marigoldssecret - Tumblr blog

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Sometimes I'm pretty sure that having ADHD is just having Brain™️ - Overdramatic Bitch Edition

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While I'm uncertain that this only relates to ADHD, I am certain that having ADHD intensifies the feeling. Regardless, I'm pretty sure it's the RSD acting up.

I have been having a fairly rough weekend due to migraines, and today, all I wanted was some sort of reaction to me not being active in places I usually am - but deep down I also know that what I really wanted, was for a specific person to show interest in me, and that regardless of who else did, if that person didn't, I'd end up feeling lonely and like nobody likes me.

How whacked, and completely illogical is that??!

I am so lucky to have several amazing groups of people who would all immediately give me all the support and kind words I could ever need, but because this one person apparently didn't notice that I haven't been there, none of that matters? That's not fair, my dear brain, not at all. And it's such an intense feeling too - I can feel myself begin to spiral immediately if I think about how this person didn't reach out to me.

In the end, I ended up writing this person, and they responded in reasonable time with their usual enthusiasm - but it's still just not what I wanted, is it? So now I still feel slightly hurt as I'm writing this, as illogical as it is.

Anyway, I'm also pretty certain I'm hyperfocusing on this person, and that definitely doesn't help.

Sigh.

[marigoldssecret]

How the fuck do you tell the difference between having a crush and hyperfocusing on someone??! I want to fucking cry

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I want so so fucking badly for this not to be a thing

How I wish more people understood this.

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Today I explained ADHD paralysis to my coworker using memes.

He's going to get tested, in part because of me, and he's been having a couple of hard days with lots of restless energy and his brain working against him. He tried to explain to me how he was feeling and asked if I could relate to it.

It felt good to say yes. I showed him the picture attached to this post, and tried to explain how I manage to cheat it. I think I did alright.

I'm stuck in paralysis hell myself currently, and work has been difficult, so this kind of helped me too.

[marigoldssecret]

I always forget. I need to go sit on the floor for a bit.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND US SOMETIMES ???

[marigoldssecret]

big ole comic about adult ADHD diagnosis + big feelings + making sure childhood me is okay