mayhiems

[mayhiems]

Lowkey gonna hurl if everything in Your Throne plays out the way I thought it would. 'cuz it'd be so PAINFUL.

Especially cuz Your Throne canon won't have canon Psydea to ease the pain for me (´༎ຶ▽༎ຶ`)

Dam it I knew I shouldn't have written those fics, now I have evidence that my dumbass brain was already asking for pain in canon :-:

[mayhiems]

Chapters: 8/9 Fandom: 하루만 네가 되고 싶어 | I Want to Be You Just For a Day (Webcomic), Your Throne Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Psyche Callista/Medea Solon, Psyche Callista & Medea Solon, Past Psyche Callista/Eros Orna Vasilios Characters: Psyche Callista, Medea Solon, Lyra | I want to be you just for a day, Herschel | I want to be you just for a day, Eros Orna Vasilios, Helio Niccolo, Perion Sov Vasilios Additional Tags: Psydea, Omegaverse, Omega Psyche, Alpha Medea, College AU, Student Council Vice-President Medea, former music prodigy Psyche, protective Lyra, ew Eros, disghorsting, almost but not quite smut eventually, student struggles, controlling parents, Sexual Harrassment, Implied Sexual Content, i dont actually know whats mild or not so if i missed any tags could y'all tell me, i dont wanna surprise anyone in a bad way, Veterinary medicine student Psyche, Business admin student Medea, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Mating Cycles/In Heat Summary:

Being an omega with unique needs already made Psyche's personal life difficult, suddenly being thrown into a different university and into a major she was completely clueless of, made life impossible. But Psyche was going to do her best to make the most of her new life. She just wished chemistry came easier to her... Chemistry the subject! Not chemistry with the amazing vice-president of the student council, Medea Solon, who was definitely, clearly, and obviously an alpha!

Or

Medea thought the transferee was interesting on paper, but she didn't expect the omega to be that interesting. She was hooked. Medea didn't know she could be hooked either.

[mayhiems]

Hmmm I kinda like the idea of SuperCorp

BUT I also kinda get why they wouldn't last or ya know seem toxic-ish.

People remember the part where Lena pretty much tortured Kara both physically and mentally with the kryptonite and lies and manipulation and all...

My problem is that people keep saying Lena did all that cuz she was mad about Kara not telling her about her Supergirl identity. It's Kara's decision to share that secret or to not share it, they got that right. Lena doesn't have the right to hound on Kara for that.

That's the thing tho.

That's not what Lena is hurt and angry about.

It's the fact that Kara acted and said she was Lena's friend as Kara Danvers, but then as Supergirl she pressures/threatens Lena for creating and being in possession of kryptonite, her action towards Sam/Reign, then gets James (Lena's bf and another trusted person. Do note that Lena has few people she trusts, cuz her power and capabilities and tech can be dangerous at a global scale when in the hands of less than friendly people) to trespass and disregard Lena's privacy by sneaking into her labs to check for kryptonite and steal if found (which is illegal btw).

Anyways, Supergirl treated Lena as a threat and pretty much like a fekin villain with that ^ stunt.

As a superhero and protector of National city that's okay. Understandable and pretty smart and practical. I can't fault that.

The things is, Supergirl is also Kara Danvers. Kara Danvers who is Lena's friend and trusted person. Kara Danvers who said she trusted Lena and supposedly knew how good Lena was.

Oooh. Imagine that: a human and very mortal being, burdened with resources, power, and intellect that she has to regulate, grow, and defend so that she could help the world instead of just making a quick buck. Surrounded by enemies both with superhuman powers and none. Government, media, common folk, aliens, family, business associates, and pretty much everyone save for like...two people (Jess and Sam (and Sam had her Reign problem)) are after Lena, watching like a hawk so they could take something from her. Her enemies don't just wait and watch for weakness they fukin attack and attempt to murder and steal from her all the time.

Lena can't relax and trust just anybody. Her life is literally on the line every time she opens up to someone. And not just HER life, her employees' lives, her company's, without exaggeration the world's, or even just National city's.

Every time Lena makes a mistake, the consequences are wew, huge. Pretty dam terrifying.

So when the people she trusts end up doubting her, and not just doubting. They downright distrust her, turn their backs to her, and actively try to take her down...how else do you expect her to act?

Knowing that her one fukin friend, Kara, betrayed her too (just like everyone in her entire fukin life) broke her heart. It cemented the idea that Lena has always tried to stop from overwhelming her, that she was by herself. That no one would side with her, support her, love her, care for her.

Lena is so fucking alone.

With that in her mind and in her heart, why would she continue fighting to better the world? You know...the world that fekin hates her and wants her dead.

Any normal person would lash out if given Lena's circumstances (I would've went on a vigilante murder spree, made it so the only way to stop me was to kill me cuz Lena and I have self destructive tendencies in common lol or just stop trying...it depends. Violence isn't the first thing on my mind when I'm mad. But getting rid of problems is, hence the vigilantism...with murder.). All I'm saying is that people shouldn't be so mean to Lena for being angry about the secret identity thing. Cuz it's not just about knowing Kara's secret identity.

It's about Kara and friends doing the same thing the Luthors did to Lena: lording over her, saying she's doing the wrong thing, and not listening to her. (Lena has had everyone telling her she's doing the wrong thing her entire life mannn. Why should she listen when the person she trusted to tell sht to her straight apparently can't do that?)

It's sad really.

Lena is a doer, a problem solver, her way of thinking is honed to be practical and efficient. It's how Non-nocere pretty much became an option.

Even if Lena is good and kind, her calculating mindset and disillusioned/hopeless grieving heart made it easier to pick the practical choice.

A few more talks and a couple more support, and nonnocere could've become something less than mind control and more like uhhh law enforcement in your head hnnn.

I digress.

Anyways, I just wrote this cuz I feel bad for Lena's character.

Honestly kinda irked by Kara's problem with her friend having kryptonite. If Lena was a stranger to Supergirl then the doubting makes sense...but Kara isn't a stranger. She's her friend.

I think of it like how I always have a knife on my person. The knife is a precaution against people...but when someone attacks me, I wouldn't immediately reach for the knife, knife would be last resort.

My friends know I have a knife but they trust I wouldn't stab them with it, so they're cool with me having it. Why be afraid to get stabbed if you haven't done anything to get stabbed?

Kara let her fear and ego get the better of her that time...makes sense why Lena went 'oh you think I'll betray you? Okay okay finee. Lemme do exactly what you expected of me. Happy now?'

Asshole move but eh trauma response.

I mean, Kara gave Lena hope. Hope for friends, allies, , trust, support, care, and love. But Kara was the one to let her down first. Lena will never be able to trust Kara or anybody anymore. She can protect them, love them, befriend them, but in the back of her mind, Lena will never be able to silence the thought that she's alone (tho the whole point of the show is being stronger together and they're meant to forgive each oyher and all, I stand by it.)

Well, both Kara and Lena would have that nagging voice in the back of their heads, hence the ending lelelelel.

Anyways, Lena was venting, maybe it's wrong and a tad cruel, but she has a right to vent too (I bet she can't trust therapists either so like) The main reason it's such a problem is cuz Lena's such a prominent figure in their world that tantrums could be a global hazard. Then again everything she does is a hazard cuz she's just that brilliant so whats "petty" and whats "serious" can get kinda blurred.

At least she figured out that she didn't like not being good. Lena was more dark grey than villain tho. Her cruelty was focused on the people who actually hurt her and all.

Basically, Lena showed her "worst" to Kara so she could test whether Kara will really stay with her. (horribly manipulative? Maybe. But people do it all the time, they just don't do enough introspection to see it.)

It kinda makes sense they didn't become canon at the end...maybe a few more years of healing for them both cuz wew the stress that's on them.

This isn't to say people with trauma aren't meant to be in romantic relationships, just saying they need to be on a certain point so they wouldn't end up hurting more. Healing ain't linear anyways.

[mayhiems]

When I said please give me more Psydea content or I'll keep offering trash I meant it (੭ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )੭⁾⁾

Was doodlin cuz I forgot to sleep

I'm too scared to open my laptop to draw digitally cuz that means I gotta use the graphing tablet that I bought...like 2 years ago with money I saved for lab equipment...

So i bought a tablet for drawing...but I ended up using it more for classes and translations of languages i absolutely do not speak

BUT when I do need to draw digitally...I escape to my phone, but I recently made art for a class...and now even drawing on my phone is impossible ugh...

Anyways,

Ugh. If canon won't give me the kiss, I'l do it myself. And when my trauma passes and my dumbass can open a laptop without having my heart palpitate...y'all are gonna regret not giving me more Psydea content (つД<)･ﾟ｡

[mayhiems]

The illustrations for the endings of the Your Throne visual novel game (?) thingy sucker punched me

Psydea won't let me go gaddam it.

'Cuz of that tho I ended up on another forum and ugh. I'm glad I can't remember my passwords or usernames in them apps cuz oof.

Anyways friendly reminder,

Eros was a jerk from ep1 stop forgetting that please (of y'all like em red flags is cool, just don't say they aren't red flags when they clearly are),

Medea's change to more "masculine" clothes is cuz it's more comfortable and practical (have y'all worn corsets and those dam layered dresses?! Unless the place has airconditioning I ain't wearing that sht) +it's a good sign that she has power and can finally do what she wants,

Love isn't just about romantic feelings fam,

Psyche only got released into the world for four years...so she can't possibly interact perfectly when it comes to other people (look what 2 yrs of the pandemic and lockdown did tsk),

Helio pretty much thought Medea aiming for recognition for her very notable acts (like strategizing for the wars, winning over kingdoms thru her father, etc.) was pointless and not important (in simple terms he's saying plagiarism is fine, it's not) he also thinks Medea should just settle down (weyt spoilers I forgot it's not freely available yet),

Perion is a bit too radical with his justice (I mean suddenly getting in someone's moving carriage? Boi could've hurt innocent bystanders),

Dekis is a good boi. Yes he left Medea, but he tried to give her a way out too and unlike Helio he learns not to brush off Medea's goals and dreams (he even came back to help),

In short, Eros, Helio, and Perion are not lover/husband material (if we're talking about healthy relationships).

Dekis is the only dude you could get married to and actually be happy (again, only if we're talking about healthy relationships)

Psyche is also a green flag.

Dekis and Psyche are the only green flags.

Medea would be a good partner tho (like if she actually loves her counterpart), she's territorial and protective but not to the point she would get in her SO's way without talking it out first (basis and proof is her more recent interactions with Psyche) Medea would annhilate anyone who tries to harm or insult her lover tho so uhhhh

I cant tag properly :-; words and letters keep repeating when i press one key dam it ;-;

[mayhiems]

Hello Mayhiems, I read your post on your throne chapter 122 spoilers. I liked your POV and your explanation made me rethink about some stuff but that's not my point here. You said something that made me curious, about Eros having feelings for Psyche. Why do you think so? I am somebody who doesn't think that so I would really love to have your perspective on this. (you disabled the comment section so had to ask here)

Imma place my answer here too ahahah just for uniformity.

So hmm I said Eros has feelings for Psyche, but I wouldn't say it's "like" or the "love" we usually know. But it's the closest Eros could possibly feel.

Eros' feelings for Psyche is more like awe, like he's actually amazed by Psyche. He's fascinated and somewhat confused about Psyche's whole existence. I can say that because of his whole controlling obsession with Psyche.

Like I said before Eros has always threatened, chained, gaslit, and manipulated Psyche.

He wants Psyche to do everything he wishes. It's not just 'cuz of his plans for her divinity.

Keep in mind a person has more than one reason for any of their actions. It's 'cuz Eros recognizes that Psyche is completely different from him. He has a god-complex, right?

That's 'cuz he's smart, talented, and born into power (a royal). When he looks at the people around him he goes: "wow, these guys are so dumb and weak".

Because it's true, at least for most people.

But then there's Psyche. Kind, naive, gullible, physically weak Psyche. She's everything Eros considers useless and not worth noticing. But then he finds out about her divinity.

The first time they met when they were younger, Eros found out Psyche could hurt people with a mere thought. She had the power to hurt people in a way no normal human could stop. There's no blocking or stopping Psyche's divinity (at least none that we were shown yet). Psyche is basically an unstoppable force if she wanted to be. But she doesn't want to be.

That annoys/confuses/amazes and generally makes Eros get ??? in his head. 'Cuz he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand why someone with so much power doesn't use it to make her life easier.

'Cuz if it was him, he would use it and abuse it. Like how he uses his Imperial authority. He can't relate nor make sense of Psyche's kindness.

His abuse on Psyche is both to control her and to see if her kindness and forgiving nature has a limit. A part of him wants to be the one that pushes Psyche over the edge, he wants to prove that there's no place for compassion in the world. That the world is cruel and brutal and a place where the strongest rule and there's no place for the weak.

It's not 'cuz he feels guilt for being a cold-hearted prick.

No. SAM made it clear he doesn't feel guilt (and if you doubt people like that exist irl, then I'm here to assure you those people exist).

It's cuz he thinks that's how the world works. His pride and ego won't let him accept being wrong so he doesn't mind testing that on Psyche.

The problem is, Psyche keeps proving him wrong. Despite everything Psyche is still kind and forgiving and nonviolent. That bugs Eros.

Eros recognizes Psyche's mental and emotional strength, but he doesn't think she's using it right (the right way being his way and abusing people).

In short, Psyche is someone Eros can't forget about no matter how much he wants to. He wants her divinity 'cuz he says only he can make full use of it, BUT it's also 'cuz by taking her divinity he takes away the "something" that makes Psyche special.

Quotations on something 'cuz Psyche's divinity is the material and tangible special thing.

Kindness and compassion isn't tangible, it's not something that can be held and taken.

Eros wants to take that special thing of Psyche's to make her not-special. He thinks that by doing so he can ignore how she made him feel he was wrong. He wants her to be nothing again, just like all the other useless trash around him.

Does that make sense?

Medea's feelings for Psyche is pretty similar ahahahah.

The difference is that Medea saw Psyche's kindness and wanted it to stay, to be allowed to grow, and to spread to everyone. Medea wants the world to have more Psyches.

Eros though, he wants to destroy people like Psyche. He doesn't want Psyche to exist because she's something that challenges his beliefs. And he doesn't like being questioned. He believes he's absolute.

Psyche is basically radical love personified.

Medea knows love and has always wanted love. But Eros doesn't believe in love nor does he care for love. Hence, why he wants Psyche gone.

I'm actually VERY impressed with SAM's writing. So long as the readers keep in mind that Your Throne is about equality and female empowerment, it'll seem like a near perfect work.

Anyways, I hope I managed to get the thought across...but you can just ask if there's anything you're curious about/or if there's something I didn't say right. I'll respond whenever I can

(〃･ิ‿･ิ)ゞ

[mayhiems]

I hope we're wrong and they were right.

I really hope their trust in that liar, plunderer, and immoral, major polluter elitist proves well-founded in the upcoming years.

'Cause I'm priviliged enough to avoid most of the major problems of terrible governance, hell if I wanted to I could avoid it all together and live a dang easy life.

But ffs I stayed. I have no plans of ever leaving my country, my hometown, and my barangay, even for a mere 4 years to finish a degree in a University far away that I actually like.

I can't leave, because my people are here. It's my territory so if I leave who'll defend it, who'll defend them, the people I grew up with and have come to love? Who'll care enough to bring out the potential of our place and people, when the system has made it impossible for them to think about anything else other than surviving the day?

I always thought I would remain an observer, a mere audience, 'cuz when I was a kid I found it stupid how my parents and relatives kept being kind and helping out others when they themselves were struggling with their own work and duties.

Found it even stupider when later on, I found out the same people they helped were people who would harm us and others. That kind of betrayal sucked, cuz we didn't even expect anything back.

Dam it. Radikal na pagmamahal 'no?

It's so... painful.

I can't even say it's hard because the anger and frustration that I am still feeling and will probably keep feeling for a long long time is enough proof that I still love the people around me. That despite how illogical and unreasonable all of this is, I will still stay.

Loving is easy. Loving others is so easy for me. But in this way, loving myself becomes impossible.

I guess that's my whole issue. Maybe this is the world's way of telling me to be more selfish. The universe showed me the best of the best as options, but didn't give us the win. A test? A provocation, to forget about everything else, just focus on myself?

I can do indifference and apathy too, you know.

Yawa, I really really really hope that I'm wrong. I hope for once in my twenty years of existence, I misread a person's intentions.

Please let me be wrong.

[mayhiems]

I made two long posts about Your Throne...

BUT I AM STILL FUCKIN PISSED THAT SO MANY OF Y'ALL ARE DODGING THE FUCKIN POINT SAM IS LITERALLY SLAPPING US WITH.

Fukin hell. This is why I can't be in discussion forums or groups for Your Throne or any manwha in general. I'll end up taking hours writing paragraphs to help explain things and people would still insist on their views heavily influenced by internalized misogyny and religion. I'm only human I get tired, and I am so so so close to just completely giving up so yeah. I shouldn't be doing this even on the net but...

For the first time I saw an interesting webtoon/manwha that portrays two completely different women realistically, shows a healthy example of female friendship, normalizes women being sexually active and being comfortable with their sexuality, having main leads that actually target the real villain and not waste time pitting the female protagonists against each other.

It also isn't holding back with the villain, it shows the villain stooping as low as he probably should, unlike majority of the media everywhere that's too chicken and thinks murder is the peak of villainy.

Your Throne is refreshing in the sense that it's pretty straightforward.

Ep.1 then ep.2 and we already see Eros the Crown Prince is a piece of shit.

Not a single chapter in the entirety of the webtoon was Eros portrayed as a good guy. SO I DON'T FUCKIN GET HOW Y'ALL CAN OVERLOOK JUST HOW TERRIBLE HE IS.

Oh wait. No. I get it. I know why so many people can still think Eros has some good parts, but y'all would get mad if I said it directly. But come on. Think about it. Really really think about it.

Y'all hate on Medea or Psyche when they do something seemingly problematic but turn a blind eye to the most obvious demonstrations of toxicity in Eros and Helio.

And when some of y'all try to defend one of the women, you'll do it by bringing down the other, and not hmmm let's see, actually discussing the root of the problem?

Let's not be like that.

Think about it. Why is it that the first thing many of us thought when we saw this:

"Oh my god, Psyche slept with Eros, she isn't pure anymore!" or "WTF. Medea fucked Eros while she was in Psyche's body, she committed double rape!"

Why THE FUCK did I not see one, just a single fucking person raise:

"Mfker. Eros slept with Psyche when he had always been plotting her TORTURE and assassination."

OR at least,

"Did Psyche/Medea want this? She doesn't look happy. I hope Eros didn't scare her into having sex."

LIKE EROS HAS BEEN PORTRAYED TO THREATEN PSYCHE WITH HER FREEDOM EVERY TIME SHE TRIED TO DISAGREE WITH HIM FROM THE FIRST FUCKING CHAPTER!

Why is the first course of action always female blaming? Huh?

SAM placed that in the story because it would make us uncomfortable. But did y'all stop to think why it made us uncomfortable?

Why is it that y'all were quick to go "Oh Medea was a villainess back then, this is within character."

But nobody ever said

"Oh sht. Eros is an evil bastard that chains and jails their lover just cuz she wanted to communicate her refusal to meet with an ex-friend. He forced Psyche didn't he?"

With that said, why didn't most of y'all remember that Medea tried to reach out to Psyche during the Crown Princess competition winner announcement?

Y'all are so quick to remember the bad sht a female character does but overlook the good acts that were literally placed there so we would see the difference between the anti-hero protagonist and the fukin villain.

And they're so fukin obvious that if they were anymore obvious SAM would have to be spoonfeeding it to us.

Don't think that Your Throne is like most of the mainstream manwhas out there.

The author is trying to get us to open our eyes to the misogyny and injustice so clearly present in real life. And she's doing it in a not so in-your-face manner so that our prides and egos won't get in the way of our understanding.

My only issue with Your Throne is that Psydea won't be explicitly endgame. That's it.

And no. It's not cuz of the gay agenda. Not necessarily. The message it would send if they were endgame has so many fukin implications, for political, social, emotional, and psychological aspects.

I wish more people would understand.

Anyways, I am never going on Your Throne forums again. They highkey make me wanna off myself.

Also people keep going:

If it was you in Psyche's place and your friend fucked your lover, how would you feel?

Bch if my friend, hell, even if it was a fukin stranger in my body...if they were getting manipulated by my dangerous and powerful lover, and saying yes was the best way to avoid further manipulation and suffering, I would scream Go! Go, go, go!

I would never want someone to suffer more than they already are.

[mayhiems]

Part 2

Okay so Medea doesn't hate Psyche anymore, and she wants to support Psyche and do better by her.

Medea is so obviously gentle when dealing with Psyche compared to literally everyone else. That doesn't mean she would let Psyche get away with whatever she wants. Medea still confronts her

Uh...whoops. This doesn't seem very gentle.

But really, compared to how Medea talked to Pell and everyone else, she's gentle with Psyche. Medea can be straightforward with Psyche but she would find one way or another to soften her words. It could be a caress of Psyche's hair, or a change in wording, or a touch on her hand, whatever, Medea tries not to bring Psyche unnecessary pain.

Which brings me back to my original point:

Psyche would've been sad about Medea fucking Eros, but she wouldn't fault Medea for anything. She knows how Eros is.

If Medea had directly spoken about that Psyche would've just smiled sadly, teared up a little and went: "It's alright. You couldn't have refused even though you wanted to. He was always like that."

And Medea would have to exert a lot of effort not to throw a table or just go ahead and stab Eros repeatedly with a knife. 'Cuz that's just how much she hates seeing Psyche helpless.

Maybe this ain't canon or whatever, but it was made by the author to show the personality of her characters and well...Medea apparently hates it when Psyche is being messed with. She even hated it when she did it herself.

That is not the face of someone who wants to harm Psyche.

Anyways, Psyche already expected that Eros and Medea would've eventually banged.

Eros probably gets bored and horny when he's not out killing people, and hey, would you look at that! A pretty doll that I own and can fuck is right there!

If Medea in Psyche's body had refused Eros, Eros would've went: "Do you not love me anymore, Psyche? You don't want to touch your lover anymore? Are you having second thoughts about me? The basement..."

OKAY. FOOK OFF EROS YOU FUKIN MANIPULATOR. I made myself angry.

Anyways, Medea would've still ended up in bed with Eros. Psyche knows that.

Hell, I bet their first time happened something like dis:

Psyche: (as Eros puts his disgusting fekin hands on her body) What are you doing?

Eros: What lovers do. Don't refuse me, Psyche, you love me right?

Psyche: (young, slightly scared, and confused, thinking her savior does no wrong) O-okay. I love you.

Eros: (goes ahead and just do whatever the fuck he wants)

 👊( 　-᷅_-᷄)==👊)`-') Gawd I hate him so much.

UGH. ANYWAYS,

Medea was just doing what Psyche would've done. She was just trying to survive.

And although the idea Medea also did that to spite Psyche could be in character for Medea, the fact that Medea was also pissed with Eros for playing with her destroys that idea.

Medea isn't the type to deal 1k damage to the enemy but suffer 800, especially when she couldn't rub it in her enemy's face.

To do it for spite, would've meant Medea was planning to expose herself like: "Sht, Eros ur so stupid. You didn't even notice it was me in Psyche's body, even when we fukked u didn't notice. haha. U fukin moron."

No way Medea would do that though. Eros and Medea are the same in that they like to keep their cards close. Pretty good writing for characters considered as smart strategists.

Alright, so that's my take for reason no.1 why people hate that fekin panel.

Medea had "consent" from Psyche. Consent "wasn't" an issue with Psyche, cuz she didn't have a choice from the start anyways.

Why is consent in quotations? Because even though Psyche expects them to fuck and even if she wouldn't resent Medea when they did, Psyche did not verbally consent to it. Even if they had a mutual understanding, that's not consent, just acceptance. But the thing is Psyche has allowed Medea to do whatever as long as it was for her survival, and vice-versa. If body autonomy was the issue then it's just the same as Medea not getting mad at Psyche for breaking her legs, or when Psyche and Heli pretended to make out at the birthday banquet to escape capture (which led to a city wide rumor that affected Medea's reputation which was important to her). Medea didn't chide Psyche for any that because Psyche had no choice, it was her only way to survive.

Why is wasn't in quotations? At that time, Psyche didn't exactly think much for herself, it was mostly her submitting to Eros' whims, so she didn't think there was an option of saying no to Eros for anything. "Wasn't" because Psyche didn't know wtf consent was.

If anything, Psyche might've even felt bad that Medea had to sleep with Eros. At least later on when Psyche finally understood Eros didn't care for her.

And Medea would've been pissed if she found out Psyche thought like that. 'Cuz Eros was the one at fault, okay, okay?

It was actually pretty jarring when I found out people were saying Medea's character development went to sht,she was unreedemable, cuz of that disgusting scene, and that they pitied Psyche cuz her best friend was fukin toxic and she had no real allies.

Oh, just don't get me wrong Medea is toxic. She's pretty toxic but not for that reason, and not to Psyche.

Like, ugh, I was trying real hard not to put the dam pic but urgh, just to make it clear.

Those scratches on Eros? Not the sexy kind. Those are definitely barely disguised 'I-want-to-hurt-you' scratches.

Many say this whole Medea-in-Psyche's-body-fuckin-Eros part is unnecessary and just fanservice/kink fulfillmemt or some dumb sht. I disagree.

Do I hate this panel? Yes. Do I wish I never saw it? Yes. Did I feel the strong urge to drop Your Throne because of this? Yes.

The whole point of that scene was to drive into the readers' heads that Eros is a fukin villain.

I don't know how y'all saw that pic and went "Oh sht Medea, how could you?! You betrayed Psyche!" when y'all should've went "Eros get your disgusting hands off Psyche!"

I mean Eros literally tried to have Psyche tortured and killed, but then goes ahead and beds Psyche AND the first thing y'all attack is Medea and her morality.

When I saw the spoilers first I thought it happened either the night before the assassination attempt or after. And my friend and I thought it was gross of Eros to want to fuck someone he essentially considered dead, or just tried to kill.

The fact that many people thought Eros and Psyche has never fucked before means that scene was very much needed. A man who is willing to manipulate and kill an innocent girl and countless others simply because he can is capable of taking advantage of a girl's love and just doing as he pleases.

All the media or manwha y'all consumed about those "cold blooded killers/villains" but actually innocent and inexperienced were all lies or just portraying the absolute minority of villains.

Villainy or being "evil" is not just about killing or physical torturing. Honestly, the worst villains are the ones that prey on the weak and the innocent.

Eros is a well written villain. His actions actually show that he is ruthless, intelligent, manipulative, narcisstic, and selfish.

It's also why I find it weird that y'all think him simping for Medea is out of character.

Just because the word Medea used to describe Eros' feelings for her was "love" doesn't mean she actually meant the love most people think of. Eros is not simping for Medea, he is keeping others from touching what he deems as his. He would like it if Medea was by his side, but he also wouldn't mind getting rid of her if she becomes a threat.

Eros only serves himself, everyone else is collateral. (I'd argue he actually has some kind of feelings for Psyche but I digress, I don't want to talk about him)

Right so reason no.2.

Medea disrespected Psyche by fukin Eros. Nahhh. That's not completely right.

I really really really feel bad that Eros being an S-grade asshole manipulator keeps going over everyone's head.

Oh, Medea could've said no, she could've made excuses if she didn't want to have sex with Eros...bro. THAT'S THE FUKIN POINT.

That whole scene was to cement and solidify, to shove in all our fuckin faces that there was nothing else she could do!

Yo when Psyche tried to reason with Eros cuz she didn't want to distance herself from Medea, Eros immediately pulled the basement and the lover card. And people think he wouldn't stoop lower???? That wouldn't make him a very 3D character. I would've laughed at him, would've gotten bored of Your Throne pretty easily. Thankfully, SAM wrote well and drew.

The colors, and expression, Medea does not look happy at all. SAM does not make those panels look happy at all or even sexy or something. It's dreary. It makes it look like a chore or something being done just for the sake of doing it.

Saw spoilers for the translation and it said something about Eros asking why Medea wasn't saying "I love you" while they were doing it,and Medea answered something along the lines of "Because you already know."

And fukin hell people! THAT WAS MEDEA BEING RESPECTFUL OF PSYCHE'S FEELINGS.

Sure it was partly because she disliked Eros,but if she was having sex with Eros because that was what Psyche would've done then she should've acted like Psyche all the way. But she didn't. She could've said I love you after Eros pointed it out so he wouldn't be suspicious, but she didn't.

That was the one thing Medea could choose to do in that situation and she did it.

Medea was in Psyche's body but she was not Psyche, and even though she can act like Psyche perfectly at any times, she chose not to during sex with Eros. It seems like a minor detail but coupled with the illustration that Medea is on top instead of bottom, something that probably didn't happen normally with the real Psyche, meant Medea had no plans of doing sexual things with Eros the way Psyche did.

'Cuz Medea knows Psyche thinks of sex as an intimate deed. Things in the bedroom was an act of love for Psyche, but Medea has no love for Eros and it's why she couldn't impersonate that part of Psyche.

If Medea did it Psyche's way then she really would be cheating Psyche, that would be Medea disrespecting Psyche's beliefs.

Like can y'all get that?

It's a bit weird- no, it feels like an incredible reach, but acts of kindness and respect for Medea's character is all about doing what isn't logical or reasonable or the most efficient action.

Medea has always, always, always done what was needed to gain the most benefits and have the least losses. Before she met Psyche, she never risked a loss that could be avoided. That's why her go to when she had enemies, was murder. If they're dead then there was no need to worry about them coming back and retaliating.

But after meeting Psyche, she allowed herself to take a risk, first by not killing Psyche when she had the chance. Then the more obvious scenes, like going with Pel to help with children, not killing the spy, not murdering her easily swayed servants, etc. (I consider Medea not throwing and destroying things as character developmemt also influenced by Psyche but we don't have to talk about that)

So hmm yeh. No.2 isn't true.

Medea has always respected Psyche, the only time that respect faltered was when she murdered Psyche's knight...then again I would also argue that Medea showed her own twisted form of respect by personally killing Psyche's favorite knight when she could just order Helio to do it.

Anyways dam this and dam it all. I haven't slept for nearly 30hrs now so Imma just stop here.

Main takeaway is Psyche and Medea's relationship is close and strong enough that they'd get through ep.122 flashback without much resentment, cuz they trust each other and both believe the other would never intentionally harm them.

At a certain point of maturity or at a certain point of a relationship, saying everything becomes unnecessary.

Open and outright communication is good and all (I encourage most people to do that 'cuz majority of people have trust issues and need the clear assurance) BUT it isn't for everyone. There are people who prefer not talking about issues directly instead they show that they've changed or show their understanding. Or delay the date they talk about it.

Medea and Psyche will probably talk about it someday, maybe when they're both safe and Eros is dead. Medea will genuinely apologize and she will be solemn about it. Psyche will accept it then laugh and say "I already knew about it.". It won't make Medea happy so Psyche will joke about asking Medea for compensation for it, and Medea will promise her anything. (this is not me romantically shipping them, this is me trying to put how comfortable Psydea are in their friendship into words.)

Medea likes clarifying things but when it comes to Psyche she tries to show some emotional tact.

When your friend is breaking down cuz someone is trying to kill them and nobody wants to listen or help them, would you go and say "btw I fucked ur bf" knowing that would worsen their condition? No you won't. You shouldn't. If you're a good friend you would do your absolute best to de-escalate, you'd wait for a better time to tell them but you would hint at it.

Not everything is black and white, it's not always all or nothing. Handling people's emotions and mental stability are some of those aspects that are a grey area.

You can do that if the other person is relatively mentally and emotionally stable. Like if it was the other way around and Psyche had to tell Medea she fucked Helio while in her body.

Medea can handle that kind of news, she would want to know about that immediately so she can arrange her cards right.

Psyche does not want to know. That's the difference between them.

I am still annoyed with that panel tho. It pisses me off to no end that Eros saw and touched someone as nice and pretty as Psyche. Ffs Psyche is 19 right now in the story which meant she was 16 when Eros became her lover. 19yr old Eros fukin played a clueless 16yr old. How fukin lower can you get?!

Also sheesh. Medea would not resort to rape/manipulating others for sex. She doesn't really get anything from sex. Her FUBU relationship with Helio was framed like a business transaction. They had an agreement. I bet she made it clear to Helio that their relationship wasn't going anywhere, Helio probs entered their FUBU agreement thinking Medea would change her mind. That's on him and his ego.

So why in the fuk would she intentionally spite Psyche in that manner? Medea loves Psyche like she really does.

The way she comforts Psyche, encourages her, tries not to push Psyche too much when it comes to her trauma and stuff...yeah. Medea loves Psyche.

And vice-versa.

Psyche used to be the kind of character that would choose the world over their beloved, but that changed.

Now both these women would choose each other over the world. Although Medea is trying hard to at least consider the world as an option.

They'll probably be single by the end of the webtoon (or dead. I hate myself for saying that but I gotta look at the facts. As much as I want a happy ending for the two, it seems unlikely).

Psydea will stay strong tho. If YT has a happy ending, even if it's not explicitly stated Psydea (romantic) will be endgame. A bad ending probably means a dead Medea (I am mad at myself for that conclusion but ugh).

Hmm that's all. I am open to questions and violent reactions just shoot. A bow, gun, canon, whatever

[mayhiems]

Part 1

Hmm so listen listen, I was gonna say this in the a/n for one of my Your Throne fics when I update, but I got impatient (I'm also worried about some of y'all). Kinda spoilers cuz I based it from the leaks.

So like I get that everyone thinks Medea having sex with Eros in Psyche's body is wrong, and mostly it's for two main reasons:

1. Lack of consent from Psyche's side. People assume that Psyche has never fucked before, cuz she's portrayed as an innocent and naive girl. And most of us were taught having sex = loss of innocence. It's not. So when Medea did that, people's thoughts kinda went "You made Psyche do something she wouldn't have! How dare u?!"

2. It seemed like Medea didn't care about Psyche, like she absolutely disrespected someone she was supposedly friends with.

Oh. Bonus reason on my side:

3. I fekin hate entitled predatory misogynistic men touching and even just looking at the sweetest and kindest women. Take your disgusting gaze elsewhere asshole, go mess with the people who'll actually fight back if you think you're the sht or smthng.

Okay so... no.1.

It's true we were never shown Medea and Psyche talking about the things they did while they were in each other's body. Maybe it's cuz they didn't have time to and their meetings were always short and monitored. I think one reason tho is cuz they already understood that they each did what they needed to survive.

Ep.44 in general,

And this scene in particular, I believe is a short and concise way for both Medea and Psyche to show their trust and acceptance of each other. I don't know about y'all but when my closest friends or family and I have MAJOR issues/disagreements, we confront each other but we don't say things directly at least not everything, things aren't discussed word by word. When you already know the circumstances for the series of events that happened and can't be changed, all that's needed is the understanding or forgivenes of the other. Some close and actual friends don't need to verbalize everything. Psyche and Medea are like that.

Medea is talking about the people they've lost, but what she didn't directly say was what she did to hurt Psyche. She mentioned not going back to the way things were cuz she didn't want to be ignorant of Psyche's suffering and do some petty murdering sht again. That was her reaching out to Psyche, it didn't seem like an apology but it was and it was also a promise to treat Psyche better. And Psyche accepted it.

Contrary to popular belief, Psyche is not stupid. She can connect the dots pretty fast, but her faith in the goodness and honesty of people make her ignore the more negative answers.

She knew it was Medea who took out her knight. She figured out what Lynn as a spy sent by Medea meant. Psyche figured out all that once Medea told her about the spies. That's why she's smiling, that's why she said what she said on the 2nd photo.

Psyche was forgiving Medea, and accepting that they couldn't do anything about the past and they needed to move forward. She was giving Medea her trust again.

How does this all relate to the fuck scene?

They didn't directly mention Medea's murder, the same reason that gross sht wasn't also mentioned. It was a painful topic that would've made Psyche sad and probably would've made her cry, NOT because she'd think "Medea I can't believe u fucked my fiance in my body!" but because the realization that Eros didn't love her would stab her again.

Psyche knew some aspects of Eros pretty well. She knew he was obsessive and possessive and very controlling. Eros' obsession with control and his being an asshole is partly why they probably fucked often when they met. He probs thinks along the lines of "I'm pretending to be her lover and fiance why can't I enjoy my priviliges?"

Yeah. He's a real asshole. And that time Psyche was just starting to adjust to that.

I'm not saying Medea was avoiding talking about it (well, maybe, I mean I'm not the author so I don't know exactly what the characters are thinking but based on what's established, I doubt Medea was exactly), I'm saying they were talking in code, talking in a language only the two of them know.

Hmm. I might be contradicting myself but ep.62 when Medea visited Psyche after getting assaulted by Eros on that sht boat ride.

Psyche apologized because she knew Medea liked to know everything so she can be ready for anything. She also apologized because she believes in love and thinks kissing and physical affection like those stuff are for those with mutual affections.

Medea absolutely hates Eros, so yeah, Psyche felt like apologizing. PLUS, it was out of character for Medea to kiss Eros, it made things complicated made weird situations like maybe...having Eros wanting a make out session out of nowhere?

I mentioned contradicting myself cuz in ep.62

It kinda seemed like Medea was guilty in the 1st pic, making excuses and justification in the 2nd pic not just for Psyche but also for herself.

Maybe Medea remembered her actions and felt bad about not being as direct as Psyche in apologizing, or maybe it's cuz Medea didn't feel the need to apologize until Psyche went down on her knees. Either way she felt bad for Psyche and had no intention of blaming her.

Medea recognizes that in all those shitty situations Psyche has never actually done anything wrong, she was forced, always forced.

The only mistake Psyche made in her relationship with Medea was not telling Medea about Eros being her secret lover. And even that was cuz she was forbidden from talking about her divinity, since opening up about Eros meant talking about the basement and talking about the basement meant speaking of her divinity.

Continued in Part2...

Dang it, hold on. I didn't know there was a 10pic limit in tumblr posts ugh. Lemme make dis part1 and imma go make part2 cuz I haven't tried posting explanations with photo evidence and hmmm it's kinda interesting.

[mayhiems]

A friend of mine was wonderin: where the hell are the Callista's knights?

Like I know Medea murdered her favorite and a few others...but... Did Medea annhilate the entire family? Cuz like if not and the author didn't just forget about them, then I'm sure they're going to come back in the later chapters and be an asset for Psyche.

They might not have appeared anymore cuz Psyche or her father haven't had the chance to call them cuz Eros ugh 🤢

Told my friend Medea killed the entire knight family tho bwahahahaha

Gawd Medea was such a bloodthirsty petty woman... I can't believe Psyche fell in love at first rumor, then sight of her

[mayhiems]

Tried to redeem myself from last time I guess...but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh how to choose clothing grrrrrr

[mayhiems]

This is messy af but I don't know what happened to my brush settings in my phone drawing app (I can't stand not having the lineart be solid colors) so I just ...messed up I guess

Guess I can't use reference without almost copying it completely ugh dont know how to clothes either ugh

Anyways Psydea ftw

[mayhiems]

Just droppin this here, in case anyone else is bored...need more works for Psydea pleaseee

Need it over 55 at least so I won't get tempted to make my own, y'all need to stop me from making trash

I wasn't even supposed to make this dang it

[mayhiems]

Dang. Since I've binged all Diakko and Kuromaya fics on Ao3 and am still not over them. For my own peace of mind, I would like to clarify that:

1. Diana is a top

Listen, she might've been flustered by Akko's straightforwardness and she forgets what to do with herself whenever Akko gets all up in her face BUT that's because she has no idea what's happening. She isn't sure how to deal with Akko's wildness cuz etiquette and common decency with regard to her culture was drilled into her yo. Plus, she wasn't sure where she stood with Akko in the anime. Where they friends? Acquaintances? Just schoolmates? She didn't know, and of course her manners would make her be more passive than active towards Akko. I mean she wanted to join that group hug but held back cuz she probably thought she'd be too much. Poor kid.

Anyways, that whole passive thing won't be a thing ONCE they start dating.

Sure, Akko might be the one to ask her out, as Diana might hold back due to her position and lifestyle and shtuff even if she'd figured out her feelings and all. She'd be doing that to avoid pressuring Akko, she's just that nice. But again that's a MIGHT. Diana is a VERY PROACTIVE person. I mean her first appearance she blasted them papill cuz she thought they were parasites she nourished. AND SO, ONCE DIAKKO STARTS DATING Y'ALL BETTER BELIEVE SHE'S THE ACTIVE ONE

Diana will court and love Akko the way she does everything. Which means with 120% effort and her whole heart. In other words, Akko will have the best and most proactive girlfriend ever. It's gonna be funny too cuz like Diana's mere presence commands respect and awe from all sorts of people. She turns heads, even Akko's.

No, especially Akko's.

Akko has been dumbstruck on seeing Diana, and has deferred to Diana on numerous occasions. Akko admires and trusts Diana so much, Akko would probably be constantly awestruck and stunned by Diana's attentiveness and care. Also, Diana is gorgeous.

Imagine that, a determined, gorgeous, and nice girl paying utmost attention to you. Akko would become a flustered blushing mess, nobody can change my mind.

2. Claudine TOPS

Y'all can use Maya's confidence and arrogance to defend her all y'all want BUT Maya was denied the chance to feel her emotions, and interact with people outside of theatre and work. The girl is so emotionally constipated she constantly acts in a manner that only shows her "superiority". Not in the sense that she brags (cuz honestly with her skills it's more a statement of fact) but in the sense that she portrays herself as unflawed and nothing less than confident in front of others. Maya doesn't allow herself to doubt herself or show her uncertainty in anything.

That can't last.

She may seem put together throughout the series but that's probably cuz she puts her emotions at arm's length.

If Maya and Claudine start dating there's no way Maya can keep doing that without harming their relationship.

Kuro is understanding and quite caring but she has limits too and her understanding of her own self-worth won't allow her to be treated any less than she deserves. Maya knows that and so she'll try to actually feel her feelings. And boy is that going to involve lots of shy faces, awkwardly spoken but honest sentences, and tentative requests. Like Maya would be the type to suddenly go "I want a kiss." with an innocent but determined pleading expression, and Claudine would smile helplessly but adoringly and say "Okay." Kuro would then slowly and gently kiss Maya, she'd give Maya the option to pull away and change her mind. Because again Claudine is kind and understanding.

For all of her self-assurdeness and aggressiveness, Claudine has been shown to help others without prompting and has been shown to be attentive of the people around her (though she tries not to show it).

Among the nine, Kuro has the most balanced exposure to work, play, and interaction with the world. She knows herself, knows how she is to others, and knows how she would show herself to others. She's confident, studious but also playful. She knows what she wants and does her best to get them. When it comes to emotions, she isn't afraid to accept and show them. Her sadness, irritation, happiness, she is pretty expressive. Also, I don't know how else to say this but.

She's a huge flirt.

Kuro interacts with others in a way that requires a good understanding of other people's emotions. 'Cause she has that. She knows emotions and feelings. She knows when to push or pull, when to tease or please, knows how to fluster or comfort, etc.. She does all these well. Which I think is partly the reason why Maya annoys her so much.

Aside from the frustration of constantly being second place, Maya's cold words and attitude baffles and borderline insults Claudine. Kuro accepst that she needs further improvement but what she can't accept is Maya's condescension. What bothers Kuro isn't what Maya says, but the way she says them. Maya may not outright sound mean or condescending, but someone as emotionally astute as Kuro would pick up on the fact that Maya is "acting". Like, yes everyone acts in front of others and put on masks, but there's a difference in the way Maya does it.

It's established that she represses her emotions, and that she masks the fact with other emotions. What Maya is doing is basically wearing two masks on top of each other.

Of course that would tick off Claudine because first of all, if you're gonna put up a mask for the world why choose such a cold and haughty one? It probably rubs Kuro the wrong way, cuz she's an actress too but she doesn't interact with people so coldly and with so little feelings. Outside of the stage, Kuro talks to people as people, and treats them as such, so when Maya tossed her superior persona in Claudine's face she was appalled.

And second, how frustrating must it be to pull down one mask only to be met with another mask. It implies the idea of another mask, and Kuro would then doubt anything of Maya is genuine. What's worse is that the second mask is Maya's refusal and inability to connect with her emotions so it'll be like interacting with a wall. Claudine lives according to her heart and Maya's disregard for her own heart puts Claudine off.

Which makes Kuromaya even better as a ship.

Kuro is pretty casual and friendly so why is it that all her hackles raise whenever Maya is involved? It can't just be envy, Claudine is too aware of herself to let envy affect her sociability and her manners, as hot-headed as she may seem. The reason, is partially Kuro's desire to understand Maya. Kuro saw this snobbish talented but hardworking girl and immediately questioned how someone so amazing could be so emotionally inept. Kuro was annoyed with Maya's lack of emotional connect, but instead of ignoring Maya, Kuro consciously or subconsciously decided to help her. Claudine understood that Maya avoided feelings and only spoke in theatre and dramatics, so she showed her emotions as blatant and obviously as possible, and what emotion is dramatic? What emotions other than anger, arrogance, and annoyance can you show that can trigger reactions from people?

Kuro blasted her emotions to eleven in Maya's presence so Maya wouldn't be able to ignore it. It's as if Claudine is showing Maya the ropes to feelings like 'this is anger, Maya. You can blow up, get angry, raise your voice, it's okay and it's normal. Everyone feels it, even you and me. I mean look at me.'.

Simply put, Claudine is trying to speak Maya's language in order to help Maya navigate her emotions. And it works. It freakin works.

When Maya talked and held out her hand to Claudine after their loss, that wasn't just an acknowledgement of Claudine's hardwork as a stage girl, that was also an acknowledgement of Claudine's efforts to reach out to Maya personally, and proof of Maya's improvement from being an aloof ass.

Both of them are calmer the last time they're seen, cuz they understand each other better now. Claudine doesn't have to shout anymore for Maya to listen to her.

Anyways, all of the above had to be said so I can reiterate that Claudine TOPS.

Maya equipped with new understanding of emotions and how her actions affect the emotions of others will probably be fumbling and hesitating for fear of upsetting her counterpart. BUT the thing is, Claudine is such an understanding and supportive person that Maya can take her time doing and asking for whatever. And this gets her to be comfortable with feelings. That just doesn't mean Maya now has the same confidence on stage as in her relationship with Kuro. Maya would still be shy and unable to take the lead when giving physical affection as it's new territory for her.

Claudine on the other hand, has lots of love to give, and knowing her partner grew up with little affection makes Kuro want to give Maya everything. Maya would let her because it's Claudine, her trusted partner and companion.

And again, Claudine is a huge FLIRT. That girl knows she's amazing, gorgeous, charming, and undeniably attractive, couple that with the fact that she's absolutely determined in getting whatever she wants and boom. Top!Claudine.

With anyone else, Maya would top, but with Claudine? Bottom you go.

Although, Kuro wouldn't mind if Maya wants to try taking the lead.

Y'all can argue that when you find a genie, otherwise you shouldn't even think of winning.

Also Claudine is bi af. That girl just likes what she likes and probably doesn't think much of gender.

In short:

Diakko

Before dating/confirming each other's feelings:

Akko: *grabs Diana's hands grinning widely* DIANA!

Diana: *freezes, gay panics* uhhh

Dating

Akko: Diana! *smiles so bright the sun disappears*

Diana: *smiles gently, brushes Akko's bangs aside, carresses cheek, and kisses Akko's forehead* Hello, Akko.

Akko: *completely red faced, mouth agape* I-uhh-umm

Roughly Kuromaya:

Claudine: *holds out hand for a shake, smiling prettily* Nice to meet you.

Maya: *lifts one eyebrow, looks at Kuro's hand then face then hand again then back to face* uh-huh Pleased to make your acquaintance. *doesn't accept handshake*

Claudine internally: wtf. Wtf?????? Excusez moi?

Claudine: okay listen up *gets in Maya's face like so close their noses brush against each other's* that's not how you greet people

Maya: *blanks at the sight of the pretty girl with intense eyes, gets annoyed with self at gay panicking* Step aside.

Claudine: *blocks Maya's way* i am not leaving till you talk to me properly

Maya: *surprised pikachu face*

Claudine: *smiling confidently* And you will

Maya: *fascinated, thoroughly intrigued, and gaying hard* Of course. Please be gentle with me.

Claudine: *scoffs* What do you take me for, a brute? *gently squeezes Maya's shoulder* You're in good hands.

Maya: *bursts into tears cuz she's finally not alone, and she's so terribly touch-starved*

Hmm yeah not too accurate. Tsk.

Anyways... Hopefully with this I can do my homeworks and stay away from these dam girls.

[mayhiems]

This is on impulse. I had no intentions-I have so much stuff to do. This wasn't supposed to exist but ugh!

Eight years later and you're still best girl  (´༎ຶ▽༎ຶ`)

[mayhiems]

I swear

I’ll be me. 

When I step into a peaceful room, I’ll wreak havoc

But when I come across a riot, I’ll stop it

Human nature is a contradiction and the best way to feel good is to own it.