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merllis · 3 months

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TSCTIR-inspired SVSSS AU.

Shen Yuan was just a regular (ehhh kind of) nerd when the invasions began, monsters and dungeons started showing up, and people started "awakening" as RPG-style superheroes with special abilities, enhanced strength/speed/etc, and ranked classifications.

Shen Yuan's older brother awakens as S-classes. His younger sister awakens as an S-class. Shen Yuan?

F-class.

Of course, chronically ill Shen Yuan told himself he wasn't really expecting any different. But there have been people who have awakened as higher classes despite their own lifelong health problems or disabilities, and in many cases awakening cured them, and so he'd hoped...

Well. It doesn't matter what he'd hoped.

The worst part isn't even that he's not some badass dungeon-delver himself (even though he is wildly curious about all the strange monsters and beasts and demons that have been turning up), the worst part is that his siblings have all but left him in the dust. They aren't just busy, he can tell that they've increasingly been avoiding him, until virtually the only time they speak to him is when they catch him trying to go into a dungeon again and then yell at him about it.

(Of course, his siblings have been increasingly aware of the danger SY is in whenever he's in proximity to them, but no one ever accused the Shen family of having strong communication skills...)

Nonetheless, if there is some possible way for Shen Yuan to increase his rank, he won't find it staying at home. And there are too many mysteries to investigate to just keep himself out of it, even if that would be more sensible. So, Shen Yuan arranges to be on various low-level dungeon teams. Often among the more questionable, misguided ones being attempted by the newly-awakened or by people who are just desperate to try and get some kind of windfall. Dungeons are dangerous, but a lucky item drop can still make someone more money in a minute than they could otherwise earn in a year. It's through these jobs that Shen Yuan meets fellow F-class Shang Qinghua, whose motives for entering the dungeons are definitely more financial than academic.

This is also how Shen Yuan ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time, in a dungeon that has suddenly gone from low-level to a high-level boss, fleeing for his life. Just when it seems like he's about to become mincemeat, his older brother (Shen Jiu) shows up and takes on the dungeon boss. But it's too much for a lone S-class, even one as determined and vicious as SJ, and Shen Yuan can only watch in horror as his brother is killed by the terrifyingly powerful and weirdly beautiful Heavenly Demon Boss.

But the reason SY survived the initial assault, when no one else did, is thanks to his hidden ability. Which temporarily grants him the powers of anyone he has a bond with who has just died, x2. Previously, he had his bacon saved by Shang Qinghua's traumatic death, and when Shen Jiu dies, SY gains enough power to actually take down this mysterious Heavenly Demon boss.

It's a hollow victory. His brother is dead. His friend is dead. Even the boss monster seems inexplicably tragic to him somehow.

And why did SJ show up anyway? Between his siblings, Shen Yuan thought that his brother had grown the most distant from him, that he even hated him now! Why couldn't he have just... stayed away...?

Despite the traumatic horror of these events, killing the boss monster grants Shen Yuan a boon. It isn't a "raise people from the dead" boon, but it does permit time travel! In fact it seems kind of emphatic on that point, like something has gone really horribly wrong with reality and the world is struggling to hold itself together now somehow. Though that could also just be because Shen Yuan's world is struggling to hold itself together...?

Regardless, this new entity called "the system" refuses to let Shen Yuan go back to a point in time before he awakened, or before the dungeons appeared. But he can go back to a point before his brother died, which is definitely good enough. Accept, accept! Who has time to read the terms & conditions? Whatever it is he'll deal with it! Just send him as far back in time as he can go!

As such, Shen Yuan's memories are sent back five years in time. Along with him go a bunch of weird new unlocked abilities, and the system menu, which demands he fulfill certain tasks and complete certain quests as a stipulation of the time travel boon. Succeed, and he gets more rewards to help him keep himself and his loved ones alive. Fail, and he'll be rebooted back to the bad ending, except to the moment before the Heavenly Demon boss died but without any of his power boosts.

So maybe Shen Yuan should have read the fine print.

Though, even if he had, he still would have made the same choice.

Back five years in the past, he's got some thinking to do. Five years is a decent chunk of time. His siblings have both awoken, and begun distancing themselves from him, but their positions are still pretty different. Shen Jiu and his childhood friend Yue Qi had a falling-out over something (they wouldn't say what) at this point in time. Shen Jiu signed on with the Qiu Collective, one of the initial rich adventuring guilds that hired people to go into dungeons. But the Qiu Collective was corrupt even by the standards of a lot of dungeon-oriented corporations, and though Shen Yuan was never made privy to the details, he knew they mistreated Shen Jiu badly and that there were a lot of investigations. The collective ultimately went under when their office was destroyed by a rogue rampaging monster, after an undiscovered dungeon opened nearby. Dungeons that open but aren't found are especially dangerous, as the threat levels will steadily increase without anyone to clear them out, until the result is a dungeon break -- monsters escaping the dungeon and emerging in the normal world, causing havoc and Godzilla-style rampages.

According to the official reports, that was what caused the destruction of the Qiu Collective's head office and the death of their CEO.

Yue Qi, on the other hand, joined the Cang Qiong guild, which had fared a little better over the five year span. Yue Qi eventually even took over the guild, and after the Qiu Collective went under, Shen Jiu made up with him enough to join him there. Shen Yuan had hoped they would reconcile and maybe even answer some of his calls, but things remained strained between all of them even afterwards.

Shen Ying, his little sister, was sheltered and trained by their older brother until she was old enough to join Cang Qiong as well, but despite being S-rank, her youth and inexperience kept her more on the sidelines. Shen Yuan had thought they might bond over being kept out of the loop, but his last conversation with his sister had made it clear that as far as she was concerned, he was still world's away from her level.

(Read: Shen Ying told him he should keep away from dangerous things, was clumsy about it, and unwittingly fed some of Shen Yuan's worst insecurities.)

On top of that, though, was another consideration:

Luo Binghe.

Among the guilds that could rival Cang Qiong five years hence, the biggest one was Demon Path. Luo Binghe would start out as a member of Cang Qiong guild, recruited shortly after awakening. Shen Yuan had thought he was pretty cool, actually, but there was some bad blood between Luo Binghe and Shen Jiu, and it got bad enough that when Luo Binghe made his solo break he got Shen Jiu embroiled in some kind of legal investigation (something about the wrongful death of another guild member) on his way out. Demon Realm and Cang Qiong remained thoroughly at odds afterwards, and things only got worse when Demon Realm surpassed Cang Qiong's count of S-rank members, and conducted a successful merger with Huan Hua guild. That is, until Luo Binghe just mysteriously vanished altogether from the public eye.

Though Luo Binghe of course wasn't the dungeon boss that actually killed Shen Jiu, he had certainly been trying to destroy him before Shen Yuan reset the timeline.

But going five years back in time... Luo Binghe had been a prodigy, the youngest to become a guild leader. Five years hence, he'd be around twenty years old.

Which means that right now, thanks to the rewind, he is fourteen or fifteen years old and hasn't even awakened yet.

It would be possible to take him out of the equation altogether.

Then, there's Liu Qingge. An S-rank who died in a dungeon under suspicious circumstances, which provided the crux of the investigation into Shen Jiu. He and Shen Jiu had also never gotten along, although once again no one had confided the details to him. Shen Yuan refused to believe that his brother had actually murdered Liu Qingge, though. If Shen Jiu was going to murder someone he'd be a lot less obvious about it.

But it would probably be better if Liu Qingge didn't die at all.

Lastly, there's the matter of Shang Qinghua.

According to Shen Yuan's mental math, Shang Qinghua won't have awoken his abilities yet either. Five years into the future, extensive research and several regrettable moves on the part of various governments and guilds would reveal that even though it was supposedly impossible to increase someone's rank after awakening, how a person awoke their abilities could have a great deal of impact on their rank.

Shang Qinghua was a textbook example of a bad awakening. His skills were mostly oriented towards stealth and item drop bonuses, but his awakening had been violent, prompted by a shady center that promised people an avenue to adventure and riches only to use mortal terror to trigger the awakening process. Being in extreme danger would work fine for those with combat skills, but wasn't so good for everyone else. A lot of people had their awakening stunted by such early methods, which were not only a bad way to go about it but also traumatic to boot.

Shen Yuan has a suspicion that someone like Shang Qinghua would actually be incredibly valuable for stealth missions and item farming, if only he'd awoken at full potential. Instead, he'd struggled to make anything of his abilities due to his lack of durability or access to the kind of high-level items that would compensate for it.

Gathering all this foresight, Shen Yuan sets about altering the future to protect his siblings.

Step one: find Luo Binghe.

Shen Yuan's initial thought was to just kind of, nudge Luo Binghe towards something different from Cang Qiong altogether. Maybe if he started out with Huan Hua guild, he could contain all his trouble there. But when he finds him, Binghe is in a bad situation. The kid's living in foster care with abusive caretakers, his adoptive mother has recently died, and he's waiting tables and picking up trash instead of going to school. His clothes are threadbare, he's too skinny, and he looks like he's been beaten.

Between a rocky introduction and an attack from a Moon Python Rhinoceros thanks to a nearby dungeon break, Shen Yuan manages to convince Luo Binghe to hire him as his agent (fee = 0% of all Binghe's dungeon earnings plus 0% from contracts), and determinedly takes over. The System seems to wildly approve of it.

Creepy. And suspicious.

But Binghe is actually a total sweetheart, as it happens, to the point where Shen Yuan can't imagine what inspired the enmity between him and Shen Jiu. This kid truly is a diamond in the rough. He just needed a little help and some actual guidance, that's all!

With Binghe on the road to a less antagonistic fate, the next most chronologically urgent item on the list is Shang Qinghua. Shen Yuan has a new ability that lets him awaken people to their full potential, and his chosen guinea pig is his own formerly deceased bro. Somehow, awakening Shang Qinghua's abilities ends up involving a near-miss with rescuing him from debt collectors, and running into (and rescuing) the S-class Mobei Jun, who had joined Demon Realm as Luo Binghe's subordinate back in the original timeline.

It's actually quite fortuitous, though, because Shang Qinghua's treasure-hunter and stealth abilities are best suited to him being accompanied by a high-ranking hunter who can pick up the physical slack. Shen Yuan had been thinking that at least awakening Shang Qinghua as a D-rank would make him durable enough to handle some dungeons without turning to sketchy organizations for back-up, but with Mobei Jun, the ice prince can ferry the man right to the most valuable loot!

Shen Yuan's on a roll!

He discovers that some of his new abilities have utility as beast-taming skills, and tackles several dungeons successfully with the help of Luo Binghe, Shang Qinghua, and Mobei Jun. They even manage to rescue A-class Sha Hualing from a sticky situation, and Shen Yuan learns that his abilities can, in fact, help other awakened level up their own rank (previously believed impossible). With enough of his influence, Sha Hualing could become S-rank one day.

But of course, it can't be too easy.

When Shen Yuan moves to intervene with the dungeon break that wiped out the Qiu Collective, and seemed to start all the controversies against his brother, he instead finds that there is no dungeon at all. Yet, clearly some kind of attack on the building is underway.

He finds out why when he comes across his brother in a fugue state, murdering his way through his own guild.

Turns out, most S-ranks creep people out. Most average people can barely tolerate being around them even before they awaken. But afterwards? Their oppressive auras and sheer strength tend to trigger everyone's flight-or-fight reflex. Shen Yuan never noticed, because he's grown up surrounded by S-ranks his whole life. Even upon watching Shen Jiu kill the Qiu members, Shen Yuan's chief source of upset is that they were apparently treating his brother so badly that they inspired a murder spree from someone ordinarily much more calculating and clever than that.

Apparently, Shen Yuan should have been taking the opportunity to move against them a lot sooner, rather than just mitigating the whole supposed dungeon-break disaster and then investigating after. His own fault. He thought that keeping his distance would help his siblings, but clearly, letting them hoard their secrets and do whatever they think is best isn't the way to go either.

Does he even know what's really happening with his sister? Or to Yue Qi over at Cang Qiong? At this point in time, his friend had stopped contacting him altogether for several months in a row. When he came back, he was definitely more subdued and even more distant than he had been before. And that's the same guild that Shen Jiu and Shen Ying will eventually join as well, presumably with its own skeletons packed into the closet.

Shen Yuan's going to have to adjust a lot of his plans, it seems.

But first -- he's got a murder spree to help cover up, and an older brother to take home and, uh. Calm down. Or something?

Damn. Maybe Shen Jiu did kill Liu Qingge on purpose. He's going to have to thoroughly figure that situation out too, if he wants to handle it right...

#svsss #solo levelling #mini fic #fusion

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merllis · 10 months

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#Jack POV #fic #crossover #star gate

Celestial

The ship that came through the rift was… abnormal. Not in the sense that they hadn’t seen the like – no it was very clearly Goa'uld in design. The abnormal thing was how huge it was.

Keep reading

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merllis · 1 year

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Percy Jackson Fic Recs

mother to mother by vivelalark

The Goddess of Marriage had no love for mortals – not anymore. Not with all their arrogance and pride and stupidity.

Io was the first to betray her, Jason broke her heart, Ixion was a disgrace, and so she had forsaken them all for her golden throne in the skies, detached and indifferent.

Sally Jackson was no exception. Hera had answered her prayer out of pity for the mortal woman, alone on her birthing bed, and put aside her disdain in a moment of mercy.

The only thing she hated more than mortals were demigods.

(Or, an AU where Hera, the Goddess of Mothers, crosses paths with the Best Fictional Mother™ aka Sally MFing Jackson)

Words: 30,086 Chapters: 5/?

An Undertow of Sand by Shujin1

"A half-blood child of the eldest gods, shall reach sixteen against all odds." Who decided the sons of Kronos met the criteria for eldest gods? There are older gods. Elder Gods. And They have been watching. See with the vision granted to your mind, oh Child of Prophecy. For reality is a lie. Your very existence is a flaw. An anomaly. A bend in Fate. And if Fate can bend, then it can break.

Everything is different. Nothing has changed.

Open your eyes…

Words: 260,726 Chapters: 31/?

The Hero Unsung by Sarcastic_Metaphor

“Oh gods,” Percy thought, “I got fucking isekai’ed.”

Thrown back in time and tossed onto the scorching shores of ancient Greece, Percy becomes the unwilling center of attention for an entire army. One destined to sail for Troy and wage a ten year war. If only they could appease the gods keeping them far from their destination first…

Meanwhile, Percy will have to make allies fast while navigating a pantheon of deities who have not yet been tempered by time. Because here, it’s not just the kings who have taken a terrible interest in him; Percy will soon learn just how painful the attention of a god can really be.

Words: 83,614 Chapters: 15/?

Oh Yeah, No, I Totally Forgot by BlueberryLimoncello

Amphitrite really had only gone to that particular beach to see if there was something special about it. To see if the surf was softer, the wildlife nicer, if the nymphs were maybe prettier. She needed to see if there was a reason Poseidon went there so often.

But the stretch of sand she’d come to was truly pitiful, it wasn’t anything special or different, it was in fact boringly empty.

Or it was meant to be empty.

A small child stared up at her with big green eyes, a mop of dark curly hair, and an armful of various colorful buckets and a tiny shovel.

Oh.

Words: 76,841 Chapters: 33/?

Falling For You by 1967HogwartsGoddess

In an alternate series of events, Percy saves Annabeth from falling into Tartarus. Too bad he can't save himself. As Annabeth leads the Seven on a treacherous quest to meet him at the Doors of Death, Percy fights through a wasteland of pain, torture and difficult choices. Surrounded by monsters, alone in the darkest corner of the underworld, he starts to question whether he's a good kid anymore.

Final chapter is an AU following on from chapter 66.

Words: 269,696 Chapters: 69/69

the winner takes it all by 5_m0re_minutesDaisy by hautepink

Hera messed up. Percy Jackson wakes up outside the Wolf House to a she-wolf goddess telling him that the Queen of Olympus wiped his memories. Even worse, Hera accidentally put him to sleep for an entire year instead of six months. It's December 2010, and without Percy's help in the war, Gaea and her giants claimed victory and drove the gods into hiding. With the Mist fallen and the world crawling with monsters, Percy must seek out the demigod survivors at Lupa's guidance as they prepare to make their final stand.

Or an AU, dystopian retelling of Heroes of Olympus with a lot of plot twists: the canon divergence is not what you think it is, and the original plot gets entirely upended.

Words: 208,722 Chapters: 40/?

Daisy by hautepink

An unfortunate sophomore in college finds herself waking up after passing out in the midst of an all-night study session in the middle of a hospital. This would be concerning even without the fact that she seems to be in labor, and Sally Jackson is very much not her name.

Words: 40,341 Chapters: 9/?

Wrath of the Earthshaker by IStillPlayWithLegos

The Gorgons die screaming.

Stheno's wails are heard for miles as she burns from the inside out. The eldest begs for mercy, reminding her killer of his father's kindness. Will Solace thinks of mice and locusts and plagues. Of Apollo Smintheus and the mercy he showed in the Trojan War. He giggles at her pleas and summons more sunlight. The only thing left of her is a pile of golden ashes.

Euryale thinks fighting a daughter of Demeter is beneath her. She learns her lesson at the hands of Katie Gardner, who remains sitting at their table out in the stone garden. She whispers to the bushels of roses and firethorns around her and strokes their petals with a gentle touch. Katie smiles into her teacup as Euryale suffocates, sent back to Tartarus, swaddled in a blanket of thorns.

Percy Jackson guts Medusa, stomach to breast, with black claws, and watches her blood pool at his feet. If he closes his eyes, he can almost feel it pulsing. Riptide severs her head in one clean strike, and she dissolves into gold dust. For the second time, she is slain by one named Perseus. There's no Chrysaor or Pegasus to spring from her neck this time, but a child of Poseidon is present to haunt her all the same.

Words: 29,532 Chapters: 9/?

The law of change and the lack thereof by Irisinally

After the Second Giant War, Percy just wanted a break. Because of that, his mom decided to visit her family back in Britain.

It was just his luck that his cousin was some other kind of special. With the discovery of wizards, a new mythological mystery that could very well be good or bad and Camp Half-blood taking part in some kind of magic games, Percy's break was completely ruined.

Absolutely perfect, isn't it?

Words: 113,002 Chapters: 32/32

My Golden Crown of Sorrow, My Bloody Sword to Swing by mrthology

He stepped forwards, Anaklusmos held out in front of him. No one else was in the throne room—not even Annabeth. It was just him and Luke's body. His feet crunched over shattered bits of marble and glass, the steps loud in the echoing silence. He looked up to the black sky above, terror suddenly clogging his throat. Something was wrong here. He had been sure his dreams would end with Kronos' defeat, that he would no longer be haunted by visions of what could be and would no longer have voices clamouring in his mind.

Apparently not.

———

Percy refused godhood standing in the ruins of Olympus, Luke’s body sprawled at his feet. Fate, however, has a different plan for him, and for them all.

Words: 8,000 Chapters: 1/1

Camping By The Shore by withay for JadeStar

Estelle Blofis is too sick to go camping with the Girl Scouts, and this is the worst thing to ever happen in her six years of life. Luckily, her big brother is willing to create a camping trip for her. Told from their parents point of view.

Words: 5,628 Chapters: 1/1

Full Disclosure, I am a Monster by NOTTODAYARTT

It made a sound that sounded halfway between a growl and an exasperated sigh, "Kid. I really don't want to drag you out here, but I will if I need to. Now here's how this is gonna go, you could one, come out and," it shuffled around and grabbed something from its pocket, the object popped and then started hissing, "share this delicious cherry coke with me, or B I can drag you out by your arm and you'll start crying and I'll feel bad, because you're crying… So kid, what's it going to be?"

(In other words, monster!Percy because there's not enough of that in this fandom)

Words: 10,235 Chapters: 4/7

Hired Hands by neighborhood_yogurt

"A short, plump man in a three-piece suit stood over a costumed child wrapped in a small boat chain. The man had a smoking revolver in his hand leveled at a spot right next to the kid’s ear. His ridiculous top hat sat low over his eyes, but his hooked nose was just long enough to jut past the brim. The lighting in the warehouse wasn’t great, but Percy recognized him immediately. It was the Gotham supervillain Penguin, and Percy was on his godsdamned payroll."

Words: 50,325 Chapters: 12/17

Just Add Water by seasunwrites

“Don’t you feel it, Sal?” he said, pulling her closer.

She looked up at him and met his eyes.

“What?”

“The sea,” Poseidon explained. “It rises with the moon. Over and over. One of the only sureties in this world. Over and over, the tide will rise.”

Sally gave him a funny look. “Well, of course I know about the tides and that it’s a full moon—”

“Yes, but do you feel it?”

It's strange, how you add a bit of water and suddenly...Percy isn't human anymore.

(aka an h20 au that no one asked for)

Words: 58,434 Chapters: 10/?

Inkspell. by youngjusticewriter

Because of a passing breeze the man’s trench coat and some fallen leaves drifted in the wind. “That reminds me - I suppose it’s rude of me not to introduce myself! It’s a pleasure to meet you my new friend. I’m Osamu Dazai.”

And that was how Percy’s new life began.

[\]

Or, Percy saves Dazai from drowning while underwater. Dazai is naturally curious how that worked considering Percy was holding his wrist.

Words: 34,420 Chapters: 8/?

After the Gates of Prophecies by mrthology

"They know something has irreversibly changed," Juno said.

"I'm Greek," Percy protested, ignoring the roaring in his chest, the pull the Roman demigods and legacies had on the very fibres of his being. He wondered if they even knew he existed, that there was a new God walking amongst them.

"You are something new, Perseus. There has never been a god like you before. You've terrified us all." Juno paused, allowing Percy to watch the thriving city. "You are going to change us all. I simply do not know if you will change us for better, or for worse."

—

Percy refused godhood standing in the ruins of Olympus, Luke's body sprawled at his feet. Fate, however, had a different plan.

Words: 41,000 Chapters: 12/30

Of Storms and Bloodlines by inkncoffee

When people thought of Poseidon they thought of the sea; Poseidon, Lord of the Seas, Commander of the Waves, the Stormbringer. Upon consideration they would add Earthshaker, for catastrophic events such as earthquakes were hard to forget. Few remembered, however, that Poseidon was also Lord of the Horses. Stormbringer and Earthshaker tended to squeeze that one out.

Percy had been able to talk to horses for as long as he could remember. He liked to think he understood them. Although he's not entirely sure why the new stallion thinks he's its foal.

Poseidon is not jealous that Percy thinks a horse makes a better father figure than himself. At all.

Words: 12,780 Chapters: 3/3

you with the sea in your eyes (you have the ocean at your fingertips) by SenjuMizusaya

(Fem!Percy)

After finally defeating Kronos, Percy had expected peace, not a flash of molten gold after which she found herself as a twelve year old girl in a village recently reduced to rubble, surrounded by forest and Ancient Greek.

A little too much Ancient Greek.

(Or, Percy is flung back into the past and gets a hands-on history lesson when it comes to living during the Greek classism.)

Words: 52,321 Chapters: 9/?

my soul opposes fate (with daily will) by visiblyuncomfortablIf

Percy Jackson rejecting godhood was not the plan, and so the Fates must act. So, as the Giant War ends and Gaea is defeated, the Moirai make a god out of the boy destined for it. No one but them is happy about this decision, but now Percy has to learn to navigate his new powers and new life whether he likes it or not.

there's one good thing to come out of it though, it's the new friendship he's somehow found himself in with a certain sun god…

Words: 62,177 Chapters: 20/?

A Quarter Life Crisis by Butterflies_Stormclouds

Percy turned down godhood in the hope of having the white picket fence dream with Annabeth. Now he's in his early twenties, has the girl, his flat and midway through a degree and it's not quite as peaceful and fulfilling as sixteen year old Percy had imagined. But nothing in his life has ever gone smoothly and "retirement" doesn't quite fit into Percy's vocabulary all that well.

Words: 17,258 Chapters: 5/5

I've been here before by Butterflies_Stormclouds

Percy has been present when a lot of major deities have "died." Two months before getting married, Percy falls down the rabbit hole when parts of those deities left within him fills the missing pieces of his soul a little too well.

Words: 44,283 Chapters: 17/19

bring the forgotten dawn by poisedwalrus

“What is it?” Grover asks, “What’s with that weird look on your face?”

“Just trying to figure out if turning me in will get us enough bounty money to buy our way to LA.” Percy says, craning his neck towards the news van.

“We are not turning you in to the police.” Grover presses his head back into the alleyway.

“Why not?” Percy says. They could use a bit of cash. “You guys can just break me out afterwards, right?”

Annabeth looks like she’s considering it.

“No, guys,” Grover says. “No.”

If Percy has to spend the rest of his life cleaning up after the gods, then he might as well start from the beginning.

Words: 21,890 Chapters: 6/6

Symbol of the Ocean's Love by WardofWinters (QoLife)

Aphrodite doesn't use a dove to claim her kids, she was born of the sea. She rose from the depths of the ocean, crafted of seafoam. No, she doesn't use a dove to claim her children, her little pearls, she uses her sacred conch shell.

Problem is, so does Triton.

Words: 11,963 Chapters: 2/5

Hold Tight and Pretend It's a Plan by Rynna_Aurelia

Olympus has fallen.

The second Gigantomachy has ended far differently than the first, and in Gaea's triumph, the world has been torn apart. But the Fates have seen what ends their failed meddling have brought, look on at the dead—and undo what should never have happened the only way they possibly can.

Perseus Jackson, son of Poseidon, is returned to his twelve-year-old self, memories intact and determined to save everyone he can. But he is not alone.

The Moirai underestimated the strength of the Lord of Time when stealing his power, and there is something about this particular demigod brat that intrigues him. . .

Perseus Jackson came roaring to life with a violent gasp, green eyes wild. After a moment of panicked flailing and struggling to breathe, his fear-filled gaze settled upon a girl with blonde hair and stormy grey eyes, her face stern and unimpressed.

"You drool in your sleep."

Words: 112,485 Chapters: 21/21

#fic recs #percy jackson #canon divergence #timetravel #crossover

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merllis · 3 years

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voting for Looking Forward in Reverse

I have come to the revelation that I can’t actually work on more than one fic at a time.

The time has come fir me to choose, does anyone have any preference one what I work on first, Looking forward in reverse or Maybe I’m paying fir the things I’ve done?

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merllis · 3 years

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BEKKATHYST FIRST GIVEAWAY OF 2021

~This giveaway is in no way affiliated with Tumblr.~

Please read thoroughly before entering!

Hello lovely Tumblr folk! It’s that time again- I have a giveaway for you all. Unlike previous giveaways, this one has been made possible by the lovely human @classicintp who graciously sponsored this giveaway.

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This handmade (by me!) sterling silver larimar and aquamarine statement necklace. It is a massive statement piece valued at $225.

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You must be 16 or older. (If under 18 you MUST have parent’s permission)

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Reblog this post to enter. Likes count, too. No giveaway or spam blogs. If you reblog on a side blog, let me know in the tags what the name of your blog is that you’re following me with.

Please don’t spam people with reblogs- limit 2 reblogs per blog per day.

At the end, each entry will be assigned a number and the grand prize winner will be chosen by a random number generator. The runner up will be chosen second.

The giveaway ends Friday, January 15th, 2021 at 6 pm Pacific time.

The winner will be messaged and must respond with their full name and address within 24 hours, or new winners will be chosen.

Please respect me and my rules, and have fun!

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merllis · 4 years

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Ok so imagine that instead of running away as a kid, Five stays. However when Ben is supposed to die, it's Five instead and so Ben lives but Five's now a ghost and only Klaus can see him. What do you think would be the reason Five ends up dying, and how do you think the others would react?

OOF you just come into my house?? and hit me with that?? absolutely illegal

So Five stays. Five stays and they’re what, fifteen? They go on a mission, and one of them doesn’t come home.

It was supposed to be Ben. It wasn’t.

Five can jump through space, can warp into position, he’s frightening adept at it since he abandoned time travel and focused entirely on improving everything else he could about himself. He’s very very good at his job, and he’s the only one that notices something is about to happen

Maybe Ben has lost control of his powers, and Five is the only one to notice. Five sees Ben tearing himself apart and realizes that he’s the only one who can get close enough to knock Ben out, so he jumps and he manages but he’s not quite fast enough and Ben is out and the tentacles are retreating but not before one can grab him and hurl him into the wall with a sharp crack and then - darkness.

Maybe it’s not Ben’s powers at all. Maybe it’s a bank robber they didn’t account for, one who is frightened and has a gun and who has seen these terrible frightening children murder their fellows and they have a spouse and children and they don’t want to die here over money so they pull up their gun and they take the shot (at Ben, at the biggest danger) and Five sees them from the corner of his eye and without even thinking about it he - jumps. In front of Ben. He takes the bullet because Ben is the best of them, is the kindest of them, and he doesn’t have a single consideration for his own life only for Ben’s.

Maybe it’s something different, but no matter what it is the facts remain the same: Five sees a danger, Five is the only one who can reach his brother in time, Five acts without even thinking, Five dies

Five pops up again, gasping and realizing very quickly that he’s dead. He’s incorporeal, he’s standing at the scene of his own murder, people pass through him when he tries to get attention. But it’s established in the show that they can use their powers as ghosts so Five does what he does best: he jumps. He goes home. He realizes that one of his siblings can see ghosts, and he finds Klaus.

And Five isn’t Ben. He isn’t soft, he’s always been hard angles and sharp words - so when Klaus hesitates to tell the others about Five, Five offers proof. Various pieces of blackmail he’s gathered on the others over the years just in case, things that Klaus would never know. He bugs Klaus into calling a family meeting without Reginald and makes Klaus translate his comments because he’ll be fucking damned if Ben blames himself for Five’s choices. That’s not allowed to happen.

“But Klaus, I thought you couldn’t see ghosts when high?” One of them ask, because they aren’t blind and they know Klaus does drugs to deal with his powers.

“I mean, it’s Five.” Klaus says despondently, looking at where Five is waving his hand through Luther’s head with a fascinated stare, “If anyone could decide to defy all the rules it’s fucking him.” and they accept that because of course they would

and because this is me and i make the rules in my aus I say that this brings them closer together as a whole because Five isn’t Ben, he isn’t content just interacting with Klaus. He doesn’t stick to Klaus’s side by glue, he’s floating through the halls of the manor and then pops up in Klaus’s room like “Hey bitch go to Vanya’s room she’s sad and I want to give her the book on music theory that’s under my bed so up an’ at ‘em you get to me my legs”

“what if i don’t want to?” Klaus asks, only once

“then you get to hear the dulcet tones of me singing the song that’ll get on your nerves until you do” Five threatens, with a look that says it is NOT an empty threat so Klaus hops to

Five pushes at the boundaries of what he can do as a ghost. Ben can pick up books in the show, right? Five pick up books and throws them. He shakes cabinets when he’s angry. He’s basically a weak poltergeist with a very limited ability to interact with his surrounding - maybe he can only interact with objects he had a connection with in life? But in the mansion there are plenty objects he has enough of a connection with to manipulate SO the whole family gets to deal with shit being thrown at them by an irritable Five

Five debates haunting the shit out of Reggie but Klaus begs him not to, because then their dad would just make Klaus try control Five or blame him for it, so Five deals with just making sarcastic comments whenever Reginald is talking and also petty shit like,, giving him bunny ears or sticking his limbs through Reginald’s chest or hell even just gently breakdancing while Reggie is lecturing and Klaus has to really fucking try to not bust out laughing which is its own issues

Klaus gets special training in the mausoleum, and Five gets to go with. Five doesn’t know how to help with this, and maybe in another world Ben curls up next to Klaus and tries to softly comfort him but that’s never been Five’s style. He yells. He’s gonna be the SCARIEST FUCKING GHOST FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE THESE GHOSTLY LOSERS TRY AND FREAK OUT HIS BROTHER. Five is gonna find out whether a ghost can kill another ghost by being a a rabid chihuahua at these ghosts. He’s going to sing backstreet boys songs at the top of his fucking lungs to drown out these weirdos and make Klaus laugh. Maybe he jumps out of the room and jumps back with a flashlight or a book or something else in the manor that he can interact with, to keep Klaus entertained

Five has always had the attitude of being proactive about these things

Five goes on missions with them, Luther makes a dumb fucking plan and gets shivers down his spine and is immediately like “Klaus tell Five to stop sticking his limbs in my body” “Five says he will when you stop having little bitch ass plans” “I’m pretty sure he didn’t say that” “Actually that was a direct quote and also he’s flipping you off right now”

They get older. Klaus gets taller. Diego’s voice drops. Luther packs on more muscle. Five stays the same.

He’s dead, of course he wouldn’t grow.

That doesn’t stop him from yeeting books off the shelves in a tantrum when he realizes that he’s doomed to be the shortest of the siblings except for Vanya for all eternity.

(”Klaus what the fuck is wrong with Five now?” Diego asks. It’s the middle of the night. Books are flying off the shelves. Klaus is so tired, so very tired. “Five has realized that he is dead.” “…Yes?” “Dead people do not grow.” “Just say it Klaus.” “Five has realized he’s not going to get taller and is permanently fifteen and is angry about this.” “…alright well good luck with that, I guess.”)

They’re on a mission. They’re on a mission and Five is the ultimate lookout because he isn’t stopped by little things like walls or people seeing him or whatever. Five sees something about to happen, and he yells and something happens and Klaus’s hands are blue and Five zips through space and reaches his sibling (let’s say Diego why not) and he pulls even though he knows he’ll go right through but the guy is right there and he can’t watch his brother die and -

Five does not go through Diego. Five pulls Diego to the side and the blow that should have killed him misses, and Diego lives, and Five touched him.

(Five is the scariest ghost around, and the other ghosts haven’t been bothering Klaus - so he’d been weaning himself off of the drugs for a while now, Five often needed him to do things that were difficult to do when drugged out of his mind and Klaus figured it was an even trade for Five scaring off the other ghosts so - he’s sober)

Diego has a knife, and he killed the guy, but his eyes are locked with Five’s the entire time because he can see Five.

the whole family is shocked, even when Klaus gasps and the blue from his hands vanishes and so does Five to everyone but him. they look at each other and just stare.

“tell luther if he tells dad i’m going to flood his bathroom again” five says, just a little hysterically. “what the FUCK klaus” says the rest of the family

they get home, and somehow Reginald finds out and he has a whole speech about Number Four’s potential and shit and the fact that he can summon Number Five and how perhaps it wasn’t as much of a loss as he thought if Five was still around as a ghost and later they all gather in one of the rooms which has become a commonplace occurrence when Five wants a family meeting and he’s always been willing to pull the ‘dead’ card

(before they gather, Klaus and Five sit in Klaus’s room practicing making Five corporeal and the first thing he does is hurl himself into Klaus’s arms and hug him. Because he’s still 15, he hasn’t touched anyone else since he died and his inability to touch his siblings hurt no matter how many times he poked fun of it by walking through them)

so they have a meeting, and blue glows across Klaus’s hands and Five is visible and the first thing Five says to his family in years is - “Me and Klaus are leaving, who’s coming with?”

Because they’re almost eighteen now, close enough to leave and not have it look too suspicious. And maybe Five didn’t run this plan by Klaus first because Klaus is shocked but Five doesn’t even blink because - Dad knows. Dad is going to want to train Klaus further and experiment with his powers and if that fucking mausoleum is any indication then Reggie has no idea how Klaus’s powers work or how to train them without hurting Klaus. And also Five has spent years now being technically out from under his dad’s thumb, there’s no way he’s sliding back under it

maybe luther protests, but Five is just like “Look, if Dad makes Klaus make me corporeal in his vicinity i’m going to snap his neck simple as that. I’m a vengeful ass ghost, okay? What’re you gonna do about it? Kill me twice?”

and they’re closer than in the original timeline. Five has floated through the halls and seen every instance of them being sad and made Klaus intervene - everyone in this room has had Klaus pull them close and hug them or listen to their problems or give them company or provide them with random books that Five probably picked out - and and and they all care for each other and know each other more than before. And Five includes Vanya, so she’s always there and Five WILL pull the dead card to keep her there because he wants her there and -

they all agree. Diego is instantly in, he was planning on ditching as soon as he turned 18 anyway. Ben is in, because he’s close with Klaus and with Five. Vanya hesitantly pledges her support, because she’s so tired of Reginald calling her ordinary. Allison shrugs and says she’s in because it’s not like she wasn’t also planning on leaving when she was old enough, okay? Luther is shocked they’re all willing to ditch so easily but… at the same time… Five and Klaus have, over the years, opened his eyes to more than one glaring issue with their father so… tentatively he’s like “okay, i guess someone has to be the leader”

and they gather what they can, and they leave, they leave reginald a note which basically lets him know they’re leaving willingly and not to look for them or anything since they’re almost 18 anyway etc etc. and they go out into the world

they get jobs! they support each other! and maybe the shitty apartments that are all they can afford are too small for 8 people to share, but at least rent goes 7 ways (and it’s not like Five eats or anything) and they can shove blankets and pillows on the floor in front of their shitty TV and eat their shitty pizza and laugh as they watch all the movies they were never allowed back home

Luther gets a job as a mechanic, because he’s always been good at things like that. He remembers wanting to be an astronaut as a kid. He remembers studying rocket ships with wide eyes and putting together model planes and he’s good with his hands and strong and he’s surprisingly good at it. His boss definitely knows Luther is a runaway but has a soft spot for him and is full of gruff advice and gentle praise that Luther flourishes under.

Diego decides to try for the academy with the support of his siblings behind him, and he doesn’t drop out. He meets Eudora and the others all tease him about it. There has been at least one occasion that Five followed him to the academy without Diego’s know how and then told Klaus all about Diego’s awkward flirting

Allison gets into the theater scene and tries out for parts that she gets without even rumoring anyone. Because at the end of the day, she’s good - she’s a good actor. She ends up getting some small parts in movies as well, and the others proudly go see her in theaters and have any movie with her as even a background character in a place of pride on their shelves.

Klaus isn’t ambitious like the rest of the siblings, but he ends up working in a yarn shop run by several old ladies who he’s pretty sure adopted him the moment he said about not having parents in the interview. They teach him know to knit and let him do it between customers at the register. Five likes to run around the yarn shop and try bat balls of yarn off the counters like an asshole cat in between suggesting patterns and critiquing Klaus’s yarn choices. Eventually, Klaus sets up Five with his own set of knitting needles and the old ladies look at the needles clacking and apparently knitting by themselves and Klaus ends up telling them about his dead 15 yr old brother because I mean. He’s from the Umbrella Academy it’s not exactly like he’s an unknown with his powers, and that means that the old ladies absolutely fuss over this child ghost and help him with his technique

(that year, all of his siblings receive knitted socks and hats and scarves from Five on their shared birthday and Five is so pleased to be able to contribute something to the family again, even if they’re all still at a loss of what to give their ghostly brother)

Ben ends up going to college and going on to medical school because he deserves it and he gets scholarships to help out but all of the siblings chip in to put the siblings who want to through school, and Ben gets a part time job as a barista or something between his demanding classes but at the end of the day he wants to help people (he doesn’t want to be useless, like he was the day that Five died, wants to be able to save lives instead of just taking them - because the Horror doesn’t define who he is, and it never has)

Vanya goes to school as well!! She’s a violin prodigy! and they leave without telling their dad beforehand so she goes to get her pills refilled only to find out that they don’t have these pills actually what the fuck are they I’m assuming they’re special and Reginald supplied them somehow idk, and it’s not like the family can afford medication in THIS economy anyway so maybe she just stops taking them and hopes she can handle her anxiety without

and that’s how they find out Vanya has powers oops

OH you know what Vanya absolutely trains her powers with Five and Klaus making him corporeal because, as Five so eloquently puts it when they drive into the countryside, “What’s she gonna do? Kill me twice? as if” and that’s how Vanya learns how to control her powers and she still gets to go to school and she gets to join the orchestra and be first chair because fuck it she’s a goddamn prodigy and passionate about her craft and i love her, she deserved the world

they all grow and they change and they stick together as well as they can with all their varying schedules. they grow, except for Five who is still fifteen years old and who managed to save his family at the cost of his own life.

But it’s okay. He hands Luther wrenches at his work and freaks out the other mechanics. He talks to ghosts for Diego so that Klaus doesn’t have to (because Klaus has always has a weaker stomach for blood and things than Five, and Five is dead he can see ghosts too that’s a thing). He haunts Allison’s sets until she puts her hands on her hips and scolds him about messing with her co-workers. He knits in Klaus’s shops and shows off socks and scarves to little old ladies with a pride he isn’t sure what to do with. He helps Ben study by holding up flashcards even if he isn’t visible. He goes to all of Vanya’s rehearsals and prods at the harps and pianos with curious ghostly fingers.

He’s a constant presence in their lives, and they love him. And he loves them.

Five doesn’t leave. Ben lives. Five dies. Everything changes, but the one thing that will never change is that they are a family. No matter what, they have each other - in life and in death.

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merllis · 4 years

Text

Zuko sees spirits or Zuko/Yue/Sokka for the win

If I made one of the ATLA prompt fics into a real fic, which would you want it to be?

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merllis · 4 years

Text

In my mind Sasuke then proceeds to rip that ukulele off Kakashi, cheerily plays 'no fucks left to give’ and then smashes the instrument to pieces.

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youtube

One time Sasuke walked in Kakashi's office as he was holding a ukulele. Sasuke asked him what that was about and Kakashi's says:"I heard it sometimes is better to Express yourself in a song. So Sasuke, this is for you.." he starts playing and it sounds decent until the song text comes:"I hope you dieee~. I wish you get hit by a bus. You're so much effort and only half as hot."

Sasuke had to stand there for four minutes listening to Kakashi's song.

#ukulele's are amazing

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merllis · 4 years

Text

Mock Trail

Nothing was better than a quiet Saturday afternoon wasted by watching Netflix with freshly made popcorn on your lap. My head was leaning on Itachi’s chest and damn was I glad he was wasting his Saturday the same way as I did. I snuggled closer to him. Damn, I wished time could stop for a second.

“Bye guys, see ya tonight-”

“Hold up” I felt Itachi push me away. Damn it, I jinxed the moment!

“Where are you going?”

Izuna looked at me before looking back at Itachi.

“Tennis court…” He said.

“And you are taking my car?” Itachi stated, seeing his car keys in Izuna’s hand.

“Yes, but you said as long as mine is in the garage, I could use yours” Izuna looked a bit annoyed by whatever Itachi was trying to get to.

“I did, but I expect you to be respectful towards my stuff and careful” Itachi stood up from the couch and I felt like I needed to keep my guard up and jump in when they would rip each other’s clothes off, but thinking of that idea actually sounded more interesting than watching Orange is the New Black for the fourth time.

“Wow, wow, wow…I am” Izuna said, resting one hand on his hip. OOOH, the bitch mode was turned on.

“Somebody who would have been careful wouldn’t have scratched my car”

“Scratched?!” Izuna scoffed, “It had nothing wrong with it when I drove it home from the mall” Itachi grabbed Izuna’s face and looked him right in the eye, even going so far as to point a small light at each eye.

“You want me to send you to an eye doctor?” He cocked his head and damn did he sound like a first class bitch.

“My eyes are fine! Unlike your split ends” Izuna pointed at Itachi’s hair.

“Ooohh, no, he, didn’t” I threw a piece of popcorn up, catching it in my mouth while the argument got more and more heated.

“Hey…hey!” Shisui came in between them and I rolled my eyes. I guess the show was over.

“What’s up?” Madara asked leaning against the door frame. Both of them started explaining the situation. “Shut up!” Madara regretted ever asking.

“Izuna scratched niisan’s…Niisan-” I lost my shit to that joke. I laughed so hard for a minute before the living room was dead quiet.

“I didn’t scratch it!” Izuna frowned at Itachi.

“So the car grew some nails and scratched itself!”

“SCIENCE!” Izuna threw his hands in the air.

“It is really isn’t…” I was the only one to speak up, “Just admit you caused the scratch and get it over with”

“Hey, what if he really didn’t?” Madara suggested

“This calls for one thing” Shisui smiled when he looked at Madara.

“Fight to the death!” Madara suddenly seemed excited

“No! We agreed we don’t do that because it will give Sasuke an unfair advantage” Shisui said, “I was going to say a mock trial!”

“Fine!” Izuna said.

“Fine!” Itachi said, “I will take first pick, Sasuke!”

“You choose me to represent you?! Do you finally trust me that much?!” I felt honoured.

“No, I know you have seen 5 seasons of Suits, so I am trusting your Netflix abilities on this” Itachi was brutally honest.

“…I’ll take it” I said.

“Then I will call my lawyer!” Izuna grabbed his phone.

“You have an hour to prepare your cases” Shisui stated.

Oxoxoxxo

“Izuna, where is your lawyer? Will you be representing yourself?” Shisui asked, sitting on a stool behind a cupboard…yes…my family is weird. We take mock trials very seriously.

“He will be here any minute now, said lawyer had a game around noon” Izuna explained, giving me glare.

“If your lawyer isn’t here in five minutes then-” The doorbell rung and I shared a look with Itachi.

“Your hair looks nice” Itachi ran his fingers through my hair.

“Niisan! I am a lawyer now” I pouted slightly.

“My lawyer arrived!” My eyes widened seeing Izuna drag Naruto through the door.

“Son of a bitch” I hissed.

“If Itachi is gonna put Sasuke against me, then I am gonna put Naruto against Sasuke!” Izuna sat down on the couch and pulled Naruto with him. “Why are you wet?”

“Because I took a shower after my game”

“Did you win?” Shisui asked genuinely interested.

“Yeah, dattebayo!” Shisui high fived him, “Next week, semi-finals”

“Of all of the idiots to choose…” Itachi shook his head by the sight of Naruto. “You can win this, right?”

“I didn’t watch five seasons of Suits for nothing” I said, “I did it for entertainment”

“So, this is the trial about the scratched car; Itachi claims Izuna had scratched his car and Izuna denies, whomever is on the stand is under oath” Shisui grabbed the album of embarrassment. AKA the photo album with all our baby nudes in them. “I am the judge, Madara is typing everything down, Naruto is Izuna’s lawyer, Sasuke is Itachi’s, who wants to begin with their opening statement?”

“I wil!” I stood up from behind the coffee table.

“You dressed up for this?!” Naruto looked surprised.

“Naruto, shut the fuck up” Shisui said from behind the cupboard.

“We take mock trials very seriously” Izuna whispered.

“I should have known this is one of the Uchiha things you guys do…I gotta get used to this-”

“You don’t, you can leave, Izuna, I will pay a real lawyer if you just let that blondie leave”

“Never, he bugs you and that is why he is my lawyer!” Izuna wrapped both arms around Naruto and damn did I want to break his arms.

“Order in the court!” Shisui’s plastic hammer made a squeaky noise when he hit it on the cupboard.

“Sasuke” Shisui made a sign with his hand for me to begin.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury-”

“Sasuke there is no jury, there is only me” Shisui interrupted me.

“Your honour” I quickly changed my words, “Are we really going to waste our Saturday giving a guilty man a chance to abuse our justice system? We have come to know Izuna as a rather big imbecile, there is even a big change he scratched the car himself and forgot about it, what I am trying to say is that…Izuna is guilty, if he wasn’t…why would he be trying to piss my client off by making Naruto his lawyer? Someone we all know is not on my client’s best side, Izuna, I speak for all of us when I say…just tell the truth and don’t make it worse on yourself”

“Powerful statement” Shisui said before looking at Naruto, “Naruto?”

“Your honour, my client is young, but he is not reckless, unlike the opposing counsel-”

“Objection, he is jumping to conclusions” I said, standing up.

“He is right” Shisui said looking at Naruto.

“Owh Sasuke, I was getting to that” Naruto walked towards his bag and grabbed a file. “My client has his driver’s license since he was nineteen. He is twenty-one now and has never once broken a traffic law or claimed money from the insurance company. As for Itachi… “He opened the file, “Parking tickets, driving through red lights, you hit your car three times on the same pole and you bumped against a parked car not once, not twice, but six times” he closed it before throwing it on the coffee table. “It appears to me Itachi scratched the car and is trying to push the blame to my client, now, I am not saying that Mr Uchiha is doing this out of embarrassment or out of mere hatred for his only two years younger brother…but I know…my client is willing to settle…for 90”

“90 bucks?” I looked at Izuna.

“90 thousand, dattebayo” Naruto said.

“What?!” Both Itachi and I said. I looked through the file Naruto had put on our table.

“Hey…law school is very expensive” Naruto had a cocky smile before sitting down.

“Objection!” I stood up, “There are legitimate police records here, he can’t possibly have required this information in a legal way and therefore counts as invalid”

“Who says I got them illegally? A little birdy dropped them on my doorstep” Naruto said.

“I’ll allow it” Shisui said.

“Son of a bitch…” I heard Itachi hiss. He grabbed his phone.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Calling a real lawyer!” He shouted, I slapped the phone out of his hands.

“Oh, it is war!” I shouted.

“I call to the stand! Uchiha Izuna!” I said. Izuna stood up and sat on the ground next to the stool. “Yeah, yeah I swear on my naked baby pics I will tell the truth and nothing but the truth” Izuna put one hand on the album.

“Izuna, did you borrow my client’s car while yours was in the garage?”

“Yes” Izuna said.

“And is it true that your car got in the garage because there was something wrong with the battery?”

“Yes”

“Then tell me…what exactly happened to the battery?”

“It broke”

“How? And let me remind you…you are under oath” Izuna glared at me before rolling his eyes.

“Because it was drained, dude, I am not a technician” Izuna hissed.

“The battery drained, how? Did you keep the lights of the car on for the entire weekend even though Itachi told you the lights of your car were on, but you…forgot about it?”

“…Yes…”

“You are quite chaotic, Izuna, your room is, your car is…your head is, what makes you think that you didn’t do it? Are you afraid to get in trouble? After everything Itachi has done for you don’t you think…deep inside…you know…it was you-”

“Objection, he is trying to guilt trip my client” Naruto stood up.

“I was merely questioning his mental state”

“You weren’t questioning, you were accusing, his mental state can only be evaluated by a profession AKA my dad!”

“He is right” Shisui said. I sighed.

“Last question, do you think Itachi scratched his own car just to scold you?”

“No, but-”

“It was a yes or no question, I don’t need anything else, no more questions” I sat down. Now it was Naruto’s turn.

“Izuna, when was the last time you borrowed the car?” Naruto asked.

“Yesterday, to go to the mall” Izuna answered.

“When you parked the car, did you see a scratch?”

“No”

“After?”

“I don’t recall…”

“Objection-”

“On what ground?!” Naruto turned around to look at me

“I don’t recall is the answer of a guilty person!” I sat back down.

“Denied, continue Naruto” Shisui said.

“When the car was in the garage, did you…or did you not…scratch it?” Naruto asked.

“I didn’t” Izuna said.

“See…he is innocent, let’s stop blaming the little man for our own mistakes” He looked at Itachi, “No further questions”

“Alright…nice ass-essment of the case,” I clear my throat, “My client is a penny” I stated, getting up from behind the coffee table.

“Why is that?” Shisui asked.

“Because he is…in a cent” I said and I swear I heard a grasshopper in the room. I cleared my throat .”I like to call Itachi on the stand” Niisan got up and sat next to the cupboard, doing the same oath as Izuna.

“Niisan, when was the last time you drove your nisan?” I chuckled at my joke again.

“A few days ago” Itachi said.

“Was there a scratch?” I asked.

“No”

“So, if that scratch came between yesterday and today, and you didn’t drive the car…that means somebody else has, meaning the scratch was not made by my client, no further questions, your honour” I sat back down when Naruto got up.

“Itachi…Itachi…” Naruto walked around the living room, “Is is true you never really liked Izuna-”

“Objection, that is personal” I said.

“Sasuke is right” Shisui said.

“Let me rephrase, Itachi, have you ever tried pushing the blame to somebody else before? And I want you to think deeply…let me remind you…you are under oath”

“Probably, I am not sure-”

“You are not sure, like you are not sure about scratching the car-”

“Objection, he is personally attacking my client” I said.

“I was merely suggesting…” Naruto said.

“Be nicer” Shisui said.

“Itachi, you might not have been driving the car…but what is stopping you from scratching it with a key…or…another car? Say there is an emergency at the hospital…whose car did you take?”

“Madara’s”

“Owh, the other car in the garage, that garage…it is pretty small to fit two cars, one being yours…the other being Madara’s” Naruto remained quiet, “For somebody who can’t park for shit, that could have some troubles…maybe…scratching a car?”

“Objection, if nii-san would even have driven Madara’s car, it would mean Madara’s car was scratched too”

“It would be…but Madara’s car is pretty new…and you know what new cars have? Self-healing car paint uses sunlight to repair scrapes”

“I call bullshit!” I said

“The self-healing coating uses chitosan which is derived from chitin, the main component of the exoskeleton of creatures such as shrimp, crab, lobster, the chitosan is chemically incorporated into traditional polymer materials, such as the ones used in the outer coatings to protect the paint on cars-”

“WHATEVER! Magical car paint, however, if Madara’s car was parked in the garage there ain’t no uv-light!”

“Which brings me to my last question, where is Madara’s car now?”

“I don’t know, it was in the garage when I came back from work in the morning” Itachi said.

“I parked it outside after doing shopping with Shisui” Madara answered.

“Let the record know it is 25 degrees celcius outside…full sunshine”

“These are just assumptions, my client is not agreeing to any of this!” I said.

“Which is why I call to the stand…Sasuke”

“I am the lawyer!” I protested.

“I’ll allow it” Shisui said, leaning his elbows on the cupboard. I sighed sitting on the place Itachi sat a second ago. I did the same oath before folding my arms.

“Sasuke, is it true you find me not only cute but…hella cute?”

“Objection, this is off topic” I said.

“I’ll allow it” Shisui looked down at me with a smile on his face, I rolled my eyes.

“You are…hella…cute” I muttered.

“Aww thank you~” Naruto smiled, “Sasuke, was I your first real kiss? Who is not related to you” I looked at Shisui, who didn’t say anything.

“Yes…” I sighed.

“Is it true I am the best kiss you ever had?”

“False, Izuna is a good kisser” Naruto pouted by my words.

“Is it true you have no plans on Sunday?”

“I have plans-”

“Let the record know, watching netflix all day is not considered as plans”

“Alright…I don’t have plans” I said.

“Is there a possibility you would like to go to the lake with me?”

“Objection!” Itachi got up.

“You don’t get to say that” Shisui said, indicating Itachi to sit back down.

“Maybe…” I answered.

“Did you really want to get in professor Sunrays pants or was it just a joke?” Naruto asked.

“I really wanted to get in his pants” I sighed.

“Would you consider Utakata still as an option?”

“Clarify option?” I asked

“Marriage candidate” Naruto stated.

“I don’t believe in marriage, so no” I said.

“Hm…no further questions”

“Fine, I call Naruto on the stand!” I grabbed Naruto by his arm, pulling him to the ground before I got up. He was about to reach for the album, but I kicked him away.

“You lie, I cut your balls, that is your oath” I gave him a dead serious look.

“Naruto, is it true that at some point in your life…you had a sex dream about me?” The room was dead quiet.

“Yes” Naruto admitted, “But I also once dreamt a tiger ate my foot while a half human half dolphin made love to me, dattebayo”

“So would you consider the sex dream I was in hot?” I asked, “I will remind you, you are under oath”

“…Objection-” Naruto bit his lip as he looked at Shisui.

“I’ll allow it” Shisui said.

“Well?” I asked him

“It was pretty hot” Naruto answered.

“How was I? Was I riding you, doing you, were you doing me?-”

“You were dressed in a Donkey Kong costume and you said I should call you Donkey DingDong”

“And that was hot?!” Madara bursted out laughing.

“…Don’t judge me…” Naruto hid his face behind his hands.

“Next question” I put my fingers together, “Stop me when I am about right” I said separating my fingers, indicating how big his dick is. “No…no way…really?…Oh my God” I looked at Naruto and back at my fingers before nodding.

“Impressive…last question” I cleared my throat ,”Will you pick me up on Sunday?”

“Yeah, dattebayo”

“No further questions” I said, sitting back down behind the coffee table.

“Hey guys…if my car is parked outside…where is Shisui’s car parked?” Madara asked, looking at the typed up conversation.

“I parked it…in the…garage…” Shisui said, causing everybody to freeze.

“When?” I was the only one to ask.

“….After we came back from shopping…” Shisui seemed to realize the same thing we all realized.

“Right before Itachi woke up and saw the scratch on the car…”I narrowed my eyes.

“There small chance…it might have been me…” Shisui muttered.

“GOD DAMN IT, SHISUI!” Everybody yelled.

( SPECIAL THANKS TO @failureoftheyear)

#sasuke #text #tiny ficlet #sasuke and itachi being adorable together #before izuna ruins it #itachi pets sasuke's hair #naruto being thirsty for sasuke

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