maker-merrick-blog

[maker-merrick-blog]

I’m definitely not volunteering for the second. So midsection it is. 

Sure, I’m not looking to get on anyone’s bad side. Just need a little stress relief and there’s no one around to fuck.

[maker-merrick-blog]

Sounds fair. Good and clean. Let’s keep it at the midsection, yea? Nothing to the head or groin.

Or whatever. 

Excellent. I’ve been itching for a good, clean fight.

[maker-merrick-blog]

Yea but those are in the name of science... or whatever.

... Fuck it. I could use a good scuffle.

And yet she’s okay with doing all sorts of invasive procedures on you? Seems like a double standard to me. But all right, if you insist.

[maker-merrick-blog]

I don’t know, man. I don’t think Sara would be too happy with me if I got hurt scrapping with one of the security guards.

I’m sure they won’t care as long as you’re working out. I promise I won’t kick your ass too badly.

[maker-merrick-blog]

I'd like to say yes, but I don’t know if I should. Sparring isn’t a part of my regulated workouts.

You looking for a sparring partner, Merrick? Or just looking to hit a bag?

[maker-merrick-blog]

Feels good.

[maker-merrick-blog]

julian. thank you, so much. for helping me. you didn't have to, and i just...appreciate it. so thank you.

You don’t have to thank me, Christine. I’m just glad I was there to get you to Sara-- er, Dr. Cavanaugh. If you ever need anything, it’s okay to ask.

[maker-merrick-blog]

Julian was relieved when it was revealed that all parties involved were okay. Christine didn’t need a sedative, and Stephen hadn’t been hit during any part of the redhead’s episode. Everyone was fine, and the man breathed a little easier. Julian took a few steps away from the table again, giving Christine space to recover with the comfortable proximity of her good friend. And it gave him the chance to turn his attention to his brilliant lover. “Hardly,” Julian mumbled with a half smile, wishing he could lean into Sara’s touch, but resisting. They weren’t alone here, after all. “More like I panicked. Bringing her to you was the only thing I could think to do.” Julian shrugged once, reaching out to giving Sara’s hip a quick, appreciate squeeze before he tucked both hands into the front pockets of his pants. “She gonna be alright, then?”

like déjà vu | chris & open

Stephen’s voice helped, but so did the quiet that followed. Her mother was gone, the needle was gone, there was no more. She twisted her hands to hold onto Dr. Cavanaugh’s, nodding at her question. She was with her, yes. Gulping down breaths, Christine struggled to bring her body back down. Once she was out of the worst of the anxiety episode, everything got a little easier. She could think clearer and start to resituate herself in reality. Julian’s fingers were cool against her forehead and Christine let her eyes close. “Stephen?” she mumbled out, worry clear in her tone as wearied as it was. She wanted to be sure that she hadn’t hurt her friend in her fit. “I’m sorry,” she sighed out. As the adrenaline and panic washed out of her system, Christine was left with just exhaustion. Bone-deep. Opening her eyes once more, she attempted a smile. “Thank you.”

[maker-merrick-blog]

Julian watched the entire thing unfold with such worry, feeling completely helpless as Sara fetched a syringe and Stephen sat behind Christine to help regulate her breathing. The subject wanted to chime in that Christine was perfectly lucid, that she’d recognized him with ease back in the hallway. As it was, the man was totally frozen. It wasn’t until Sara was checking the redhead’s pulse that he finally regained his ability to breathe, and Julian stepped a little closer. “Is it an anxiety attack or something?” he whispered softly to Sara, unsure as to whether or not he should try to interact with Christine just yet. He didn’t want to overwhelm her with too many hands, or too many voices. “She hit her head, Sara.” Taking the small risk, Julian reached out with a gentle hand to push red hair off her moist forehead. “Did she get you, Stephen? You okay?”

like déjà vu | chris & open

Christian tried to keep her dazed eyes on Julian, listening to his rolling accent. Not too different from her own, she noted absently. “Animals,” she repeated, struggling to hold the conversation in her mind. Through it her mother was sobbing now, going on about her lost life, the future she could have had, the success. That everything Christine had earned had been thanks to her, that Christine was nothing without her. “Mama, please…” she gasped out, fitting her head to Julian’s chest.

Time moved strangely for Christine, through an episode. Suddenly they were in a lab, Sara’s. Panic streaked through her, choking her off at the chest. Not another lab, not another lab, not more tests. There were hands there suddenly more voices. She knew where she was, who she was, who they were. Solid behind her and underneath her. The easy push and pull of Stephen’s lungs. The sight of the needle had her thrashing a moment later though. Her mother’s voice was lost in a roar of fear. “No, no, no. No, please. Don’t…” Needles meant sedatives. Before her failure that had meant pain and tests. After, they had meant a dry tongue, waking up heavy-headed and too full and lost in her own body. “Please, no. I’ll be good.” Her head cracked against something – someone, likely and Christine tucked into herself. 

The voice was gone – her mother was gone. All that was left was the pistoning of her lungs, the heat against her cheeks, the wail of her pulse. “I’ll be good,” she slurred hoarsely.

[maker-merrick-blog]

“Okay, okay,” he breathed, carefully brushing Christine’s fingers off her own wrist so he could check for her pulse instead. Even without counting in his head, Julian could feel that it was quick and erratic. Far from normal. He wasn’t an expert, but he could tell that this wasn’t good. Was, in fact, probably very bad. A panic attack, maybe? He knew very little about such occurrences, but something was happening and he knew he wasn’t equipped to handle it on his own. “Have you ever seen any of my sculptures, Christine?” he asked as he carefully took the redhead into his strong arms, lifting her easily from the floor before heading off in the direction of the labs. Maybe he had no idea how to help the girl, but Julian sure as hell knew someone who could. “I work with metal, you know. I like making animals. Sometimes different flowers, or abstract portraits. But mostly animals.” Julian didn’t know what else to talk about, but he hoped that this would help. Even if only a little.

It was maybe ten minutes later that Julian was shoving through the door into Sara’s lab, relieved to find that she was still here. Stephen, too. He would be good for Christine -- as far as he knew, the two were close. “Sara,” he husked, carefully placing the trembling girl in his arms onto one of the sterile medical beds. “I found her in one of the halls. She’s having a-- an episode, I think. With her mother.” All of his words were hushed and directed at the doctor. “Her pulse isn’t right... I didn’t know what else to do, I’m sorry.”

like déjà vu | chris & open

Christine edged closer to Julian and his comforting touch. He was strong and gentle and kind, he was someone who would have protected her from her mother’s vitriol. “Just…” Searing pain and her mother’s toxicity. “Just talk to me, please.” Another voice forcing her mother’s from the forefront. Her heart was racing behind the scream of her mother, breathing gone inside-out. “And…” Her fingers scrabbled for her wrist, panicking. “My pulse?” she questioned.

[maker-merrick-blog]

It wasn’t real. Whatever she was hearing was lost on Julian and a concerned crease pinched his brow. He’d never witnessed one Christine’s episodes, only knew through conversation with Sara what her illness consisted of. His heart ached for the pool girl, but Julian didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to help. “She’s not here,” he repeated Christine’s words back to her, carefully rubbing his hand down her spine and back up again. He had no idea how to comfort her, though, nor how to pull her out of her hallucination. “I don’t know what to do... What do you need?” he asked her, his voice edging on desperate.

like déjà vu | chris & open

A blurry voice came from far away, from reality though. Her name. She tipped her eyes up and found Julian’s concerned face before her. “I don’t…” Reaching a shaking hand up, she carded her hair out of her eyes. “My mother.” A howling shriek of protest sounded inside her mind. “She’s not here,” she said, half to herself and half for Julian’s benefit. A sharp, hot pain had wormed its way into the base of Christine’s head. Something she had felt only during her most intense hallucinations, at the beginning of the night. “Julian…” Her head dropped as more abuse came from her mother’s voice.

[maker-merrick-blog]

Julian had been on his way to the gym for his designated exercise hour when he heard a thumb against the wall somewhere behind him. At first, he didn’t think much of it. There was always movement around the facility, always people traveling from point a to point be. Maybe it was the amputee failed subject. The man was perfectly content to keep moving, until he heard a distressed voice apologizing to... well, nothing. At long last, Julian turned around, slowly pulling the sweat rag from his shoulder. She was slender, faint in the distance, but Julian recognized her easily enough. Christine, and she was apologizing to no one. “Christine?” he called, taking long strides in her direction until he could knee at her side. A gentle hand found her shoulder. “Who are you talking to?” he asked softly, hopeful that it wasn’t someone in her head...

like déjà vu | chris & open

The ringing came first, distant and at the back of Christine’s head. She was in the hall, on her way to Penn’s room when it struck her. But it couldn’t be an episode, no again. Not so soon after her most recent one. Even at their worst, they hadn’t been this frequent. When her hands started to shake though and the ambient noise of the facility faded, Christine knew. It was another. A buzzing hum and then the desperate, angry voice of her mother broke through the back of her skull. You worthless demon! You’re the cause of all my problems! Christine teetered and lapsed against the wall, breathing shallow. “I’m sorry,” she gasped out, eyes closed tight.

[maker-merrick-blog]

Oh, I actually get that one. We say bull in a china shop, though. I imagine an elephant would do a lot more damage.

There are few, Max always calls me slon v posudnoi lavke. It translates to elephant in China shop. We have them in Persian too but they make no sense in english.

[maker-merrick-blog]

That’s alright. Idioms can be pretty weird and confusing sometimes. I’m sure there must be plenty of Russian expressions that I wouldn’t understand. Especially since I don’t speak the language.

Yes, very creepy. I am still getting used to expressions. Some of them are very strange. I promise not to take your heart. 

[maker-merrick-blog]

Yes, it is an expression. Might be a little creepy if you were actually trying to take my heart.

I am not after…oh that is expression, yes?

[maker-merrick-blog]

I know. That’s what makes me so lucky...

Yes ma’am.

[Private]

Science has nothing to do with it. Not when you’re concerned.

Then shut up and kiss me.

[maker-merrick-blog]

I think that might make me the luckiest subject here.

Except not ‘cause I’m kissing them.

[Private]

How generous of you, Mr. Merrick. It is my job after all. I have a vested interest in seeing you in one piece.

My lips are sealed.