once again, to share a last kiss, to be the two reckless boys in love in the volleyball club.

What a shame they weren't them anymore.

"Goodbye, Asahi", Noya said. "Take care."

Asahi nodded.

"Goodbye, Noya. Good luck."

He saw as he walked away, and got pulled away from that hypnosis by the twins, taking his hands.

"Daddy, can we go home?", Asuka asked.

Asahi smiled and nodded, holding the girls' hands as they walked back to the car.

The ride home was silent, and the hour they spent waiting for Mei to come home he didn't think of Noya at all. Was that encounter the closure he needed? He wasn't sure.

As the front door opened and Mei walked into the house, his life started to look more enchanting than ever. The girls ran to her and he joined them, holding Mei by the waist and giving a gentle kiss on her lips, and then on her forehead.

"Oh?", Mei said surprised. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to tell you I love you, in case I don't say that enough."

"Asahi..."

"Thank you for the life you've built for us."

"Not me, us."

Asahi nodded, and looked at Asuka as she spoke.

"Papa, who was the funny man at the park?", she asked with genuine curiosity.

"The funny man?", Mei asked raising a brow.

"Yes! Daddy was talking to a funny man at the park."

"An old friend from the Karasuno volleyball team", he replied.

"Is there one I don't know yet? I thought I'd met everyone", Mei said with a smile, walking to the living room and looking at the picture of the Karasuno volleyball team. Asahi and the girls joined her.

"Him", Asahi said pointing at the picture, just right where Noya was. "He was our libero."

"Your what now?"

He laughed, and as he looked at the picture, he knew he'd be okay, and so would be Noya.

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