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The Bank - Treatment
LOGLINE:
Bill Westcott an aged and weather outlaw in the old west dares to make one last heist, things go south and he is trapped in the bank, with limited time, resources and an old enemy or should I say enemies, circling like vultures.
CHARACTER BIO-
William (Bill) Westcott - protagonist
A 34 yr old grizzled veteran of the American civil war (Union) ravaged by his endless search for something better. Tall and well built Bill is often one of the strongest in the room, with a unkept beard and long swept back hair Bill is considered a handsome man, this falls into place with his wit and laid back charm. Before the war he promised his beloved Molly that he would find a better way for them, some place they can grow old together without any fears and enough money to live comfortably. During the war he witnessed many atrocities and the memories of taking another mans life have left him scared. After the war he returned to find Molly is gone but has left a child behind, A child conceived before Bill left his Daughter. As his last promise was to his Molly he now does the same for his Daughter Abigail and tries to give her a better life than he had, however this is the old west and its a lawless time. Bill finds himself becoming a thief and an outlaw, never killing but stealing anything he can to get money for Abigail, making many enemies along the way.
Theodore O’didley - Antagonist 1
A 37 yr old veteran of the American civil war also (Confederate). A tall thin snake like figure, gaunt and pale Theodore, more commonly referred to as Theo, nasty man, cruel and calculating, he enjoys taking a mans life and is still bitter that the confederates lost the war. He thrives in the lawless time and does as he pleases. He is wanted in many states for murder, living in saloons for a number of weeks on end till someone gets shot, Theo is always looking for trouble. The most intelligent of the family Theodore comes up with the plans whenever a score is concerned, teaching his younger brothers, mainly Roderick, how to survive in the old west. A lust for gold, woman and trouble is all he’s after any money stolen is wasted. A bitter enemy of Bill’s Theodore is determined to get the better of him one way or another.
Roderick O’didley - Antagonist 2
A 18 yr old wild animal, the last of the litter and the least intelligent, Roderick or Roddy as he’s more commonly referred to as is a scrawny, pale rat like figure. Always dirty with clothes two sizes two big he really is like an animal. Wanted in numerous states for murder, theft and for wanting the tender love of an animal, He isn’t much liked in the world. The least intelligent of the O’didley clan and between him and Theo, he sticks out, often getting over excited when his brother is in charge, he lets his anger get the better of him too leading to situations blown out of control, a over fondness for his ‘moma’ leads to trouble too, because if anyone says anything bad about his ‘moma’ their a dead man.
Tom, The cashier - Sidekick/Guardian
A 18 yr old boy from the local town, Toms never left his little village getting a job at the local bank due to recommendation from his help around town. Hard working Tom is no push over, He’s had few people pick a fight with him before and he’s calmly dealt with them. Tall and thin but with a strong arm on him, he never shys away from work. He has a good heart and isn’t one to bed led a stray.
Narrative and page outline
Page 1 - Exist
We enter the scene, a bank just far enough away from a small town in the old west, the windows have been shot in, bullet holes pierce every surface, bar too the right of the contain a door which is wide open, behind the counter a young cashier is holding a shaking woman both in cover for their lives, besides them lays a body of what used to be the other cashier. slumped up against the front desk is Bill Westcott. Westcott is inspecting his open pocket watch, admiring with despair in his eyes the image of a woman. He questions the young cashier is there any where the cashier and the young woman can get to safety, The cashier responds with the room in the back. Noises and taunting can be heard from outside, two strangers are about to make their way in.
Reason
Page 2 - Inciting Incident
The two strangers make their way into the bank, guns drawn Theo taunts Bill and sends Roderick outside to keep an eye out for the law. He questions Bill and when Bill is sarcastic he kicks him to the floor.
Page 3 - Midpoint
Theo demand to know where the loot is, Bill sarcastically responds further. Theo makes his way stuffing the loot in separate bags, he hands two to Roderick and sends him out to the horses to load the loot. When Theo goes to grab another bag he hears a noise from the back, he immediately questions Bill as to what the noise was. He asks if theres another cashier, and then when Bill quickly shoots down the idea that someone is back there Theo realises there’s a woman hiding. Theo jokes and mocks Bill about his sweet spot for women, he then remarks that he should let Roderick have his way with her. Bill tries to stop him but Theo kicks him off. Noises and a loud clank can be heard from the back, Roderick re-enters the bank asking where Theo is.
Page 4 - Climax
Theo and Tom the cashier come from the back, Tom has a gun drawn to the back of Theo’s head, Roderick freaks out and begins to panic demanding Tom drop his gun, Tom exclaims for the two to get out and be grateful their leaving with their lives. Roderick has none of it, while Bill tries to calm them both down and tells Tom to leave it don’t get wrapped up in all of this. Roderick goes to shoot Tom and Bill draws a gun hidden behind him and shoots Roderick clean in the head. Theo Falls to the floor in shock, unable to speak for the first time in his life.
Page 5 - Exists but changed
Roderick is shot dead and Theodore can’t do nothing about it. Realising that he probably doesn’t have long Bill questions Theo about his life, what the point of it was, why was he the way he was. The cashier explains he will let Bill go since he saved his life and he realises that Bill never had any intention of shooting him he just wanted the money. Bill again realising he hasn’t got long explains how if he hasn’t got long left all he wants to see if Theo hang.
The world in which Bill lives in has changed drastically, he’s now in a life or death situation where he is more likely to be done for however two that have been not only a scourge on him but the world will both be gone soon and he gets to see that, a somewhat poetic justice.
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Reflection
To reflect upon this unit I must first look at the task that was given to me, I was told that I would be required to write in correct format, grammar and overall presentation a short script no longer or shorter than five pages, as this would translate to roughly five minutes. In doing this brief I encountered challenges and found aspects that were fun. The work process for this unit has been an interesting one, what has felt like a relaxed and simple flow of work has been rather helpful, as other units have been extremely stressful this unit has been a nice one to have. Because of personal reasons and other units however I feel I haven’t put as much into this unit at the start, and in more later weeks really got involved, something I regret doing as this has been creatively a fun and interesting unit, however if I were to do it again I would approach things differently submitting more drafts before required to get a better understanding of what areas I am doing well in and what areas could be improved within my script. I know the presentation and format was an issue so I fixed it. I have never written a script before, or at least one to exact specifications, any I’ve done in the past have been rough notes jotted down sloppily. This was my first challenge to transform an idea into a script, something that is more of directorial piece not to be confused with a story. My second challenge was fitting it into five pages, something I discovered through multiple drafts was very hard to do without either over simplifying a story or creating something basic. Trying to get somewhat of a message across was tricky for me, it took me multiple drafts to size down the story and break it into chunks. In the end using each page as a rough guide as to how to structure it. Breaking down the beginning trying to follow somewhat of a story arc. I feel I have however achieved this, I feel that I have managed to create a beginning, establishing the scene and world however small it may be, creating a dilemma, challenging the character with a confrontation, then creating tension and showing character emotion. Bringing to life the main protagonist was triky as I didn’t want to create just a stereo typical hero, I wanted to create someone who the audience will be questioning are they a good guy or not, someone you could look deeply at. I believe I have almost achieved this, creating a character that can be likeable and quick witted yet still carry a serious tone when needed. The only reason for having fully achieved this would be the number of pages, this left me not fully able to explore this character and add more throughout the script. Overall I feel I have produced something better than I thought I would’ve, something that however short it may be packs in challenging characters, emotions and a unique setting and scenario that isn’t really the norm. I would like to do more units like this as it felt like a breath of fresh air and something that I would try and implement within future work.
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Draft 3 idea
A bloodied pocket watch sits in the palm of his hand, he opens it to look upon a photograph of a young woman. His other hand is clenched over his stomach to cover an entry wound of a bullet.
A man stands over the wounded individual with a rifle in his hands.
q
Theodore -
“Realise time is running low?”
Westcott -
“...We always been living on borrowed time...nothin' new there.”
Theodore -
“So he didn't get a shot on you huh? How'd you get in that there state then? You trip 'n' fall over?”
Another man follows close behind and sniggers at the previous comment.
Roderick -
“You sure I didn't get ya good Westcott?”
Westcott -
“You a real funny pair, should've known better than trusting a couple of inbred moonshiners...”
Roderick -
“Who you callin' inbred?!”
Theodore turns to Roderick and point at the door.
Theodore -
“Keep an eye out for the law will ya Rod?!”
Roderick -
“I don't like no son' bitch talkin' to me like that...”
Theodore -
“Law is more important than a dumb insult... Now get!”
Roderick storms back off towards the front door.
Theodore -
“Ain't no need getting riled up lil' Billy. All you got there is a flesh wound after all. But less you start, ugh... cooperating, that there nip gonna' be a real problem in a short while.”
Westcott -
“Alright Theo, then what the hell do you suppose I do about it?”
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New beginning
After doing a number of drafts I have decided that because of both length and structure I will be going with my second initial idea/version of ‘The Bank’. This version throws us in the deep end to start with, opening the scene with Westcott holding the time piece in his hand and questioning too himself whats went wrong, while looking at an image of a woman within the time piece. I thought this would be somewhat of a better start what with doing my drafts as it builds the tension quicker and the image of the woman ads a more human element to Westcott, making the audience question his character from the get go.
The structure also helps set up the idea that the O’didley brothers aren’t very nice people, that they’re somewhat ruthless and perhaps even like animals atleast with Rodericks case, showing them instead as the initial villians within the tale.
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Second draft
Ext – Sat atop a ridgeline, three antagonists (Bill Westcott, Theodore O'Diddley and Roderick O'Diddley) look upon a lonesome bank sat in a vast dry desert. Westcott; holding a pocket watch in his hand, methodically winds it without looking.
Besides the bank is a heavily guarded wagon being opened as uniformed men transfer what appears to be strongly sealed crates, each containing large amounts of gold and bonds.
Westcott -
“Right, you boys ready?”
Theodore -
“We sure are. We've been ready for weeks.”
Roderick -
“Damn right boys. Let's make us a mint!”
Westcott -
“Slow it down there, breathe and think, cos' if this goes south...”
Westcott pauses and looks away from O'Diddleys and instead at the pocket watch in hand. In the watch is a portrait of a woman.
Westcott -
“Sigh* Well, let's not get into that...”
Theodore -
“Will you quit worrying? You're in good hands. We ever let you down before?”
Roderick -
“Yeah we's ever let you down Billy?”
Westcott -
“Well I did have to carry your ass back in Ashbuck didn't I? Or did that one slip your memory?”
Westcott glares at Roderick.
Westcott -
“And I told you... DON'T call me Billy.”
Roderick looks down at the ground sheepishly while Theodore Looks disappointingly at his brother.
Westcott -
“Right, before we do this, let's go over the plan one last time. We round up the guards, we say we're gonna shoot someone square between the eyes and then... well, people start to fall in line once they know the purely white gates are only a stones throw away. Least that way we don't have to take no lives.”
Theodore -
“What's with you and no killin'?”
Westcott looks over at Theodore.
Theodore -
“Ahh don't gimme' that look, you know what I mean, you always firin' that thing, just never at folks. If you ask me it's quicker, gets the job done and stops any potential heroes from messin' things up.”
Roderick -
“Yeah its easy, Like shooting rats for supper, nothin' wrong with a lil' killing!”
Westcott -
“I got enough on my conscience already, I don't fancy being haunted by the ghosts of folks I killed. I'm a thief boys, not a killer and I ain't starting now. We got enough ridin' on this and I am NOT, gonna' screw this up... and neither are you boys, comprende amigos?”
Theodore -
“We got a reputation to keep up with Bill. We ain't messing this up.”
Wescott notices that the wagons have finished loading their cargo.
Westcott -
“C'mon, looks like they're finishing up. Remember like clock work boys.”
Theodore -
“Like clock work.”
The trio pull up their bandannas too conceal their identities and begin to ride down the ridge line as the heavily armoured wagon finishes up.
Upon arrival, the gang circle the wagon, with the O'Diddleys firing wildly into the air. The wagon has made barely any distance between that and the Bank.
Westcott -
“Gentlemen please if you'd kindly, keep them guns holstered, stick them hands up and don't do nothin' that'll be liable to get you killed.”
Roderick in an overly excited tone laughs maniacally, enjoying the hold up far too much.
Roderick -
“Yeah! get em' up! get em' up boys!.”
Carriage Driver #1 -
“Take it easy fella's, we're cooperating, we're cooperating...”
Theodore -
“That's smart thinking right there. Just as we asked.”
Westcott leans into Theodore.
Westcott- “You good out here?”
Theodore -
“Yeah we got it Bill, you do your thing, we'll do ours. We got you covered.”
Theodore says with a smirk, and without looking at Westcott no less.
Roderick -
“Oh we gonna' livin' like kings soon enough brother!”
Theodore -
“Easy brother... in good time.”
Westcott looks taken back and slightly concerned by the brothers irregular behaviour. He dismounts his horse and makes his way into the bank slowly, gun drawn.
Interior - Small bank, clerks cowering behind counter bars between them and the bank floor, Westcott holds shotgun close range and aims eye down sights ready for anything.
Cashier #1 -
“Oh lord, oh lord, oh lord...”
Westcott -
“C'mon out gentlemen. Those boys on the wagon outside knew the routine, I expect the same from you boys. No sudden movements, no hero stuff... heh, you don't need to be reminded how this is going down. I don't wanna shoot you just as much as you don't wanna get shot. Now I want bonds, gold nickels, dimes, hell even gold teeth if you have em'; in the bag, spread evenly so ma horse and I don't fall off balance.”
Cashier #1 -
“Whatever you say sir, I ain't given no trouble!”
The clerks tentatively starts too reach below the counter, Westcott leans forward to get a better view over the counter and gives a quick whistle. The cashier looks up visibly frightened.
Westcott -
“Easy there son, open the gate and let me through before you go reachin' round places I can't see.”
Cashier #1 –
“N-no, no mister! I wasn't doin' nothing, I was just a getting the keys, see?”
The cashier jangles the keys to show he was being truthful.
Westcott -
“Well explain yourself next time boy you can't afford to make a man worry like that.”
Westcott cocks gun
Westcott -
“And I'm not one who likes to worry.”
Cashier #2 faints and hits the floor.
Westcott -
“Hahaaaa I still got it, now open up!”
Cashier #1 opens up the large iron bar door as Westcott makes his way round behind the counter, gun still pointed at cashier #1.
Westcott -
“Now move it! I ain't got all day!”
The cashier begins to unlock lots of small boxes behind him, each one containing bonds and other notes. Westcott throws down three large sacks and cashier #1 starts to place them inside.
Westcott -
“Evenly now ya hear, saves me the hassle.”
The horses can be heard outside get restless and nay loudly, muffled shouting ensues.
Westcott -
“What the hell are those boys doin'?”
Cashier #1 -
“Ain't got nothin' to do with me mister! Honest!”
Westcott -
“Pfft... I figured that much. You stay right there, I'm gonna' go take a quick peek.”
Westcott approaches the front door casually keeping an eye on cashier #1, gun still drawn.
Westcott -
“Hey what going-”
As Westcott opens the door with his shoulder, gun fire breaks out and his hat is shot off. Startled, he buckles and jumps back through the front door slamming it shut.
Westcott -
“Jesus H shit! Goddammit'! There a back door to this place?!”
Westcott runs back through the steel barred door and confronts the Cashier.
Cashier #1 -
“Y-y-y-yeah through here...”
Bullets crash through the windows as Westcott hits the deck and grabs the Cashier.
Westcott -
“Shit! Get down and stay down you fool!”
Both start to frantically crawl towards the back door, Westcott grabs the one sack the cashier managed to fill up. They both reach the back door as the gun fire ceases. Both get up and timidly walk toward the door. Westcott pushes past the cashier.
Westcott -
“Hold up here! I got the gun, I reckon I oughta' go first. You got a horse or something near by?”
Cashier #1 -
“N-n-n-n-no mister I don't... I usually get a ride from the coach that comes here from town.”
Westcott -
“Well I guess today really ain't your day kid, that's what, bowt' a mile or two away?”
Cashier #1 -
“There abouts...”
Westcott -
“Ah, shit. The whole god damn town probably heard that gun show, least when them law boys turn up they'll treat you to a ride home. But I sure as hell ain't hangin'! You ready there?”
Cashier #1 -
“Ready? Ready for what?”
Westcott -
“3..2..1..”
Westcott bursts the back door open and begins to run but is instantly shot in the gut and drops back. Multiple shots are fired all missing him bar another to the leg.
Westcott -
“AGH! Goddamnit, bastards got me!”
Westcott stumbles and crumbles back inside.
Cashier #1 -
“Lord above!”
The cashier grabs hold of him and drags him over to the wall and slumps him aside.
Cashier #1 -
“Oh lord mister! That looks pretty bad, are you okay?”
Westcott –
“I'm pretty sure I took a bullet in the gut, do I look okay?!”
Cashier #1 -
Sorry mister, I just.. I never seen someone get shot before, at least not this close anyhow.”
Westcott takes his hand off of the wound and examines it.
Westcott – “Yeah definitely in the gut alright... no problem, ugh, I've had more led in me before...”
Cashier #1 -
“Who the heck was firing at us?! The sheriff can't have been here by now. You have any idea mister?”
Westcott takes down his Balaclava and feels for his pistol.
Westcott -
“...I got a hunch, but don't take my word for it, not yet... call me Bill by the way... I think with the current situation I oughta' properly introduce myself...”
At this point there's a sudden slow knock at the front door.
Stranger #1 -
“Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!”
Stranger #2 -
“Hahahaha! we got em' now, we gonna gut you like a piggy too!”
Westcott recognises the voices outside.
Westcott -
“...sigh* I thought as much...”
Westcott reaches into his satchel, a sound of something being tinkered with can be heard. Westcott then hands the satchel over to the Cashier; with the item in question still conceled within.
Westcott -
“Here, put this in the biggest bag of loot you filled... and, and bring it round in front of me.”
The cashier looks at the front and back doors frantically without fulfilling Westcotts request.
Westcott -
“Look... I know you wanna make a break for it kid. But do this one thing for me...”
The cashier looks uncertain on what to do. Theodore shouts from outside.
Theodore -
“Bill! Bill! You in there? Rody here says he got a couple shots on ya! That true?”
Westcott -
“You kiddin' me!? That dipshit couldn't hit a mountain!”
Roderick -
“Shut it Billy! You know I got you good!”
The cashier looks at Westcott.
Westcott -
“This ain't about the money kid.”
Cashier #1 -
“Alright mister, alright...”
The cashier does as instructed by Westcott.
Theodore -
“Right! We're comin' in Westcott! Ready or not!”
Westcott -
“Go out the back, it should be clear...”
The cashier runs out back in a moments notice; just as the O'Diddleys break through the front doors. Theodore strolls over to Westcott gun in hand, taking note of Westcotts wounds.
Theodore -
“So he didn't get a shot on you huh? How'd you get in that there state then? You trip 'n' fall over?”
Roderick follows closely behind and sniggers at Theos comment.
Roderick -
“You sure I didn't get ya Billy?”
Westcott -
“You a real funny pair, should've known better than trusting a couple of inbred moonshiners...”
Roderick -
“Hey! Who you callin' inbred?!”
Theodore turns to Roderick and point at the door.
Theodore -
“Get back to watching that front door! Keep and eye out for the law will ya?!”
Roderick -
“Ugh... fine, fine!”
Roderick storms back off towards the front door.
Theodore -
“Ain't no need getting riled up lil' Billy. All you got there is a flesh wound after all. But less you start, ugh... cooperating, that there nip gonna' be a real problem in a short while.”
Westcott -
“Alright Theo, then what the hell do you suppose I'd do about it?”
Theodore -
“Well me and my brother here. We ain't trained to be no doctors...”
Westcott -
“I gathered you and your brother ain't qualified professionals, don't think I've ever heard about any inbred hicks becoming doctors...”
Theodore crouches and point the gun barrel right at Westcotts forehead.
Theodore -
“Now ya know I don't like your sarcasm don't ya Billy? An' I sure as shit ain't liking being called no inbred neither. I might not be as “sophisticated” at you Billy, but brains do no good trying to dodge a bullet, am I right?”
Westcott looks Theo dead in the eye and gives a minor smirk.
Westcott -
“That was a mighty big word of you to say Theo... sophisticated... nice going.”
Frustrated, Theo stands back up and kicks Westcott in the head, knocking him down to the floor completely. Roderick pears back through the front door at all the commotion.
Theodore -
“This business don't get old does it?”
Westcott spits blood on the floor and glares back up at Theo.
Theodore -
“Now it won't be long til' that Sheriff Myers catches wind of this. He's a real mean son' bitch; has a might big temper on him if I recall. Ain't no man wanna' be stirring up a fus round' him.”
Westcott lifts himself up slightly, Theo takes a couple steps back gun still drawn.
Westcott -
“So that'
s it then?! You leaving me here for the wolves? Letting them do your dirty work?! You god forsaken chicken shit!”
Theodore -
“As I was sayin' before! If you play nice and sit there quiet an' all, holding that there wound... I'm sure the locals back in town'll patch you up nicely.”
Roderick shouts over from the door and intervenes in the conversation, laughing away.
Roderick -
“Yeah before hangin' ya!”
Theodore -
“Rody! Keep an eye out will ya? I told you already!”
Roderick comes back into the bank.
Roderick -
“Can't see nothin' for miles T! Law won't be here for another time yet!”
Theodore -
“Well... I guess we should take our leave then while we got the time. Start grabbin' the bags Rod.”
Roderick grabs the suspicious bag from in front of Westcott.
Westcott -
“The halfwit O'Diddleys ride again huh?”
Theodore -
“Least we got plentiful journeys ahead of us Bill.”
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First draft
1
Ext – outside of bank, deserted dry lands with lone bank in the middle, three antagonists (Bill Westcott, Theodore and Roderick O'diddley) sit atop a ledge of a mountain looking down onto it. Westcott holding a pocket watch in his hand, mathodicly winding it without looking.
Besides the bank a heavily guarded wagon is being opened and uniformed men are transferring one by one what look like strongly sealed crates, these contain large amounts of gold and bonds.
Wesctcott -
You boys ready?
Theodore -
We sure are Bill, we've been ready for weeks
Roderick -
Yeah yeah! Lets make us a mint
Westcott -
Now slow down, take a deep breath and think, cos if this goes south...
Westcott pauses and looks away from O'diddleys and instead at pocket watch in hand
Westcott -
Well, lets not get into that
Theodore -
Will you quit worrying you're in good hands, have we ever let you down
Roderick -
Yeah we's ever let you down billy?
Westcott-
Well I had to carry your ass in Ashbuck or are you forgettin that one again
Westcott glares at Roderick
Westcott -
And I told you, DONT call me billy
Roderick looks down at the ground sheepishly while Theodore Looks disappointingly at him
Westcott -
So one more time, we round up the gaurds, we need leverage after all, we say we're gonna shoot someone square between the eyes and help them too the purely gates, well, people tend to feel guilt and that means we don't have too shoot nobody.
Theodore -
Whats with you and no killin
Westcott looks over at Theodore
Theodore -
Ahh dont gimme that look, you know what I mean, you always firin that thing just never at anyone,
if you ask me its quicker, gets the job done and stops any heros
2
Roderick -
Yeah its easy, Like shooting rats for supper for moma!
Westcott -
Well I tell you what, I have enough on my conscience already, maybe I dont want somebodys soul on it too, Im a thief boys not a killer boys and I aint gonna start now, we got enough ridin on this and I AM NOT, gonna screw this up and neither are you comprendey amigos. Cmon now looks like they're finishing up, remember like clock work boys
Theodore -
Like clock work
They all then pull up theyre bandannas too conseel they're identities and and begin to ride down the mountain as the heavily armoured and wagon finishes up.
The three quickly ride down and circle the wagon the o'diddleys firing into the air Westcott - Gentlemen, if in you please lay your arms down and surrender to the fact that you are being robbed that would be mighty kind Roderick in a overly excited tone, laughing manicly like he's enjoying this too much
Roderick - yeah get em up get em up
Theodore - you heard him, reach for the sky gentlemen Westcott leans into Theodore
Westcott- you good out here
Theodore - Yeah don't worry we know the drill, you do your thing, we can always count on you my friend
Roderick - ohh this is gonna be good!
Westcott looks takin aback and slightly puzzled at the comment, he then dismounts his horse and makes his way into the bank slowly gun drawn Interior - small bank, clerks cowering behind counter bars between them and the bank floor, westcott holds shotgun up close and aimed eyeing down the sights ready for anything
Westcott - good day gentlemen, no sudden movements and no hero business would be much appreciated as I don't wanna shoot you just as much as you don't wanna get shot, now I'm assuming you know the drill by now, and if you don't all bonds, gold nickels and dimes in the bag spread evenly so ma horse and I don't fall off balance.
The clerks tentivley start too reach below the counter, westcott cocks the shot gun
Westcott - Easy now open the gate and let me through before you go reachin round places I can't see
Cashier 1 - No no Mr I wasn't doin nothing, I was just a getting the keys ya see
Westcott - Well explain yourself next time boy you can make a man worry like that
Westcott cocks gun
Westcott - And I'm not one who likes too worry Cashier 2 faints and hits the floor
Westcott - Hahaaaa I still got it, now open up!
Cashier 1 opens up the large iron bar door and westcott makes his way in Behind the counter gun still pointed at cashier 1
Westcott - Now move it! I ain't got all day!
The cashier begins to unlock lots of small boxes behind him, each one containing bonds and other notes, westcott throws down three large sacks and cashier 1 starts to place them
Westcott - Evenly now ya hear, just like I said and there won't be any trouble
At this point you can hear the horses outside get restless and nay loudly, muffled shouting ensues
Westcott - What the hell are those boys doin?
3
Westcott approaches the front door casually keeping on cashier 1 gun still in hand
Westcott - Hey what going...
As westcott opens the door with his shoulder gun fire breaks out and his hat is shot off, startled he buckles and jumps back through the front door slamming it shut
Westcott - Jesus Christ! Is there a back door too this place?
Westcott runs back through the steel barred door and confronts cashier 1 Chasier 1 trembling Cashier 1 - Y y y yeah through here Gun fire begins through the window westcott hits the deck and grabs cashier 1
Westcott - shit, get down and stay down you fool!!
Both start to frantically crawl towards the back door, westcott grabs the one sack cashier 1 managed to fill They reach the back door and gun fire ceases Both get up and timidly walk toward the door, westcott pushes past cashier 1
Westcott - hold up here, I got the gun I'll go first, you got a horse or something near by Cashier 1 - N n n n no mister I dont, I usually get a ride from the couch that comes here from town Westcott - well I guess today really ain't your day kid, that's what, bowt a mile
Chasier 1 - yes sir
Westcott - a shit the whole god damn town probably heard that gun show so you'll have the sheriff picking you up soon I guess, so will I if I'm not too careful You ready there?
Chasier 1 - Ready for what? Mr
Westcott - 3..2..1
Westcott burst the back door open and begins to run but is instantly shot in the gut and drops back, multiple shots are fired all missing him bar another too the leg
Westcott - God damnit ahh they got me
Westcott stumbles and crumbles back in Chasier 1 grabs a hold of him and carries him over to a chair and sits him down
Chasier 1 - Oh lord Mr that looks pretty bad are you ok
Westcott - Do I look ok?
Chasier 1 - Sorry Mr I just.. I never saw someone been shot before, at least not this close Westcott takes his hand off of the wound and examines it
Westcott - It's alright I've had more led in me before
Chasier 1 - Who..who who are those people....out there mr
Westcott takes down his Balaclava and feels for his pistol
Westcott - I dunno but I believe we're gonna find out and call me bill I think the current state I'm in I should formally introduce myself
At this point there's a sudden slow knock at the front door
Stranger 1 - Little pigs, little pigs, let me in
Stranger 2 - hahahaha we got em now, We gonna gut you like a pig too
Westcott reaches into his small satchel and fiddles with something, westcott hands Chasier 1 his satchel
Westcott - Here, put this in the biggest bag of loot you filled and bring the bag out front of me.
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The audience
The audience I believe I am aiming for would be most likely make ages hopefully 15 + as I want to create something that different age groups can look at, a cocky whitty rebel even in the face of danger for the more teenage bracket, someone with more complex character with emotional attachments who has forward thinking values for the time for the more 20-30s age group and an overall great Western for those older as someone like my grandfather's age group always seem to watch westerns. I feel this could be a good mix and hopefully my script covers the range, I am not aiming for a specific financial group however I feel working class may be more sympathetic towards someone down on their luck just wanting that big jackpot. To try and attract more of a female group I hope the inclusion of a female character would help, I haven't done this just to attarct a female audience as what with one of my plot ideas the mysterious female in the watch is a question point. I'm not really looking into religious aspects for a viewing audience as no religions are really mentioned, challenged or praised within the script, so no biased beliefs etc.
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Character description
Bill Westcott, 34, 6ft with a strong build, weathered look with a scruffy beard and long slicked back hair. He's an honest man, hard working and loyal yet down on his luck, determined to provide the best care for his family he's fallen into the wrong business. Theodore O'didley, 36, 5.9ft with a skinny build,
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Narrative arc and devices
1. Exposition/Introduction: Introduces the main characters and sets the scene.
2. Inciting Incident: This concept refers to the moment where a problem or conflict is introduced, which drives the rest of the story.
3. Rising Action: Intensity of events increases and the conflict grows.
4. Climax: Turning point when events and situations change, for better or worse. 5. Falling Action: Suspense is prolonged as difficulties are confronted and questions are recognized and sometimes answered. The central character typically overcomes conflict in this stage.
6. Resolution/Denouement: Remaining issues are reconciled. A sense of normalcy is reinstated. Characters, choices, and actions are validated, and future possibilities are presented.
Devices-
Theme - what is your story simply about, what happens to said character during journey
Subtext - what is the real meaning behind your story, how is this portrayed within you dialogue and imagery
Message - what is the message and themes within your story, what point are you trying to get across
setting - how does the setting and environment affect your character and their decisions, how does it represent the overall story.
Other devices that can be used to create tension, drama, suspense for the script. The would be known as a plot device.
Backstory - this is a reveal or reliance on past events that shape the characters future, gives reason as to why a character may have certain traits.
Flashback - this can tie in with a backstory but with an actual visualisation.
Foreshadowing - small hints and events that could imply or give hint to what may come.
Cliffhanger - this is a perilously un resolved ending, leaving the viewer at a point of tension, often to extend the story and make the viewer want more, often leaving questions un answered.
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The bank
This story idea can go one of two ways depending on what relationship the main protagonist has with the secondary characters. Both are set in the old west, a different time and a unique setting, plus with the sudden jump in interest in the wild west again thanks to Red Dead Redemption 2 I feel it would be looked at more say if this short were produced.
The first idea I thought would be The Main protagonist Bill Westcott and his two accomplices The O’didley brothers would try and rob a bank for all its worth, taking everything in the process. The three would ride up and attack a heavily armoured couch containing half the gold bonds etc and hold the security hostage outside the bank. The O’didleys would keep an eye outside while Westcott makes his way inside while doing so he gets one of the cashiers to fill the sack with the loot. While the cashier is doing this noises and gun fire start outside so Westcott, with little loot, tries to make his way outside and escape thinking the law has caught up with them. As he makes his way out his is shot at and potentially fatally wounded without medical attention. He’s now stuck inside bleeding out, what can he do and who is on the outside. The big twist would be that the O’didleys have double crossed him, realising this is a big score they want the loot for themselves.
The second option would the scene would start with Westcott
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1992
This story is set in 1992 in America in a backward swamp, deralick and run down town in the south. The main protagonist is a young woman 19 called lily, she's at an age where she is being considered a woman but still babied by her family. Her family are wealthy high society proper and prim, with two sisters and three brothers all older and all with their noses in the sky lily stands out a mile. A true image of grunge she's rebellious, unkempt and forward thinking all of which her family detests. Because of this she is sent to a prestigious collage to teach her the correct ways to becoming a woman. She is sent by train but purposely gets on the wrong one, this is where the horror begins. While passing through the deralick swamp area on the train the lights begin to turn on and off and the train begins to slow. The train driver announces they will have to stop at the next station as theres something on the tracks further ahead that's being attented too. She arrives at the station without a clue where to go and what to do, she's informed there's a police station in the town she could approach. while going through town she finds the place creepy, the people there don't like outsiders and she immediately doesn't feel welcome. She notices more and more creepy things going on until she asks one of the locals who quietly explains the stories of people getting lost in the swamps, that there's 'creatures' out there. She is taken a back but stays as she has no real choice, she awakes during the night to noises and see strange figures outside they begin to come for her she must now fight for her life as some of the town's people dressed in robes try to take her. She escapes but now must hide and try to get herself home without being caught all while discovering more strange and ever haunting things. This is the long version of one of my ideas as I thought about what genres I could look into and taking horror back to tense moments and actual fear rather than just jump scares is something I've wanted to do in the past, as this idea has been floating around in my head for a while now.
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The Pixar prompt
The Pixar prompt is a technique used by pixar to start the ball rolling it goes as follows Once a time there was ___. Every day, ___. One day ___. Because of that, ___. Because of that, ___. Until finally ___. We were given the task of doing our own version today, mine went as follows. Once upon a time there was an old man. Every day, he would walk through the forest with his dog. One day he went for his walk,but there was no forrest, it had been cut down. Because of that, he got very upset, where was he to walk and enjoy nature, so he went home and planted his own seeds. Because of that, many trees and plants grew big and closer to him . Until finally his great grandchildren had their own forrest. This was a simple task but I thought might as well throw in something that pulls on your heart strings why not.
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Ideas
The first few ideas I have had for this piece are a weird combo, however I am just thinking of ideas at this point see where they go. My first idea is that of a cowboy film, something I don't think anyone else will do. This would be perhaps a bank Robbery of some kind, something could go wrong and the main character would have to make an ultimate decision. My second idea is one I have had floating around for a while, this one would be about a young rebellious girl who is sent away to a boarding school but intentionally gets on the wrong train and stumbles upon a mysterious town where strange creatures lerk and the town's people are in an almost cult like state. My third idea is that of a futuristic super hero, his family are taken and he must do everything he can to find them and stop the evil alien corporation from running the city and enslaving others. In the process he encounters an old hero, one who used to protect the city but ultimately stopped when he lost it all, they work together making each better in the process. These are my three little ideas at the moment they're just a work in progress but I feel strongly about the first one never the less I shall work and develop them further.
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Andrew stanton
youtube
We had an interesting lesson today, we watched a video of someone called Andrew Stanton, one of the key people at Pixar and has written so many good films.
His back catalogue include, Toy Story, A Bug's Life, Toy Story 2, Monsters, Inc, Finding Nemo, WALL-E and Finding Dory.
I found this talk very interesting and helpful.
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