lynnthefantastic

[lynnthefantastic]

i say i’m not hungry, you say ok, i say im sad, you say im fine, i say im depressed, you say im dramatic, i give you signs, and you still don’t see them, you see my messy room and the bones sticking out of my body, you still say nothing, i want help but i don’t wanna ask for it, i say im sick for the hundredth day to stay home, you let me, i say i feel lonely, you say im just bored, i show you my bad grades and the classes i skip, you say im hanging around the wrong people, when will the signs plastered on the walls of my room catch your attention, when will the dinners i don’t eat rise an eyebrow, when will the tears in my eyes make you listen to me, i want help but i don’t wanna ask for it, i say i feel fat, you say im skinny, i say im ugly, you say im beautiful, i say i wanna do nothing but sleep, you let me, i let you see my loss of passion for life and the spark once there gone from my eyes replaced with sadness and saving, you tell me im tired, i want help but i don’t wanna ask for it.

this is something different but mental health is very important to me, and i know if im struggling im not the only one, maybe you can relate to this or just enjoy reading it, either way your not alone.

[lynnthefantastic]

you and hamzah have been online friends since 2019 and didn’t meet intell 2021, and the tension that has always been there on zooms was clearly there when you guys met. you guys have always found each other physically attractive and having very similar personalities but always knew friends is what you guys we be, you living in different countries, you lived in la while he’s in canada. you frequently would visited hamzah and would appear in many ooc episodes when it was just a solo podcast with guests, you guys got very close and found yourselves doing everything people in a relationship would do minis the romantic physical aspects, there were many moments where you felt hamzah starring extra hard at your face especially your lips making you feel like at any moment he would climb on top of you suffocating you with his lips theses thoughts would take over your mind and since he would always be to nervous to commit you almost took matter into your own hands. neither of you guys made a move because it was clear friends is what you guys would always be , hamzah had no plans moving to america and your whole life was in la and long distance is something neither of you too believed in. all your mutual friends would always tease you guys about how you guys were perfect for each other they knew not to tease when you all were together cus you both shared how nervous it would make you feel. you guys would facetime and text almost everyday but there was something hamzah completely left out that you would later find out when visiting him.

Since all of hamzah friends knew the secret he was keeping from you would be a shock they wanted to warn you before you came.

that was very much a lie, you knew you guys never had a fair chance to be together but it still hurt, you even wonder if you would have came to canada if you knew that but you were already at the airport.

you see hamzah pull up but he’s not alone which is different because usually even if his friends are at his house he still makes and effort to come alone. Him and max hop out the car and max grabs your bags to put in the car while hamzah gives you a big tight hug and talks to you almost like nothing different like he didn’t have a gf that he needed to to loyal to and make new boundaries for, you expected a side hug or even her to be the one you saw in the car this makes you relived like maybe this whole trip you won’t even see this girl.

you guys end up in Chick-fil-A and max heads to the bathroom hamzah sees this as the perfect time to tell you about this girl, you can feel the awkward tension something you’ve never felt before it’s always been to easy feeling around him but you guys couldn’t even make eye contact, to avoide the awkward conversation you felt coming you blurt out

you wondered how sleeping at his house was gonna work if he had a gf, if she would be ok with it or find it weird or if she would be there just so it wasn’t the two of you. hamzah was still vaguely bringing up his gf. you can tell he didn’t really believe your “you can tell me anything” spiel, but he did uncomfortably bring up the fact that his gf was coming over to sleep over, he tells you that she shared a concern with your friendship and has seen the edits and the shippers and it makes her feel like maybe you guys had something even if it was far before she came along.

y/n: “ max already told me… about her, i don’t care if that’s the reason you didn’t tell me, you can talk to me about that kinda stuff you know”

hamzah let’s put a sigh of relief

hamzah: “yeah idk why i didnt tell you. well yeah, yeah, i actually do know why, idk i thought maybe if i told you things would be different like you would feel like we couldn’t be as close as we are. and we are, we are gonna stay this close”.

y/n: “yeah bc we’re friends” you slowly say with a slight crack in your voice

hamzah: “ yeah, because we’re friends” he replies with his head down

hamzah: “clearly we are friends, just friends but amanda, um that’s he name, um amanda juts feel like maybe we dated and if she ask you clearly the answer would be no anyways but maybe juts like asure her we are nothing but friends”

this angered you, clearly you guys have never dated or even kissed but you guys definitely has something and him giving you a lil pep talk on how you were supposed to act like you guys were purely friends hurt you, but you agreed and played dumb with amanda when you meet her

when you met amada you were confused, confused by her personality, by the way she looked, by every thing, she was a very pretty girl just seemed far from hamzahs type and maybe it was bc she seem completely different from you and maybe that was your feeling for hamzah making yourself think you are his exact type, so deep down you were hoping someone exactly like you

you feel every thing that hamzah told you about her, the way she felt about you and hamzahs relationship you felt her trying to dig something out of you, like she don’t want to be one friends she wanted you far away.

On The Couch:

amanda: “so how long have you been friends with hamzah”

she clearly knows but you go along with it

y/n: “ since 2019”

” amanda: “wow that’s a longggg time, you guys are close i can tell it’s cute”

y/n: i mean ig, we’re probably just as close as he is with his other friends”

amanda: “well clearly not if you guys dated”

y/n: “we never dated“ you say louder the past volume you talked in almost as if you juts got caught in a lie even though you didn’t.

you could feel the tension rising, when from amanda being passive aggressive to just aggressive

amanda: “he told me , well he didn’t say you guys dated but might as well have right”

y/n: “ i mean idk what he said but i would say anything close to it

your mind went back to the moment he told you to say you guys were nothing but friends, wondering why he would tell her that but tell you to say we were nothing more than friends. you felt like you were being trapped like she said that to see what you would say, but you weren’t gonna brake

amanda: “i get it if there’s some feeling there from your side but you got to be happy that he moved on”.

y/n: “theirs really nothing to move on from” you say laughing

hamzah walks over almost like he was upset you too we’re left alone

hamzah: “you guys talking about me” hamzah says half jokingly half serious

amanda: “you wish” she says

amanda: “i think ima actually go get some food since you all wanted to go without” she says with a smile but in a serious tone

by this time you already slickly walked out of the conversation but stay close to over hear there conversation, you missed a few parts but stated to hear when they got louder

amanda: “i mean what did you think i was gonna do when you told me your having some girl sleep over your house i’ve never met”

hamzah: “what are you even saying, some girl?, i’ve know this girl longer than i’ve know you, you wouldnt have a problem with anyone sleeping over why are you making a big deal out of this”

amanda: “alright its fine, i get it there’s absolutely nothing going on between you too so ill juts let you two besties hang out alone”

amanda left and slammed the door behind her, part of you felt happy that she was gone, happy that hamzah didn’t go chasing after her, intell you heard the door open and close for the second time, part of your heart broke, you knew you would never be a home wrecker and come between them but deep down you still had hope you and hamzah would find each other later in the future. hamzah quickly comes back in looking for you and eminently apologizes to you.

hamzah: i’m so sorry you had to hear her, she doesnt have the best attitude towards you, clearly”

y/n: “yeah i got that” you giggled

y/n: “i feel really bad i mean i get her, i get how people can make her think there’s something betw-“

hamzah cuts you off

hamzah: “think!?, think there’s something between us” y/n it’s obvious how we feel”

hamzah scoot closer to you on the couch

before you could even pick between throwing your sled on him or play dumb and ask what that feeling he was talking about was he grabs your face like he was about to kiss you, but he doesn’t. you felt so nervous you went with the playing dumb option.

y/n: “how do we feel?”

he was lost looking in your eyes, you could tell he was paying no attention to what you were saying

hamzah: “i broke up with her, i liked her, i did, i think” he lets out a sigh like he wasn’t breathing that whole sentence

hamzah: “i want you ok, i need you”

you feel yourself getting wet hoping this conversation could end already with you guys on top of each other. after what felt like a minute of staring at each other you go to kiss him knowing the reason he wasnt was because he never wanted to make the first move and ruin everything. that kiss was like an ok for him to do everything he’s fantasized about.

he picks you up and holds your waist down on him. you feel how hard he is, the makeout becomes messy and as he got harder you got wetter, he pulls your shirt up and takes off his shorts and you took off your bra.

you were shocked on how good he was, you knew this was his first time but it wasn’t like you were a pro, but it felt like he was like he new exactly how to please you

you guys ended up on the bed and were both shocked to see you guys were at it till 5 in the morning, you guys couldn’t get enough of eachother

you ended up expanding your trip and spent most of the time in hamzahs bed.

[lynnthefantastic]

Summer Vacation with Hamzah

*pulling up to the airport*

hamzah: “Look who it is!”

Y/N: “Get me out of this danm airport”

you and Hamzah have been friends for about 4 years now, and there's always been an underlying tension between you guys. always getting lost in each other's eyes while talking, flirty jokes, and mutual friends always teasing you guys. the last time you were in Canada Claire, Max, Aaron, Mandy, and Martin were all there, and you found yourself being off with Hamzah most of the trip. when you left hamzah said it would be necessary for you to see him again. you guys planned a 3-day vacation at a beach house, and planned to leave late at night so you could arrive at the beach house in the morning. this was the first time you guys guys were going to be hanging out alone.

*hamzah gets out of the car to get your bags*

hamzah: “come here”

*hamzah reachers out his arms and pulls you close*

Y/N: “Wow no big white poster board saying welcome home”

hamzah: “Ugh and I worked so hard on it just for me to leave it at home, next time”

Y/N: “All alright put my bags in the car and let go, girl”

hamzah noticed how good you smelled right as he got out of the car, he was tempted to say something about it but was even more distracted by you, trying to get a good look each time you weren't looking, but you always felt him which would make you extremely nervous.

hamzah: “If you were hungry and wanted to stop anywhere that would be something, you know, I would do”

Y/N: “Boy get yourself some damn food”

you and Hamzah spend most of the time listening to music in the car and Hamzah trying to not get lost for the 5th time. As time passes by you notice Hamzah looking at your thighs, it makes you fantasize what it would be like if he put his hands on them. As Hamzah is making his jokes you pretend to listen, being too distracted by making scenarios in your mind, he grips your thigh after making his joke and slaps it as someone would their knee while laughing, before lifting his hand away. you laughed like you heard what his joke was but were still distracted by what just happened.

hamzah: ”omg god the sand is hot, feels like im barefoot”

hamzah walks around to your side of the car lifts you and throws you over his shoulders so you don't have to walk in the sand. in lifts you to the wooden porch where there are seats and a table. he then runs back to the car to quickly bring all the bags in.

Y/N: “Couples vacation day 1!”

hamzah: “Don't tease me I will pretend to be your boyfriend to get a free couples massage”

Y/N: “Yeah and you get to the spa and the masseuse is me”

hamzah: “Why leave when we can get that done right here”

hamzah walks closer to you and the closer he gets the more he towers over you. you waste no time and grip his neck and pull yourself closer up to him. he wraps your legs around him and places you on top of him as he sits on the couch. you pull down his shorts as he unzips yours.

Y/N: “It's so big” *you say nervously laughing*

hamzah: “You think you can take it”

hamzah lifts your body and places it in you, he immediately lets out a moan, and you grab his face and make out with him as you grind on his body. he wraps all your hair around his hand and slightly tugs on it. you guys make it to bed and spend the first day at the house bearly clothed.

Day 2, and 3 might come soon if you guys like ❤️

[lynnthefantastic]

hamzah the fantastic long distance

- facetimes you just to call you beautiful

- sends you a selfie everyday no matter what hes doing or who hes with

- begs for you to stay for another day when you come visit him

- ask for a full discription of your day

- will ask to talk to your mom and dad when your on facetime

- makes sure you guys do something fun everyday when you come see him

-if you guys aren't facetiming your sending eachother voice memos

-alwast talks about he never thought he'd do long distances intell he met you

- takes as many photos of just you even when your not looking so he can look back at them when you leave

-his friends always tell you how much he talks about you when your back home

Planning on doing some stories in the future, taking any suggestions!