meth-keegan
meth-keegan
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meth-keegan · 9 months ago
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My tattoo artist told me his teenage son came out to him as trans by giving him a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"
"That's cute," I said.
"It was NOT cute!" he snapped. "I thought he was pregnant."
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meth-keegan · 1 year ago
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“Raise your arms higher.” Your Orc Boyfriend commanded.
You watched, book open on your lap, as your Orc and a few of his others watched your toddler clutch at a small wooden sword. Sitting a little further away from them and on the ground, you prepared yourself to run over and save the poor boy.
The child you found a few years ago had grown to be healthy. No thanks to the other Orcs around him, who encouraged his rough housing and boisterousness. When the boy came to be with you, he would sit serenely with you as you read to him, asking questions whenever he had any. And when the day was done, he would usually collapse into bed, a sleepy smile adorning his face.
“I want to use a sword.” The boy told you one day while you read him a story about Knights.
“You don’t need to use a sword,” you told him, ruffling his hair. “Your father will keep you safe.”
“He says that powerful men of any species should protect the women.” Your toddler sat up on your bed. “I want to protect you, Mama.”
You sighed, “that’s very sweet of you, but I don’t know honey-pie, you’re not like the others here…”
“What’s this?” Entering your tent, your Orc Boyfriend asked.
“Papa!” Your toddler leapt off the bed and rushed up to him. “Can you teach me how to use a sword?”
Before you could express your disapproval, a giant grin spread across your Orc’s face. “Yes, of course, my boy!” Picking up your toddler, he tosses him up in the air. “Didn’t I tell you?” Your Orc Boyfriend beamed at you. “He’s going to grow to be a powerful warrior!”
How could you shoot down their excitement? And so here you were now. Sat outside, making sure your poor child didn’t hurt himself.
The child strained, his face scrunched up in determination. His arms trembled, his little hands wrapped around the handle of the sword, gripping onto it like his life depended on it.
You did not know where the sword had come from. A part of you suspected your Orc made it in anticipation that your son might want to train one day.
Everyone held their breath in suspense. You gripped onto the book, leaning forward, prepared to run and save the toddler. And then…
The boy struck the sword high above his head. You and the Orcs all erupted with cheers. “Go on, boy!” Your Orc bellowed.
Your whole body relaxed, you exhaled an unsteady breath. Your toddler dropped the small sword and joined in with the celebrations alongside the other Orcs, who lifted him in the air and began chanting something in the Orc tongue.
Your boyfriend spotted your relieved expression and came over. Kneeling down in front of you, “he was fine, you saw that.” He said, softly.
“I know…” you said. “He’s just a kid. Most toddlers can’t even speak in full sentences.”
“No thanks to you reading from him every day.” He smiled. “He’s a smart boy. We will be careful with him. We are not unaware that he is human, like you. But I have never hurt you, have I?” Taking your hand, he squeezed it reassuringly.
Meeting his gaze, you gave a small smile. Squeezing his hand back, both of you watched as your son swung his sword, a huge grin across his face.
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meth-keegan · 1 year ago
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“What happened to you?!”
Your Orc Boyfriend sat by the tribe healer. Gashes that started at his forehead and go across his face. Blood dripped down and onto his chest, which was bruised and transitioning into a purple hue in certain areas.
You went to rush over, to cup his face, examine him from head to toe, but the healer held a hand out to you. “I know it looks serious,” he said, “but they’re surface level.”
As you opened your mouth to protest, your Orc Boyfriend grunted, “I’ll be fine, love.” He gave you a pained smile. Even as his face oozed with blood, he still tried to reassure you. “I’ll come see you in a minute.”
He loved this about you. Everything was so different now that you were around. Before you and your Orc got together, when Orcs returned injured, they were told to endure it from their others. No sympathy given. Healers would provide Orcs with a pack of ice in a leather sack and send them on their way.
It started when one day, your Orc came back to camp with a bloody nose. You had instantly run over, "Oh my God, are you okay?!" Everyone had stared, startled by your reaction. But when you started tending to your partner's wounds, the camp seemed to follow your lead.
Orcs were now afforded more luxuries than before, being fed soup if they were immobilised temporarily or being washed by someone they were close to when they couldn't reach certain areas.
But your Orc Boyfriend, always did his best to come back intact. Despite the sweetness of your concern, he couldn't bear witnessing your distress over his injuries. 
This time, he was too careless. 
At that sight of your reluctant scowl, your Orc Boyfriend’s heart ached. He wished he had been more careful.
But you turned away and went back to your shared tent. 
He came in later, his face lined with stitches and his chest wrapped up with cloth. Your Orc groaned as he laid in bed beside you, scrunching his face up in pain. 
Propping yourself up on your elbows, you looked him over. “What happened?” Your voice was muted, small.
“Highway men.” He said.
They had jumped him while he was trying to find his hunting party. Your Orc had got separated when he’d tried to go after a stag. He emerged out onto a popular path taken by humans, looking around for his prey.
But a second was all it took for the humans to attack him.
The men were more vicious that most humans he’d fought, with weapons imbued with some kind of magical properties. One human delivered such a powerful blow to his chest that he thought his ribs had broken.
Your Orc got out by the skin of his tusks, and that was only thanks to another Orc finding him and helping him beat the snot out of the Highwaymen. 
You bit your lip at that and cast a look down at his chest. It had turned black now.
“It’ll heal.” He assured you. “It’ll take more than a few humans to kill me. Don’t worry.” Your Orc shifted and pulled something out from his belt pocket. “Here, for you.”
You gasped. Clutched between your Orc’s meaty green fingers was a small, golden band. A red ruby sat on top of the gold, catching in the dim candlelight. “We took their plunders, this was among it… And I thought of you.”
At your hesitation, your Orc offered it, “I promise I’ll be more careful when I go out in the next few weeks. See this as a pledge of that.” 
Biting your lip, you sighed. Your eyes traced the stitches on his face. You wanted to run your fingers across them, hoping that your touch could heal them. 
Taking the ring, you kissed the ruby. “You promise?” holding the ring to his lips.
Your Orc smiled and kissed it. “I swear on my life.”
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meth-keegan · 2 years ago
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Siobhan Thompson is so funny. She’s a British American comedian. She used to be an archeologist. She can translate Latin in seconds. She can’t go four sentences without saying fuck. She’s a history buff. She dropped out of high school. She’s a wordsmith. She’s never once made a character I can feel normal about. She’s a dyslexic writer. She and Ally are the only Intrepid Hero’s who’ve never DMd a dnd campaign. <3 her
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meth-keegan · 2 years ago
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I've never made a character ai so I have no idea if I did this right but
Here it is!
Koby's character ai chat
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meth-keegan · 2 years ago
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we’re all a l o n e, no chaperone can get our number the world’s in s l u m b e r let’s misbehave
there’s something w i l d about you child that’s so contagious let’s be o u t r a g e o u s let’s misbehave
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meth-keegan · 2 years ago
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Euphoria
S02E01
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meth-keegan · 3 years ago
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A Slasher Dating Simulator
yo slasherfuckers! you can check out Beta version with Jason and support creators
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meth-keegan · 3 years ago
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When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.
In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.
And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.
And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.
And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.
And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.
And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.
And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.
And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.
-16 year old girl
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meth-keegan · 3 years ago
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sivi met his granddaughter tonight
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he did not like it
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meth-keegan · 3 years ago
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Devin Elle Kurtz on Instagram
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meth-keegan · 3 years ago
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EUPHORIA Season 2, Episode 8
+ bonus:
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meth-keegan · 3 years ago
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Ash sacrificed himself because he didn't want to live without Fez. But also, Fez always had Lexi on speaker when talking about their likes, dislikes, problems, leaning on each other, and talking about their future (which had many things in common). Ash listened to glimpses of their conversations and saw the unique connection between them. For the first time his brother was not talking about drugs, or business, or work, but about a future outside of this. For the last time Ash wanted to do something for him, a thank you for all the sacrifices Fez had taken for him. He sacrificed himself because he wanted something more for Fez, he wanted that future for his brother. Him living in a beautiful farm with Lexi and three gorgeous girls. Him living a happy meaningful life, with no worries, even if it is without him.
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meth-keegan · 3 years ago
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Fez and Lexi were not subtle at all about their flirting! Straight to the point. They literally said to each other "we are getting married and having 3 girls".
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meth-keegan · 3 years ago
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no bc in my head fez and lexi are already 13 yrs together and 8 yrs married and they got married right after lexi finished college and after fez found a new way to earn money legally. they have 3 kids, 2 girls and one boy. rue visits thrice a year when she can and ash is their neighbor because lexi forced him to be near them since he’s family. maddy (and maybe cassie) borrows lexi on some saturdays so they can spend a good girls day off<33 that’s it they grow old together
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meth-keegan · 3 years ago
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I like to think after “that” call, Lexi called Maddy (since she only feels comfortable talking this with her) and gushed to her about Fez. I like to think that Maddy was a good hype woman for Lexi. I love the idea of them being great friends who support and help one another (especially after what we have seen in episode 7)
Lexi Howard and Maddy Perez supremacy💕✨💕
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meth-keegan · 3 years ago
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