mariam-03

[mariam-03]

Once again I'm stuck in the rut.

O Allah! Pardon me and save me from my affliction.

[mariam-03]

Same but I didn't read as a child. I became an avid reader in my late teens only.

[mariam-03]

I hate that I'm becoming what I've always disliked - a sullen, short-tempered and angry person.

My child is bringing out the worst in me.

Or maybe, I've always had this facade of being the sweet tempered and happy person.

Who knows? Who'll care?

5th February 2024

[mariam-03]

Where is my home?

I want to go home but I don't know where it is. I can't say for sure if it's with you, or is it a place with the presence of Ammi and Abbi.

I can't find peace anywhere.

Oh Lord, please don't keep me deprived of this feeling of love, peace and security. Please have mercy on me.

5th February, 2024

[mariam-03]

ranjish hī sahī dil hī dukhāne ke liye aa

aa phir se mujhe chhod ke jaane ke liye aa

kuchh to mire pindār-e-mohabbat kā bharam rakh

tū bhī to kabhī mujh ko manāne ke liye aa

pahle se marāsim na sahī phir bhī kabhī to

rasm-o-rah-e-duniyā hī nibhāne ke liye aa

kis kis ko batā.enge judā.ī kā sabab ham

tū mujh se ḳhafā hai to zamāne ke liye aa

ik umr se huuñ lazzat-e-girya se bhī mahrūm

ai rāhat-e-jāñ mujh ko rulāne ke liye aa

ab tak dil-e-ḳhush-fahm ko tujh se haiñ umīdeñ

ye āḳhirī sham'eñ bhī bujhāne ke liye aa

~Ahmad Faraz

15 January, 2024

[mariam-03]

Kho jaane ka ji chah raha hai

Hum to kisi ke na rahe

Na khuda ke na miyan ke aur na hi bacchon ke

Aaj sab be matlab lag raha hai.

2nd January 2024

[mariam-03]

I needed this reminder today.

Indeed, Allah is merciful.

June 2023

Imām Ibn Rajab (رحمه الله) said:

انتظار الفرج بالصبر عبادة،

فإن البلاء لا يدوم.

“Waiting (patiently) for relief (from grief or suffering) is ʿibādah;

For indeed calamities do not last (forever).”

— [Majmūʿ Rasāʾil]

[mariam-03]

That's us!!

June 2023

[mariam-03]

Would like to paint flowers like this.... someday.

18 December 2022

[mariam-03]

August 2022

crazy how trauma can make you push people away when all you really want is love

[mariam-03]

Reminds me of you😂

September 2022

[mariam-03]

First thoughts on seeing - I want this for my baby!

Reality hits. I don't own a cat. (Sigh!) Alhamdulillah I have a ten month old boy.

InshaAllah we'll have a cat too!

August 2021

[mariam-03]

August 2021

The older I get....the less I feel the need to be included, understood, or accepted.

[mariam-03]

The nights are long, the years short.

~ Don Perrott

4 June 2021

Isa turned nine months old. Time is flying. I want to hold back each minute; to hug and kiss him; make it a special moment for us so that when he grows up he knows that he has been loved always.

[mariam-03]

I do the same thing! 🙄😂😂

Sometimes I just agree with people so they can stop talking

[mariam-03]

“When I have a daughter, I will teach her to love the Qur'an the way my mama loves it. She sits with it three times a day and radiates the house with its light when she wakes up to recite it at 3.30 in the morning. She fills her heart with it when grieving and tightens her grip around it when the ground shakes so hard under her feet. I will teach my daughter that my mama taught me that patience and persistence are the keys to build a lifelong meaningful companionship with the Qur'an. If there’s only one thing I could wish for my daughter, I’d want her to love the Qur'an like my mama loves it because her bones itch with discomfort, her mind screams with dissatisfaction, and her heart beats with longing if she goes a day without her lifelong companion.”

— m-khadija, I Will Teach My Daughter to Love the Qur’an the Way my Mama Loves It. 

[mariam-03]

it’s so crazy how reminder after reminder will hit us, and we are so blind and desensitised to them. is this not an indication that our hearts are hardening? someone you know of dies, you hear of it and it doesn’t make you ponder your own mortality? that Allah swt can take your life in the exact same way? that doesn’t shake you? doesn’t terrify you? doesn’t make you think that it’s time to end these sins and turn back to Allah swt before it’s all a bit too late?