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if someone asked me for directions i would simply tell them i dont know where i am right now

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𝐲𝐞𝐯𝐚 𝐳𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚 .

 一         *    intro   //   profile   //   pinterest 

𝐧𝐚𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐚 .

 一         *    intro   //   profile //   pinterest 

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SWEET HOME  스위트홈  (2020)

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//   **         𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫   @dvndelicns​  (  𝐲𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐲𝐚 )

          一         *   𝒕𝒉𝒆   𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏   𝒐𝒇   𝒓𝒂𝒘   𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏   only   struck   her   after   she’d   finished   her   performance.   her   eyes   silently   examining   her   wrist,   as   if   the   broken   bone  didn’t   belong   to   her   and   was   just   a   shockingly   gruesome   painting   that   was   meant   to   stir   up   some   kind   of   emotion   within   her.   with   the   passage   of   time   sora  had   thought   that  it   had   dulled   the   pain   of   physical   injuries,   equating   a   snapped   wrist   or   a   tiny   cut   and   shoving   into   the   same   register   of   certain   emotions   she   was   supposed   to   feel.   back   then,   she’d   never   felt   any   physical   pain   (  or   at   least   she   just   assumed   she   didn’t  ).   she’d   always   been   the   one   who   would   mend   wounds   and   tell   others  not   to   overreact   before   she’d   attend   her   own.   yet,   it   seemed   like   her   stay   at   the   little   palace  had  made   her   weak   一   or   maybe   it’d   just   dissolved   the   illusion   that   she   was   ever   okay   to   begin   with.   and,   as   much   as   she   didn’t   want   to   ask   for   help,   the   king      still   anticipated   another   performance   after   the   break   and   if   she   didn’t   fix   this   issue   she   wouldn’t   get   the   money   she   so   desperately   needed.   

“   uhm,   excuse   me,   miss   ? ”   she   approached   a   woman   which  elegance   even  a   mask   couldn’t    cover   up. “   someone   told   me  to   look  for  you  in   case   of   an   injury.“   her   gaze   averted   to   the   floor   as   a   sudden   sense   of   shyness   crept   up   on   her.   for   a   split   second   she   regretted   not   having   bothered   to   pick   up   her   mask   after   she   accidentally   ran   into   someone.   “   i   think   i   hurt   my   wrist   a   little.   unfortunately   i   don’t   have   enough   money   to   compensate   you   but   if   you’d   just   look   at   it   i’d   be   very   grateful.   ”

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yeva zudina in a nutshell

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*inserts incoherent sentences and bad jokes here bcs u know me* shipped miray and vika straight to ketterdam for my girl sora lol so here is my intro and pls plot with me although i suck at getting to my messages, but it’s my toxic charm #yolo (making it cool again).

[ sora nam ], an [ twenty-six ] year old grisha in the little palace. she is a [ inferni ] and are known in the little palace as the [ the taciturn ]. they are known to be [ loyal ] and [ tactless ] and vaguely resemble [ kim jisoo ]. + (she’s a blacksmith sucking at her job but i’ll explain it later)

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𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏  : mikasa ackerman (snk), kuroko (kuroko no basket), ty lee (atla)

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

full name : nam sora 

age: 26

gender & pronouns : cis-female , she/her

sexuality :  bisexual

grisha type : inferni

occupation: former aerialist, blacksmith

hometown : kabu, shu han

𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅

sexual harrassment tw, death tw

- her story starts the way many others would do. a girl, bright eyes and smiles born in shu han is welcomed by the world. she isn’t born into money and wealth but she the love she receives easily make up for it and she wouldn’t choose any other life.

- yet, sora knows fate has planned more for her; to widen her horizon, see the world beyond the bubble her parents raised her in. she didn’t know how but one day little sora would stand between a spellbound crowd, stretching her little body and tiptoeing to spot what had enchanted them. her eyes would set on a woman, grabbing a trapez bar and swinging through the air, so effortlessly as if it was something natural everyone was supposed to do. - and from this day on she wanted to do the same.

- it didn’t take her long, that she’d become part of a travelling circus. of course she wasn’t perfect at first but she was still a child and whatever a child would do was endearing enough to make people stay. something the owner knew.

- so it would continue until sora would perfect her craft, dreaming of becoming the woman she witnessed back then. yet, it seemed that this barely mattered and even if she became better there was something the director’s eyes, an everlasting displeasure about what it seemed like an empty everything. and how was she supposed to know what this everything was ?

- truth to be told, as always money was the culprit, the root of  greed and the catalyst for atrocious acts by a merciless man claiming it was the world that corrupted him and not his very own tainted soul. 

- it started with him wanting his artists to steal from the crowd when they were enveloped by a stilted dream. yet, his hunger would never be satisfied and soon he’d command his performers not only giving up their body for the circus but also for other purposes. fortunately, sora would only hear from it, noticing the way her friends usually so calm in the air, heights separating them from the ground would shake when they’d talk to her. yet, she could do nothing, they didn’t have a home or a place to go to. sora knew that one day she’d be the same as them and that day would soon come. and when it came moments would turn into a second. dim candle light, a spark, fire everywhere and then she’d run, not knowing what had happened, but continuing to run without looking back.

- in the back of her mind, she knew that it was her, and she shouldn’t have felt bad for getting rid of the people who tried to hurt her. yet, even she couldn’t control the fire, and it wouldn’t differntiate between her resting friends and them.

- she was a criminal, worse, grisha and she knew there was no place for them in shu han, so she planned to go to the little palace, knowing that she’d be safe her. however, even when she arrived, she couldn’t bring herself to let the truth escape from her mind, after all if she didn’t say it, it wouldn’t be real. so she lied, about everything, where she came from and what she was. and most importantly she wasn’t grisha.

- luckily, a friendly blacksmith noticed the desperate girl and without asking too much, they took pity on her, noticing the distraught look and offering her to help them out, tryign to teach her to become a blacksmith.

𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

- though very quite in nature, almost appearing detached from any situation, sora is quite soft-hearted. taking everything to heart and probably trusting people way too easily. yet, people rarely get to know this side of hers as sora isn’t someone who usually would approach people. adding to her natural introversion, her way with words is improvable to say at least as she tends to be a little too forward. since she’d been young she only interacted with the people she grew up with and therefore did not really learn other and more polite ways to communicate. 

𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

- childhood friends (can be from anywhere) she met when she was performing but they obviously couldn’t stay in touch but they were super close, someone she was supposed to steal from but they noticed it, people who are suspicious of her and think she’s a spy, people who try to actually make her a spy because she might be useful to them but also for comedic purposes she doesn’t notice it, exes for the angst !!!, relative to the people she whoops accidenally killed, friends in general, enemies, listen a first love and they meet again at the little palace, unrequited love bcs i love pain, people from the circus (pls) or someone who sneaked into the circus and witnesses the scene and almostgot killed lol

𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆

- okay, i have that headcanon, that people are generally super suspicious of her. because she is constantly found lurking on the roofs of random people’s houses but also she just generally gives super suspicious vibes due to her personality

- adding to that, she claims to be a blacksmith but all the weapons she make suck tbh. ( also i have that one cute headcanon where a childhood friend (wc) taught her how to forge knives but they also didn’t know how to make them correctly and sora just assumed it was the right way and still thinks it is, so all the knives are crooked)

- also she hates being an inferni as it’ll always remind her of the incident (aka the burning circus part 1) but sometimes she also uses her abilites to cook water for her tea (bcs i need to make my muses dumb as always)

- although she’s a (former) aerilist, as elegant she migth appear in the air or when she’s doing her monkey stuff, for some reason she is the opposite *rose vc* on the ground. also that’s probably the reason teh circus owner stopped the stealing shit from ppl thing bcs sora would always accidentally expose them--

- but also here comes my kuroko inspo where ppl actually don’t notice her bcs she makes no noise until she runs into the darkling’s favourite tree or something

- also i love superstitous muses but she’s into tarot cards

- is the worst at judging people’s character. she thinks yeva is a nice person bcs she once did a card reading for her aka (yeva: “this card says grisha suck... i mean it’s not my opinion but that’s what the card says” sora: “cool that was lit, live laugh love

idk but her 

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random jisoo gifs (7/∞) ♡

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𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐚 

aloysha didn’t remember how he ended up outside, but he didn’t altogether care as he took the last swig from the cup of kvas in his hand. they were leaning against a pillar, arms folded across their chest as the pinching night air from outside enveloped around them. they also didn’t notice when someone they didn’t recognize ended up sitting on the ground next to them. alo’s brain was not working properly, because they couldn’t place a name to the face in front of them. he only knew they were sad about something.

“you aren’t bothering me, i don’t think,” he slurred, but it did bother him how familiar the woman’s voice was…. “the only thing dramatic is….. the king. this all seems like a ruse for people to get drunk and not notice something bigger going on.”

                                                                          一一                  *   “   𝒊   𝒂𝒎   𝒏𝒐𝒕   ?   ”   she   grinned,   her   drunken   state   disrupting   any   control   over   her   own   mood.   her   dried   tears   an   almost   erased   hint   about   her   rather   embarrassing   emotional   break   down   seconds   ago.   “   you’re   kind   .”   she   halted,   as   if   her   thoughts   still   waited   to   be   threaded   onto   the   string.   she   wanted   to   say   something   thoughtful,   expressing   her   gratitude   to   a   stranger   that   was   willing   to   listen.   yet,   nothing   but   only   sheer   nonsense   would   leave   her   mouth.   “   the   kindest   masked   person   i’ve   ever   met   in   my   life.   ”   vika   declared,   acting   as   if   her   words   could   be   found   in   a   poem.   but   her   pride   quickly   dissolved   into   the   regret   that   washed   over   her   as   she   was   turning   to   the   stranger   again.   “   unlike   me.”   she   confessed,   a   miniscule   detail   such   as   the   colour   of   the   stranger’s   hair   suddenly   having   reminded   her   of   a   past   argument   she   had.  

“  though   i   don’t   believe   it’s   a   ruse,   he’s   too   much   of   a   fool   for   that.  ”  she   added.   “   let   me   tell   you   a   secret,   i   think   there’s   someone   else   behind   this,   at   least   that’s   what   people   say.   ”

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                             𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫       @sodaparticles​         ( 𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐚 )

                          一一      *        𝒕𝒉𝒆   𝒍𝒊𝒒𝒖𝒐𝒓   𝒉𝒂𝒅   𝒂𝒏   𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈   𝒆𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕   𝒐𝒏   𝒉𝒆𝒓,   memories   flooding   back   into   her   mind   like   waves   crashing   onto   shore,   the   walls   she’d   built   around   her   heart   dissolving   like   thin  ice   beneath   the   sun.   her   shaking   legs   forced   her   outside,   her   dress   suddenly   heavy   from      the   thoughts   her   mind   carried   as   she   finally   plopped   down   on   the   hard,   dirty   ground,   drawing   her   knees   and   dropping   her   head   into   her   arms.   “   this   masquerade   ball   is   a   joke.”   vika   mumbled   “   a   cruel   joke.   "   she   heaved   a   shaky   sigh,   hopeless   tears   burning   her   eyes   threatening   to   spill   onto   her   cheeks.   she   reminded   herself   that   she   was   overreacting,   just   old   wounds   splitting   open   one   by   one,   still,   she   felt   horrible.   一   about   the   ravkan   king      shrugging   off   the   lives   of   many   like   dust   on   his   expensive   garment.   about   her   attending   the   ball   when   she   shouldn’t.   about   how   her   friend   was   supposed   to   be   here   and   not   her.   and   yet   she   was   almost   sobbing   like   a   fool,   realizing   a   little   too   late   that   she   wasn’t   alone.   

“   i   assume   you’d   also   prefer   to   be   somewhere   else   ?   so   what   brings   you   here   ?   ”   vika   turned   to   the   other,   wiping   her   tears   off   her   face,   her   blurry   vision   preventing   her   to   recognize   their   face.   “   i’m   sorry,   i   didn’t   mean   to   bother   you,   i’m   just   having   a   bad   day   and   it   seems   like   i’m   not   the   only   one.   it’   just   ...   一”   she   swallowed   “   well,   bad   memories.”   a   bitter   laugh   escaped   her   throat,   masking   over   a   short   glimpse   of   her   vulnerabilty.   “   still,   i   can’t   believe   that   fool   is   throwing   a   party...   seems   like   he’s   celebrating   death   ...   or   am   i   being   dramatic,   again   ?　”

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sad😔 to say we have a new taken faceclaim😔 our ravkan king is now played by jeffrey preston bezos our real life overlord

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𝐣𝐢𝐚 ​ !

the one thing jia didn’t like about masquerades, is that some people became too confident. masks didn’t entirely cover up faces, but their egos did not seem to care. she leaned against a column, her rolling her eyes as a young grisha tried to swoon her with his abilities. she was used to this kind of attention back in life in shu-han, but here, jia felt like she deserved more. “as interesting as that offer is…” jia murmured politely, just as a handmaiden would (even though she wanted to kick him), “i am actually…” her eyes fell to the nearest person. in no time at all, she linked their arms together. “in attendance with them, so i’ll have to decline your offer.” her eyes shot to the person besides her, wondering if they could back her up or not. even if they didn’t, jia could always make a break for it and hope to get lost in the crowds of people. 

                 一   *      𝒊𝒇   𝒗𝒊𝒌𝒂   𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏’𝒕   𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌   𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇-𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔   ,   she’d   have   noticed   that   the   grisha   was   hauntingly   similar   to   her   in   the   way   they   tried   to   impress   the   other   by   showing   off   their   skills.   yet,   that   reminder   didn’t   faze   her,   truth   to   be   told,   it   did   not   even   reach   her   and   instead   she   stood   there   watching   the   scene   in   sheer   amusement   as   she   was   giggling   at   her   reflection   incarnated   in   the   form   of   a   grisha.   and   she’d   have   continued   if   karma   didn’t   catch,   not   even   granting   her   a   second   to   flee   from   that   unfortunate   rumpus.  

“   i   am   ?   ”   she   coughed,   choking   on   the   liquor   she’d   just   lazily   sipped   from   a   sparkling   crystal   glass   moments   ago,   looking   as   stunned   as   the   grisha.   “   i   mean   of   course   i   am.   ”   she   grinned,   collecting   herself   as   well   as   another   thought   that   she’d   lost   in   surprise.   “   so   how   much   are   you   willing   to   pay   me   for   this   ?   ”   she   turned   to   the   girl,   talking   in   whispers.   “   depending   on   the   money,   i   might   also   ‘accidentally’   spill   some   liquor   at   him.   or   maybe   you   fancy   a   new   hair   colour,   i   promise   you   he   won’t   bother   you   for   the   rest   of   the   night   then.   and   don’t   worry   it   won’t   hurt."

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      “ 𝐈𝐭    𝐢𝐬    𝐚    𝐣𝐨𝐲    𝐭𝐨    𝐛𝐞    𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧,    𝐚𝐧𝐝    𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫    𝐧𝐨𝐭    𝐭𝐨    𝐛𝐞    𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. ”

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Kristine Froseth in Apostle (2018)

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𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐚 ​ !

aloysha couldn’t help but roll his eyes, trying not to let her words get to him. it was hard, because there was something about vika and how she just knew exactly how to get under his skin. it could have been a talent, really. a super, super annoying talent. he didn’t usually get angry– he’d rather go for a cynical or snarky comment. but her words just struck a nerve with him.

he knew what it looked like to the others, that he didn’t want to help or care for their fallen. but he didn’t care what they thought, especially when he knew that this is exactly what it looked like when he cared. he backed off, tended to his own thoughts like he always did when something traumatic happened. he mourned his own way. he wasn’t abandoning anyone, he just took time being alone like everyone else wanted to. the difference was, he actually was taking time to himself.

within a second he was standing, suddenly inches taller than her rather than her looking down at him. there was fire in his eyes, no pun intended, and his voice was no more a mock but like subdued thunder, rumbling as he spoke. “you don’t know a thing about me, what it looks like when i care or don’t care,” he said, then took a breath and attempted to calm himself. it did not one bit of good for himself, vika, or anyone else if this broke out into a fully fledged fight. “did you come here for a purpose, or did you just want to taunt me about things you know nothing about?”

                                    一   *   𝒉𝒆𝒓   𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔   𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆   𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒑   𝒅𝒂𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒔, ,   mercilessly;      一   erratically      aiming   for   his   conscience.   any   fraction   of   pity   she   could   feel   for   him,   blunted   by   spite.   “   i   don’t   know   you,   huh   ?   so   why   are   you   getting   upset   then   ?”   her   eyes   regarded   him   with   bleak   hatred,   an   ugly   emotion   even   vika   couldn’t   disguise   一   turn   into   something   pretty.   “   i   see   through   your   façade,   aloyasha.”   she   hissed,   meeting   his   gaze   (   ignoring   how   much   it   bothered   her   that   he   was   now   standing   taller   than   her   )   “   you   can’t   hide   behind   your   friends   anymore,   they’re   dead.   get   over   it.   "   she   halted,   making   sure   every   word   coming   through   gritted   teeth   would   reach   him.   "   一   well,   don’t   dwell   on   it   too   much,   i’m   sure   someone   like   you   can   easily   replaced   these   people   you   called   friends.”         vika   had   surpassed   the   point   where   she’d   care,   long   ago.   trivialities   or   scorching   words,   no   matter   how   ruthless,   any   reaction   from   him   could   barely   satisfy   her   anger.      

purpose   ?   maybe   every   accusation   she   threw   at   him   carried   a   tiny   pierce   of   purpose.   maybe   she   just   needed   someone   to   be   angry   at.   or   maybe   she   just   needed   to   remind   herself   that   she   wasn’t   like   him.   reminding   herself   that   her   reaction   back   then   was   the   right   one,   that   she   stood   above   him,   一      despite   everything,   despite   the   shared      pain   of   losing   a   friend.  

“   i   might   have   come   to   throw   you   into   the   river.   maybe   then   you’lll   come   back   to   your   senses,   ”   childish   threats   followed   after   she   ran   out   of   daggers   to   throw.   she   could   stop.   even   now   as   he   fnally   appeared   to   be   at   least   affected   by   her   words.   she   was   aiming   to   achieve,   well,   nothing.   a   path   without   an   aim;      yet   as   he   was   standing,   she   could   easily   make   him   lose   his   balance.   “   or   at   least   get   rid   of   the   reek   of   a   smelly   and   egocentric   little   child. ”

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ekaterina​ !

*          𝙲𝙻𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙳     𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁          :          @maskved​     .

𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎     𝚊𝚕𝚕     𝚝𝚑𝚎     𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎     𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢     𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢     𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎     ,     there’s     something     REMARKABLY     soothing     about     vika’s     presence     .     the     nights     may     be     cool     ,     but     𝐡𝐨𝐭     𝐭𝐞𝐚     is     a     saintsend     between     their     palms     and     mellifluous     laughter     warms     the     tailors’     quarters     .          ❝          do     you     reckon     he’d     make     a     good     frog          ?          or     maybe     some     UGLY     bird     .          ❞          (          it’s     likely     treason     ,     the     way     they     gossip     about     hypothetical     rebellion     against     the     darkling     ,     but     it     passes     the     time     .          )          ❝          we     could     always     give     him     warts     ,     if     all     𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎     fails     .     he     wouldn’t     be     half     as     arrogant     if     he     was     covered     in     them     ,     would     he          ?          ❞

                             一 *      𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔   𝒐𝒇   𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚   𝒂𝒓𝒆   𝒄𝒖𝒕   𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒕   by   jovial   laughter,   careless   conversations   exchanged   by   two   tailors   enduring   the   same   fate.   yet,   despite   of   all   that,   the   harshness   of   their   reality,   the   stifling   fatigue   after   every   lesson,   the   crushing   weight   of   the   past   events,   she   feels   light.   一   exempt   from   any   worries,   painful   memories   dissolved   into   a   puddle   of   frivolity.

   “   oh   dear,   he   certainly   would.   a   frog   is   definitely   more   handsome   than   he   is.”   vika   giggled,   her   body   trembling   with   giddily   amusement,   almost   knocking   over   the   hot   tea   in   ivory   cups   .   “   i’m   glad   i’m   not   the   only   one   who   thought   of   turning   him   into   a   frog,   when   he   was   lecturing   us   acting   all   slick   and   mighty.   ”   regardless   of   their   seemingly   foolish   talk   she   cherished   these   moments   with   katya,   after   all   they   were   the   only   one   in   the   world   who   carried   the   same   burden   she   was.   一   and   sharing   it   always   made   it   seem   a   little   less   lonely.   “   we   should   do   that   next   time   he’s   supposed   to   meet   the   king.   he’d   probably   use   his   shadow   magic   for   good   and   darken   the   room   so   no   one   dares   to   catch   a   glimpse   of   him   ”   a   dramatic   hand   gestured   followed   her   words.   “   perhaps   we   should   start   practicing,   why   don’t   you   volunteer   and   i’ll   try   to   turn   you   into   a   frog   first.   don’t   worry,   your   beauty   will   certainly   make   you   a   pretty   frog.   ”   she   grinned,   drawing   near   her   to   examine   katya’s   dainty   features.

[maskved]

alyosha !​

if aloysha could have groaned loudly through every word vika said every time she opened her mouth, he would have. or maybe barked at her every time she approached. no, that would be rude. well, he wasn’t exactly known for being nice….

alo shook his head, ridding himself of the thoughts. he couldn’t fantasize about ways he could fend off this tailor. he actually had to fend her off in real time now.

without thinking, he rolled his eyes and turned toward her. he shot the small fireball in her direction, just missing her foot as it dispersed into little embers onto the pavilion ground next to her. he knew it wouldn’t hit her— he’d gotten much better at his aim since being at the little palace.

“and what exactly are you doing?” he inquired, looking up at her. “tailoring scars away? that may make someone look prettier, but it doesn’t help the pain.” he mocked, turning back toward the lake. maybe he could ignore her presence. then again when it came to vika, that was easier said than done.

whether the small fireball was intended to miss her or not, vika could already feel her blood boiling, rage fueling her movements as she stepped towards him. truth to be told, some part of her hoped that he tinniest spark of fire didn’t miss her, then she could’ve found a reason to report him to someone, without even having to do something. however, him just revealing her own thoughts could barely be described as suitable for punishment.

perhaps she should just kicking him into the lake. the sight of alyosha drowning in the lake, surely would have made a pleasant sight. an inferni killed by water would be too much of a  cliché, a funny one though.  “ at least i’m doing something.” she spat. as foolish as it sounded, him reminding her of her futility gave her back her confidence. she was right, yes, she was at least doing something despite of not being equipped with the best ability for their situation. alyosha, however, he seemed to have chosen to be of no use. “  i don’t know what exactly you’re thinking but all i see is a coward, hiding from his responsibilities.” she shrugged, suppressing a grin twitching on her lips. vika needed to appear serious 一 not like a little child picking a fight with, well, another child. “ what does it feel like to turn your back on people who need you ? you know at least you can pretend that you care. you don’t even seem to care about the death of your inferni comrades.” 

[maskved]

alyosha​ !

WITH THE AFTERMATH OF THE ATTACK looming over everyone in the little palace, alo found he needed to go somewhere and be away from all of the worrying and hectic-ness. he understood the need for some to want to keep busy, train and take precaution and heal to the wounded, but all aloysha wanted to do was have some peace and quiet. the little palace was bustling with movement at that very moment, as he sat on the step-up to the pavilion. he faced the lake, watching the sun reflect off of the rippling waves and glinting off of the surface.

of course, he wasn’t heartless. he mourned their lost grisha in his own way, on his own terms. it only angered him, the way their lives seemed so…. fragile. how could whatever was forming in the fold dispose of (there was no kinder way to put it) the people he grew to know? the grisha he grew to know. they were supposed to be powerful, some immortal. now, the people he dined with as he  listened to their laughter, the ones he passed in the halls of the palace, or even the ones he wasn’t too fond of. gone, as if it meant nothing. his chest somehow felt hollow, like his ribs weren’t protecting any heart at all.

aloysha tossed a pathetically small light of fire between his fingers carelessly. he was sure he looked pathetic or unamenable, staying away from everyone else who wanted to do nothing but help those who were hurting. that was the last thing he wanted to do, truth be told. he was sure his attempts at trying to, god forbid, lighten the mood would fail and be quite embarrassing on his part. so, he did everyone a favor and stuck to himself outside.

it would be a lie to say that her pride didn’t take a good beating from watching all the others ( whether grisha or non-grisha ) play their part. it was as if she didn’t belong  一 and even when some people would ask her to erase a bruise here or there, in the end she wasn’t the one who’d taken away their pain. the futility of her position wasn’t something she wanted to be reminded of. after all she was supposed to be special. at least that’s what the darkling told her. yet, pushing these thoughts away turned out to be impossible when she was just 一 there. standing around stupidly, like a child waiting for her mother to  take her home.

perhaps that is why she decided to step away from the chaos. allowing herself a brief moment of normality before she’d return to doing whatever she was supposed to do. but she couldn’t even relish a fracture of piece when she spotted a familiar face, appearing to be of even greater uselessness when she was. “ performing some inferni tricks, seems to be more important to you. ” the casual gesture didn’t match her hostile tone. vika rarely was angry ( or at least she didn’t usually show it ), yet whenever she’d even breath the same air as aloysha, she couldn’t help but feel annoyed.   “ but i guess protecting others besides your inferni comrades seems like too much of a hassle for you.”