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Starting Midnight Sun now...

Alright Eddy lemme see that mental illness.

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Do we think Beaufort Swan counts as a pathetic man in literature? (52 pages in and I think he might be a contender)

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Bella what do you mean by 'all the Egyptian vampires looked the same'?

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Watching Breaking Dawn Part 1 rn...

I think that if Edward and Jacob weren't so shit at CPR, it wouldn't have had to be a such close call.

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Bella trying to do the nasty with Edward right after she wakes up... against the operating table she died on... in front of her entire family...

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Bella: "So... beautiful."

Resume: "Ma-ma"

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Jacob my babygorl if I could reach through the pages and save you from Resume 'Root of all Evil' Cullen, I would, you didn't deserve this... Like I'm still gonna clown on you for preordering your imprintee, but this is just sad...

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"But there was nothing there, just me, just him ... Working over a corpse."

WHAT I CNAT JAVOB WHY WOULD YO USAY THAT

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When Edward pulled Resume out of Bella I half expected her to rise from the dead upset it wasn't a boy...

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SHE FUCKING BROKE IN HALF-

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Jacob for real trying to imprint on ANOTHER brunette monsterfucker girl thinking this time's gonna be different... 🐺🐺🐺

"God, I'm ready... send me another one..." 🧎‍♂️

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Seth having breakfast with the Cullens is like an oasis in the awful, awful outlook I have for the rest of this book. 🐺🥞🥚😋

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"You know how to drown a blonde, Rosalie?" ... "Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

What you're NOT gonna do, Stephanie, is have my buddy Jacob participate in your blonde smear campaign. 😡

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Edward asking Jacob to have kids with Bella in his stead was NOT on my bingo card...

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If Bella knew Resume was gonna be a girl she'd hit that eject button SO QUICK, book over.

👶👶👶

Twilight fandom should've pushed harder to headcanon demon baby as a blonde so Stephanie would scrap the idea altogether.

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"...I'm not here to ruin your wedding, Bella. I'm here to" ... "to make it perfect."

JACOOOOOOBBBBBB 🐺🐺🐺

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Edward ur so stupid, Bella had freaky time with the equivalent of the fountain at Ceasar's Palace Las Vegas ofc she's gonna have some bruising. 🗿