memo-syne

[memo-syne]

Haven't posted anything in a while

[memo-syne]

since the old version of this post was flagged for ‘adult content’…

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the nb spectrum!

[memo-syne]

Hi N!! A scenario popped up in my head, and I'd love to see someone write it out. So Angel x MtF reader who's really shy in voice calls because she doesn't like hearing her voice, and thinks her "girl voice" doesn't pass enough, so Angel, our no video calls queen helps encourage her and give her confidence!

Siren's Voice

A siren scared of the sailors hearing her song is avoiding their calls for her. But what if there's another siren, a siren who doesn't want to be seen, a siren who supports her and encourages her to sing?

An Angel x MtF!reader fanfic, reader is relucant to join calls because of her thinking that her "girl voice" doesn't pass well and Angel is there to support her

Words: 2255

Cws: Spoilers for Killer Chat! Angel's route, idk if it'll have dysphoria but it could to some !!

You've been in the serial killer server for weeks now, got to know the killers and their environment, learned some... interesting things about their world and lives. Yet, even if you through that you played your cards well, they still didn't believe you entirely.

<goreboy> [21:13] why don'tcha join vc With us y'know A Lil spirited discission

Shit. I'm fucked.

You thought to yourself when you saw that message in #killer_shit. The conversation started normally, well as normally as a conversation in a place full of serial killers can be, Misaki talked about blood pattern art and the possibility of selling it. Then, for some reason, Ronin decided to talk about how great of a serial killer you were as if he was mocking you, because he couldn't possibly have known about your murderous activities, or rather the lack of them. Suddenly he popped up with the idea of a call since 'we barely know anything about you darling' and the other killers went with it.

It shouldn't be a stressful situation, how would a call ever be harmful or dangerous, right?

Well, maybe this call wouldn't be dangerous, but you just couldn't join it. You couldn't bear to hear your own voice moreover let other people hear it.

But why wouldn't you want others to hear your voice so much?

It's not good enough. It's not feminine, soft, high enough. It's not girl enough for you. It was all you didn't want it to be and it didn't matter how many voice training lessons you took. Your voice was still the only thing that didn't let you live fully as a woman, it was the only painful reminder of the life you lived and what you had to go through to get to this point.

You didn't want to let the killers hear you. What if they saw you as less of a woman then? They could have the "don't be a transphobe" in rules, but at the end of the day you didn't know these people that well and couldn't foresee their reactions.

That thought terrified you. You felt the knot in your stomach grow rapidly with every second. What should you say? You didn't want to put yourself in danger, those are serial killers after all, y'know they kill!

Fuck it, I'll try...

<[mc.username]> [21:15] I can't call. Sorry.

Suddenly goreboy and K9 were texting, both in sync and, for once, agreeing with each other.

<goreboy> [21:15] oh You Can't now, can you? i think you Should Rethink that

<Angelic> [21:15] Ro...

<K9> [21:16] No. Let him. He's right, we should hear her on call.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm so fucked, holy shit." You moved away from your screen, looking at the two men trying to push you to change your mind and enter the server call.

But then, amongst all the stress, anxiety and the feeling of discomfort caused by this whole situation, a pop up showed on your screen.

[Angelic wants to send you a message.]

You clicked 'accept', you weren't sure of what you could expect there, it could be a private threat, an interrogation, anything and everything negative that you could possibly come up with in that moment.

But her message surprised you.

<Angelic> [21:18] Oh gosh, I'm so sorry about them V and Ronin aren't usually like this... I didn't even see them agree once Are you okay?

Suddenly all the anxiety left you. Maybe Angel would understand or wouldn't be so pushy. You weren't sure, but you had to try.

<[mc.username]> [21:18] Yeah I don't know either, it's stressing me out a little haha I think they just don't believe that I'm a killer...

Well they aren't exactly wrong.

<Angelic> [21:19] I'm really sorry about them, these boys they're so ugh sometimes But maybe you really should join VC? I'll be there to make sure you're okay <3

And here it is. You knew that she'd suggest it and you really wanted to agree, even if just to hear the killers, but you just froze at the thought of actually talking to them.

<[mc.username]> [21:20] I'd really love to join, but I have a condition now and can't talk :( and calling without talking wouldn't be that effective to shut V and Ronin up

Time for the good old lie, you're sick and can't talk, then it will escalate into more problems until you run out of lies and they don't care to ask about calls... Totally not speaking from experience.

<Angelic> [21:22] How about staying in the call on mute? I'll tell the others that you can't speak so they won't dogpile you <3

<[mc.username]> [21:22] I... Didn't think about that actually I think it would be alright, especially if you'd help out <3

<Angelic> [21:23] Haha of course A girl should help another girl out!

So, after a few deeper breaths and making sure that you're muted at least five times, you joined the call, expecting only the worst to happen.

"Awh, muted? What a shame." Ronin was the first to acknowledge your muted mic and somehow you were less stressed than you expected yourself to be.

"Ro, stop. Y/n told me that she's sick and can't talk. Let her be." A sweet, yet firm, female voice reached your ears and your gaze immediately stopped at Angel's name. You didn't know why, but hearing her was enough to calm down your nerves.

Ronin scoffed. "Alright, alright. I'll let her be, since you've asked me so nicely Angel dear."

The call was short, at least for you, you left the moment Ronin and V dogpiled on you again with their questions. You had barely any time to think of a good enough answer before one of them decided to ask another question or comment on how much faster it would be if you weren't muted.

"If only my voice wasn't so..." You murmured to yourself, a grimace painted all over your face when you heard your voice again. Sometimes you wished that you just didn't talk at all, at least then your voice wouldn't be an issue and you wouldn't have to worry about passing.

You didn't enter the server until you were back from work the next day, you needed to rest for a bit without any deadly danger present on your computer screen. But when you saw the three private messages right above the server you realised that maybe leaving for the day wasn't a good decision.

You didn't really read Ronin's or V's messages, you already knew that there was just an interrogation waiting for you. You clicked on the dm from Angel and felt a smile spread on your lips.

<Angelic> [22:01] Ah I'm so sorry about the call I hope you're okay These boys and their moodiness really...

<[mc.username]> [13:03] Hi, I'm so sorry about the late reply! I'm okay, at least now haha And I get you, it wasn't great to be dogpiled on, still thank you for supporting me and stepping in :)

<Angelic> [13:05] Hello <3 No problems I get it, we're all busy sometimes And I told you that girls should hep each other out!

You were glad for her help and kindness, she really made your stay in the server better even if you weren't there for long yet. The comfort she gave you made you think of telling her about... no you couldn't... or could you?

It wouldn't be wrong to come out, you hardly ever met someone who's reaction would be positive and with Angel you felt like she would react kindly, like she'd understand and support you.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger I guess...

When you were about to type out your hi-i'm-actually-a-trans-woman-and-i'm-avoiding-calls-because-of-my-voice message, Angel outran you with a message of her own.

<Angelic> [13:06] Okay so I have this new video idea for my channel and I was wondering if you'd like to hear it!

You froze for a moment, your mind going blank. Was she asking for a call? Suddenly all the confidence and bravery you built shrank. You felt conflicted, torn between wanting to call with her, but also being anxious about her learning that about you. You decided to deal with the consequences later and agreed.

<[mc.username]> [13:06] Yes! I'd love to hear it! Would you like to video call?

<Angelic> [13:07] Oh, sorry, I don't feel like doing a video call now Would a voice call be okay?

You sighed in relief, you were not ready to show yourself to anyone right now, not in your work clothes and make up that you probably slept in and didn't bother to wash off.

Still, the knot in your stomach at the idea of a voice call did not get smaller.

<[mc.username]> [13:07] Yeah I think it's okay

It didn't take long for the [<Angelic> is calling] pop up to show up on your screen, a little nervous, you accepted the call.

"Hi!" You heard the cheerful voice come from your speakers. She truly sounded angelic, so sweet, with a tinge of mystique hidden underneath the charm. "Ah, I'm so excited about the new video ideas! I can't wait to hear your opinions."

You sat there, frozen, eyes locked on the screen in front of you. You didn't know what to do, should you speak? Or should you keep quiet? Will she think that you're not a woman if she hears you? No, no, Angel wouldn't think like that. But what if she did?

Your mind was racing, you were almost shaking in your chair, your mouth went dry. You didn't know what to do.

"Y/n? Are you okay?'

Her voice cut through your thoughts like a blade. The thoughts were pushed back. You put your hands to your keyboards and typed out a response.

<[mc.username]> [13:09] There's something I need to tell you

"Oh? Feel free to tell me whatever, I'm always ready to listen, hehe." She replied. Her words were warm and sweet like honey, they embraced you in a blanket of safety and comfort. You just felt... seen.

<[mc.username]> [13:10] I'm a trans woman and I don't sound that fem, I actually sound really masculine and it just scares me to let others hear me...

She paused, you were worried that you did something when she didn't reply. "Is this why you didn't want to join the call yesterday? I'm so sorry Y/n, I can't say that I know how it feels, but know that I support you whole heartedly and so would the server."

You were about to start typing a response, but she said something that stunned you.

"Hey Y/n, maybe you could say something to me?"

<[mc.username]> [13:10] But I don't sound like a woman, isn't it... weird?

"I won't see you as less of a woman, if you're worried about it. There are and always have been women with lower voices. And besides, maybe I could help you work on your voice, if you'd let me."

"Y...you would?" You said before you could even think about that. Her words were so... kind. They were all you wished to hear when you were just starting with your transition.

"Of course I would." She replied. "It's good to finally hear you."

"Um..." You turned in your chair uncomfortably. "How do I sound?" You asked the question that flooded your mind and didn't wish to disappear.

Angel giggled. "Like a beautiful girl of course! Really I'm so impressed with how good you sound, I talked about vocal training with Ro... a friend of mine! And he said that it takes a lot of time and practice to actually get the effect you desire."

A smile spread across your features. She complemented your voice, called it pretty and said that she admires it. You were happy, for the first time in ages you didn't feel judged or like your voice was a complete turn off for other people.

"I... Thank you very much Angel, it means so much to me."

"Don't mention it! I'm just honest. You really sound so pretty, I wish you had a podcast or something." She giggled and you felt your cheeks heat up. Gosh she's too sweet for your own good.

"I'll consider starting one just for you."

"You're just so adorable, but maybe I'd like to have a private podcast." Another wave of warmth spread all over your body.

"Ah... Oh gosh stop, I can't think about anything when you tell me things like these." You mumbled.

"You don't need to think, we can just talk love, I can already tell that I would love to do that often."

"Talk? Don't you do that to the camera all the time?" You asked, your mind didn't get her meaning.

"Well yes, but it's not a daily occurrence that I can talk to a sweet girl like you."

You mumbled something about her being only an angel in name and then tried to get yourself back together. "Um anyway, what's the new video idea?"

You've spent a whole hour on the call together, until her manager called and she had to go to work. This call felt great and you couldn't wait for more to come. Especially with Angel's words hanging in the air.

"I'll help you feel more comfortable with your voice, I promise."

Maybe your siren song is actually as beautiful as the other siren says.

Hiii Angel lovers and my beautiful ladies this is for you <3

Love you all

Nate :D

[memo-syne]

HELL YES

more doodles of ronin as JD below ^_^

i was a super big heathers fan back when i was real into musicals, it was my favourite >_< so i did a rewatched of the film and musical and remembered ronin canonically is a pretty big fan of the film. so here he is JD in the flesh.

i luv him

[memo-syne]

is it time for me to start posting on tumblr... ? anyways, pls enjoy a hatsune misaki :D

[memo-syne]

Please send those "cis Ronin" fics tho, I've searched high and low and I WANT the suffering 🙏

Nation! I shall post either today or tomorrow, don't worry I did not abandon you all I'm just a stressed lil guy because exams aren't fun

scary news reached my ears that there are people who write ronin as a cisman and i want to ask if any of you ever seen those fanfics and feel like sharing the pain with me so we can suffer together

also dear trans women expect some love coming your way !!

's all

(i will post headcanons for kc li's finding the mc after they went missing cause people are crying from the pain i served... i didn't know it was so painful dawg)

[memo-syne]

This is disgusting behaviour.

A Ronin from Killer Chat love-song❤️

[memo-syne]

I just started tweening again, I CAN'T ENTERTAIN EVEN THE IDEA OF LOSING THAT NOW

[memo-syne]

Quick Ronin with his pets!

[memo-syne]

I need your help.

Hello, my name is Cloud and you might know me by the semi popular Killer Chat fanfic author. And I'm announcing my emergency writing and art commissions (my Kofi is linked) to help me find a cheap apartment to live in, alongside having donations set up. I'm currently a student in high school, and will be trying to get into a college or go into trade, and trying to get a job.

I'm not one to really reach out for help, but the situation I'm in right now is difficult. For the past 6 or 7 years of my life, I had to deal with my step father who is a down beat dad and an abuser. Now, I'm going to be living in my aunt's small trailer that's meant for one person.

When I first moved in with him at the age of 11 or 12, my family was homeless and he was an alcoholic. His alcoholism caused a lot of trauma for both me and my mother as I had to watch him abuse her. In 2019 we found a house, but in December he went to jail for domestic violence.

You might ask, "why couldn't you leave?" It's difficult to leave when you're financially dependent on someone, which my mom was. Alongside I'm trans and our shelters around us aren't supportive. So for my sake as a minor at that time, it was best to wait.

My step father went to jail, then to rehab, then came back. But from 2020 until now, his aggressive behavior hasn't gotten better. He didn't lay hands on my mom or me again, but the emotional and mental abuse was still there, every, single, day.

What caused this downfall for me was March 23rd, when my step dad started to spiral and made me fear my life, starting to hate crime me for being trans towards my mother, and I will not tolerate that. On top of that, for the past 7 months, he's been wanting to kick me out and has threatened to kick me out almost monthly.

I will not tolerate being hated, feeling unsafe, and fearing for my life. I'm tired, and I need out, and all the help I can get.

Me and my mother talked about it, but as mentioned, I'll be living with my aunt, especially since I am an adult and I'm able to leave. It's somewhere, but having a place that doesn't have a thick coat of tobacco is something I'm willing to work my everything for a place to call home all to myself and finally be free from this trauma.

So, I set up Kofi, alongside a PayPal, Chime, and CashApp account. I have commissions open, both writing and art, alongside a donation goal set up. All the money that's given is going straight to a savings account that I have towards a cheap apartment in the area of living I'm moving to. A simple one bed one bath.

I would like to thank you all for your love and support. You all are amazing and mean everything to me. If you can't donate, just reblogging would do wonders for me.

Thank you.

[memo-syne]

Mushroom

[memo-syne]

Hey so. I’m just gonna.

Hands you printable models of your kc mc skins 🎀

I use the ronin and misaki ones religiously when playing so thank you sm! 🤭🌷

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO CUTE???? HOLY SHIT I'M PRINTING THEM ASAP!!!!

[memo-syne]

KC! As Epic! Characters bc why not

(based on my personal interpretation of the MUSICAL, and the Killer Chat! Characters.)

(Mythologically accurate depictions will not be considered)

Ronin ~ Odysseus

After a life of hardship they choose to embrace a more demonic/monstrous side to themselves inorder to protect themselves

Despite their hard lives, and "embracing their inner monsters", they are never completely gone.

^ Shown by Odysseus in the Ithaca Saga, and by Ronin through many ways such as; not letting us romance him when we treat Angel badly, giving us the "shovel talk" when we try to romance others, and of course finally letting us in at the end of his route

Angel ~ Circe

Femme Fatale

Distrustful of men due to past history

Takes care of other people more than they take care of themselves

Misaki ~ Scylla

^ Evident by Circe "throwing herself" at Odysseus inorder to protect her nymphs, and Angel killing for her friends more than she does for herself

"We must do what it takes to survive"

Blood is shed when they're paid

Neither of them do what they do for "fun" or for no reason

^ Scylla had to eat six of Odysseus' men because sailors are her main source of food, while Misaki has to kill inorder to not starve to death on the streets

V ~ Eurylochus

I am grasping at straws here Ik

Just wants what's best for the crew/society

Both are willing to stoop to their "enemy's" level for what they believe is the greater good

^ Eurylochus mutinied Odysseus in an attempt to save the men they had left, V hunted down serial killers inorder to restore peace in what's left of society.

I might be hallucinating the straws

[memo-syne]

*eats them*

It's time to let your ribs rest

And then wash it 🤍🫶

[memo-syne]

Instead of gaslighting the cast into thinking we're a serial killer, then gaining their favor and love by showing our dedication and loyalty to them and their friends, we actually are a killer and we just gaslight everyone into hating eachother

Might be a dumb ask, but will there ever be a Ther-featured game? Basically, Ronin was in KC, will we ever get smth silly with a Ther AU?

i really love ther estridge, deeply, so this is more likely than not going to happen (eventually) 🤍 i definitely do not intend gluttony gods to be the only time you see them.

in terms of "silly AU", depends if i have the concept for it :P i am occasionally inclined to make an angelwood chatsim, which ngl, you playing as ther and dragging everyone to filth would be extremely funny to me

[memo-syne]

Pngtube stuff just for fun

[memo-syne]

I HAVE A VISION!!!