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meiiie · 1 month

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This fic is actually beautiful what the hell this needs more recognition, i also love the way that this is ACTUALLY canonically feyd rautha... like if you see some other fics they don't actually write feyd rautha's mannerisms, characteristics, and his backstory (the childhood abuse & more) which is so sad because he's genuinely such an interesting character so people downgrading him as a sadistic, h0rny, tiktok thirst trap sounding ass guy who calls you pet names is so disappointing to see 😭

Me & My Husband (Part II)

PAIRING feyd-rautha harokonnen/f!atreides!reader

PART TITLE my love mine all mine

FIRST PART link :)

SUMMARY unsurprisingly, it doesn't take particularly long for you to produce an heir. the challenge arises with recognizing that you're going to have to inform your parents and brother - together.

WARNINGS still technically incest, mentions of violence, murder, feyd's canonical childhood abuse, and sex, early pregnancy and sickness

WORD COUNT 8.6k words

NOTES i'm going to try to follow through and name all of these after mitski songs, there should only be 4 or 5 parts i'm still deciding on that. either way, i hope you guys enjoy this one! and let me know if you want to be tagged in future parts, i'll write your name down in my gel pen diary <3

When you started to feel sick, you were almost positive about what the cause was.

The first night of being married, you were exhausted. You were hardly able to keep your head up from the moment you entered your new, shared, bedroom. So, that night, you just went to sleep with Feyd. You both made up for the lost time in the morning, and later that night, and just about every day that you possibly could Feyd was incorrigible when it came to sex, but you found yourself craving his touch even when you just felt it moments ago.

He held you in a way that made you want to be closer, that made you crave him when he was right beside him and miss him when he had something else to do.

It took about two weeks for people within the Harkonnen family to begin utilizing your talents with strategizing. You knew things about the Atreides’ that they didn’t know, and that was why they confronted you to ask about traditions for some sort of event that they wanted to hold now that the houses were seemingly united through marriage. It was after that occurrence that people came to you more often to ask for advice. You were good at what you did, and they knew that.

To be clear, you never took an authoritative role in the regime. Though you were more comfortable around the Baron than you were when you first met him, you were still nervous around him. He was incredibly authoritative, a lot more violent than anyone that you had ever worked with at home, and you had come to understand that he wasn’t always very kind to his youngest nephew.

Sure, he was nicer to him than he was to Rabban. You didn’t much care for Rabban, he was rougher than Feyd and intimidated you more than Feyd did. You knew that they had the same propensity for violence, yet felt more comfortable witnessing it when it was perpetuated by your husband than anyone else. Still, the Baron was harsher on his older nephew than he was with Feyd but that didn’t mean that he was exceptionally kind to your husband. He saw him as an asset, but he didn’t respect him. He saw him as lesser than, and it was clear that the mistreatment that he had endured from him had been something that he had been dealing with for a long time.

Feyd-Rautha was a lot of things, but emotionally vulnerable wasn’t one of the traits that you had noticed in him. He could be incredibly cold and distant, but he was never cruel to you like he was to other people. That’s not to say that your relationship with him was perfect, because no relationship could be categorized as perfect. You cared for him, and he cared for you in his own way that was different from the care you had felt from other people. But it worked, and you understood that some of his coldness came from something that he wasn’t willing to speak about, so you learned to accept it.

You, at some point that you couldn’t fully identify, had accepted that care was a bit more. It had been some time when you saw him interacting with his uncle, the division between them, and the way that his concerns were essentially brushed aside. It made you feel bad, but it also made you feel a sense of deep hatred for the patriarchal figure of the house that you were now married into. You wanted to protect Feyd, even though he could protect himself better than you ever could (Trained or not, Feyd-Rautha was one of the strongest fighters you had ever known, you couldn’t compare in that sense). It was at that point that you realized that you loved him, but when that love started was something that you couldn’t put your finger on.

It didn’t matter, though. Not really. He could be kind to you, but hardly gentle. Sometimes he was gentler than what you were used to, like the time that one of his assistants ‘looked at you’ in a way that offended him. He killed the young woman on the spot, and he was especially gentle with you at that moment. It was morbid, his unusual kindness while standing overtop of a corpse.

But he could be gentler than normal in other moments, too. He could be gentle when you wanted to lay with him in bed, when you believed that he was asleep so he didn’t notice the feeling of your fingers tracing over his smooth skin. The way that you traced his jawline, his cheekbone, his nose. Anything that you could get your fingers on, like you were committing him to your memory. It was far more affectionate than what you did when you believed he was awake, because it was in those moments it was clear that you loved him. You could kiss him when he was awake, rest your head on his shoulder, hold onto his hand (when he let you), and fall asleep on top of him. But this was something different, because you wanted until you believed he was asleep just to make sure that his features and the way that he feels is engrained in your mind.

The times that you’ve done this, Feyd has been awake for about half of them. His perception of threat is higher than yours, something yourself and your younger brother have always struggled with is making sure that you’re very attentive to threats. Keeping your back to the enemy or a door - you struggled with that, but Feyd didn’t. Your gentle touches woke him, but he stayed awake because he liked how it felt even if he would never admit it to you. He didn’t want to permeate the moment with his voice, to make you not want to do what you were doing again. He wanted to encourage you to keep going, so he did that through his silence.

It was an odd relationship to anyone who wasn’t involved with it directly. You were closer to Feyd than anyone could have anticipated. He wasn’t the most outwardly loving person in the world, he was wholly different in lifestyle and appearance from anyone that you had ever met. You, having been raised by your father, were nowhere near as violent as your husband - you had never killed before, where he had come to enjoy killing if he wasn’t born enjoying it to begin with.

Despite the sometimes more loving aspects of it, the relationship was just as sexual as it had been the day that you first slept with him. He enjoyed being intimate with you, and you enjoyed being intimate with him. It was a new experience for you, where it wasn’t for him. But it was nice, it was different most of the times you were together. He enjoyed doing new and different things, whether it be him trying something new to you or you trying something new for him. You both encouraged it, even if certain things ended up either being not something you ended up being interested in.

It really was only a matter of time until you did what you had been talking about in creating an heir. You never knew exactly when it was going to come, at at some point, things started to change within your body. You’d both discussed it at this point, the fact that you were going to have a child, what it would mean for your family, what it was going to look like when the child was born. There were a lot of moving parts to bringing a child into a dynamic like the one that your bloodlines had. Still, you were both more than willing to do it.

Whether Feyd was going to be a good father was something that you were unsure about, but he had his moments where he was gentle with you. There was no reason why he couldn’t, in turn, have those moments where he’s gentle with a child. Ultimately, your main concern when it comes to bringing a child into the world isn’t Feyd, nor is it wholly with your family. It’s with the Baron. Even without him opening up about it, it’s clear that the Baron has never been extraordinarily kind to his nephew. Him being consistently around your child is something that you’re not sure if you’re going to be very comfortable with, but something that you understand you’ll just have to grow to live with. If anything, some part of you is secure in the knowledge that if the man tries anything, your husband won’t let him go through with it.

That was something that you had noticed with Feyd. You were going to have to be in the same place as the Baron at times, but he never seemed to like it. He preferred being there if you were going to have to be there, he always kept you at his side, and he seemed to tense up if the man lost his temper in front of you. You appreciated it, not just because it made you feel more comfortable, but because it made it clear to you that he cared.

When you started feeling sick, he was occupied handling business elsewhere. Though you were certain that, if you were pregnant, you could not have been very far along - that didn’t change the fact that you knew that you wanted to visit Caladan before making any visits to a doctor. So, you waited. You weren’t going to call him to urgently come back, you knew that it was rare that he was tasked with anything political since he was predominantly seen as a fighter. He needed his time, and you weren’t going to be any less pregnant by the time that he got back.

That was how you ended up where you were right now, sitting by and waiting for him to arrive. The wind didn’t blow on Giedi Prime like it did in Caladan, and there was no rain covering your flesh as you watched. Aircrafts landed, and each one, you hoped would be Feyd. He was supposed to return within the hour, but you were growing impatient. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes since you were told to wait outside by Piter, whose peculiar expression told you a lot. You were visiting Caladan to confirm with your mother what you believed to be true, but the mentats look made you wonder if the visit was necessary for anything other than sentimentality.

Still, it was important. Not just for you, but for Feyd. You had visited Caladan with him one time, and it was shortly after you moved away. You went with him to make sure that anything you needed had been moved, and because your father wished to speak to him once more before you were to live with him for the rest of your lives. It was sentimental, traditional. This was no longer a surprise, as the message that you both would be taking a trip to Caladan had been passed along to your husband and your family the prior evening.

It was difficult to go to Caladan with him, though. People were instantly interested when he walked in; interested and terrified. His demeanor was so different from that of the people on Caladan that he stuck out like a sore thumb. But his reputation, the reputation of his family, it was all something that people on your home planet had come to fear and despise. You had heard numerous people, women and men alike, talk your ear off prior to your wedding. Many questioning your safety, others believing that you had lost your mind. Just stepping foot on the planet, people looked at you differently, but doing it with Feyd was a whole different can of worms. Change was never easy, though, so your hope was just that people could adjust to a new peace being formed once they were used to his presence in your life.

Eventually, the sight of him exiting a ship had you moving from your position leaning against a nearby wall. The dull colors on Giedi Prime were something else that you had to get used to. The blues and greens of Caladan were something that you were incredibly familiar with, but there was no color here. Sometimes, in certain lighting, things could appear almost navy blue. But the entire planet was black and white, especially outside. It was an adjustment for sure, but not one that you particularly minded.

“Are you alright?” You hadn’t expected him to actually walk over to you, since you were both just getting back on the ship that he had just exited. But his hands were on your shoulders, holding you a bit away from him so he could make sure that there were no visible wounds on your body. When he noticed nothing, he took to observing your face for any signs of distress.

“I’m alright, we just need to visit my mother.” You responded, placing your hand on his cheek. He let you, but he didn’t show any particular emotion upon feeling the physical affection. He still looked rather worried, “It’s nothing bad, I need- we need to go, though.”

Feyd moved back, allowing you to take his hand. The planet’s temperature was so different from the one you were used to, as well. Is was temperate, never too hot, never too cold. At least, not as long as you had been there. Back on Caladan, it was rather cold for a while. You were so used to feeling the wind whipping against your skin at this time of year that you wanted to huddle into him for a warmth that you didn’t need. Especially with you being so nervous about what you’re about to confirm.

“I would have come sooner, the man I was speaking to was being…defiant.”

“Has he been brought here for further questioning?” Further questioning meant torture, to put things plainly. Sometimes, if the Harkonnen’s really dislike someone, they’ll bring them in for torture and said person (if they can fight) will be brought into gladiator-style fights with Feyd.

“No, he’s been taken care of.” He responded, sitting down with you and watching as you buckled yourself in. He seemed to be observing you a lot more closely than what you were used to, like he was still trying to figure out if there was something wrong with you that he just couldn’t place.

“Feyd, I’m healthy.” You responded, turning to face him fully. Your hand was still placed upon his, and you slowly glanced down towards your stomach. “I believe there may be… more people with us.”

“Ah.” His response was more of a noise than a formed word. Half ‘ah’, half ‘oh’, and something else. He was fixated on your stomach now, his free hand moving to rest on it. You weren’t showing, your body hadn’t changed much as of yet. You weren’t far enough along to have any physical changes. Anything that had changed was internal, and those internal changes were thus far just making you feel a bit sick.

“My mother can confirm the pregnancy, and the gender of the child.” There was a more sentimental reason, “I know Piter can do the same, and probably any medical doctor, but I wanted it to be family. And I could have gone yesterday, but I wanted you to be there.”

“I want to be there.” He spoke as though you were nervous, which you were. You were nervous because he wasn’t a very emotional person, and you were confiding in him that you wanted him specifically to be present for something that wasn’t even the birth of your child. But he wasn’t opposed to it, he held your gaze once his stare departed from your stomach. “This is our child.”

“It is.”

He moved his hand from your stomach after a moment, resting it upon your cheek before pulling you into a kiss. You responded in kind, allowing your fingers to tighten around his hand. The kiss was more affectionate than what you anticipated. You knew there would be passion, but it almost felt like there was love coming from more than just yourself. It was almost overbearing, but it felt right. You liked to have him this close, to be able to feel like he loves you even if you’re still unsure if he loves anything at all. At the very least, he cares for you. And it feels nice to have a reminder like that.

Pulling back from it, you wasted very little time in placing a head on his shoulder. He let you, he let an arm wrap around you to make the position more comfortable. It was odd to sit here with the knowledge that you were pregnant with his child, that it wasn’t just the two of you and the other men in the ship (who wouldn’t dare speak without first being spoken to in this situation anyway) that were present. You weren’t one hundred percent sure that you were pregnant, not without expressed confirmation, but you were close enough to being positive that it didn’t really matter.

The ride was mainly silent, but it didn’t take very long. At least, it didn’t feel like it took very long. The hard part was getting out on Caladan. Exiting a Harkonnen ship wasn’t fun in front of people who didn’t take very kindly to them. Of course, you understood why. There was a reputation - that you knew to be true - about Harkonnen’s. They were violent and cruel, your husband was violent and cruel. Yet, you still cared for him. It was something that you didn’t even fully understand, so you really couldn’t expect anyone else to. Still, it was a challenge to exit the ship. To feel the cold not just from the air, but from the people who no longer saw you as an equal because of who you decided to marry.

As you stepped out of the ship, you interlocked your arm with Feyd’s. That natural inclination to huddle to him for warmth proved to be needed here, and the moment you were exposed to the air you knew a frigid and wet cold would settle into your bones by the time that you got inside. But, it was also the mere fact that the watchful and tense gazes of the people who used to think so highly of you was something that made you feel insecure. Being so close to Feyd gave you a sense of security, it made you more comfortable.

“Are we just meeting with your mother?” He questioned, looking over at you as you guided him toward the warmth of the indoors. Truthfully, you weren’t one hundred percent sure what the correct answer to his question was. You were here to meet with your mother, but Paul and Leto were around somewhere too. It wasn’t wholly unlikely that they may want to see you, but they might not wish to see Feyd unless they absolutely have to. Despite the marriage, nobody in your family seemed to be overly fond of him.

“I think so, I’m not sure.” You replied, turning to hold his gaze. His eyes were naturally dark, but something about that darkness had come to be comforting to you. You enjoyed being around him, you enjoyed the way he looked at you. He had a cold demeanor, but he let you hold onto him and kept his hand firmly against your forearm as you walked with him.

“This weather is abhorrent.”

“It’s not that bad when you’re used to it.” It was still horrible, but you imagined that it was worse for him since he wasn’t used to the cold, wet temperatures on Caladan. “It’s still kind of awful, but not as… startling.”

“These people look at you like they want you dead.” His tone was rougher, and you had to keep a hand pressed against his arm to stop his naturally violent nature from coming out. He seemed to not take very kindly to disrespect of any kind, whether it be directed at you or himself. This wasn’t surprising, but it also wasn’t the place. He cold kill someone if he wanted to on Giedi Prime, but your family wouldn’t take a murder lightly.

“You cannot kill them.”

“So they do want you dead?”

“Maybe.” You replied, not feeling as though there was any reason to lie to him. “They don’t like you, and they don’t like that I chose to marry you.”

“You should allow me to kill them.” He replied, though you were quick to shake your head. “At least one.”

“Don’t tease, you can’t kill people here. Kill someone back home, you won’t get us in trouble for that.” You replied, a small smile on your face even though some part of you knew just how morbid of a conversation this was. You were speaking lightly about the idea of your husband murdering someone, assuredly this wasn’t how your mother spoke to your father. But this was just how the two of you interacted, it was who he was.

Finally reaching the bedroom that was once your own, the one room that you knew would be private from the people in silent protest outside, you found your mother sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Took you long enough.”

“We had a slight delay.” You responded, politely closing the door. Though you didn’t fear your mother, you remained close to Feyd. She wouldn’t harm you, but she may dislike seeing him even though she had ample warning that he was going to come.

“You could have come on your own, I’m sure.” She responded, but before either of you could protest the disrespect she spoke again. “But, you wouldn’t be on your own, would you?”

“So I was right? I’m with child?”

“Yes, you’re with child.” She responded, standing before the both of you. Noting the way that Feyd’s jaw tensed, you recalled the relationship (or lack thereof) that he had with his own mother. He didn’t like the way that she disrespected your relationship, nor the way that she disrespected him. But he kept his mouth closed, for now, at least. He was struggling to, but you appreciated the effort that he was taking to not do anything that would come in between the moment that you needed to have.

“Can you tell the sex?”

“A boy.” She responded, her hand placed around the same area of your stomach that Feyd’s had been. His eyes were locked on you, no longer watching the woman in front of you both as he came to terms with the idea of having a son. “You’re about a month along. His child, obviously.”

“What does this mean for our houses?” You questioned, allowing her to take a step back as you moved closer to Feyd. He moved to wrap his arm around you, allowing you to stand against him.

“The Bene Gesserit have… anticipated this.” She admitted, though she had never said anything before about you being intended to marry Feyd. “At some point, there was mean to be a marriage between our houses.”

“But-”

“You chose to marry him on your on volition. You clearly love him, but I’ve been told that you were supposed to.” There were a lot of things that she just wasn’t saying to you, but you didn’t expect her to tell you everything. It wasn’t in her nature, or the nature of the Bene Gesserit, to divulge such things. They were always very secretive, so this was being open for her. “I don’t know, but it won’t be a bad thing. That’s probably more of a question for your father, than for me.”

“Is he here?”

“He is.”

“Will be allow my visitor?”

“He can’t refuse your husband at the door.” She responded, before stepping closer to your own door. “I’ll give you both a moment.”

The moment you were alone, you could feel the tension starting to drain from your body, from the room. You were alone with Feyd, you were allowed to be honest with him and not think about anything else. Well, you could think about your mother saying that you loved Feyd to his face. That wasn’t something that should have meant anything. You were married, of course you loved him. But you had yet to say that to him, and it was something that you weren’t sure if he was just going to gloss over.

“You’re giving me a son.” He responded, allowing you to turn around so you could look at him.

“It would appear that I am.”

His lips twitched for a moment. An overwhelming amount of emotions, a flicker of a smile. You could almost never be one hundred percent positive what emotions were being displayed when you were standing in front of Feyd-Rautha. He was difficult to read. The only thing that was ever particularly clear on his face was anger, but even that you would have a difficult time with sometimes.

Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, you expected him to do the same. But he moved to kneel in front of you, his hands parting your thighs. The movement was often sexual, but at the moment, he was being careful. You didn’t say anything, knowing that it would be a bad time to have sex if that was what he was going for. But it wasn’t. He leaned forward to press his head against you, his ear pressed slightly against your stomach. It was too affectionate, too loving for what you were used to.

But you went along with it anyway, placing a hand on the top of his head and allowing your fingers to trace his skin just like you liked to do when he was asleep and couldn’t feel it. You could feel a fluttering sensation in your chest, even though he was doing what he was doing so he could be closer to your child. The child that you would both raise together. The child that you had questions about whether or not he would be good to them. Questions that felt like they were answered as you watched just how tender he could be in the moments that he wanted to show you tenderness.

“Do you love me?” He questioned, his head still resting on you. There was a vulnerability in his voice, a wound that had not yet been opened. He had a tough upbringing. You were at peace with your family, though growing up with a Bene Gesserit mother was never easy. Growing up with Leto was easy, he was kind-hearted and encouraging, but it became difficult as you got older and recognized that his kindness could put him (and, subsequently, the rest of your family) in danger.

Feyd didn’t have an upbringing like that. He had disagreements with his mother, disagreements that ended with him killing her. Matricide wasn’t particularly common in anyone, young men or women alike. The fact that it happened at all spoke to him, but it spoke to how he was raised as well. The Baron didn’t love him, not really. Not in a way that was wholesome, or genuine.

The Baron was cruel and abusive, you never knew what the extent of his abuse was, but you knew that it most likely played a part in making the man sitting with you as cold as he ended up being. You knew that he had never had a lot of love growing up, and that was something that often pained you to think about. But the man didn’t like sympathy, and he didn’t like feelings. He didn’t really have a whole lot of feeling to express, but it was important to remember that there was still humanity in his actions. There were reasons that led him to becoming who he is, and that’s something that you had to grapple with as you got closer.

“I- yes- I do, I love you.” It’s not something that you believed that you were ever going to utter, not to him at least. But it was the truth. You had no idea when the feeling started to develop, but you knew that you loved him. Whether or not he loved you was something different, but he seemed to soften upon hearing the admission. It was as though it was something that he had been waiting to hear, even if he was simply too prideful to admit something like that to you.

“Why?”

There was definitely some vulnerability in his voice now, but there were layers to the question. He couldn’t understand why you would love someone like him, but that had much to do with his actions and much to do with the fact that nobody else really seemed to love him. The people on Giedi Prime, the people who watched him fight, they loved him because he was a good representative of their people. But that was a different kind of love, it wouldn’t fill his heart with anything other than pride.

“I don’t know.” Honesty, but not the best answer. “I don’t know why I love you, but I don’t think anyone knows why they love anyone or anything. It just happens, there’s no good explanation for it.”

A beat of silence, but he has yet to move from his position against you. His fingers grip onto the fabric of your coat, and you bring your free hand to rest on his hand and play with them.

“You’re violent, you’re cruel, you do horrible things; I’ve never killed anyone with my own hands, but I’ve allowed you to kill so many people in front of me that I might as well have.” You replied, your fingers gripping onto his. Feeling the roughness of them, compared to his skin that was rather smooth and soft in all other areas. “But you’re not violent or cruel to me, I feel safe with you. I like talking to you, I like… your presence, and your touch, and the way that you make me feel. I can’t tell you how I started to love you, or why, I just know that I do. And you don’t have to say it back, you know.”

The thing was, he had already said it. An argument could be made that he had said it non-verbally to you through his actions. Through his physical touch, through his willingness and desire to be closer to you. He almost never initiated the touches unless they were leading to sex, but he was always willing to comply if you wanted to be closer to him physically. He allowed you to peacefully memorize his features, and get as close to him as you wanted to be. He did these things because he loved you, even if the idea of love was something that confused him because he didn’t see himself ever experiencing it.

But it wasn’t just that, it wasn’t just his non-verbal actions. Feyd had a few people that he loved you, just not in a conversation with you in the room.

He had been in a fight with a man on Giedi Prime who approached him. The rules there were a bit different, and people were more relaxed about the boundaries that were typically considered normal where you come from. He, essentially, asked him if he would be willing to share. Feyd was offended by this, but the other man didn’t really understand why. He clarified that he loved you, but the man involved didn’t live to tell the tale since he continued to argue and ended up being killed.

The second time was in a conversation with his uncle. It wasn’t too long ago, and there were only a few servants in the room when he said it. It really just came out of him, without much thought put into it. He was talking to his uncle about his relationship, about when he was going to produce an heir, about what kind of heir his uncle wanted it to be. He was talking business about something that he really no longer considered to be a business transaction. His uncle accused him of being too soft about the whole ordeal, but he still believes that he was just speaking to hear himself speak. He was having sex with you pretty much every day, it wasn’t like you weren’t giving yourselves the opportunity to have a child.

Still, he lashed out a bit. When he lashed out, he said that he loved you. He didn’t even fully realize what he had said until afterwards, and after that it was too late for him to take it back. Of course, if he was taking it back it was just so he didn’t appear sensitive, but also because he wasn’t sure how this was something that he was feeling. He didn’t feel any real love for his uncle, or for the people who worked for him, or the people who he worked with. Many of the people he worked with, he didn’t even remember their names. If they died, they died. And if he killed them… well, that would just be too bad for them.

He did love you, he was just never quite sure how to get that message across. He didn’ understand it, or why, or how it started. He knew that he cared about you, that he liked being around you, he just didn’t quite realize the extent of that care until it smacked him in the face. The feeling of it was overwhelming. Shocking, even. He had never been a loving person, but he felt like it was true. Like it was right.

If you were to not just go through the pain of carrying his child, but raising his child, he should be upfront about that. He had no interest in rectifying the past, he felt little to no remorse about what he did when he was younger. However, he knew that you deserved to have someone who was going to help with parenthood - who would actually be there. How could you feel secure - which, he noted, is something that’s important to you - if you didn’t even know that the father of your child and the man whom you married loved you? It almost felt like he had a duty to say it.

“I want to.” He replied, moving to stand in front of you. Your hands slipped from holding onto him, but he left his pressed against your face. There was always that almost emotionless expression on his face, but he seemed to be having emotions. Emotions that he probably didn’t like, that neither of you could really understand. But they were emotions nevertheless. “I love you, you deserve to know that.”

The words coming from his mouth were overwhelming at best. You never thought he would say them to you, nor that you would say that to him. You wanted to marry him to begin with because you wanted peace. But then you went through with it because you liked him. Going from that to love isn’t something that you ever could have anticipated, but it isn’t something that you want to fight, either.

Moving up from your spot on the bed, he stumbled back a bit so he could give you room to stand in front of him. His face was so nice to touch, his skin was so smooth, so beautiful to you even if he wasn’t to anyone else. Even his mouth, so different from your own, fascinated you and made you want to be closer to him than you already were.

“We’re going to be good parents.”

“I think so.” He replied, but he had no way of knowing that. Neither of you did. You wanted to believe that you would be, but you both had numerous issues that were entirely out of your control. Some were in your control. His violent tendencies were something that would need to be kept in check around a child, for instance. However, there were other things you couldn’t control. The division between your houses, the violence that the Baron perpetuates and the fact that you could never fully trust him because of that and the way that he tends to treat Feyd and has treated him in the past.

“Did you want to have a conversation with my father-”

“Do we really have a choice?”

“No, no.” You did not have a choice. If he wanted to speak to you, he was going to speak to you. He wasn’t going to be harsh, or mean, but you knew that it was going to be tense because he would have a difficult time masking his distaste toward your husband. He could be civil, but you doubted that he was going to extend his typical kindness to a Harkonnen no matter how much you liked him. “No killing.”

“Will they notice?” He spoke with genuine curiosity, because it was true that they wouldn’t notice on his home planet. On Giedi Prime, if he killed someone it more than likely would not go back to the Baron. But that wasn’t the case here. If he killed someone on Caladan, it would get back to your father. It would get Feyd in trouble, it would get you in trouble, and it would cause a division that you didn’t want to deal with. In the past, you were primarily concerned with the idea of making sure that you didn’t marry for no reason. Now, the idea of choosing between your husband and the family who raised you just seems impossible.

“Unfortunately, people notice murder around here. And you, my dear husband, will be suspect number one.” You replied, finally exiting the door to find a few guards waiting for you.

“You’re both expected in the dining room.” There was tension in the man before you as be spoke. He wasn’t too tense to speak to you, but he did not wish to speak to Feyd. That should have been where that ended, but there was a grumble that left him. Something under his breath as he turned around about your husband, something derogatory that you knew wouldn’t stand with Feyd if the roles were revered.

“I would ask you, soldier, to not speak ill of my husband - know your place.” It wasn’t much like you to speak down to the soldiers, you never had before. But you were tired of them speaking down to you, tired of the way that everyone around here was staring at you like you couldn’t feel their gaze.

“My apologies.” He seemed worried, as though the violent nature of your husband had somehow become your way of living. But you let him go, and allowed yourself to walk to dinner with Feyd beside you. He was silent, mainly, until you reached the entrance.

“Thanks for that.” He responded, turning to look at you.

“You would have done something similar.” Something similar, because he would not have done the exact same thing. He would have killed someone for speaking ill of you on Giedi Prime, and had you been home, he would have killed them for speaking ill of himself too. But he wasn’t there, he was on Caladan. He abided by your rules, and you used your own methods to defend him.

Moving over a bit, you pressed a kiss to his cheek. It was gentle, as affectionate as you could manage. But he was quick to turn after a moment, to press a quick kiss to your mouth before entering the dining room. Within it, you could see your mother, father, and brother. Each of them looked at you differently than they did before you left, but each of them still seemed offended by the presence of your husband.

“You invited him to dinner, don’t give him that look.” You mumbled, sitting in the open seat beside your father. You were across from your mother, where Feyd was across from your brother.

“I wished to question what brought you here so urgently.” Your father asked, but he knew the answer. He knew why you came out of the blue. He wanted to hear you say it because it was something that was a big deal to all of you, and something that he could use to apply pressure on Feyd. You came quickly, because you needed to speak with your mother who has the ability to sense things that others can’t. You needed to be here with your husband, when you hated the idea of bringing him here just so people can glare at him. It was clear what your purpose was, but he still had to ask.

“I had a… suspicion that I’m with child.”

“Was that suspicion correct?”

“Yes, it’s a boy.”

“And is it his?”

“Who else’s would it be?” You replied, raising a brow. But you pushed your hand over, taking the hand of the man sitting beside you into it. Feyd was quiet, but he wasn’t quite sure what to say. You respected the way things were done in his home, and he was doing his best to respect the way that things are done in yours.

“How far along are you?”

“About a month.” Feyd’s fingers played with yours under the table, and it took a lot out of you to not move closer to him. The scrutiny in the gaze of your own direct family was making you impossibly nervous, but you had to stand your ground.

“Have you anything to say, Feyd-Rautha?” He could never just call him Feyd, it was too casual. You gave him props for not spitting out the entire ‘Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen’ every time he spoke in reference to him just to make sure that he was as far away from close with him as possible. But he had allowed you to marry him, to make the difficult decision for the betterment of your families and the prosperity of the known universe. If it was a real problem, he should have said. But even then, some part of you believed that you would have married Feyd regardless. His distaste for your husband isn’t a fault of your own, nor of Feyd’s. At least, in your eyes it doesn’t fall on either of you.

“Your daughter and grandchild will never want for anything.” He confirmed, speaking after a moment. A strong declaration considering the ever-changing political landscape. He could end up being a lot busier than he is now, and not know about it until it happens. There is also always the possibility that he would die in battle, though that is something that you wish to avoid thinking about. As strong of a fighter as he is, Feyd is constantly in some kind of danger. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to be worried for his safety, as you often are.

“How can you promise that?” Paul was the one to question him from across the table, he was the person displaying the most outward animosity toward the man sitting beside you. Regardless, nobody stopped him. He was allowed to speak, and you were both allowed to be uncomfortable sitting beneath the scrutinous gazes of the other people at the table.

“As long as I’m alive, they’ll be taken care of.”

“Since when do you want to be taken care of?” His gaze turned to you, but he wasn’t wrong to question it. You never really liked the idea of people doing things for you before, but that was a part of a marriage. You took care of each other. It was a bit harder to take care of someone like your husband who never really seemed to need anything (especially in terms of protection) but you took care of him in whatever way you could.

“Since I got married, I take care of him too.” The most older sister ‘you’ll understand when you’re older’ answer that you could possibly muster, but the correct one regardless.

The food was brought to the table shortly after, but it didn’t make things any less uncomfortable. Feyd was very prideful, he wasn’t going to shrink under the gaze of your family and it took a lot out of him to subdue his natural way of being. But making things worse wasn’t going to help anyone. It wasn’t going to help him get where he wanted to be, it certainly wasn’t going to help in terms of people disapproving of your being with him. Ultimately, your parents didn’t like him. They didn’t like his family, they didn’t like the way he was, and they still felt like you were in danger when you were with him because of his temper and violence.

But they also understood that this was something beneficial. Your father never would have agreed to your question about meeting him if he didn’t know that it was going to be good for the houses. It had been, thus far, good for the houses. Relations weren’t perfect, but there had been no threats or feeling that there may be an attack. No war-talk, nothing that had been happening before. To be clear, there was no saying how long this bit of peace was going to last, but it has been beneficial to them thus far.

Plus, it’s been beneficial to Feyd. His family has control over spice production, but Rabban has a bit more control than he does. He’s older, he’s been doing it for longer, but if Feyd can help unite the houses through being married to you, he could get more power and recognition than he already has. It’s beneficial to him too, so he understands that he had to act normal at least when he’s meeting with your family who won’t take too kindly to him otherwise. If his attitude starts a war, he might never see the light of day and he’s positive that you won’t either.

“How can you promise to keep her safe from your uncle.” Your father questioned. You couldn’t blame him, neither of you were particularly comfortable with you being around his uncle. But it was also an odd question to ask considering the implied disrespect that came along with it. The Baron was incredibly dangerous, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t still disrespectful to insinuate that you were unsafe with him around to his nephew’s face. Still, it was better than outright admitting that he also believed that you were unsafe with your own husband.

“If my uncle knows what’s best for him, he won’t lay a finger on her.” He seemed rather tense, and you understood why. He had a complicated relationship with his uncle, he knew first-hand the capacity for violence he had even with the people who were closely related to him. “I believe he understands that touching her will lead to his death.”

“He’s telling the truth.” Jessica commented after a moment, but you were sure that she knew about what happened with his mother. He wouldn’t think twice about killing family if he must. However, she also seemed to be thinking more critically about it. About his mannerisms, about the way that his fingers tightened their grip on your hand under the table. He was telling the truth, he would do whatever he needed to do to keep you safe. Besides, if he played his cards right, killing his uncle could get him in power.

“You’re willing to kill your own uncle to protect my daughter?”

“I’m willing to kill anyone I have to, to protect your daughter and our child.” Truthfully, he had been willing to kill anyone in general regardless. But he had also been willing to kill anyone he needed to if it kept you safe before today when he found out that you’re pregnant. He’ll do what he has to do, there’s no doubt in your mind about any of that.

There was another lingering question, the mere fact that your parents believed that Feyd himself was a danger to you. Feyd was dangerous, he killed people without thought, he killed people for his own pleasure. He did what he did and he had no intention of changing it for any reason, but there was no part of you that believed that he would ever actively put you in danger. He did his best to keep you safe when he could, and seemed awfully protective over you even though he didn’t really have to be - it wasn’t an obligation for him, his family didn’t expect it from him. He just did what he felt was right.

That question went unasked though. Feyd’s answers were satisfactory. You knew, even when you both left for the night and your father begrudgingly shook his hand, that there was never going to be a completely normal relationship with him and your family. This partnership might have the intention of setting up peace for future generations, but you were both going to have to be the ones to deal with that setting up. For your child, you whomever Paul has a child with.

As you got back on the ship, you couldn’t help the breath that you let out. It wasn’t that you weren’t comfortable on Caladan. It was familiar, it was the home that you had known your entire life up until three months ago. You weren’t just more comfortable on Giedi Prime, you were just more comfortable without the odd stares of the people around you. People on Giedi Prime couldn’t look at you strangely, the ones who did would end up dead. But people didn’t have that authoritarian threat looming over their heads on Caladan. They could do ask they pleased, you couldn’t threaten them with anything other than your words. It was easier to deal with the people who aren’t overly fond of you in Feyd’s home, knowing that they can’t get away with that behavior like they can on yours.

“I don’t think they like me.”

“I don’t care what they think.” You responded, sitting beside him. You were closer this time, your body facing his and your hand resting on his cheek. “I like you, let them think what they want.”

He was the one that leaned in to kiss you, and you were sure that you were going to have a long night from the mere animosity in the way that he kissed. But you looked forward to it. To his touch, to the marks that he was going to leave on your skin, to being as close to him as possible. There were a million moving pieces when it came to having a child and a family with Feyd-Rautha, he was a complicated person who could tell you that he loved you and obviously mean it, but there was no changing his nature. He would put himself in danger, he would be violent and cruel to people in front of you and most likely in front of your child. How you had come to love someone like him was a mystery to you, just as it was to anyone around you. But you had, and the best thing you could do was accept that your life was different from everyone else’s and just hope that it wasn’t going to be short-lived because of the ever-present threats placed upon Feyd’s life (and your own, to a lesser extent).

#feyd rautha #feyd x reader #feyd-rautha x reader #feyd fanfiction #feyd imagine #feyd-rautha fanfiction #feyd-rautha imagine #feyd-rautha harkonnen x reader #feyd-rautha harkonnen fanfiction #feyd-rautha harkonnen imagine #dune x reader

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meiiie · 3 months

Text

WAIT THIS IS AMAZING IN SCREAMINGGGG HE WOULD SO DEFINITELY USE MA AND BUB AS PET NAMES IM GIGGLGINGGGGG

RAFE, SCARY? PFFT ! — RAFE CAMERON

pairing; boyfriend!rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary: you had the most loving, sweet, precious boyfriend in the world. so why were your new found friends so scared of him?

prompt: “you let anything happen to her and i’ll fucking kill you, alright?”

you could barely contain your happiness as you applied your 5th layer of glittery lipgloss on your lips, holding the decorated pink tube in your manicured fingers. you batted your eyelids at the clock hung on rafe's wall.

kiara told you to be there at 8:00 and it was currently 7:30.

but you didn't want to be late, so leaving now was a good plan for you.

you had never met kiara's friends before. you had been best friends with her your whole life, but after she and sarah split, they told you you had to pick a side. and you would never tell sarah that the main reason you picked her was because of her psychotic older brother who was always roaming aimlessly around tannyhill.

sarah was your best friend, and you wouldn't trade her for the world.

but you couldn't help but ponder over what would have happened if you picked kiara, what life you would have had.

you missed her, truly. so when faced with the oppurtity to reconnect with her through your mothers exchanging numbers on one random night at the wreck, you took it.

and before you knew it she was inviting you to come down to the boneyard with some of her friends from the cut, to which you accepted gratefully.

you were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard the bathroom door click open, the steam rolling out from underneath it like a tidal wave. you turned your head softly at the noise, placing the lipgloss applicator quickly back in the tube.

beads of water trickled down his v line, escaping into the beige towel wrapped around his waist into a place you didn't even have the time to imagine. he lifted his hand up to his head, running a hand through his now brown hair that had darkened from getting wet under the stream of water.

"quick rafe we have to go!" you whined, trying to avoid eye contact with the 6'2 tall build distraction in front of you. you shuffled around the room, going into his closet and picking out clothes for him to quickly put on since he insisted — well — demanded, on driving you down to the boneyard.

you shoved the clothes into his hands, his hand making contact with yours momentarily, creating a spark between the two of you. your cheeks flushed as you quickly looked away, turning around and taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

you watched as he made no effort to move, a smirk you know all too well gracing his face. "rafe, i mean it. get changed" you groaned as you pushed your palms into the soft covers of his king sized bed.

"if you wanted to see me naked baby, you could just say that."

your cheeks quickly turned into the darkest shade of pink you could imagine, your hands quickly reached up to your face, covering your eyes as you huffed softly.

he scoffed at your movements, reaching over to spread your fingers apart so you could see through them. "im just joking ma, you've seen it all before." he winked, moving back to see the full sight of him while lifting his bicep up and flexing it in your face.

you jokingly rolled your eyes, falling onto the bed so you were now staring at the ceiling. your fingers found their way to each other, nervously intertwining as you thought.

you heard rafe shuffling around near his closet, his fly ziping up and the clink of his belt being melody to your ears. "what if they don't like me?"

your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. if rafe wasn't listening he definitely would have missed it. but he always listens.. to you.

"impossible" he stated simply, using a tone that left no room for discussion. he didn't use that tone often, but when he did, you stayed quiet.

you chewed on your bottom lip, knitting your brows together.

you were so lucky to have rafe in your life. he was kind, caring and patient and always knew how to calm your anxiety.

honestly, you were surprised he let you go down to the beach with the pogues in the first place. you tried your best to keep out of that whole kook-pouge turf war as best as possible. to you, it was immature, unnecessary and just pointless. but it had been around on the island since before you could remember.

though, it was safe to say that you and rafe didn't see eye to eye on that topic. he didn't like the pogues, not one bit. and he made that very, very clear.

he knew how much you loved kiara, and how your face lit up when your mother's voice echoed through rafe's car speakers when she called you after seeing kiara's mother.

it took him longer to warm up to the idea that you would be seeing her whole friend group, which consists of just pogues, and most importantly, jj maybank.

there was nothing more rafe hated than jj maybank.

yet, he knew how happy this would make you. and he was willing to do this, for you. only for you.

"ready bubs" rafe announces, smoothing his polo down haphazardly and stuffing his feet into his shoes. he hears you pulling yourself up and off his bed, your socked feet padding over to him and resting your head on his chest.

he smiles and he brings his arms around your body. sighing contently as he places a kiss on your head before resting his chin on you. "they are gonna love you, like everyone loves you. don't think for a second that they won't"

you giggle against him, somehow trying to push yourself further into him, which was impossible.

"no im being serious baby, i have some serious competition." rafe huffed, pulling himself back from you and looking at your face peering up at him.

"shut up" you joke, your cheeks burning as you blushed at his words. he leaned down until his lips met yours, bringing his fingers to your chin and lifting your head up.

you two melted into each other, your sweet strawberry lipgloss coating his lips quickly. he didn't care though, he was kissing you. so nothing else mattered.

you were losing yourself in his touch, not noticing he was slowly pushing you back until your calfs hit the back of his dark oak bed frame and your body eventually fell against the soft fabric of his covers.

he slipped his hand up your lacy white cami, dragging his fingers up and down the soft skin of your stomach. he detached his lips from yours as his cold slender fingers slipped under the wire of your bra, kissing his way down your neck and chest.

you bit your now chapped lips as you looked down the the brunette boy making goosebumps appear over your skin. you threw your head back against his pillow closing your eyes and opening them again as your head lulled to the side.

your eyes fixated to the clock resting on his wall, reading 7:54. your mind ticked for a second before relating where u needed to be in exactly six minutes, gasping rather dramaticlly.

rafe's head snaps up to look at you, his eyes hooded with worry and hunger at the same time. it was only when he followed your eyes to his sleek white clock that he realised what had happened.

he rolled his eyes and he pulled your shirt back over your stomach, leaving one last searing kiss before smoothing the material down.

"rafe we have to go, now. now!" you whisper yelled almost slipping and you tried to put on your shoes while you hobbled out of his bedroom.

"baby, baby." he spoke, hopping up and walking quickly after you. he reached out to your waist holding you stable so you didn't slip over and hurt yourself.

"ok, ok. ill be careful. lets just go!" you gasped, trying to wiggle out of his firm grip. he chuckled as he let go, watching as you speed down the stairs of tannyhill and down to his white jeep parked out the front.

it was a fairly uneventful ride down to the boneyard, rafe's hand resting on your bouncing leg the whole time, slightly soothing the nervous feeling arising in your chest.

"c'mon baby, we're here" he voiced, opening his car door before quickly jumping out and circling the car before he opened yours for you. your eyes drifted down to the beach as rafe helped you out of his rather tall car.

a blonde boy with a backward cap resting on his head sat on a log with two other boys around your age, beers resting in their hands as they talked. your eyes followed along the beach where you saw kiara picking up trash along the shore, smiling brightly to yourself.

rafe intertwined his hand with yours, tightly squeezing it as he narrowed his eyes at the people on the beach. "you don't have to drink yeah? just tell them no, ok?" rafe spoke.

you nodded softly, peering up at him through your lashes to see his face stern and menacing.

you began walking first, dragging rafe softly behind you as your shoes hit the soft sand below you. you kept your eyes glued to your feet the whole way until you heard voices now crystal clear echoing through your ears.

"hey, you made it!" kiara exclaimed, bringing her arms around you as you let go of rafes hand. "hi kie" you murmured into her shoulder, embracing her into a soft hug.

"hey, rafe. what're you doing down these parts?" the blonde boy asked, standing up from his spot on the large log he was sitting down on before. you saw rafe tick his jaw to the side as you pulled away from kiara, his tongue sliding through the front of his teeth.

"just dropping her off maybank, not here to stay" rafe remarked, turning his attention to you as he leaned down and placed a kiss on your cheek, ghosting his hands over your sides as he pulled back from you.

"call me when you need me to pick you up yeah?" rafe said, keeping his eyes on you as you nodded hastily. he smiled sweetly at you, watching as kiara grabbed your hand a pulled you down to the shore, showing you the tiny baby turtles rushing into the water in front of you.

"hey jj" rafe said, turning his head to the boy standing a few feet from him, not daring to come any closer. rafe watched as he nodded cautiously, pursing his lips together as to almost prepare himself for what rafe was about to say.

rafe took a few steps before he reached jj, grabbing the fabric of his shirt and hoisting him up until they were face to face.

“you let anything happen to her and i’ll fucking kill you, alright?"

#rafe cameron

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