melancholy-ember - Tumblr blog

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I am about to reenter my WayHaught era with a VENGEANCE, I fear. 😭

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It's been a little while since I've done one of these, but desperate times... ?

Send me  💯 and I will write 100 words in my current project, and share my favorite sentence/section.

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Hey guys, I know that you all have been waiting for the next chapter of Faster Than a Hairpin Trigger, but I have been dealing with some health issues that unfortunately have gotten worse as opposed to better. I really don’t know when I will be back, but I just wanted to let you all know. I truly appreciate all of the support you guys have shown me, and I promise that this story isn’t being abandoned, it just deserves better than I can offer at the moment. 

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So I may or may not have been obsessively thinking about ftaht (I like to think it’s not “obsessively” but that could be wishful thinking lol), and now I’m wondering if the spy at NCIS was in any way connected to what’s currently going on with Curtis and the FBI. I also have a couple of crazy theories, like somehow Joseph Carter survived, his twin is also evil, or they’re actually triplets and while the twin was good, the other is evil. I feel like either that Charlie Day conspiracy theory board meme or that I’ve connected two dots meme.

The fact that you’re even trying to connect the dots… dude, I’m so honored! I love hearing what you guys think about what’s going to happen and every time someone reaches out with a new idea it makes me want to smile!

I will say this—the plot is picking back up, and lots of answers are going to be coming in the next few chapters! It’s going to be a crazy ride, featuring intense juggling acts (metaphorical) and lots of oatmeal raisin cookies (literal), just to name a few things!

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Thinking about your missing moment story where Jane and co. find out about Kate being shot, and knowing that it took longer than it should have for help to arrive for her, I just feel so bad for O’Brien. Like we already knew from the actual story that he felt guilty, but knowing he was in that room alone (not counting Holden since he’s just a little boy) waiting for backup while desperately trying to keep Kate alive while also probably trying to not panic a little boy…let’s just say someone else has earned a place on the list of characters I want to give a hug to.

Listen, I purposely introduced O’Brien as a kind of goofy, well meaning but annoying character. I wanted you guys to see the change that happened in him after everything that happened with Kate, and it’s going to be even more apparent in later chapters as well. That whole experience for sure subdued his playful/mischievous nature a lot. The repercussions for him won’t be front and center of course, but I definitely think you guys will start to see them as answers are revealed.

So all in all, yeah, the poor guy definitely deserves a hug!

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Me: (sitting quietly, mindlessly scrolling tumblr)

you: anyone want a ftaht snippet

me: (waving my hand in the air, suddenly vibrating like a small child who is asked about something that they know and are passionate about) ME! ME! Please!

This message is so sweet, it literally made me grin after I read it! The enthusiasm you guys have for something that I wrote will never stop having the ability to make me smile. Thank you for this!

Now, onto something that is unfortunately far, far less wholesome...

Lucy dug deeper into the exercises, pushing herself beyond her limits, because when her body did finally give in to the building pressure, the anger would flicker out too. After all, it was impossible to keep a fire burning without any fuel. She wanted the exhaustion to completely snuff the flames of her burning rage. Her mind was the enemy, so Lucy wanted to be too tired to think a single thought.

With that goal refocused, the brunette opted to switch to thirty-fives, her arms shaking under the added stain. Four drops of sweat fell simultaneously, three of them landing on the mat while one fell onto her phone. She stared at her own slightly distorted reflection on the blacked-out screen for a long moment, looking deeply into her own eyes. As hard as Lucy tried, she couldn’t see herself staring back. Just a blank nothing reflecting in the depths of her own gaze.

An all-consuming emptiness.

A hollow void.

Soulless—

Nope.

Lucy shook her head roughly, more sweat dripping down, and switched to standing curls. Her arms felt like spaghetti noodles, weak and flimsy and so very close to breaking if they weren’t soon given a break soon. It was what her entire body was screaming for—some semblance of a resting period because she had already been at this for a little over four hours.

She ignored it.

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Anyone interested in a FTAHT snippet? 

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deena keeping her promises to sam

bonus:

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💯

You guys are absolutely insane. I honestly was not expecting so many people to send in a 💯, and if I posted a snippet for each one, the whole chapter would basically have been here.

That’s insane. You guys are insane.

And please know that I see and genuinely appreciate each and every kudos, like and comment. The support means so much to me. The next chapter of FTAHT is still a little bit away from being posted, so until then, I hope you guys enjoy this little preview.

“I’m good,” Lucy responded quietly, and when the blonde turned around, she noticed the way the other woman had paused near the kitchen table. The brunette's fists clenched and unclenched a few times, and before Kate had the chance to ask if everything was okay, Lucy reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it slowly and setting it down.

All at once, she wasn’t that hungry anymore.

The air became thinner.  

Kate’s entire focus was narrowed down to the paper that was lying on the table, her own scribbled thoughts and words recognizable despite the slight distance. And abruptly, it came rushing back—

The memory.

Noah’s jacket.

The notebook.

The guide.

Tennant.

The storm.

Lucy.

Noah’s jacket again.

Noah’s jacket in Lucy’s hands, and on Lucy’s body, because Kate had thoughtlessly given the pullover to the other woman, completely forgetting about the page filled with her most unfiltered, honest thoughts just waiting to be found. In the heat of the moment, it had slipped her mind altogether, and she had sent the brunette away with the raw, bleeding pieces of her heart tucked neatly in the oversized pocket.

Somewhere between the wine and the storm, Kate had forgotten. Not only that, but she had somehow managed to sit through an entire session with the very therapist who had given her the idea in the first place without missing a beat.

She felt vaguely ill.

Lucy exhaled slowly, and the way the sound caught in her chest was audible. The brunette tapped a single finger against the page. “I was actually hoping that we could talk.”

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Curious...and you absolutely do not have to do this. I've just been thinking about Jane and the rest of the team during the lockdown and just...what were their reactions when they heard about Kate being shot? How close were they to her? How did the news break? What's their convo around telling Lucy? Were they worried about both of them? I'm so curious

Oh boy, not going to lie I got this ask a little while ago, and I couldn't answer it right away because I didn't want to risk spoiling future chapters (Lucy's mindset). Now that we've gotten a bit of a closer look into said mindset, with a much deeper understanding coming soon, I felt a lot better about posting it.

That being said, anon, I am very sorry that you had to wait so long to see this! I never forgot about you!

Missing Moment #4: The Lockdown Pt. 2

Agent McGee, Tennant was sure, was fairly adept at his job.

His countenance was unfailingly passive, his tone was authoritative without being commanding, his mannerisms were concise and consistent with someone who was very good under extreme amounts of pressure. He didn’t bark orders, and used the power he had been given in a way that still offered a level of respect and dignity to each of the agents that were indefinitely trapped in the bullpen. 

None of these things made her any happier to see him, especially so early in the morning.

McGee made his way over to where she, Jesse, and Kai were congregated, interrupting the light, absent conversations they had been engaging in with the quiet clearing of his throat. In acknowledgement of the sound, they promptly halted all discussion. “Sorry to interrupt, but Vance needs you in the war room, Tennant. He says it's urgent.”

Tennant nodded, exchanging a meaningful look with Kai and Jess, both of whom had immediately stiffened up at McGee’s words. If Vance was calling her to the war room, for a matter that couldn’t wait… there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that they were all thinking the same thing…

Lucy.

“Alright,” Tennant said, projecting a level of ease she didn’t feel. Her heart was thudding sharply in her chest, but with both Kai and Jesse looking at her for reassurance, there was no room for her to panic. Her team needed her to be strong. “Lead the way, Agent McGee.”

The young man nodded, and together they made their way through the bullpen and up the stairs to the top level of Pearl. When they got to the door of the war room, McGee knocked gently against the glass door, still in lockdown mode, before stepping back.

“Come in,” Vance called out, sounding slightly distracted.

After they made their way inside, Tennant looked up, only to pause at what she was seeing. Knight was standing next to Vance, both of them seemingly going over a blueprint of a building that had been marked up with various notes, the easiest escape routes highlighted in bright yellow. There were coordinates and names and dates and—

McGee closed the door behind them.

Vance turned, tucking the highlighter he had been using behind his ear. Next to him, Knight offered a small, polite nod of greeting. Tennant returned the gesture before looking over and meeting the Director’s gaze. “Agent Tennant, I'm sure you're wondering why I called you here.”

Barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Tennant simply nodded again. “Yes, sir. Is everything—”

POP! POP POP!

She jumped slightly at the noise, immediately recognizing the sound of gunfire. Knight cursed slightly under her breath, spinning back around, and typing rapidly at the computer monitor. After several, long seconds—the agent blew out a sharp breath, obviously frustrated. When Vance took a step closer to her, Knight looked up and shook her head solemnly.

Vance nodded once, index finger going to the comm device in his ear. His expression stayed calm. “Agent Tara, do you copy?”

The world tilted abruptly.

With every passing moment of silence, Tennant felt more and more like she was about to be sick. She took a step towards the monitor, intending to… she didn’t know, exactly, but Vance held up a hand, halting her progression forward.

“Agent Tara,” the Director tried again, his tone ringing with a bit more intention this time. Beside him, Knight’s lower lip was caught between her teeth in an outward manifestation of her nerves. The possibility of being sick was becoming less and less hypothetical with every passing moment of silence. “I recognize that you may not be able to speak freely, that’s okay, but I need you to say something. Anything at all, so we can get ears on you.”

More silence, followed by the slightest crackle of static.

And then—

Laughter.

“He looked scared shitless, did you see that?”

It was undeniably Lucy’s voice, but the tone and words were so crass, so unlike the young woman that Tennant had come to know that it almost didn’t seem believable. While she was still in the process of coming to grips with what she had just heard, Vance and Knight had both slumped in quiet relief.

They weren’t at all fazed…

… because they didn’t know Lucy. They didn’t understand just how horribly opposite the part she was playing was to her innate character. They didn’t understand the magnitude in which things must have changed, the level that Lucy must have been forced to take it to in order to keep her cover.

But Tennant did.

And the knowledge was making bile churn dangerously in the pit of her stomach.

“Great job, Jules. That was incredibly impressive.”

That voice was different.   

Pruitt.

Vance nodded in satisfaction. “Alright, Agent Tara. We’re going dark for a minute, comms are transferring over to Knight.” With a single click, the audio abruptly cut out, and everything was suddenly silent.

“Wait,” Tennant said belatedly, having recovered from her shock a half second too late. Her mind was still frantically scrambling, trying to process and make sense of the exchange she had just overheard. It was an endeavor that had been doomed from the start, seeing as she had absolutely no context for it. “Can you get her back? I want to talk—”

“No time,” Vance interrupted coolly, slipping easily into the chair that Knight was hovering around. At the approach, the young woman wordlessly stepped a few feet to the right, and the NCIS Director began clicking through the tabs. “We got an urgent message through a secure browser, from one Michael Curtis. Does the name ring a bell?”

Tennant frowned, nodding slowly in answer. What could Curtis have wanted to tell them that was so dire he had to do through the channels? “He’s ASAC for the FBI team stationed on the island. We have a liaison, her name is Kate Whistler. He’s who she reports back to.”

He raised a brow at that, looking either disapproving or impressed.

At the moment, Tennant really couldn’t manage to bring herself to care which.

“It’s always good to develop a good working relationship with neighboring agencies. Good work Tennant,” Vance followed the words with a nod of approval. The somewhat pleased expression only lasted a moment, and then the Director cleared his throat solemnly. “He’s been accredited through outside channels, so I’ll switch over to him now.”

Vance clicked out from whatever he and Knight had been working on, switching to a secured tab, and suddenly she was face-to-face with Michael Curtis.

He looked rough.

And there really was no other way to put it, the FBI ASAC had deep, dark bags under his eyes that were strikingly obvious, and there was a subtle pallor to skin that spoke of extreme stress. He wasted exactly no time. “Whistler was shot.”

Tennant blinked at the abrupt words, the suddenness of the declaration catching her completely off guard. She was vaguely aware of the way Vance had leaned back farther into his chair, a cool, interested gaze watching her closely. “Is she okay? What’s her status?”

“It happened yesterday, midday.” Curtis ran a hand through his hair, and the way it trembled was visible through the screen. Tennant swallowed thickly, her stomach twisting sharply. “It’s still in the early stages, but it has the potential to go south quickly. Last I heard they had just finished surgery and she was on a ventilator.”

Surgery.

A ventilator.

“She’s not—” Tennant paused, taking a slow, steadying breath in. Beside her, Vance’s chin tipped up just the smallest bit, catching the swell of emotion. Knight took a few steps closer, resting a gentle hand against her back in a silent show of comfort. The gesture helped, if only because the subtle weight helped ground her slightest bit. “She’s not able to breathe on her own?”

Curtis shook his head solemnly. “It took… longer than it should have to get to her. There were reports of an explosion, so the bomb squad had to clear the scene first. Our resources were elsewhere, and Whistler paid the price for it. She lost a good amount of blood, but the doctor thinks she’ll pull through. She’s tough.”

 “Yeah,” Tennant agreed somewhat distractedly, still reeling slightly. “That she is.” 

Between the apparent existence of a spy under her nose, Lucy being undercover, the brunette’s sudden, sickeningly adopted crassness, and Kate literally getting shot, it felt a bit like the rug had been pulled out from underneath her.

How the hell had everything spiraled so quickly out of control?

She was worried about what information might have been leaked to enemies while under her watch. She was worried about how her team was handling the psychological effects of being locked within the confines of their workplace, monitored twenty-four seven while simultaneously having very little to no contact with their families. She was worried about Lucy being okay—not just physically, but mentally—because the effects of this case would linger, that much had just been made brutally obvious. She was worried about Kate making it through not only the next few days, but also the recovery itself.

She was just so fucking worried.

“You're close to her,” Curtis said, bringing Tennant back to the present. “I just wanted to let you know. But things are chaotic over here, so I'm signing off. Take care of yourself out there, Tennant.”

Tennant swallowed, trying and failing to completely banish the lump in her throat. “You too, Curtis.”

The FBI ASAC gave her one last nod, and then the call ended.

Vance was still regarding her with a level of questioning in his gaze that was palpable, but he opted not to comment on it. Whether the decision was a show of mercy or the desire to garner more information before deciding to address it, Tennant didn’t know, and right now? She couldn’t bring herself to care, not with everything else that was going on.

Slightly dazed, she followed McGee back to the bullpen, able to see the anxious looks on her team’s faces from several steps away. Their anticipation was palpable, so thick the air itself was nearly tangible with it. By the time she actually made it to them, they were practically vibrating with impatience.

“So?” Jesse asked as soon as McGee took his leave, beating everyone else to the question. Still, Kai, Ernie and even Commander Chase now were all listening intently, waiting for some kind of news with bated breath.

Tennant blinked, genuinely unsure where the hell she was supposed to start. “At some point Lucy must have had to go deeper into her character. I don’t know what happened but the voice I heard in that room… it wasn’t my special agent.”

Everyone was quiet, trying to absorb the ramifications of the statement. 

“And Whistler was shot.” Instantaneously, all eyes went to her, and Tennant held up a hand before any of them could comment. There was no sense in letting everybody’s questions trip over each other in their haste to be asked when she didn’t know much more than they did. “All I know is that it happened yesterday, and that Kate's alive but on a ventilator.”

Silence.

Deep, haunting silence that spoke of a rush of internalized feelings and thoughts. She had no doubt that the shock she was feeling was echoed by the team she had gathered around her, and typically she would muster up the strength to give some kind of inspiring speech but right now…

She hadn’t spoken to her kids in two days, her youngest agent was currently in the midst of a deadly scheme that went who knows how deep, and her friend had been shot. Tennant had no words of encouragement and resilience to offer, no moral-boosting pep talk to give.

Not right now.

“Fuck,” Kai whispered after another long moment, breaking the quiet with the impassioned, hissed curse.

And Tennant didn’t need to be a mind-reader to know that he had just summed up what everyone was feeling.  

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Here we are again, friends.

Send me  💯 and I will write 100 words in my current project, and share my favorite sentence/section.

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I love them so much, oh my god.

You guys make The Notebook look bleak.

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you taking my musings regarding Dillion and making it a prompt is the stuff my dreams are made of. I loved it! Thanks!

No problem! I'm always down for more prompts, (anon I promise that I have not forgotten about you, I just have to wait until the next chapter is posted to avoid potential spoilers) so this was a lot of fun.

Since FTAHT is still in progress, I might not always be able to write prompts set in its universe, but this one was fun!

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I keep thinking about how awkward Dillion must have felt during their last session. Like here’s a client who will absolutely push herself too hard if given the opportunity, so you have to be very careful of what you suggest because she will not back down or play it safe, and she has 1 person who seems like a great support person, and then the session happens and support person’s not there at the start, which has happened before (she has an unpredictable and important job after all) so you don’t think much about it, but you ask and the client who always refuses to quit an exercise and will do her best to push through the pain/exhaustion all of a sudden looks like she’s going to start sobbing when asked about it. What an uncomfortable situation to find yourself accidentally in.

Listen I don't know if you intended for me to take this ask as a prompt, but I couldn't stop thinking about it, and then this just kind of happened. So please enjoy this very short little drabble.

Dillion hummed to herself as she prepped the room for Agent Whistler’s arrival, increasing the weights of the dumbbells by five pounds and dropping down one of the mats she had sanitized that morning. The focus of the session was going to be lower body, with the addition of some increased core strengthening exercises. They were admittedly a little bit advanced, but with the progress Dillion was seeing, she highly doubted the agent would even blink at them.

Even so, she was going to have to keep an extra close eye on her client as she went through the workout, because she had learned the hard way that Agent Whistler was not the type to quit.

That lesson had very much been learned, and it would not be forgotten.

When Dillion heard the gentle knock on the door, she had just finished placing down the medicine ball that was going to be used for balance skills later in the session. The new exercises she wanted Agent Whistler to try called for a partner, but with Agent Tara making it to nearly all of the sessions, it was a chance she was willing to take.

“Come in,” Dillion called brightly, wiping her hands down the front of her pants. After a moment, the door creaked open, and Agent Whistler shuffled in slowly. Immediately, the therapist clocked the bags under her eyes, the way she was slightly folded in in herself, the redness in her eyes. Something must have happened. “Good morning!”

A muted morning was the only response she received.

Alright then, apparently a change of tactics was necessary.

Still grinning, Dillion regarded the agent with a sunny smile, turning it up a few degrees in an attempt to be extra chipper. The poor woman obviously needed cheering up. “No Agent Tara today?”

Usually mentioning the brunette would earn a smile, or at the very least, a glint of adoration in Agent Whistler’s eyes. It was a failsafe way to inspire some happiness in the other woman.

Because of this tried and true tactic, Dillion was completely unprepared for Agent Whistler to freeze while sucking in a sudden, sharp breath. And then, the client who she had seen weather whatever exercises she had been assigned with grit and determination, the woman she had literally watched battle her demons and come out the other side victorious and triumphant started to cry.

Her eyes rapidly filled with tears, and Dillion immediately backtracked, filing Agent Tara under her mental list of Things To Not Address while the rest of her mind spiraled in countless variations of what the hell. “Never mind! Should we get started?”

Agent Whistler nodded quickly, trying to discretely wipe her eyes. Dillion busied herself with her phone, giving the other woman a moment to collect herself. When it no longer looked like the blonde was liable to burst into tears, she slid the device back into her pocket.

“The uh,” Agent Whistler cleared her throat softly, licking her lips. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed harshly. “The medicine ball is new. What’s it for?”

Dillion blinked. “Sorry, left over from my previous session. Do you want to do the warmup stretches we went over last time? I’ll put it away, and then we can get started.”

“Sure,” Agent Whistler said very softly, and then immediately began the exercises.

The therapist nodded, offering the other woman a quick, reassuring grin before putting the medicine ball back in the cupboard.

Maybe some other time.

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This chapter is currently a little over eight thousand words and still is not finished. Please send help.

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Since in FTAHT Lucy is seeing Kate (physically) hurt for the first time I would assume this either happens before 1x20 or 1x20 didn't happen. Do you plan to let Lucy know about Kate turning down the DIA promotion? Also will Kate let her parents know about getting shot soon? Or she just won't ever tell them unless she has to?

I do plan on Lucy finding out about the DIA promotion! It's a scene in later chapters, so it will be a little while, but it's one I am excited about!

As far as Kate's parents finding out about her getting shot, that is also something that is addressed in later chapters! That one is a bit more comical - considering the subject matter, I know it's hard to believe - but I at least find it kind of amusing, and I hope you guys will as well.