maylene2x1-blog

[maylene2x1-blog]

Text || Marina & Sonny

SONNY: Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath?

MARINA: Honestly not at all that is the future

MARINA: Hearing this is almost as good as when mom taught me how to make scrambled eggs in the microwave

[maylene2x1-blog]

Text || Zach & Cass

CASS: So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.

ZACH: Okay but like are you Sure

ZACH: You should get tested js

ZACH: I don't fuck with needles and I know I'm not alone

ZACH: Not to "make it about me" or anything

[maylene2x1-blog]

Text || Marina & Sabrina

SABRINA: My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.

MARINA: Proud of u

MARINA: Mine was finally finishing season 2 of Fuller House so like am I winning or losing

MARINA: Before you get the chance to text back I'm winning

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Text || Marina & Jeff

JEFF: In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches

MARINA: You make that sound like a nightmare but like that's a dream tbh

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Text || Zach & Nico

NICO: pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready

ZACH: dude wtf

ZACH: am i at least gonna get a taquito

[maylene2x1-blog]

Sentence Starters -- Texts From Last Night

[text]: I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.

[text]: Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.

[text]: Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.

[text]: Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.

[text]: Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.

[text]: I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.

[text]: Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.

[text]: I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable

[text]: Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?

[text]: Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake

[text]: pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready

[text]: I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made

[text]: Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway

[text]: Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life?

[text]: In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches

[text]: I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?

[text]: my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman

[text]: You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.

[text]: I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.

[text]: She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.

[text]: So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.

[text]: Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?

[text]: My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.

[text]: I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.

[text]: I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food

[text]: i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place

[maylene2x1-blog]

TEXT 🖕🏻 ZACKIE

JACKIE: that smells like a lie but oops

JACKIE: "my supplier" do you think your dick is a drug now?? maybe you should be mean to me FIRST, pal.

ZACH: i actually meant the ice cream but hey if you're hooked on my dick no need to be ashamed about it

[maylene2x1-blog]

nacho2x1:

MY BABY SISTER 1 of 2. I’ve missed you too! Sea life has been pretty kind to me to say the least. Not gonna lie, it’s a lot like the Suite Life on Deck when it comes to my co-workers. They’re a little wild now that we’re all closer. Well, I’m back for a week, out for a week, then back again for a while! How are you? What’s new in your life? Tell me literally everything.

Ugh, I’m always so jealous whenever you’re out at sea. Especially now that I know it’s like Suite Life. Back for a week then gone then back? That seems dumb, but that’s just cause I think you should be with us the whole time. We’re chill. There’s nothing really new going on in my life, though. I mean my October was kind of a shitstorm, but pretty much anything after my birthday was boring.

[maylene2x1-blog]

roscoe2x1:

Both. If you need a gym buddy let me know. Dedication is my middle name, and I’m great at motivation.

Good, I love seeing you slay.

I’m not gonna make any promises, we’re not even 2 weeks into the new year. But I definitely am going to need a gym buddy. And who better than Ms. 24/7 Grind, am I right?

Plus, now we’ll be able to take gym selfies together. Slaying x2.

[maylene2x1-blog]

GROUP TEXT || COMARO CREW

NICO: Hey fam!! Now that we got Captain Comaro back among us I'm thinking it's time for a family dinner! What restaurant should we get kicked out of next?? (just kidding Bea).

SONNY: IHOP. DENNY'S. SONNY WANTS WAFFLES AND STRAWBERRIES.

BEA: We haven't seen our brother in who knows how long, and breakfast is STILL your first answer, Sonam? That being said...I vote for The Old Spaghetti Factory, but I won't complain too much if I have to get the stuffed crepes from IHOP.

SAB: My vote's for giving the Old Spaghetti Factory a chance! Luckily there's another one in Chandler so if we get kicked out of this one, there's still a back up nearby... not that we should plan for getting kicked out. Or maybe we should, so there's a backup plan if anyone's hungry after we get booted. So, in that case, I still vote Spaghetti Factory as our first choice, and then IHOP if we need to relocate. I know where they all are in Phoenix 😏

MARINA: If all those fail my vote goes for pizza

[maylene2x1-blog]

TEXT🖕🏻ZACKIE

JACKIE: obviously something if you can quit being a brat for five seconds. i don't want to hang out for real. i have actual people for that.

JACKIE: your resources are basically unlimited and you know it lol

ZACH: Okay wow, I'm hurt

ZACH: You shouldn't be so mean to your supplier

ZACH: Maybe if I actually get you ice cream i'll make sure it's a shitty flavor now

[maylene2x1-blog]

TEXTS: NICO + MARINA

NICO: Gurus choice! How about you come by the pool house, we do some yoga by the pool, and I can whip something up homemade 👌 Denny's what?? IHOP who??

MARINA: Works for me! I want waffles that's for sure. Just saying.

[maylene2x1-blog]

roscoe2x1:

You can take as many gym selfies as you want, just send them to me. And keep going for the rest of the year. Dedication is important. 

Keep going as in keep going to the gym or keep taking gym selfies? Cause let me tell you, one is going to be way harder than the other. But also dedication in general is hard. I honestly don’t think I’ve done a single day every day consistently except breathe.

But don’t worry, you know you’ll always get my selfies.

[maylene2x1-blog]

TEXT🖕🏻ZACKIE

JACKIE: so yeah?

ZACH: what am i gonna get out of it other than less money and less gas in my tank?

ZACH: My resources are very important to me I can't just squander it all away

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nacho2x1:

Hey, guys. I’m back. But only for like a month until the next cruise. Where my family at? Text me. Strangers.. hello. My name is Isaac Camaro, youth club manager (among other things) on the Norwegian Breakaway. Don’t know what that is? Look it up. But, indeed, I am here. Sorry, I can’t really give away that many free tickets, but I surley can wave some prices. Get it? Wave. Haha, I crack myself up.

How’s everyone’s New Years? Mine was fantastic. Spent it in the ocean. As is most of my life the past two years.

ISAAC YOU’RE BACK! I’ve missed you. How has more life at sea been treating you? Is it anything like the Suite Life on Deck yet? How long will it be until you get your land legs back this time?

[maylene2x1-blog]

TEXT🖕🏻ZACKIE

JACKIE: no u perv i was just going to see if you wanted to buy me ice cream ffs

ZACH: lol you wild

[maylene2x1-blog]

roscoe2x1:

January is my personal hell. For the first three weeks of January the gyms are damn full of tools with new years resolutions they’ll drop as soon as they run out of gym selfie poses. Luckily I have myself a private gym  on lock. Just means I gotta ride a little further, but luckily my bike is great on gas. 

Excuse you, I’ve hardly taken any gym selfies. So far at least.