mariethinsblog

[mariethinsblog]

I gained so much weight. Was down at 63 but them I got forced to eat… now I’m at 76.2kg. I hate myself. I need to lose weight.

[mariethinsblog]

Bin am überlegen eine ana Gruppe zu gründen. Ich will eine familiäre Gruppe aber dennoch strenge Regeln. Wenn jemand Interesse hat schreibt mir, ab 5 Leuten mach ich eine Gruppe

[mariethinsblog]

So since I’m no longer in an ana group (I would join one) I feel like I’m alone and have no one to talk to about my goals and all this shit so guess I’m gone be active on tumblr again. Idk why but just need to tell people about how i feel and what I achieved yk

[mariethinsblog]

[mariethinsblog]

Guys I’m back, had a stressful time, but I never gave up. I’m living in a Forster family at the moment and they didn’t care about me dating or not, but then while I was on a class trip my teacher called them bc I didn’t eat, since then they are trying to control what I eat, but luckily I still manage to starve. I’m on a 64h fast right now and trying to make it at least till 115. I’m at 69,5kg what fucks me up cus I tried everything to loose weight. But now I have less stress so I’m 100% focused on ana. Trying my best ig.

[mariethinsblog]

Ik I haven’t posted for sooo long but I feel like the biggest disappointment right now. I drank alcohol. Too much. I mean I purged either ways but I feel like the biggest failure. Told the person I got drunk with literally,it’s not that bad I purge after everything I eat or drink,.

[mariethinsblog]

I’m not hungry… I’m sad

I’m not hungry… I’m sad

I’m not hungry… I’m sad.

I’m not hungry… I’m sad.

I’m not hungry… I’m sad.

I’m not hungry… I’m sad.

I’m not hungry… I’m sad.

I’m not hungry… I’m sad.

I’m not hungry… I’m sad.

I’m not hungry… I’m sad.

I’m not hungry… I’m sad.

I’m not hungry… I’m sad.

[mariethinsblog]

Sorry that I didn’t posted anything, but school kinda stressed me out. But tomorrow is my last exam before break and then I can completely focus on getting skinny again. I hate myself, because I gained SO MUCH FUCKING WEIGH the last weeks. I’m at 77,7kg, before school fucked up I were at 72. But I know I can get there again soon. I NEED TO!!!

Gonna keep you guys updated

[mariethinsblog]

Christmas is coming

And everyone is so excited, but I’m so freaking scared. I mean there is gonna be so much food, and it’s gonna be so hard to eat nothing or even just not that much because it’s so hard to resist when there’s food everywhere. I’m scared because I’m loosing weight in the last days and really don’t want it to be for nothing because of Christmas.

[mariethinsblog]

Sorry that I was inactive the last few days, but I had to log back into Tumblr because I have a new phone. The last few days have been hard... have eaten more than I wanted, and also gained weight. But I don't understand that because I was actually in deficit every day. Today I ate about 650 calories, and that's killing me. I will fast again from tomorrow.

[mariethinsblog]

Hi, bist du in einer pro Ana Gruppe? ✌️

Ja, habe mit jemand anderem eine gegründet.

[mariethinsblog]

I hate myself so much. Ate about 300 Calories yesterday, and gained fucking almost 2kg. I’m at 71.1 kg now. I hate it. I was so happy to finally be under 70kg. And now I’m over them. I’m gonna fast as long as I can, because Christmas is soon and then I have to eat so much, and I really don’t wanna go over the 75kg. Actually not even over 71,5kg.

[mariethinsblog]

14:00 17.11 (110h) 70,8kg

It's all good, even if my body is a little weak, I'll continue. I just notice that I'm extremely tired and weak, but I don't care.

5:00 (18.11) (125h) 70,5 kg

Hopefully I'll manage to continue fasting, meet my boyfriend and he'll quickly worry if I don't eat anything, but that will somehow end well. And if not, I have to come up with a lie.

20.00 18.11 (140h) 70,2kg

I managed not to eat anything, I meant that I feel a little sick. I hope I'll be under 70kg tomorrow, but I'll manage this 200g. Actually, I would only fast for 2 more days, and then the 200 hours would be over, but I think I will fast longer because it's really easy right now.

6:00 19.11 (150h) 69,4kg

Everything is still fine, I'm not even hungry. And I'm finally under 70kg!!! That gives me so much motivation to go through.

16:00 19.11 (160h) 70,6 kg

I'm no longer under 70kg... but probably just because I drank 4 liters of water. That was because I really had the feeling all the time that my whole body had dried out or something, so my mouth was also completely dry.

4:00 20.11 (172h) 69,6kg

I'm afraid I'll eat something today. My circulation is just really bad, I also tipped over earlier. So really a little hard, especially because I have to walk a lot today.

12:00 20.11 (180h)

I haven't eaten anything yet, but I'm invited to dinner at my grandma's later, and she doesn't accept any excuses. So I will have to eat something, but start fasting again from tomorrow.

18:30

I ate about 350 calories, I hate myself for it. But from tomorrow I'll fast. And then I just have to make sure that I'm not invited to dinner anywhere.

[mariethinsblog]

Today was all right. I didn't eat anything, but only 6,300 steps, and also only burned 300 calories. But at least I didn't eat anything. This morning I was at 69.4 kg, but now I'm at 70.6 but probably only because I drank a lot.

[mariethinsblog]

Today was okay. Weighing 70.2 kg. I didn't eat anything, but I also couldn't burn so many calories because I was at the movies with my boyfriend. Fasting is kind of really easy, so I notice that my body is a little weak, but I don't really care.

[mariethinsblog]

12:00 15.11 (60h)

It's easy to fast, I don't even think I could eat anything, I know I'll make the 200 hours!

22.00 15.11 (70h) 71.0kg

It has never been so easy for me to fast. I love it, it feels so good! Even if it's getting really hard with my circulation, but I can do it. Even if I tip over, I take the risk.

8:00 16.11 (80h) 70,9kg

My body is really weak, but that doesn't stop me from anything. And I can lie to my parents quite well. The hardest thing is to lie to the caregivers in psychiatry, who realize that I don't eat anything, but they can't do anything, so I don’t really care.

18:00 16.11 (90h) 70,9kg

I hate it a bit that I don't lose weight, but I think it's also mostly just water, because I drank a lot today. My body is getting weaker, and I am often about to tip over, but nothing stops me from fasting.

4:00 17.11 (100h) 70.9kg

The number on the scale is still not getting less , which really bothers me, I drank a black coffee, and nothing more. And that will stay that way until I can weigh myself again later, then hopefully it will be less.

[mariethinsblog]

Will bring such an update every 50 hours

10:00 13.11. (10h) 74,4kg

I'm not hungry, and I'm doing really well. So I just have this empty feeling in my stomach and I love it completely. It feels so light and free.

20:00 13.11 (20h). 73,1kg

It's all good, I'm not hungry, and I feel as good and free as I haven't been in a long time. It feels good to finally fast again.

6:00. 14.11 (30h)

It's all still good, but the empty feeling is somehow getting less, which feels so shitty. I mean it doesn't feel like I've eaten anything, but it just feels like I haven't eaten anything like that.

16:00 14.11. (40h)72,4kg

I think it's easy to fast. The biggest problem is my parents, but if I continue to lie, it will be okay. I've already eaten... I'm not doing so well... I'm eating in my room (then throw it away)...

6:00 15.11 (54h) 71,2kg

Okay, the feeling of hunger is gone, is somehow good, somehow not... I have to come up with another excuse for my parents today, maybe I'll go to a friend's house. If not, I'll take the food with me to my room and throw it away.