meatball-joe - Tumblr blog

[meatball-joe]

Discord has introduced microtransactions to make only specific users hear sound effects. Skype is back as a livestreaming platform. X is now marketing “twitter” as a paid-only private area to post in on X. There are clouds gathering above the field now. There’s an ache in your tooth when you eat something sweet, sharp and stabbing, but you put it off. The wind makes the puddles in the mud ripple after it rains. When you look out, you like to pretend they are deeper, deep enough to drown in. You wonder if you’d still be able to see just how big the cloud-heavy sky is as you fall beneath the surface. You wonder if you’d hear the first drops of rain. You wonder how the wind always seems to find you out there. The field is large, and it is cold outside. Come inside now. It’s getting late.

[meatball-joe]

[meatball-joe]

Chili is dogfood for cowboys

[meatball-joe]

Barack Obama walks into a bar, but he is invisible. 

After attracting the bartender’s attention, the bartender says "Ok, I'll bite. Why are you invisible?" Barack says "Well, I found a bottle on the beach and...then I rubbed it." "And then...importantly...A genie came out." "The genie said I could have...3 wishes." For my first wish, I said "Let me say this, and this is profoundly important...I want Michelle to marry me...I love her,...and I think America will love her too." That wish was granted. For my second wish, I said "Like all patriotic Americans, I am deeply patriotic...and I want to be President...of the United States...so I can serve my country." That wish was granted too. And then, for my third wish, I started by saying "Let me be clear..."

[meatball-joe]

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The 1st orders a beer.

The 2nd orders a half of a beer.

The 3rd orders a quarter of a beer.

The 4th begins to order, but the bartender cuts him off, saying "You guys need to know your limits." He puts 2 beers on the bar.

[meatball-joe]

BREAKING: the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox have been put in a "Freaky Friday type of situation" until they can learn to appreciate each other's perspectives.

[meatball-joe]

[meatball-joe]

*sobbing uncontrollably* the other mathematicians keep calling me 'trivial'

[meatball-joe]

*describing CPUs* yeah this rock is haunted by the soul of a mathematician and controls most parts of the world. we use our spells to make it play Fortnite,

[meatball-joe]

Make it your practice to withdraw attention from past and future whenever they are not needed.

Eckhart Tolle

[meatball-joe]

probably 98% of the time im thinking about muppets take manhattan

[meatball-joe]

Video games peaked in 2006 when in lego star wars the original trilogy, they couldn't have the iconic dialogue of darth vader telling luke skywalker he's his father because lego games didn't have dialogue at the time. So they just had to have vader point to a fuckin photograph of anakin and a pregnant padme

[meatball-joe]

My dinnar 💪💯❗💥

[meatball-joe]

I know a great joke about Fermat's last theorem, but this margin is far to small to contain it

[meatball-joe]

He needs a beer