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i really need a svsss au where shen yuan transmigrates as a wandering cultivator and he becomes so well known as being the embodiment of Local Florida Man

he dwells on the outskirts of Cang Qiong so the Sect recieves a bunch of alarmed notices from local citizens about a man who is— not a danger to anyone aside from himself.

“Local Wandering Cultivator attacked by squirrel demon after trying to draw the pattern on its horns”

“Local Wandering Cultivator seen wrestling swivelling crocodile hellborns, lives to tell the tale”

“Local Wandering Cultivayor argues he’s done nothing wrong after accidentally setting a flock of dual-headed rabbit snarls on local village”

the sect are VERY concerned, they keep sending first disciples then peak lords down the mountain to deal with shen yuan, who could not give less of a shit until they send shen qingqiu to try and scare him into compliance and he realises exactly just where he is

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Lex Luthor's personal assistant is Tim's clone?

As much as Danny hated his job he made sure to be the best of the best at it. He had to be; one misstep and he could be hauled out of here. That would make investigating Luthor's possible involvement with the GIW much harder.

Danny unfortunately wouldn't be able to look around the building today as Luthor has a meeting in Gotham with Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake-Wayne. Just two more fruit loops he has to deal with.

When they arrived the first thing Danny noticed was how everyone seemed to be staring at him. He knows he looks fine, Luthor would not have allowed Danny to accompany him if he didn't. So all this extra attention is really starting to make him nervous about what he's walking into.

It's not until he's standing face to face with Tim Drake does he finally understand. It feels as if he's standing in front of a mirror with how alike they look.

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Lex Luthor's personal assistant is Tim's clone?

As much as Danny hated his job he made sure to be the best of the best at it. He had to be; one misstep and he could be hauled out of here. That would make investigating Luthor's possible involvement with the GIW much harder.

Danny unfortunately wouldn't be able to look around the building today as Luthor has a meeting in Gotham with Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake-Wayne. Just two more fruit loops he has to deal with.

When they arrived the first thing Danny noticed was how everyone seemed to be staring at him. He knows he looks fine, Luthor would not have allowed Danny to accompany him if he didn't. So all this extra attention is really starting to make him nervous about what he's walking into.

It's not until he's standing face to face with Tim Drake does he finally understand. It feels as if he's standing in front of a mirror with how alike they look.

[magpietreasury]

Lex Luthor's personal assistant is Tim's clone?

As much as Danny hated his job he made sure to be the best of the best at it. He had to be; one misstep and he could be hauled out of here. That would make investigating Luthor's possible involvement with the GIW much harder.

Danny unfortunately wouldn't be able to look around the building today as Luthor has a meeting in Gotham with Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake-Wayne. Just two more fruit loops he has to deal with.

When they arrived the first thing Danny noticed was how everyone seemed to be staring at him. He knows he looks fine, Luthor would not have allowed Danny to accompany him if he didn't. So all this extra attention is really starting to make him nervous about what he's walking into.

It's not until he's standing face to face with Tim Drake does he finally understand. It feels as if he's standing in front of a mirror with how alike they look.

[magpietreasury]

Lex Luthor's personal assistant is Tim's clone?

As much as Danny hated his job he made sure to be the best of the best at it. He had to be; one misstep and he could be hauled out of here. That would make investigating Luthor's possible involvement with the GIW much harder.

Danny unfortunately wouldn't be able to look around the building today as Luthor has a meeting in Gotham with Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake-Wayne. Just two more fruit loops he has to deal with.

When they arrived the first thing Danny noticed was how everyone seemed to be staring at him. He knows he looks fine, Luthor would not have allowed Danny to accompany him if he didn't. So all this extra attention is really starting to make him nervous about what he's walking into.

It's not until he's standing face to face with Tim Drake does he finally understand. It feels as if he's standing in front of a mirror with how alike they look.

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In an AU where Danny doesn't know he can turn back human after the portal accident:

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Everyone Loves a 2-for-1 Sale Part 3

Part 1 & 2 (And original Prompt)

The dining room was suspiciously quiet for a Wayne breakfast when Danny walked in.

He glanced up from his phone, pulling one earbud out, “Oh feel free to continue arguing my morality like I’m an object, my music’s on full volume.”

Dick looked uncomfortable, “We weren’t-Look, Ti- Danny, we are just a bit curious as to why you’re…. here,” Dick finished, glancing at the others like asking if they’d share the plate of batguilt-fries with him.

“Surely the world could have done without a second Drake,” Damian cut in before Danny could even start.

“And we could have done without even one of you, yet here you are,” Danny glared, “Factory defects and all.”

Damian jerked upwards with a raised knife, narrowly pushed back down by Dick.

Danny rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to his phone-Tim’s phone-their phone. He held a folded paper out to Bruce with two fingers, still typing, “I have a list, if you want it.”

He continued typing as they opening the note and read it, he knew what it said.

To Do in Gotham:

1. Get to Gotham

2. Find original - don’t freak family out

3. -Find- Talk to Bruce

4. Convince Vicki Vale that Tim is/ actually engaged to Tam Fox

5. Get safe house

6. New identity? (what do clones do? - ask Connor)

7.

8.

9. Leave?

“What’s number seven and eight?” Dick asked, and Danny actively made sure his typing pattern didn’t change.

“Don’t know yet,” He answered with a shrug, the picture of nonchalance. Bruce probably didn’t believe him.

Didn’t matter. Dick did. Because Dick felt guilty.

Bat guilty.

About time he believed him about something.

And Danny didn’t care about Damian’s opinions one way or another.

He stepped away from the table, plopping another grape in his mouth as he walked past, “Welp that’s it for me, busy day, fake engagement, gotta find some crutches because I don’t think Vicki will accept my ‘you got new legs Lieutenant Dan-ny’ joke, all that,”

Danny slipped out the door past a sleep-deprived Tim with a jaunty salute, “All’s well in Clone Town!”

Danny kept walking, his brain running miles ahead of him, Ted Tobin steering the wheel with his fingers on the keypad of his phone as he moved forward and mentally filled in the list.

Number 7: Find Ra’s Al Ghul and the Lazarus pits.

Number 8: Stabilize yourself.

Danny continued up the stairs. He had people to see and rings to buy. Busy is the life of a saboteur.

—

Red Robin watched his clone linger in the jeweler’s store, trying to keep the frown from taking over his whole face.

He was making Tim’s life difficult. Tim suspected it was on purpose.

Largely because people would ask way too many questions if two Tim Drakes showed up in Gotham at the same time.

Hence, Red Robin being relegated to rooftop surveillance.

He turned his attention back to the clone, watching as he left the shop and turned down the street. Red Robin swept after him, following from above.

The clone remained focused on his phone- which was also Tim’s by the way, and stolen- as he walked down the street, turning into an alley without even looking up.

Tim tilted his head and swung to the rooftop, peering into the darkness.

“You could always just come down and actually talk to me, you know?”

Tim dropped into the alley, unsurprised to come face to face with the clone. It was weird to see his own face look so annoyed by him.

“Thought it was best to stay out of sight. We’re not exactly a daylight hero.”

Danny rolled his eyes, “Already annoyed with Vicki Vale?”

Tim nearly growled, “That is your fault,”

“Oh come on, you can’t tell me it’s not hilarious.”

“You’ve spent all morning in ring shops! I have meetings!”

“Lucius can handle them. It’s not like we actually did anything this last year anyways.”

Tim stared at him for a second, confusion in the squint of his eyes and laced with suspicion.

Danny groaned with a roll of his eyes, “Fine, you want me to stay put somewhere so you can do your civilian thing?”

“Yes.”

“I am not staying in the manor. You can’t make me.”

Dread filled him as Tim smiled, “Not a problem.”

Danny glared at Tim standing arms wide in the center of the room of his emptiest safe house, “This is so not what I meant and you know it.”

Tim’s face betrayed nothing, “Look, none of us are happy with this situation-“

Danny scoffed. Understatement of the century.

“But..” Tim continued with a pointed look, “It’s my fault, and I get that. So…compromise? You stay here, work on cold cases while I sort out my current job, and when I’m done, we’ll figure out what to do, okay?”

Danny sighed, feeling Ted Tobin stir to life with plans already forming.

“Fine.”

Tim nodded succinctly, reaching for a laptop and multiple cords, “Ok, here’s my old computer, -huh, I could have sworn that had a different charger- anyways- I’ll take this,” he plucks the phone from Danny’s hands in one smooth motion, giving a mocking smile in return to Danny’s glare, “Thank you very much, now I just have to-and find the guy who…”

Tim’s voice tapers off into mumbles as he heads into the bedroom to peel off his suit, fingers focused on the keypad of his newly reacquired phone.

Danny slumps himself down on the secondhand couch, dust echoing around him. This was fine, he could do stuff in the meanwhile, maybe help Tim with his case -or solve it himself, he bets he could- and then finish the new specs for the suit wings that Danny’s suit still didn’t have.

Tim fumbled through the doorway, now in civilian clothes, already on a call with Lucius probably, or Tam. Tam helped him a lot.

Danny slouched further into the silence.

It felt like being left behind by his parents.

They had bigger priorities.

Archaeology.

Ghosts.

Danny shook his head, opening the computer and letting Ted Tobin fish through the passwords for case files.

He’s nearly 3 hours deep when he really pauses for the first time, finally stopping the continuous notes sitting next him, each a different clue. Most for different cases.

The current case pulled up on his screen scratches at him, facts slotting into place with rapid fire precision.

The officer assigned to the case is a vet.

The case is perpetrated by a senatorial candidate.

The officer assigned served on three active fronts and 2 undisclosed.

The guilty candidate is running support for a bill cutting veteran supports.

Best of all?

It’s not in Gotham.

Danny smiles as Ted Tobin’s plan fills in, piece by piece.

—

Ra’s Al Ghul should really make it harder to hack into his confidential back market mercenary dealings.

Then again, maybe it was for the better. How else would he make sure Red Robin was able to intercept the assassin in time to save that poor officer’s life the night before his case-closing arrest?

—

“Detective, I assumed holding my business outside of Gotham would keep it from being the concern of you and yours,” Ra’s’ voice is muffled through the bag over his head, “It seems I was wrong.”

“Oh well, you know me…,” The bag is ripped roughly off his head, leaving him blinking rapidly against the light even as he smirks, “Always butting into things when I shouldn’t. It’s kind of what we do.”

“Tell me, Timothy,” Ra’s says, turning his back to him once more, as he waves his ninjas away, “What does this officer matter to you, more than a state away from your usual stomping grounds? What-“ Ra’s pauses as a different ninja approaches him to whisper in his ear. His body stills.

“Well, we’ll start there. First of all, as I’m sure you just found out, I’m not Timothy,” Danny says, standing up smoothly. He relishes the look Ra’s gives him as he turns around. “And secondly, the officer wasn’t what mattered. Getting you here on the other hand. Now that.. that takes a little more planning.” Danny brushes himself off, removing the cowl to leave just his own domino behind.

Ra’s al Ghul hums, his eyebrow twitching up even as his eyes narrow in suspicion.

“What? No sudden desire to stab? No impromptu attempt to put a sword through my chest?”

“You are curious. So much like the detective, and yet… my people tell me he is currently patrolling in Gotham with the Grayson boy.”

Danny scoffs, “Oh great, another fruit loop interested in me, like I need a new one of those.”

Ra’s’ stare doesn’t change. Albeit a bit more annoyed, but still flat and calm.

“You wanna know what makes me different from Timothy, Ra’s?” Danny pauses, taking a deep breath and letting the ectoplasm ripple inside him for the first time in months. “The difference between me and him,” When he looks up he knows his eyes glow fluorescent green, “Is that I’m stronger.”

—

Bonus Scene:

Dick stared at Tim’s clone as he left, sweeping past the original’s bleary form stumbling to the coffee machine.

“Are we sure he’s Drake’s clone? He seems… less of a fool,” Damian sneered, watching Tim stand listlessly in front of the cabinet, coffeemaker off, and tablet in hand.

He looked out of the Dining room doors, spotting Danny standing not far away in front of one of the closets by the stairs rather than the actual steps, fingers tapping away.

Damian turned back to his breakfast, “I retract my statement. Clearly his stupidity was simply blinding.”

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Double Tim

(Okay I swear I saw a similar concept somewhere a long time ago. No idea if it was a one shot on Ao3 or just a tumblr prompt. Pls link if you find it)

—————————————————————————

Danny had been badly injured in his human form. He could feel himself destabilizing. Normally he would be able to heal but the hunters were relentless and had new gadgets that made that even harder. His only luck was that it wasn’t Blood Blossoms.

Escaping through a random portal in his rush he ended up in an unknown lab. He noticed an empty body with no soul and quickly overshadowed it. It wasn’t long before he felt himself falling into a daze as he began stabilizing and connecting to the body. The new body would become his human half and his ghost side would take a bit longer before he could continue on as a halfa.

What he wasn’t expecting though was while he was integrating to the body a process would kick in. The body? A clone of Tim Drake, made by himself as a backup if he ever died. Unfortunately said Tim Drake didn’t account for a malfunction to happen when his heart stopped for only mere moments.

Danny in his stabilizing haze felt memories that weren’t his, and he wasn’t in the state of mind to reject them, adding them to the process as well. When he fully woke he realized what had happened. His brain honestly felt like it worked differently now. He wouldn’t say he wasn’t Danny anymore, but now he knew with his templates memories that the hunters wouldn’t be able to catch him again.

Getting out of the pod, the memories quickly kicked in. Grabbing gear, he decided it would be good to track down Tim and see what he was doing that would have activated the clone.

—————

Danny had to say… his template needed help. He was drowning himself figuratively as he tried to find Bruce, lost in the timeline. If it wasn’t for Clockwork’s note to stick to the shadows until the quest was complete he would have joined openly to help by now. Sighing, he decided to help in the background. He could at least make sure only one of them were dead.

He still needed to get used to the new memories and body. He also wouldn’t get his ghost half’s powers for a bit. His new body didn’t have the advantage of being rewritten in a portal so it would be the slow method as his body adapted. At least CW’s note told him it would be done by the time Tim’s quest was over.

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Я пиздатый ахуенный невъебенный...

Я... Надышался грунтовкой

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DC x DP au where Danny and Jason just have, inexplicable beef with eachother.

The JL have to summon the ghost king for whatever reason and it’s just-

Danny: BEHOLD! TIS I THE- OH- FUCK OFF! Ohhhh My Gawddddddd! LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEE

Jason: What- ME? YOUR THE ONE IN MY SPACE CENTRE! -

Bruce: *my space centre

Jason: -ALSO, WHATS WITH THE NEW BIG TITLE? You compensating for something small fry?

Danny: Small fry! I remember when you were barely 5 foot! You take steroids or smth? Also-also, you stink! What are you rotten or smth?

Jason: *sniffs* it was acid actually

Just, they’re around the same age, Jason died a year after Danny and they knew eachother for approx five/six months. They hate eachother in a way that only kids on a playground could.

(Picture, Jason was born a few months before Danny, but post death he’s technically been alive for several months Less than him. Danny is now technically older, this adds to the hatred.)

(Jason joking flirts with Jazz, Danny asks if he has a thing for gingers, Jason nearly kills himself again as he realises he has the same taste as Dick)

FUCKING UPDATE: THIS GOT REPOSTED ON TIKTOK (without credits, fuck you fa.aka8) WHICH IS HELLA COOL IF ALSO HELLA RUDE BUT YKNOW

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DpxDc #22

The king is dead, long live the king!

Halfas are a rare species because they are immortal.

Better said, their status as a Halfa is immortal, not their physical bodies.

Danny found it really, really grim. Sure, it didn't really happen often, but the few times his body completely died off weren't really thrilling.

The first time, he stared at it for a long time.

He was alone at home, his parents out, and Jazz away to university. He climbed to the roof hundreds of times before, and he could trace every single step that it took for him to get up there, right under the OPS Centre.

Before he knew, he was looking at himself from outside his body.

He didn't like it, but he couldn't look away. He was... up there...

His body was leaning outside the window, neck caught in a metal wire loose from a storm they had the day before, just limp, blood dripping from his nose and eyes due to the pressure on his neck.

He swallowed hard, massaging his throat.

After the disbelief, there was mourning, then sadness, embarrassment, then disgust at having to touch a dead corpse.

He really died.

Again.

In a stupid fucking way too.

Well... at least he had a grave now?

Then another,

and another,

and another...

Yeah, he wasn't doing himself much of a favour.

He did so well for 14 years, not dying and all, but it seemed that his luck ran out.

Uncanny Valley is something humans developed specifically to stay away from corpses. The bad feeling you get from looking at something that's not quite human anymore. Danny started to get that feeling every time he looked at himself in the mirror when he died.

He grimaced when he spotted himself in the display window of a shop in Gotham while visiting his sister.

The night before, someone shot him several times and left him to bleed out (asshole).

He had to start from zero again, but when he turned around to get his corpse, the damn thing was just... gone.

...

At this point, you decide who took Danny's body! Is it the Court of Owls? Is it a cult? Maybe the bats saw the murder and got the corpse out before Danny noticed?

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Пятый месяц на антидепрах. Хуйня в жизни продолжает случаться, как её решать я вообще не ебу, но что-то продолжаю делать. С удивлением заметила на днях, что давно не думала о том чтобы выпилиться, теперь мысли о том, что я сейчас об этом не думаю преследуют меня.

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Boss makes a dollar I make a dime that's why I cry on company's time

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Relationship is just another hell where you have to share all your stuff with another person and live with them under another roof and I've JUST LEFT THIS EXACT SITUATION after living my whole life in it and I don't want a repeat this soon