mei-isjust-a-witch

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

Like a new friend!

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

Which one is closest to yours? Mine is like 6ish-7ish.

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

sorry to post facebook videos on main but the sound of jello going through an industrial shredder is both mesmerizing and horrible

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

:(

:(

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

after the whole being Draxums henchmen thing fell through Huginn and Muninn tried to find another job but didn't really like any of them and were kinda having the same situation as April, so they figured they would just go back to Draxum. They didn't know how he would react but didn't want to risk it so they just started living under his bed. Them and Cassandra are now pretty good friends and they all have chats when they encounter the other sneaking

Guys I just had the funniest f*cking idea.

“I’m sure we can find something for you—“

*April opens (her?) Draxum’s closet door. Her eyes bug out, Cassandra is cramped in, limbs crooked and angled in odd places due to to the hanging clothes inside.

“Wha— WHY ARE YOU HERE?!” April screams loudly.

Cassandra hops out ninja style, does some dramatic poses before placing her fist against her palm in a bow. “I’ve been staying in the walls and apartment for six months now!” Speaking ‘professionally’.

“You’ve been living here in my apartment?!”

“CORRECTION! I live in the cookie factory where I’m the head CEO!” She screamed out. “I sleep on the couch. But I like to stay here on the weekends when the AC is down.” Going back to her ‘serious’ face.

April, jaw dropped. “Girl. You got issues.”

*cuts to montage of Casey Sr./Cassandra Jones quickly moving, always just out of sight.*

April leaves her closet, not sure what to wear/dejected. Walks off. And Casey quickly places a pretty outfit down on her bed. April comes back and lifts the out to her chest. “Ohhh~.” Loving it.

Oven, food on counter. Casey with ninja speed, takes a piece of each serving and stuffs her mouth in record time.

Person in bed. Rolls over. Camera smears up to Casey on the ceiling. A: limbs holding her up in the corner. B. She’s also snoring thanks to a cloth she strapped to it/breaking physics with ninja.

Draxum serves himself coffee and breakfest on the counter, walks off. Casey comes over and sips it then off. Draxum comes back in and his tired eyes suddenly widen.

*cuts back to April and Cassandra.

“Ok. In hindsight, I really should have caught on.” April mutters. Draxum nodds.

“Yes! You really should have! If you were an enemy you’d be DOOMED! Luckily, I was there to guard the both of you.” Casey replies, eyes shut tight.

“As concerning of behavior as the overactive ex-foot recruit is. It’s unsurprising.” Draxum spoke. And lest I remind you We have business to attend too.”

I don’t know what that business is. But I love this. ❤️

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

was not expecting that at all wtf

This is a consequence that really never gets brought up, and it really should be because of how damaging it can be.

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

Plot twist there is actually a monster in the woods and Miko and Five run into it because Miko got impatient and wondered around the woods and Five went with her

Mitch finds them covered in blood and debris and decides to never do this again

In the monster hunter AU Mitch refuses to take Five and Miko hunting with him at first because they have no training, until one day he finally relents and accepts their help in hunting the elusive dahu.

So they go out in the forest in the dead of night, and he gives the blueberries a bag and tells them to lie down on the ground and hold up the bag, and that he will hit the trees with his sword to scare the dahu towards them. “But be careful,” he says, “that thing is fast. You gotta pay very close attention, you can’t afford to zone out even if it takes hours to draw it out of hiding.”

Miko and Five take this extremely seriously, if they catch the dahu, Mitch will finally accept to mentor them. They hold up the bag between them and wait with bated breath as Mitch retreats into the night to bait the dahu out.

Once Mitch has walked through the entire forest and back to the clearing where they set up camp, he snorts and grabs the book he never got the time to read when the blueberries are always distracting him. With his luck, waiting for a creature that doesn’t exist to show will buy him at least a few chapters before the two buffoons bother him again.

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

the first thing Miko does after getting her build back is punch Wes

One time Wes from the Dabney store pranks Miko, Five and Mitch by swapping their skill trees and the end result was Miko with Five’s support build, Five with Mitch’s impossibly tanky shield and Mitch with Miko’s most brittle glass canon build. It goes something like this:

- Miko actually has more defense than she ever had before, and way less speed unless she remembers to give the boost to herself (she doesn’t). Her base attack damage plummets, and no one is getting buffed or debuffed, those quick slot boosts are for decoration only. Instead of trying to figure out how to play support, Miko grabs her swords from their shared party inventory and brute forces every fight. She gets hit more often, does ridiculously low damage compared to her usual and is overall Not Happy about any of it. After a bit she gets used to her limitations and becomes a very persistent fly you can’t bat away, taking tiny chunk after tiny chunk of glitches’ health bars. It’s a painfully slow process but it’s teaching her patience. Maybe.

- Five goes from the guy you have to protect in combat to the guy doing the protecting, it takes him a moment to adjust to the change in perspective but before long he’s settling in and getting accustomed to the basic boosts and debuffs available. He’s much more versatile than Miko, so he’s actually handling it pretty well. Paying attention for who needs what boost converts pretty easily into paying attention for who needs him to run in-between them and damage, so Five is doing just fine.

- Mitch has tried out many builds since he became a tech, but he’s never been a glass cannon before. He gets knocked out a lot at first because he can’t get it into his head to let Five take the hit. It’s really embarrassing for anyone watching when he very confidently steps between Five and a laser beam, toggles a shield that doesn’t appear and gets shot right between the eyes. When he does manage to stop doing that (and it takes Zahra showing him she has him getting sniped on video), he puts Miko’s insultingly high damage stat to good use, grabs a sword he hasn’t had the chance to use since joining the team and goes at it. He still gets too confident in his nonexistent defense and gets absolutely destroyed most of the time, but Five does his very best tanking the damage for him even though he runs towards it suicidal-style.

It’s chaos incarnate, they’re all yelling at each other, Mitch gets taken out so much he gets a concussion, everyone is super slow because no one is speed boosting more than five seconds at a time with a thirty seconds cooldown and damage is like that one favorite cousin you only see once a year. Phil wanted to let them spend a week like this to train them but he gives up after the first day and forces Wes to fix their skill trees.

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

her first crisis was her questioning the meaning of her existence and what this means for her identity

her second one was being devastated about the fact she has no lore or cool abilities, her second one lasted way longer and she never really got over it

Miko’s first existential crisis is that she’s a glitch and her second existential crisis is that she doesn’t even come from a game

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

sometimes I think about what I'll do when I'm not on the verge of falling apart...

I think I want to be able to play a story game without the dread that comes with commitment

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

i love thinking about the character! *actively pacing around the room, breathing heavily, on the verge of tears*

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

can you guys make my sisters rabbit famous. ok thank you

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

HAPPY MOON DAY!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

[mei-isjust-a-witch]

A new mode of production arises out of the newly networked masses.