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menialthoughts · 5 months

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unconditionally (05) — jung hoseok

summary: for the past three, almost four years, it has only been you and your twins after having been abandoned by your ex-boyfriend. you expected it to remain that way for the rest of your lives until one day you accidentally run into one of his bandmates at the park

pairings: ex-boyfriend/baby daddy!hoseok x f. reader (exes to lovers)

warnings: none

a/n: sorry for the delay in uploading! finals took up all of my time and energy for the past month :,) this is definitely not the best chapter i’ve written so please have low expectations

rating: pg-13

word count: 5637

taglist: @darkphoenix5037 @mushroom-main @partyparty-yah @persnyako @violetpenguinkris @loveforred @thedarkeside @coffeewanderer @inlovewithallmusic @deejay08 @cryinginmyroomsposts @ilikekpop-c @aloverga @as-hs-blog @bangtanlovesk @mintchocoss @hopeonysus @smoltika @jjkluver7 @earth2joon @ayoo-bangtan @honsoolgloss @nochuel @addictedtohobi @renoirgoh @btsfluffsworld @scuzmunkie @bellamuerte1987 @strawbi-reads @secfir @missmischief1408 @savage-aespa @anqelws @mixedfandxms

Maybe you were a narcissistic self-centered person but sometimes you felt like the universe was out to get you, that it was targeting specifically you in hopes of making you miserable. You first came to this conclusion after Hoseok broke up with you and left you to have two children all on your own. You came to this conclusion again after your parents disowned you for being pregnant with Hoseok's children. They always hated Hoseok and his field of work so it was no surprise to you that they cut you out of their lives after you broke the news to them that you were a single mother. Add carrying twins and working for nine months, giving birth alone, spending sleepless nights for months on end, randomly meeting Jungkook, running into his bandmates in a parking garage, Hoseok confronting you at your cafe and threatening to take you to court, and Seokjin texting you out of the blue into the mix and surely, everybody would come to the same conclusion that the universe was out to get you.

You were set up for failure since the start.

"Oh, you've got to be joking." You mumbled under your breath, staring at the message that sat on your phone screen.

The texts seemed to be mocking you as you reread what Seokjin said over and over again. It had been over twelve hours since you received the messages yet you were scared to even think of a response. You weren't entirely sure whether you believed his words or not but he seemed quite sincere in his apology. You debated on telling Eunae what was happening but knew she would tell you just to block him and quite frankly, you didn't know if you wanted to do that.

"Eomma, up."

Jaehee shook your arm, effectively shaking you of your thoughts as well as she stared up at you with doe eyes. You stared down at her, still unable to get over the fact that she was Hoseok's twin. Sometimes it was difficult for you to look at her when she resembled your ex-boyfriend so much but her stark contrast in personality reminded you that they weren't all that similar. You smiled at her before scooping her up in your arms. She immediately wrapped her arms around your neck to hold onto your hair as she rested her chin on your shoulder. Grabbing onto your hair was an attachment she had since she was born; it was as if holding onto it gave her a sense of security despite already being wrapped up tightly in your arms.

"Why are you up so early, baby?" You cooed, brushing her hair with your hand gently.

She responded with a deep sigh, making you hold in a laugh that was on the verge of eruption.

"You're three, what's got you sighing like a forty-year-old office worker with a 9-5 job?" You asked.

Jaehee giggled as if she understood what you were saying, turning her head to press her cheek against your shoulder instead. You took a seat at the dining table with her in your arms, rocking side to side gently. The two of you basked in the sunlight that was shining through your kitchen window, enjoying the warmth it was providing. You were sure Jaehee fell back asleep and was ready to tuck her back into bed when her tiny voice startled you.

"Eomma?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Do I have an appa?"

"What?"

You froze at the unexpected question, shocked that Jaehee even understood the concept that she and Jaeyoung were supposed to have two parents. They had been too young in the past to realize you were the only one raising them and that they were fatherless but you knew they would ask about Hoseok one day. What you didn't know was how soon they would catch on and how quickly they would ask you why they didn't have a father. You supposed you should've better prepared yourself for this moment as children were much more perceptive than you realized but you couldn't have predicted that Jaehee would ask the whereabouts of her father at seven in the morning.

"Do I have an appa? Everybody at daycare has appa. What about me and Jae-Jae?"

Jaehee stared at you with big and round eyes, demanding an explanation. You gulped, scared that you were going to say the wrong thing before you cleared your throat.

"Appa is busy working right now. He's far away but he misses you and Jaeyoungie so much." You hoped the big smile on your face would convince her and that the conversation would be dropped.

Much to your dismay, however, Jaehee kept asking questions. "Can I see appa? Or can appa come home?"

Your stomach twisted at the question and you felt your heart dropping. You shook your head slowly, tears burning your eyes upon seeing the disappointment that filled her eyes. She frowned but nodded her head nonetheless.

"We can go see appa when he's not busy." You lied, plastering another smile on your face. "I'll ask him when we can go visit him, okay?"

"Okay!" Jaehee clapped her hands eagerly. "I'm hungry."

You turned on Pororo for her while you made her breakfast, allowing yourself to reflect on the conversation you just had with her. It didn't occur to you that the twins would notice the other kids at their daycare being dropped off and/or picked up by both of their parents daily. Whenever you went to pick them up, they were both so engrossed in playing with their friends that you assumed they never noticed who was coming to pick up the other children. It was your fault for not realizing exactly how perceptive they were and also your fault for not sitting them down earlier to talk about Hoseok.

For the rest of the morning, you felt sick and couldn't take your mind off of the conversation with Jaehee. You mentally cursed Hoseok for leaving you in such a difficult situation; he was able to live a comfortable life for the past four years, making his name known globally while remaining oblivious to the struggles you had to face while raising the twins. Why did it have to be you who had to explain why Jaehee and Jaeyoung grew up in a single-parent household? How was it fair that he lived a wonderful life watching his career skyrocket while you were struggling to make ends meet with two children?

You were always grateful and blessed to have Jaehee and Jaeyoung in your life. Even after the countless problems you faced since your pregnancy, you would do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant that they would be your children; they were truly the best thing that ever happened to you despite the circumstances you were under. But sometimes you couldn't help but feel resentment toward Hoseok for putting you in a helpless situation while he remained a deadbeat dad.

Once you dropped them off at daycare, you finally opened the message that Seokjin sent you the night before. You avoided opening it after reading it from your notifications but now you felt like it was your obligation to reply. Making amends with Seokjin was the first step to rebuilding your relationship with Hoseok. As much as you didn't want him back in your life, you also didn't want to deprive the twins of their father, especially since they were getting older. Even if Hoseok didn't deserve to be back in your life.

Seokjin shrieked in delight as your name popped up on his phone screen. He repeatedly kissed the device, ready to cry tears of joy over the fact that you replied to his messages. He got weird looks from the other HYBE artists, who were trying to work out in the gym in peace but he ignored them. None of them said a word, deciding that pretending as if they didn't see their senior act like a complete fool was the best thing to do.

Hi Seokjin-ssi, thank you for reaching out to me. I really appreciate that you want to take time out of your busy schedule to meet up. I think it would be best if I try to match your free time since you are considerably busier than I am. Please let me know when you are free and I will adjust my time accordingly

Quite honestly, it wasn't the response Seokjin hoped for. Of course, he was joyful that you even replied to him and agreed to meet in the first place but the way you were treating him like a business partner pricked at his heart. You didn't even have to call him 'Seokjin-ssi'!

Regardless, he quickly answered your text, hastily spewing out random days and times that he may be available within the next week. He wasn't entirely sure if all the times he listed were in his actual free time but he was willing to cancel or reschedule anything if it meant that he could see you. You replied with a few dates, asking him to choose which one was the best for him.

"What's got you so excited, hyung?"

Seokjin looked up to see Jungkook at the gym entrance, staring at him weirdly. The older man straightened up, realizing he was blocking the way, and quickly stepped aside. He cleared his throat, smiling brightly. "Hi, Jungkookie. Y/N responded to my text."

"What? Really?"

Of course, Jungkook was the only other person besides Yoongi who knew about Seokjin reaching out to you. The maknae was more eager than either of his hyungs and constantly pestered Seokjin about it regularly. He snatched Seokjin’s phone much to the protest of the eldest, easily pushing him back with one hand. He began typing away much to the latter’s dismay, his squawking shrieks disturbing the other artists. By now, most of their juniors were watching them curiously, some amused by the situation while others were annoyed.

“Give me my phone back, Jeon Jungkook!” Seokjin screeched, smacking him harshly in the shoulder.

Jungkook ignored his hyung and quickly typed out a response, before tossing the phone back to Seokjin. "I did the hard work for you, you're welcome."

Seokjin shot him a deadly glare, snatching his phone away with a scoff. "I don't need you to do the 'hard work' for me, you brat. I already had a response planned out for when she answered me!"

"It was probably something overly pushy. You get like that when you're excited." Jungkook shrugged. "Did you know that?"

Instead of answering him, Seokjin looked down at his phone to see what the maknae sent. He supposed he couldn't be angry because the message wasn't all that bad. It was polite, respectful, and went straight to the point. The only issue was that Jungkook scheduled to meet up with you at the same time he planned to meet his brother and his nephew. Perhaps Seokjin should have been more careful about which dates he picked because one thing he was reluctant about was missing any opportunity to see his nephew. Jungkook happened to pick the one day where both he and his brother were available to meet up for dinner. Seokjin mentally cursed Jungkook before pulling up Seokjung's phone number, ready to apologize profusely for dipping last minute. As much as he loved his brother and nephew, talking to you and apologizing was much more important than grabbing lunch with them. Seokjung would understand, wouldn't he?

"Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook."

You felt like throwing up. As you pulled down the blinds of your cafe to give you and Seokjin some privacy from prying eyes, you could feel your nerves bubbling up inside of you. The stick of mint gum you popped in your mouth in hopes that the mint would ease your nausea did nothing. Even as he walked into the cafe with a wide smile on his face and a handful of gifts for you and the twins, you couldn't find your nerves easing in any sort of way. You requested that Seokjin meet at your cafe just in case somebody caught a photo of you talking over dinner and kickstarted rumors. The last thing you needed was for the media and Bangtan's fans to rip you apart for even breathing the same air as the Kim Seokjin. Maybe asking him to enter through the back door was a bit much but you would rather be safe than sorry.

"I hope you still like mulhoe." You set down a bowl in front of him, alongside other banchan that you think would go well with the cold fish soup.

You never intended to cook a full meal for Seokjin and planned on having takeout but the only way you could settle your nerves the slightest bit was by cooking. Now your feet were swollen and your hands hurt for a man you had ill feeling towards.

"Of course, I love mulhoe. It's still my favorite." He looked up at you with a smile before bowing his head. "Thanks, Y/N. You didn't have to go out of your way to make this for me."

"Oh trust me, I didn't want to." You mumbled underneath your breath.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

The two of you ate in silence, occasionally making small talk with Seokjin asking you questions. It was without a doubt awkward considering the circumstances that your friendship ended under but nonetheless, Seokjin was happy to be in your presence again. Truthfully, he had been thinking about you a lot recently and heavily considered reaching out to you behind Hoseok's back. Luckily, Jungkook made things far more easier by taking Bam on a walk to a park where he usually never went to.

"Can I be honest with you?" Seokjin asked.

You looked up from your bowl of mulhoe with wide eyes, feeling the cold broth run down your chin. You quickly wiped yourself off with a napkin before asking, "Out of nowhere?"

"I think it's best if we address the elephant in the room."

"Go on."

Seokjin pressed his lips together, his eyes flitting back and forth nervously as he tried to string together a coherent sentence. He was bracing himself for the rejection he was inevitably going to face which made talking about your breakup with Hoseok all the more difficult.

"I just want you to know that I never believed that you cheated on Hoseok and never sided with him after the breakup. I always had a feeling he was acting rashly upon finding out about your pregnancy and was speaking out of anger but I didn't do anything about it because he's my best friend. It wasn't right of me to side with him and cut you off so abruptly but I want you to know that I never wanted to. It was a messy situation and I definitely should have stood up for you so things could have turned out differently. I know what I say now isn't going to change or undo everything you went through but I wanted you to know I still care about you and never stopped. I'm sorry for not being a better friend, Y/N. I'm sorry for ending our friendship without a second thought and not bothering to hear your side of the breakup. I wish I protected you from all of the struggles you went through so you could've had at least one shoulder to lean on. I still love you like a younger sister and I hope that one day you'll forgive me, even if I have to apologize every day for the rest of my life."

The chopsticks you were holding onto fell out of your grasp as you stared at Seokjin in silence. An overwhelming range of emotions washed over you, ranging from hurt to disbelief, from anger to relief. You waited for four years to hear the apology you desperately wanted but now that you heard it, you didn't know what to make of it. You continued to stare at Seokjin in silence, who continued to stare back at you with equal intensity. The rim of his eyes was red as they began welling up with tears, sending a surge of anger through you. How dare he cry when he was the one who left you behind?

"You never sided with Hoseok?" You asked, your voice booming around the empty cafe. "You're telling me that I spent all of these years thinking you hated me only to learn that you've never felt that way?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N, I really am. Please forgive me." Seokjin pleaded. "I wanted to tell Hoseok that he was wrong and that he ended your relationship too quickly but I couldn't take your side. It would have started way too many issues and the last thing anybody wanted was for our management team to get involved. I never meant to hurt you and I'm so sorry that you did. I regret not standing up for you back then and I always will."

"It's not about taking sides, Seokjin." You snarled. "It was never about that and you know that. How dare you minimize it to only that?"

Seokjin tried to explain himself but you immediately cut him off, unwilling to hear more of what he had to say.

"I was left to raise two kids on my own without any ounce of support. My parents disowned me because Hoseok got me pregnant, I was kicked out of the apartment I shared with him, I had to work for eight months while I was pregnant so I could afford to get by during my maternity leave but you want to make this about taking sides. The only thing I wanted was for at least one of you to hear me about but apparently, even that was too much to ask for. Why did I have to be punished for a mistake that me and Hoseok made? How is that fair for me?"

You couldn't stop the stream of tears that fell down your face even though you didn't want to show him the extent of how much he hurt you. Your shoulders shook violently as you sobbed into your hands, the initial hurt and betrayal you felt when Hoseok broke up with you washing over you once again. Endless apologies fell from Seokjin's lips as he cried with you, begging for forgiveness mixing in with his cries.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so so sorry. I wish things went differently and I tell myself every day that I should've handled the situation better and should have reached out to you way earlier. I'm sorry for brushing away the fact that you were not only Hoseok's girlfriend but one of my best friends. I'll do whatever I can and whatever you want me to to make up for it. Please forgive me."

Quite frankly, you weren't sure how much longer you could hold a grudge against Seokjin or if you even wanted to be angry at him anymore. The hurt of him leaving you without an explanation would always linger but who were you to put the blame on him when Hoseok was the reason why he ghosted you in the first place?

“I hope you know I’m not letting you off easy. You have a lot to make up for, Seokjin.” You whispered.

Seokjin reached across the table to entangle his hand with yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I'll do whatever it takes."

You woke up feeling miserable the next morning. Your eyes were red and swollen and you felt as if you didn’t get a wink of sleep. Luckily for you, Seungkwan and Joshua (who graciously agreed to watch them last minute) put the twins to sleep by the time you came back so you immediately collapsed into bed after washing up for the night. Even after getting a full eight hours of sleep, you were exhausted, both mentally and physically.

After countless more apologies from Seokjin, the two of you found a middle ground and decided to begin rebuilding your friendship. Although you weren't too keen on letting him back into your life so quickly, you felt like you had nothing else to lose. If your friendship with him didn't work out, then it didn't work out. You lost him once so it wouldn't hurt if you lost him again, especially now that you had a support system behind you.

"Can you believe it's only eleven in the morning? We have another six hours before we close." Sohee sighed, leaning her head against the counter as she watched people pass by the cafe.

"Don't remind me." Taewoo sighed, taking a seat on the stool beside her.

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head at your employees. "You guys are like this every day. Why not take a day off when I offer you one?"

"And leave our sajangnim to fend for herself?" Taewoo asked. "No way."

You scowled at the name, swatting at him with the rag you were using to wipe off the dust from the display case. "I told you to stop calling me that."

"If we had at least one interesting thing happen a day then I wouldn't be complaining. But the only thing that happens is somebody dropping their drink and I have to mop it up."

"Delivery for Y/L/N Y/N?"

You looked up from the display case, peeking your head over to see who was calling your name. A young man was holding a large bouquet of flowers in his hands, immediately piquing your interest. You waved to the delivery man with a smile, who happily handed you the bouquet. Sohee and Taewoo eyed the bouquet of flowers in interest before sharing a look.

"Have a nice day, ma'am and I hope you enjoy your flowers!"

"Thank you!"

"I've spoken too soon." Sohee mused. "Something interesting is happening. Our sajangnim seems to have an admirer."

You were pleasantly surprised to receive a bouquet of flowers and you couldn't remember the last time you were given one. You admired the blue and purple hydrangeas, happy that whoever sent you the flowers sent you hypoallergenic ones. Not many people knew you were allergic to flowers because of the pollen so you supposed they were from one of your friends. You picked up the card that was attached to the bottom of the bouquet, reading the message that was inscribed on it.

To the most wonderful girl I know, I hope you still love hydrangeas just as much as you used to. I'll keep fighting for you as long as you'll let me. You'll always have a special place in my heart — Hoseok

"Damn you, Jung Hoseok." You mumbled underneath your breath, slamming the card back onto the counter. "Of course, I still love hydrangeas. Does he really think I would stop liking my favorite flowers because of him?"

"Who did you get those flowers from, noona?" Taewoo asked, trying to peer at the name on the card.

Your finger was hiding Hoseok's name much to his dismay. The last thing you needed was for your employees to learn that you were receiving flowers from a BTS member (who also happened to be your ex-boyfriend and baby daddy) when your relationship with him had never been public knowledge. While the media and fans suspected Hoseok was in a relationship with someone, they never had enough evidence to prove their theory to be correct and they had no clue who you were. The two of you and BigHit did an excellent job at hiding your relationship.

"Just an old friend." You waved off his question. "An early birthday gift."

Sohee nodded her head disappointedly. "Right, your birthday is coming up soon."

"Gosh, don’t sound too excited, Yeon Sohee.”

You brought the bouquet into the backroom where you kept your belongings. You placed it neatly next to your purse, admiring the beautiful colors for a moment before shaking your head.

“Snap out of it, Y/N. It’s just a bouquet of flowers given by the most vile man to ever walk this planet.” You lightly smacked yourself in the face to snap yourself out of the reverie you had fallen into.

You would be lying if you said that it didn’t remind you of all the times Hoseok would surprise you with a bouquet of hydrangeas. Even before either of you dated, Hoseok would gift you flowers on special occasions. After you began dating, he would bring you a new bouquet of hydrangeas whenever the old flowers died out. Your apartment was always full of beautiful and colorful flowers no matter what time of year it was. It was heart-wrenching to see, to say the least.

Full transparency, you expected Hoseok to drop the situation after your fight with him a week ago but it seemed like he was adamant about making amends with you. Sending you a bouquet of flowers barely moved your cold heart towards him but he was ready to pull out all of the tricks up his sleeve to win you over.

And possibly win you back.

“Geez, when I said to invite a few people, I didn’t think it would mean the whole group.” You muttered, stepping inside to let everybody in.

When you invited Seungcheol and Eunae over for dinner, you told Seungcheol that if any of the other members were free, they were more than welcome to join as well. What you didn't expect was to see Chan standing at your door with a wide grin on his face with the rest of the Seventeen members sporting the same goofy smile as him in the back.

"Samchon?" Jaehee waddled over to the door, smiling up at her uncle.

“I’m hurt, noona. Do you not want us here?” Chan sniffed, brushing past you to snatch Jaehee off of the ground.

“At least a warning would have been nice.”

You returned to the kitchen to finish making the tteokbokki you had just started while the rest of the Seventeen members filed into your apartment. They brought various dishes for dinner, ranging from bossam to fried chicken. You profusely thanked them for bringing over an abundance of food, grateful that they were able to pull something together last minute.

"What the hell is this?"

Eunae snatched the bouquet of flowers that were sitting on your countertop, staring it closely. Seungcheol immediately joined her, his chest pressed against her back as they observed the flowers closely. They tried to look for any indication of who might've sent it but there wasn't even the slightest bit of a hint of where you got it from.

"Who are you getting flowers from, Y/L/N Y/N?" Eunae eyed you suspiciously, glancing between you and the bouquet as if the person who gave you them would appear.

"Are you back in the dating scene after four long years? About time that you do. You're turning into a hag." Seungcheol piped up.

You scowled and glared at him, beginning to chop the onion that was on the cutting board more aggressively. "Insult me again and I'll dice your dick like this onion."

Mingyu whistled lowly, "Damn, I don't think she's kidding, hyung."

“You’re one to talk, Seungcheol hyung. You’re the same age as her.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes.

"Who gives a fuck about Seungcheol hyung's age and dick? Who gave you those flowers, noona?" Soonyoung demanded,

You were beginning to regret inviting everybody over for dinner. You cursed your past self for not having a quiet night with the twins and allowing for the dinner to be an open invite. Quite honestly, you were surprised that Seungcheol and Eunae didn't invite even more people over.

"Hoseok gave them to me." You mumbled.

"What?" Seokmin scrunched his eyebrows. "We can't hear you."

"Hoseok gave them to me." You repeated yourself, raising your voice so loudly that it silenced everybody in the living room and kitchen. Your face flushed before you opened the fridge to grab shredded mozzarella cheese. "I got a delivery earlier today and it was from Hoseok."

Eunae dropped the bouquet of flowers back on the countertop, her face reflecting that of disgust. Seungcheol was making the same face as her much to your amusement but it quickly dissipated when they both shot you a glare. You nervously chuckled, facing the stove instead as you dumped cheese over half of the tteokbokki.

"Why is he giving you flowers, Y/N?" Jeonghan raised his eyebrows, thoroughly entertained by what was happening.

"He's trying to get back on good terms with me." You muttered, placing the lid over the pan to help the cheese melt faster.

"What?" Eunae demanded. "Speak up and stop mumbling. You're not a child."

Irritation shot through you at her harsh tone to which you snapped back, "He sent flowers to me because he's trying to get back on good terms with me. Not that it's anybody's business."

Seungcheol frowned at your rude tone. "Watch it, Y/N. She was just asking."

"And you guys don't need to know every bit of information about me. Who cares who I got flowers from and who cares about why Hoseok gave them to me? I would've told you guys eventually." You replied.

Joshua placed his hand on your shoulder, giving you a concerned look. "Are you okay, Y/N?"

You normally weren't an agitated and snappy person but for some reason, you were on edge ever since Hoseok sent the flowers. As nice as they were, you were still weary of him and held ill feelings. It was wrong of you to let your irritation out on Eunae but her remark rubbed you the wrong way. "I'm fine. Can you take out the drinks from the fridge?"

He didn't seem convinced but nodded his head nonetheless. Eunae narrowed her eyes at you, mentally making a note to talk to you once everybody else left your apartment. You avoided her intense stare, opting to take the tteokbokki off of the stove and place it next to the rest of the food that was brought by the others.

"Dang, Hoseok sunbaenim must have spent a lot of money on this bouquet of flowers," Jun observed, taking the hydrangeas out of the vase. "You could take somebody out with these."

Soonyoung yanked them out of his hands with a frown. "He has a lot of audacity sending you flowers have all of that bullshit he spewed at you."

"I mean at least he's trying now." Minghao pointed out. "He could've chosen to continue on with his life without Y/N and the twins."

"He should've tried earlier." Seungkwan rolled his eyes, placing the flowers in the vase. "He's ruining our agenda."

"Agenda? What agenda?"

Seungkwan's eyes widened at Joshua's question, nervously chuckling after realizing nobody was going to back him up. "Oh, nothing."

Mingyu subtly elbowed him while you sent him a glare. You quickly switched the topic by asking Joshua to take Jaehee and Jaeyoung to wash their hands in the bathroom.

"Sorry, noona." Seungkwan sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

You sighed, "It's okay, Kwannie. It happens."

"He really is ruining our agenda, you know." Seokmin piped up. "Hong Y/N is never going to happen at this rate."

His comment caused several weird looks from the rest of the members who had not a single clue about the 'Hong Y/N' agenda. You swatted at his shoulder, harshly shushing him but that didn't stop the others from being nosy.

"The what?" Jeonghan looked thoroughly amused by the conversation. "Do Y/N and Shua like each other or something?"

"No!" You exclaimed loudly. "They're just being annoying."

"Don't think you think Y/N and Joshua go well together? They would make a great couple." Seungcheol grinned.

Vernon nodded his head slowly. "Yeah, they would make a pretty good couple now that you mention it."

Your mouth fell open, feeling betrayed that he agreed with them. You never thought that Vernon out of all people would enable such ridiculous behavior from the other members but you supposed that he was also a mystery a lot of the time. "Stop encouraging them. It's ridiculous."

"What's so ridiculous about love?" Soonyoung asked dramatically.

You scoffed. "There is no love between us other than platonic love. Besides, you guys are forgetting that Haerin exists. She's visiting him next week because she finally got enough days off from work to take a longer trip."

"That doesn't mean we can't still root for you guys." Mingyu argued.

"Have some respect for her. She's known Josh way longer than I have and she actually likes him. He should be in a relationship with someone who has feelings for him. Crazy concept, right?"

Seokmin booed, giving you a double thumbs down. "You're so lame, Y/N."

"How about the rest of you go and find yourself a girlfriend before worrying about other people?" You snapped.

Eunae whistled, "Damn, she got you guys there. Thirteen members but only one has been in a committed relationship while the rest of you can't keep a partner for more than a month. That's tough."

"Oh shut up, Eunae."

"Please, just drop it. I don't want to talk about me and Joshua."

Your best friend narrowed her eyes at you, making it clear that the two of you would talk after everybody went home for dinner. You avoided her gaze, choosing to set up the remainder of the food instead. Joshua returned with the twins with a soaked sweatshirt, looking unamused. You stifled a laugh and handed him a plate as a way to say sorry for the mess your children caused.

"Dinner's ready. Come help yourselves."

#ho ho ho the plot thickens #goodness men sure can be dense #concerned about this convo with eunae though #grabbing my popcorn #jhope fic

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menialthoughts · 7 months

Text

Master List

Sixteen

Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Chapter summary: getting closer with the pack means you'll have to learn to live with Kim Namjoon.

Warnings: drinking, breaking things, yknow namjoon stuff.

WC: 7.6K

After both your heats, you and Hoseok were nearly inseparable. When you were home, you followed him around like a little puppy, and he absolutely adored it. He appreciated how well you had taken care of his home and everyone in it while he was off his feet. When he told you as much, you assured him that it was your pleasure, and you would gladly do any chores he needed from you.

But your housework wasn't the only thing Hoseok had come to love.

You had become his new favorite cuddle buddy, much to your tiny pack's annoyance. Any time he could get his arms around you, he'd have you settled right against him with a proud smile on his face. And you certainly weren't complaining. You'd never known that omegas' cuddles were the best. Soft and warm and sweet smelling. Being held by Hobi was bliss. You wouldn't admit it to anyone, but you felt a bit of jealousy every time you scented Jin's sweet, nutty smell on Hoseok's skin, knowing that he had gotten to hold your omega all night long.

It wasn't until you came home from work one afternoon a few weeks after your heat and Hobi pulled you onto the couch, insisting you take a nap, that you realized something was different. You could still smell the light fragrance of Hoseok's body wash, so you knew he'd showered a few hours ago. But he smelled like praline pecans. Nutty like Seokjin, and different from Hoseok normal brown sugar. A new blend of the two.

"I'm going to stop working," you said suddenly.

He pulled back so he could look down at your face. "That would be great, but why so sudden?"

You shrugged and nestled back into his chest. "I just want to help you here more. It seems kind of silly to be cleaning for other people when I should be here cleaning with you."

He couldn't argue with that. Yoongi had told him about how you had called their house your home after your last heat, and it made his heart soar. He certainly wasn't going to deny you the domestic bliss he had always wanted to share.

"I like the sound of that," he murmured into your hair. "I would love to keep you here."

You were anxious to tell Yoongi about your decision, but when he got home he looked stressed and dejected. His shoulders hunched in a way you hadn't ever seen before. Seeing him look so weary made your heart ache. You approached him quietly as he took off his shoes in the entryway.

When you took his hand, one look into your sympathetic doe eyes was all it took to bring a genuine, lighthearted smile to his face. Somehow, one look from you and your tiny hands around his large one manifested energy from thin air. He pulled you closer and cradled you against his chest. Silent, except for a soft happy rumble in his chest, he held you like that for several minutes, but you wouldn't move for all the world, content to gently sway in his arms.

"Was it a bad day?" You asked softly. He hummed. "Come sit down, and I'll get you something to eat," you told him as you pulled away, ready to take his hand and guide him down the hall to the kitchen. But he pulled you back, unready to allow so much space between you. He picked you up by the backs of your thighs and hoisted you up, leaving you no choice but to wrap your arms and legs around him.

"In a minute," he mumbled into your neck, where he took deep breaths of your scent, allowing it to fill his lungs and soothe his nerves.

You complied and let him carry you to the couch as if you were no more than a child. Even if he was tired, holding you was nothing, not compared to the benefits.

"What happened?" you pressed gently after a moment.

"Nothing, really." He didn't need to burden you with the DOA he'd had today. Car crashes could cause such carnage, and he didn't need you to think of that. "I asked my supervisor if I could switch to a permanent day shift, but he denied me," he said after a moment of toying with your hair between his fingers.

"Oh. Why did you want to change?"

"I was hoping it would allow me to spend more time with you," he admitted. "I hate that I'm not able to see you. One of us is always working."

"Oh." A smile tugged at your lips and you cleared your throat. "Well, actually, I was thinking…" He lifted your chin gently with his fingers to see your eyes and waited for you to go on. "I want to quit my job. I-if that's okay."

"Really?" He asked excitedly as he pushed you away to look at your face better.

"Yeah, if it's not a problem," you answered quietly.

Yoongi pulled your hips tighter against him. "Of course it's not a problem! I was never going to tell you to quit, but I was always hoping you would. But why now? Did something happen at work?" His expression turned serious in an instant.

You shook your head. "No. Work is fine. I just feel like it's time to help Hobi out. And I can take care of you and Jimin. You're my pack after all."

"We don't expect you to cook and clean for us, princess," he said, tucking your hair behind your ear. Even though he meant it, he felt his heart flutter knowing you might want to.

"But it's my job."

"It isn't. That's not why we want you here. It's not why we're keeping you around. It never will be." His tone was serious. His eyes looked intently into yours. Heat flushed all over your body, and you tried to backtrack.

"I know that, Yoongi. I actually wasn't thinking that way, which is kind of funny because normally I would. This isn't a-take-care-of-alpha-before-he-throws-you-out thing. I just care about you and I think about taking care of you a lot. Want to know if you're eating well and sleeping well."

Yoongi's smile returned, and he pulled you closer, resting his forehead against your cheek. "Good. That makes me more happy than you'll ever know."

"Aish. I'm not really doing it for you," you teased. "I want to stay home and help Hobi."

"Ah, yes, you're new BFF," he teased back. "That's fine. I'm sure he'll be happy."

You nodded. "I'll put my two weeks notice in tomorrow."

"Why bother? Just quit. You're never gonna need another job again." He grasped the back of your head and pulled you into a passionate kiss, leaving you breathless.

"Aren't you gonna eat something?" You asked hazily, a long moment later.

"Yeah," he grinned. "I'll eat you,"

"No!" You screamed amid your giggles as he playfully tried to bite your neck, tickling your sides at the same time. When you were gasping for breath, he scooped you up in his arms again and carried you into the kitchen. He set you down to sit on top of the kitchen counter.

"I'll fix something for you," you told him as he walked toward the refrigerator.

"You stay," he ordered as he looked inside. "Did you cook this?" he asked, showing you a container of the leftovers from the evening's dinner. You nodded. "Then your work here is done," he said before placing the meal in the microwave.

"I heard the sound of a happy pup," Jimin said as he entered the kitchen. You blushed when he stood beside you. He had been sitting in the pack's nest with Namjoon and Jungkook when they heard your screams and laughter. He wasn't the only one curious, but he was the only one who ventured out to see what was going on.

Yoongi beamed. "Y/N has decided to quit her job and stay home."

"Oh, good thing you made that choice before Taehyung started courting you," Jimin responded slyly.

"What do you mean? Court me?" You stared at him in confusion.

Yoongi nodded. "It's true. He asked me for my blessing already. I told him I don't mind. He said he's going to take it slow, not jump into anything. But now you'll have plenty of time to get to know each other." Yoongi wriggled his eyebrows.

Your voice caught in the back of your throat. Too many feelings swirled deep in your stomach, and you couldn't parse them out. "You don't mind?" you finally asked.

Yoongi gave you a soft smile and lifted your face to meet his eyes. "As much as I love our little pack, I've always known it wouldn't always be the three of us. I mean, I hoped. There's no rush, but I think some day it will probably be all eight of us. And that will be great, too."

You tried not to think about that possibility too often. It made your head spin. Seven packmates. Four alphas. You weren't sure you could handle it. "But I only want you to be my alpha. If Jin–" you cut yourself off abruptly.

"If Jin what, princess?"

"If Jin wants to claim me, won't he be my pack alpha? But I only want you to be my pack alpha!"

Yoongi couldn't bear how childlike you sounded. It made his heart hurt to hear you so anxious and confused. He smoothed a hand over your hair and pulled your head to his shoulder.

"It's okay, baby. Jin will never be your pack alpha. I'll always be your number one. You really think I'd let anyone take my place in your heart?" he cooed.

"What are you so worried for?" Jimin chided. "Who's talking about Jin? It's just Taehyung right now. He's a great alpha. You'll see."

You sniffed and pulled away from Yoongi when the microwave beeped. "Why did you say it was good I'm quitting my job because of him?"

Jimin smirked. "Taehyung could never allow his omega to work outside the home."

"Why not?"

"One, it's too dangerous. It would drive his anxiety crazy. Best to keep omegas safe in the den. Two, it would hurt his pride. He makes more than enough money to support you and Hobi all on his own. And three, Taehyung may have the disposition of a golden retriever, but even the sweetest dogs don't like strange dogs looking at their bones." Jimin grinned deviously.

You pushed his shoulder. "I'm not a bone!"

"Oh, yeah? Just wait until he starts gnawing on you!" Jimin picked up your arm and pretended to bite it much like Yoongi had before, and again, you thrilled them both with your shrieks and giggles.

While the days got longer and hotter with more sunlight, it seemed that each workday dragged on slower than they ever had before. You were diligently waiting your two weeks, but by the time you were nearly there, you wished you'd taken Yoongi's advice to just quit. You were aching to be at home every minute you were gone, and that was a feeling you had never known before.

When Yoongi brought you home on your next to last day of work, you walked into something you'd never seen at the house before. It was something of a party atmosphere, and they were all celebrating the end of the school year alongside Namjoon. Jin and Jimin had yet to return home, but Jungkook and Namjoon had beers in hand, chatting cheerfully at the kitchen table while Taehyung put out snacks on the counter. You walked carefully past them to wash your hands before you sidled up beside Hoseok where he was forming beef patties between his delicate hands.

"Hamburgers for dinner?" You asked.

Hoseok smiled down at you and gestured to the side with his head. "You can slice those onions and tomatoes," he told you before you could ask to help.

When the rest of the pack came home, you all accompanied Hobi outside on the patio while he grilled the burgers. Yoongi anxiously held you back from getting too close to the flames, nervous you might hurt yourself. The afternoon was lovely, and you all decided on eating outside to enjoy the spring weather. You spent most of the time clinging to Yoongi, either in his lap or next to him, holding his hand. He didn't mind in the slightest, nor did he mind the jealous looks he received from Taehyung, who tried to make the both of you jealous by fawning over Jimin. All of them were oblivious to the true reason for your clinginess.

Namjoon tended to stand quietly on the fringes of Seokjin's pack. His status was never in question, and he didn't shy away from sharing his thoughts and feelings, but whenever you were all together, he simply allowed others to take center stage. But tonight was different. Tonight was his celebration for another completed school year, and he felt no need to stay to the side and listen to others. For once, he dominated the majority of the conversation, discussing funny memories from the school year and a few complaints he usually tried to swallow. As the night grew longer and he drank more, his voice boomed louder across the large backyard and you pressed yourself closer to Yoongi.

When it got dark and the air turned chilly, everyone moved back into the kitchen. You were exhausted, but decided to help clean up before you tried to excuse yourself to go to bed. Everyone was having a good time, all of them drinking a little even though you didn't, and you didn't want to bring the mood down, but you were growing tired. When you finished washing the dishes you went to stand by Yoongi, who was laughing heartily to the story that Namjoon was telling. You could wait a few more minutes, but you didn't really want to go to bed alone, and you didn't want to miss out, listening to all their laughter from your room while you sat alone. As Namjoon continued his story, he gestured wildly with his hands. The condensation on the beer bottle made it slick, and the brown glass suddenly flew out of his hand, whizzing past your head in a blur. You were hiding under the counter by the time the glass hit the wall, shattering to pieces and dumping its liquid all over the floor. Shards of class popped around the room as you buried your head in your knees and covered yourself with your arms. A scream built in your throat, but you knew better than to let it out.

Don't scream. Don't scream. It'll only be worse if you scream.

The whole room went silent and motionless for two seconds as they registered what happened. Then at once everything was in motion. Yoongi got out of his chair to check if you were alright, but Taehyung was quicker. He didn't take a moment to ask how you were or assess the damage. He simply gathered you into his arms and lifted you off the ground, careful not to bang your head on the granite countertop. He carried you directly up the stairs and to your room, with Yoongi behind him and Jimin bringing up the rear.

In the kitchen, the remaining two alphas stood, frozen in shock, but Hoseok didn't waste any time putting on shoes and grabbing the broom.

"Hobi, let me," Namjoon tried to say, reaching for the broom when he finally came out of his stupor.

The omega pulled away. "I got it. You stay over there until I get this all cleaned up. There's lots of glass."

The flat, subdued tone of his voice hurt Namjoon as much as the way Hobi wouldn't look at him. "It was an accident," he whispered.

"We know that, Joonie," Jungkook assured him with a light smile. "It's not like it's the first time you've broken something around here. It's just…" His eyes drifted toward the stairs.

"I would never throw something at her," Namjoon defended.

"I know, babe, I know. But she doesn't. It's natural for her to be scared. Don't take it too personally. She's just skittish," Jungkook tried to convince him.

Hoseok felt a tug of war within himself. He was usually always the first one to comfort Namjoon when he accidentally broke something or made a mess. But now he really wanted to check on you, to make sure you weren't hurt or scared. He wanted to hold you in his arms, but he knew if he ran off with the others it would hurt Namjoon, and he knew that it wasn't really his fault. Namjoon was just clumsy, some might say cursed. He never meant to cause chaos, but he did anyway. You would get used to it, eventually, but right now the omega could understand perfectly why you were afraid Namjoon might hurt you without even intending to. His head swirled with competing worries as he swept up the glass and dumped it into the trash can.

"Are you hurt?" Yoongi asked as Taehyung set you down at the edge of your nest. He shouldered the younger alpha out of the way to examine you. You were still too stunned to answer, but it didn't really matter; Yoongi was going to look over every available inch of you regardless. He gently tilted your face this way and that to make sure it was unscathed before he moved onto your arms, lifting and twisting each in turn to ensure your skin was unharmed. There was a small cut on your forearm and he frowned. It wasn't even from the incident that had unfolded moments before. It was from work earlier today, and the blood was already dry—you hadn't even felt it at the time.

"Jimin, go get the first aid kit from the bathroom," he instructed, holding your arms carefully.

Feeling Yoongi's steady hands on you helped to ground you and bring you back to your body, out of your shock and panic. You took in a deep breath and breathed out, "I'm okay."

Jimin shuffled back into the room carrying the first aid kit and handed it to Yoongi. The alpha plucked out an alcohol pad and ripped open the packet with his teeth, spitting out the torn piece.

"It's gonna sting," he whispered, but you didn't react as he swiped it over your skin. "It's dry." You looked down to the very minor wound he was tending to.

"That was from work. It's fine," you told him, but he didn't seem to hear you. He had already taken a bandage from the kit—neon pink—and gently but firmly pressed it over your cut. "Yoongi?" He looked up into your eyes and you could see his own were full of worry. He shrugged.

"It makes me feel better."

You cracked a genuine smile and it lifted some of the weight off his chest.

"Are you sure you're okay, sweet little?" Taehyung asked. His hands were still shaking from the course of adrenaline when he thought you were in danger.

You nodded. "I'm okay. I was just scared. I'm not hurt."

"You shouldn't be scared at home," he replied.

"Come sit with me," you said softly, patting the spot next to you. Your heart ached to see how distressed he was over you. Taehyung lowered his head and came to sit near you, not quite in your nest, but just outside of it. When he got close you realized something the rest of them hadn't. They'd been too worried about you to assess their own well-being.

"Tae, you're covered in beer."

He had been standing closest to where the bottle had hit the wall and, as a result, had gotten sprayed with the contents as well as some glass.

"You're bleeding," you added. "Yoongi, your patient is right here."

Your alpha smiled weakly at how brave you were trying to be. He could tell by the way you were still shaking that you weren't as calm as you pretended to be, but he would talk to you about it in a little while when things settled. For now he turned to Taehyung. Without a word, he began to clean the man's wound, and you held his hand while he winced through the burn on the alcohol. You pulled a neon pink bandage from the box beside you and handed it to Yoongi to apply.

"Now we match," you told him, and it brought a bright, boxy smile to Taehyung's face.

"Why are you the one comforting me?" He asked, bumping your shoulder.

"Why don't you go clean up and get changed? Then maybe you can come cuddle me in the nest?" You offered. "If you want to," you added quickly.

Taehyung nodded enthusiastically. "Be right back," he said before scurrying out of the room.

"Yoongi, you need to go downstairs and see if everyone is okay down there," you told him.

He growled softly, mumbling, "They can take care of themselves."

"Alpha," you cooed, reaching out to touch his cheek, "don't be like that." He pouted for a moment, but nodded and gathered the pieces of trash from his work before he took the first aid kit downstairs.

"What about me?" Jimin stood proudly in front of you, fists in his hips, waiting for his instructions.

"You come cuddle me until the others come back." He didn't waste a second, shucking off his pants and shirt. You'd gotten used to the fact that Jimin preferred to sleep only in boxers. Who were you to force clothes on him if he slept better without? After your heat, it had ceased to make you the slightest bit uncomfortable. He quickly climbed onto the bed, wrestling you into the nest and underneath his body, where he could get the upper hand on you and make the last of our distressed scent disappear as quickly as it had come.

When Yoongi reached the bottom of the steps, Namjoon turned anxiously to look at him. He was cleaning the last of the beer off the wall, looking rather like a pup with his tail between his legs. This was hardly a rare scenario for him, cleaning up his own mess no matter how Hobi tried to tell him to leave it. It wasn't the first glass he'd broken nor the first drink spilled. Namjoon was a walking disaster. He knew that. It couldn't be helped, and everyone knew that, too. But normally, everyone would stick around to help and cheer him up and comfort him when he made a silly mistake like this. This time, half his pack had disappeared up the stairs with you, and he couldn't help feeling a bit hurt about it. He regretted it. He always did, but he couldn't take it back, and he just couldn't change. He opened his mouth to explain to Yoongi, but nothing came out.

"Is she hurt?" Hoseok asked from the sink, after Yoongi and Namjoon had stared at each other for several tense seconds. Yoongi's face was a cold mask of stone, revealing nothing but disdain. Namjoon looked utterly crestfallen.

"She's not hurt. Just scared," Yoongi answered, shaking his head when he finally broke eye contact with Joon.

"That's a relief," Namjoon sighed, and his face showed his relief was real.

"Taehyung got cut up a little bit," Yoongi said sharply. It was petty, but he didn't want the younger alpha to feel as if there was no harm done, and he didn't expect Namjoon to care that you'd been shaken up.

"Is it bad?" Jin asked, looking concerned.

Yoongi shook his head again. "I patched him up. Y/N invited him into her nest to make him feel better, I think." He paused for a second, thinking about your behavior. "She sent me down here to see if anyone was hurt."

"We're all fine, Yoongi. Come have a seat," Jungkook replied, pulling out the chair beside him.

"I should go back to her."

"Yoongi." Jin's voice wasn't raised, but it was loud and firm enough to have Yoongi freezing as he turned away. He hugged the first aid kit to his stomach and dropped his chin. "I'm sure Jimin and Tae are taking perfectly good care of her. Come sit for a minute."

Yoongi hated the way it felt like he was in trouble, when he knew he had no reason to be. He hadn't gone and ruined a perfectly nice evening, or spooked his very nervous omega. But he turned and walked slowly to the table to sit anyway.

"You know it was an accident," Jin said calmly.

"I know," Yoongi answered curtly.

"Just let him apologize." Jin's voice was the slightest bit pleading, as if he were desperate to avoid more conflict between his alphas.

"I really am sorry, Yoongi. I would never–"

"You don't need to apologize to me," Yoongi interjected. "I'm not angry. Maybe if she'd been hurt…but I know you can't control your body. You've never been able to. I get that. But she doesn't know. She's terrified you will hurt her, just by accident. And with you accidents are bound to happen."

"I–" Namjoon began, but the other alpha didn't let him finish.

"Do you know how it hurts me to see her afraid? After all the horrors in her life, I only want to keep her from feeling afraid. I don't just want her to be safe. I want her to feel safe. And if she can't then we…If she can't feel safe with you…" The look of pure devastation on Yoongi's features hurt Namjoon more than any other thing could have.

"What can I do, Yoongi? Tell me. I'll make it right," he begged.

Yoongi sighed, desperate to keep himself together. "If you and her are going to live in the same house…if you're going to spend the whole summer together, you have to try to be gentler. Please try."

Namjoon reached across the table to lay his hand over Yoongi's where he clutched the kit still.

"I will try. I promise. I'll be more careful," Namjoon assured him. Yoongi merely nodded silently, unsure if that would be enough to settle all your nerves about the pack's largest alpha. As if he could read Yoongi's mind, Jin cleared his throat.

"I think, maybe, Y/N might feel a little more comfortable with us if she could see that you're comfortable with us," he suggested quietly. Yoongi's eyes flickered to the pack alpha's and then back to his hands.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Jin sighed, "you're still holding us at arms length. I get maybe you still want to punish us for what we've done. I don't want to tell you how to feel or to get over it. But how could she ever trust us if she knows you don't?"

"She'll come to her own conclusions,"Yoongi mumbled.

"So you admit that you still don't trust us? You're still angry with me?" Jin sounded frustrated, but Yoongi could hear that really he was just heartbroken. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, knowing that his distance was hurting Jin. He wasn't really angry anymore. He hadn't found the time or energy to be angry. Any spare thought he had went directly to you. Maybe it was unfair, because he knew clearly in this moment that he still carried plenty of love in his heart for Jin and Namjoon.

"I'm not angry," he answered. "I just don't know what you want me to do. I've stayed. I've brought her here—sometimes against my better judgment—I don't know what I'm meant to do to fix things. They just have to heal in their own time." He shrugged.

"But how can they when this is the longest conversation we've had in weeks?"

"I don't know, Jin. It's just not my priority right now!" Yoongi snapped.

"Okay!" Hoseok interjected, coming closer to the men seated at the table for the first time. He'd been hesitant to interfere in the alphas' problems, but he knew both men well enough to see they were on the verge of saying things they didn't mean and would regret later. As soon as he approached, Jungkook's linen scent fluffed through the room, easing away the alphas' tension. "It's all okay. We don't have to solve it all tonight. It's late, and I think we should all just go to bed. Hm?" Hoseok put his hands on Jin's shoulders and gave a squeeze, satisfied when his shoulders relaxed.

"Yeah, fine," Yoongi answered. He stood quickly, scraping the box along the table before he picked it up and moved toward the stairs. He didn't want more conflict. He wasn't trying to prolong their distance. But it was impossible not to want to keep them away when he wanted so badly to be close to you, and to keep you safe.

Yoongi stopped in the bathroom, relieved to hear the giggles of you, Jimin and Taehyung coming through your door. After tucking the first aid kit back into its spot under the sink, he brushed his teeth. Hoseok met his eyes in the bathroom mirror when he stopped outside your door, but neither said a word before the omega slipped into your room to see for himself that you were unharmed. Yoongi remained quiet when he joined the four of you. Jimin had managed to get you into a pair of pajamas and your hair was an adorable disaster from being rolled around in your nest. You'd settled now between Jimin's legs with your back to his bare chest, your attention on Hoseok until Yoongi walked in, but you only spared him a glance. He wondered if even Jimin could tell how hard you were forcing your smile and your happy scent. Had he noticed that your eyes lacked the shine they usually got when the beta scented you silly?

"Come to bed so these kids can get to sleep," Hoseok said to Taehyung while Yoongi changed into his pajamas.

Taehyung whined softly. He'd only just been invited into your nest, and he wasn't ready to leave it already.

"Go on, Tae. Joon needs to know you're not upset with him," Yoongi encouraged quietly.

"Maybe I am," Taehyung mumbled. Hoseok reached for his hand and took it into his lap.

"You know he can't help himself, Tae. Give him a break, okay?"

The alpha grumbled wordlessly, but you nudged him with your foot.

"Go on, Tae Tae. I will be okay. My alpha is here." Taehyung's low rumble turned into a real growl, but you knew it was playful.

"Two alphas are better than one."

"Three are better than two!" Hoseok added. He stood from the edge of the bed and tugged on the youngest alpha's hand to come along. Tae allowed himself to be dragged off the bed, but pulled back to give you one kiss on the top of your head.

"See you tomorrow, sweet little. Sleep tight," he murmured, and then he was gone.

Closing the door, Yoongi turned off the lights before crawling into bed beside you.

"Goodnight," Jimin said, leaning over you to kiss Yoongi, making sure you got properly squished in the process.

"Goodnight," you whispered with a giggle when you received your own kiss.

You said nothing to Yoongi as the two of you cuddled together. Your head laid on his chest, listening to his slow, steady heartbeat as the house slowly went silent. You laid there, but didn't close your eyes, and Yoongi watched you without saying a word. You let the minutes stretch on until you'd been there for almost half an hour.

"How come you aren't sleeping?" you asked softly.

"You aren't sleeping either," he replied. You shifted slightly without moving away and traced his stomach with your fingertips.

"It's hard for me to sleep without your snoring." You felt his chest rise and fall with a huff and looked up to see his gummy smile for just a moment. Then he looked down at you seriously.

"You don't have to pretend for me. You don't have to pretend for anyone, but especially not me." You shifted again, but this time he could tell you were putting space between you.

"I don't know what you mean."

Yoongi grasped your wrist gently before you could move away from him. There wasn't far to go before you would run into Jimin, but he could only bare for you to move as far as it would take for you to look at him eye to eye. He rolled over and scooched down so his gaze was level to yours.

"You don't need to act as if Namjoon didn't scare you. You're still scared now. I don't think I can convince you that you're safe right now, but you are. I'm right here."

Your chest tightened at his words. You whispered, "I know," but it didn't stop your eyes from watering. Yoongi gathered you close, pressing you into his chest.

"I'm so angry."

"It was an–"

"I'm angry with myself. I shouldn't have brought you here." He felt you try to pull away, ready to argue, but he held you tight. "I should have taken you somewhere else. The three of us could have gotten an apartment. Shouldn't have kept you here with such clumsy, stupid alphas." At this point he sounded as though he was talking to himself, mumbling out the thoughts he'd been repeating in his head for the last hour.

"It's okay, Yoongi. I didn't get hurt," you tried to tell him.

"But you got scared, and that's just as bad in my eyes." You managed to pull away from him enough to look up at his face and touch his cheek. "You're still shaking. Do you think I can't feel that? Jimin and Tae scented you, but you didn't feel safe enough to let yourself get all dopey. Do you even realize? I can't stand this, and I hate that you're pretending just so we don't feel bad."

"Yoongi," you frowned and stroked your thumb over his cheekbone. "I'm not pretending because of that. I'm trying to be brave because I want to stay. Namjoon terrifies me, but I like it here. I like living with Hobi and Tae…and you and Jimin here. I'm still scared, but not enough to leave. So let me pretend, okay?" Yoongi sighed, a sign he wasn't accepting this yet. "I may not feel completely safe, but I feel happy. I'm like a stray dog. I may never feel safe, not completely. I might always be a little jumpy. But that doesn't mean I don't love my new home, or that it's not a good home."

Yoongi laughed almost silently and buried his head in your neck. "Don't call yourself a stray dog."

"That's what I am," you replied, combing your fingers through his hair. "I came up to you with big puppy eyes and asked you to stay."

"That's definitely not how it happened," he mumbled. But when he pulled you closer and inhaled your scent, you couldn't help smiling.

"I won't let anything happen to you," he breathed as he relaxed against the nest at last.

"I know," you replied. "So I think we can sleep now."

"Go ahead. I'll watch over you."

Your last shift ended fairly well. The library staff even brought donuts to wish you well. A couple of them who were betas even confessed that they were glad to hear you had settled in with a pack and would be staying home, because they often worried about you. You waited outside the library at your usual spot, pacing and checking your phone as minutes ticked by and terrible thoughts began to creep in.

What if they got into some kind of accident?

What if they dont want you, after all?

Just as you began to spiral into your worst thoughts, a familiar vehicle pulled up abruptly in front of you. Although you'd never ridden inside of it, you could still recognize Namjoon's blue volvo without looking at him, which you only did for the briefest of glances, just to be sure it was really him.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," he said, sounding out of breath as if he'd run instead of driven here.

I wasn't waiting for you, is what you wanted to say, but you merely stood still and stared at him with eyes as wide as saucers.

"Um," he began awkwardly as he got out of the car without killing the engine and walked toward you until he was only a couple yards away. He scratched nervously behind his ear as he tried to start again. "I know you were expecting Taehyung, but he cut his foot on a piece of glass that wasn't cleaned up from last night, and Hobi took him to the emergency room about twenty minutes ago. Didn't they text you?"

You shook your head, remaining silent.

"Yeah…so I was the only other person home so…here I am." He looked anxiously at the car, like he wished you'd just get in and save him the embarrassment of standing here in front of you. "I promise, I'm a good driver. And we don't have to talk or anything, if you don't want to."

You stared at him for a moment longer before your tongue unglued itself from the roof of your mouth.

"Does Yoongi know about this?"

Namjoons throat felt like sandpaper, and he seemed to shrink an inch. He shook his head. "I tried to call him but he didn't answer. He must be busy."

You hadn't moved an inch since he arrived, and he couldn't help wondering if he was really that terrifying.

"I promise, Y/N, I'm not going to hurt you." The idea that you ever thought he would hurt him in a way he couldn't account for. He knew he wouldn't, but the idea that you couldn't believe that cut him deep. What would he do if you never learned to trust him? If you never let him close to you? It wasn't something he ever gave himself permission to want, so why did not having it wound him so? He shook his head clear of the questions. "You can sit in the back and pretend I'm just the chauffeur."

You lifted your chin in his direction and narrowed your eyes. "I think I'll just take the bus."

Namjoons eyebrows raised. You can't possibly think he's that scary, could you? But instead he used what he knew was the only way to convince you.

"Do you really think Yoongi would approve of that?"

Your jaw tightened. You knew he was right. Looking down at your phone, you hoped for a notification from Yoongi, but there was one from Hoseok instead. You swallowed thickly when you read it.

Sorry, pup! There was an emergency. Namjoon should be there to pick you up. I promise it will be okay.

"How do you know you'll take me home and not somewhere else?" You finally asked. Namjoon's eyes grew wide and he actually took a step back. He rubbed his hand over his hair as he tried to process your question.

"What makes you think I would do something like that? What did Yoongi say to you?" Your brow furrowed at the strange question.

"Yoongi didn't have to say anything for me to know you don't want me around," you answered, an edge of bitterness lacing your words. Namjoon nearly choked.

"Y/n, that isn't true."

"If it isn't then why didn't you ever tell yoongi where I was when you knew I worked here? You and Jin didn't want him to know. You don't want me in your pack. I get it. It's fine. But you should know that Yoongi does want me, and if I don't come home there's no telling what he'll do." You were surprised by the firmness of your own voice as well as how sure you felt of your own words. Yoongi did want you, and you knew that was as fierce an attachment for him as it was for you.

Namjoon took several full breaths before he responded. "Y/N, I promise you, all I'm trying to do right now is take you home. I won't lie to you. I didn't want you to become a part of our pack at first but things have…changed. You're a part of our lives now either way. And I wouldn't risk losing Yoongi over you. I never would. So please. Just come home with me," he begged. While the two of you maintained eye contact—for longer than you had ever done before—he fought the instinct to grab you and put you in the car if you continued to protest, but he knew that would only hurt his cause. Just when he was about to lose this staring contest to you, your phone began to ring with Yoongi's ringtone.

"Hello?" You answered, only dropping your gaze from the alpha in front of you for a moment.

"Princess, are you okay?" He asked, sounding out of breath from the way his heart was pounding.

"I think so," you mumbled.

"I got a message from Joon that he was going to pick you up." You narrowed your eyes on the man in question.

"Yeah, he's here." Yoongi sighed in relief. "What should I do? I can take the bus."

"No, princess. Just go home with him, okay? I promise everything will be fine."

"I'm scared," you said so softly that Namjoon couldn't hear it.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but you don't need to be. You'll be safe with him, and I'll feel better if you go with him than on your own. I've got your location on. If anything happens to you I'll be there as soon as possible. But you're going to be okay. Trust me?" It was that simple, really. If Yoongi was asking you to trust him, then you would. As long as Yoongi promised you'd be safe, you'd make yourself believe him. He wouldn't let you down.

"Fine."

"Good girl. I'll be home in a few hours and I'll give you a reward for being so brave." Your cheeks heated at his words, but you couldn't deny loving it when Yoongi sometimes treated you like a child. No one had ever treated you with such gentle care before, and it felt like real love.

"I'll be waiting." You hung up and looked at Namjoon again. He looked back expectantly. "Yoongi said to go home with you. So I guess that's that."

You walked around the vehicle to sit in the back passenger seat, as far from him as possible. Namjoon didn't say a word as you got inside his car and buckled yourself in. As he pulled away from the library, you kept your eyes out the window even though you could feel his gaze on you through the rear view mirror. He chewed nervously on his lip as he glanced back and forth between the road and the mirror, but he kept silent until he was on the main road between the library and the house.

"We should try to be civil, at least," he said at last, speaking as if you'd been privy to the conversation in his head instead of coming into the middle. You didn't respond, so he went on. "We're going to be home together a lot this summer, and it would be easier on everyone if we tried to ease the tension." He finished softly, perhaps knowing he sounded ridiculous to you.

"I'll do my best to keep out from under foot, if you try not to throw anything at me again."

Namjoon deflated with a sigh. "I swear it was an accident."

"That's why I said try."

"I'm just clumsy. I never meant to hurt you."

"Do you honestly think I haven't heard every excuse in the book?" You rolled your eyes. "It just slipped. You ran into my fist. You really should be more careful where you're going."

"Y/N," Namjoon interrupted, trying hard not to become distressed as he drove, but honestly, your words were tearing him apart. Did you really have no idea the effect you had on him? "I'm sorry. I realize I haven't apologized to you directly for last night. I'm sorry for being so careless. I really will try to be more cautious. But I'm also sorry that other people have given you reasons not to trust them, or alphas, or me." He pulled to a stop at a red light and turned in his seat to look at you. "I get that you have no reason to trust me, and that I have to work for it. That's okay. I don't mind. But can you give me the benefit of the doubt and trust that Yoongi wouldn't have me in his life at all if you couldn't trust me?"

At last, you turned your head to look at him. "Why does everyone always pull the Yoongi card on me?"

"Because it always works," he smirked.

"Fuck," you muttered, because he was right. For whatever reason, you trusted Yoongi implicitly. And Namjoon had a point. Your alpha wouldn't have a dangerous person in his life, let alone trust them to be around you. So you merely nodded to his request, and the man turned forward just in time to see the light turn green before he drove you the rest of the way home.

A/n: I don't feel like this has been my best chapter, but I would love to hear your thoughts on it! Thanks for reading!

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#This was a lovely and necessary chapter authornim don’t worry #ah poor Joonie #I understand where mc is coming from but I really feel for Joonie

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