medea-and-morticia

[medea-and-morticia]

I occasionally think about coming back here.

My life got so much better since I stopped using tumblr. I got a lot of help, I graduated, I started doing more art. 

But recently... I’ve been properly getting back into Lolita Fashion and I’d like somewhere to post my outfits where more people would see them, and I could start actual conversations about the fashion. 

Also, (and this reason is a bit stranger) I spent a huge chunk of last year playing in the best rpg campaign I’ve ever played in. It was pretty much a feminist deconstruction of Warhammer 40k, run in the Dark Heresy system. My character was an acolyte of a powerful inquisitor and... Well, I won’t get into it at length, but although I had no idea about this when I was given her character and just thought she was a really big mutant, she turned out to be part of this group of space marines from a chapter founded by one of the lost Primarchs and this whole thing just really struck my imagination and I’m a little obsessed with 40k now. (Especially the more satirical and ridiculous side of it.) 

I’m probably not going to make a 40k blog because DEAR GOD. The fandom really scares me.

Might actually make the lolita one though. Not decided yet. I have to decide if my mental health is solid enough that I can be back on here. TBH If I’m wondering, it’s probably not.  

[medea-and-morticia]

[medea-and-morticia]

Stefurn Meowniverse 🐾

[medea-and-morticia]

Tia and Lottie I did for someone <3

[medea-and-morticia]

Here’s something to chew on.

[medea-and-morticia]

#292 really hit home for me. I realized a long time ago that I measure my depression in suicidal ideations; some days it's hardly there, and some days I barely survive. It's a weird feeling when you realize that other people don't measure their lives by this on a daily basis, that there isn't ever a question of whether it's worth it to stay alive. Right now I'm doing okay. But I'm always terrified of the times when the ideation is overwhelming. It's always there, like a shadow.

Yeah, that pretty much nails it. This is why I really shy away from talk of “cures” and such, there is always the residue that you have to live with. Your brain got rewired to think this way, and it’s damn hard to return it back to the way it was. This is one of the uncomfortable truths with depression, that we’re not talking just damage to your life, we are also talking about the echoes that you hear for a long time afterward, calling you back.

[medea-and-morticia]

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAA

[medea-and-morticia]

it’s angry mako day

[medea-and-morticia]

I just have such a profound need for best friend to lover AUs when both sides think there is no chance of anything ever happening.

Sharing beds together since they were little kids and never really growing out of that habit even though it now hurts to be that close to each other, knowing it will never be anything more than platonic cuddling. 

Each of them being that one person the other goes to to feel better when they’ve had a shit day or date. Bonus if it’s 3am and they spend all night talking.

Neither of them realising how much they act like they are dating/married and getting super flustered or sad when someone asks how long they’ve been together because do you have to remind me of this painful unrequited torment I die a little more with every passing second?

How much they make each other smile when one of them walks into a room. 

Drunk kissing.

Practice kissing.

Going as each other’s dates to everything because it’s “convenient”. 

Wearing each other’s pyjamas when staying over somehow becoming more arousing than if the other person was naked. 

Having inside jokes and finishing each other’s sentences as casual as anything. 

Knowing random medical shit about each other. Bonus if one of them takes an allergic reaction to something and the other one just pulls out some random ass medicine like they carry it around all the time- spoiler: they do- just in case of this exact eventuality. 

The heart break of seeing each other with other people but doing their best to see it through with grin and with as much encouragement as they can muster. 

Staring a little too long at each other. 

The awkward moment when they reach the age they said they would marry each other if they were still single.

Getting fake married as kids and family members always reminding them about it , maybe going as far as to put on the video of the fake ceremony and giving them knowing looks.  

Something happening- a kiss, sleeping together- and getting into an argument about it, scared this is it, this is the end, that they’ve fucked up and just wishing they could talk to each other about it, to their best friend. 

Having the best black mail material on each other but ready to pounce on anyone else who so much as dares try black mail their BFF. 

Having a song. Having a whole playlist. 

Laughing the first time they have sex. 

Already having seen each other at their very worst.

Getting to say cheesy things like, “I can’t believe I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend” or “I know I’m marrying you but…do you think I could still be in charge of your send off party? I’ve been planning this night for ten years and I will not have someone else mess those plans up.” 

Even after years of being together, still being in awe of the fact they get to have the one person they thought they’d never get. The person they helped ask other people out. The person they used to give the “you deserve someone who loves you for you” speech to. The person they used to look at and wonder why does it have to be you? The person they look at now and think it could never have been anyone else. 

[medea-and-morticia]

[medea-and-morticia]

HEY WRITERS OF ALL KINDS AND AGES AND MAYBE EVEN DNDERS OR TABLETOP GAMERS ARE YOU READY FOR SOMETHING SUPER RAD? I HOPE SO ‘CAUSE 

RANDOM

MAP

GENERATOR

WITH

EDITING FEATURES AVAILABLE

IT DOESN’T REALLY DO LAND MASSES OR ANYTHING BUT IT SURE AS HELL WILL MAP THAT CITY/VILLAGE/SHIP/DUNGEON/WHATEVER THAT YOU’VE BEEN MEANING TO MAP OUT FOR YOU

SO FUCKING GO WILD

[medea-and-morticia]

[medea-and-morticia]

FINALLY #AvenueQ #musical (at Milton Keynes Theatre)

[medea-and-morticia]

I’d like to thank my friend Avistew Teague for translating this!

[medea-and-morticia]

This is my first text post here since I finished a six-week therapy course. I don't have much to say. The course was amazing. It has changed things for me so much, for real. I'm still not 100% fine, but I'm doing a lot better. I'm actually confronting my anxiety every now and then, and I'm actually enjoying human company. Actually, I can't get enough human company now. It's actually a bit awkward. I kinda faced my childhood loneliness for the first time, and now I'm painfully aware of how often I'm alone and hope uncomfortable it makes me. I basically spent the last few years building my life to be as alone as possible while still keeping people within arm's reach. Now I realise what I did, I just want people all time time. I'm still working out how to deal with THAT discomfort without suppressing it. Music and talking on the phone help. Yes, the phone. That thing that I never answered until recently. Life is good right now. Mystifying, but good.

[medea-and-morticia]

#Bathtime

[medea-and-morticia]

Since she's dead, I've started to change up Daria's makeup... (This was done in a rush with some shitty facepaint and fingers, I know it's not great.) The reason I did it at all is because as an undead thing, she has to keep her body functioning with her own will for it to stay fleshy. She hasn't been doing a great job at remembering, and thus has started to dessicate a little. #LARP #LRP #noflagnocountrylrp