#Analysis

[puriteenism]

As someone with a fear of pregnancy, I usually hate the "afraid of pregnancy but has a baby anyway for him!!!" trope. I think its misogynistic and reduces the pain and terror and high chance of death that pregnancy presents. Despite this, I love the Hunger Games and its ending, where Katniss ends up happy with her children and Peeta, whereas usually I'd roll my eyes. Heres why I think that is.

My fear of pregnancy is mostly centred around pain/uncomfortability, which is what most main characters think about when the pregnancy trope is involved. They dont want to go through the body and mind altering/often destroying process pregnancy is (and before someone jumps down my throat im not anti pregnancy i just think ppl should be informed its very dangerous). So when the author plops them with a baby at the end bc they just love their lover so much, it feels... ignorant. Like theyre ignoring all the pain that they feel as though love can override it and presenting the only way they can truly be happy is if they have a baby. Its gross and I hate it.

But Katniss' fears arent about that. Theyre about having children who are born into the games, not the inherent horror of childbirth. Its more about bringing children into a world she knows will eat them alive and spit them out broken or dead or both. So when they end the book and theyve taken down the Capitol and there are no more hunger games, that bruden is lifted. Existing, having her children isnt shown as an obligation for her to be happy or complete and it isnt shown as her pushing through the fears of pain bc she loved peeta so much, its more of a screw you to the capitol. She is allowed to have her children, her private and raise them in a world that she is no longer afraid to have them in. And yes, Peeta plays a part in it, because what more to counter your fear of children in an uncertain world than a man you can always be certain will love you and them?

Its not a strong woman being told "you need a family and a man to be complete after telling the narrative repeatedly how you dont want that" its a "we have broken down the barriers that were previously holding you back, and you can be free now to have your family and it will be so radically different than you were expecting and that will fulfil you." They arent just children, theyre a representative of her triumph over the capitol. She fought to have them.

I know this makes no sense, she just means a lot to me.

[angstandhappiness]

DUDE

simply cannot ever resist what i call the little mermaid or the tin man or the pinnochio plot, the one about a character who is either inhuman or human but outside in some way, constantly searching for whatever it is that they consider to be the quintessential proof of humanity, preoccupied by it so deeply that they fail to realize the proof is in the act and fact of the search itself

[a-tired-humanist]

The other day I saw an analysis about eyes in Castlevania: Nocturne and I remember one angle that wasn’t taken into account while looking at Edouard's blue eyes was the fact that they set him apart from other Haitians as mixed. His eyes are part of why he can be an opera singer. They show how, within the colonial caste system, he is a black man of a higher social standing than the other revolutionaries because he is mixed. Generationally so. And Edouard used the few privileges he could hold on to with teeth and nails to protect his people. He didn't buy into the system, into every lie ever told to him about his inherent "superiority". He became an ally to those enslaved.

Anyway, I love the fact they made Edouard a light-skinned, blue eyed, mixed black man. I love the many ways it speaks about the history of Latin America and the Caribbean.

[queeleronwheels]

I saw a post talking about how Mike's love at first sight confession was bogus because the only reason Mike grew close to El in the first place was to use her as a tool to find Will.

While I 100% agree that Mike did not, as he claimed, love El since the moment he saw her, I think the beginning of their relationship is more complex than that, and I think acknowledging this lends more credibility to the idea that Mike doesn't, and never did, love El romantically. Hear me out:

Mike loves to be needed. It is the very essence of his character, and moves beyond just subtext in S4 when he says to Will in the van, "What if after all this is over, she doesn't need me anymore?"

El was all alone and on the run when she was first found by the Party. She needed to be hidden, to be protected, and Mike latched on to the role of protector immediately. He especially liked being her guide through an unfamiliar world, and in doing that, they did grow close, and they did grow to care for each other, outside of anything to do with Will.

That alone didn't push Mike to turn their relationship into something romantic (because yes, it was Mike's decision; El was very vulnerable, unfamiliar with how the world worked, and looked up to Mike to show her the way. Not a great foundation for a romantic relationship, and all the more reason El should end up single and on a journey of self-discovery and independence in S5). The beginning of their romance was a result of Mike's need to be needed in combination with him being a young boy in a heteronormative society that thought “oh, and she’s a girl too, so I guess I’m her boyfriend."

For Mike, kissing El was taking advantage of the fact that there was a girl in his house and she relied on him and according to Ted Wheeler and the rest of the tiny suburban bubble he lives in, that's the stuff of picket-fence romances right there! Off to the Snow Ball they go!

In S3, as he grows more in tune to his feelings and less naive about how romantic relationships actually work, his relationship with El becomes about waiting. He is waiting to finally feel about her how he "should", especially as they become more hands-on and El begins to expect boyfriend-y things of him. He even tries it on for size with his whole "I love her and I can't lose her again" blunder, because no doubt he does love her, but it isn't the way he wants to for the sake of conformity. Maybe if he professes it out loud for the whole world to hear, it'll hit different (it doesn't—it's portrayed comedically, with no swelling music or relieved laughter or running into El's arms. In fact, go watch it again—the music literally dies once he says it).

By S4, he knows it's not going to happen, the feelings aren't going to come—he very visibly realized this when El kissed him and told him she loved him at the end of S3—but he's motivated to keep up the act because in his mind 1) he can't be gay if he's with a girl and 2) he really does still want to be needed by her. That part wasn't a lie, as we know from him saying it to Will in the van. If she still needs him, maybe this could still work even if he doesn't love her romantically. Without that need, he has nothing to offer.

The real substance of Mike and El's relationship is platonic, sibling-like love (they established this the second before they got together in S1 with the "Will you be like my brother?" line, which is a hell of a weird springboard for a first kiss between your central couple, even if it's a chaste one between kids).

It was never love at first sight—it was forced heteroromance at first convenience.

Mike's relationship with El suffers in S3 and S4 because El begins to want more from him romantically, and Mike is not romantically attracted to her. His S5 arc is going to at the very least be about him accepting that for what it is and why (🏳️‍🌈). Personally I think when he learns that Will has feelings for him, it will make the idea of him having feelings for Will potentially less scary in his mind, and that's what will hurtle him toward the end of that arc. That's my hope, anyway!

[sailoreuterpe]

@babsvibes @ffishstick @irregularbillcipher This seems right up your alley.

It's a unique type of frustration when you agree that a character is deeply flawed but other people keep missing what's actually wrong with them and assigning them new flaws that they don't even have it's like free my man he did none of that. He did a bunch of other shit tho.

[ellaismydog]

So I rewatched the Trigun 1998 episode with Wolfwood's death yesterday, and it got me thinking about how Vash and Wolfwood use each other's names.

Because Trigun 1998 is weird in that it's the only version where Wolfwood uses Vash's name regularly, instead of using a nickname. And he does it SO much. This could be a localisation change, or it could be because Maximum was in its infancy and they hadn't identified that character quirk yet, but still. I think it's so interesting.

But then, 1998 has that strange scene just before Wolfwood's death, where he says "I only really know you as the Stampede. You could at least tell me your real name". Which sets Vash up for the absolutely perfect line of "Between you and me, my name is irrelevant", which.... ahhhh it's so good.

But it's still WEIRD, right? Because Vash is, ostensibly, his real name. And Wolfwood knows that, he's been calling him Vash since the beginning, Vash told him his name about 15 episodes ago -

Except.

Wait.

No, he didn't.

Vash NEVER TOLD WOLFWOOD HIS NAME, because he was too busy doing the whole Blue Stradavari Andri Charlton Heymoss (no way am I typing that name out in full, I'm just putting what I can remember) bit! MILLY was the one who actually said his name - Vash never introduced himself properly at all.

So, shit. This weird moment could actually be read as a call back, a parallel between a joke and one of THE MOST TRAUMATIC MOMENTS ever put to animation. They're bookending Vash and Wolfwood meeting with Vash and Wolfwood parting, which is evil just by itself.

But then, you can also consider Vash's reaction. Because, both times, he refuses to give Wolfwood his name.

Now. I love the "irrelevant" line, I think it's so romantic, I've already gushed about it here. Because it's saying that these two people know each other so well, they don't even really need names anymore. But really, doesn't it highlight one of the more 'negative' aspects of Vash's character? He doesn't like committing to things. He lies to nearly everyone he meets, about the kind of person he is, his intelligence, his age, his history. This version of the show literally started with people being unable to pin him down. And then, even with Wolfwood - who Vash suspects may be preparing himself to die, remember - he still doesn't give him his name.

Maybe it's because he's scared. Maybe it's a way to try and keep Wolfwood from dying, just so he comes back to get his name. Either way, it's the last thing Wolfwood asks of him, and he doesn't do it.

Just... oh my god. The INACTION and REGRET piled into that choice. It really summarises their entire relationship. Because really, if Vash and Wolfwood had just talked to each other more, so much heartache could have been avoided. But even here, Vash can't let himself be vulnerable in that way. He avoids it, the risk of being seen as he actually is, the risk of bekng hurt. And then, when Wolfwood actually dies, he suddenly doesn't even have the option anymore.

God this show hurts me so much.

I kinda buried the lede here, but I also wrote a fic about this idea. If you're interested, here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66621268

[ilions-end]

i was listening to an elizabeth vandiver lecture on the greek pantheon where she points out the theme in greek myths where male lovers of goddesses often end up suffering in some way, and how that can be seen to tie into the ancient greek preoccupation with who penetrates who (the higher status person may penetrate the lower status person, and never vice versa). within that framework, someone like ganymede is "safe" from narrative punishment because being a passive mortal eromenos of zeus is in accordance with the hierarchy, while tithonus, willing or unwilling, commits an offense against the "order of things" by penetrating and impregnating eos.

vandiver uses the union of aphrodite and anchises to illustrate how consent is not a factor at all (in the hymn, anchises is very aware that he mustn't have sex with a goddess, but aphrodite tricks him into it). even unknowing, he commits an outrage by sleeping with a goddess, and is in various traditions eventually struck lame, blinded or killed by a thunderbolt.

i think this theory adds an interesting facet to the beginning of the odyssey, where calypso then has odysseus basically locked into a perpetual outrage-against-the-gods loop by forcing him to be her lover. are the seven years trapped on her island a narrative punishment for that? is it why he needs literal divine intervention to break the loop and escape?

[thethiefandtheairbender]

Stoick shouting "This isn't a joke, Hiccup!" which bleeds into not only humour as Hiccup's defense mechanism (that everyone sees right through) but also Astrid demanding, "Is this some kind of a joke to you?", a perspective she holds even after her and Hiccup find the nest with "And you what to keep it a secret? What, to protect your pet dragon, are you serious?" but changes when Hiccup goes, "Yes" because he has finally found something he takes entirely seriously (/ selflessly; now concerned post-New Tail with others seeing through him not for his own sake but for Toothless') and then Astrid never doubts him again. do you see the vision

[awlwren]

[id: question titled "I'm confused", marked as a spoiler and tagged "The Way of Kings": "What the hell is a Parshendi? Why are there so many random gemstones lying around all the time? Is it normal to be this confused at this point in the book? Does this book even answer any of these questions?" A blanked-out commenter replies, "The book does answer these questions eventually. What chapter are you on, OP?" OP: "Page 3 of the prologue" Previous commenter: "alright bro"]/end id.

[hellspawnmotel]

Hello! I found you through your abduction fanart for deltarune I have not caught up to the weird route yet but I am curios (and generally worried bc I don't really do well w forced romance/physical affection) as to what made you think or read that scene between Kris and Noelle as.... An implied sa scene (?)/gen for the lack of a better term u can ignore and I apologize if that wasn't your intention for the fanart but again I was just curious ^^;;

no worries, it's an honest and genuine question and I absolutely understand why you would want to know about it before going in yourself. I'll try to explain as best I can. (spoilers follow of course)

so first I need to establish this, idk if you'd heard already but the scene was actually patched to have an animation changed. this is the biggest point of contention with people and the main reason cited for that reading of the text: originally, the scene ended with a hard cut to black, apart from an animation of a small rose in the same spot noelle had just been, losing its petals one by one. and we cut right from that to a completely different scene without getting to see the aftermath of what happened to noelle. because of the wilting rose imagery, a lot of people took it to mean that she had been "deflowered", as in the player in kris's body had literally assaulted her. after a few days, the rose animation was changed to instead resemble glass cracking, or thorns blooming outward, or veins, I've seen it referred to as a lot of different things. there's been a ton of discussion about this but my interpretation of the change is that the team wanted to make it clear that an assault was not like, the one true reading of the scene. since noelle's fate beyond that is left fairly ambiguous and we don't have the rest of the game yet, we only have that symbolism to go off of. so I can understand why it could be taken as a literal, textual sexual assault and there could be a lot of controversy around that.

that said, the rose animation wasn't the ONLY thing that gave people that idea. the entire scene leading up to it is extremely intimate in a very scary and uncomfortable way. it involves kris and noelle alone together in noelle's bedroom, trying to have a serious conversation that is interrupted by the player taking full control of kris, revealing to noelle that the "dream" was real, and that we can hear her thoughts. the climax of the scene is "kris" crowding closer and closer to noelle as she desperately tries to move away, pleading for us to stop, until she's backed into a corner. "kris" then grabs her arm, noelle screams, and the thorn ring is painfully forced back onto her finger. cut to black. I don't know if I need to explain the parallels there.

I want to be clear that I don't think there's a "correct" way to read this scene, it's vague on purpose and left to the viewer's imagination. I personally don't actually see it as a textual assault- I see it as a metaphorical one. but some people do read it as textual, and others don't read it as relating to SA at all. I think all of these interpretations are completely valid, but there's no way to know how each individual person sees it. that's why I tagged my art as SA. I was not intending to imply it's literally what I believe happened, but I understood that the framing and imagery has the potential to inspire that idea and by that logic it could also be really upsetting to people who need to filter it out. (the caption of course nods to that as well; "the abduction of proserpina" refers to a famous sculpture that is more commonly known as "the rape of proserpina", though "abduction" is a more accurate translation. I wanted to make a reference to the darker interpretation while still giving it plausible deniability, which is what I see the actual text as, and also reference the myth of hades and persephone at the same time. so it WAS intentional on my part but like. symbolically.)

I hope this clears things up for you and also helps you decide whether you want to see that part of the game for yourself. keep in mind, whatever you take away from it is totally valid, and the same goes for everyone else. it's a really fucked up scene either way and I don't like that people are pointing fingers at each other for how we choose to read it.

[mikaikaika]

We talk so much about Lukey feeling giddy seeing Pangi be all alert and bloodthirsty but what about Pangi being enamoured by Lukey

The expertise with which Lukey walks in the lab - pen twirling note books handled - full scientist mode on. He's writing equations and solving formulas which Pangi can't even begin to decipher. Every time Lukey tries to explain something, it sounds like beautiful gibberish like a second language that comes so naturally to only him .

By Lukey's ability to control and move the chess pieces to his ability. As opposed to Pangi's impulsiveness, Lukey's moves are precise and calculated. He doesn’t need brute strength; his power is in the way he speaks, how one sentence can stop Pangi in his tracks. There’s something magnetic about a person who can rile you up, break you down, and put you back together, without ever lifting a finger.

By Lukey's astute grasp on his words and social settings. Pangi watches Lukey thrive in it. Confident, charming, loud in all the right ways. He seems like he belongs everywhere... until the crowd fades and it’s just the two of them, and Lukey admits in a whisper that he’d rather be anywhere else.

By Lukey's devotion and thus acceptance towards Pangi. Lukey doesn't just see the brave protector he also sees the ugly the violence, the temper, the rough edges—and doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t try to fix him. He teases, he provokes, but on top of it he accepts ; he trusts. Lukey doesn’t just accept him—he chooses him, again and again. And Pangi, who has always known how to fight for others, is slowly learning what it means to be fought for. It's the feeling of being understood without being tamed.

Pangi sees the fire that Lukey is yet time and time again he readily walks in ready to get burned.

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

I want to see more of Shadow being a sort of medical caretaker.

I mean, despite all his cool chaos powers and being the Ultimate Lifeform, wasn't that one of the biggest reasons he was created? To cure Maria? But even though he couldn't cure her illness, he still seemed to have training on how to help someone who's sick or hurt. Exhibit A:

This is the most we've ever seen of Shadow truly taking care of Maria in reference to her illness. Still, you can see how attentive he was here. Even though they were standing a few feet apart, as soon as she started losing consciousness, he picked up on it and ran to catch her.

When she apologized and insisted that she'd just "pushed it a little," he gently scolded her by reminding her that her condition was only being kept in remission due to the low gravity on the ARK. Clearly, he was very knowledgeable on her illness and what she could and couldn't do, and he was always ready to take care of her if her condition suddenly dropped, or on her bad days (according to dialogue bits from the actual SXSG game).

And since Maria's been gone through the entire main timeline of the franchise, it seems we get so caught up in all of Shadow's coolness and powerful abilities and whatnot that we forget he's still trained— at least to some extent— in the medical and caretaking area.

That's where I'm glad we have something of an Exhibit B: the end of Sonic Prime.

I loved EVERYTHING about this whole group of scenes, but ESPECIALLY getting to see Shadow being so gentle and caring towards Sonic of all people. But to stay focused on the point of this post— even though Sonic's situation was more, shall we say, unique than Maria's, his health was still rapidly declining and he needed help for basically everything. Sure, they had a goal in mind, and all Shadow needed to do was take him to the Green Hill gateway. But knowing how violent Shadow can be (especially in context of the whole rest of the show), seeing the very gentle and clearly experienced way he assisted Sonic was both heartwarming and a strong reminder of his original purpose.

For one, in the above gif, the way he immediately went to support him the way one is supposed to with someone who can't really walk on their own, with no pause, like he'd done it before. And how he waited for a moment until Sonic was ready, monitoring his face, before starting to move forward. Then—

—Sonic got to a point of being unable to walk or stand at all, or even move very much. Shadow hesitated only for a split second, but he stayed relatively calm, picked him up, and kept going. Even though he didn't say much throughout all this, he was keeping a watchful eye on Sonic through this whole sequence, even before he took over the mission of bringing him home. He knew what he was doing. It wasn't extensive, sure, but knowing his past, we know this was not his first time taking care of someone who couldn't take care of themselves.

He's saved people before from explosions and fights, but this is a whole different category of "saving" people, and like I said, it's one that I want to see more of with Shadow in particular. 🥹🖤❤️

[azzie-tangerine]

Ok coming back to this now having actually beaten the boss (also bc this surprisingly blew up??? what). I wanna talk about after the fight too because while it MAY debunk what I said earlier (and- no hate ofc- but I did see a few say so), I actually don't think it does.

So, once you actually beat the boss that you're supposed to lose in, this happens.

Two slashes suddenly appear, knocking out Ralsei and Susie. The Knight shows up by Kris, knocking them out too. Most likely so that the story can continue the same despite you beating the boss.

Who insta-KO'D Susie and Ralsei? Most would assume the Knight within first glance, and if you haven't played Chapter 4 yet, you wouldn't question that. But Ralsei's words sound weird, then. Why would Ralsei ask "How could you" to the Knight? They know the Knight is their enemy. In fact, they know that more than US at this point (again, assuming the mindset one would have if we haven't played Chap 4 yet). Maybe it's out of nativity that someone would be truly evil, but that sounds more like Chapter 1 Ralsei, healing the King. Not Chapter 3 Ralsei.

But the slash appears to be coming from behind the trio. So, who could it be... but Kris. Kris is the one who attacks their friends. This would make Ralsei's words make sense. He is confused as to why they have attacked Susie- or at the very least, is feigning the confusion (they know the entire prophecy. Why wouldn't said prophecy mention Kris and the Knight's relations?)

We don't know 100% if this is the case, but let's just continue on assuming this was Kris. So, Kris attacks their friends to allow the Roaring Knight to continue with its plans. Previous analysis debunked, then? They would choose the Knight over their friends.

Well... I don't blame those who think that why. But here's why I don't think this changes anything. It just reinforces Kris and the Knight's relationship.

This fight- whether you beat the Knight or not- changes nothing about the fact that Kris is allies with the Knight. They are obligated to out of a "promise". They can rebel in small ways, no longer pulling punches when one or both friends are down, but when the fight is over, they are still supposed to be working with the Knight. That's something, at this point of the story, Kris doesn't have the determination to refuse. If Kris were to eventually choose their friends over the Knight like I suspect (and again- I think this is the case), they need to feel secure enough to leave the Knight in the first place. Perhaps the Knight has promised them something. Perhaps it's because they share a history. Perhaps Kris is too scared to. Maybe even a combination of things. But it must be something.

Why, you may ask? Why am I so sure the Knight is forcing the Kris to go along with this, rather than it being 100% their choice?

Let's go back to the scene post beaten Knight. What does the Knight do to Kris?

The Roaring Knight makes Kris kneel.

What's the point of this? Susie and Ralsei are down already. They can't see this. Nobody can, they are either KO'd or asleep. Kris, at this point, could feign damage and pretend to knock out. Or the Knight could actually KO them, at -80 like they would in the fight.

But before they do that, they feel like they have an obligation to make Kris kneel in front of them.

As if to remind them. Remind them that Kris works for the knight. Kneeling is a gesture most often done to subjects towards royalty. It's done to show loyalty. Kris does not kneel on their own. Again, the Knight makes them kneel.

Perhaps the Knight notices Kris stop pulling their punches as their friends get hurt. Perhaps it is only mad that Kris let the fight last that long. Either way, it feels a need to remind Kris to stay in their place.

And Kris allows the Knight to do so. No fight. Remember how much of a fight they give the SOUL in Chapter 4. Kris just allows this to happen. Only then, does the Knight KO Kris and the cutscene continues as it normally would.

Kris is trapped, not just by the SOUL possession. But if they weren't?

They would pick their friends.

Okay while I'm absolutely getting my ass kicked on the Roaring Knight boss trying to actually beat it, I noticed something and I decided to talk about it.

So, in this fight, Kris does the least amount of damage to the Roaring Knight when attacking.

Despite Ralsei, supposedly, having a lower attack stat than Kris, even he's doing more than Kris. But Chapter 4 proves that in some way, they are involved with the Knight in a way. So it's obvious what's going on. They're holding back their punches. And, in a way, so is the Knight. When KO'd, Kris is more often than not set to -80 hp, while Ralsei and Susie are often set to -999. The Knight- whatever it is and how it's related to the Holidays- sees Kris as an ally and someone to not seriously hurt. And vice versa.

Well, except for once condition.

When both Susie and Ralsei are KO'd, and Kris is left standing.

Suddenly, it seems that Kris' attack significantly spikes. Now doing more damage than Susie typically does, who is the strongest one of the trio. Doing more than double the damage they were originally doing to their supposed ally.

The ONLY condition of this damage spike, at least from what I've seen, is when Kris is the only one of the group still able to fight. nothing else.

This tells me a few things. One: that Kris genuinely does care for Ralsei and Susie. Both of these are already proven both before and after this fight, but for Ralsei in particular the evidence was rather limited. It's only Chapter 3 onward (debatable) that they show care for Ralsei, when pre-Chapter 3 there was hesitance. Gesturing to the Ralsei tea. Kris caring for Susie, in comparison, is a lot more obvious thanks to their more frequent moments alone together.

What's more important to me is the second thing this says: That when put in the situation to choose, Kris will prioritize RALSEI and SUSIE'S sake rather than the Knight.

I've been a "Kris is not evil" believer since the start, and I feel like this is evidence for that. While we as the SOUL don't fully know what's going on with Kris, what we do see is Carol and/or the Knight having some type of hold on them. Something about a "promise". They know more than we do, possibly as much as Ralsei knows, and will fight to prevent us from knowing more. And yet, when put in a fight that already shows them holding back, they suddenly stop when they're the last ones protecting their friends.

They may claim otherwise in the future. But actions speak louder than hidden dialogue. If they had to choose between the Knight, someone that you could argue they have a history with, or their new friends?

It's Ralsei and Susie they'd choose.

[abybweisse]

Ch216 spoilers

Don't know what Sebastian or our earl's is tallying, but we see from the title page that Seb does consider the human world to be "wonderful". Reminds me of what Othello says about the human realm being full of organic smells.

I had forgotten about their free passes to Merry Ocean Pier 🎡 , and they decide to check things out there before heading to the "smoking room" later that evening.

I see what might be a genie (fake or real?)...

... then either a magician or an actor in a play (is it a religious play... like Moses or something??), and a mysterious lurker 👀.

Sebastian doesn't seem to realize they are being watched.... 🤔

I have not seen the full chapter yet.

But I now expect them to not get to the "smoking room" until ch217.

[theforbiddentexts]

To be able to recognize you can leave an abusive situation, especially one you're born into is incredibly difficult and not an easy process to go through. Imagine how Sephiroth felt after stating "I may abandon Shinra."

The excitement, the fear, the anxiety, the pain in that feeling. The environment at Shinra is all he's ever known, that objectification and false glorification, being treated as less than human for as long as he could remember. He could finally leave. What would come after, who knows, but he'd be out.

And then he gets to Nibelheim. He learns he was never free, there was never a time he was free, there was never even a chance. His life wasn't his, his very existence didn't belong to him. He wasn't born and then taken to be an experiment, he wasn't even born naturally. Ever since he was first thought of, he was an experiment.

He didn't exist because someone wanted a son, he existed because they needed a specimen.

Even the dreams, the fantasies in his mind of his mother coming to save him and spending time with her, having her care are completely shattered. The library in the manor tells him he never had a mother. The woman in the photo didn't exist. If there wasn't a chance of those things happening before, it was now at absolute zero.

He wasn't loved. He was never loved. There was never a chance to be loved. The people who cared, who he thought cared, were gone or dead. All he had was Jenova.

Was Mother.