madmanswords

[madmanswords]

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

[madmanswords]

Always nice to have John de Lancie throw gasoline into the fire of a decades old fan theory

[madmanswords]

I mean, that'll stop a number of things

if anyone feels bad that their fic might contain medical inaccuracies, be comforted to know that whatever creative liberties you take with your medical scenes can never be worse than the one I just read. where one character tries to stop the bleeding on their friend's head wound by putting a tourniquet around their neck

[madmanswords]

many on here need to be learning this lesson

[madmanswords]

my life lately

[madmanswords]

HUUUUUUYUEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR|RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHGJGJJJGGFHGHHHHHHHHHH

[madmanswords]

speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

[madmanswords]

I'm the Slugworth style dude who's always trying to fuck the olives behind OP's back

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

[madmanswords]

Do you want to be politically pure in theory or help your neighbor. Is it fruitless to help your neighbor because there's no Perfect Pure way to do it ?

[madmanswords]

📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you checked the tracking page too much and we got shy about it

[madmanswords]

wait guys. reblog this and tell me what the last movie you watched was. bonus points if you add a short review <333

[madmanswords]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

[madmanswords]

My favourite thing about Netflix mobile is that every so often it glitches and—

[madmanswords]

Hey now, he's not a used car salesman

He's a space pimp who on his return is a used sex robot salesman

Where's that post that's like "It's funny how Star Trek parodies always have some villian show up and go "Captain! We meet again!" when tos doesn't really have recurring villians, just like, recurring concepts."? Because it's actually funnier that they do have one recurring villian, and he's basically a used car salesman

[madmanswords]

One very understated part of Superman is that it does establish the 4th Wall/Camera. The camera does pause for a second before reacting to Supes moving at super speed at points. Those teeth bounce off the camera.

I think this is a house-style approach that can be SUCH a long-game play if they keep the subtle approach before eventually introducing a Mr. Mxyzptlk or Batmite or some other character to break the 4th wall.

It'll be so satisfying if we have just one maybe two "camera is there" moments every project for a couple years and then suddenly someone just grabs it like "I know you're there!" so we can feel like our unspoken friend, the camera, is getting messed with.

Even outside of that, it's an acknowledgement that in comics, it's a story being told to us. We aren't getting the thought boxes, but the movie isn't afraid to say we're there.

[madmanswords]

Oh, this was my Instagram Story review of Superman, though The Mighty Crabjoys theme played in the story