mellodillo

[mellodillo]

Day 3, Friendship for @sonicpridecorner! This time featuring Claire and her good friend Rouge! I headcannon they would be make-up and gossipy buddies :D

(Claire: lesbian. Rouge: bisexual that prefers men)

[mellodillo]

a few more great films that are free on the internet archive

in decent quality too!

first list, second list

aggregate letterboxd list, archive list of all the films

perfect blue (1997) dir. satoshi kon

carol (2015) dir. todd haynes

the elephant man (1980) dir. david lynch

a girl walks home alone at night (2014) dir. ana lily amirpour

d.e.b.s. (2004) dir. angela robinson

nausicaa of the valley of the wind (1984) dir. hayao miyazaki

killer klowns from outer space (1988) dir. stephen chiodo

mommy (2014) dir. xavier dolan

jennifer's body (2009) dir. karyn kusama

suspiria (1977) dir. dario argento

battleship potemkin (1925) dir. sergei eisenstein

his girl friday (1940) dir. howard hawks

cube (1997) dir. vincenzo natali

nightcrawler (2014) dir. dan gilroy

black orpheus (1959) dir. marcel camus

chunking express (1994) dir. wong kar wai

meeting people is easy: a film about radiohead (1998) dir. grant gee

the grapes of wrath (1940) dir. john ford

the black cat (1941) dir. albert s rogell

the tin star (1957) dir. anthony mann

[mellodillo]

An Ode to the Best Mario Kart Track

If you were to ask me my favorite Mario Kart track, it would undeniably have to be Wario Stadium from Mario Kart 64. A humble course with little more than some bumps and curves; a surprisingly mundane approximation of a motocross stadium. There is nothing fantastical or remarkable about this level. The only landmarks are a spinning Wario sign and a live-feed screen that doesn't even work correctly in multiplayer.

Throughout the years I've passively observed public opinion of Wario Stadium. Its lack of features seems to be one sticking point, the length another. Things need to be bold and bombastic, quick spurts before we move on to the next shiny spectacle. Without judgment, I'll guess the people saying this have spent no meaningful time with the game in question. Being either too young to remember or sensible enough to get a Playstation instead of a Nintendo 64. At most they've turned it on to explore the series' roots, tried out some cups and went on with their day.

However, for the people in the know, Wario Stadium was THE staple Mario Kart level back when the series' only had two entries; a no-nonsense straight gauntlet of racing goodness. I had friends come over requesting to play it. The name still holds gravitas among my family members.

Wario Stadium.

Mind you, it is not the only track remembered synonymously with the game. Even my parents can still recall names like Moo Moo Farm, Rainbow Road and Koopa Troopa Beach, but Wario Stadium always comes first. Why do we all remember Wario Stadium the most?

I think the answer is simple: Wario Stadium has what we may refer to as "the pit".

The pit is a simple, but brilliant piece of geometry that single-handedly made Wario Stadium unforgettable. It is the sole reason I confidently declare this the best ever Mario Kart track, because it is unparalleled and unrepeatable. No other level has the pit and no other level will ever have the pit.

The logistics of the pit are straight-forward. Towards the end of a lap you briefly dip down a slope with a ledge overhead, the road continues on up the slope and around a wide turn to the previously mentioned ledge, where the player performs a daring jump over to the final stretch before the goal.

On paper, there is nothing outstanding about this moment. There are other big jumps in Mario Kart 64 alone. The catapulting over the riverboat in DK's Jungle Parkway, the flight towards Princess Peach's castle in Royal Raceway. These were spectacular, exhilarating, memorable. But safe. They had no danger, no stakes. They were the rollercoaster segments of their levels, the Mario Kart equivalent of the loop in Sonic the Hedgehog. They didn't have the pit, because only Wario Stadium has the pit.

As is tradition, if the player suffers an unfortunate accident in Mario Kart and falls off the course, they're quickly fished out by Lakitu and repositioned back on the road to continue the race. This is a Mario Kart institution, as iconic as the item boxes themselves. Lakitu is the answer to turtle shells and banana peels. Lakitu is your dear friend who helps you when in need. You will be stalled, but he will always get you back on your feet again. He will make sure this is a fair race that you have a chance of winning. Your guardian angel; he will always be there, watching out for you. Always, always, always! Except...

Wario Stadium doesn't have Lakitu. There is only the pit.

God forbid, if you were to fall down the pit, you would tumble all the way to the bottom of the slope. Crashing onto the road, disoriented, facing a cruel featureless wall. Back where you were previously, a good chunk of your progress undone. Lakitu doesn't come, because the game never registers you as having fallen out of bounds. It is not in his protocol to save you because you are still on the track. So get going!

From a complete stand-still in the pit it takes about 16-ish seconds to race back to the ledge again. This doesn't sound much, but trust me that Lakitu is way faster than that. You WISH Lakitu was here! In a race, adding a quarter of a minute to your clock is practically death. It's over. You LOST.

This is what makes the pit dangerous and exhilarating. It's a brief window where Mario Kart drops its whimsy rules and adheres to a stern sense of realism. It is uncharacteristic, but for this reason it stands out. Because it is merciless. It is SO cruel!

Of course, being the first race in the Star Cup, a freak accident of this calibre during a grand prix is easily remedied by a hard reset. It simply doesn't happen too often, and when it does this mostly presents a minor inconvenience. Most people encountering the pit today may decry "poor dated game design", but majority probably won't even notice it.

Because they never seriously played Mario Kart 64 in multiplayer. The game is no longer the staple contemporary iteration of itself, it is not even last year's model. It is old and forgotten. No one goes back to play Mario Kart 64 in multiplayer unless they were a person who played Mario Kart 64 in multiplayer back in the 90s. But for those of us who did, we all know about Wario Stadium, we all know about the pit.

In multiplayer, the pit colors Wario Stadium in a new light. Because as real humans behind the wheel, racing against one another, we are different from the robotic computer controlled players. We are aware of the pit and its implications. We know what it does, we know its danger.

We know we can exploit it.

As such, the pit becomes a terrifying abyss of defeat. An ever-approaching cloud of uncertainty. It is coming, it is inevitable. Every time we leap above its maws we challenge fate. Every successful landing a relief. The pit is psychological warfare. We use and abuse the pit against each other because of its irresistible power.

Because sooner or later you will end up in this scenario:

THIS is when shit gets real. This is when Wario Stadium goes from amusing to legendary. This is when Mario Kart peaks forever.

When we approach the pit with green shells we may hope to land a lucky shot, every go around with banana peels we haphazardly plant seeds of potential, with a red shell you mean business but also need to be close for your timing to be right.

But with the lightning bolt? We're talking nuclear option! Whoever gets the lightning bolt can strike the exact moment their opponent jumps over the pit. What do you do? Do you boldly face death knowing hope has already died, or do you feebly pull the brakes waiting for the gun to point elsewhere? But will the threat ever dissipate if you don't act? Will you not simply waste even more time escaping the inevitable?

The only path is forward.

The only future is the pit.

For as much as Nintendo attempts to present themselves with a wholesome identity, creating pleasant experiences with little in terms of raw friction, it is befitting that Mario Kart is undoubtedly their most popular franchise. In a way it rears their ugly side, and exposes the little demon in all of us. I contend that Mario Kart is great because it urges us to be a little bit mean. There is something primal activating in your brain as a poor unassuming friend perfectly aligns with your green shell. We've all felt it, we don't even mean anything by it, it just happens. I get the impression Nintendo has desperately tried to mitigate this angle of Mario Kart over the years. Blue shells got sparser, hits have less impact, Lakitu is swifter.

In hindsight, Wario Stadium seems like an accident. Containing a section where the game potentially gets a little too cruel and unfair, but it is precisely because of this that the pit sticks out. Because it will never happen again. There will never be another Mario Kart game that has the pit. It is incongruent with Nintendo's entire philosophy for what these games should be. Ironically, the pit is the most Mario Kart part of any Mario Kart, encapsulating everything the series is known for; as one falls in despair and defeat, another flies in elated victory.

However, despite how well Wario Stadium understands Mario Kart, it can never be replicated. I've long held it as the only level I want brought back in a future game, and usually people respond with "but it WAS brought back", gesturing to other levels sharing little more than the general stadium setting. As if I was a motocross nut who accidentally bought Mario Kart 64 instead of Excitebike 64. In the new Mario Kart World there is a level claiming to be Wario Stadium, sharing a similar music track and that stadium setting, but the layout is a poor shadow of its former self. It's unrecognizable, they have nothing in common. In the middle is a ramp that spits fire as you jump across. There is no danger, only safe spectacle. A rollercoaster Sonic loop. If you intently veer off to the side, Lakitu predictably saves you. It is Wario Stadium in name only. There is no fall, there is no pit.

Because there will never be another pit.

/Kiki

[mellodillo]

do you miss the colder weather, little deer?

[mellodillo]

i can't get over this stupid fucking animation. i love how comically high the framerate is compared to all of his other animations. blud looks like he's boutta roundhouse kick silver the hedgehog

[mellodillo]

So I finally made a proper Sonic OC... @nintendoni-art gently persuaded me to make a Zeti OC recently when I was complaining about being unable to pick something to draw...and I am glad he convinced me to do so because I am delighted with her so far.

Meet Madame Zamira and her pet demon-slash-parasol, Tempest.

Zamira is the definition of snooty. She doesn't like having her time wasted by just anyone. If you dare to breathe the same air as her, you had better have a good reason for why you're worthy of doing so, or you'll find yourself firmly clasped in the jaws of her Tempest.

Of course, she's not all business all the time, either. She can be lighthearted and fun, especially around those whose company she enjoys. But with a fuse as short as her stature, she's quick to sour if you say something to put her tail in a twist.

Tempest not only grants Zamira the power of flight via its umbrella-like body, but also Zamira shares a special bond with it... Tempest acts as her third eye, meaning Zamira can see what Tempest sees, and Tempest can see quite a bit more than what most people can see. Some claim that Zamira has a form of ESP...others say she's just bluffing. Few claim that they've seen her commune with the realm of Hell itself.

But is any of that true? Good luck getting her to give you the time of day so you can find out!

[mellodillo]

For Whisper it’s bath time. For Lanolin it’s wrath time

[mellodillo]

He’s so cool

[mellodillo]

I will continue giving this perfect little lady the best afterlife she could ever ask for

[mellodillo]

Worlds Apart Chapter 24

Chapter 24. The Diamond Cutters and the Priestess Consortium enter their big showdown. Who will prevail?

[mellodillo]

"Ill take first shift."

[mellodillo]

sup im new here

ladies...LADIES one at a time he's balling ⁉️⁉️⁉️

[mellodillo]

The single greatest picture ever taken in my life. We threw Yu-gi-oh cards at the ceiling fan to watch them scatter, and just happened to take a picture right at this exact moment. To this day, this is the only time I’ve ever heard of anyone breaking a ceiling fan blade with cards.

[mellodillo]

[mellodillo]

Been working out the details of the show with Titmouse since the pandemic. Now we get to announce we're gonna try to make a pilot! Surprise!

[mellodillo]

The defense is ready, Your Honor!