meghannathanson

[meghannathanson]

The Sacred Pause (3.9.17)

I would not say that I was, "born ready," as a mother. I came into this journey with buckets of tenderness and a deep desire to get it right. But I was in no way prepared for the profound number of layers that I would need to pull back, the conditioning of so many generations I would need to shed and the depths of love I would have to unearth to become the person I've—on most days—come to be, both with my children and with myself. Because, you see, there is a deep correlation between the two. The way that we are with others is intricately woven with the way that we are with ourselves. The unfolding of this path did not happen over night. I don't know when it happened, exactly. Somewhere between the despair of a car seat struggle gone deeply awry and the arrival at the breathtaking realization that my children were not somehow born flawed or wrong, too-loud, too shy or not developing the way that they should—and neither was I, any of those things.  

Looking back, I can see that it was the repeated turning to spaciousness, to the breath—to the sacred pause—that has been my faithful guide. It was in—and it continues to be in—those spaces that I came to connect with a truer way of seeing. In those spaces, I discovered solutions that I hadn't thought of. No one had to be wrong. There was greater compassion in those spaces, forgiveness for my children, forgiveness for myself. I found that time didn't matter so, so much. And neither did what other people might be thinking of me. I'm too hard on them, on me. Too soft. I give too much, not enough. It was in those spaces—despite their expansiveness— that I discovered the astonishing brevity of life. I saw how fleeting it all is and how precious these times really are. It was in patiently tying a shoe for the 100th time, the calm intervention in a sibling squabble, it was in the mistakes too. My heart opened more fully and love poured through me more generously because of the thousand upon thousand little present moments of awareness that added up to something very big.

[meghannathanson]

International Women’s Day (3.8.17)

There is ample reason to point out that women are as capable as men. We can do math. We can create art and music and laughter. We can run and tackle and climb. We can work construction, be on the front-lines and fix your plumbing. We can love other women and raise children on our own. We can make scientific discoveries and invent things and make loads of money. We can speak up and be heard and march and teach. We can lead. We can heal you and ourselves. We can do all of these things and more. And yet, there must be a reason women came to life—and there is no denying it—differently than men. There must be a reason for the struggle and the privilege to birth new life—new thought—to have had to claw our way up out of an idea that we were somehow less adept at living and to be seen as capable of voting and holding jobs and having control over our own bodies and minds.

There are as many ways to identify as a woman as there are women. We are not to be boxed in. That would be contrary to our very nature—creative, and expansive and divine. Let us celebrate today those many ways that we go about the world making our mark differently. Let us remember the cellular make-up of the feminine experience and let us encourage our valuable men, too, to discover the existence of these qualities within themselves so that they might better see and understand our real place—not in the kitchen—though many of us give and thrive beautifully there—but on the global stage where we can do our part to bring to life less war, less famine, greater equality and a more cohesive planet for all. This is not a competition. We—the magnificent women of this world—are a critical component in the global equation for PEACE and EQUALITY for ALL.

[meghannathanson]

Study Them Now (3.7.17)

There was a time when I would write and my boys were still babes with chubby thighs and basic needs to be met. I would tiptoe from their rooms while they drifted into slumber, coming and telling about breathing through troubles and slowing my pace so that they might show me this magical world. Their arms and their legs have since lengthened along with their minds' expansion and I find myself with a mantra pulsing through me like a heartbeat, "study them now!" "Study them now," shouts the heart as I sense the momentum of their being growing and transforming them exponentially. When they come near, I give them my gaze -- the mail, the cooking, the great aspirations -- these things can wait. "Let me pick you up while I still can," I say to my biggest boy, gathering up his lankly body into mine and holding him near.

#StudyThemNow #GrowingLikeWeeds #StopTheTrain #MindfulMothering #SacredTimes #Mother’sMeditation

[meghannathanson]

River of Luminosity (3.6.17)

My ankle is on ice today, forced by a heavy log falling to temper my feverish pace to create. I've got a woman draped over a globe in the works, photos on my computer gone-missing, now found. There is an energy to be shaken up and separated so that I might get a glimpse of the angels in my midst. They say there really are no walls, no doors between us, and I believe them. Especially in the quiet, now, I can notice the humming of heaven beneath the purr of the heater, the purr of my cat. I know that more is there. I am thinking about what it means to my boys when I lock eyes with them in the purposeful act of intended listening. I don't just hear their stories meandering like the delightful brook streams that they are, but I notice, too, the way our energies line up just right and I can almost hear the whoosh of connection between us. I notice that they are delighted by the light as well when I find myself really, really there and so we linger with our eyes and with their stories and with this river of luminosity flowing between us. 

*Please visit my website, and join my e-mail list on the homepage to read more: www.meghannathanson.com  

[meghannathanson]

Let You Be Glad (3.25.16)

For you, let the roots in me grow deep and sturdy as a mint plant gone wild in my garden bed boldly. Let my love be relentless, taking root as immoveable, tangled stems of strength not to be untwined. Let my mind be sharp like rose thorns—peaked attention ready for the word of the divine, received without question—clear as the prick of brambles through soil stained gloves. Let my presence matter like the Spring gusts of wind that come, “I’m here!” “I’m here!” Let you be glad I am here. Let forgiveness live in me abundantly—pardons no fewer than the one thousand acorns released from Oak tree’s embrace. Let me be serene and yielding as the tides, responding always to the seasons of you, harmonious in my letting in and letting out of the cosmic flow of you. And let me most warm you like the near Spring sun after a lengthy Winter sun’s distance and darkness have lingered.

[meghannathanson]

Orange (1.8.16)

“Orange—I’ve decided—is the color of the soothing of souls. It is the color of warmth and comfort, of holding and forgiving. It is the color of new-beginnings—like green can be. Orange was Adrian’s 3rd-year favorite color, behind red and “lellow.” It’s funny, I’ve never before been drawn to the color orange like I am in this season. Now, I take it in with my eyes—with my whole body—like an elixir, soaking it up in the setting sun, in the images I work with, in the ember glow of a wood stove fire on an icy cold day. Our walls are grey, but—orange—orange is present when we come back into our home in the afternoons. It’s in our play. I feel orange in the preparation of a hot meal and the endless coloring, puzzle making and reading of books. Orange is Adrian licking the peanut butter and jelly off of his bread as I look on. It’s Jonah telling me a very long story at bedtime in a whisper—his voice still high and lilted—giggling out into the night air. Orange is cradling my heart—making it hardy—as I sift through old ways winnowing out what is worth keeping and discovering what must go.”

[meghannathanson]

New Year, New Breath (1.1.16)

“It doesn’t matter where you have been. It doesn’t matter where you are going. It doesn’t matter who you have been traveling with. Or whether you have been traveling alone. It doesn’t matter if you are well loved or love many. It doesn’t matter if you are bitter or afraid or longing. It doesn’t matter if you are falling apart or holding it all together. It doesn’t matter if you look beautiful or flawed or what size you are or whether or not your body has been working well. It doesn’t matter your age. There in your breath—this very first conscious breath of the New Year—is a revelation of peace and pace, rhythm, and the sumptuous nectar of living. It is both ancient and brand-new, mighty and gentle. There in your breath is your beloved. Follow it just as closely as you may. Notice its inception in your belly—wide and expansive. Notice how it propels upward, broadening your chest, your shoulders widening—neck lengthening, back opening. Notice the nourishment of your brain as you reach the very, very peak of your breath. Remaining there—ever so briefly—absorbing the cool cleansing of your mind, the vigorous unleashing of your heart. And just as you notice your lungs having reached their fill, allow for the exhale to flood forward, washing over you layer by layer by every-single-layer—shedding and releasing the brittle and the rigid, shedding and releasing the harsh and the cruel. Follow your breath—like an expanding and contracting wave—into the New Year, into the truth of you. Let your breath envelop you in every step—filling you up with its luscious bounty—and let it be your tender guide.”

[meghannathanson]

Leap (8.19.15)

“This day, this luscious, ordinary day stride—no leap, leap as fiercely as you may— through the dense cloaks of ancient distortions. Shed your crumbling veneers layer by layer by every-single-barren layer. And with each stratum dismantled, call out those gross untruths that you’ve been shouting at your poor, contemptible self. And in your exquisite undress—pink and salty, graced with dew—discover the delicate babe unguarded and safe within an enchanted land. Banished are the endless, bitter judgements, gone are the multitude of musts. Even your bones begin pulsing a testimony to the priceless singularity of your offerings. Here remains—the naturalness of an animal, the purity of a child, the wisdom of a tree, the significance of a beloved spec of sand. You. You are a sage.
“

[meghannathanson]

Morning Ritual (10.10.15)

“Arise early while darkness lingers. Shuffle about in preparation for the dawn. Strike a flame of reverence and then switch on your very own inner beacon—an heir to daylight’s quiet arrival. Sipping something warm, pour out your gratitudes, allowing your luminescence to swell in you, rising your thoughts upward for your day’s quest. Allow whispers forth and listen for the outward stretching of your soul’s expansion. I am here. I am here.”

[meghannathanson]

A Deeper Practice (7.9.15)

Of the many paths that I have traveled in search of inner balance, it is through a regular, devoted yoga asana practice that I have discovered an enduring calm and a sense of inner-spaciousness that informs all of my life, most of the time. Having practiced for nearly 20 years now, I have recently been contemplating what it is that has enabled me to deepen my practice over the years. I have come up with these 10 Suggestions for Elevating Your Yoga Asana Practice:

1. Breath Above All—Allowing your breath to be your most important guide as you go about your practice may open up a whole new world to you both on and off of your mat. Imagine the vastness of the Universe breathing through you, expanding your capacity for inhalation to that of the earth’s ability to take in oxygen. Imagine the mystery of your inner workings being breathed wide open with each in-breath and all parts of you—that aren’t you—falling away when you exhale. Notice the way in which this method of breathing follows you out of the studio and into the rest of your life. 

2. Lowering Your Lids—Bring your practice from a place of outside focus to an inner focus by drawing your eyelids closed as you enter into each new posture. With eyes closed, your face will soften, your jaw might fall open slightly. Find your attention in the space between your eyebrows and allow that spaciousness to settle into you offering you insight as you flow. 

3. Slowing Your Pace—It can be tempting to try to “keep up” with a class, with a teacher. Own your practice and move through your poses at a pace that coincides with your breath and in a way that is true to what you need. Yoga comes alive in the spaces that may be discovered through gentle transitions and deep inner-noticing. This cannot be rushed.

4. Balancing the Work Among You—I have recently discovered what it means to allow all parts of my body—and my mind— to share in the work of supporting each posture. Engaging all parts of your body and not relying on one joint or intersection to carry more than its share of the work has been a powerful metaphor for living a life of true balance. 

5. The Inner Connectedness of All Things—There is a whole inner world to be discovered if only given our attention. Committing to an hour or so of going within and experiencing the ways in which the various parts of our bodies work in union may transform the way we view ourselves and maybe even transform the way we view the world. I find myself in awe when I consider the length of my spine and the way that I feel when I allow it to be as long and straight as it was created to be all in coordination with my core muscles and the other various muscle groups that need to be engaged to make it so.

6. Consistency is Key—It can be difficult to come to the mat day after day with all of the many responsibilities and pressures of our lives.  And yet, there is a power in the cumulative effects of a consistent yoga practice. It is almost as if our body—and all that it holds—comes to trust us with this continuity and becomes more willing to reveal itself fully.

7. The Language of a Practice—I am regularly taken aback by the way in which I may learn about myself through my yoga practice. Sometimes when working through heart opening postures, I am met with the places in which my heart has become closed. A particularly inflexible day might represent an increased need for a more open mind. A willingness to be gentle with myself on the mat translates into a growing ability to show myself compassion. When I am paying attention, I almost always learn something from the way that my body and my mind meet together in asana.

8. As Gentle as Can Be—One of my favorite moments in a yoga class is just after Shavasana in which the teacher might suggest that yogis role from their backs over into a fetal position and spend a little time in the place where it all began. It is there that I meet myself most gently, engaging those parts of myself in need of healing—-the places that long for forgiveness, the places in which I feel injured, even my innermost child self can be found there in those brief moments. Bringing this gentle energy to ourselves in all parts of our practice can transform the way that we greet not only ourselves on a regular basis but also the way in which we greet the other souls who we come in contact with in the world.

9. Experiencing Your Limits—While at times it is important to experience a sense of striving in life and even in our yoga asana practice, it is equally powerful to know when practicing a posture at its most basic level is the work we are called to do. Sometimes, doing less and really sitting with and being content with the place where we need to stop can be transformative. There we may release the need to compete, to be better and instead be open to accepting ourselves exactly where we are. 

10. Asanas are Just the Beginning—Yoga is multi-faceted with eight limbs—or steps—to practice. There where years when I was a practicing yogi but only infrequently made my way to the mat. In those times, I was always devoted to learning and growing with the Yamas (ethical standards/integrity) and Niyamas (self-discipline/spiritual observances). Learning about these various aspects of yoga and immersing oneself in these other paths can offer insights into the many ways that we may grow as humans and a spiritual beings.

[meghannathanson]

Receiving from Source (5.12.15)

Life can be magical, contented and flowing if only we may pause and connect with our source energy prior to acting, speaking or deciding …. These are a few steps that I have found useful in opening up that channel and allowing it to come pouring forth as a gushing spring. Notice the calm coming over you—even when chaos abounds. Notice the clarity—even in muddy times. It can be tempting to look to gurus or books or scholars as our guides. And there is a time for searching out and acquiring knowledge. However, your premier guide is but a breath away. Have a little notebook handy when you begin this exercise.

1. Turn off or step away from your electronics. Sit quietly and take a deep breath releasing tension. Sit for a moment and make a little vow that going forth you will use your electronics more sparingly and that they will no longer be running you. Make a little vow that when things slow down, instead of looking to your phone, you will look to the sky, instead.

2. Close your eyes, now, and begin breathing deeply again. Stay with this for a little while until you feel things settling. Looking within notice the space between your eyebrows. Notice the sensation of your brain. Notice any pain you may feel in your head and allow that level to relax and release as well.

3. Imagine a light source that is reaching up through your spine into the Heavens and down through the bottom of your spine—your sacrum—into the Earth. Allow this light to reveal itself to you. Is it a white light? Is it radiating? Imagine this as long as feels comfortable and good.

4. Continuing to connect with your breath and perhaps the space between your eye brows, bring to consciousness the question of, “What shall I do?” Sit with this question for a few moments and notice any ideas that begin to appear. They may come to your in words or in images. Write them in your notebook.

5. Continuing to connect with your breath and perhaps the space between your eye brows, bring to consciousness the question of, “What is it that I need to know?” Sit with this question for a few moments and notice any ideas that begin to appear. They may come to your in words or in images. Write them in your notebook

This is my practice as I go about bringing my thoughts and ideas to life. I would love to hear from you and know about your experiences.  

[meghannathanson]

Untethered (3.24.15)

“What you’ll see if you watch carefully, is that you have a phenomenal amount of energy inside of you. It doesn’t come from food and it doesn’t come from sleep. This energy is always available to you. At any moment you can draw upon it. It just wells up and fills you from inside. When you’re filled with this energy, you feel like you could take on the world. When it is flowing strongly, you can actually feel it coursing through you in waves. It gushes up spontaneously from deep inside and restores, replenishes and recharges you. The only reason you don’t feel this energy all the time is because you block it. You block it by closing your heart, by closing your mind, and by pulling yourself into a restrictive space inside. This closes you off from all the energy.” 

“If you like energy, and you do, then don’t ever close. The more you learn to stay open, the more the energy can flow into you. You practice opening by not closing. Any time you start to close, ask yourself whether you really want to cut off the energy flow. Because if you want, you can learn to stay open no matter what happens in this world. You just make a commitment to explore your capacity for receiving unlimited energy. You simply decide not to close.” 

“How you learn to stay open is up to you. The ultimate trick is to not close. If you don’t close, you will have learned to stay open. Do not let anything that happens in life be important enough that you’re willing to close your heart over it. When your heart starts to close, just say, “No I’m not going to close. I’m going to relax. I’m going to let this situation take place and be there with it.” Honor and respect the situation, and deal with it. By all means deal with it. Do the best you can. But deal with it with openness.” 

—The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer

[meghannathanson]

Ancient Wisdom (3.10.15)

A practice worth engaging in …. 

"There are many ways to get children to behave as you wish. You can force, plead, and bribe. You can manipulate, trick, and persuade. You can use shame, guilt, and reason. These will all rebound upon you. You will be in constant conflict. Attend instead to your own actions. Develop contentment within yourself. Find peace and love in all you do. This will keep you busy enough. There is no need to control others." - The Parent's Tao Te Ching

[meghannathanson]

Notes to Self (2.11.15)

1. Whatever words I place behind the phrase, "I am" hold extra weight energetically. Whether I say them aloud or within myself, these expressions are coming to life moment-by-moment.

2. An inner mantra of always being able to "begin again," is powerful. It is life changing. We may always, always begin again. With ourselves and with others we have the opportunity to make amends and give things another go. 

3. A 10 Minute Morning Meditation opens pathways to deeper Inner Listening. Stepping forth after the silence (or even after the observance of many, many thoughts coming and going) allows for a different kind of day—a day with greater pause, a day in which we may intermingle with the Divine.

4. It matters greatly what we put into our bodies. Studying the ingredients in what we eat and listening to what really fuels allows us to make better decisions about food. These choices also contribute to our ability to balance our emotions and respond to others with loving kindness. Less sugar and less caffeine = less roller coaster of emotions.

5. I love my kitty, Autumn—who is nuzzling me now as I write this—and my two dear boys and my husband and lemon ginger tea. 

[meghannathanson]

A Meditation

“Forget about enlightenment. Sit down wherever you are. And listen to the wind singing in your veins.” — John Welwood

[meghannathanson]

Three Good Things to Watch

Water Dripping 

Last week I was traveling to an appointment when I suddenly realized that I was supposed to drop my car off for an inspection. I had to change directions, the loaner car that I was given was almost out of gas and when I arrived at my appointment one minute before I was supposed to, I felt anxious and ungrounded. In the waiting room there was a water cooler with a hot-water nozzle to make tea but there was no water bottle present and so to make tea I needed to allow a very slow drizzle of the left-over water in the machine to make its way out onto my tea bag. I crouched down comfortably and allowed that moment to begin calming me. I watched as the water came out so very slowly. I noticed the way the tea bag appeared when the water dripped onto it. I breathed. I settled into myself and I made tea. These moments in life in which we must wait, the stop lights, the long lines at the market, can be incredibly grounding, incredibly soothing if we allow ourselves to slow down, sink into our bodies and just take them in.

Your Breath In my mind breathing is incredibly underrated. It is that which ultimately allows us to continue living in this wild and magnificent and monotonous and exciting and lonely and loving and thrilling place that we call life. Sitting and closing my eyes, first deepening my breath and then beginning to watch and notice the circular nature of my breath—beginning to watch and notice all of the places my breath touches—I settle more deeply into myself. If all we do is begin to notice our breath, we begin to live more deeply, more meaningfully and with greater joy for all of the little miracles of being alive.

A Child’s Face There is no more lovely place than a child’s cheek. With your eyes, trace their lashes, notice the precious nature of their lips, the curve of their hair. Observe a child’s face when they laugh, observe them when they cry or protest or are surprised. Watch them especially when they are watching you. Watch them as they take it all in and learn from you how to live. There in a child’s face are his joys, his concerns and all that we need to know to help him along.

[meghannathanson]

Notes on Going Deeper

I have been thinking about what it means to go spiritually deeper and the ways in which we may, "get there." These are some of my notes ...

1. A new definition of prayer. A living prayer. A prayer of a single word: thank you.

2. Rising early and meeting the dawn. Establishing morning rituals that connect our feet to the ground upon which we walk.

3. A Practice of noticing. First noticing first our breathing and working our way out into the world.

4. Cultivating a practice of asking inward questions. Quieting to listen for insight. Turning to wonder. 

5. Connecting eyes. Making an effort to pause and connect with all who cross our paths before asking, accusing, demanding, needing, giving or judging.

6. Cultivating an inner spaciousness and noticing the way in which time may expand if we allow it to.

7. Noticing and allowing for our true essence to come forth. Protecting it and allowing for the essence of others to be accepted.

8. Tuning in to the many ways in which the world is speaking to us. Being open to the conversation. Listening for the whispers.

9. Allowing for assistance. Not trying to take-on the world alone -- unless that is what you are called to.

10. Discovering ways in which you may be of service to others. To the many in-need. Leading a life of, "how can I help?"

11. Sifting through belongings and noticing what you love and what serves you. Sharing the rest with those who will benefit from the excess in deeper ways. Taking good care of "things" leaving "things" better than you found them.

12. Reflection on times of fulfillment. Noticing the essence of what has created a joyful heart, a contented heart in your past. Take notes.

13. Cultivating a practice of stillness in chaos. Noticing the power of saying less and allowing more.