melodyross

[melodyross]

The quiet of summer,

the loudness of it passing by,

makes me wonder,

how much would it hurt if you left?

I feel so calm and loved with you,

as if I had not known fear.

But if you left my side,

would terror encircle me again?

I am a boat on a sea; you are the waves.

You are the beach, and I cannot

swim that far. Will you carry me?

They call me crazy with laughter,

but what if I am? What if it is true?

Can you fight my insanity

and find me again?

I wish to be your favorite book,

the one that makes you sad,

but you keep rereading it

because it is just so excellent.

Can I also make up for my hurt?

[melodyross]

I will say I hate your guts but I could never forget your birthday or how you used to send me flowers and how you saved my life

I know what I was missing all this time

When I was reading books

and could not quite figure out

What made them so weak

You have not written them

The words were plastic

I could not find you in them

And you opened my eyes to the light

When I was about to give up on life

And we do not talk as often anymore

Not at all, to be honest

And I miss your old scent every day

The friendship we had was once

Everything I had

So I will hate you for the words you told me

I could not write a single word

because of you

I lost my stories and I lost hope again

But you made me realise I could be understood

If I opened up

And I will always be grateful to you

So goodbye, my old friend

Who used to whisper my name into the dark.

[melodyross]

My darling, I would go through it all again.

I would dance on broken glass with my bare feet,

Sleep on the floor without a blanket,

And endure the hatred from those who were supposed to

Teach me how to let people love me.

I would lose everything dear to me once more,

Just to meet your eyes for a single moment,

Because the love I see in them is enough

To make me believe that life is worth

Fighting for.

You are so gentle and sweet,

It scares me a little

And brings tears to my eyes.

How can someone hold me as if

They were afraid I might get hurt?

You are the only one who touches me

To keep me together,

Instead of trying to break me.

You are my heaven, my angel,

In this tragedy, I call living.

You taught me how to breathe,

And suddenly, all the pain became

Worthy of carrying.

Maybe I am not damaged to the core;

In your presence, there is still hope.

[melodyross]

i hold boiling rage inside

of my golden ribcage

my heart hurts while beating

and my throat cannot swallow

anything but deep - rooted sadness

but i can take the fog

and turn it into poetry

i can toss the baggage into

another dimension

my life is in ruins

yet there could be fairies

there could be old Greek heroes

kissing my neck passionately

oh mother, is that not enough?

my dreams are so vivid

my imagination almost palpable

i taste the foreign lands

on the tip of my tongue

could something nonexistent

be all i need?

[melodyross]

my lips used to be stitched together

by strings i created in my head

i always felt like a clown

singing sad melodies with happy voice

i could not cry on that funeral

a year ago, and it still haunts me

my stories aren't pleasant to hear

but i still screamed them into your ear

she looks like a fairy

and walks like a ghost

children whispered as i walked by

with my head down

leaving glitter from my eyes

everywhere

and nobody was eager to listen

but i took the mic, took the stage

and although nobody clapped

i felt so alive, so in love with living

i danced through their judgement

leaving sparks behind me.

[melodyross]

If only my voice would finally

Give out as I scream

scream your name into

endless void

of your ignorance

I called your name so loudly

It could only be written

In all caps

Oh baby, haven't I fought

hard enough

to keep your heart soft

Do I have to keep raising my voice

For you to look back at me?

I broke the glass you gave me

on my birthday

I shattered it into pieces

to show what you have done to me

With your silence

You are giving me dirty looks

and hauntingly beautiful smiles

Let me in, I cannot scream no more

I will hear you out

Let me come to my love

I can whisper into your ear

For the last time

OH LOVE, DO YOU HEAR ME NOW?

[melodyross]

They decided to set me on fire

For the sins I committed

In daring to love you

But their hatred did not burn

as much as my heart did for yours.

Why does it matter if our bodies

Are the the same?

If our outlines echo each other

In the shadows?

Our hands are shaped to be held

Our lips do not question

They only ask for the right one to kiss

And you were the one, baby.

My love, let them curse us

wish upon our death

We were born to love

They were taught to kill.

[melodyross]

My past lover, my past hope

Our fates broke their fragile hands

as they tried to reach each other

over the cold metal fence

We built with our hatred

We are on a different side

of the war

Our history will vary

But although you caused me

many wounds and nightmares

I still see you shining bright

on the world as the morning comes

You are even greater than I remember you

My friend, you still have a heart

I hope you find peace

even in the bloodshed

of your own making

I hope you win every battle

With a proud smile on your face

Yet, I desire not to hear your name

on the radio or read it in the newspaper

I wish only love for you

so I have to forget you.

[melodyross]

When I breathed in your smile

Everything made sense for a while

even the mess on my bed

even your crooked teeth

And we may be just fools

Who mistake attention for love

But although we failed every class

We are so right, side by side

We can make it alive

through the war of chaos

See you on the other side

My nonsense lover.

[melodyross]

How is the girl you

barely knew doing now?

Is she still on the old

swing set pretending to be a bird?

Does she still paint her nails

pale pink and sky blue?

Have you even noticed

The way she looked at you

As the sunlight hit your face?

She is gone now, that blue girl

won't watch you laugh ever again

She is cold, not allowed to go to heaven

Her lips got kissed by too many

Yet the stars remember her

innocent like daisies

They have not forsaken her

She used to lie under them

counting them patiently

giving them names

Hoping she would become a star too

Once her bones turn into ash

Her eyes always lit up like candles

on a birthday cake

they felt so close

You should know, my dear

You were the star she gazed at

With most love and admiration

You were even more precious to her

than the real sky above you

She has not kissed you

She worried she might break you

So she was watching from afar

as if you were as distant as

The glittery rocks in the ocean of night.

[melodyross]

I am writing this while wrapped

In your love

You are somewhere out there

But I still feel your earthly power

You were climbing mountains

While I struggled to get out

of my sheets

My darling, your shadow

Dances in my bedroom

Your voice lingers

in my hair like waves

Oh, you could be the ocean

You could be heaven

And I wanna come back

to the moment you touched me

for the very first time

You were so careful, so gentle

I forgot about violence

If only I could find a way

to peel off another layer

So I could be even closer to you

And then I rose like the morning

My knees on the ground

My mind far away

Lost in your expression

I thought, oh god, he is so beautiful.

[melodyross]

You lost the moon

The quiet lady

Who shot mean looks your way

So you tried to steal the sun

The girl with the brightest smile

But the sun does not shine for you

You have not tried to understand it

You tried to own it, instead of loving it

As the star it is

So please do not blame me

I am just a sunflower

Looking after the light

The moon still lingers in the dark

thinking of you

And what could have been

and could still be

the warmth you have not shared

the happiness none of you

touched even though

it was so close, almost too much

My dear, do not curse me

do not bathe my name in lies

The moon waits for you

You say you hate it

But hatred is so much closer

to love than you think.

[melodyross]

I went after your love aggressively

like a shark that smelled

The blood of his prey

I should have let you

Swim freely, I caged you instead

So you broke through my ribcage

And my blood drowned you

Please, help me fall asleep

hold me until

My breath softens and my eyelids close

I keep meeting you in my dreams

without a face

But with your soul

a stranger I know too well

Dance with me for the last time

Do not be cold, do not burn me

I will sacrifice myself for you

We can switch places, for the last time

Just let me hunt you

once more.

[melodyross]

Sixteen years of living

Firstly, in the world

of trash and violence

keeping my head low

So I could avoid your hands

Your ways of making sure

I know you hate me

to the core of your being

The years of screaming back

thinking of ways to get out

(other than jumping out of the window)

(Tried that one time)

biting and begging for mercy

cursing God for giving me to you

And wishing I could pass away

slowly and peacefully

Yet my rebellion lived on

It came back in waves

ready to get you one day

But you could swim

And you knew

How to drown me

I got out though and now

You are just a corpse

There was no funeral

I have no place to spit on

No grave to set on fire

Why did you make me live

If you never intended

to give me a bit of your love?

[melodyross]

love never ends, but it sometimes turns sour like the spoiled milk kept out a little too long, on the counter top during the afternoon of a hot summer day.

love never ends, but it sometimes clogs like the pipe of the overflowing sink, through which water doesn't flows, for it is covered in filth and grease from last night's feast for the dinner.

love never ends, but it sometimes stop making flights like a bird with a broken wing, longing for a sky, with no reprieve, so it sits on the floor imagining how the warmth of sun would feel up close.

love never ends, but it sometimes fades like an old black jeans that has turned a tad bit greyer, too cozy to throw out, too thin to wear.

love never ends, but it changes all the time, like, a soul changing it's wearer.

[melodyross]

Baby, do you think I am

too broken, too damaged

to lay in your arms?

like a dead bird

chased down by your dog

Like the letter full of goodbyes

from people you never meant

to lose?

I am music too loud to listen to

glitter and the cake

In your fridge

You do not intend to eat

But why love me that way

Will you have to discard me?

Am I sweet only in the beginning?

Then my nails cut too deep

And blood starts blowing out

And you begin to crave sleep

over my parties at 3AM

and long monologues

about love and passion

And why do I not feel yours

And how much it hurts

to give you mine

So leave me on the bed

like a porcelain doll

whose head fell off

After it is all over

And your hands explore

The darkest pits of my being

My dear, why couldn't you

Look me in the eyes

While you held me down

While the ground consumed my flesh

And you burned my skin

With the heat of your body?

Now my eyes will haunt yours forever

[melodyross]

I used to be so miserable in love

(and out of it)

But I am past that, my dear

Some people are just lessons

But you taught me what love is

So well I forgot how anger tastes.

You are so beautiful

and so alive

You're friends with trees

You cry with the rivers

You could hold me up

to the sky if I asked you to

You grow flowers in your garden

without meaning to

And I am not a sunflower with you

I do not have to always turn

My head to get a piece of your light

We stand side by side, mortals

awaiting what life has to say

I wish to die alongside you.

...