makaziavance

[makaziavance]

The Life of Horror Negro by Makazia Vance (ME!)

Marcus: Growing up as a Black boy in New York City, I found comfort in horror movies! The killers, the ghouls, the ghosts…boo! Laughs But watching all these horror movies made me realize something…there’s no black people in them! UGH! And even when we are in them we’re friends with the stupid white people who eventually get us killed!I will say there has been another pattern I've noticed! So many of these movies don't really have a proper place for black people! UGH BORING! See some times we're the spook, the mystical negro, the sidekick, the first death, but all of these tropes don't even touch the amount of times black people have been seen as monsters! We get casted as them so often, people sometimes start to believe that Dontrell on the corner really is from the blue lagoon! Laughs And the funny thing is, monsters don't even exist! Laughs even bigger this time Okay maybe you already knew but thought I should tell you just incase!

You know...Pauses and catches his train of thought you know my dad wanted to become an actor! He said it was his passion, but you know hollywood didn't really feel like there was a place for him; and so much so, that neither did he! When he was finally done with all of the bullshit he told me something that had stuck with me ever since "Son come here! The Black body is cast not only as a threat but as the embodiment of one — both victim and monster in the same breath! But no matter how many times they say so, you will never be there monster!" to this very day I think about that! To this very moment even! My dad's words and passion for acting inspired me! So much so that I decided to become one myself! While the money isn't always comin' in, I land a job every one in a while! Hopefully with this next audition, I'm lucky! He ponders on those words

Flash forward to the day of his audition

???: Hi and welcome to this audition, my name is Kayleigh, K-A-Y-L-E-I-G-H, and I am the casting director and screenwriter for this horror movie! How this audition will work is I’ll have you read some lines and we’ll just see what works and what most likely won’t!

Marcus: Okay!

Kayleigh: And I’m going to tell you up front that we are really looking for vulnerability! I truly want to see your life flash before your eyes in this audition!

Marcus: Yeah…I think I can do that!

Kayleigh: GREAT! Oh and um..what is your name again?

Marcus: My name is Marcus!

Kayleigh: Ooo, Mar-quis, that is so exotic! You know Mar-quis, I feel like our energy together is great! I can just tell that this audition is going to go swimmingly! Which is funny because your people can’t! Laughter Now let’s get started!

Marcus: Yeah, that would be great! 

Kayleigh: Okay! Marquis, the character I would like you to read for your audition is….Jamal!

Marcus: I’m sorry…what!

Kayleigh: Jamal…YAY!

Marcus: Umm alright! ‘Jamal is a quirky urban teen who just wants to sell his mixtape before it’s too late’!” Is this shit racist? I’m sorry, is this the real synopsis for this character!

Kayleigh: Yes! You wouldn’t believe how long it took me to write! I even took a discovery trip as a way to truly get to know Jamal, where he would come from and the environment that surrounds him!

Marcus: And where is that?

Kayleigh: Compton!

Marcus: Alrighty then! I guess I’ll get to readin’. just give me a second! You got this Marcus just give it your all! 3. 2. 1. “Ay yo yo yo! What’s good my n-”...I’m sorry is this the n-word! Did you really write this into the script

Kayleigh: Yeah I heard it a-lot down in Compton! You would think they would get sick of it but no…they love it! 

Marcus: See I understand that but I don’t know if you really should’ve written into this script, especially because….

Kayleigh: Because what?

Marcus: Do you know what? I will let you figure that out for yourself! 

Kayleigh: Welp let’s keep going through it! If you wanna be cast you’re gonna have to find a way to get past this!

Marcus: Okay! “Ay yo yo yo! What good my n-....friend…? It’s Jamal up in this thing son! You know I’ze been thinkin’ how bout’ instead of staying in this spooky ass forest, we go to that Popeye’s I saw on the ride down here!” OH MY GOD IT IS RACIST! I’m so sorry! Reading this…it just feels soo racia…–

Kayleigh: Racially inclusive! I know! I wrote it myself! You see the vision!

Marcus: Well…um…actually I was going to say…stereotypical…

Kayleigh: OH NO NO NO!! This script is not stereotypical! I mean I would know if I wrote something stereotypical! Okay okay! I feel like our energy is a little off but how about you read it again and we can put a wrap on Jamal! 

Marcus: Okay! 

Kayleigh: Now I will say, one note! When you read this time can I have you be a little more…mmm what is the word…urban?

Marcus: What?

Kayleigh: Oh I’m sorry, is that offensive? How about ghetto instead?

Marcus: Oh my god!

Kayleigh: You know what I mean just give it more…you know…Wakanda Foreva’!

Marcus: Yep still not right but let’s keep going! “These monster’s finna die when they see Jamal son! Think they can scare my ass? How they gonna feel when I take this glock and put two bullets intuz they hea-" JESUS! I am so sorry! I just don’t think I can read this!

Kayleigh: WHAT! Why? Is this about the urban thing? 

Marcus: No…well, yes…but I just don’t think I am fit for Jamal! I don’t really think anyone is a fit for him! I don’t even think Jamal fits Jamal! You know everyone already done with their audition, said they got to read for multiple characters! Do you think I could do that?

Kayleigh: Well I’m not sure! I just envisioned you for Jamal So why don’t you just keep pushing through…

Marcus: I don’t know! Reading this just don't feel right! So if I could…

Kayleigh: Well I just! I just…I don’t know!

Marcus: Um! Can you stop dodgin’ my questions! I mean everyone else got to read for somebody different....why can't I?

Kayleigh: Well Marquis! To be honest with you. The reason you don’t get to read for any of these other roles…is because your black ass will never be any of those other roles! So take two steps back and read for Jamal! And hey, maybe you can still be in my movie! Because right now, you would be lucky as fuck if I still cast you! Because right now, while you’re having your little temper tantrum I am still making money! Because right now, all you are to me is DISPOSABLE!!! 

Marcus: I’m sorry. What did you just call me? Laughs I feel like I heard you just call disposable! Laughs again You know now that's some funny shit right there!

Kayleigh: What?

Marcus: I feel like I heard you just call disposable! Now that's some funny shit right there! Because you know your trash is disposable. That little seven dollar macchiato that you got, that’s disposable. That milk carton on the side of the rode is disposable! That piece of shit couch sitting on the side of the road that is disposable! But me?? I don’t think I’m disposable! Do you? Like do you really think that? I am not disposable. It’s just really funny because I had to walk up five flights of fucking stairs just to walk my happy black ass into this room and get called disposable. Why aren’t you laughin’??? I MEAN IT’S HILARIOUS! You have to admit that! RIGHT?!?

Kayleigh: Okay Mar-quis I’m going to need you to back up! You’re making me scared!

Marcus: What? I’m scaring you! What do you think I’m goin’ to do? HUH! Do you see me as some sort of monster? Is that what you see me as? ANSWER ME?!? IS THAT WHAT YOU SEE ME AS? Because then I’m not fuckin’ suprised you didn’t give a shit about me in the first place, because all you saw was what? Something to be afraid of? Huh??? 

Kayleigh: If I could have someone come up here please! 

Marcus: ANSWER ME!?!!?!?! I AM NOT A MONSTER!!!! I AM NOT….A MONSTER! breathes heavily God damn it!! You know we try sooo hard to fit in with ya'll! For so long, Black people been conformin’— changin’ the way we talk, the way we walk, just to survive around folks like you.  And still—we get treated like shit. The police don’t protect us—they patrol us, manage us, remove us. Every system is designed to lock us up, shut us down, GET US OUT and still have the audacity to say it’s fair. We try saying their names but never seem to be heard! We get antagonized because of how you see us! Black people get crucified for our skin color! We only get to rest when we’re dead! We try reachin' for our dreams but get shot when cops only see as target practice! A new monster for them to hunt!! Black can't even survive the real world, let alone a horror movie! The rules are no longer how to survive a slasher but how to survive while black! White society made us out to be monsters so the lynchings, the brutality, the violence, is justified! You're perceptions are deadly! They get our names engraved in news pundants mouths! Are we all monsters to you? HUH?!? George Floyd? Was he a monster? HUH!?! Breonna Taylor, what about her? Was she a monster? WERE THEY MONSTERS? ANSWER ME!!! So answer me this! Are we still your monsters? ANSWER ME! I AM NOT A MONSTER! I WILL NEVER BE ONE! I am somebody god damn't! I am a human being! Just like you! And that’ll never change now matter how much you try! I will never be your fuckin' monster! WE are done being your monsters!

Marcus leaves the room in a fury slamming the door so all others can hear

Kayleigh: Well I guess I’m never going back to compton!