maybe-i-will-date-everything

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Parker Bradley/Sophia (Date Everything!) Characters: Parker Bradley (Date Everything!), Sophia (Date Everything!), Monique (Date Everything!) Additional Tags: Reunions, Another Queen's Pawn fic another 'Parker and Sophia are just shamlessly into each other', Fluff, Bittersweet, It's pure fluff if you don't think about how Parker is considered legally dead in North America, Mentions of overdosing, No one actually does it but. y'know, Chance Connie and Zoey all get briefly mentioned, Post-Realization, Spoilers for Parker Sophia and Monique's Endings Summary:

Another night of spending too much on TCG cards means that there's another night where for the next week or so Parker's just eating dollar-a-slice pizza from Monique.

It's just that there's an interesting spin tonight of all nights that has him down on his knees begging for a second chance at something he never really lost in the first place.

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

Hey folks who ship Parker and Chance, I do have one question for you:

What's the agreed upon ship name you have for them? Also, why isn't it Yahtzee?

Yahtzee's literally perfect. Come on, man.

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

Loose thought (based on an actual habit I've picked up after playing DE):

You know when you bump into something and take 0 HP damage, but still say 'ow'? Do you think when that happens their gut reaction is a 'sorry?'

Like, the same way you would if you bumped into a person. Someone hip-checks a doorknob and you just hear 'oh sorry man', like it'd be rude if they didn't say something.

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

To people who know more than me,

I've decided to crack down on the achievements, because I'm one of those freaks, and I'm going for Hate Everything first of the three 'ending' achievements to rip it off like a bandaid, but I do not know how Beau and Rongomaiwhenua fit in to it

Because I know that you lock out of Rongomaiwhenua if you get Beau to hate you, but I don't think you can backpedal into getting her to hate you after her quest is done

Largely what I'm asking is if anyone knows whether or not Rongomaiwhenua counts for the achievement at all, and if she does, what exactly needs to be done for it

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

So I have not played Date Everything, but I DO have a definitive favorite thing about it, and that is the fact that with such a large and diverse cast (which is incredible on its own) so many people encounter characters that look and/or act SCARILY similar to people they know. Every time somebody makes a TikTok about it there are five thousand more people in the comments listing their experiences with it in the comments

And I scroll to the bottom. Every. Fucking. Time. I EAT THIS SHIT UP.

Here are my current findings:

• Everybody has an ex that is exactly like Hector, Chance, or Mac

• Dorian, Tony, Abel, and Teddy look like people's dads or friends of their dads. Additionally, Hector shares a name with several people's dads

• On the flip side, Wyndolyn, Celia, and Zoey remind several people of their moms

• The Hanks can be anybody. I've seen exes, but also uncles, cousins, roommates, brothers– fucking anybody. Hank #3 is the most common one to get singled out for this

• Dirk, Harper, and Fantina tend to get the ex association as well, but those are usually more personality than appearance based

• Sophia shares a name with several people's sisters, making her encounter horrifically awkward

• Several people with weird, distant familial connections to Elvis or Johnny Cash say interacting with Johnny Splash has been an interesting experience

• Somebody also said that Jean Loo reminded them of their dad. This isn't like a common occurrence, I just wanted to say sorry to that person in particular

If YOU have played Date Everything and found that one of the datables is frighteningly similar to somebody in your life PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reblog this and share with the class. I want to collect more data 🙏

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

hi everyone I am BACK on my bullshit today I have finally finished this 9k word EVENT about none other than Sophia/Parker. Yes that's right! I finally wrote something that isn't x MC ⭐️✨

Me and the absolutely fantastic @/maybe-i-will-date-everything AKA chexie worked together to make this very fun but also very loving fic about these two. In this fic, Parker and Sophia play poker together but things take a turn when he suggests they play strip poker instead. It's very funny and very sexy, if you like lighthearted smut where both characters are super shamelessly into each other you need to read this.

So, yeah! Check it out ˚˖𓍢ִ໋`🌿:✧˚!

AO3 LINK:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/67322038/chapters/173917615#workskin

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

after fighting through the perils of things like 'having a real job' and 'waiting for a patch to drop so I could overcome Date Everything's final bosses (read: Bev and Arma)' I've touched base with the good ending of Date Everything

Yeah I have normal emotions about it, be nice to me

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Timothy Timepiece | Timmy/Luke Nukem Characters: Luke Nukem, Timothy Timepiece Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Actually Beta’d this time, Luke Nukem-Typical Everything, Human!Luke Nukem, Implied/Referenced Violence, not against eachother but against The Swarmers, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Timmy Reveal fic, Mutant!Timothy Timepeice | Timmy, Oneshot Summary:

In the apocalypse, things are rough. At least Luke has an odd mutant named Timothy to rely on now and again, always punctual and reliable. A breach in the defenses however left Luke worried.

Surely, checking on Timothy isn’t a bad idea. Right?

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

Date Everything and everything’s the same except the Hanks are a foosball table send tweet

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

On one hand I think it’d be funny to make a game out of the fact that I keep clarifying that I like everyone (except that one)- maybe the first person to pin down who ‘that one’ is gets a nice treat. Prioritized writing request or some shit.

On the other I think it might be equally funny if we just keep the pretence that ‘Chexie loves everyone (except that one)’ until someone strikes the nerve by accident. Because genuinely! Genuinely there’s only one Dateable I fully, fully dislike.

I dunno. I guess we’ll just see how it shakes out. If someone comes up to me assuming they cracked the code and they did, nice treat for them. If not we simply laugh about it for forever. Whichever comes first.

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

Nim. Nim please write the Stefan headcanons. Hands and knees begging. Also please tag me in them when you do, thank.

~ Chexie from that one Date Everything blog

Ask and you shall recieve!

Date Everything || Stefan Headcanons SFW

Stefan is a great cook but also surprisingly is a great teacher too! I imagine the MC was a god awful cook since they rarely used their stove if ever before meeting the dateables, but the fact MC still made an active effort to try and learn to cook from Stefan makes the hearth in his stove heart brim with love and respect.

Has a cook book filled of his moms old recipes that he uses frequently when he's missing home.

Big on safety in the kitchen! Farya is on standby constantly incase of emergencys. Is very gentle with the MC when they're hurt and has em out the kitchen resting if it's worse than a small or a small burn.

Quality time and acts of service are a BIG part of his love language, just the thought of being able to cook something warm and hearty gets him all flustered cause he's not only cooking for himself! He's also cooking for AND with the love of his life.

When you're sick, he has a dedicated soup he makes he swears up and down works better than medicine (It doesn't but it is VERY tasty and helps with a sore throat and congestion) and makes it for the MC every time they're sick. He spoon feeds them if they're too weak to do it themselves, he's a bit of a mother hen and is actually a really good caretaker.

Has a big family with a variety of different ovens across the world and grills as cousins! Has a picture of his family hung up on the wall

I can see him wanting to have a big family, he's always wanted to be able to cook and provide for his own one day and with MC he's hoping it might come true one day! Though if it doesn't he won't complain, as long as he has them by his side he wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Gets you your own hat similar to his! He says so it doesn't get hair in the food but the quality of it and the fact he went out of his way to get you a matching one to his speaks for itself lol

Candle lit dinners are his favorite kinda dates, not only are you guys cooking together for this wonderful meal but he gets to see you lookin' hotter than the heat in the kitchen on a Friday rush when it's time to eat too?? Sign. Him. UP.

Speaking of dates, he actually really cleans up rather well! Give him a hot shower, a nice tux/suit/vest, the good cologne, perhaps a bouquet of your favorite flowers and that winning smile of his? Oh BOY are you in for a treat buddy. Surprisingly is a real big gentleman with you on dates, opens doors for you, pulls your seat out for you, even kisses your hand when you give it to him. (He got that idea from Cabrizzio, he's trying real hard to be a romantic sort with you pls compliment him on this he hasn't done this thing before in AWHILE)

I feel like if the majority of the cooking falls on him for a dinner date for the two of you because you have work, trust he's busting his ass off to be a show off by making your favorite meals. He wants to be able to take care of you and show his love for you in the only way he truly knows and that's by cooking! Wants you to relax when you come back and is eager to see his hardwork pay off when he sees that look of satisfaction and smile from the first bite.

Tag: @maybe-i-will-date-everything

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

So @grainsil0 decided to enable me and asked for my Stefan thoughts (also I blab about the protagonist for a bit they didn't ask for that I just kinda did ANYWAY)

Ask and ye shall receive:

I love Stefan, I find Stefan to be one of the most underrated Dateables in the game, because I've heard literally NO ONE talk about him yet. Is it because he doesn't give a good first impression (if you're a coward anyway)? Whatever. Point is, I get where Stefan's coming from. Partly because, yeah, sharing a kitchen with literally anyone is annoying as shit, I get it.

…I was gonna cross reference some gameplay footage of his route to check if there was something important I forgot but THERE'S NO GAMEPLAY I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES

Anyway, I also really enjoy what he represents in regards to the protagonist. Because, while this may be up to interpretation, I find the protagonist's most defining trait to be that they have some form of depression, and I believe their relationship with food is one of the biggest contributors (also the lack of clean clothes in the closet the large amount of unread books the fact that the narration says that they've literally never used their stove, the unchanged batteries in the smoke alarm, the excuses to invite people over without actually doing in- hi my essay on the protagonist out never)

But then after getting to know them, he offers to make them a meal. A good one. Like, personally I ended up with the Beef Wellington, which isn't like. An easy thing to make. And yeah, that shows that Stefan is a talented chef, but we knew that. It also shows he cares though. Then, he offers to get you to cook with him, something that's obviously a big deal since a chunk of his route is Friar Errol and Luke getting under his skin for being Worse At It.

It's a small. but important gesture from Stefan, but it's also a step that he makes the player character want to try cooking. They're getting better, slowly, surely, but they're doing it.

…Also the mental image of Stefan tossing a plate of sushi like a Frisbee directly into Cam's skull is single-handedly one of the funniest thoughts the game has given me.

Although when i tell you I fucking screamed in anguish when I realized that he wasn't actually Miranda's dad. Like. I'm inconsolable about it. I'm a simple lady with simple tastes and I'll be real, the lack of dilfs is palpable. My option, SINGULAR, is Mikey Transaction. It's dire.

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

diva what are your thoughts on prissy

I freaking love Prissy!!

I mean like, I kinda loved her design from the start right (not that that's like, particularly outstanding, I've joked about 'making out with the character designers' enough with my friends to know I think DE's character design is GOATed but Prissy is for sure a standout) but for some reason there was a really long time when I looked at her plant, knew she was there and was like 'yeah I'll get to her eventually'

And then this lil fella named Vines came into my bubble and I got the impression that Prissy was someone they super big liked and went 'yeah I trust their judgment'

And I DO trust your judgment, Prissy's a delight. Her story is short but genuinely very sweet, like, I wanted more than anything to help her be a real plant even if it sounded bizarre. But, then, everything here's bizarre, this kinda feels like a drop in the bucket. Maybe there's something to extrapolate there, something something putting genuine love and effort into something can absolutely make something beautiful even if it seems difficult or impossible from the outset. I dunno, is that anything?

But it also certainly doesn't hurt that she offers one of the most heartwarming rewards for completing her story. Though, I mean, basically any Dateable that makes your house feel less sad and lonely gives me those warm fuzzies inside (Shoutout Artt, this is also a big Artt point)

Honestly though you're right, Attic gang really is where it's at

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

just read through the stuff in your masterlist and they were fantastic! love the way you write Parker :)

if you’d like, feel free to ramble a bit about a Date Everything character you’ve been thinking about!

Hehe, thank you. I've been mastering the board game boy, it's my greatest asset at the moment.

ohhh just to go on about one person, that's a toughie. We're actually gonna do a quick bullet round with a handful instead because I'm a tryhard and also indecisive. So boom, quick five (six?) person round of Chexie's hottakes. Spoilers for Daemon, Cabrizzio, Eddie and Volt, Winnifred and Barry's routes below!

- Daemon

Daemon is genuinely such a fascinating little oddball to me. Every time I think I'm gonna go 'mm, conceptually I think this is a character I'll be lukewarm on' I end up pleasantly surprised. Daemon's presence as both bug that is slowly destroying your interactions and artifacted identity as a scrapped character is so so damn interesting, and they're presence alone makes me feel the same 'something is so terribly wrong' feeling I get with Nightmare (this is a good thing on both occasions!) I almost feel bad that she's so easy to realize, even though it'll probably make my dresser not look annoying anymore, like almost everything else in my house his presence is...

Well comforting isn't the word I suppose, but I'll miss it when they're gone. 

- Cabrizzio 

Cabrizzio is the main reason I'm scared to put the objects on a tier list. I am completely serious. 

Out of all the Dateable storylines I've finished so far (which is over 70! That's way more than I thought!) He's one of like. Literally 3 I've felt lukewarm about. Largely I think it's because the main twist of his plot- that it's all pulled from existing romance- is *fine*, but it feels like. I dunno. Maybe we needed another sitdown with him before we closed the cabinet, so to speak. Just give me a real, elbow deep date with him. I dunno. 

- Eddie and Volt

Eddie and Volt are only getting a mention because my personal history with them is funny. After about a week of playing I hadn't engaged with them at all- all I knew was that they were popular and that everyone kept getting their hate ending. So I decided, in my ambivalence, that I would get their love ending to prove I was a God Gamer. I did! (It helps that they really are good, complete with a compelling plot and all) And genuinely, I don't actually know how you would get the hate ending. Is it mentioning to Volt that you helped when Eddie explicitly tells you not to do that? Please don't tell me that's what people were tripping at, I'll be sad. 

- Winnifred

I love Winnifred so very deeply and I find her story to be one of my favourites. I think it's just, as a polyamous person, to see a plot about polyamory in a game be genuinely discussed instead of just being a hand-wavy excuse for a player to date multiple characters without anyone needing to have an uncomfortable conversation about it. She'd mean a lot to me because of that regardless, because feeling genuinely seen like that feels nice, but she herself is such a lovely woman on top of that, it's the extra cherry on top. Plus, she helped pull my attention to River, whose another story I just love to play through. 

- Barry Styles

I love Barry! Barry moves me to tears by just existing around me! I didn't think I'd care for him at all but God I've never been happier to be wrong. I want to hear him talk about makeup and toucans until his voice goes hoarse. 

Also I find him 'he lives in my skin' levels of relatable. However, I've never been to a doctor so I assume this is normal.

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

Oop I made the Date Everything Sideblog

Hi, I'm Chexie, you may know me from being 'that person who writes about Parker sometimes' and. Uh that's it so far.

But! Date Everything has a choke hold on me, and my fics have given me a reputation, I think?? So, for organization's sake, we made us a sideblog. Also so I can more shamlessly beg people to say words to me about Date Everything, that is part of it.

Gimme your takes! Ask for my takes! I have some, probably!

Also if you have anything you think I'd be able to write, or just want me to try, let me know! There's a non-zero chance I could make that happen for you!

Any writing I've put here or on Ao3 is put in this Masterlist, so please feel free to browse around while you're here <3

Hope we talk soon :)

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

please please please read domin8 by chexie on ao3 (their ship name is queen's pawn btw)

[maybe-i-will-date-everything]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Parker Bradley/Sophia (Date Everything!) Characters: Parker Bradley (Date Everything!), Sophia (Date Everything!) Additional Tags: Capitalizing on the existence of sex-adjacent board games, Implied Sexual Content, Fade to Black, Parker’s kind of a little shit (he will be destroyed immediately), BDSM mentioned, Duh Doy, and there’s a quick disscussion around consent and such. Because consent is the sexiest thing of all, No Betas we Die like Chappy