mercurycat27

[mercurycat27]

im dizzy from laughing at this image

[mercurycat27]

Okay I know accessibility devices are never one-size-fits-all and that there’s a use case for these somewhere, but I can’t stop imagining trying to talk to someone at a party and they look at you and move the level down a few ticks

[mercurycat27]

[mercurycat27]

Kanzi the hyena gets a watermelon 🍉

[mercurycat27]

new jack swing (definition):

music genre from the 90s mixing r&b with hip hop & funk, distinguished by its aggressive drums & upbeat sound

what a dim-witted clone of a guy named jack yells before he bludgeons his creator to death with a baseball bat

[mercurycat27]

[mercurycat27]

"you should be at the club" I should be working on my fanfic

[mercurycat27]

The most dramatic moment during my Camp Counseling career at an all girls camp was when a girl got a letter from a friend saying that Zac Efron had died and one of her bunkmates ran out of the cabin and shouted “ZAC EFRON IS DEAD!!!!!” and the camp immediately fell into chaos girls were crying in the middle of camp and running around spreading the news everyone was yelling and the counselors had to look up wether or not Zac Efron was dead (this is a wireless camp so the girls couldn’t access the internet and check for themselves) and then get out a megaphone and be like “ZAC EFRON IS NOT DEAD PLEASE REMAIN CALM” outside of all the cabins it was insanity. 

[mercurycat27]

the verticals vs the horizontals is tomorrow

[mercurycat27]

my dad's work uses a meeting summary tool now and there's one guy (sadly not my dad) who will log into these meeting calls 30 minutes early and just yell unhinged shit for about 15 minutes and then go dead quiet once it gets time for normal people to log in. so then hours later, when someone opens the summary it says something like "James is currently on the titanic. he will die soon, which will delay his Q1 report by a week"

our new job launched its mandatory ai transcription program designed to streamline our workflow and not only does it melt down the moment it has to transcribe non-white customers but it keeps hallucinating the existence of a mysterious boy named dorian who shows up in every third call summary

[mercurycat27]

the paul mccartney is dead conspiracy theory is the funniest thing in the world because i feel like if he did die and the beatles did replace him like parents replace a gold fish and the new guy managed to look exactly like him and play left handed bass, piano, and vocals in the same style and produce the same quality of music consistently for 30+ years then it'd be honestly rude to mention it at that point. like he's earned it let him have it

[mercurycat27]

"Friends don't look at friends that way" I think some of you just need to be nicer to your friends.

[mercurycat27]

How Far From London Can You Get By Train In 12 Hours

[mercurycat27]

im completely losing it over this gif

[mercurycat27]

THE WAY IT CUTS OFF AT THE END IS SENDING ME

[mercurycat27]

we need to invent a spray tan-style treatment but instead of spraying you with tanning stuff it sprays you with heavy duty spf. and it lasts a few weeks so that way you can just get your spf spray a few times a summer instead of having to spend 10 minutes every day getting sticky and oily and making sure the sunscreen is all rubbed in. how do i get on shark tank

[mercurycat27]

* (Oh, these parentheses I keep opening?

* (I'm collecting them.

* (Right now, I'm 1,762 parentheses deep.

* (Oh, my precious parentheses... (I don't ever want to close them!