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today sucks and i feel so drained. i forgot to take my antidepressants today and my eyes are hanging.
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NO WAY I REWEIGHED MYSELF WITHOUT CLOTHES AND IM 120.2 AND I GOT ON AND OFF TWICE. I just need to lose 5 more pounds to get to my goal.
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Ht: 5’8
CW: 121.6
BMI : 18.5
i’m literally just average weight rn. but i’m so close to getting a lower bmi. i just need to pump myself up and keep going. i can always be thinner. maybe if im thinner people will change their perception of me and i can look better to them. plus i really despise my double chin. i’m so close. please keep going erin im begging you
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does anyone else find it so embarrassing to eat in public? i work as a receptionist for a clinic and my coworker eats constantly (with her mouth open no less) and it makes me feel so uncomfortable. she fills her personal drawer to the brim with snacks and food all the while constantly buying more food to add instead of finishing what she has in there. it makes me sick and nauseous but also hungry myself which makes me hate myself, and i find myself bringing ice from our freezer up to my desk so i can eat that, but even that is embarrassing to have a mouth full of while trying to munch it down before a patient comes to me to check in.
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so anxious atm. i’m about to meet my boyfriends mom AND stay 4 nights at her house. which i’m sure is incredibly stressful for her too. i hope it goes okay, i really want to make a good impression and i even bought a BUNCH of new clothes so i can look put together for the entire week. i leave on wednesday and hopefully i can lose a few pounds before then so i look pretty enough for him. wish me luck :0
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