mentally-gone002

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 10

(Moodboard made by me)

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10

Summary: you take the case, despite how close to home it is. Nothing makes sense but Spencer is there to make you feel better about not knowing. 

Warnings: descriptions of victims, drugs, 

A/n: I fucking love plot devices lmao! Enjoy yall!!!!

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I insisted to stay on the case, despite how hard Hotch tried to keep me away from it. I persisted to stay and now I was seated in the passenger seat of the black work issued van while Morgan drove to the police station. Spencer sat in the back seat reading over the case. I stare out the window and watch the buildings pass by. 

“Are you okay?” Morgan asks, pulling into the station. He puts the car into park and turns the engine off. I hear Spencer lean forward to hear me. His eyes on me make the hair on my nape stand up. 

I nod and smile at the men. “I’m okay, really. I promise.” My head bobs up and down for a long time. “If I wasn’t okay I wouldn’t be here.” 

Spencer gives me a tight lipped smile that I catch from the corner of my eye. “We’re here for you if you need us.” He tells me and I nod. 

“Thank you.” I smile between them both and reach for the door handle. “Now let’s go. We’ve gotta catch this son of a bitch.” I quickly exit the car, slamming the door behind me. 

Morgan and Spencer share a glance. 

“She’s not okay, is she?” Morgan asks. 

Spencer follows me with his eyes and shakes his head. “No… but she will be.” He sends Morgan an assuring smile and also exits the vehicle to meet me at the door where I wait for him. 

“What were you guys talking about?” I look up at him as we stand toe to toe. I hear Morgan close his car door and lock the van. 

Spence stares down at me and shakes his head. “We’re worried about you.” He tells me gently. He searches my face for something that he doesn’t seem to find easily. 

“I’m okay, Spence.” My hand finds his forearm and gives a gentle squeeze. I smile at him and go for the door handle and pull it open, walking into the police station with my coworkers behind me. 

A man looks our way and approaches me with urgency. “Are you the FBI team?” He asks. 

I nod and stick a hand out for his to shake. “Yes sir, I’m special agent l/n, this is agent Morgan and doctor Reid. Were from the behavioral analysis unit.” I introduce the two behind me. 

“I’m Chief Banks.” Banks shakes my hand firmly and then shakes Morgan’s hand and is turned down my Spencer. Banks furrows his brows. “Aren’t you a little young to be a doctor?” He asks. 

I watch as Spencer shrugs and slides his hands into his pockets. All I want to do is hold his hands but I can’t. He replies to Banks and I only stare. 

“Well, I have you all set up in our conference room.” Banks says to us as he leads us across the station. I can feel the other officers in the space give us strange looks but that’s nothing new so I only ignore and walk after the chief. “We have all the files of intel inside those boxes, if you need anything let us know.” And with that he leaves the three of us inside the room with case file boxes, an empty evidence board and enough chairs for the whole team when they eventually join us. 

I run a hand through my hair and sigh. “Okay, let’s get started shall we?” I ask with a brief clap of my hands before I dive into a box of files. 

“Do you want us to take the files for James?” Morgan follows my actions and begins to find pictures of the victims, which he hands to Spencer. He takes them and sticks them to the evidence board. 

I shake my head while looking up at the picture of James’s dead face in the board. “No… no it’s okay. I can handle it.” I smile curtly. 

Spencer gives Morgan a nod to let me do my thing before he also reads more into the case and writes things on the board. He goes through more case files alone than me and Morgan in ten minutes. 

I sigh and rub my eyes. “It looks like all of the victims were alive while they were being… harvested.” I move my hand as I talk and continue reading. “All are male… found outside of locations such as bars, strip clubs, and places frequented by prostitutes.” I keep reading. “All had… Spence, how to you pronounce this?” I tap the paper as Spencer comes to lean over my shoulder, so close that if I turned my head the tip of my nose would touch his neck. I smell his cologne and shiver. 

Spencer hums. “Suxamethonium. It’s a paralytic.” He tells me with a quick once over of my face. He smiles, then goes back to his evidence board. 

I nod and catch Morgan’s eyes. “Okay… well all of the victims had��that injected into their system, then, our unsub cuts them open and takes their insides?” I drop my hand onto the table. “It doesn’t make sense.” My brows furrow together. “I feel like we’re missing something.” 

“It could be too early to tell what is going on.” Morgan says. 

I give him a look. “We can’t just wait for another body to show up, even though it’s all very frequent.” I shrug. “Where is someone getting that drug though?” 

Both men shrug and I blow a breath from my mouth. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Spencer opted to room with me for this case, which I didn’t know how much I needed him at the end of the day. 

Once our hotel door was closed I fell into him, overwhelmed by how close to home this all was. I didn’t cry but I still held onto him. 

“This case isn’t going to be easy.” I shook my head. “I know it.” 

Spencer runs a hand over my hair and hums. “I feel the same way. Nothing makes sense.” 

“I know. The drugs, the locations, the type.” I go off on a tangent. “All men are from different backgrounds and they have different lives. They’re all healthy though, none have a history of addiction, which means the unsub needs healthy lungs and hearts and… other things.” I sigh and rub my temples. “The locations are making them look bad, as if they were animals, maybe. Just a hunch. The unsub must befriend their victims at the locations and then drug them when they’re out of sight and then they take their insides.” 

Spencer leads me to the hotel bed in the middle of the room. He sits me down and rubs my back. “Slow down.” He tells me gently. “It’s all going to be there tomorrow.” 

I look at him with wide eyes. “How could this have happened to him? James I mean.” I shake my head and run my hands through my hair. It’s all so hard to believe. This can’t be real. I blink my eyes closed and exhale all my air. “He does fit the victim profile though. Healthy.” I sigh again and put my head in my hands. “His mom is coming in tomorrow… god, I can’t be there when she’s being interviewed.” 

“We’re going to the crime scenes tomorrow. Hotch assigned us and JJ.” He wraps his arm around my middle and rubs my side, touching my ribs as he does. “Look at me.” He says and I listen. Our eyes meet and he moves closer. “I won’t let this case get to you. I’m here.” One of his hands finds the side of my face where his thumb rubs back and forth beneath my eye. 

I smile at him and nod. “Thank you.” My arms wrap around his shoulders and I pull him into me so that our chests push together. I can faintly feel his heartbeat and I smile while burying my face in his neck. He’s so warm and I never want to move again. “I… I love you, Spence.” 

His arms wrap around me in reciprocation. “I love you.” He whispers into my hair as he sways us both from side to side. “We should sleep.” He whispers and I nod into him with my eyes closed. 

When my arms unwind from around him I stand and rub my eyes before finding my bag and grabbing my clothes. He follows my actions to do the same. As I take off my shoes and socks I look at him. “One time we roomed together on a case and you didn’t sleep.” I tell him. “The light was on all night for a week and after I’d went home I couldn’t sleep in the dark.” He smiled at me and removed the sweater that covered a dark blue shirt beneath. I slowly strip off my pants while keeping my eyes on him. The fabric pools around my ankles. 

Spencer approaches and takes my hands in his. He leads me to step out of my clothes while rubbing smooth lines over the backs of my hands. “That was the case in Georgia. With the woman who killed all those strippers.” 

I nodded, never imagining that him talking about a murderer we put away for life would be so attractive. 

My heels rise off the ground as I stand on my toes to get closer to his face. Our noses brush and his hands find my waist, holding me tight as if I might evaporate. I smile at him and bump his nose with mine. My lips can feel his as they are only an atom away. I can feel the heath of his breath on my face and it makes me feel light. 

“Can i…?” He asks, lips brushing mine and I nod, a bit too quickly. And when he closes the distance I feel at peace for the first time since this morning when we had our morning coffee together in his kitchen. It felt like that was days ago after the day I’ve had. 

His mouth tastes like coffee and I relish in it when I get the chance to lick at his tongue and lips. He lets me in easily with his arms around my back so that my entire front is pressed against his. My hands find his messy hair, I hold onto it tight to make him hum. 

A knock sounds at our door and we stop, pulling away abruptly. I smile at him and we let each other go. 

More knocks echo into the room and Spencer walks across the carpeted floor to the door. He opens it and speaks to the person on the other side as I put on pants. 

“Who is it, Spence?” I come up behind him and peek around his lanky form to see James’s mother. Her brows are drawn together and she is frazzled, shrunken in grief and anger. 

She points a finger at me. “We need to talk.” 

[mentally-gone002]

no literally it’s such a fucking problem I can’t believe I’m still functioning atp

she’s a 10 but she’s stressed everyday about everything

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 9

Summary: a good day begins with Spencer but it very quickly becomes turned around after another case has been assigned. 

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9

Warnings: descriptions of victims body, vomiting

A/n: hey yall… I don’t rlly have anything to say in this one other than ENJOYYYYY

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Bright sunlight blinds me through my closed eyes when I roll over in bed and I hear my dryer go off. I don’t remember starting it. Slowly, my eyes open, and I’m met with the sight of curtains that I don’t own. I sit up and look around with panicked breaths. “What the…” I trail off before recalling the night before. I smile in embarrassment and rub my eyes with my hands. 

The front door to Spencer’s apartment opens and then a few seconds later it closes loudly. I listen as there’s a paper rustle, a bag opening, water running and then being poured and a few more sounds I can’t determine and then a few buttons being pushed. I reach a blind hand for Spencer but he’s not there. I stare at his unoccupied space with a sigh and swing my feet over the edge of his bed to get up. I walk to the door quietly and open it wider so that I can see into the bright living area of his apartment. 

There I see him standing by the coffee pot that brews away with a book in his hands. He reads fast, and it never ceases to amaze me. I step out of his room and walk to him. “Good morning.” I say quietly. 

“Good morning.” He doesn’t look up at me until after he’s finished the book, which takes only a few seconds since he was on the second to last page. He places it down on the counter. “How did you sleep.” He eyes my bare legs, which I didn’t particularly care to cover before I left the safety of his room.

I smile at his messy hair. “Good. So good in fact that I need the brand of your mattress.” I crack a smile and look around his kitchen. I see two coffee cups on the counter beside the coffee machine. “How did you sleep?” 

“Good. Better than I usually do, which was… strange, but I was tired.” His eyes bore into mine as he rambles. He smiles and it makes butterflies erupt in my stomach.

I approach him and we stand toe to toe as I’m staring up at his face. I note how the bags under his eyes have disappeared, mostly. I reach a hand to brush the hair that fell towards his eyes away. “Did you go somewhere this morning?” 

He looks at the front door apologetically. “Did the door wake you?” He asks with guilt.

I shake my head with a smile. “No. But I got freaked out when I heard it. I thought you were still beside me.” My fingers trace his jaw slowly. “Where did you go?” I whisper. 

He shivers and keeps his eyes on me. “To get coffee. I ran out while trying to make us some.” His words are so gentle. He speaks as if he’s afraid one day he’ll break me. 

I nod at him. “You’re sweet.” I stand on my toes to quickly press my lips to his jaw. The coffee maker beeps, signaling that it’s finished and I pull away from him. He looks at me and I want to kiss him, for real, but then he turns slowly to pour us coffee. 

He places a mug down on the counter and I stand in front of it. “That one is for you.” He hums with a lingering glance down at me. He darts his tongue between his lips before he quickly leans down to kiss me. “Sugar is there,” he points to a small container labeled ‘sugar’, “and the creamer is in the fridge.” 

I lean against him for a moment, relishing in the feeling of it all. Then I walk the kitchen for creamer and sugar that I place in front of us both. 

Spencer reaches for the sugar and drops four full spoons of it into his mug and doesn’t touch the creamer. I giggle as he stirs his cup. “What?” His eyes meet mine. 

I shake my head and make my coffee the way I like it. “How you drink that everyday will never not surprise me.” I tell him before taking a sip of coffee. I watch as he does the same and makes a contempt expression. 

“It’s good!” He tells me. I stare at his cup and nod slowly. “Try it.” He pushes his mug towards me, but I stop it with my own hand. 

I shake my head as I sip more of my own. “It’s too early for cavities, Spence.” 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Spencer drives us both to the office after we drank our coffees and I put on my fresh clothes from his dryer, which I thanked him excessively for. Before we both get out of his car I give his a chaste kiss, which he gladly reciprocates. 

Upon exiting the elevators and walking through the glass doors, which Spencer held open for me, into the bullpen area, Morgan’s eyes were on us. He smiled at us and swiveled in his chair. 

Spence whispered that he’s going to make more coffee, hand on my shoulder before leaving my side. 

I sit at my desk that is adjacent to Morgan’s. “What?” I ask him, looking over the papers I have yet to complete. 

The man chuckles and wheels his chair over to me. “Did you and pretty boy carpool?” 

I look up at his with only my eyes. “No, we just got here at the same time.” I look away, hoping he can’t see right through my lie. 

Morgan hums to himself, looking off somewhere different. “What was that, when he opened the door for you and touched your shoulder?” 

I sigh and look up at him, frowning. “He was just being nice.” My words are an octave higher than I intended and the man cracks a smile. “Whatever your thinking is going on, it’s not.” I shut him down the best I can just as a mug is placed down on a clean part of my desk. I turn in my chair to watch Spencer walk away. 

“Well now it’s very hard to not think what I have been for the last few weeks.” He laughs. “How long?” 

“‘How long’ what?” I ask him without looking up again. My pen glides over the blank spaces of my papers. 

Morgan rolls his eyes and sits back further in his chair. “How long have you and pretty boy been… you know?” He smiles cheekily and I sigh. 

“We aren’t together, if that’s what you mean.” I reach for my coffee and take a sip, being immediately hit by a wall of sweetness. I swallow with a look of disgust and spin around in my chair to face Spencer’s desk where he works quickly. “Why the hell would you do that?” I ask him over the distance between us. I can see him smirk before he even looks at me with his puppy eyes. 

“Do what?” He asks. 

I stand up and march to his desk, hearing Morgan laugh behind me. I place the mug on his desk and look at him. “You poisoned me.” I whispered in betrayal. He smiles apologetically and grabs the other cup he had made to hand it to me. 

His smile says it all. “I may have switched the two.” He tells me. 

I nod. “I figured.” We both laugh lightly as I smack his shoulder. “Thank you, but never do that again.” I take my cup of coffee and walk away, back to my desk. I sip my coffee and hum. 

The man at my desk only smiles at me. “There’s definitely something there.” 

I shake my head. “No, there’s not.” I tell him. “James and I are still together.” I lie. No one, except for Spencer and my mom, knows about me and James being over, so hopefully he takes that. 

“Poor James then, because I still see somewhere between you and pretty boy.” And with that, Morgan goes back to his desk. 

I turn around to look at Spencer, and he’s already looking. His face looks hurt, and I frown, mouthing to him that I’m sorry. He smiles and nods, going back to his work while I keep staring at his brown hair. 

My phone rings abruptly and I take the call. “Hello?” I ask, not knowing who it is because of not reading the name. 

Silence and then someone speaks. “This is Amber McGillen, from the Washington DC coroner’s office. I was just giving you a call to see if this is the correct number on James Quinn’s emergency contacts. Are you his girlfriend…” she says my name but i my ears are ringing so I barely hear her. 

I nod before speaking. “This is she. Is everything alright? Where is James? What’s going on?” all of my thoughts tumble out of my mouth in a matter of seconds and I feel bad for Amber in the other end. 

The woman sighs. “I’m afraid not, ma’am. James Quinn is dead.” 

I cover my mouth, stifling my gasp as tears well in my eyes. I’m not exactly sure why I’m crying for him, he’s an asshole, but I still spent a long time with him. “I… do you want me to come down there?” I ask. 

“You can take your time with this, ma’am. We’ve called his mother as well, and she will be here tomorrow.” 

“Okay… I’ll come in tomorrow. Bye.” I hang up and run my hands through my hair. 

He’s dead? How? What happened? 

“Hey guys,” Garcia’s voice breaks through my thoughts as she stands beside the door to the briefing room. “We have a case.” She smiles softly and then walks back into the room where Hotch is already sitting. I run my hands down my hair, smoothing it out and stand slowly. 

“What’s wrong?” Spencer comes up behind me. He knows something is wrong and I hate to lie to him. 

I look up at him and shake my head. “Nothing, just a weird prank phone call.” I brush it off and begin walking behind my team to the round table. Spencer sits beside me and brushes his hand over mine. I give him a tight lipped smile. 

“Okay, my lovely’s,” Garcia starts speaking. “We got a call from the DC police this morning, telling us that they have bodies pulling up in the morgue and they don’t know why they are coming in so fast.” 

Morgan speaks up. “A spree? In DC?” 

Garcia nods and presses a button on the iPad in her hands. “Their most recent body was…” she pauses and glances at me, making my stomach drop before an image of my dead ex boyfriend appears on the screen. “James Quinn, a 29 year old male was found in an alley beside a strip club and his… insides have been removed along with his lungs and heart. His ribs are intact but the…” she stops talking and I start shaking. 

The image of him is the worst thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. Everything Garcia has said to have been done to him is obvious, but she didnt get to the part where the skin from his torso was cut open like a jacket. 

I look away at Spencer and his eyes are wide, glued to the screen. I feel my stomach heave and I stand. “Excuse me for a second.” I choke before quickly walking to the nearest trash can to vomit. I feel tears run down my face and I sob.

Who could have done this? 

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 8

(Moodboard made by me)

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8

Summary: Spencer drives you to his apartment after a late running session of paperwork after a case. 

Warnings: none! 

A/N: hey so… I re-read this series and got super impressed by myself and decided to write another part!! So… all my little reidlings, I hope you like a next chapter of this!!! ALSO important note!!! I changed up some of chapter 2 so I would just re-read the entire thing lol 

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Yet another case passed smoothly, which to me was a blessing. I love my job but when it interrupts a good Saturday afternoon with the lovely Spencer Reid, I don’t enjoy it as much. 

But we had to. We all did. 

I walked to my car through an early morning fog after leaving the office, dragging my feet a little as I did. The only energy I contained was to complete about three and a half files for the previous case before I nearly face planted into the messily strewn papers on my desk. And Spencer so kindly caught that moment in full view and told me to go home. 

As I reached for my car door a voice made me jump. 

“I don’t think you should drive.” Spence jogged towards me with a sorry smile. The bruises beneath his eyes that must be permanent are more prominent from his lack of sleep. “Forget what I said about going home.” He laughed lightly. 

I blinked and my eyes burned. “You expect me to sleep on that couch made of plywood and styrofoam in the briefing room?” I attempted to laugh but i was instead sent into an immediate yawn. “I thought you liked me.” I joke.

Spencer shakes his head and gently takes the keys from my hand while also interlocking our hands to begin the short walk across the lot. “I do like you, and no, I mean I will drive you to my place, and you will sleep there for the night.” He explains it slowly and in a gentle voice that makes me smile, but it quickly vanishes.

“What about my clothes?” I asked. 

“You’re holding your go bag.” He re-informs me with a laugh. “I’ll throw your clothes into the washer and you can wear mine tonight.” 

I nod along with what he says as we reach his car. Spencer gently guides me into the passenger seat where he leans over me to strap me in. I hum at his scent and kindness before settling into the worn cushions of the seat with a yawn. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The drive only takes twenty minutes but the sound of the road without any music to block it out causes me to drift. I only close my eyes halfway though, so that I can have a full view of his hands that grip the wheel loosely. 

Spencer attempts to carry me up to his apartment but I don’t allow him, waving his away with my hand and a big scrunch of my face so that the exhaustion goes away for the time it will take to climb the stairs. 

“I can walk, Spence.” I tell him with a yawn mixed in. I slowly stand from his car with my go bag in hand and walk to his building with him at my heels. 

He opens the door for me and guides me up the stairs with a hand on my back that makes my stomach flutter all the way until we reach his door. He takes his hand away and unlocks his apartment to let me in. 

“Thank you, for not allowing me to die en route to my place.” I drop my things on his floor while he turns on a lamp. 

Spencer shoots me a smile over his shoulder as he walks towards his bedroom. “Well I can’t have my favorite person dying.” 

“I thought your favorite person is your mom.” I told him with my voice raised so that he can hear me. His laugh echoes from his room and I follow the sweet sound back to watch him dig through a dresser. 

“What do you wear when you sleep?” Spencer suddenly asks, breaking the silence. 

“It’s a bit too late for ice breakers.” I giggle, crossing my arms. He shoots me a look and I answer. “Just my underwear and a shirt, or sometimes naked.” I shrug my shoulders with my casual answer, leaving Spencer to gawk and swallow a knot in his throat. 

He does more digging through a drawer and then pulls a dark green tee shirt from it. The drawer closes with a small thump. “Here, you can wear this tonight.” He tells me quietly. “I’m going to put your clothes in the washer. You can change in here.” As he leaves the room he slides his hand down my arm slowly. 

I smile and thank him, watching him as he walks from the room. Once he’s out of my sight, and I hope I’m out of his, I unbutton my shirt and peel off my pants, stepping out of them tiredly. I stand in his room in only my underwear and bra and I quickly take the top garment off before pulling his shirt over my head. It’s big on me but I like it. 

“Do you- wow.” Spencer pauses in the door to stare at me and I smile. He shakes his head to focus. “Can I wash those clothes for you too?” He asks and points to the ones on the floor and I nod, handing them to him while keeping my bra out of his view. 

“Thank you!” I call, to which I received a hum in response. 

My mind slows down and I yawn once again. His bed is a few feet from me and it looks fluffy with a thick comforter and pillows lining the headboard. I couldn’t help it, my eyelids drooped and I was immediately crawling from the foot to the head of his bed, opting to burry myself beneath the covers on the side that seems to be unoccupied. The heavy bedding envelopes me and I hum, relaxing my body into the mattress. 

Spencer walks back into the room and looks around, finding me in his bed after a few moments. He smiles. “I didn’t see you at first.” His admission brings me to giggle with my eyes still closed. I hear him remove his clothes somewhere behind a door. “I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight.” 

My eyes open to see him standing across the bed on his side and I frown. “But this is your bed.” He’s wearing plaid pants and a long sleeve shirt. 

Spencer nods slowly. “It is, and you can sleep in it.” 

“No, you do t have to take the couch.” I close my eyes with a yawn. “Sleep here.” I mumble. 

He takes a long look at his leather couch before ultimately climbing into his warm bed. His body weighs the mattress down and I can feel it tilt me towards him. 

“Thank you.” I whisper. 

He whispers back, “no need to thank me,” before a comfortable silence falls over the dark room. 

[mentally-gone002]

A declaration to my little Tumblr village!!

My requests are open!!! If you have any fic suggestions (mostly abt Eddie or Steve) send them in and I’ll do my best to deliver the goods!!! Also I love you guys sm thank you for the support on everything I post!!! Oki bye bye!!!

[mentally-gone002]

Now That You’re Here (Part 2)

part 1 here

Summary: you’re making Eddie crazy, even though he’s only seen you once. He can’t think, unless it’s about you, so he is reluctant to talk to you later over the phone. 

Warnings: none! Just one use of y/n (which I told myself I wouldn’t do but oh well😭)

A/n: yall asked and how you shall receive!!! I wrote this in a hour lmao and I’ve been awake for an hour and a half! 

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It’s Friday, and time is dragging on. Eddie can’t think, hell, he can’t even get words out of his mouth to be a nuisance in his classes like usual. He barely spoke at lunch.

He wonders if this is what it’s like to be head over heels. 

But she’s been back for one day! How can I already be acting like this? He wonders to himself as he doodles endless things across his notebook paper. She’s all over his mind, and he knows that isn’t normal after seeing someone for the first time after eight years. Or is it? 

The bell rings and every book that lies open in the class slaps shut simultaneously and Eddie stands to rush out of the classroom door after messily dropping his things into his bag. 

One last class, or he could skip. He thought about it while he dodged people in the halls. He hears someone call for him and swivels his head around. It’s Dustin who very skillfully cuts across the hallway. 

“Why are you rushing to class? You never do that.” The curly haired freshman observes. 

Eddie shrugs his shoulders. “I’m trying to graduate, man.” He plays it off and looks away. He thinks he sees her down the hallway but blinks hard to make the sight of her disappear. 

Dustin hums and studies his friend’s expression. He looks lost in his head. “I’ve never seen you this quiet. Is everything for the campaign next Friday working out?” 

“Yeah, everything’s going good, I just have to work a few things out.” Eddie nods. “I just have someo- something on my mind.” He trips over his words while speaking and Dustin nods. Eddie finds a clock on the hallway walls and pulls a frown. “We’ve gotta get to class. I’ll see you later.” He ends the conversation with that and jogs down the hallway to his classroom, making it through the door just before the bell rings. 

“Mr. Munson,” Mrs. Clicks voice rings out across the silencing classroom. Everyone wants to know what the freak did, and so does Eddie. He stops in his tracks at the front of the room and faces the short woman. He swallows as she stares at him. “Thank you for joining us, on time.” She gives him a kind smile, the first one all year and gestures for him to take his seat. 

Eddie sighs and sits down, not opting to speak to Keith who is seated to his right. 

“Eddie,” Keith chooses to speak to him. He repeats his name intermittently as Mrs. Click begins to speak. 

Eddie rolls his eyes and looks at Keith. He shakes his head and then looks back at the front, blindly reaching for his notebook and pencil from his bag. 

He’ll doodle his way through history. He wasn’t be able to focus without endlessly drawing. But she’s in his head and it’s hard for Eddie to not think about her. Wonder how she is. Is she okay? Is she working? Will she pick up the phone if he calls tonight? 

————————————————————————

Eddie takes the long way home, and bu that he means he goes out of his way to pass her work. He doesn’t stop inside, but maybe he should. He only speeds past the blue building with a too long glance at it. 

He adjusts the vans course once seeing how far into the other lane he has gotten. He bites the inside of his cheek and continues down the road until he reaches his humble abode. 

Wayne is home, probably asleep on the couch. Eddie turns the radio down before taking his keys from the ignition, listening as the van rumbles into silence. He frowns. He really needs to get it fixed. 

He walks into the trailer and looks around, seeing Wayne passed out on the couch just as he suspected. Eddie makes a note to wake him in an hour so that he won’t miss work. 

He walks into his room where he closes the door behind himself and flops into his messy bed. Half of the covers are lying on the floor. But he doesn’t think about that. He doesn’t think about the evident smell of weed all over his everything. He doesn’t think about how he has to work on the D&D campaign for next week. He doesn’t think about anything. Except for her. 

She’s in there, running around his mind and trying to decipher his thoughts and memories as if he’s a museum and she’s the only one aloud to be in there. It’s vacant except for her. 

He screws his eyes shut and sits up. His elbows land on his knees and the heels of his hands press into his eye sockets. “What is happening to me?” He asks aloud. 

Then the piercing sound of the phone ringing startles him from his thinking. All of the phones are connected and he rushes to the one beside his bed, taking it from the receiver and holding it to his ear. He hopes it didn’t wake Wayne. 

“H- hello?” Eddie rubs his eyes. There’s a pause on the other line and he can hear breathing. 

“Hi, Eddie.” Her voice comes from the other end, clear and just how he remembers it. “Wayne gave me your number too. Sorry, I should’ve told you that yesterday.” She lets out an embarrassed chuckle and then quietly curses herself. 

Eddie shakes his head. “No, it’s okay.” He finds himself smiling as he stretches the phone cord over to his bed where he sits again. “I was just about to call you.” He says this to make her feel better, but he really was thinking of calling her. 

“Oh, were you?” She asks. He just knows she’s smiling on the other end, not too far from where he is now. He suspects she is home, because if she was calling from the diner he’s sure he would hear noise from the people inside. 

Eddie swallows thickly before answering. “Yeah… I was.” Why can’t he talk? “How are you?” 

“I’m good, I’m good.” You repeat twice. “How was school?” 

He sighs. “Boring.” He hears her laugh and smiles himself. “Are you not working today? I thought you’d be busy at this time.” 

“Oh, no. Jimmy gives me Fridays and weekends off. His finance comes in on those days to help him.” She moves on the other end and sighs. 

Eddie finds himself hanging on her every word and shakes his head and clears his throat. “Do you want to go out tonight?” That sounds like I’m asking her out. “I mean… I can’t put it any other way.” He closes his eyes and chuckles in embarrassment to himself as he listens to her own laughter. 

“Yes, I would like that, Eddie.” Her voice comes out all smiley, and he might have stopped breathing when she said his name. “Should we meet each other somewhere?” 

“I can pick you up.” Eddie rushes his words out, and it sounds like a jumble to him but she hears him. 

She giggles on the other end. “I’m three trailers down on the right, Ed’s.” 

“Okay. I’ll be there.” He nods. “Bye.” 

“Bye bye.” She hangs up and Eddie keeps the phone against his ear even as the dial tone echoes in his head. 

It takes a moment to gather his thoughts but soon he is slamming the phone down on the receiver where it belongs and rushing for his keys. 

When he spies his uncle still asleep Eddie digs through a few drawers to find a wind up timer and writes something on a paper towel. He leaves the timer and his note on the counter before he heads out the front door in a rush. 

I’m out with y/n! Have a good shift tonight! - Eddie 

Is what is written in his messy handwriting. 

[mentally-gone002]

Now That You’re Here

Summary: Eddie and you were childhood friends, but when you move away due to the death of your uncle Benny (yes benny from S1) that leaves Eddie alone for a few years until he hits high school. However, one day when he’s taking a drive past the old burger place he notices it’s all fixed up and there are cars in the lot and sees a familiar face leaving the building.

Warnings: none to report!!!

A/N: heyyyyy guys!!!! I’m back… after almost a year lmao😔😔😔 anyway… i promised yall an Eddie fic and im finally delivering!! I lowkey might make this into a series because of the way the ending is so… enjoy!!! I will be putting out more stuff just not as frequently as last year I fear idk tho! Anyway, enjoy!!!!!

————————————————————————

The road stretches on for much longer than Eddie rememberers as he drives faster than he should. His speakers are straining as they emit the loud instrumental part of the song he’s listening to and he drums his fingers against the top of the steering wheel. 

The full green trees blur past as his speedometer climbs upwards. A bug splats on his windshield as he turns a small bend and he turns on his windshield wipers. His eyes aren’t on the road for a few seconds but when he looks back he finds a car turning out in front of him. He slams on the breaks as to avoid rear ending the vehicle. 

“Go!” He tells the car as it slowly gains speed. He pressed on the gas and looks to the left where the car pulled out of a parking lot. 

A neon sign is glowing green in the window, telling the world they are “open” while cars are parked in almost every parking space. 

Eddie furrows his brows and focuses on the building for the time he can as he keeps driving. 

The exterior is painted a dark blue with white trim on the windows and the sign above the door is still red like it always has been, reading “Benny’s Burgers”

He quickly looks down at the doors once more with strained eyes to watch a young woman, who is his age, exit through the front door with a contempt smile. He recognizes her and looks forwards. He knows her but he doesn’t know from where. 

————————————————————————

Hours later when he’s working on his van, uncle Wayne pulls into the gravel driveway and gets out of his car. 

“Hi, Ed.” He greets. 

Eddie waves with his hand that isn’t working inside of the engine, though it’s still smeared with black grease that is sure to leave a stain. “Hey. Where were you?” He wonders as he looks down at the engine once more. 

Wayne approaches to stand nearby. He sighs in contempt before he speaks. “Benny’s Burger’s.” He holds up a paper bag with the small beginnings of a grease stain at the bottom. “They’re back open believe it or not. And with the same family, being run by the brother of that friend of yours who moved away some years back.” He looks away in thought, not paying any mind to how Eddie hits his head on the hood upon hearing of his old friend. “She’s a very nice young lady now. She graduated last year from high school down in California. She actually just bought a trailer down here a few weeks ago.” Wayne continues on. Eddie watches him speak with wide eyes and a hand pressed to the top of his head. His uncle sighs. “Anyway, I brought you dinner.” He places the paper bag on top of the toolbox nearby. “I’ll be leaving for work in about an hour.” 

Eddie watches his uncle walk off without another word, only a tired sigh and an unintentional slam of the front screen door behind him. 

He sighs with a small furrow of his brows. His hand goes up to scratch at his chin where he leaves a smudge of grease behind unknowingly. 

Is his old friend really back home? He wonders to himself with a quick turn of his head back to his engine. He grabs a tool and gets to work again, still thinking about her. He used to call her Bat, because she really liked bats. 

He glances down at his bat tattoo in distraction, accidentally nicking his hand somewhere inside the complicated metal structure. He carefully retracts his hand to examine the slice in the side of his hand right below his pinkie. Blood drops down onto the top of his headlight and he pulls a face prior to wiping the crimson liquid away. “Shit.” He mutters.

Gravel crunches behind him from the road. “Is this the Munson house?” A female voice wonders. 

Eddie turns away from the inside of his hood to face the voice, immediately meeting the eyes of a young woman in a long black skirt and a large band t-shirt. A brown leather bag hangs from her shoulder. Her hair is down and she sends him a smile.  

“Yeah, ma’am.” He nods and turns around all the way to face her. 

Her kind smile very quickly turns to relief. “Good, I didn’t want to ask the wrong person.” She approaches Eddie with a few strides. Her eyes peer at the engine for a brief moment. “Is Eddie around?” 

“I’m Eddie.” He nods at her, recognizing her now that she’s so close. She was the one he saw leaving the diner. “I didn’t know you were back.” He tells her.

Her eyes are big and curious as she studies him, and her hair dances in a slow breeze that blows through the trailer park. There are small freckles on her face and her smile is sweet and looks as if it won’t ever leave. It’s like a permanent smile, and it looks good on her.

She nods up at him, studying his face and his hair. It was short, buzzed all the way down to his scalp when she left. “You… look different.” She smiles. “In a good way, of course. Your hair.” She puts her weight on one leg and pops her hip out to the side as she stares up at him with her head tilted to the side ever so slightly. “I like the look.” 

He smiles sheepishly down at his feet for a moment as a strange feeling arises in his stomach. That isn’t people’s reaction to him, but she’s known him for years. “Thanks.” Is all he says at first. “You’ve changed too. You’re very pretty.” 

She smiles brightly and looks down at herself. “Thank you!” She reaches up to adjust her bag on her shoulder. 

Eddie leans on his van and crosses his arms across his chest. “When did you get back?” He asks her and his eyes slowly look her over.

She widens her eyes and nods as if remembering she did leave. “A few weeks ago! I stayed with my parents until Jimmy finished the restaurant and they helped me get my trailer down the way.” She answers him. “I work at Benny’s with Jimmy, and I’ve been volunteering at the animal shelter, because the cats are cute and I want one.” She smiles big and it’s contagious to Eddie, making him smile as well. He admires her rambling speech. “But yeah. How about you Ed’s, what has my ol’ pal been up to after all these years?” Her eyes wander his face in curiosity.

Eddie exhales, not realizing how much he dreaded this question. He hesitates. “Well… not much actually.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I’m in a band, we’re called Corroded Coffin and we have some gigs at the hideout sometimes. I’m taking another shot at senior year.” 

“Im sorry.” She frowns a bit and Eddie wishes he could reverse it so that the crease between your brows would go away. “Do you have a job, or need one? We have a few positions open at the restaurant if you’re interested.” Her thumb goes up to gesture behind herself. 

Eddie shrugs and scratches the back of his neck again while looking away, avoiding her sure to be confused expression. “I… do my own thing, to put it lightly. But yeah a job sounds great. I have to get this baby fixed.” He pats the side of his van twice. The sound of hollow metal thuds echo out briefly.

He watches her nod while she looks the van over. She doesn’t judge it or him and it makes him relieved. “Well, we have a dishwasher or a closing shift position open. If you want either one I’ll tell Jimmy.” 

Eddie smiles at her, which seems to be constant throughout the conversation. “How’s Jimmy?” He asks, although he’s never been fond of him. Jimmy used scare him years back, not on purpose, but that could have changed. He also wants to know how your family is.

She sighs. “Well… he’s engaged, so that’s something.” She offers a smile which gives him the impression that she doesn’t like her soon to be sister in law. “But he’s good. He’s been working very hard to get the place back up and running.” 

He nods. “Wayne said he came in earlier.” 

“Oh yeah! We talked for a while, said you were doing good but that I should come by and see you after all this time.” She smiles at him with quick nods.

Eddie nods yet again. “I’m glad you did. I had… a hard time after you left.” He admits with a sheepish smile that is directed to the ground. 

She frowns at that. “I’m sorry Ed’s.” She reaches out hesitantly to touch his forearm that is hanging at his side. He feels his skin heat where her hand touches him. When she retracts her hand she speaks. “Maybe we can go out sometime. You know like… dinner or something, tell each other about the time apart.” She shrugs her shoulders and watches his face eagerly. 

“I’d like that.” Eddie nods a bit too quickly, also eager to get to know her better now that she’s back. She’s been gone for so long and he wants to know every little thing that she did. Has she dated anyone? Does she have a boyfriend? Is she going to go to college? Is she looking for someone to date?

She’s smiles up at him excitedly and snaps him out of his trance. “Awesome! Here, I’ll give you my number so you can give me a call when you’re not busy.” She goes to dig into her bag for a pen and a small sliver of paper that is wrinkled but it will do. 

Eddie watches her write her number down before he talks as she hands the paper to him and their hands brush and he swears her skin is the softest he’s ever felt. “I’m never busy.” He laughs to himself. “Just school, the band and D&D.”

“Not a bad gig though.” She shrugs. “Call me later?” Her eyes are hopeful.

Eddie nods and folds the paper into his pocket, making sure to remember it as she slowly walks backwards from the driveway. 

“I’ll see you later, Munson.” She waves. 

He nods and says back, “I’ll see you later, Bat.” 

She laughs in remembrance of the nickname and turns away, walking down the street until she is out of view of his eyes. 

He notices how dark it’s become and decides it’s time to go inside. So he quickly shuts the hood of his van, hides the toolbox away and then takes the bag of cold food inside. 

“Have a good shift tonight Wayne.” He tells his uncle who is enjoying his last moments before the night shift. He smiles and then retreats into his bedroom. 

The bag of food is dropped onto his bed before Eddie digs into his pocket for your phone number. He quickly places the sliver of paper beside his phone. He’ll call you later, but for now he’s going to relish in the fact that you’re back in his life, and nothing has changed. Well… besides the fact that you both grew up and have grown as people. But he’s dying to know who you are now. 

[mentally-gone002]

heyyyyyy gangggg

sorry i haven’t been active lol i just started school and i hate it sooooo bad but im trying to survive and also come up with fic ideas but my brain is just full of cobwebs and spiders rtn when it comes to ideas for my boy spencer…. or peter parker… so…. feel free to send me a fic idea or a request or whatever it’s called so i can start thriving again!!!!

love you guys🫶

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 7

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

summary: reader and spencer meet in the afternoon like they’d promised to play chess and get coffee. everything is prefect and comfortable, even as reader gets brave enough to do something she felt sorry for not doing sooner. 

a/n: gang… i don’t wanna end this one… but idk what i should do past this part😭😭😭 but if yall want more just request smth cuz im obsessed with how this turned out🤓 ALSO ty for all the love you’re given this series, ive had a blast writing this (literally destroyed my sleep schedule i made because i go back to school in like four days or some bullshit) and it’s rlly awesome being a writer that makes fun little things that ppl end up loving!!!! so big ty to all of yall who’ve been reading 

————————————————————————

was this too much?

i stared at myself in the mirror as i adjusted the collar of my sweater with my fingers. 

i’m just going to see my best friend, so why am i dressing like this is a date? and why am i so nervous. 

it’s a good nervous. the kind that had an entire rabble of butterflies fluttering around my stomach.

it wasn’t fancy, just a casual outfit that he’d definitely never seen me in before. i would wear this on a date though. on an occasion like this one.

i stepped away from my reflection. it was 11:30 and it wouldn’t take me longer than ten minutes to get to the coffee shop but i got my shoes on anyway. it doesn’t hurt to be early. 

i left my apartment in a giddy rush. my feet were louder on the stairs than usual due to my quick pace. 

one of my neighbors who was walking inside gave me an amused smile. “what’re you getting up to today?” she asked. 

i directed my eyes towards her. “i’m going to see a friend.” my lips were pinned in a smile. 

she grinned widely. “is it that boy who’s always coming over? the handsome tall one with brown hair?” 

“maybe.” i nodded. 

she gave me a knowing look. “oh honey, are you sure he’s just a friend?”

i tried to hide the flush over my cheeks. “i’m sure.” 

“okay.” she nodded slowly like she wasn’t convinced. “i’ll know when he’s more than that.” 

i rolled my eyes and left the building, deciding to walk instead of drive. maybe it’ll help my energy levels. 

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

i was cold by the time i got to the coffee shop. the autumn air was motionless apart from when cars would drive past me on the street, and the chill bit at my face and hands, even though i had them hidden in the sleeves of my sweater. it was bearable though. 

“welcome in!” 

the cheerful voice of a barista behind the counter mingled with the bell above the door and the chatter of customers placed across the establishment. it was warm inside and it smelled like coffee, for obvious reasons. 

“hey.” a familiar voice sounded behind me. i turned around to look at spencer while he closed the shop door behind himself. 

“hi.” i smiled. 

“have you been here long?” he wondered. 

i shook my head and freed my hands from my sleeves. “no. i got here a minute or two ago…” spencer’s hand on my face had me trailing off. his fingers moved some of my hair away from my eyes.

“did you walk?” his brows were pinched together, more so as i nodded. “it’s cold out.” 

i smiled. he’s too sweet. “i’m okay. it’s not that bad.” i promised him through the tone of my voice and the look i gave him through my lashes. 

he smiled softly with a nod. “good.” 

“we still have a chess game to go play, so you better not let the temperature get to you.” my hand reached out to gently clamp around his wrist so i could pull him after me into the short line so we could get our coffees and then walk to the park. 

“can i try yours?” i asked while walking down the sidewalk, outside again. i gestured to his coffee by tapping the side of it with my index finger. our arms brushed as we walked. 

spencer hummed a ‘yes’ as he handed off his cup to me. 

i excitedly took his cup and sipped from it, cautiously because i’ve heard morgan say that it would put him in a coma if he had more than a sip of it after mixing up an order. this happened years ago but morgan still talks about it.

he was right because when the drink hit my tongue i closed my eyes, pulling a face at how sweet it was. “jesus!”

spencer’s sweet laughter swirled inside my head. he gently took his cup back. “too sweet?” 

i nodded quickly. “yeah. how do you drink that everyday?” i sipped my own coffee to try and get rid of the sugar that still lingered on my tongue. 

when we kissed he tasted like that.

he shrugged. “i don’t know, I’m just used to it i guess.”

our arms brushed again because i can’t walk in a straight line but he didn’t seem to mind. “what did you get?” he quizzed. 

i read the barista’s handwriting on the side of the cup. it was what i got whenever i went to a coffee shop but i still liked to get my answer right. “a half dark half white chocolate mocha with caramel. i got a double shot of espresso today so… we’ll see how that plays out.” my eyes trailed up to his face while we stopped at the crosswalk across from the park. he glanced down at me, eyes all content. his pupils were blown wide which made it hard to see the brown of his eyes. 

“don’t get a caffeine rush on me.” spencer told me. “i might not be able to handle you.” 

i scoffed with a squint of my eyes. “please, you’re able to handle me no matter what.” 

he agreed with me. 

while we were stepping away from the safety of the sidewalk i mindlessly grabbed spencer’s hand. it was just a habit i’ve always had. an instinct to reach out and hold onto whoever i was with while crossing the street. 

when we reached the other side i quickly released his hand. i met his eyes with my own. “sorry. force of habit.” i smiled shyly. 

spencer smiled back. “it’s okay.” 

he found an empty table to play chess at, which was the only one that wasn’t occupied. i never knew people favored playing chess in a park so much until now.

i sat down on a stone chair on one side of the board while spencer sat across from me, pulling a box of chess pieces out of his bag. i watched him slide the white colored pieces over to me. “do you just carry those around all the time?” i wondered while placing all the pieces in the correct places. 

“yeah.” he nodded. 

i smiled. “you have a marry poppins bag.” 

“i love marry poppins.” spencer hummed. 

i laughed quietly in endearment. he’s really pretty today. 

“okay,” i put my hands flush against one another and rubbed them together. “prepare to loose.” i slid one piece forward.

spencer shook his head. “in your dreams.” he moved a piece. 

i watched him and processed a few things i could do before moving. 

we went back and forth in silence for a few minutes before i looked up at him. he was looking at the board with furrowed brows. “when did you learn to play?” 

spencer moved a piece before answering. “when i was a kid. me and my mom would play a lot.” he focused on my lips for a moment before shifting to my eyes. he smiled almost timidly. 

i stole one of his pieces with my next move. it was held between my fingers beside my face. “gotcha.” i whispered. 

he took a piece of mine and mirrored me. “you were saying?”

i frowned. “you’re mean.” i moved again.

“this is all part of the game.” he laughed as we kept playing. 

i rested my head in my hand and stared at the pieces in thought. i moved another piece over the board before taking a quick sip of coffee. 

the park was nice today. there were a lot of people walking or sitting or playing chess like us. it was comfortable. i don’t know why i haven’t come here as much. 

spencer’s hair fell over his face when a light breeze blew through the park and i wanted to reach out and brush it out of his eyes. 

i don’t remember moving my arms to do so, but i leaned across the small table and did so anyway. spencer didn’t take his eyes off of mine, not while i was moving his hair with my fingertips on his skin, and not when his hand mirroring mine took the one in his hair in his own. he intertwined our fingers and i thought i was dreaming as he moved so our elbows were propping our joined hands over the board. 

he nonchalantly went back to the game, taking one of my pieces. “your move.” he squeezed my hand to snap me out of my trance the physical contact put me in. 

i nodded, pursing my lips. “right.” i felt like there was more attention on me and it made my focus dwindle. i still moved a piece that spencer took after a few moves, but he smoothed his thumb over the small extent of my hand he could touch. 

i smiled suddenly as i took a piece of his. “while i was leaving my building my neighbor asked me where i was going. when i told her i was seeing a friend she asked ‘the handsome tall one with brown hair’ and i thought that was such an accurate description of you.” i sipped more of my coffee. being outside had cooled it down significantly. 

spencer squeezed my hand that i was convinced he wasn’t ever going to let go. i met his eyes. “you think i’m…” he trailed off momentarily while he moved another piece. “tall?” he asked, that stupid but addicting smile slipped onto his lips. 

i scoffed, mouth open in an amused smile. “yes, yes i do.” i nodded with a laugh. “all 6’1 of you.” 

spencer’s eyes were so soft on mine. they were just full of adoration and endearment. i didn’t have a problem with getting lost in them. i’d get more lost just in his company every day. 

“you’re so beautiful…” his voice was so quiet i wouldn’t have caught what he’d said if i wasn’t looking at him. i read his lips in slow motion. 

“thank you.” 

we played the rest of the game in silence and secret glances. spencer won which didn’t surprise me. he told me i was good though, and that must mean i’m really good if its coming from him. 

spencer let go of my hand so that we could put the pieces away. my hand got cold immediately. i worked quickly to group the colors of pieces and slide them over to him. 

when we left the table, people immediately occupied it. i laughed slightly. 

“is there this many people here often?” i asked, my hand brushing his as we walked. 

he slowly interlaced our fingers again, being casual with it. “this isn’t the busiest it’s been.” he replied. i nodded, looking down at our joined hands. 

my feet stopped moving across the sidewalk and spencer stopped with me. “you okay?” 

i looked up at him, searching his eyes for what he must have searched mine for when he’d first kissed me. 

i wanted to kiss him. 

i can’t deny that anymore. 

so in the middle of the park in the afternoon i did just that. i stood on my toes and kissed him. my chest pressed against his and i swear i could feel his quickened heartbeat while our lips gently pressed together. 

spencer dropped my hand to cradle my face, meaning i couldn’t pull away so soon. and i was just fine with that. 

i slid my hand around his waist to his back. my palms pressed flat into him, making a soft hum pass from him to me. 

when we did pull away for breath, spencer whispered, “it’s not too early to love me.” his forehead pressed against mine. 

i smiled. “you heard me that night?”

“yeah.” he nodded subtly. “and i’ve played it over and over again in my head.” 

i smiled, tilting my head to kiss him once. “it sounds like you love me.” i ran my hands down his back. 

“i do.” he whispered. “i really do.” 

my head rested on his chest as i hugged him closer. his arms wrapped around me in an instant. “i’m sorry i made you wait for me.” i muttered. 

“i’d wait for you no matter what.” spencer replied, kissing the top of my head. 

i smiled in content, breathing in his scent that was like a muscle relaxant. everyone and everything around me and him just faded away. 

until both of us got a phone call. 

i frowned and dug into my pocket to answer the same time as spencer. 

“hello?” 

“hello my lovely, we have a case and need you here ASAP.” penelope’s cheerful voice filled my ear. i sighed and looked up at spencer as he gave me the same look. 

i nodded. “okay. we’ll start heading over.” 

“who’s ‘we’?” penelope asked. 

“me and spencer.” i replied, not really caring if she freaks out because it’s worth it for him. 

she squealed over the line. spencer had already hung up and was waiting for me. “that’s so adorable. okay, get here quick, hotch is looking at me impatiently.”

“okay. see you soon.” 

“bye!”

i shoved my phone back into my pocket. “there goes the weekend.” i took spencer’s hand as we walked to where his car was parked. 

“i’m glad we got to do this.” he told me. i smiled, running my thumb against his hand. 

“me too.” i agreed. 

spencer stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to kiss me once. i giggled with my eyes closed. “what was that for?” i wondered. 

“just to make sure this is real.” he replied. 

i stood on my toes to kiss him again. “it is.” 

he kissed me one more time, which resulted in some guy telling us to ‘get a room’ to which i started laughing, head leaned back. 

spencer started dragging me to his car with that, we were in the safety of it when he kissed me one last time. 

“the team is waiting.” i reminded him. 

his eyes went wide. “i forgot.” he chuckled softly. 

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

when we made it to the roundtable room morgan whistled at us. “about time.” 

i smiled awkwardly and sat down, spencer following right beside me. “sorry. my car wouldn’t start.” i lied. 

“ah yes, so you repaid pretty boy with a kiss?” 

i whipped my head towards spencer and noticed a mark from the tinted chapstick i was wearing on his lips. i discretely used my fingers to wipe away any color that escaped my lips. “that’s not from me that’s from… a random girl on the street.” i avoided everyone’s eyes while attempting not to smile. “she thought he was handsome.” 

the whole team exchanged a series of unconvinced looks. hotch was the first to speak. “start the brief garcia.” 

with that she got started, talking about the new case full of gruesome details that i only heard half of. i was too distracted by the way spencer grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed it to assure we were okay. 

the team definitely didn’t believe any of what i’d just said but it didn’t really matter. neither of us cared. 

it definitely wasn’t too early to love him. 

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 6

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

summary: readers mom is told about her breakup with james by spencer. he made the mistake of thinking she already knew, but it ended in reader getting annoyed, and later angrier than she was before. 

warnings: our babies kinda fight so angsttttt

a/n: HEHEHAHFIDBIDBEKFBEID i needed to prolong it because this was originally gonna be the last part but the voices were like “NO WE DONT WANT IT TO END” so here we areeee😋😋😋 ily guys sm btw thanks for all the support on this series!!!! ENJOY GANG!!!

————————————————————————

i’ve been confused.

ever since spencer told me the reason for the kiss in his hotel room i’ve been reflecting. mostly on my feelings, which sounds like a load of bullshit but it has to be done. 

‘is it too early to love you?’ 

i didn’t know the answer to the question i’d asked until i found out that it was my best friend the whole time instead of the guy i was with for three years. and that shocked me.

i don’t know what to do about that. 

i wasn’t about to let it influence my ability to work. 

“thanks penelope.” i reached for the door handle of her lair after asking her to research something for a case i was finishing the paperwork for. 

she spun in her chair, smiling brightly. “of course! i love your visits mon ami.” 

i smiled back to her and quickly walked the hall back to the bullpen. 

upon my quick arrival through the large glass doors i was surprised to see my mom talking with spencer at my desk. i was expecting her to come by but not until five. 

my eyes went to the clock and i read that it was ten after five. i must’ve spent more time with penelope than i’d thought. 

“hi, mom.” i walked to my desk and set down the file in my hands. my eyes went to spencer’s briefly before i hugged her. “sorry i kept you waiting. i had to get some information on something.” i apologized. 

she patted my back. “it’s alright, your work is important.” she said in understanding. i pulled away and smiled at her. “why didn’t you tell me you broke up with james?” 

i looked at spencer, with wide eyes. “uhm,” i looked back at my mom. “can we talk about this later?” i asked, reaching blindly into my bag for my car keys. she nodded and pursed her lips. “i’ll meet you in the lobby, i need to give something to my boss.” i told her. 

she nodded. “okay. i’ll see you down there.” 

i watched her leave the bullpen, waiting for the glass doors to close all the way before i was looking up at spencer. “why did you tell her james and i broke up?” 

he looked shocked. “i- she asked about you two because she hadn’t heard about him in a while and was wondering why.” he replied. “i’m sorry.” 

i shook my head and gathered my things and started walking. i spun around to look back at spencer. “don’t go around telling people things that isn’t any of your business.” with that i turned and kept walking, faster now because of the annoyance bubbling under my skin. 

why would he do that?

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

“why did you break up with james?” my mom asked over dinner. 

i knew it was coming, i just didn’t realize she would ask as i’m in the middle of swallowing my drink. i coughed slightly and looked away, humming like i had to think about it. “he’s the one who broke up with me.” i told her. 

she frowned. “why? what happened?” 

i shrugged. “he just… got tired of me. he said he couldn’t deal with my job, or me as a whole.” i sifted my fork through the food on my plate. “we broke up like two months ago.”

“why didn’t you tell me?” my mom reached a hand across the small table to touch my hand. 

i gave her a look. “because i knew you’d call him and tell him to change his mind.” she bit the inside of her cheek. “he wouldn’t have anyway.” my eyes rolled slightly. 

she made a sad humming sound. “are you doing okay?” 

i nodded. “yeah, i mean he was kind of a dick because he broke almost all of my dishes, ripped up a bunch of my books and stole my tv after he’d broken up with me, but other than that, i’ve been doing good.” i gave her a tight lipped smile. “i got everything replaced so don’t worry.” i added before she got that sad look back on her face. 

“how come spencer knew about this before i did?” 

i dropped my fork and pressed my fingers into my eyes. “because he confronted me and then correctly guessed what was going on.” my lie was believable because he’d done this type of thing before, and i’ve told her about how strange it was that he could figure me out so fast. 

my mom took a sip of wine. “and then you just forgot to tell me?”

“what? no. i just… kept putting it off. i just didn’t- i don’t want to think about it.” my fingers scratched at the spot in front of my ear. “can we talk about something else, please?” 

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

after i’d gotten home from dinner i was calling spencer. he picked up as i was locking my deadbolt and i didn’t give him a chance to greet me before i was saying, “i just sat through the most uncomfortable dinner that i’ve ever had with my mom because of you.” 

spencer sputtered over the line. “because of me?” 

“yes, because of you. you and your big mouth that told my mom my business.” i paced back and forth behind my couch, one arm wrapped around my middle. 

“this wouldn’t have happened if you would’ve just told her sooner.” spencer retorted. 

i scoffed. “oh, so this is my fault now? what a mature way to handle this.” 

“this is all immature, not mature.” 

“i was being sarcastic.” i rolled my eyes in annoyance. 

“we’re both being immature.” he said. 

i shook my head while staring at the floor. “i just wish you wouldn’t have told her.”

“i thought she already knew.”

i looked up and walked back to my room. “yeah well, she didn’t.” i put the phone on speaker as i started to get undressed. 

spencer hummed. “no kidding.” he scoffed and i could almost hear him rolling his eyes. “i already apologized for this anyway, why are you calling me?” 

i pulled a tank top over my head. “i don’t know, honestly.” i picked up my phone again and pressed it to my ear. 

“how do you not know?” 

“i just don’t, okay?” i raised my voice. “sorry.” i sighed, sitting down heavily on my bed. “i just needed to hear you voice.” 

“and the best way to hear my voice was to start arguing with me?” he wondered. 

i nodded. “i just needed to vent, i didn’t want it to turn into an argument.” my eyes watched as my feet slid over the carpet. “i’m sorry.” 

spencer was quiet for a moment. “it’s okay.” he replied. “how’d your mom react to everything?” 

i scoffed a bit. “oh, you mean what did she say about him vandalizing my place?” 

“yes, that.” spencer laughed. 

i smiled at the sound of his voice. i didn’t like to fight with him. that was our first argument and i hated it. “she… didn’t say anything, believe it or not.” i laid on my back. “she did ask me why you were the first one to know.” 

he hummed. “what did you tell her?”

“i told her you just figured it out on your own.” i answered. “she believed me.”

“good. now she won’t have to cope with the fact that you love me more than her.” 

i laughed softly. “know your place reid, i love my mom. you’re second on that list.” i bit my lip, waiting for him to reply. 

“what about your sister?” he quizzed. 

i sighed. “you’re a close second.” 

“just a close second?” he inquired cheekily. 

i smiled to myself. “fine, you can share the podium.” i bargained. 

“i can work with that.” he agreed after taking a few seconds to reply. i could hear the smile on his lips and the way it infected his words. 

i smiled. he was contagious. perfectly contagious. “i’m… i’m gonna go.” i said it hesitantly. i didn’t want to go but i had things to do. not sure what they are yet but i’d find something. 

“okay.” spencer’s voice was softer now. a little quiet and disappointed. “i’ll see you tomorrow?”

“tomorrows saturday.” i reminded him. 

“right.” spencer murmured. “i’ll see you monday then.” 

i hummed in agreement. “see you monday.” 

“okay. bye.”

“bye, spencer.” 

when the line beeped to signal the end of the call i sighed with my eyes closed. why did it have to be saturday?

i called spencer again. 

“it hasn’t even been thirty seconds-“

“do you wanna do something tomorrow? like… play chess in the park or something?” 

spencer stumbled over a reply. “y- yeah. i’d like that.” i smiled widely and sat up. “what time?” 

“maybe noon? we could get coffee and then go to the park.”

“that sounds perfect.” he was breathy but loud enough so that i could hear him. 

“okay.” i bit my lip. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

“yeah, see you tomorrow.”

“okay. bye… for real this time.”

spencer laughed. “for real this time.”

i smiled at his repetition and hung up. 

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 5

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, page 6, part 7

summary: reader and spencer build ikea on the floor. they both know there’s something there, but don’t know or won’t say what it is. 

a/n: okay… can i just be honest and say idfk what i was doing but i like it??? i feel like my tone while writing this one changed a bit, but idc (i do but idk how to fix it😭) so pls enjoy I ALSO LOVE UR COMMENTS THEY KEEP ME SANE AND MAKE ME SUPER HAPPY 

————————————————————————

i went without complete dish sets and whatever else i’d written down that i needed to replace for two weeks. because unfortunately the FBI isn’t like the normal nine-to-five. i had to work through a wall of paperwork, and three cases spread across the country before i was able to step foot in ikea.

i felt bad while looking at and then eventually bringing home various things because i didn’t tell spencer i was going. but i felt like i had to go alone, because it was my apartment and all. and i didn’t want him to feel like he had to look after me.

so now i found myself sitting on the floor in my ‘lazy clothes’ which was just sweatpants and a tank-top, drinking my second glass of wine and blasting some upbeat music with a half assembled tv stand in front of me. i was flipping through the instruction book and sorting out all of the pieces i needed so that it wouldn’t fall apart either on me or in the middle of the night. my healing foot that was completely painless after the glass incident moved along with the rhythm of a song.

my trip to ikea was quite successful. i found some pretty blue dishes and really nice drinking glasses that i’d already washed and put away. they looked better than all the other dishes i’d had before, so maybe james going on a rampage was a really, really awful blessing in disguise.

i still felt bad that i didn’t bring spencer along.

halfway through taking in a mouthful of wine i was brought out of my thoughts by a series of knocks on my front door. i swallowed the wine and walked to the door. 

“hey! what’re you doing here?” i swiped a drip of wine from the corner of my smile-curled lips while looking up at spencer. 

he studied me before answering, “you weren’t answering your phone.” 

i opened my mouth as if to say ‘oh’ while glancing back to my phone as it sat on the counter. “sorry, i had the ringer off. do you wanna come in?” i asked, directing my eyes back to him. 

he nodded and i opened the door wider. his face changed as he saw the disarray of my apartment. “you went to ikea without me?” he asked.

i closed my door with a smile. “yeah, this morning. sorry i didn’t call you, i just wanted to go on my own.” i walked past where he was standing beside my dining table to turn down my music slightly prior to sitting back on the floor. “do you want some wine?” i pointed at my almost empty glass. 

he shook his head. his eyes slowly looked over all of the things on the floor, and how i had my couch pushed against a wall to make the space seem bigger, and then me. “have you been doing this all day?” 

i shook my head, finishing my wine before answering. “no. well… i got up at eight and then came home at noon, struggled to get everything inside for an hour and then went to get food with penelope which meant i got home around six, so no.” the extent of my day tumbled out of my mouth. the recitation was more for me, just backtracking over everything i did just to get the answer right for spencer. “why?” i pushed some hair from my face.

spencer looked at me with an amused smile and came to sit beside me. “you look happy.” 

my hand reached for a piece of what was the next step in the instructions on the floor beside me. i worked on the furniture while i replied to spencer. “i always get really excited when i get new furniture.” i quickly followed the rest of the instructions on the page before turning all of my attention to spencer. “what did you get up to today?” 

he shrugged. “nothing half as interesting as what you did.” his eyes looked over my face a few times. i gave him a look and silently told him to just tell me. he cleared his throat. “i went to the park and played chess, walked around to a few bookstores, drank six cups of coffee and then came here because you wouldn’t answer my calls.” his body leaned closer to mine as he talked about my unanswered calls. 

i giggled. “i already said i’m sorry for that.” my heartbeat sped up at his proximity. it was just the wine… i think. “also, six cups of coffee? on a weekend?”

spencer nodded. “i like coffee.” 

“oh, trust me, i know.” i smiled. “are you sure you don’t want some wine?” i asked, slowly getting up to refill my glass. “it’s that kind rossi broke out for us… a while ago.” i wiggled my eyebrows a little, holding the almost half full bottle up for him to see. 

he didn’t answer immediately, meaning he was contemplating, before he inevitably nodded. 

i smiled and went to grab another glass and fill it up. he joined me in the kitchen, gently taking the glass from me while i poured more for myself. “i’m glad you’re here.” i took a sip. 

“are you?” he asked. 

i nodded, bumping into his side as a way to tease but i stayed leaning into him. “yeah. your company isn’t too bad.” a smile spread over my lips that i hid with my wine glass. 

spencer huffed a short laugh. “do you want help finishing that?” he was referring to the tv stand on the floor. 

i stared at it, tilting my head this way and that before i answered, “yeah.” 

spencer nodded and we went back to sit on the floor together. with his help we got it done in less time than it took for me to construct the first half. granted, i was doing more dancing and procrastination when it was just me. 

after it was done i laid down on the floor, knees up while i stared at the ceiling. my eyes moved to look back at spencer as he smiled down at me. “what?” 

“nothing.” he didn’t look away like he usually would. he kept on staring like he did that night i was in his hotel room. 

i smiled giddily. “in case you need a picture.” i slid his phone to him in the space between us. 

he shook his head. “i have an eidetic memory.”  

i propped myself up on my elbows. “i thought that only worked with words.” 

“it’s works with images too.” spencer told me, reaching out a hand to move a piece of hair out of my face. 

i didn’t breathe while he was doing that. i felt his finger tips on my face and it made me feel warm. “how long do you remember stuff for?” 

“the specifics kind of fade after a few minutes but i still remember whatever i saw.” his voice grew softer as he spoke. 

it got quiet between us again. 

i don’t mind the silence. it leaves me with a better ability to focus on his features. like his deep eyes. his brown hair that framed his face perfectly. the blue sweater that just be new.

i looked away in a rush, trying to push the observations out of my head. 

i can’t be doing this to myself. why am i not allowing myself to feel for him?

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing i just… i have a lot on my mind.” 

“like what?” he was trying to help, so why did i want to push him away right now? i’ve never thought like this before. 

i inhaled deeply. “why did you kiss me?” my eyes found his and he looked like a deer in the headlights. 

he looked away for a second before looking back. “i’m sorry i did that.” 

“i’m not asking for an apology,” i said. “i’m asking why you kissed me.” i wasn’t trying to sound rude or anything other than curious, and yet he seemed like he wanted to cry. 

spencer cleared his throat. “i did it because i’ve wanted to for three years… and i knew that if i didn’t do it that night, i wouldn’t have another chance to.” 

i want to say that explains the last three years, but i can’t. he was too good at hiding his feelings for me to have even had a hunch about it until four weeks ago. 

i didn’t even recognize my own feelings for spencer until four weeks ago… and i’m still not entirely sure what those feelings i have are. 

i only nodded and looked away. i sat up all the way and moved to sit criss-cross right against him, leaning into him, head on his shoulder. 

i wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words, and spencer was okay with that. he returned the touch with an arm around my back. his hand gently grasped my waist. his head rested on the top of mine. 

i closed my eyes. he was really warm. and he was right there. “is it too early to love you?” i breathed. i could barely hear myself. the chances of spencer hearing was slim, but his hand on my waist gave a gentle squeeze. 

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 4

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

summary: readers ex boyfriend is an asshole… so much so that he makes readers night a little harder. but reader calls spencer, and he makes it alright.

warnings: blood

a/n: ehehehehehe this is my fav part!!!!! also this was all written in one go (part 1, pt 2, pt 3 and pt 4) so gimme like a few hours, a monster energy drink and some sour patch kids and i’ll pump another part out😜😜😜

————————————————————————

when the case ended i went back home. james was kind enough to return my key, which surprised me, but im glad he wasn’t petty enough to steal it. 

or at least i thought he wasn’t petty.

he might not have been petty enough to lock me out of my apartment but he was petty enough to trash the place.

when i got home my dishes were smashed on the floor, a few of my paperback books were torn up and my tv was gone. 

“jesus.” i murmured through an exhausted sigh. 

i decided to call him. 

“why are you calling me?” 

“i just got home and my place is a mess. disaster would be a better word actually.” i told him. 

he laughed lightly on the other end. “what the hell are you talking about?” 

i scoffed, crossing one arm over my chest. “you know damn right what i’m talking about, so don’t play dumb.” i stepped carefully over the glass pieces that used to be my dishes. i stared at one of my books on the floor, the cover of it was torn in half. “why’d you do this? i haven’t given you a reason to be this much of an asshole.” 

james said something to someone on his end of the phone. “i have my own reasons.”

“what reason is that?” 

“why do you want to know?” 

“so that i can determine weather or not to call the police on you for vandalism.” 

james sputtered out a laugh. “vandalism? please! you wouldn’t call the cops on me.” i swallowed thickly because he was right. “i got you.” he said in a sing-song tone i hated.

i hung up on him. he didn’t deserve a goodbye, or to be able to contact me again. i blocked his number and deleted it. 

i took some time to breathe and process my surroundings before my phone was once again pressed to my ear. 

“hello?” spencer sounded cheerful. and i hated to be calling about this, because i knew he wasn’t going to stay happy. “you there?”

“yeah, i’m here.” i nodded. i had no idea why i called him if i’m being honest. 

“you okay?” he already knew. his tone changed. 

i closed my eyes and sighed. “i’m great spencer.” i almost said it through my teeth, walking back to my kitchen to find a broom. “i’m just- ow, shit!” my food came down on a large piece of what used to be a drinking glass. 

“what happened?” spencer’s voice was faint as i tried to balance on one foot in the middle of a floor filled with glass.

i looked around for a safe path away from the mess. “i stepped in a piece of glass.” i answered him, carefully limping over to my couch and flipped over the back to lay against the cushions. i whimpered when i bumped my injured foot with my unharmed one. 

spencer shuffled around on his end of the phone. i heard keys jingling and his door opening. “i’ll be over in twenty minutes.” 

“spence, no, im fine, it’s just…” i looked at my foot from where its propped up on my knee and pulled a face. “it’s fine, i’ll be fine.” i assured him though it was meant more for myself. 

“i’m still coming over.” he replied. “don’t touch the glass.” 

the line went quiet and i knew he hung up. 

i groaned in pain, watching my blood soak through my sock and drip onto my light grey rug. “shit.” i leaned back into the cushions in pain and exhaustion. 

i can replace the rug. 

spencer got to my place is record time, coming in the already open door because i forgot to close it. 

“what happened?” his voice had me sitting up in shock, whipping my head around to look at him. i shot him a look, silently asking ‘why ask if you already know?’ spencer frowned as he carefully walked across the apartment to me. when he saw the glass in my food he pulled a face similar to the one i did when i first saw it. 

“before you ask if i was watching where i was going, i wasn’t.” i laughed with pain laced in my voice. he didn’t laugh. “it’s not that bad.” 

he sat beside me carefully and leaned toward my foot to look at it better. “do you have a medical kit?” his eyes studied how the glass stabbed into me as he asked. 

“surprisingly yes.” i gestured back to my bedroom. “i have one under the bathroom sink, it’s in the back on the left.” 

spencer stood up to retrieve the kit in less than thirty seconds. he set the contents of the kit on the coffee table before looking at me. “i’m gonna have to pull it out.” 

i nodded, already knowing that. i sat up a little. “okay. let’s get it over with.” i breathed heavily in and out while spencer put on latex gloves that were in the kit. he barely touched the glass and i winced. 

“sorry.” he muttered softly while grabbing the glass between his index and thumb. i screwed my eyes shut and squeezed the couch cushions in my hands. “i’m gonna count-“

“don’t fucking count, just do it.” i laughed due to anxiety, eyes still closed. 

spencer breathed deeply and then there was a sharp pain that made me lurch forward, humming in pain. 

i opened my eyes to watch as spencer quickly grabbed a piece of gauze to press it against my foot. he held it there with one hand as he met my eyes, sighing deeply. “thanks for taking care of me, doc.” i joked. 

he smiled at me, shaking his head. “don’t thank me yet, i’m not done.” 

“do you think i’ll need stitches?” i nodded at my foot. i leaned forward once the pain went down a little. 

spencer shrugged and reached for the shard that used to be in my foot. he held it up for me to see. half of it was covered in blood and the other half was a pretty shade of light green. 

i frowned. “i really liked that cup.” 

spencer laughed slightly, setting the glass back down. “you might need stitches.” he answered my initial question. “but i can do that for you. i know you don’t like hospitals.” 

i smiled at his words, surprised that he remembered that. but, he remembers everything. 

“thank you.” 

“i told you not to thank me.” he reminded. 

my eyes rolled. “too bad, i’m thanking you anyway. get over it.” 

he laughed again, just a short huff of air through his nose as he pulled the gauze away from my foot. 

he took some scissors and cut my sock off my foot, which i protested because i really like these socks, but he told me he’d replace them. when he saw the extent of the damage he determined stitches would be best prior to disinfecting the wound and getting some thread and a needle. 

“this is gonna hurt.”

“well no shit.” i sunk into my couch, just ready for this to be over. i looked at spencer while he held the needle in one hand while looking at me in confusion. “sorry… i’m ready to not be doing this anymore.” 

“i’ll be done really quick, i promise.” he nodded at me. “it’s only a half inch long and a quarter inch deep-“ 

“stop talking, i love you, but stop talking.” i dropped my head back with closed eyes. 

spencer cleared his throat, processing my words as best he could before starting with the stitches. it really didn’t take that long but it did hurt like hell. 

“okay, i’m done.” spencer wrapped gauze around my foot before taking off his latex gloves, gathering everything with my blood on it and threw it away in my garbage can. 

“thank god.” i sighed, standing up to limp into the kitchen behind him, careful to avoid every fragment of glass on the floor this time. 

spencer watched me pull a broom out of the space between my fridge and the wall. “let me sweep.” he held out a hand for me to give up the broom. i glared at him. “don’t fight me on this.” he had a warning tone. 

i gave it up and decided to clean all my destroyed books. i carefully picked up all the pages that were ripped out so harshly.

“this one was my favorite.” i was just talking to myself but spencer stopped what he was doing to look at me. i felt his eyes on me so i smiled up at him before flipping through the worn book. i looked for the page in the front with the author’s signature on it but that was missing. my eyes scanned the floor frantically for the missing page, looking for the signature in deep blue ink i’ve looked at so many times. 

“what’re you looking for?” spencer stopped sweeping again. 

i glanced at him briefly, crawling over the floor, flipping pages over and looking through the stack of them i’d made, just in case i skipped over it. “i’m looking for a page.” 

“what page?” spencer joined me on the floor. 

i shook my head. “the autographed page from this one.” i tapped the halved cover of the book. “it’s a front page, one of the blank ones.” i explained. 

“he ripped up an autographed copy?” 

i nodded, hearing the hurt in his voice. “yeah.” 

spencer helped me look. the room went quiet apart from the occasional rustling of paper. 

“found it.” spencer called to me from where he was kneeling between the couch and coffee table. he held up the page and i sighed in relief, walking on my knees across the floor to him and taking the page into my hands. “it has your blood on it.” he noted. 

i stared at the handwriting and then at a small red soaked part of a corner. i didn’t care that it had my blood on it, i cared that it wasn’t destroyed. “i don’t think he knew this was my favorite book, or he would’ve done way worse.” i muttered, again just thinking out loud. 

“can i say something?” spencer asked. i nodded at him, studying his facial expression before he said, “i never liked him.” i laughed slightly. “im serious. the way he acted with you in public, not really paying attention to you. you’d tell me about things he’d do or say and i’d just feel mad… or upset at him.” i pursed my lips. “he didn’t deserve you.”

that feeling of heartache swelled in my chest as i smoothed my thumbs over the book page in my hands. i couldn’t look at him. not after he said that. he was right, like always. “we should keep cleaning.” i stood up, being mindful of my foot as i did. i placed the book page on my coffee table and went back to picking up all of my ruined books, taking mental notes of which ones i had to replace. spencer stood up off the floor and finished sweeping up the glass on the floor. he’d look at me every few minutes, i could feel it. his eyes made my skin prickle sometimes. he was the only person who’s eyes made me react like that. 

“are all of your dishes broken?” 

i hummed in unknowing, gently placing my trashed books into the garbage and then went to my cabinets, opening them to stare at a few dishes that survived james’s wrath. “thankfully, no.” i looked back at him with a relieved smile. “i am gonna go get new sets anyway though. i need a refresh for the whole place.” 

spencer hummed in response while putting the broom back from where he watched me grab it from earlier. “want me to help?” 

i shrugged. “if you want to hang out with me in ikea for like four hours then sure.” 

he smiled. “you know me, i never have plans.” 

“i do know you.” i smiled back, now facing him with my back to the near empty cabinets.

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 3

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

summary: another case has reader flying to another city. she silently copes with not being in a relationship anymore but finds herself in spencer’s hotel room. 

a/n: i wrote all the parts so that’s why im releasing them so fast gang

————————————————————————

i woke up after my alarm. about an hour after. of course i woke up late the day after i was dumped. 

i quickly got dressed, made my hair look somewhat reasonable and then left, driving quickly through the morning traffic to get to work before i was late enough to make people worry.

but of course i was late, and it made people worry. 

as soon as i got into the roundtable room everyone’s heads snapped in my direction. 

“are you okay?” penelope was the first to ask, remote in hand as she was mid-brief with the rest of the team. her hand landed in my shoulder lightly.

i nodded at her and sat beside spencer like i always did. my lips pursed together in a smile as i looked at everyone apologetically. “sorry for being late. continue garcia.” 

she nodded, still worried, but she continued with the brief. 

“hey,” spencer followed on my heels after the brief. we had thirty minutes until we were expected on the jet. “are you okay? you look tired.”

i nodded at his observation. “i’m okay, spence.” i walked faster than him to stop at my desk to grab the go bag i have stashed there just in case i don’t bring my usual one. “back to back cases suck.” i sighed heavily to myself with a lean against my desk. 

spencer stood in front of me, just observing. his mouth opened like he was going to say something but he refrained, walking away to his own desk a few feet away. 

my fingers pinched the bridge of my nose, wishing i could look at him without being reminded that he was one reason my relationship ended last night. 

yesterday morning. 

i don’t remember what time. 

and those voicemails he’d left. they kept playing in my head.

the pocket of my jacket i still had on buzzed with an incoming call. i took it into my hand and read the caller name. 

james.

hesitantly i answered. 

“hey.”

“hi. i forgot something at your place so im coming by to get it.” 

i straightened up a bit. “i’m not home.”

“i don’t care, i can ask for a spare key or something.”

“it isn’t like a motel, the landlord isn’t always there.” i sighed in exhaustion. “i’ll leave the key on my desk here, you can come in and get it.”

“i don’t want to come into your work.” james sounded impatient.

my eyes traveled over to where spencer was staring at me. when he was caught he looked away. “i’m leaving for a case… again, so i won’t be in.” 

james is silent. “okay, fine. i’ll be there in five minutes.”

“okay, i’ll leave it under my mousepad. bring it back when you’re done.” 

“whatever you say.” 

and then the call ended. 

i groaned quietly in exhaustion and slammed my hand wrapped around my phone into the desk, sounding a loud thump through the bullpen. i got a few looks, which consisted of every set of eyes from the team on me, and i smiled awkwardly. my hand hurt from how hard i hit the table. 

“you alright over here?” morgan walked up to me in a slow stride. he had a look of concern over his whole face. 

i nodded. they were gonna pester me until they find out what happened and why i’m acting the way i am. “i’m good, morgan.” i assured him. 

he gave me that look of ‘i can see right through you’ but didn’t push me to say anything else. “we should start heading towards the jet.” 

i nodded and grabbed my bag, after taking my apartment key off of my keychain to leave it where i told james it would be. 

i followed close with morgan and the rest of the team behind me to the elevators. spencer silently walked to my side, so close i would bump arms if i moved at all.

the wait for the doors to open was making me antsy. i just wanted to be on the jet and get out of this city. 

the elevator opened after the usual signaled noise it made and james walked out of it. his eyes met mine and then went to spencer’s. i swallowed thickly. 

“key?” he asked. 

i gestured to the bullpen. “where i said it was.” 

he sighed, looked at spencer again and walked into the bullpen quickly. 

as i stepped into the elevator the team gave me a collectively strange look. 

“we had an argument last night.” i muttered, trying to ebb the tension they were making me feel. some of their faces softened at my explanation, but spencer kept on staring in concern. 

i avoided his gaze like the plague. 

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

spencer noticed i was avoiding him more than usual. the team noticed too. trust me i didn’t love the idea of being away from him. he’s amazing and brilliant and everything about him is just… 

my knuckles wrapped against the door of spencer’s hotel room. it was midnight, or later than that. 

i knew spencer didn’t sleep most nights since i had to double with him on one case and he stayed up until two in the morning working on that case. 

when he opened the door i quickly went inside, not even taking in his appearance or saying a word. 

“i didn’t think you’d be awake.” spencer told me. “what’s going on?”

i sat on his bed, shaking my head. “i’m sorry i’ve been avoiding you.” i looked up at him through my eyelashes, observing his late night appearance that was just plaid pants, a t-shirt and an unbuttoned knitted sweater. 

he shook his head dismissively. “it’s okay. we all have our own reasons for things.” 

i shook my head. “james said that you like me… or he guessed you do.” my voice was shaking and i didn’t know why. “we got into an argument about it last week after rossi’s party… and then i left for that case and when i got home he had packed all of his things and left.” why did i tell him all of that?

spencer lowered himself onto the floor so that he could see my face instead of staring at the back of my head. “he broke up with you because of me?” 

i shrugged. “you were one of the reasons… but it was mostly my job… and me.” i shifted my eyes away from him as the teary feeling appeared behind them. 

“why didn’t you tell me?” 

“because i didn’t want to.” i focused on him. “i haven’t even told my mom yet.” i scoffed slightly at myself as i hid my face in my hands. 

spencer wanted to reach out a hand as an attempt to give me some comfort, but he resisted. 

“i’m sorry,” i sat up and looked at something behind spencer. “i don’t know why i came here and just ranted about something you probably don’t even give a shit about.” i stood up from his bed and started walking to the door. spencer caught my arm with his hand to stop me. “what’re you doing?” i quizzed. 

he shook his head slowly, just staring me in the eyes. i stared back because i didn’t know what to do. his hand loosened and slid down my arm to hold my hand. “i’m sorry.” he stepped closer until we were toe to toe. 

i had to crane my neck to look up at him. he’s taller than james by a few inches. “it’s fine.” i whispered, watching him stare at my lips for longer than he should. i got that strange feeling in my stomach as we just looked at each other. 

spencer moved after some time, leaning down, almost in slow motion, and he kissed me. he kissed me and i kissed him back. 

in the middle of his hotel room. 

in the middle of the night. 

and i liked it. it made my head go quiet and my body feel all fuzzy. like there was tv static under my skin. 

but i pulled away in a rush. “we shouldn’t have done that.” i murmured, lips grazing his as i spoke. spencer breathed heavily and searched my eyes for something, anything that would tell him that i liked it. he must have found it because i didn’t even try to hide the fact that i did. and he took that as a sign to kiss me again. 

i hummed, slotting my lips with his again. over and over again, letting the taste of him corrupt my mind until i realized my hands were in his hair and his hands were on my waist, pulling me closer than what i thought was possible. 

“spencer.” i pulled away, moving out of his grasp. “i can’t…” 

he looked at me like i was the only girl in the world. but he nodded, understanding why. his hands fell away from me hesitantly. “okay… okay, i’m sorry.” he whispered. 

i shook my head. “it’s okay. i… i liked it.” i smiled slightly at him and walked to the door, leaving quietly to my own room. 

i didn’t know what to make of the night because so much happened. but i felt happy, for the first time in two weeks, so it was worth it.

and as much as i hated to admit that james was right, he was. because spencer wouldn’t have kissed me if he didn’t like me like that… would he?

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 2

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

summary: reader returns home after the case she worked for a week that had her leaving her boyfriend home after an argument. she returns and he’s made a big decision. 

a/n: 😭😭😭 anyway have fun

————————————————————————

the case ended after a week and i was glad to get home. i hated leaving after any argument with james. i had done a lot of thinking when it was just me at night during the case. james didn’t call a single time and when i’d call he picked up on the last ring. the calls wouldn’t last more than five minutes.

when Spencer parked parallel to the sidewalk at my apartment we both noticed a u-haul outside of the with a few people moving boxes into it. 

“Oh… I hope it’s not maggy.” I frown as I think of my sweet neighbor. She’s talked of moving for some months now, but I had yet to see her go.

spencer stares at the side of my face as I watch the people with the boxes work. “Who’s maggy?” He wonders and I meet his eyes.

my lips curl into a smile when I look at him. “She’s my neighbor. I like her, she made me blueberry muffins after I had moved in.” The recall of my first day in the apartment makes Spencer smile.

My hand then reach down for my bag and the other goes for the door handle. Spencer suddenly speaks. “Hey I- uhm…” I stare at him and he falls silent. “Good job on the case.” He finally tells me with a smile.

I nod at him. “thank you. You’re always doing amazing out there, you know. We’re lucky to have you, boy genius.” I reach out my hand in the door to ruffle his hair and then return it. The door opens with a click and I step out. “I’ll see you, Spence. Thank you for driving me home.”

“anytime.” He nods at me. “See you later.”

i watch him drive away before i watch a few people slide boxes into the back on the U-Haul, wondering who really was moving prior to taking the stairs up to my apartment and saw the door open with one of the u-haul workers carrying a box out of the door. 

“hey,” i stopped him. “who’s stuff is that?” i asked, pointing to the box. 

he shrugged. “it has a name on the side.” 

i moved to read the name and category on the side. 

james: bathroom

i sighed. “thanks.” the man nodded and walked down the stairs while i walked into the apartment. “james!” i called out.

he came walking out of the bedroom, sweat over his brow as he carried another box. “hey.” he said nonchalantly. 

“what are you doing?” i asked. 

the apartment was stripped of all things that belonged to him. i knew what he was doing but i needed to hear it from him. 

“what does it look like?” he asked. “i’m leaving.”

“leaving?” i reiterated. he nodded. “why? what happened?” 

“hey, i have a deadline to meet. let me get the last few boxes and then we can talk.” james said and left the apartment with a box. 

i stood in the middle of the room, arms around myself as i felt heat at the backs of my eyes. 

i wasn’t going to cry. 

“okay.” james came back and i looked at him, wanting him to just tell me why he’s leaving. “i couldn’t do it anymore.” 

“couldn’t do what anymore?” i asked. 

“this.” he gestured between us. “and all that defending of your little boy toy, spencer. i see the way you look at each other. and your job! jesus, your job is fucked!” he went off. “i barely see you, we haven’t had sex in a month, and when i try to you’re always ‘too tired’.” he said, dropping his hands down to his sides in exasperation after using air quotes. i stood silently in disbelief. “and now you don’t have anything to say? real classic.” he scoffed. “it wasn’t just those two reasons. i just… you. i can’t do it anymore. it’s just you.” 

my eyes welled with tears. i didn’t know that i, me as an entire person, would be a reason to breakup. my mouth opened but nothing came out. 

“what?” james asked. “are you gonna ask me to stay?” he walked past me and grabbed a box off of the floor. 

i shook my head and wiped my eyes, spying a square shaped thing in his back pocket? “What is that?” I ask him with a point. “If that’s some of my good jewelry, I swear to god.”

james stands and reaches for his back pocket to grab and then toss me the small velvet box. Before I open it, he says, “it’s an engagement ring. I was planning to propose to you next month, but I changed my mind.”

my hands shake as my fingers pry the box open so that I could stare at the sparkling ring in the artificial light. I sighed and closed the box once I saw how it was completely opposite of what I’d want in a ring. “When did you change your mind?” I sniffle and blink hard, willing my tears to just stay back.

“that night at rossi’s house.” He simply said before approaching to take the ring box back. He hides it within his pocket again and goes to take the box he was trying to pick up earlier into his arms.

i wrap my arms around myself and look away, biting my lip. “I…”

james rolls his eyes at me. “What? Do you finally have something to say?”

i glare at him and my arms drop to my sides. “Yes, I do!” I step towards him once with my voice raised only slightly. “Get the fuck out!”

“i am.” james said. “this was the last box. and i ended my rent payment, so this place is all yours.” he told me and then just left, slamming the door closed behind himself. 

i waited, to see if he’d come back and say something else that would make my feel numb. but he didn’t come back. 

i dropped my bag on the floor and sniffed, tears falling down my cheeks. Thr knowledge of there being a future with james is stuck in my mind, but I’m not going to tell anyone.

the space i’d shared with someone else for one and a half years was now filled with an empty feeling that made me sob. 

i didn’t try to hide it anymore. 

i cried and cried. all the way to the couch where i laid down and didn’t get up for a long time. 

i must’ve fallen asleep because it was completely dark and quiet when i sat up. i looked around, eyes landing on my phone on the floor, lit up from a notification. 

i stood up and sat on the floor in front of the device, seeing a number on the screen. 

3 missed calls. 

all from spencer. 

my hands ran over my face prior to grabbing my phone to call him back. 

“hey, are you alright?” spencer picked up after two rings. he was concerned and sounded like if i said anything that gave him the impression that something was wrong he’d show up at my door. 

“yeah, spence. i’m fine.” i replied, laying on my back on the floor. “sorry, i fell asleep after i got home and just woke up.” 

spencer hummed. “it’s okay. sorry i left so many messages.” 

“it’s okay. i haven’t listened to them yet, i called you right away.” i fidgeted with my shirt. he hummed over the line. “i should go, it’s probably late, and i haven’t changed or showered yet.” 

“okay, i’ll let you go.” 

i bit my lip. “okay. bye.”

“bye.” 

i hung up prior to getting back on my feet, walking blindly to my bedroom. i undressed in the dark, climbed into bed in the dark, laid awake in the dark, listening to spencer’s voicemails.

“hey… i noticed you were acting different during the last case. you just… i don’t know, you were distracted and you looked hurt. i just wanted to ask if you were okay.”

“it’s me… again… im worried about you. you’re usually really fast to reply but it’s been an hour, or close to it. did something happen between you and james? you didn’t mention him, and you usually do… twice everyday. i don’t know why i know that. anyway, sorry for calling again, i’m just worried.”

“please call me back. i’m about to drive over just to make sure nothing happened to you… i swear if he hurt you-“

the cut off of the last message made a strange ache in my chest appear. i tossed my phone away from me as if it was burning me. 

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 1

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

summary: reader has a boyfriend who is not so fond of spencer, or the fact that reader and spencer are best friends. this causes, yet another, argument between reader and her boyfriend. 

a/n: HEY GANGGGGGG!!!!!! so…… i have no idea when i posted last but frankly, idgaf!! so here’s some more food for you!!! this might be my fav series i’ll ever post tbh😉😉😉 also this isn’t in any specific season, i just have alex(i can’t remember her last name as im writing this) from s8 in here just because

————————————————————————

spencer and i held eye contact across the kitchen at rossi’s house one evening. 

he was involved in a conversation with morgan and alex, while i was under the arm of my boyfriend, james, as he talked to hotch about something. 

i wasn’t listening, just focusing on not blinking. spencer smiled slightly, struggling to keep himself from blinking. 

he pulled a face, making me smile and laugh quietly. 

“that’s cheating.” i mouthed. 

“no it’s not.” spencer mouthed back, smiling softly. 

i stuck my tongue out at him and crossed my eyes so that my vision became obscured. looking back with focused eyes made me realize he was blinking. 

“i win!” i cheer audibly, staying quiet enough to not interrupt the flow of words coming from james’ mouth. he did shoot me a confused look.

spencer rolled his eyes and sipped from the glass of red wine he had in his hand. he was sucked back into the conversation he was initially involved in, head turning towards alex as she started talking. 

i sighed and looked up at james, forcing a smile onto my lips as he kept on talking to hotch without giving me a glance. 

i shifted my gaze to hotch, finding him staring at me. his eyes had that worried look in them i saw sometimes and i smiled to assure i was okay. he looked away and i released a sigh i didn’t know i was holding in. 

“you ready to get going?” james’ voice got me looking back up at him. i took a few seconds to process his question before nodding. 

“i’m gonna go say bye and i’ll meet you at the front door, okay?” i took my arm out from where it was around his while he nodded. i turned on my heel and headed over to where jj, penelope, and rossi were standing. i said goodbye to them, which they were sad to hear, before going to see alex, morgan and spencer. 

“i wish you didn’t have to go.” spencer whispered while he gave me a hug. 

“i know, me too.” i whispered back, giving him a quick gentle squeeze before releasing him. 

“i’ll see you tomorrow, spence.” i waved to him and then everyone else before finding james by the front door. 

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

when james and i got to our apartment i immediately went to our room to get changed. 

“did you have fun?” i asked from the closet.

james stood in the doorway to our room, nodding. “yeah. that guys house was cool.” 

“rossi is very rich, and he will flaunt it.” i laughed. james hummed with a sound that told me he was unamused. “what’s wrong?”

“nothing it’s just… spencer was staring a lot.” he told me. “it’s like he’s got to hots for you or something.” 

i eyed him in my periphery. “he doesn’t.” i assured. my hands moved over the compartments in the closet while i tired to find what i wanted to wear after my shower.

“mhm, yeah okay. because friends gawk like that.” james sounded annoyed. “seriously, like it was kind of hard to enjoy everything when he was staring like that.”

“hey, don’t put your view of the entire evening on spencer.” i told him while exiting the walk-in closet. 

james rolled his eyes. “of course you’re defending him.” 

“i’m not defending him, james!”

“yes you are! you always do!”

“because he’s my best friend! you’d defend noah if i ever blamed him for something.”

james looked away, frustrated and biting back some remarks. “that’s different.” he muttered. 

i crossed my arms over my chest. “how? how is it different?” i asked. “is it because spencer and i aren’t the same gender? is that why?” 

james shook his head. “no, it’s not.” 

“oh, i think it is.” i scoffed, looking away at the floor. i kicked my toes into the carpet. 

the room got silent, and heavy with angst. 

“i’m sorry.” i apologized. “i didn’t mean to… make this into an argument, i just wish you’d accept that spence is my friend.” 

james sighed and walked forward, gently putting his arms around me when i was in reach. he put his chin on my shoulder and i did the same. “i’m sorry too. and i’m working on it.” 

i nodded slightly. “i know… but it’s been three years that you’ve been working on it.” my arms didn’t circle around his back in return. 

“stuff takes time… you know that.” james pulled away, hands on my waist as he looked at me. i nodded. “do you want me to order take out?” 

i nodded my head. “we already ate but sure.” james smiled and kissed me once. i didn’t close my eyes. 

“i’ll go order. you can change into something else.” he smiled and left the room. 

i sighed once he was gone, almost deflating. as i changed i glanced at my phone, itching to call someone.

“hey, mom.” i gave in and called my mom. 

she was delighted to hear from me, answering the call with a happy, “hey! how are you and james?” i sighed and rubbed my eyes. “did something happen?”

“yeah… well… i don’t know.” i replied. “we got into an argument.”

“about what?” 

“… spencer.” i uttered my coworkers name quietly. 

my mom sighed on the other end. “how’d it start?”

i went off in a rant when she asked, telling her about the entire argument. 

“… wow…” that was all my mom said after i’d calmed down. she paused. “well… what do you think of the whole conversation?”

i shrugged with an exhausted sigh. “i don’t know, mom. he just…” i put my head in one hand. “he doesn’t get it. spencer is my best friend and yes, friends are close, no that doesn’t mean we’re into each other. i don’t know why he gets mad at me for it.” i picked at my nails as spencer popped into my head.

“maybe he’s jealous.” my mom suggested it but she sounded very sure. “you do see spencer everyday and rarely ever see james.” 

“he’s not jealous.” i scoffed. “he knows spence isn’t a threat to our relationship. i… i love james.” i felt like i was convincing myself.

my mom hummed to herself. “you sounded hesitant.” 

i groaned. she can see right through me. “i have to go. thank you for talking with me.” i told her.

“of course. i love you.”

“i love you, mom.” i hung up and squeezed my phone in my hand. “you’re okay.” i told myself before walked into the living room where james was seated on the couch. 

he was working on his computer and didn’t look at me when i sat beside him. my phone was set on my coffee table.

“what’re you working on?” i wondered. my cheek rested on his shoulder. 

“just something i forgot to get done earlier.” he was vague but kissed the top of my head with a quick turn of his. “food will be here soon.” 

i nodded and closed my eyes only for a few minutes. 

my phone started to ring from where it was on the table and james grabbed it, answering the call without even reading the callers name. “this is james.” he said. “she’s right next to me, why do you need to talk to her?” 

i sat up from where i was rested against james as i listened to him speak with the caller. he sounded upset about who was calling. 

his eyes drifted to me. “mhm… okay, yeah, i’ll tell her. bye.” he hung up and set my phone on the coffee table harshly. “it was spencer. he said you guys have a case.” he said it without even looking at me. his jaw was clenched. “and he’s picking you up, apparently.”

my eyes lingered in his profile and with a quick swallow i stood up, phone in my hand as i went back to our room to grab my go bag and change into something else.

when i walked back out and headed to the door james looked at me from over the back of the couch. “how long are you gonna be gone?” he asked. 

i shrugged. “i’ll let you know when i get to the tarmac.” i said it nicely but he only settled into the couch again, his back to me. “i’ll see you when i get back. i love you.” 

he only hummed and i left.

sure enough, Spencer was waiting outside in his car for me.

[mentally-gone002]

sick and into you

summary: spencer takes care of you while you’re sick

a/n: so obsessed with him i can’t!!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

————————————————————————

ring… 

ring… 

ring-

“hello?” 

i pinched the bridge of my nose in a desperate attempt to make my piercing headache go away. my ringtone brought it back worse than it was before the loud interference. 

someone cleared their throat on the other end of the line before they spoke, “hey, are you coming into work? it’s almost noon.” 

it was spencer and he sounded worried. he had that little twinge of a rasp. i call it his “worry rasp” whenever i pick up on it.

i stifled a cough before answering. “no, i’m sick. i called hotch earlier to let him know.” the balled up tissue in my hand pressed into my runny nose. 

“do you need me to bring you anything?” his voice was still laced with concern i could pick up on even through the slight distortion the phone gave his voice.

i shook my head slightly and then answered him because he couldn’t see me. “no, spencer, i’m fine. plus, i have germs.” 

spencer scoffed. “everyone has germs.” his argument made me smile slightly. 

“but you don’t like germs. they make you feel icky.” 

“well, i can handle feeling ‘icky’ so don’t worry about me. i can go get soup from that cafe you really like.” he offered. i smiled at how he used the same word as me. it was something he definitely wouldn’t say any other time. “please, let me help you.” 

“spencer, i promise i’m okay. you stay at work and get all those excruciating files done, i’d love you so much if you did some of the ones on my desk. i’ll be back in two days tops, okay?” my throat hurt from that long running sentence so i started coughing. the phone moved away from my ear so he wouldn’t hear the extent of the ragged sound scrapping through my throat. 

when the phone came back to my ear it was quiet over the line. “you okay?” spencer asked after a beat of silence. i hummed, swallowing my spit to make the burn go away. “i’ll go so you can get some rest. drink a lot of water because it’ll flush out the sick. and try to eat.”

“okay… sorry i’m not in today.” i laid down on my couch with a groan. 

“don’t apologize.” spencer told me gently. 

i smiled with closed eyes. “okay. i’ll go now.” 

“okay, feel better. bye.”

“bye, spencer.” 

i dropped my phone next to me on the couch. i kept my eyes closed until i felt like i was drifting to sleep, which could have taken an hour or just two minutes. time didn’t matter because my headache slowly wore away until it was a light beating pain that matched my heartbeat. 

my body did that fake falling thing right as my mind went completely blank. i sat up in a rush, sweat creating a cling between my clothes and skin. my hair was messy and stuck to my neck and forehead.

once my body was upright i heard a sequence of knocking from my front door. 

with a groan i stood up. my muscles ached and i shivered at the feeling of my cold floor on my bare feet as i padded across it. i didn’t bother looking through the peephole before opening the door wide enough to see who was knocking. 

“spencer? i thought i told you to-“

“i know what you told me but i didn’t listen.” he held up a hand as he interrupted me. 

i nodded, squinting at the hallway lights from the complex. “obviously.” i stepped aside to let him in. “i look awful.” i grumbled to myself.

he smiled with tight lips as he did while he took off his shoes. he placed a plastic bag on my kitchen table near the door. “you look fine. maybe a little tired, but at least you don’t look like some of the people we see on cases.” he rambled while toeing off his shoes. 

my eyes were stuck on the bag on the table. “you got food,” i sighed, walking back to my living room to grab my almost empty glass of water. i filled it up at the sink before saying, “i told you not to do any of what you’ve just done.” my headache was starting to come back.

spencer unwrapped the bag he’d brought with him, placing a covered paper take out bowl to the side. “this is for you.” he looked at me, not replying to any of what i’d just said. his eyes lingered on me for a little longer than i’d liked. my arms went around my body to try and hide. i sniffled and tried to conceal a cough in my elbow. 

“thank you.” i grabbed a spoon from the dish rack beside the sink and then took the container of soup to my couch to sit inside the circle of blankets i’d been in just minutes before. 

spencer joined me. “i did a file or two that was on your desk.” he told me, reaching for a book on my coffee table to flip through it. 

“you didn’t have to do that. i was joking earlier.” my brows were pinched together in regret for saying it at all because he can’t tell when someone’s joking most if the time. 

he shrugged. “i knew that, but i still wanted to help you out.” 

i nodded. “thank you, but you shouldn’t have.” 

silence fell over the room while i ate slowly and he read half of the book i didn’t even see the title of. 

my brows furrowed suddenly. “what time is it?”

spencer glanced at the watch on the inside of his wrist. “five twenty-three.” he looked over at me, watching my face contort from confused to surprised. “what?”

“i slept for four hours between our phone call and you getting here.” i focused on the windows of my apartment to notice the dimming light from beyond the blinds and the glass.

“your body needed it.” he hummed gently. i looked back at him as he kept on reading. he’s too smart sometimes but it’s his trademark and it’s lovable. “sorry, i don’t know how to not be ‘boy genius’.” he smiled. 

can he read minds now? it wouldn’t surprise me. 

i nodded. “it’s okay, i like it.” the spoon in my hand brought more soup to my lips. “how’s the book?” 

“good. i haven’t read any of your books before.” he flipped to look at the cover while keeping his place. “this is the book jj and penelope were talking about during a case.” he hummed. 

i got a look at the cover and laughed. “twilight. you’ve never read twilight?” my question made him look at me and then hesitantly shake his head. “oh, my god. i have all the others if you wanna read the rest of them. they’re so good.” 

he smiled at me gently. “why is everyone so obsessed with a series about vampires and werewolves?” 

“it’s not just a series about vampires and werewolfs, spencer. it’s a complex romance.” i told him very matter-of-factly which ended in a coughing fit from the most use my voice had gotten all day. 

spencer moved closer, or i guessed he did because of how to couch dipped as i had my head turned away from him. he placed a hand on my back. “don’t overwork yourself by telling me about a series.” he was smiling, i could tell. “can i do anything?” 

i shook my head. “no, you’ve done a lot already. and you’re risking getting sick.” 

spencer sighed, keeping his hand on my back as he went back to reading with only one hand. “i don’t mind helping, you know.” he was too selfless. “i can run you a bath, or make you some tea. both would help you.” 

i sighed. “you are relentless, spencer reid.” the soup in my hands was placed on the coffee table so i could turn myself and face him. 

the hand he had on my back slid to my leg, resting a few inches above my knee. “i did come all this way.” he smiled, leaning further into the couch. “now let me help.” 

i sniffled and cleared my throat. “a bath would be nice.” 

he nodded and rose from the couch slowly. i watched as he walked around the couch and to my bedroom. i stood and followed. 

“you’re a good man.” i told him from the doorway of my bathroom. he looked back at me from the ledge of the bathtub. 

he smiled. “you’re the only person i’d do this for.” 

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idk why but i wanna do a part 2??? lmk if h should just because lolz

[mentally-gone002]

surprise coffee kisses

(collage made by moi)

summary: literally the title ^^^

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paper bag in one hand, a coffee cup in the other and a visitor badge clipped onto my shirt accompanied me up to the floor in which spencer worked on in the FBI’s headquarters in quantico. 

i’d been in the building lots of times which meant finding my way around was no problem at this point whenever i’d visit. 

on this occasion my appearance was secret. spencer had left his badge at our apartment on his nightstand and by the unseen bowl in my sink i had a feeling he hadn’t had breakfast before he left, so i’d taken the liberty of running by his favorite cafe on my way to him. 

once i had stepped out of the elevator and strode through the large glass doors with the FBI symbol and the printed title of the unit “behavioral analysis unit” on them, i made a beeline directly to his desk where he was seated. his back was arched over and he seemed to be writing. 

i smiled, slowing my strides as i got closer until i stopped. the paper bag holding his breakfast and his coffee cup was placed quietly on his desk prior to my gentle arms wrapping around the front of his shoulders from behind his desk chair. “hey, handsome.” i kept my voice low so as to not startle him. my lips quickly stamped a kiss to his cheek. 

spencer leaned his head back until it met my shoulder. his brown eyes fell over what of my face he could memorize for the millionth time. “hey, what’re you doing here?” he was gentle with asking and didn’t mean it in a rude way, he was just curious of my sudden presence in his place of work. it made him instantly forget about what he was doing.

i hummed. “you forgot your badge at home, and i brought you breakfast.” my eyes flicked to the items i’d brought for him so that he knew where they were. “and i didn’t get to see you before you left.”

he smiled lovingly as i told him about my reason for being there. he never had to worry about the feelings i felt for him because i expressed them every chance that i got. “thank you, so much.” he beamed up at me as i unwound her arms from around his shoulders. he almost frowned at the absence of my touch but he hid his disappointment. he knew his coworkers would teas him later after i’d left. 

“you’re welcome.” i leaned against spencer’s desk facing him. “what’re you working on?” my hands reached blindly into my sweater pocket to retrieve spencer’s badge as i stared down at the open file on his desk. 

he shrugged. “just some paperwork i didn’t finish last night.” he wheeled his chair to the side and stopped in front of me. “what’re you gonna do today?” 

i sighed, looking up at the ceiling as i thought. “probably run a few errands. we need a few things food wise, and then i might clean the apartment.” i answered him with a soft smile. “when do you think you’ll be home?” 

spencer looked at his watch and then at a stack of files in a paper basket at the end of his desk. “maybe… five thirty. i’ll see if i can leave earlier though, if you need any help cooking.”

i smiled at his consideration but shook my head. “i’m gonna have it all done by the time you get home, if that’s okay. i’m trying something new and don’t want you to have to see me angry if i end up ruining it.” 

“oh you mean like the time you tried to make crepes at one in the morning?” he laughed quietly while i sighed with closed eyes. “you woke me up because you started cussing at inanimate objects.”

i laughed at the remembrance even though i wanted to stay serious. “you scared the hell out of me when you walked into the room to try and calm me down.” 

spencer nodded, leaning forwards in his chair and slid his hand up onto my knee. “they turned out pretty good though.” 

i nodded as i also leaned forward. our faces were inches apart. “they did, didn’t they?” 

we silently stared at each other, eyes just wandering over one another’s faces while the buzz of the bullpen filled the space of our ended conversation. spencer looked at my lips a few times so i decided to lean in and kiss him once, since i didn’t get the chance to this morning. 

as i was pulling away i whispered, “i should get going so you can work.” 

he frowned immediately but nodded. “okay.” he kissed me again before wheeling his chair back to where it was before i had gotten there. “thank you again.” 

i nodded, squeezing my hand over his shoulder. “of course.” my lips were continuously pinned in a smile when i was with him. “i’ll see you at home, okay?”

spencer nodded. “okay. i love you.” 

“i love you.” i smiled, waving as i walked backwards towards the glass doors. 

“you’re in love with that girl.” morgan said across the bullpen to spencer, earning a few nods of approval from their coworkers to which spencer replied with just a roll of his eyes as he went back to work.

morgan was right, as much as he hated to admit, he was right.

spencer was undeniably in love with me.