merlawrence

[merlawrence]

I'm convinced she's pregnant and this is a shotgun wedding. He only proposed two weeks ago and the wedding is next month. It's all very suspicious.

"That sounds like a bad decision if I ever heard one. The wedding, I mean."

[merlawrence]

I don't even know if I'm going.

Did you say ‘wedding’? Can I go?

[merlawrence]

Unless there's another Courtlyn Lawrence whose father is William Lawrence, it's definitely my cousin. I honestly have no idea; I'm pretty sure her fiance is an intern at her father's law firm or something. She's probably pregnant.

What the fuck? Are you sure? Why is she or he so eager to get married?

[merlawrence]

...Is that really the question you want to lead with? I'm fine, I guess. I'm managing.

Yeah, okay… I’m going to let go now. So, how are you?

[merlawrence]

hey y'all, i've had a super busy couple days, i'll be on for replies tomorrow tho

[merlawrence]

I just got an invitation to my seventeen year old cousin's wedding.

[merlawrence]

Yeah, no. No daddy kink to be found here. I like my sex vanilla.

Fun, fun, fun. I was going to bet on daddy issues but then again you don’t look like a slut or someone with a daddy kink like Lana Del Rey. 

[merlawrence]

Well Rick…

[merlawrence]

You should know I'm only hugging you because you're a foot taller than me and I can't escape your gorilla arms.

Okay, listen, I’m sorry. I had an awful day and an even worse flight on my way here… I didn’t mean to treat you like that. Come here, Mer.

[merlawrence]

I honestly don't know, considering I haven't seen you in a year, but you're being a raging asshole in the process.

I came to buy a farm, Meredith… What the fuck do you think I’m doing here?

[merlawrence]

brodycallahan:

I can’t believe they lost my luggage and said I’d get it back in approximately four days. Four fucking days, where the hell did they take it and how is it possible that they need four days to bring it back all the way here?! What a useless staff! I think it’s official — I hate Canada.

What the hell are you doing here?

[merlawrence]

I can assure you, your mother would definitely not like me. I don't know, I'm staring down twenty four three litre bottles of champagne. If anyone valued their liver, they wouldn't attempt to down over seventy litres by themselves. Wonderful, my house can pull that theme off.

Lost your taste for parties? I applaud you, my mother would love you. Oh, I could’ve done that on my own but I guess we could share the champagne, right? Yeah, a small glamorous party is a great idea. 

[merlawrence]

It's not so much issues as it is apathy and a general dislike. They pay for things so they can tell their friends I'm enjoying my independence continentally and keep up the whole happy family facade. 

Huh—— Seems as if you don’t like your parents. Daddy issues? Or Mommy issues?

[merlawrence]

It's deserved. Manhattan, you?

Well, that’s a compliment I’d never heard before… Where are you from?

[merlawrence]

Oh my god, I feel you. Nothing goes with black ice. Black ice is satan's way of fucking with us even in the winter. Snow? I can deal with it. It's cold, but it's pretty, and it at least doesn't try to be invisible.

Tip of the day: Heels and black ice don’t match. Ouch.

[merlawrence]

The pleasure is all mine, Bruno. You're exponentially less terrible than most of the guys I've met here.

Nice to meet you, Meredith. I’m Bruno.

[merlawrence]

Were you born this annoying, or is it a skill you've honed over the years?

I find this conversation very amusing, so I’m not going to back off. If you want it to stop, you’ll have to do it yourself.