mascarthy

[mascarthy]

TEXT📱 KITSON

Kitty: Yeah, you talking about people always sounds like you're at least getting a half chub thinking about them. Unless you're talking about Madison, then it's a full. I know the girl looks like ET with a snapchat filter on, you don't have to validate yourself. In a SING OFF? Yes, we would be! Also literally last time we had a week about "sharing things", Finn beat the snot out of her own best friend in the choir room.

Mason: I don't know why you're so into pretending that my eternal excitement is sexual in any way but it seems like you're REALLY into it so I hope being super wrong about that at least makes you feel good. I just said "sing off" because it was the first thing I thought of, we're not married to the idea! We could always present a general battle of performances and win! Yeah, well, that's what happens when people sing about things before talking them over!

[mascarthy]

TEXT📱 KITSON

Kitty: 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 The extreme always makes an impression, I guess. But whatever Mason, you're close enough. Kait not being high on your list does help a little bit, but not by much tbh. One thing about the sing off though, Sugar's a sophomore too so we're automatically fucked. We're not in kindergarten, no one's going to want to do a sharing circle.

Mason: I am? Thanks! I mean, Kait is interesting looking if you like alien-looking girls and some people do but I'm not one of them. Hey, we're not automatically effed! Sugar's got a lot of other strengths too; she's a really really good dancer and she's super rich so we could have WAY better costumes and effects if we made it like a generic battle of the bands kind of thing! I love sharing circles but you're probably right, people don't seem to want to share...

[mascarthy]

TEXT📱 KITSON

Kitty: Whatever you say, James Haven. Hell is Bad. You think being separated from Madison on a lame little list would be bad? Imagine that happening forever AND tortured regularly and have to do things like slide down waterslides lined with razor blades into a pool of boiling pee everyday! Or it means whatever's wrong with your eyes is a degenerative thing and one day you're lusting over Kait Hummel and the next you're punching some poor girl directly in the teeth during a simple dismount. EXACTLY! The only way to get them to understand that we have value in glee club at this point is to force it, otherwise we'll just get drowned out.

Mason: My name is Mason, not James! You know that, Kitty 😂 Being separated from Madison for forever would be worse than those other torture things you listed, wow, that place sounds so mean! Just because I think most of the people in glee are cute doesn't mean I'm lusting over them, why do you always go so extreme with it? And Kait is maybe not as high on the cute list as other people to me if that means anything about my eyesight LOL. There's got to be more productive ways to force it though! Like... I don't know, having a sing off, juniors versus sophomores, and kicking their butts! Or having a sharing circle and telling them and Mr. Schue how we feel!

[mascarthy]

TEXT📱 KITSON

Mason: Why wouldn't we? We're siblings, we still live together, it makes sense! And ew, I don't watch twin porn, who would even make that?! I don't watch much porn at all, actually, did you know most of it is super violent towards women? It's not fun 😨 We would've been separated in spirit and that's just as bad, it's a twin thing. Oh. I mean, I knew it was all lies since everybody in the glee club is pretty hot, but I don't get it, why would you go out of your way to do something that made people feel bad?

Kitty: If you don't know why that's weird, I'm not going to explain it to you. I just know if I do you're going to tell me something else horrifying about your relationship with your sister. The world is a horrifying place, I don't know who does these things. I don't watch porn either, it's a one way ticket to the Boling hot shores of hell so that doesn't really surprise me. More like an extreme codependency thing but werk. I'm going to need you to check your eyesight before you ever spot me during a stunt ever again. Everyone in the Glee Club is absolutely not hot, most are more passable than the average Lima Loser but All hot is genuinely offensive to actual hot people. Because! All Mr Schue ever pays attention to half the time are the annoying juniors. Literally we all joined the club the exact same day, being an upperclassmen is meaningless here, so what makes Finn and Raphael better than Roderick, Me or even you? All the drama they shove in everyone's faces every week. So I needed to shake the table a little on behalf of all of us Glee club underdogs

Mason: There's nothing horrifying about my relationship with my sister but okay, whatever you say! Hell DOES sound bad, I guess that's another good reason for not watching scary mean porn. What, why? I spot brilliantly every time which means my eyesight is fabulous which means that I'm mostly right and most of us are really pretty people! Well. I mean, being mean is never the answer but I understand where you were coming from at least. They really do get everything which is super unfair! They're not even more talented than us or anything, they're just older which isn't that useful -- if anything, the fact that we'll still be here in two years is a great reason to have us be the more seasoned performers. I just wish there was a way for people to understand that without having to hurt any feelings.

[mascarthy]

TEXT📱 KITSON

Kitty: All jokes aside, I genuinely did not think you two still shared a room. Thank you for that horrible information. I do not want any of your freaky twincest porn recommendations, keep them to yourself. You wouldn't have actually been separated tf? If I ever remake the Glist one of you is ending up on a different list. I absolutely did not make the glist to make anyone smile. Puck, Ryder, Finn and Lauren are all on the hot list and I'M on the not list. Clearly it was a list of lies

Mason: Why wouldn't we? We're siblings, we still live together, it makes sense! And ew, I don't watch twin porn, who would even make that?! I don't watch much porn at all, actually, did you know most of it is super violent towards women? It's not fun 😨 We would've been separated in spirit and that's just as bad, it's a twin thing. Oh. I mean, I knew it was all lies since everybody in the glee club is pretty hot, but I don't get it, why would you go out of your way to do something that made people feel bad?

[mascarthy]

TEXT📱 KITSON

Kitty: That IS the hype, I'm surprised you and Maddykins didn't cuddle up and watch it in bed every Sunday for the "twinning representation". Of course you don't 🙂 It was just a list, Mason. Why does it even matter if you two were separated or not?

Mason: Excuse you, we have bunk beds! And there are WAY better twinning representations out there, with no icky blood or ick, do you want recommendations? I don't know, because being separated makes us sad and we didn't get sad so yay, isn't that a good thing? I mean, you probably made the list to make people smile and people are getting caught on the negative but your happy plan worked on at least two of us!

[mascarthy]

TEXT📱 OPEN

Kitty: You know what happened to the incest twin on game of thrones when he irritated enough people with his incest? They cut his hand off. Stop telling me how hot you think your sister is.

Mason: You know, people are always talking about Game of Thrones around me and I don't get the hype. It sounds so creepy and violent! And right now, I'm not really sure what the relevance is! I'm just thanking you for not separating us, its no comment on Madison's appearance one way or another!

[mascarthy]

TEXT📱 OPEN

[Sent in the format of a classic iOS press release]

Kitty: So I know you all have a lot of questions about the Glist and why I made it and why I placed certain people in certain spots and honestly. I gave you the weekend to think about it and if you still don't know, Just ask Roderick. It was all his idea and I don't want most of you people speaking to me.

Xoxo 💋

Kitty

Mason: Oh yeah, I totally meant to thank you for putting me and Madison on the Glist exactly as we were supposed to be -- right next to each other 🥰 I don't know why everyone was so weird about the list, everyone is always checking out everyone else all the times and have different opinions. I hope people aren't being super mean to you about it!

[mascarthy]

johart​:

It was a positive thing! It was a sign that there are still good people in this world, and quite frankly, sometimes we need that reminder.  Because you’re right, though, that we need people to spread positivity. It is, but it also means that I’m behind in my studies because of the last two years I’ve spent in Africa. It’s why I’m a sophomore when, technically, I’m old enough to be a senior.

Oh! That makes sense, I was wondering why you looked like a full-fledged hunk of man already! I was both jealous and intrigued!

[mascarthy]

marlonroses​:

Exactly. I mean, if I don’t have any other offers I might have to suck it up but… I’m going to exhaust every avenue until then.

Yeah, well… growing up in my town, you kind of wanted an escape from reality. It kind of sucked. People mostly cared about football, and anything pertaining to the arts was kind of brushed aside. But maybe you just haven’t found the right book? I mean, there are so many movies that are based on books but you miss out on so much because they can only fit so much into the running time, you know?

I'm sure we'll find other offers for you! That food court place is always hiring, I see someone new every time I want a sample! 

Boo, well, good thing you're here now! Lima isn't a safe haven by any means but at least the school has a fun Glee club as well as the best cheerleading squad ever! I guess maybe... are there fun short books, maybe???

[mascarthy]

marlonroses​:

I can’t really take all of the credit… Someone else offered me a job working alongside their dad cleaning up roadkill… I’m not really sure I’ve got the stomach for that, but if there aren’t many options out there…

But that takes away the magic! You can get lost in a good novel and find yourself dropped in a world that’s so much better than the real one. But I guess you have a point… still… I think you’re missing out. There are some great books out there that if you pick it up, you might not put it down until you’re done.

I don’t think I’d have the stomach for that either, animals are the best alive!

It’s so nice that you feel that way about books! I’ve never been able to get lost in a book, honestly; my attention span runs out after a few seconds, so I doubt there’s any book good enough to transport me even if I had the time to sit and read but again, super cool that it’s possible for that to happen to you! It sounds like you read a lot!

[mascarthy]

marlonroses​:

Okay, maybe not anything - if it involves dead animals, I might be a little skeptical, and of course not anything immoral or illegal but… yeah, I’m not opposed to custodial work or even taking care of an elderly neighbor or something…

But… how do you learn, then? Especially in English class… There are so many great writers out there and being able to read and discuss their books is just.. well, it makes class almost worth it.

Wow, you’re so creative! I never even would’ve thought of jobs that involved dead animals or immoral or illegal things! I was thinking more like the person at the food court who hands out little corn dog samples. Taking care of old people sounds so nice, I wish I could do that but old people scare me.

I don’t know! I guess I read summaries online on the way home from cheer practice sometimes and that’s usually good enough for me! I just want to keep my GPA up enough to stay in the Cheerios, it’s not like I’m ever going to be a writer or an English teacher someday, you know?

[mascarthy]

marlonroses​:

Honestly? I’d take about anything right now… I just want to give back to my parents somehow.

But yeah, I think I know you… don’t we have a couple of classes together? I think I sit behind you in English, at least…

Okay, ‘anything’, that’ll make it easy to make recommendations!

And yeah, we probably do! I don’t really pay attention in classes though. Honestly, they’re my best time to nap so that I’m ready and refreshed for Cheerio practice after school. I’ll say hi next time though!

[mascarthy]

theryder-lynn​:

Psychic communication? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that before. It sounds a little trippy. The day hasn’t been that bad actually. I was more thinking the lack of sleep was going to do it for me. I’ll probably feel differently when I hit the practice field later.

Not trippy, twinny! It’s easy as long as you have someone who knows your mind as well as your own and vice versa. And yay, good! Next time start your day off thinking it’ll go amazing and it’ll be even better! I get that, Cheerio practice always makes me excited too!

[mascarthy]

I usually just talk to Madison when sleep doesn't come to me! And sometimes I don't even have to say it outloud, I just think it and she hears it all the way from her bunk. I'd totally recommend psychic communication during a hard-to-sleep night, it's way fun and always leaves me excited for the next day! You should never have to start out a day thinking it'll be dreadful!

What do you do when sleep doesn't come to you, you come up with and write songs and hope they aren't garbage the next day. Tomorrow is going to be dreadful, well today rather.

[mascarthy]

text 💬 mccarthys

Madison: They could have just gotten too excited writing the second five and ended up doing a loop. I mean, loops make all letters and numbers cuter, I so can't blame them.

Madison: Please, you have like, a nose-model nose and the rest of the face around it is like a perfect fit, and that's to GO with the legs!

Madison: IDK, maybe they're worried about having to impress me AND you or something? Or about not being the most important boy in my life, oops. You can't know yet, but if you want to ask about someone specific I could tell you if they made the cut or not! Only if you like, tell me one person on your mental list right now, though! IDK if it's on purpose but your psychic inside voice is turned off right now so I can't figure it out for myself.

Mason: That's probably exactly what happened, how are you such a genius?!

Mason: Okay, sure, but your eyebrows?! Your eyes?! You totally have the prettiest eyes in the school and people aren't blind!

Mason: Maybe! I feel like people worry about impressing you for me more than the other way around though, I'm pretty chill! Or like, not chill, but easy to impress! And okay, um, I wanted to ask about Bree tbh but then she transferred soooo never mind! One person? Gosh, that's hard. I like most of the Glee Club guys honestly. Especially the sophomores. The juniors are a little creepy.

[mascarthy]

text 💬 mccarthys

Madison: Me too! Like, we're sort of a packaged deal! Maybe they meant to write 5 and 5 instead?

Madison: I don't think they want to date us, just look at us maybe? Which brings us back to the legs thing. You like, literally stand above the crowd, you're way more noticeable!

Madison: You really think people imagine dating me, though? Like who? P.S. do you have a list of people who are acceptable for me to date? Because like, I've been working on one for you since freshman orientation, just in case.

Mason: Maybe they did mean to do that! They're very similar numbers! In a way they're kind of the fraternal twins of integers!

Mason: Yes, I'm taller, but you have such long pretty hair and the nicest smile ever! I think that trumps legs!

Mason: I'm sure they do! You're the most amazing girl ever, why wouldn't they? I don't know anyone in specific but they wouldn't tell me because they know you'd read my mind and know immediately! P.S. kind of? It's a mental list but it's always changing because people are weird! Can I know who's on my list? Or is it not time?